Nightblade IV: Book Two - Viper's Kiss
by KnightEstoc
Summary: Assassination comes easy to me. Still, this assignment might just be the hardest challenge I've ever faced. Even if it means killing my Mach 20 teacher, I'll graduate from this classroom...
1. Summer End Time

**Chapter 1: Summer End Time**

* * *

My life so far has been a series of strange, bizarre events that seem almost like they're parodying the idea of a normal life. I want to play a new video game? How about playing that game for _two years_ because I'm trapped inside. Help out a friend with work? Nope, actually I'm facing down a serial killer. Go to school?

Try to kill my teacher.

That last one might take some explaining if I had to talk to a therapist - pfft, right - but on the other hand the existence of the STL Machine is still incredibly secret. I'd probably be hauled off to jail before I so much as mentioned RATH.

Still, I was stuck inside the STL Machine for the foreseeable future; I needed, I'm assuming here, to recover from being injected with a murder drug by the aforementioned serial killer's partner in crime, Johnny Black. Fuck that guy, by the way, I hope he's dead. Asshole thinks he can hurt my brother and get away with it?

In the STL Machine, I've been de-aged back to 13, stuck in a class called 3-E - the E stands for End, apparently - and told to kill the yellow octopus bio-engineered super creature that's teaching the class.

And the worst part of all this is, I think I'm starting to get used to the ridiculousness that is my teacher.

"A test of courage?" Nagisa asked, staring at Korosensei. "On our last day here?"

...Huh. How about that. I can still be surprised by stuff.

Neat.

Our assassination vacation had been oh-so-rudely interrupted by some idiot with a grudge over something we may or may not have done to him in the past, and so we lost a lot of time. It was almost over. Almost, but not quite; Korosensei decided we had one last activity to participate in before we left the next morning.

Wait fuck leaving means going on the boat again fuck fuck fuck, Takaoka, Takaoka come back and save me...

"Of course!" Korosensei said, stretching his tentacles while dressed up in a stereotypical ghost, complete with white robes. "What better activity for a fine midsummer's night?"

"Might I suggest reading? Or," I said slowly, "...anything else other than this?"

Okano poked my side and I twitched, frowning at her. "Don't be a buzzkill, Nick," she said. "What do you have against tests of courage anyway?"

"Normally nothing," I said. "But this is Korosensei we're talking about. When has he _ever_ done something without having an ulterior motive?"

"Yeah, nice try," Karma said lazily to the octopus. "You just wanna have fun at our expense."

"See, Karma agrees with me."

Okano shook her head. "Is that a good thing, or...?"

I shrugged. "I'll get back to you on that whenever I figure it out myself."

"Unlike some, who shall remain nameless," Korosensei said, " _I've_ been too cooped up in a shell to have any fun at all! We're on a tropical island for crying out loud!"

Maehara clenched a fist. "I think a test of courage sounds like a blast," he said with an easy grin.

"No kidding!" Isogai said.

"Aww..." Kurahashi sighed. "But I don't _like_ being scared."

Sugino waved away her worries. "Don't worry," he said. "Korosensei'll be playing the ghosts, right?"

"Oh yeah!"

"So it won't be scary," Sugino said.

Somehow, Korosensei's sly grin and low chuckling seemed slightly sketchy to me. Of course, that _could_ just be my paranoia speaking, but on the other hand, I've made it this far by not trusting anyone other than my family, why stop now?

Following Korosensei's lead, everyone in E Class trooped down to the beach and followed him to the entrance of a cave. "This beach cavern is the ideal spot," he said. "I want everyone to walk through in boy-girl pairs."

Alright yeah okay my bullshit senses are tingling. "'Scuse me sir," I drawled. "We've got an odd number of people. Mind if I go with Ritsu and pretend that works?"

"An excellent suggestion, Nick," Korosensei nodded. "Now! First group, go ahead." Kayano and Nagisa looked at each other, then shrugged and headed into the murky cave.

...Heh, I could totally make a joke about the pairs supposed to be boy-girl, not girl-girl, but Nagisa seems a little sensitive to stuff like that so I won't. See the magic of learning boundaries in action, I guess.

When it was finally my turn to go through, I flicked on the flashlight and sauntered through the cave. This was probably a chance to try to kill Korosensei, but let's be real; we'd failed when we had every conceivable advantage, so what was the point in doing it right now? Might as well regroup, lick our wounds, and come up with a better plan later.

"Y'know, I've never wondered this before, but do AI get scared of stuff?" I asked Ritsu as I followed the path. Din and Yui never really bring it up, but... what would they be scared of? "Like, segfaults, or crappy OS updates, or stuff like that?"

Ritsu giggled. "No, not exactly," she said. "But I was worried earlier, back on the roof," she added, her voice getting a little softer and kinder. "You were acting kinda scary."

Ugh. Way to make me feel like a tool, Ritsu. I definitely owe her an apology.

In fact, I was about to give her one when a convenient distraction reared its ugly head as blue flames flickered into existence, illuminating some the gloom my flashlight only barely pushed back. The sound of plucking strings echoed through the cave as a ghost-like figure glided into view.

Except the ghost figure was Korosensei, and so I didn't really give a damn. Stuff like this wasn't very scary, and jump scares weren't any better; the scary part was when I was walking between ghost sightings, alone in the dark. I didn't like the dark. I didn't like anything that kept me from seeing things coming.

And this time, I didn't have Kana here to hold my hand. Gods damn it. I miss her. I really, really miss her.

"Beware," Spooky Korosensei intoned. "You have entered a cave drenched in blood and tragedy. For here, routed in battle, members of the Ryuku royalty met an untimely and most violent end..." The flames died out and I twitched, taking deep breaths to keep myself calm.

I wonder if that's true, though, the whole royalty death thing. Kinda macabre if it's true.

"You would be wise to remain on guard," Korosensei suddenly said, appearing behind me. I gritted my teeth, not looking. "For if you travel alone, you will be haunted by restless spirits..."

Uh huh. Yeah. That's not suspicious in the slightest as to your true motives, Korosensei.

His presence disappeared, leaving the way forward clear. As I kept walking through the tunnel, I could hear him start up the spiel again for the pair following me, which, uh... it made it feel a little bit more real, I guess.

"Nick?" Ritsu asked as I wandered through the tunnels, flashlight playing over the floor, walls, and ceiling as I constantly moved it around. "Are you alright? Your heart rate has increased substantially."

"Yeah, I'm fine," I said, swallowing. "It's just... Darkness freaks me out. I can't see anything coming for me, and I have to rely on other senses, and without -" I cut myself off. Talking about Future Step? You idiot, how are you this rattled? "Without my eyes I can't predict what's coming next."

I shook my head. "Sorry, I'm rambling. Just... keep talking with me, Ritsu? It helps if I can distract myself."

"Alright," she said. "Did you know that my core processing unit has enough memory to hold..."

While she rattled off weird esoteric facts about her hardware that would probably make Kazuto either blush or jealous depending on how he interpreted the conversation, I was able to focus on that instead of the possibility that there was _something behind me trying to attack_ or that the _shadow from my flashlight was an enemy_.

Gods, I'm fucked up. Sometimes I forget how much Aincrad wrecked my psyche.

"Ah, Ritsu," I said while she was talking about hardware ports, "don't mean to interrupt, but we've reached, uh... something."

Skulls and more blue fire dangled from the ceiling. "We starved to death in these caves," the jaws clattered. "But before our death, we stooped to the depths of consuming a single bone. Now, _you_ must do the same!"

Something dropped in front of me.

I stared at the pocky stick. "We will not be satisfied until the bone is consumed from both ends!" the skulls rattled.

"Oh, for fuck's sake," I sighed. Reaching up, I snapped the pocky stick in half and then shoved both halves in my mouth, munching away irritably.

Dead silence filled the cave for a few seconds.

"Oooooh," the skulls moaned. "You may proceed..."

Yeah. This wasn't fooling anyone.

I had a feeling when he mentioned it, but the whole boy-girl pair thing gave me a pretty good idea as to what Korosensei had in mind. He wanted people to pair off romantically in the class, for no real reason other than general nosiness that I could see. If he'd had some other reason, he'd probably have argued when I asked to go with Ritsu - but since I have a girlfriend and Ritsu is an AI, he probably figured it was okay for the two of us to wander through this together.

It didn't hurt my theory that the next spooky event I stumbled upon was a supposedly-dead corpse behind a screen door, asking to see people kiss.

Yeah.

"Hey, Ritsu?" I asked as I walked through the cave. "You there?"

"Uh huh! What is it, Nick?" Ritsu replied.

I kicked at a pebble on the stone floor. "I, uh... Thanks, Ritsu, for what you said. You saw I was in trouble, and you helped out." I sighed. "I... have issues," I said to her. "It's related to stuff I've gone through in the past."

"Are you talking about your scar?" Ritsu asked.

I chuckled. "That's related, yeah," I shrugged. "I dunno. It's just... Normally, I'm able to deal, but seeing Takaoka up there and then having him destroy our only chance at saving our classmates, even if it wasn't really the only chance..." I shook my head, trying to put my thoughts in order and stop them from just spilling out like this.

"I miss my family."

"Your family?" Ritsu asked. "Your… friends? I think you call them your sisters?"

"Yeah," I said. "Shino, Asuna, Rika, Keiko... All of them. My brother, too. And especially Kana. None of them are here, and I can't see them for a while."

I'd managed to get along just fine for the first few months of my isolation, but that was clearly by subconsciously not thinking about it. Takaoka had fucked that up, though. With the rage breaking through, I was off-balance and my emotions were running hot, and Kana was in the forefront of my mind, now.

I let out another sigh. "I just want to see my family," I muttered. "I miss having someone nearby."

"Well," Ritsu said, "if you ever want to talk, you can talk to me! I don't mind!"

I grinned weakly. "Thanks, Ritsu, but... it's not the same, y'know? You're a good friend, but... you're not..." I shook my head. I didn't want to be a jerk.

"I understand," she said, and I checked my phone. She was smiling, so at least she didn't take offense. "My offer still stands, though. I may not be a mental health care AI -" I twitched and she clearly caught it, but ignored it, "- but you can always talk to me, Nick. That's what friends are for, right?"

"Sure," I said.

"…By the way," Ritsu said hesitantly, "what's the significance of that name?"

"Huh? What name?"

Ritsu blinked. "Rythin. What you wanted me to call you if you were losing control."

I licked my lips. "It's… Hhh, it's the name of the avatar I've been using for a while. I met all of my family while using it as a name. But they're the only ones who know about it, so hearing you say it then would have surprised me enough that I could think clearly. Nothing more, nothing less." I wasn't going to tell her that this world was a fake reality, of course. So, changing the subject. "Now, I think Terasaka's group should be entering soon, right?"

"They just entered," Ritsu said. "What does -"

A horrible shriek of terror filled the cave, echoing from wherever Korosensei came from. "That," I said with a shrug. "Korosensei's the biggest coward in 3-E, remember? Of course he's going to be scared of ghosts." And Hazama wasn't... well, I'm a jerk. She has a gift for looking absolutely horrifying.

Korosensei Weakness Number Twenty-Four: As expected, he's scared of the supernatural.

Yeah, I was just waiting for that to happen, actually.

"Now that the fun's over," I said, listening to the various shrieks of horror, "let's get going."

"Okay~," Ritsu chirped.

In the end, Korosensei ended up lying flat, face-down in the beach sand at the exit to the cave. "Haah... hahh..." he panted. "What an unmitigated disgrace..."

"So let me get this straight," Maehara said. "This whole thing was about scaring us into hooking up so you could have material for a book?"

Called it~.

" _So_ knew that's what you were doing," Okano said.

"What's wrong with seeing tender feelings blossom between two bright young things?" Korosensei sobbed. "Before their best years are behind them, and they're stuck in a loveless marriage, and..."

I kinda tuned him out at that point. The suspension bridge effect was true, yes, but it would only really work if the event was sufficiently arousing - wrong word, shit. If the event sufficiently raised the heart rate - better word choice, me - enough that the subject wouldn't notice. Then, they would hopefully see the target of their affections and subconsciously mistake the accelerated rate from tension for affection and romantic feelings.

This was dumb, in other words.

"Are we sure he's an adult?" Kimura asked.

"Not that we don't appreciate the thought and all, but c'mon," Nakamura said. "We're just kids. Did it maybe occur to you that some of us don't feel like being in a relationship. I mean, out of all of us, _Nick's_ the only one that's in a stable relationship right now, and that's saying something."

I frowned. Should... Should I be offended by that, or flattered? The little wink and grin Nakamura sent my way didn't make things any clearer.

"And no offense, but isn't shipping us sort of creepy?" the blonde continued.

I grinned. Oh, I had thoughts on some of the class, but it was way more fun to watch the idiots dance around each other like flailing teenagers. Which, to be honest, is what they were. So sue me, I couldn't get my usual fill of watching Kazuto effortlessly attract every female in a five-kilometer radius, I had to get my kicks somewhere.

"I know, I'm sorry..." Korosensei sobbed.

"Pathetic!" Professor Bitch's voice rang out, uh... bitchily. "You call that a test of courage? There was no one in there! What a waste."

I glanced over at the last pair to exit the cave. She says that, but she's still clinging onto Karasuma's arm for dear life. "You can let go of my arm any day now," our teacher said pointedly. "This is not what I need after an all-nighter."

"Ugh, shut up!" Professor Bitch snapped. "You're a man, aren't ya? It's your damn responsibility to escort pretty women!"

I just groaned and introduced the heel of my palm to my forehead. Really. This is what's happening now. Gods, just end my suffering already. Tonight is going to be relationship drama night, isn't it?

As soon as Professor Bitch caught all of us watching her little fit, she dropped Karasuma's arm and tried to tiptoe away casually, giggling nervously like she'd been able to hide her obvious infatuation with Karasuma.

"Hey," one of the guys said. "Is anyone else thinkin' what I'm thinkin'?"

"That Professor Bitch is..." Kurahashi trailed off meaningfully. Nakamura grinned.

"Should we do something?" Maehara asked.

Nakamura nodded. "We don't head home until tomorrow morning, so there's time~."

"Let's hook them up," Korosensei said darkly, eyes gleaming with mischief. Every other member of Class E, barring Nagisa, had the exact same expression on their face.

This. This is my life now. The last mission on this vacation was going to be trying to ship Professor Bitch with Karasuma.

Kana, Shino, Asuna, Kazuto, anybody, please just someone save me from hormonal teenagers.

...

"Ugh," Professor Bitch moaned back at the hotel, "you're killing me. The man's so obtuse."

I mean, I'll bitch and moan, but I'm still going to _watch_ this amazing train wreck. Kinda like Karma, who is currently leaning against the veranda pillar across from me.

"Isn't that a bit out of character for you?" Maehara needled her. "You're supposed to be known for wrapping guys around your little finger."

"But when it comes to her own love life," Kayano added, "she doesn't have a clue."

"Oh, knock it off," Professor Bitch snapped. "Love? Don't make me laugh."

"What? You're not in love?"

I grinned. "Ooh, quick, someone tell Kurahashi that Karasuma's back on the market."

The girl in question frowned at me. "Jerk," she muttered. Yes, that is true. Though I guess I probably shouldn't make fun of her. The heart likes whomever it likes, I think. I wouldn't know, since _my_ heart is all kinds of fucked up and also very much devoted towards Kana.

"No!" Professor Bitch said. "I'm attracted to the challenge of conquering a world-class square! I just... wanted to see if I could make him fall for me, that's all..."

That? That was definitely a hundred percent believable.

(It really wasn't.)

Professor Bitch blushed. "And I got... carried away," she admitted bashfully.

Every other guy in the class stiffened suddenly, their cheeks going red. "That... was kinda adorable," Sugino said.

"More like embarrassing," Maehara said.

"Don't judge me!" Professor Bitch snapped.

I guess I really can't get on anyone's case about awkward love lives, given that the relationship chart of _my_ friend group looks like someone threw a plate of spaghetti on the ground. Spaghetti that was like, magnetically attracted to one particular meatball. Meanwhile, there's the Nick meatball and the Kana meatball off to the side, nuzzling against each other with a single noodle between them, aaaand I think this simile got lost somewhere in translation.

"Hey, it's cool, really!" Maehara told our teacher. "We've got this! Let us set the stage, and you can take it from there!" Professor Bitch actually looked surprised by this.

Nakamura grinned and nodded. "Yeah!"

"Well, if you think you can..." Professor Bitch said.

Suddenly Okajima held up a whiteboard reading 'Karasuma + Irina Pair-up Plan'. Korosensei slid in from out of nowhere, dressed up in a suit with glasses. "Excellent," he said smoothly. "In that case I call the Class 3-E love consultant meeting to order."

"Eager much, octopus?" Professor Bitch grumbled.

"Come now," Korosensei said, adjusting his glasses. "It's only natural to encourage romance between colleagues." As if his oily words weren't obvious enough, the bright pink color his face turned kinda gave away his real intentions. "A female educator aching for the touch of her stoic counterpart...! If that's not a trashy bestseller in the making, I don't know what is!"

Nagisa stared at Korosensei in surprise. "I think you're planning something racier than we are," he said. Really, though, is he surprised at this point?

"If we're going to do this right," Maehara began, "we're gonna have to start by overhauling your fashion sense." I looked at Professor Bitch; her clothes revealed more skin than they covered.

Nakamura nodded. "I'll say. Revealing might be appealing for _some_ people, but parading the goods doesn't cut it for a stuffed shirt like Karasuma. Your wardrobe should be more... understated."

Professor Bitch blinked in thought. "Understated... Huh, okay then."

"Use the way Kanzaki dresses as a model and you can't go wrong," Nakamura said. Behind her, Kanzaki let out a quiet murmur of surprise. "As a matter of fact, is what you wore yesterday dry?" If I remember, it was some frilly light green and white dress thing.

Kanzaki smiled. "Yes, of course." She hurried off to her hotel room.

After Professor Bitch got changed, Nakamura grinned. "See? It makes you look like a..."

She trailed off.

Yeah, the dress didn't really change anything.

"How in the world did that make her even sexier!" the class roared.

"Well, to begin with, the fit's a little snug in places," Sugaya said.

Okajima turned to glance at the mortified Kanzaki. "Man, I don't even wanna tell you about what I think about when Kanzaki's in that thing..."

I just patted the sobbing girl's back soothingly. "You'll, uh... you'll get over it?" I offered.

"Fine, whatever," Okano sighed. "Huge boobs we can work with. Not like we have a choice... Bust size doesn't really matter that much anyway!" Kayano nodded furiously.

Heh. I sense jealousy in the air.

"Have we established Mr. Karasuma's type?" Korosensei asked, poking at the bridge of his glasses.

"Yeah," Yada said, clapping a fist into an open palm. "That girl in the ad, I think he's... I don't know, eerily infatuated with her. Said she's his ideal type or something."

What ad?

I poked Ritsu, and she obligingly played the ad for us.

"Oh gods," I muttered in horrified fascination. "This... simultaneously surprises me far more and far less than it really should."

Three muscular women were promoting some brand of something. Two were shooting laser beams out of their eyes, and the third was flexing.

"He likes his ideal military type!" the class shouted.

Okuda raised a hand. "Well, the quickest way to a man's heart is his stomach!" she said. "They serve some pretty good stuff here! We could arrange it so that the two of you eat his favorite dish together on the beach!"

"Trouble is, I've only ever seen the guy eat burgers and cup ramen, though," Maehara said.

Nakamura grinned weakly. "Doesn't exactly set the mood for a romantic evening."

I grinned. Karasuma, sitting on the beach with Professor Bitch. The sun is setting, and he takes her hand in his. She swoons, and he whispers, 'Would you like fries with that?'

...My imagination is fucked up.

"Grr..." Korosensei groaned. "This match was doomed from the start!"

Maehara frowned in thought. "Yeah, I'm starting to think the problem here is Mr. Karasuma."

"See!" Professor Bitch exclaimed. "He's such an idiot!"

"I should have seen it before!" Korosensei sobbed. "A man who never laughs at my jokes is a lost cause!"

That's just because you're not funny, sir.

I do, however, appreciate that the go-to default when we run out of options is insulting Karasuma, though.

Korosensei dried his tears. "There's no help for it," he said. "But still, let's do what we can before dinner. The ladies are in charge of hair and makeup! The gentlemen are tasked with setting _just_ the right ambience for the table."

"Roger," we all said, some more and less enthused. I was less enthused, naturally. I was probably just going to find a spot and read until dinner, since my skills were less than useful in the world of relationships.

Dinner started late, and I was more than ready to eat. When the fancy restaurant finally let us eat, I took a seat with Karma, Nagisa, and Kayano. The menu looked alright, I guess, given that I didn't have to pay for anything and my food was probably going to set a world record for how fast it was going to disappear.

A few minutes into the light-hearted pre-dinner chatter, Karasuma wandered in to the seating area. "We're supposed to be eating as a group, right?" he asked, scanning the tables. "So, where do I sit?"

Nakamura and Okano were in charge of filling up the remaining empty seats. Nakamura was fulfilling her duties by reclining and stretching out on the couch, while Okano was pulling off some splits that were painful to _watch_. I have no idea how that girl pulls it off. "Well, not here, obviously," Nakamura said without even opening her eyes. "It looks like there isn't enough room."

"Is our favorite teacher trying to force his way into a seat?" Okano asked in faux shock.

"Honestly, you'd just get in the way here," Nakamura continued. "How about you be a good sport about it and eat your dinner outside, okay?"

Karasuma just stared at them. "Uh...?"

Poor guy. Subject to E Class's apparently famous teacher bullying.

After he wandered outside, muttering something under his breath about being out of touch, the entirety of E Class looked at each other, nodded, and as one zoomed over to the veranda to watch the drama unfold. I went to the window to watch, mainly out of curiosity of how this would turn out rather than any investment in the outcome.

Now, had we wagered on it, that would be an entirely different story altogether. Greed usually beats Sloth.

I have to admit, the girls did a good job with Professor Bitch. Her hair was pulled up into a ponytail and her usual skimpy attire was covered by a nice-looking shawl that I think Hara made. Of course, Karasuma didn't mention any of that. "Why the hell'd just the two of us get kicked out?" Karasuma asked her as he sat down at the table.

Seriously though, c'mon. A single table on the beach?

"Oh, uh, who knows?" Professor Bitch stammered. A far cry from her usual composed and elegant self.

Off to the side, I saw Kurahashi staring at Karasuma and weeping tears of anguish, biting down on her handkerchief. Part of me wanted to go over and poke fun at her, and while it seemed like a fun idea it probably wasn't a very good one. Instead, I just returned to my seat and leaned back in my chair, staring at the ceiling.

Man. Today kinda... disappeared, didn't it.

After a few minutes I glanced out the window again. The class was shouting at Professor Bitch and she was shouting right back.

I, uh, take it the date didn't go so well, then. Not that I was expecting anything to come of this, really. In game terms, Karasuma would have a hundred percent resistance to the Charm status effect. Professor Bitch could stack as many buffs as she wanted, Karasuma would still just nope it. Well, at least we learned one thing:

Karasuma Weakness Number One: Denser than dense.

* * *

Summer vacation was coming along quite nicely until I got somewhat of an uninvited guest. "Weyr," Asano said, standing in front of my door when I opened it.

"What's up, Heir Apparent?" I snarked right back. "What's so vital that you came all this way to talk to a lowly Class E student?"

He gritted his teeth, and I grinned lazily. This was fun, trying to piss him off as much as possible. He clearly had a message he needed to deliver, so might as well enjoy myself. "I'm here to invite you to Class A," he said through a clenched jaw. "Your scores are exemplary and I have already obtained permission from -"

"Nah I'm good," I said, closing the door in his face.

He knocked again.

I opened it. "We're closed," I growled, and slammed the door again.

He knocked again.

"Whatever you're selling, I don't want any."

 _Slam._

 _Knock knock knock._

Mother fu- "Okay, seriously, piss right the fuck off," I snapped at him. "I'm not joining your little coterie, just accept that already."

"I refuse to accept no," he said.

"There's a name for people like you," I hissed.

"Persistent?"

I rolled my eyes. "I was thinking either stalker or asshole, but sure let's go with persistent." Hm... If I close the door again, he's just going to continue knocking. And I'm pretty sure I'd end up expelled if _he_ ended up with a broken jaw and wrists, so taking care of things the easy way is out too. "Alright, fine," I said. "How about this. You prove to me that A Class _won't_ be a colossal waste of my time and I'll switch classes."

The first-ranked student studied me carefully. I had to be on my toes with this kid, since he was the principal's son. If I wasn't careful, he'd swindle me right into A Class, and while that'd be an interesting plot twist I happen to enjoy trying to kill Korosensei. "And how would you propose I do that?" he asked finally.

"How about another wager?" I asked with a shrug. "You find someone else that's willing to switch classes, and if they make the swap permanently then I'll come along for the ride. A two for one deal, let's say." I tilted my head. "But on the other hand, if they come back to E Class, you don't try to shanghai me again. Sound like a deal?"

"No one else can know about this," he said immediately. "I don't want the second student's choice being affected by knowledge of his importance."

"Fine, fine, whatever, I won't blab," I said. "Look, just... go bother someone else, I'm tired of dealing with you." I didn't sleep well last night, so dealing with this shit is just asking way, way too much of me. "Now leave me alone." With a final slam, I closed the door. Thankfully, he didn't keep knocking.

I wonder who he's gonna pick. The class is largely a single unit, with very few dissenters now that Terasaka has been assimilated into the fold. Who's the loose thread he'll pick at?

Meh, I'll worry about it when it comes up.

...

"A summer festival?" Karma asked, staring at Korosensei.

It was kinda awkward, since Karma and I had been hanging out and relaxing by playing some video games in his room when Korosensei just appeared in his window. Apparently, there was going to be a summer festival at seven tonight. "I just thought of it today," Korosensei cried. "I asked the whole class, but... almost everyone seems to have other plans!"

"I for one am shocked by that revelation," I said drily. "Shocked, I tell you."

"I'm starting to feel rejected..." Korosensei cried.

Karma looked at me, and I raised an eyebrow before shrugging. He nodded and turned off the console before turning to Korosensei. "Alright," he said. "We'll go." Korosensei laughed and clapped his hands together. "It's not like we were doing anything else anyway," he continued.

I glanced off to the side of Karma's desk, where a bunch of references books were sitting. Eh, whatever.

The festival Korosensei led us to was bright and cheerful, and for a second my stomach clenched. I'd... I'd never been to a festival with Kana. The only summer it was possible, she'd been away the entire time.

Gods I missed my girlfriend.

"Are you okay, Nick?" Isogai asked.

Maehara nodded. "Yeah, that was a pretty heavy sigh there, man."

I shook my head. "Just... nah, it's nothing. Just me being stupid."

I wandered the festival and grabbed a few snacks while drifting from stall to stall. Crowded places weren't really my idea of a good time to begin with, and I was never one for window shopping. Still, I ran into a few of the students from class; Yada and Kurahashi were talking about getting some great deal or another, Okajima was fiddling with a camera, and Kanzaki and Kataoka were laughing about some fizzy drink they were trying out. Kayano and Nagisa were off chatting with Korosensei, and Karma was busy blackmailing some stall out of a high-value game console.

Typical Karma, really. He knew there was no winning string in that game before he even walked over, but he decided to teach the bully a lesson anyway.

I watched Chiba and Hayami get kicked out of the shooting gallery after knocking over ninety percent of the prizes; it was admittedly kinda fun to watch the two of them get all depressed about it.

Basically, all the ladies looked lovely in their traditional yukatas - I'm assuming, since I'm, well, me - and the guys were having the time of their life earning ridiculous amounts of rewards at all the booths.

Ignoring the rest, I kinda just looked at all the stalls, grabbed something tasty for dinner, and then sauntered off behind the nearby shrine to eat in peace. If I were with Kana, or my family? Definitely a different story. But by myself, I just wanted to relax.

As I passed, I briefly stopped to chat with Nagisa and Kayano while they were busy scooping water balloon yo-yos out of the water. Some kid was watching them in awe as they casually grabbed ball after ball. "Wow, everybody's raking it in," Kayano said.

"Yeah, turns out assassination skills come in handy in the everyday world," Nagisa said.

Kayano grinned. "Like getting all the men in the Chamber of Commerce tent to buy you drinks? I can see that." I glanced over, and sure enough Professor Bitch was living it up in there.

"Where's Korosensei?" Nagisa asked.

"Being entrepreneurial," Kayano replied. "End of the month, he's strapped for cash." She pointed off to the side.

"The food stalls?!" Nagisa yelped. "Really?" I'm amazed the general public hasn't discovered this idiot already, the way he was running ten different stands at once. Funnily enough, the stands were ones that E Class had driven out of business by eating up all of their prizes.

While they were distracted, I caught the attention of the kid watching those two scoop water balloons before winking. Carefully, I snatched up one of Nagisa's prizes without him noticing and sauntered over to the kid. "Here," I said. "Take it. They won't mind." He grinned up at me and bolted, running off. When I turned back, Kayano was watching me, and I shrugged guilelessly.

Meh, I felt like being mean to Nagisa.

After that, though, I found a nice comfy place to sit back and relax, leaning against a torii gate. A loud bang startled me at first until I realized it was just the fireworks show starting, and relaxed against the painted wood again. Hng... I'm tired.

I haven't been sleeping well. No matter how much I exercise before bed, I don't sleep well.

Damn it all. This is why I need my family. If Kana were here... Well, if Kana were here I'd be able to cuddle up next to her and sleep like a log.

"Ah, Nick," Korosensei said, and I lazily rolled my head to look at him. I wasn't startled, I'd heard him coming. "So this is where you've run off to."

"Just enjoying the quiet," I said simply. "Looks like you've made out like a bandit," I said, staring meaningfully at the sack of cash he was holding.

"Indeed!" he said. "Even if I subtract for essential expenses, I should have no problem paying for snacks in September."

"Cool."

Korosensei stashed the cash somewhere. "Oh, have you heard the news?"

I shook my head. "Ritsu didn't tell me anything vital. Is it important?"

Korosensei wriggled his tentacles. "As it turns out, your assassination attempt on me this summer didn't go unnoticed! The upshot is, if a group kills me, the reward money is tripled!"

"Cool."

I went back to staring at the fireworks. Korosensei didn't seem to mind.

"And how about you?" he asked someone else. I glanced his way, but he was looking over my shoulder. "I hope you were able to enjoy yourself! Classes start tomorrow, so I'll see you bright and -"

The student said something. I didn't even need to look to see who it was; I recognized the voice.

"...Eh?" Korosensei asked flatly, as if he couldn't believe what he'd just heard. "You're leaving... Class E?"

A firework burst overhead.

Hm. So this was Asano's play, was it? Well, let the game begin.

Standing, I stretched out. "So, by the way, Korosensei," I said. "This is probably a good time to let you know that I'm heading to Class A too. Got asked by Asano the Younger directly, aren't I important..."

"Eh?!" Korosensei exclaimed.

* * *

The problem with being sworn to silence was that I knew all kinds of fun stuff, but I couldn't tell anybody or snark about comments that were just horribly wrong. It also didn't help that I had to keep track of who knew what; Korosensei knew that I was leaving, but not why, Asano knew everything, and Class E had no idea I was about to ditch them for a bit. And absolutely nobody knew anything about my true past.

Either way, the opening ceremony of the second semester was about as tedious as the others. "I mean, it hasn't even started and I already want to leave," I sighed.

Okano just patted my back. "You'll survive," she said with zero trace of sympathy in her voice. Mean.

Well, the summer is over, I guess. Six months. Six months until Korosensei destroys the planet. Six months to kill our teacher.

"It's been a while, Class E," a familiarly annoying voice said.

I craned my neck back to look at the four idiots that were bothering us. "I'm sure the second semester's gonna be tough," the one guy said. English Guy? No, no, he was language... Or social studies? No, wait, I was right the first time, he's the English guy.

"Try not to get too upset, geheheheh," Science Guy laughed. Still laughing, the Big Five minus Asano wandered over to where Class A was grouping.

Huh. Just a few months and I already forgot their names. Guess they're just that forgettable. Still, it pinged my radar that they were smiling and laughing despite their humiliating defeat in the finals. They probably know something E Class doesn't - and I think I know what.

"...Now then," Announcer Guy said - Seo! That's English Guy's name, Seo! - as the most recent speakers trooped off the stage. "I have one last announcement for everyone before this ceremony ends. Starting today, Class 3-A will be adding a new member to their ranks. And until yesterday, he was in Class E."

 _That_ little bombshell jolted the class, shocking them all. "However," Araki - Oh, shoot, that's Announcer Guy's name! I remembered! Go me~ - continued, "with hard work and effort, he has earned excellent grades and the permission to return to the main school building. Well then," Araki said, "let us hear his words of joy!"

The student in question walked onto stage, clutching a folded piece of paper.

"Koutaro Takebayashi!" Araki exclaimed.

Takebayashi stood in front of the announcer's microphone and unfolded what was probably a speech prepared by Asano. Meanwhile, Class E couldn't possibly believe what was happening.

"I have spent over three months with Class E," Takebayashi said. "Simply put, that environment was _hell_. My classmates had no drive, and the teachers had given up on us. I realized the price I paid for slacking. 'I want to go back to the main school building.' That goal drove me to study as if my life depended on it. From the bottom of my heart, I'm overjoyed that I am able to return. I will work hard so that I never fall into Class E again. That is all."

He bowed to the silent auditorium.

Stunned silence reigned.

Until finally, a single pair of hands started clapping as Takebayashi walked off-stage. Asano walked on from the wings, smiling angelically. "Welcome back, Takebayashi," he said.

The rest of the auditorium, now that they had an idea how to react, went to it with a will, wildly applauding and cheering for Takebayashi's return.

...

"What's with that guy?!" Maehara shouted, slamming his fist against the wall. "I can't believe he even threw away a chance at ten billion yen to ditch us!"

"And he even said this place was hell!" Kimura protested.

Okano nodded. "Even if he was forced to say that, that's just wrong."

Kataoka sat at her desk, staring at its surface. "It's true that Takebayashi's grades suddenly improved," she said, "but I think that's only because he was taught by Korosensei. If he forgot that, then I can't look at him the same way."

The more high-strung members of the class kept shouting, winding themselves up, while I calmly packed up my bag. As I slid open the door, about to step out of the classroom, Yada asked, "Nick? Where are you going?"

I turned to see her watching me. The rest of the class was looking my way too, even the ones that were just shouting. "Gotta chat with Karasuma," I said easily. "Need to figure out what the schedule is."

"What schedule?" Isogai asked.

My lips twitched upwards. "I'll be ducking out of Class E for a while. Gonna sit in on some A Class lectures."

They all stared at me in shock.

"So, I'm not sure if Karasuma wants me to sign a nondisclosure agreement, or what, so... yeah. See ya." I swung my backpack on my back and walked out, ignoring the renewed shouting as I left. I pointedly didn't look back. Kana wouldn't be happy with the path I've taken, but I had no choice left.

Karasuma wasn't exactly happy to see me go. "I can't say I understand _why_ you've been allowed to do this, but as it's temporary I'll be relying on your judgment," he said. "You understand you are never to disclose anything about the assassination, correct?"

I rolled my eyes and adjusted my glasses. "Yeah, yeah, got it boss man," I sighed. These Ministry agents are such a pain, sometimes. Though, to be fair, Mr. K's usually pretty cool. It's just that asshole Kikuoka I have a grudge against.

"Nick," he said suddenly as I turned to leave.

"Mm?"

"This _is_ temporary, isn't it?"

My lips twitched. "Well, we'll see. If it isn't, I suppose I'll be talking to you again."

He didn't say anything else as I walked out.

As I was leaving class for the day, I saw Takebayashi walking ahead of me. Class E looked like they were waiting in force by the edge of the campus.

I wasn't sure if I wanted to talk to them or not.

"Hey, Takebayashi!" Isogai called out.

Despite my better judgment, I wandered over to stand a small distance away. Enough that I could hear the conversation, not enough that I was going to be a part of it. My role, like always, was to be the bystander. As I approached E Class, Karma's eyes flicked towards me before they flashed with scorn and he turned back to Takebayashi.

That... hurt a surprising amount.

"Care to explain?" Isogai said when Takebayashi remained silent. "Why didn't you discuss this with us, Takebayashi?"

"There's a reason for this, right?" Okuda asked. "You helped out so much during our summer vacation trip! And we had fun together in the regular school year, too, right?" I disagree. He... didn't really contribute.

"Turns out," Karma said lazily, "depending on how we kill Korosensei, they might raise the ten billion reward even higher. I guess you don't need your share, then. That's okay, it means more for us. How noble of you to give it up."

"...One billion yen at best," Takebayashi said after a long silence, adjusting his glasses. E Class didn't seem to understand. "There's no way I'd be able to kill Korosensei on my own. Even if I helped kill him, the help I'd be able to provide... would be worth one billion yen at best. My family has been running a hospital for generations. A billion yen is something they could earn by working.

"It's a household with the motto, 'Naturally you succeeded'. Since I can't ever succeed, I'm not treated as part of the family. Even if I got my hands on a billion yen, they would never accept me. 'Good for you, the black sheep of the family had his life saved by luck,' they'd say, and that would be it." He pushed at the bridge of his glasses while the class stared at him silently. "Did you know, I was able to report my grades to my parents for the first time this year yesterday. I told them I had received good grades and could leave E Class.

"'You worked hard,' my father said. 'You were able to hang on by a thread.' Just to hear _those_ words, I had to push myself so hard." Kanzaki flinched at Takebayashi's words. "For me, the most important thing, even more than the end of the world, or ten billion yen, is being accepted by my family." He turned. "I know that I'm a traitor, and that I'm being ungrateful. I hope your assassination goes well."

As Takebayashi started walking away, Nagisa stepped forward. "Hold on, Takeba-"

But before he could get it out, Kanzaki grabbed his arm. "Don't, Nagisa," she said, smiling despite the pain and pity on her face. "Parent's chains... they bind you painfully and don't let go. So... don't try to pull him away by force."

I let my gaze sweep over E Class, feeling the weight of their eyes on me. Silently, I turned and kept walking. Nobody said anything. And why would they? _I_ was the traitor, here. I was the one that left. I deserved their scorn, really.

Didn't stop me from feeling the viper burn inside my chest.

The next day, I started on my path to go up the hill before I snorted and shook my head at my own stupidity. Normally, I'd be walking up that path, maybe running into Kayano or Nagisa on the way; Ritsu might be chatting happily to me, telling me about what she did over the night while we were away.

My phone was silent. I didn't know anyone on the walk to class 3-A.

The school building was much nicer than I was used to; the air conditioning worked, first of all, so it didn't feel like I was going to melt at any second in the heat. The lights in the tiled hallways actually worked, and I could see that the classes all had the newest desks and chairs just by walking by the rooms. Basically, almost every amenity conceivable was made available to the kids that worked hard and produced results.

When I walked into the classroom, the eyes of the students snapped to me and I had to fight down a reflexive flinch. Despite that, my fist clenched, hidden by the shadow of my body. _Kill them all,_ the viper whispered. And oh gods, how I wanted to.

"Ah, Weyr, you've arrived," Asano said, a small smile on his face. It was almost impressive; if I'd been anyone else, I would have missed the smugness lurking. "I'm so glad you decided to take me up on my offer to join Class A."

"To audit A Class, and see if it interested me," I corrected him. The other people in the class bristled, and a lazy smirk spread across my lips. "So far, I'm not very impressed. Anyway, where do I sit?"

Asano, to his credit, didn't rise to the bait and just showed me to my seat. Off to the side, Takebayashi was talking to a few of the students near his seat. "Are you ready for class, Takebayashi?" one said. "I'm sure E Class's teacher was accommodating, but Class A moves fast so don't fall behind."

Takebayashi just chuckled. "You're making me nervous."

"You were finally able to return to the front stage," Asano said. "I'm sure you'll do fine. It'll be tough, but let's work hard together, right?" he said with a smile so obviously fake even Takebayashi picked up on it.

"Thanks, Asano," he said, taking a seat as the bell rang.

I gave up trying to pay attention to the lecture about five minutes in to the math. Instead, I just casually pulled out a book and started reading, glancing up at the board every thirty seconds or so to keep up with what the teacher was writing. I noticed that Takebayashi had stopped taking notes and was just staring blankly at the board. A few of the A Class students were looking at him in concern, but quickly returned to their own notes.

I just rolled my eyes and glanced up at the board. This was an A Class lesson?

And they called themselves the chosen ones. Pathetic.

This wasn't even new material. We covered it back in the first semester in E Class. And the teacher wasn't even trying to break down the material, he was just talking into the blackboard and book, writing and erasing, writing and erasing. He didn't care about the students' comprehension of the lesson. This was, as far as I could tell, specifically designed to eliminate those who couldn't keep up.

I could smell the principal's fingerprints all over this teaching style, and my lip curled.

At least I'd get some reading done.

Finally, I was free from the torturous tedium that was A Class lessons, and closed my book. I'd finished the first one I brought and swapped them out during the lunch break; everyone else in the class had been busy studying, so I doubt they even noticed when I slipped out. Zero situational awareness. They'd be dead in hours, if not minutes in Aincrad.

I took my time packing up my materials, even if I didn't bother taking any notes past the morning's lecture. I had a feeling I'd be approached by someone fairly soon.

A Class was incredibly underwhelming. The students treated each other completely normally; even I, despite my clear lack of giving a fuck about the lesson, was treated as a 'classmate'. So long as you weren't in E Class, they'll treat you like a normal student instead of the gross gum on the bottom of their shoes.

But none of them had any chance to relax. The only ones who seemed capable of taking a break were the few capable students, like the Big Five. I could hear them making plans to throw a party at Stupid Haircut's home the next day, even as other A Class students ran out the door to go to supplemental lessons. Lessons that probably wouldn't be necessary if the teaching style wasn't shit.

I glanced out the window and, to my complete lack of surprise, saw a couple figures hiding in the nearby bushes. It was almost impressive; the E Class students surreptitiously watching over Takebayashi were putting Karasuma's latest camouflage technique to use to try to blend in. I shook my head and sighed. The only problem with their technique was that the leaves and bushes near E Class were completely different from the ones on the main campus, so the watchers stood out a lot. Also the giant black object that I could only assume was Korosensei. That was a little suspicious too.

Takebayashi seemed to notice them as well, though he just looked at the floor silently.

I knew Asano was moving towards Takebayashi before he even crossed my field of vision; the boy was hardly subtle. "How is it, Takebayashi?" he asked. "Have you gotten used to the class?"

Takebayashi jumped and stammered, "S-somewhat."

Asano nodded. "I know this is sudden, but the board chairman is asking to meet with you. You, the hero who overcame adversity... It seems you're needed."

Takebayashi nodded.

I was next on Asano's list of stops. "Nick," he said. At least he didn't have the gall to try smiling at me.

I mean, I wasn't giving him so much as a grin, but he didn't try to pretend to be nice to me. "What."

"After meeting with Takebayashi, the chairman would like to speak with you," he said.

I shrugged. "Sure, let's go meet with your dad." I smirked slightly at Asano's twitch. Daddy issues, huh? What fun.

I'd never actually been in the principal's office before, even if all I was doing was waiting in the adjoining room. At least I got to sit in a comfortable chair, for all of the five seconds before I slouched down and closed my eyes, letting out a yawn. Mmn, I'm exhausted. Not giving a shit all day really tires me out.

The aura of command startled me and I snapped an eye open, watching carefully as Principal Asano walked by me on the way to the office where Takebayashi and Asano the Younger were waiting. He glanced my way and gave me a perfunctory smile that we both knew was fake, and then pushed the door open. "My, I've kept you two waiting!" I heard him say just before the door closed.

I sighed and closed my eyes again, trying to let the tension bleed a little bit away. There was this pressure in the back of my neck, and no matter how many times I tried to crack my neck it just wouldn't go away.

It took about ten minutes for Takebayashi to be finished with his meeting. When he walked out of the office, he seemed pale and shaken. I wonder what the heck happened in there? Oh well. Probably nothing important that definitely won't impact my course of action in the recent future hahaha who am I kidding of course it will, this is all a play by the Asano Tag Team.

"Ah, Weyr," Principal Asano said almost casually as I took a seat in the office. "It's good of you to come."

"You asked, sir," I said with a shrug.

"Of course, of course," he said. "You are... second in the year, correct? Behind my own son, of course."

I raised an eyebrow. Yeah... I'm pretty sure every single person in this room knows that, guy, why are you repeating it for no reason?

"Now," Principal Asano said, folding his hands in front of him on his desk, "I'm sure you're wondering why I asked to meet with you. It's simple. Young Takebayashi has just agreed to be reborn as one of the strong. Now, I'm well aware of your little wager with my son."

Asano nodded. "Once Takebayashi gives his speech at the assembly celebrating Kunugigaoka's anniversary, asking to form the Management Committee, you'll be up next and letting everyone know you're joining A Class for good."

"Quite the coup," I said nonchalantly. "Snatching the two highest-scoring members from E Class, one of whom was only one point behind Asano himself. Why, if I didn't know better, I'd say you were almost afraid of E Class's capabilities, sir."

I held back the shiver as Principal Asano's eyes grew colder. I stared down the Gleam Eyes, bitch, you don't scare me. "But, since I'm very much fond of how things are right now," I said, "I wouldn't say that. Obviously. I'll give whatever speech is needed, don't worry."

The principal smiled, even though his eyes were cold and piercing. Heartless. "Excellent," he said, standing up and coming around the desk to rest a hand on my shoulder. "I'm glad you've chosen to embrace your path as one of the strong, Weyr. I foresee great things ahead of you. Do try to pay attention in class, though, hm? Your scores won't stay so high if you don't take notes."

My hands twitched as I felt the skittering of a centipede across my neck.

Gods, he's creepy.

I stood up once the principal left the room. Asano Junior was kind enough to wait for me, probably if only to keep an eye on me so that I didn't trash the place the instant I was left alone like some sort of shrieking howler-monkey.

...Damn, what a missed opportunity, because I would have done that just out of spite for the principal's attempt to intimidate me.

"Don't worry," I said as we left. "I wasn't going to smash all his neat little glass award thingies."

Asano snorted. "If you had, no matter _what_ happened you'd be out of A Class. I don't know the particulars, but some poor fool broke one of his trophies and was sent straight to E Class. The same fate is waiting for anyone that breaks any of the chairman's personal belongings."

I raised an eyebrow. "Including you, I'm guessing?"

"Of course," Asano said. "Like I told Takebayashi, even when dealing with his own son the chairman doesn't hold back."

"Ah," I said noncommittally before turning to leave. "Well, I'm off. That little assembly thing is tomorrow, right? I'll be there."

This might actually turn out to be fun after all.

The next day, the assembly was called and the gym filled up with people again. After a few perfunctory remarks, Takebayashi took the stage again, bowing lightly. I could feel the aura of tension in the air; the other students were shifting in place, looking up at Takebayashi without really knowing what was going to happen. As for me, I was standing in the wings with Asano, watching and waiting for my turn to speak.

Takebayashi bowed lightly and brought out a piece of paper that had to be his speech. I shifted weight, running my tongue across the edge of my teeth. Bloodlust... I can sense it coming from him. Something... Something important is about to be totally destroyed.

Beside me, Asano watched Takebayashi with a smug smile on his face. Whatever speech Takebayashi was going to give, whatever speech they'd prepared for him, I didn't know what it was going to be. He was definitely pleased with himself, though. My own smile widened in preparation.

While I didn't know what was going to happen, I knew how Class E worked.

"Please," Takebayashi said, "Listen to what I would like to do." Asano crossed his arms, clearly satisfied. "Class E was a class full of weak people. Because they lack what we call academic strength, they are discriminated against by everyone from the main building."

He spread his arms, a small smile pulling at his lips. "But for me, that Class E, is almost as comfortable to be in as a maid cafe."

I'm sorry fuck the what.

Comfortable as a what now?

The wave of confusion and surprise swept over the entire auditorium, audibly shocking the listening students. Asano had a particularly enjoyable visceral reaction, lunging forward and then just barely stopping himself from storming on stage, like he couldn't believe what he was hearing. Only practice at hiding my emotions behind a stoic mask kept me from showing the depths of my own surprise and confusion. I was able to keep it down to a single eyebrow raising as I folded my arms, watching to see where this was going to go.

"...I was lying," Takebayashi admitted. "Because I wanted to be strong. Because I wanted to be accepted. But, even though I was the most useless student in E Class and betrayed them on top of that, my classmates still came to see how I was doing, many times. My teacher tried every method and scheme possible to teach me, even for a student like me with no knack for studying. I, someone unaccepted by my family and everyone on this campus, was treated as an equal by everyone of Class E."

I could see the kids in E Class smiling at each other, even while the main campus brats stared on in horror at the blasphemy Takebayashi was spewing.

"All of you," Takebayashi said, "who are aiming to become strong and be accepted by society... I believe you are right, and respect you. But, for a little while longer, I'm fine with being weak. While bearing with weakness, and enjoying weakness," he said, "I will return to my life of aiming for the necks of the strong."

A comfortable chill ran down my spine. The bloodlust was amping up. Whatever was going to happen was happening soon.

"Have you lost it, you damn pawn?!" Asano growled, storming on stage. "Take it back and apologize, Takebayashi!" he snapped. "If you don't..."

He trailed off and I grinned. Takebayashi was calmly holding up a glass commemorative award, designating 'Gakuhou Asano' as the 'Best Educational Manager'. Hahaha...! I _thought_ something looked off about the weighting of those awards.

"I swiped this from the chairman's room," Takebayashi said. "It's like a shield which commends a private school's best manager." He reached into his shirt and pulled out a small wooden knife, a strip of metal supporting one side. "The chairman is truly a strong person," he said. "All his actions are rational."

With a loud shattering sound, Takebayashi swung down and smashed the award to bits.

The entire auditorium gasped, staring in horror.

Heh. He actually looks pretty cool right now.

"According to Asano," Takebayashi continued, "in the past, another student did this same thing, or something like it. Thinking rationally, based on precedent..."

He smiled as he turned away from the microphone. "I'd say it's off to Class E for me as well."

While the auditorium was stunned into silence, Takebayashi strode off stage. The only sound was his footsteps echoing through the air.

"Hold it."

Asano clapped a hand on Takebayashi's shoulder just as Takebayashi slipped behind the curtains. "There really is no saving you, is there?" he asked. "And here we went through all this trouble to give you the chance to become strong, like us."

"Strong?" Takebayashi asked, adjusting his glasses. "It just looked like a group of people who were scared. You, and everyone else."

Asano's eyes widened, and then he gritted his teeth in pure rage, choking back harsh words. Wow, there's failure, and then there's _that_. He just got destroyed.

As Takebayashi disappeared, the auditorium starting to chatter, I laughed. Instantly, Asano's rage was directed my way. "Wow!" I said with a grin and gleeful chuckle. "I mean, I didn't even have to say anything! You people fucked it up all by yourselves!"

With a jaunty wave, I turned to follow Takebayashi. "Guess I'm not gonna be giving a speech," I said. "I mean, unless you really _want_ me to make you people look even worse?" When he didn't reply, I grinned and slipped out the back.

* * *

The next morning, I slid open the door to E Class and stepped inside, heading to my desk like I hadn't taken the day... holy shit I was only in A Class for a day, but it felt like so much longer. The conversations going on between the others in the class went quiet; I was the last one to arrive. "Good morning, Nick," Ritsu greeted me, same as always. "How are you?"

"Mmmrghg."

"How were your lessons yesterday?"

"Bluhhhhhh."

Ritsu just giggled.

The rest of the class was just staring at me silently. I was trying my best not to shrink in on myself under their gaze, but it was hard. The silent scorn in their eyes was... It was hard to handle. It really shouldn't be, since I'd done shit like this before, but it was just harder to bear it for some reason.

"I think you owe us an explanation," Isogai said finally. My spine twitched a little bit, but I finished putting my bag away before turning to face them. "Like, why you ditched us for A Class."

"Alright," I croaked.

He blinked. "...That was easy."

I shrugged. "I can talk about now. Basically, Asano kept bugging me, so I told him fuck off. When he didn't, I told him find someone else and I'd be A Class as long as them. Couldn't tell E Class."

"Wait," Sugino said, "so that whole thing with Takebayashi was some weird mind game to get you in A Class?"

I shook my head. "Don't think so. Just target of opportunity. Principal Machiavelli would've probably still tried stunt if I wasn't here."

"Well, it was kind of a dick move," Maehara told me, "but you're back here, so it's all good. Welcome back to E Class."

I looked out at the class; most of them were smiling at me, though a few - Terasaka and Karma, really - were studiously pretending they didn't care. I took a seat, staring at the top of my desk. "...Thanks."

Later, the entire class was sitting on the exercise field in the back of the hill. "Beginning this second semester," Karasuma told us, "we will be including new elements to our assassinations. One of which will be explosives."

"E-Explosives?!" some of the class shouted. As for me, I was grinning wildly. I missed my Fire and Illusion magic from Alfheim.

"The power is very appealing from an assassination standpoint," Karasuma said, "but the dangerous way in which Terasaka and the others tried to use it is strictly forbidden."

I chuckled. Terasaka was staring blankly, while Nagisa just laughed weakly.

"So," Karasuma continued, "I want one of you to learn and remember every rule for the safe handling procedures of explosives." He dropped a stack of books on the ground, and I blinked. Holy shit that's a lot of books that are all _incredibly_ thick. "My permission and the supervision of that one person will be the conditions for using explosives. Now, who's willing to learn it?"

Nobody really wanted to, and to be fair I couldn't exactly blame them. That stack was taller that Karasuma's head. I'd offer to learn myself, but my role was in the planning stages rather than the implementation. Whoever took the job, I'd probably end up looking over the manuals myself, but I couldn't juggle two major responsibilities like that.

"This isn't the knowledge that would help with studies, but... well, even this might come in handy sooner or later."

Karasuma blinked as the books were taken from his hand. The students around me started grinning. After a second, Karasuma smiled faintly and tapped at his forehead. "Can you memorize it? Takebayashi?"

The boy pressed at the bridge of his glasses. "Yes," he said. "If I turn it into a parody of the second season's OP, I'll get it done right away."

...What? I don't get it. Maybe I missed something. Was that an inside joke?

* * *

 **OH MAN it has been ages since I wrote a 10k chapter and IT FEELS GOOD**

 **Anyway, we've moved on to Season 2 of the AssClass show and Book 2 of Nightblade IV. I think we all know where the third Book is going by this point, right? Right?**

 **As for the chapter, it's two parts. First, I had to accelerate some of the stuff going on with Irina and Karasuma, mainly because Nick doesn't get to see her inner thoughts and monologues, and two he doesn't really care all that much? He's more interested in eating food than watching Irina flail around trying to breach Wall Karasuma. The chat with Ritsu in the cave… I'm not 100% satisfied with it? It conveys what it needs to, but part of me feels like something's missing. But at the same time Nick doesn't really know what he needs to say, so it's in-character. Who knows, maybe in the future I'll figure it out, stealth-update the chapter, and then remove this chunk of the Author Rant.**

 **The second half of the chapter is the festival, also adapted from the first episode of Season 2. Nick is really too busy being mopey, so he doesn't get to enjoy the festival as much as he'd want. Really, though, he misses Kana. Poor guy. I don't like crowds at the best of times, and my experiences with this sort of thing (street, with food and games vendors) has been mostly consisting of 'okay yeah this is nice but I want to stop walking now'. In this case, it's a combination of being exhausted from not sleeping well, being lazy, and not having his girlfriend.**

 **The third half (yes i know but i don't feel like changing the other two paragraphs so deal) is something from the manga that better explains a few things mentioned in the next chapter. Plus it lets Takebayashi get a chapter, and let's face it, Asano would totally try to snatch Nick up before going with the second-ranked person in the class. Nick just did not give a shit about trying to outplay Asano in that one. 'But why that wager?' you might ask for whatever fucking reason. And I'd say, 'Think about what Nick's assuming.'**

 **Also, Nick's sleepy morning dialogue returns! He's getting better? This time he's just dropping entire words in his sentences, no big deal. The main reason Ritsu's super chill about him just showing back up is because she was keeping tabs on him thanks to his phone being still linked to her.**

 **(oh yeah this is the same general rules as the first Book in terms of spoilers and shit so yeah)**

 **Thanks for reading, people, and I hope you all enjoyed.**

 **(also if any of the author notes feels loopy or weird that's because i'm typing it up while totally exhausted from the stress of college. don't take four computer science classes in one semester, kids, friendly advice from knight)**


	2. Kaede Time

**Chapter 2: Kaede Time**

* * *

I sat in my seat, head propped up by one hand, and watched Kayano.

"I gathered you all here today," she said, "for a very important reason!" I yawned. Less because she was boring and more because I hadn't slept well last night. "Our nation's current egg surplus crisis!"

Glancing over the handouts she'd printed out and passed around, I scanned the article briefly. 'Undelivered Eggs To Be Discarded', 'A Poultry Farmer's Opinion', 'National Overproduction of Eggs'... Honestly, I don't really care? I mean, eggs were a vital part of my diet, being ninety percent of my breakfast sandwiches, but as long as I could still buy them from the store I didn't care. I guess if the supply spiked and the prices dropped, the sellers could get shafted, though... Meh, not my problem.

"Poultry farmers across the land are throwing out their excess in bulk!" Kayano said.

"Right," Isogai said. "I heard about that on the news. It's a real waste."

Kayano nodded. "It is. So I've drafted a proposal to salvage those eggs." She held up a notebook, and I squinted; I could just barely make out the words, even with my glasses, thanks to my nearsighted-ness. 'My Plan (Secret)'. "And assassinate Korosensei in a way that's almost guaranteed to be foolproof!" she chirped with a smile.

...Why does it feel like she's cheating on me with another tactician?

Also, I'm reminded of the age-old adage: nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently dedicated fool.

The class gasped in varying degrees of shock and comprehension. "We're killing him with surplus eggs?" Nakamura asked.

"What?" Terasaka scoffed. "You gonna make an omelet, throw in a couple of these babies?" he asked, tossing a handful of Anti-Korosensei BBs in the air and catching them. "Like he won't see that comin' from a mile away."

Kayano giggled. "I gave it a little bit more thought than that," she said, holding her notebook to her chest smugly. "In fact, my plan's already in motion," she said. I grumbled under my breath. Not even going to consult with the class tactician, alright then, have it your way, Kayano... "Thanks to Mr. Karasuma."

"Right, all the stuff you need's been set up outside," he said calmly, from where he was standing off to the side of the blackboard.

"Egg-sellent!" Kayano chirped. "Everybody, to the yard!"

...Egg-sellent?

God fucking damn - no. No, wait.

This means _war_ , Kayano. _War_. You will rue the day you have challenged me, for I will not rest until the entire class has surrendered, moaning and groaning in agony.

Out on the yard, a huge tarp was covering some massive mold. There were a bunch of trucks surrounding it, and I had no idea what any of it was for. It sure looked impressive, I guess, and by the gasps of surprise from the class they all agreed. "So we have a ton of eggs," Okuda said, "and a mold... Are we making-"

"Yep!" Kayano said proudly, turning to face us with hands planted on her hips. "It's exactly what you think! We're going to whip up a ginormous pudding! I give you... Operation Pudding Popper!"

She beamed proudly, and I raised my hand. "'Scuse me," I called out.

"Yes?"

"That operation name implies we'll be using explosives," I said. "Is that right?"

Kayano nodded. "You got it!"

I lowered my hand. I see. There's one thing I can say with more faith than anything in this world: this plan has no weaknesses. "Oh, okay. I figured, but just chicken to make sure."

There was a brief pause, then a soft groan from Nakamura as she got the crappy joke. "That was awful," she sighed.

Shrugging, I grinned. "By the way, Kayano, why did the chicken cross the road?"

"I dunno, why?"

I grinned. "To get to the idiot's house."

She blinked at me. "I don't get it."

"Don't worry, you will eventually."

"Operation Pudding Popper, huh?" Nagisa said. "Well, Korosensei does have a pretty serious sweet tooth."

"Bingo!" Kayano shouted, pointing at the boy. He took a step back automatically. Correct response to an insane person, although I think Kayano might be able to smell fear. "And the target's recent crucial confession," she said, placing her hand over her chest, "only confirms it!

"Just the other day we were eating pudding together and I said, 'You'd scarf down a mountain of these if you could!' and he replied, 'Oh, without question! What a dream come true it would be to gorge myself on a mountain of pudding! Too bad I don't have the funds to make it happen...' So!" Kayano said, eyes gleaming, "let's make that crazy dream a reality! ...And save some for ourselves, of course."

Nagisa laughed awkwardly.

"The idea is," Kayano continued, "to plant bombs and Anti-Sensei BBs into the giant pudding's base. When he eats his way to the bottom, we detonate!"

"This is starting to sound like it's worth a shot," Isogai said with a grin.

"I'm with you on that!" Okajima said. "Korosensei loses his marbles when it comes to anything sweet."

I shrugged. "Doesn't sound like all it's cracked up to be, but whatever, I'll help out. It's good to see you coming out of your shell, Kayano." Nakamura groaned again.

"And since Kayano's usually not that proactive," Takebayashi added, "there's the element of surprise. He won't be suspicious!"

Isogai nodded. "Alright, then," he said. "Let's wait until he's not around, and then make ourselves a giant pudding!"

"Yeah!" the class cheered.

This. This is my life now. I'm helping make a giant pudding with an explosive inside it so that I can kill my octopus teacher.

Somewhere along the line I either went very, _very_ wrong or very, _very_ right and for the life of me I can't figure out which.

Once we'd all gotten changed into our aprons, the tarps covering the giant mold were tugged away, revealing the massive see-through mold. Like, this thing is fucking gigantic... Fuck. "This equipment comes from an inactive line in a mayonnaise factory," Kayano told us. Mayo is one of those weird things that just exists. I don't want to know what goes into it, I don't want to know how it's made. The ideal situation with mayonnaise is that it just appears from thin air on the store shelves. "Once the eggs are prepped, they'll be going in here. Step one, crack! Step two, we do the mixing manually. It's a lot of work, but eyes on the prize."

I think it's worthwhile to realize that we're all standing in parade formation while Kayano is lecturing us on how we're making a giant pudding. I mean, I just can't seem to take this seriously.

"Step three," Kayano said, "add sugar and milk. Lots of it. Plus vanilla extract to add some flavor. Let's get to work, people!"

"Roger!" we called out, before splitting off into groups to do our jobs.

I was working with the hauling group, moving the supplies around to wherever they needed to go and retrieving requests. This meant I basically got to throw massive bags of sugar and flour around, and those things are fucking heavy when they're as big as these bags are. At least it's a good workout.

"Hey, Kaede?" I heard Kurahashi ask Kayano while I was busy hauling sugar for Sugaya. "I saw them try to make a giant pudding on TV once, but it didn't work. It weighed too much, totally collapsed. Just sayin'..."

"That thought occurred to me," Kayano said. "Which is why we're using gelatin and agar. Not common for pudding. The agar's fibers make it a great coagulant. Plus, did you know it has a significantly higher melting point than gelatin? Making it perfect for keeping our pudding firm in the September heat."

I dunno, I wouldn't exactly call September's temperatures 'heat'. Maybe just because I've had to deal with the Salamander territory and the inside of volcanos, but this was downright mild. Though, to be fair, anything that wasn't roughly absolute zero or 'standing next to literal lava' was mild to me. Fucking Thrymheim. Fucking Salamanders.

"Woah," Okano and Sugaya gasped. I dropped off the two bags I was holding and went off to resupply Hayami and Chiba, since they were starting to run low on flour.

Eventually, we had a few massive tubs full of the pudding. "Commence pouring in the first batch!" Kayano shouted. Switches on pumps were flipped, and the hoses started pouring in pudding. "That's the way!" Kayano cheered as Mimura and Okajima stood on top of the scaffolding surrounding the mold, keeping the hoses steady. "Once that's all in, swap in with team's second batch!"

She consulted her notes. "We'll increase the ratio of cream as we go up," she said, "ensuring firmness while making sure the lower layers don't bear too much weight." I glanced at her notes; there was a surprising level of thoroughness to her calculations, with percentages and suggested pouring times and everything.

"And..." Kataoka said as she approached, carrying a tray filled with colorful cubes, "what are these for?"

"Fruit sauce, and edible mousse wrappers to add the occasional burst of new flavor!" Kayano said, hefting one of the squishy cubes. I figured it was something like that, actually. If it looks like a fruit blob and smells like a fruit blob... "Vanilla is scrumptious and all, but think about it. Wouldn't you get sick of the same taste bite after bite in something so large?" No. "Sure you would!" Fine then, I would.

Pouring the pudding continued under Kayano's instructions until just after four in the afternoon, until it was finally finished. "Okay, that's great!" Kayano called out. "Once the mold's full, drop the lid on and let the whole thing chill. This isn't just any old pudding mold, either. The outer walls are fitted with pipes that have coolant circulating through them. Pretty neat, huh?"

I mean, I'm not sure, but wouldn't that end up with giant holes in the pudding once they were removed? Maybe? I don't know these things and really I don't care. I'm following orders right now. "How egg-citing," I mumbled. Nakamura threw her head back and groaned.

"A pudding with this much volume needs to be chilled through. We're talking inside and out!" Kayano said.

The class murmured in awe and surprise at Kayano's depth of knowledge regarding her snack food of choice. "Who in the world would have ever thought you could be an expert on giant pudding?" Isogai asked.

"She's got the engineering part down pat," Maehara agreed. " _And_ she knows how to make it taste great."

The sun was starting to set, so we broke to take a break and let the pudding chill overnight. We would reconvene in the morning and put the finishing touches on the assassination attempt. Seriously, though, if this works, I swear to gods...

Karma, Nagisa and I were standing at the hill, Kayano sitting down and staring at her massive construction project. "Nice work, Kayano," Karma drawled, walking up to stand beside her. "You really thought all this up after reading an article on the country's egg surplus?"

"Sorta," Kayano admitted. "Actually, I've wanted to try and do this for a while now. And since the Ministry of Defense was willing to shell out the money this time, I figured why not go for it?"

I huffed a small laugh. "That explains why I saw Karasuma staring at a bunch of papers in the staff room, head in his hands. They must be the bills. But this _is_ impressive."

Kayano smiled. "When my mind's fixed on something, I just keep rolling. I guess."

It's kinda neat to see Kayano giving this a shot, I think. Normally, she's one of the support-role players, standing in the back and helping out with whatever jobs need to be done while the tanks and DPS do their duty. Karma and I were some of the front-liners in the assassination of Korosensei, so the two of us didn't really see the helpers all that often even if I planned around their abilities. Seeing her take center stage was rare, I guess, but welcome. Anyone can get fired up about something they find passion in - like with Kazuto and his swords, or Shino and guns, or Sugu and training... - and looks like pudding, for whatever reason, is Kayano's little fixation.

"And another early day tomorrow," Kayano sighed, standing up and stretching.

I hate mornings, especially the ones recently. "We'll be here at the cockcrow, so we should get a good night's rest."

Somewhere, Nakamura just got incredibly irritated, and she probably wouldn't even know why. Heh.

The next morning, we all assembled on the exercise field bright and early. I'm mildly coherent in the morning, so I'm treating it as a win. I can follow instructions. I am capable of that. That is something I can do. According to Kayano, now we had to check the pudding's consistency. If it was solid enough, we could continue.

It was, fortunately. The coolant pipes were released with puffs of frigid air, falling to the ground, and the molds surrounding the pudding were loosened. Then, more hoses were attached to the holes in the mold left by the coolant. "Release internal lock!" Kayano shouted, and air was pumped into those holes.

With another hiss of cold air and steam, the mold separated from the pudding. After we hauled the forms away, we shored up the sides of the pudding with extra gelatin and agar. That way, the sides were firmer. Then, the caramel sauce was poured on top of the pudding; the top was introduced to my good friend fire by way of burners; and we were done.

We all stared at the massive pudding, wobbling in the morning wind. "We did it!" everyone shouted.

"Wow!" Sugino exclaimed. "That sure looks delicious!"

"You completely forget there's a bomb planted in there," Nakamura said. She was busy taking a selfie of the pudding, throwing up a V for victory sign.

The killer pudding was ready to be served.

After all the trucks and equipment were hauled away, Korosensei was brought back to see our handiwork. He stared at the massive pudding we made for him, drooling. "A-And... And... I'm allowed to eat this _entire_ thing?" he asked, pointing at the pudding and himself.

"Oh, uh, sure!" Kayano said, sounding hesitant. "I just didn't want those eggs going to some landfill!"

Nakamura said, "This is all Kayano's idea, you know." Kayano giggled lightly.

"You've made me so happy," Korosensei wept, holding Kayano's hands in his tentacles with tears pouring from his eyes.

"...We'd better be going," Nakamura said.

Isogai nodded. "Yeah, don't wanna be late for English."

"Now you've gotta promise to eat every last bite!" Kurahashi said with a cheerful smile. I'll give the kids this, at least, they're starting to be a little more believable when they're lying to Korosensei. It's still a little obvious, and they haven't _quite_ figured out the trick to believing their own lie while they're saying it, but they're miles ahead of where I was when I was their age.

"Not a problem!" Korosensei said, whipping around with two digging scoops clutched in his tentacles. "At last, my dream's come true! Thank you!" he shouted, launching himself towards the pudding with a blast of wind.

I watched Kayano; she hadn't moved, even after the rest of the class headed inside. We were supposed to be watching the explosion from the safe distance of inside the E Class building, right? I knew something was wrong, but my head was still fuzzy from early morning and I couldn't figure out just what was wrong with her. Isogai stopped and said something to her in a low voice, and whatever it was seemed to do the trick. Kayano tore her eyes away from the pudding being devoured from several places at once - Korosensei's speed was ridiculous - and headed up the hill with the rest of us.

"Wow, he's really getting after it," Sugino said. Takebayashi was monitoring the camera feed from the bomb, ready to detonate at the slightest glimpse of light.

"I have a feeling it won't be very long before he reaches the bottom," Okajima said.

"Don't worry," Takebayashi said. "I've installed a security camera onto the base to keep my eye on him. The second he reaches the bomb, we'll detonate it by remote control." Code would be better. Even Kazuto's reflexes weren't instantaneous, and with Korosensei's speed we needed as much time as we could get. "We'll know he's eaten his way towards it once the light starts pouring in."

Kayano stared at the computer screen, then outside where Korosensei was absolutely savaging the pudding. It was shaking and wobbling from what he was doing to it. "My pudding..." she murmured. "It'll be..." She trailed off, putting her hands on the window and staring out at the pudding. In seconds, she was lost in thought.

I wonder what she's thinking of.

"MY PUDDING!" she suddenly shrieked. She started banging her head against the window, tears in her eyes. "I can't let something I put my heart and soul into get blown into smithereens!" The banging got faster, even while some of the others tried to calm her down.

"Kayano, take it easy!" Sugino exclaimed.

Terasaka wrapped his arm around her neck and hauled her away from the window, the girl still flailing. Huh. Well, I knew he was strong, but that's all it took to pick up Kayano, huh? "It's a damn pudding!" he shouted. "Not the family pet! It's supposed to be blown into smithereens!"

"We can't!" Kayano wailed. "It should stand in the schoolyard forever as a monument!"

But, it's a dairy product. It'd rot.

Ew, gross.

"Whew!" Korosensei said, appearing behind us. I flinched, snapping my head towards him and then the computer. Still black. Shit. "My jaws need a break." The class gasped. "By the way, amid all the deliciousness, I caught a whiff of this." He held up a green block.

Double shit.

That's the explosive. In his other tentacles were a few wires. Well, at least he removed the detonators just to be safe.

"I ate a path from caramel to pudding, to dirt, and proceeded to tunnel from underneath to remove it," Korosensei said. Well, triple shit. This isn't fair. "Ahah..." he laughed, the bomb in his mouth. Takebayashi was shaking. "I ashume the bomb wash your handiwork, Takebayashi?" When the boy nodded, Korosensei threw his head back and crunched the explosive down. "Well, your calculations were spot on, and if I had not picked up on the distinct scent of plastic explosives your scheme might have very well worked." He swallowed and placed a tentacle on the boy's shoulders. "Next time, you'll account for strange odors, right?"

"Right..."

"Nue-heh-heh-heh-heh-heh," Korosensei laughed. "C'est la vie. But since you've all worked together to create this wonderful concoction, you should enjoy it together!" A sparkling platter of pudding was sitting on the podium at the front of the class. "I set aside a nice, clean portion for each of you!"

"So he gets the drop on us yet again," Maehara said with a grin.

Kanzaki looked his way. "And it was such a clever idea, too."

I poked at my own pudding glass, and smiled when I realized it was actually ice cream. Heh. Korosensei must have overheard one of my conversations with Kayano and remembered I didn't actually like pudding all that much.

Korosensei raised an egg. "Incidentally, consuming eggs headed for the landfill is, strictly speaking, a violation of sound economic principles." Why, because it means that the farmers are paid for their supply even though they've oversupplied, thus reinforcing the notion that they should continue supplying in excess regardless of the marketplace desire?

Hey, I read books. Just because I don't study that much doesn't mean I don't pay attention in class. "So," Korosensei continued, "we'll be exploring the complex role of a perishable goods surplus in our next Civics lesson."

"Yes sir," we all sighed.

Karma, Nagisa, Kayano and I were standing near the girl's desk, the window open. She was nearly sparkling with joy as she looked at her pudding glass. "Ah," she sighed.

"Kind of a shame, isn't it," Nagisa said. "I bet you're relieved, though." Kayano giggled. "Honestly, no offense, but I didn't think you had it in you to be so hardcore. It was cool to watch. A nice change of pace."

"Mmhm," Karma murmured through the spoon in his mouth.

Kayano smirked. "That's what it is, to be an assassin!" she said, pointing a finger at Korosensei. "Not even your close friends get to see your true blades." Korosensei looked over at her announcement, and chuckled before giving her a Correct ding and sign. "Oh yeah. There's more where that came from - I've got all kinds of jiggly weapons. Here, even a pudding expert can be a top-notch assassin."

True blades, huh. I guess that follows. I don't ever tell anyone about Future Step, or what I've been through.

"Oh, that reminds me," I said to Kayano. "Knock knock."

"Who's there?" she asked, blinking.

"The chicken."

A slow smirk spread across my lips as she blinked in confusion. From across the room, Nakamura swore at me. "Oh! I get it - hey! Nick, you jerk!" Kayano protested.

Heh. My victory in the wordplay battlefield is assured.

* * *

Unfortunately, we couldn't just make bizarrely complicated pudding-based assassination plans the entire time, we still had class to think about. For our gym class, Karasuma led us all out into the middle of the woods where we sat on the edge of a cliff, looking down into a valley. "For your second semester's practical training," Karasuma said as we all looked at him, "we'll be moving on from explosives to your next foundation. Parkour."

"Par...kour?" Nakamura said hesitantly.

For my part, my eyes were wide and I was grinning madly.

Yes. Fuck yes. Not just fuck yes, but fuck the hell yes. Oh my gods this was about to be _amazing_.

"For example," Karasuma said, "let's say you were to go to that lone pine tree over there." He pointed to a brave little tree that was doing its best to survive on a little crag of a rock. It was down the cliff, across the tiny river, and up the other cliff. "Mimura. How would you do it, and how many seconds would it take? An estimate is fine."

"U-um," Mimura said, looking down the steep cliff. "I'd crawl down the cliff. Jump over the stream at the narrow point, go around the brush, and then climb up the rock... About a minute sounds pretty good, I'd say." Kimura nodded in agreement.

Karasuma just smirked before loosening his tie and tossing a small stopwatch to Mimura. "Okay, I'll try going. Time me."

"This," he said, turning to face us and standing on the very edge of the rock, "is the application of the athletics and rock climbing training from the first semester. What parkour cultivates is the ability to gauge your physical strength. These techniques are the ability to measure the distance and the degree of danger of the footing in front of you."

C'mon Mr. K, let's do this already, stop with the words and start with the moves.

"If you can do _this_ , any location becomes a field possible for assassination."

Then Karasuma toppled backwards, still facing us. We all raced to the edge of the cliff.

Karasuma flipped in midair, landing on the ground feet first and immediately crumpling to fall back and push himself into a roll. With a grunt and a surge of effort, he ran _along_ the rock wall of the stream, boot tapping the stone only twice before he jumped off and spun in midair, landing neatly on the other side of the stream before jumping again.

Everyone else in E Class was staring in total shock.

Karasuma's lunge brought him to the lower branch of the for about an instant before he shifted to the next branch and launched forward. He all but bounced off of the cliff faces, rebounding twice before snatching a branch of the pine tree and finally coming to a halt.

"What's the time?" he called out, dangling by one hand.

"T...Ten seconds," Mimura said, staring at the stopwatch with a shaking hand.

I am practically vibrating in place and I do not give a godsdamn.

"A technique to move down a path that doesn't exist," Karasuma said, brushing himself off. "If you train and master this, it would even be possible to travel from building to building on foot."

"W-wow," Okano gasped."

Muramatsu pointed at the kinda distant figure of Karasuma. "Wouldn't it be awesome if we could do that?"

"However," Karasuma warned us, dropping down, "this is the same as explosives. If you attempt a high-level technique as a beginner, it could result in injury... or worse." Message received, sir. Don't do stupid stuff without practicing. "The ground on this back mountain is soft and a place to train," he said. "Trying this in a dangerous area or outside this back mountain, or using techniques other than the ones I teach is strictly forbidden. Got it?"

"Got it!" we all called back.

"Now," he said, leading us to a flat area of ground, "we'll begin with the basic rolls..."

Let's go, let's go, let's go! One of my favorite things to do in Alfheim was throwing myself through the trees, using the environment as just another way to move around. If I could approach even a tenth of what I could do there, even without my wings... Hell yes.

The next morning, I found myself watching in muted confusion as Korosensei wandered the front of the class. Part of my confusion was general disorientation from the minor throbbing pain aching through my body, but I was kinda used to it by this point thanks to the rough training Karasuma put me through every day.

The majority of the confusion, obviously, was Korosensei.

"Man," Fuwa sighed as she stepped through the door - a little late, I think. "I can't believe that he just ended the story, though. At least he's writing a new -"

 _Snap._

"Huh?" she asked, staring at the handcuffs around her wrist.

"Well, well, well, a tardy student," Korosensei said, blowing a gum bubble. "You're under arrest."

Our teacher had traded in his usual outfit for a police costume, complete with a star-shaped badge on his cap and shades that were somehow staying on his face despite, well, despite him being an octopus. He'd been acting like a beat cop all morning, even before I got to class myself.

It was too early in the morning for this shit... "What are you doing, Korosensei?" Kimura asked. "What's with the dirty cop look so early in the morning?"

"Nue-heh-heh-heh-heh-heh," Korosensei laughed before retrieving his handcuffs from Fuwa and spinning them around. "It seems you've all been doing some parkour lately. Since you've gone through so much trouble, why not play a game that uses the skills you've been practicing?"

"A game? Peh," Terasaka grunted. "It's probably just some lame -"

"It's cops and robbers!" Korosensei shouted. "A three-dimensional game of tag using the entire back mountain!"

"Cops and... robbers?" Nagisa asked.

"I say robbers and cops," Nakamura said idly.

Mimura shrugged. "I say cops and robbers." Eh, I'm pretty sure the phrase is commutative, so anything goes.

"You all will be the dastardly robbers!" Korosensei told us. "Using the techniques you've learned, you'll be fleeing from the long arm of the law. Who, coincidentally, will be myself and Mr. Karasuma."

"What?" our P.E. teacher growled. I don't think he particularly appreciated being volunteered.

"In the event we can't tag everyone within the first hour," Korosensei continued, "I will be using Mr. Karasuma's wallet to buy everyone cake."

"Hey!" Karasuma snapped.

Hey, I'm fuckin' sold. Free food? I'd probably kill a man for that.

"On the other hand," Korosensei said, raising his other tentacle, "if everyone is caught, your homework will be doubled!"

Um.

"Hold on a second!" the class raged. "How are we supposed to run from you for an hour?!"

Korosensei simply folded his arms in the face of our wrath. "No need to worry about that," he said. "At the beginning, Mr. Karasuma will be the only one on the chase. I will be staying within the boundaries of the jail in the schoolyard. I will only move out in the last minute."

"I see," Yada said thoughtfully. "Then maybe we can pull it off somehow..."

"Alright, let's give it a shot, you guys!" Isogai said. The class cheered and shouted in agreement.

I folded my arms and sat back. Something seemed... off. Like we were overlooking something. But the class was starting to file out the back, and I was sleepy, and my brain wasn't functioning properly this early. Shaking my head, I just marked it down as my mind being perfectly aware of what a stupid idea this was - I trained with Karasuma, I had a rough idea of his basic abilities - and my subconscious was telling me I was a fucking idiot for doing this.

Oh, whatever. Let's just do this shit. Let's be about it and make it happen.

My blood sang with exhilaration as I threw myself forward, skipping off the nearest rock to swing into the trees. I grinned before jumping forward, briefly using another tree as a skipping-stone before hitting the ground and rolling neatly, taking a few steps before jumping to the next tree.

Gods I missed being able to do this.

"Hey, slow down, Nick," Sugino said with a laugh. "Wait for the rest of us, huh?"

"Sorry, sorry," I said. "Just... I missed stuff like this." When he looked at me a little strangely, I just shrugged and inwardly swore at myself. They were used to me saying bizarre things by this point, though, so even if I was an idiot and said suspicious stuff about Alfheim they'd probably just let it slide off their backs.

"Hey!" Kayano called. "How'd you guys get up there?"

Sugino grinned. "Did you forget Mr. K taught us how to walk the trees?" With an easy smile, he crouched down on the rock he'd perched on, a few steps behind me. "This is really bringing back old memories!"

"I'm gonna go search for other groups," I said with a little wave. "I think Fuwa et al's squad is nearby, so... see ya!" Without really waiting for them to reply, I dashed off through the trees.

With my wings this would be perfect, but... I was having fun! Karasuma and Korosensei, together, were amazing; Karasuma knew how to train us without letting us get bored, and Korosensei always came up with little games that were, while at times childish and frustrating, still pretty fun.

I was honestly one of the best students when it came to the parkour we were learning, so I was able to ghost through the trees pretty easily. I refused to touch the ground as much as possible, only doing so when it was definitely necessary, even if it meant taking a slightly longer route. As a result, I ended up watching from a little higher up as Okajima, Fuwa, Hayami, and Chiba clambered through the forest.

"Yeah, Mr. Karasuma'll catch up with us eventually," Okajima was saying, "buuut it's a big mountain."

"And there's a time limit, so at - best he'll tag maybe two or three of us, tops," Fuwa said, her breath hitching when she landed from a jump.

Hayami nodded. "Yeah, if even that many."

Chiba swung down and landed heavily. "No kidding."

I was about to swing down and say hello when I heard a rustling through the woods, and I froze. Humans never looked up. I would be fine so long as I didn't move didn't breathe didn't flinch at all from the fast-moving streak of camouflage that was darting towards the four running students.

It happened so quickly; one moment they were running, and then in quick succession four slaps echoed out through the forest. They stumbled to a halt, and Karasuma landed smoothly on a rock. "You're under arrest," he said, raising a gloved hand. It was covered in red paint. "Caught you red-handed."

Holy shit.

"Okajima, Hayami, Chiba, Fuwa... You're out!" Ritsu chirped from my phone, giving me a perky salute when I glanced at it.

Her voice was incredibly loud.

When I looked down at Karasuma again, he was staring straight at me.

"Oh Ritsu you bitch!" I exclaimed, jumping and running through the trees.

I survived longer than the others. It took Karasuma almost five minutes to catch me, since I was running full-speed through the woods. But, eventually, he was just faster than me and I finally succumbed to the red-painted hand-print on my back. "Well done," he told me, nodding once before running off and disappearing through the forest.

"Fuck," I sighed.

"Nick - captured!" Ritsu said with a giggle.

"Oh, like this isn't a hundred percent your fault," I groused to her as I ran back to the jail. "You totally gave away my position to Karasuma." Ritsu just giggled again, not even bothering with an excuse. She knew I wasn't really mad - my wide smile gave it away.

In the end, we ended up sitting in jail, but that wasn't everything. "Dude, I'm telling you, don't get caught," Okajima said into his phone while Korosensei laughed in the back. I think he was talking to Sugaya. "He's making us do worksheets, it sucks." I'd already finished mine, and I was taking the chance to relax from the insane run Karasuma had put me through.

"This isn't some battle manga," Sugaya's voice said; I was close enough to hear him, since Okajima had put his phone on speaker. "Seriously, how'd you not know he was on your tail until he tagged you?"

"Look, just be careful," Okajima said. "He's like a ninja. For all you know, he's right there."

Suddenly, a loud scream echoed from the phone. "Sugaya? Sugayaaaa!" Okajima shouted, but his only response was a dial-tone.

"Another one bites the dust," I sang softly. "And another one gone and another one gone, another one bites the dust."

Unfortunately, I didn't have Killer Queen on my side or this would be a _lot_ easier to kill Korosensei.

My phone chimed again and I looked down. Ritsu was holding a tiny pistol and winking at us. "Sugaya, Professor Bitch, you're out," she announced.

I glanced down at my feet, where the chalk line formed a ring around the jail. This was Cops and Robbers, so theoretically one of the other students could come and... tag... us out...

Aw, shit.

He said he wouldn't move from in front of the jail cell until the very last minute.

I looked up at Korosensei; the octopus was laughing menacingly, rapping his baton against his tentacles while he blew a bubble of gum. There's no way anyone'd be able to slip under his radar and tag us without his noticing. If we could do that, he would have been killed a long time ago.

Well, this is gonna suck.

Okajima looked over suddenly and I followed his gaze to see Sugino waving his arms frantically, signing at us. 'Do something to Korosensei'... Suddenly Okajima clapped a fist in his palm. Silently, he tapped Korosensei's shoulder and then turned away, hiding his face. When Korosensei looked over, the boy was... offering him images of large-breasted women in swimsuits.

Really, at this point I'm not even surprised that Okajima is carrying those around.

Korosensei slid the images into his pocket and then turned his back, waving his tentacle. Okajima waved to Sugino frantically.

Korocop's Scandal Number One: Bribery.

In an instant, all of us were set free by a quick-passing group of Sugino and Nagisa. Heck yeah, I'm back in the game!

"Six prisoners free," Ritsu said, looking disheveled.

I just laughed, running into the woods. He's taking bribes like every other public official, I'm really not surprised by this point.

I was only in the woods for a minute before Karasuma jumped out and landed in front of me, hot on the heels of Yada and Kimura. I just skidded to a halt and rolled my eyes. "Alright, now this is bullcrap," I muttered as Karasuma tagged me before racing off in pursuit. "Ugh. He wasn't even _after_ me."

Still, rules were rules. I was back in jail, Yada, Kimura, Hara and Takebayashi joining me shortly. "Sorry, Nick," Kimura said. "Didn't mean to get you caught too."

"Whatever," I sighed.

A breeze kicked up, and Yada grinned at us and winked before adopting a pitiful expression. "Actually, Korosensei," she said, "my little brother's come down with a rare illness. Poor guy's been bed-ridden for weeks! When I told him what we're playing, he texted back, 'Win one for me!'" She even had the crocodile tears down pat. "If he finds out I was captured, the shock might be too much-!"

"Go," Korosensei said. "This cop never saw anything. So go."

"Thank you sir, you're the best!" Yada shouted as we all sprinted away. Professor Bitch, meanwhile, was... I think asleep on the ground. Huh.

Korocop's Scandal Number Two: Naivety.

"Five more prisoners free," Ritsu said.

Racing through the forest, Ritsu told me, "Nick, you should listen to this!"

The nice thing about Mobile Ritsu being on all of our phones meant that anyone with Mobile Ritsu could listen in on phone calls. In this case, it was Karasuma and Korosensei. "Karasuma! Come in, Karasuma," Korosensei shouted, sounding like a police commissioner more than a beat cop. "Do you copy? How in the world are these inmates breaking out of my prison?!"

"That's my line, you moron!" Karasuma shouted back.

Hee hee hee... This was good. "Alright, I forgive you for getting me caught," I said to Ritsu with a smile.

Other players kept getting captured, and every time they got away thanks to bribery and Korosensei's shocking level of slacking off. "Where's that stupid octopus?!" Karasuma shouted. "Get out here!" I could hear him through the entire mountain.

As the game progressed, Korosensei gave us small tips on how to avoid Karasuma's tracking. He'd been tracking the traces everyone was leaving behind. The footprints and disturbances in the plant life... So long as we implemented the basics of parkour, even avoiding dangerous moves, our pursuer would have an extremely difficult time.

We split up into small groups; four and five-man cells to patrol in every direction. We were good at keeping alert, making it almost impossible for Karasuma to capture them entirely on his own. Even if he was capturing people - Nakamura, Sugaya, Yada - we'd be fine if he was on his own. We'd learned well.

Still, Karasuma wasn't our only issue. "Hey, people," I said easily on the group call. "So, here's an idea on how to deal with Korosensei..."

When there was only ten minutes left, five of us went to challenge Karasuma. Myself, Kimura, Okano, Maehara, and Kataoka - the five of us with the best talents in mobility.

Karasuma burst through the brush and hesitated, staring at us. Okano was perched on the nearby branch, while the other three were waiting on the grassy ledge above Karasuma. I was on a branch opposite Okano, arms folded.

Our teacher smirked. "The cliff ahead on the left is dangerous, so don't enter that area. Other than that, this fight is on."

"Roger!" we all shouted, sprinting away.

One by one, the others were all tagged out. Karasuma's speed was dangerous, and we couldn't escape from him while he's serious.

"Just me, I guess," I panted when Ritsu reported the capture of my four partners. "Well... Let's have some fun!"

I was exhausted from running for almost an hour straight. But this was nothing compared to what I could do in Alfheim, and I wasn't going to just give up. Branches and trees flew by, my body never slowing for more than an instant. I rolled and jumped, swinging through the trees in a crude mimicry of what I could do with my wings. I'd _trained_ doing this, racing through forests and trees like they were regular paths. I didn't even have to worry about monsters trying to kill me, this time, so this was incredibly relaxing in comparison.

With a rustle of tree branches, Karasuma landed in front of me and reached out. I wasn't going to escape upright so I laughed breathlessly as I hit the ground and slid past him – but he quickly tagged my back as I scrambled to my feet. "Guess that's it," I panted as he pulled out his phone, the rest of the squad catching up and panting. "That's game, then."

"You ran pretty far," Karasuma said. "Impressive. But soon there'll only be one minute left. Once the octopus moves, the cops and robbers game will end with your loss."

I laughed through my panting breaths, and Maehara said, "Sorry, but it's our win, Mr. K."

"What?" he asked.

"You don't fly through the sky with Korosensei, do you, Mr. K?" Okano asked.

"Of course not," Karasuma snorted. "If I were ever in that position, I would've stabbed him."

Kataoka grinned. "Then, Mr. Karasuma," she said, "you can't get back to the pool from here within a minute, can you?"

Kimura just pointed to the top of the mountain, way off in the distance. Even a superhuman like Karasuma couldn't make that run in the minute and a half left in the game.

We'd deliberately run in the opposite direction from the pool to lure him away.

Karasuma's eyes widened in realization. "Damn it!" he snapped.

"Heh..." I coughed, straightening up. "Like I said. That's game."

We just needed Karma, Sugino, and Nagisa to hold their breath for a minute underwater, and Korosensei couldn't touch them.

That last minute was spent catching our breath, and eventually Ritsu blew a shrill whistle. "Time's up!" she announced, and Karasuma grunted under his breath. "Game over! It's the robber's victory!"

Yep, things went well - and we all got cake! Heck yeah. The second term was off to a promising start.

* * *

That evening, I received a message from Nagisa telling me to take a look at the image he sent. "What's he... Oh, for fuck's sake," I sighed, reading the magazine clip he'd sent me. " _Really_?"

The next morning, everybody had seen it. 'Repeated Occurrence of Underwear Theft in the City of Kunugigaoka', the headline read. Naturally that was suspicious by itself, but the article went on to mention the bizarre 'nue-heh-heh-heh-heh-heh' laughter, and the thefts were restricted to F-cup and above. The culprit is a large man, with a yellow head, and leaves a mysterious goo behind at the crime scene.

Gods damn it Korosensei, you idiot. Why would you leave evidence?

Outside the classroom, I heard Korosensei approaching. "How wonderful it is to see their shining faces look up at me with such-" He slid open the door. "-unbridled disgust?!" he shrieked.

Everyone in the class was staring at him, disgust and disdain clear in our eyes. Kataoka was even holding her nose.

We showed him all the magazine articles, and Korosensei was shaking in place by the time he finished reading them all. "They're totally talking about you, aren't they?" Okano said.

"How can you do that stuff?" Mimura asked.

Kataoka folded her arms. "We're very disappointed in you, sir."

"No, wait! I'm innocent!" Korosensei protested. I exchanged a glance with Karma, and he shrugged. "I don't even know anything about this!"

"So, have an alibi?" Hayami asked, leaning coolly against the blackboard.

He looked at her. "A do what now?"

Hayami stared at him levelly. "Where were you on the evenings of the incidents in question? And can anybody back you up?"

"Let me see," Korosensei said. "I was vigorously shaking a bag of seasoned fries, alternating between an altitude of ten thousands meters and three thousand meters respectively."

"Objection!" I shouted.

"Yes, Nick?"

I shook my head. "No, I've just always wanted to shout that," I admitted. "Just... took the chance to scratch it off my bucket list. But yeah, nobody can verify that alibi, sir. Try again."

"That's enough, guys," Isogai said. "Come on, he's not a perv. He's done some creepy things, sure, but even if you add them all together, what have you really got?" Maybe Isogai has a point. "He's read dirty magazines, been bribed with dirty pictures... stared intently at pinups during recess... spammed lingerie companies with requests to let him give their models a tentacle bra..."

Isogai turned his back on Korosensei and shuddered. "Korosensei, just turn yourself in."

"Et tu Isogai?!" Korosensei shrieked. Stand still, do not fly, ambition's wages are paid. "This is an outrage!" he exclaimed, flailing his tentacles wildly. "Don't you believe me? Very well, to the Teacher's Lounge! I'll show you what kind of upright citizen I can be!"

I shook my head with a grin. Oh boy, this is gonna be good.

Most of us followed him back to the lounge, where he marched over to the desk and opened the top drawer. "Behold! My pinup stash." Seriously, should he be showing these things to minors? And _holy shit_ , that desk drawer is completely full.

I don't understand any of this, really. It confuses me.

"I'll toss every last one of them!" Korosensei declared, digging through the magazines and tossing them aside. "Without so much as a twinge of reservation!"

Suddenly he froze, slowly lifting a purple bra from the drawer. The class gasped. I just sighed, pressing at my forehead with my knuckles. "You're kidding," Terasaka said flatly.

"Oh my god, guys!" Okano exclaimed, pushing to the front of the circle around the frozen Korosensei. "Check out the roll book!"

She opened it and there, displayed proudly, was a listing of every female student's cup size. Yada, E; Fuwa, B; so on and so forth. "He put letters next to all the girls' names! Korosensei knows our cup sizes," Okano said.

I snickered when I saw the mark next to Kayano. 'Forever Flat'. Ouch.

"Huh?!" Kayano snapped when _she_ saw it. "What the hell is Forever Flat supposed to mean, you eight-armed two-bit emoji-faced cow?!" Wow. I blinked, staring at the flailing girl only being restrained by Okuda doing her best. Well, now I know the best way to kill Korosensei - tell Kayano he called her flat, and then watch while she tracks him to the end of the Earth and extracts her pound of flesh with nothing but her bare hands.

As she waved the roll book around, another slip of paper fell out and Maehara snatched it out of the air. "What about this?" he muttered, looking at it. "A breakdown of all the girls in Kunugigaoka with an F cup or above?"

"Wait!" Korosensei protested. "I... That can't possibly..." The class stared at him flatly. "Ah hah hah... You know what we need?" he said suddenly, placing a cooler on his desk. "A good old-fashioned afterschool barbecue, doesn't that sound like fun? Here, get a load of these succulent skewers I threw together!"

Oh, he raised skewers, all right. But that wasn't meat he was skewering. Instead, each of the skewers was, well, a different color bra. I just sighed and shook my head. I glanced at Karma, raising an eyebrow and he nodded briefly. Seems like he's following my train of thought on this.

"Wow," Sugino said flatly. Next to him, Kanzaki was forced to look away from our disgraced teacher.

"This is nauseating," Kataoka said.

Okano looked away. "Gross," she muttered. Hayami's jaw was tight.

The rest of the school day was incredibly tense. Korosensei was shell-shocked, staring at nothing and stumbling over the lesson plan. To be fair, nobody was really paying him any attention, too focused on the fiasco this morning. When the bell finally rang, nobody even so much as got out of their seat. "Tha... That's all for today, b-boys and girls... I, uh, I'll see you tomorrow." The octopus slithered out of the room, a deafening silence his only response.

Like, holy shit, that was really brutal this morning. I mean, gods _damn_.

"Haha!" Karma laughed brightly once Korosensei was out of the room. Beside him, I leaned back and stretched. "We certainly put the octopus through the ringer, didn't we? Heh. Some people just can't take the heat."

"Is he stealing underwear?" Nagisa asked, standing up. "That'd be pretty serious. I mean, we're talking an actual crime."

"Pfeh," I snorted. "Please. On a seriousness scale of one to 'blowing up the Earth', this ranks about a three, maybe three and a half. Don't tell me any of you people actually _believed_ he did that, right?"

Karma grinned lazily. "I don't know what I'd do with super speed, but I can tell you one thing. If I stole underwear, I sure as hell wouldn't be sloppy enough to leave evidence behind." With a chuckle he tossed a basketball to Nagisa.

Whoever was trying to frame Korosensei had strapped a bra around it. Really? Have _some_ class, anonymous underwear-stealing culprit.

"Karma and I found that in the equipment shed when we were snooping around," I sighed. "I mean, c'mon. This is the teacher that routinely saves our lives and teaches us how to be good students. Being a teacher is _everything_ to the octopus, and he has to know that if he got caught doing this, he'd lose us forever. He'd be dead to us."

"Between losing our respect and being assassinated," Karma said, "we all know which of those things he'd go more out of his way to avoid."

"Yeah," Nagisa said with a smile. Looks kinda weird when you smile like that while holding a bra-sketball. ...Basket-bra? Eh. I'll workshop it. "Have to agree with you."

Kayano stood up. "Then who's the sicko doing all this stuff?"

"An imposter," Fuwa declared.

"Fuwa?"

"That color," she said. "That laugh. We're dealing with an archetype. A fake sensei!" She burst to her feet. "The double! The doppelganger! Oldest supervillain trope in the book!"

I blinked. "Well, while Fuwa's coming back down to Earth, I just wanna say that whoever did this knows Korosensei inside and out, _and_ has access to our campus."

"Exactly, Nick!" Fuwa said, pointing at me. "I knew I kept you as my Watson for a reason."

"...Thanks?" I'm her what now?

"Ritsu!" she ordered. "Time to play detective!"

Ritsu blinked, then fuzzed her avatar briefly. When it cleared up again, she was wearing a Sherlock Holmes outfit complete with magnifying glass and pipe. "Yes!" she said with a jaunty salute.

"Something along those lines," Karma said, standing up from his chair. "As for what's in it for the real culprit, your guess is as good as mine. But we've gotta put a stop to 'im." He leaned an elbow on Terasaka's shoulder, the other boy looking less than thrilled. "If the rumor mill runs Korosensei out of town, there goes our bounty! And then what's all this been for? We'll lose our shot at this!

"If, on the other hand, we catch the real guy ourselves, Teach will be in our debt," he said.

"Yeah!" Fuwa, Nagisa, and Ritsu cheered.

Kayano growled, eyes flashing menacingly. "Forever Flat," she muttered, making wringing motions with her hands.

I think that means she's in?

That night, we put our plan into action. With a grunt, I hopped the brick wall that surrounded the apartment complex, and knelt with the others behind the car. It was just the six of us from earlier; we didn't want too many people or we'd risk scaring off the actual culprit.

"Hah!" Fuwa crowed quietly. "Justice _will_ prevail now that the great and very mature detective is on the case."

I rolled my eyes but grinned. Oh, my classmates were definitely something, alright, but I wouldn't call Fuwa a great and very mature detective just yet. "You say on the case," Nagisa said with a smile, "I say exploiting our parkour skills to trespass."

I shrugged. "If we aren't breaking the law, we're not doing it right."

"Hey, remind me again," Terasaka said. "Of all the places in town, what makes us so sure the creeper's gonna strike here next?"

Fuwa turned back to the rest of us while Karma kept watch. "First off," she said, "this place is a camp for pro entertainers. The cincher, though? A phenomenally popular bazonga-licious girl group has been staying here for the past couple of weeks."

"Right," Ritsu said, Fuwa holding up her phone so the AI could talk to us. "And based on the suspect's profile, the probability that he'll show is 99.78 percent!"

I shook my head and snapped my fingers in disappointment. "Damn, never _can_ get those nice, easy hundred percent probabilities," I muttered.

"Indeed," Fuwa continued, masterfully ignoring my commentary, "because camp's over after tomorrow. And no way is our man gonna let these top-tier trophies slip through his fingers!"

"Uh huh," Terasaka said quietly.

Really, the reasoning behind our presence here tonight was interesting, but not very important. So long as we guess correctly, it doesn't really matter, even if figuring it out is half the fun.

And it looked like our resident super-creature was supporting our findings. "Korosensei," Nagisa hissed. The teacher was, in fact, crouched behind some bushes a little bit to our left. He was wearing some ridiculous ninja outfit with dark sunglasses. "Okay," Nagisa sighed, "please tell me he's here to nab the bad guy too."

"That getup ain't exactly helpin' me presume his innocence," Terasaka muttered.

"Look!" Fuwa said. "He's so pissed off at the real criminal, just _looking_ at all that underwear gets him steamed."

I snorted. "Uh huh, yeah, _that's_ why he's steaming."

"Wrongfully accused my ass," Terasaka growled.

Bushes rustled again, and this time it wasn't from either us or Korosensei's movements. "Head's up," Karma said.

"He's here!" Kayano exclaimed.

The man in question poked his head out of the bushes to check if the coast was clear, giving me a great view of the disguise. A big man, check. A yellow head, check - he was wearing a yellow bike helmet with white stripes painted on the top to mimic Korosensei's omnipresent smile.

"Look at him move!" Terasaka said as the impostor dashed between the clotheslines, snagging the bras almost instantly. "That ain't normal."

"Uh oh!" Kayano exclaimed. "He's getting away!"

The man was making a break for the other wall when he suddenly fell flat on his face. "Got you!" Korosensei shouted, appearing on top of the man with a blast of wind. "How _dare_ you impersonate me and act out my lurid fantasies?!"

Oh, gods _damn_ it Korosensei, we're trying to give you the benefit of the doubt, stop digging yourself into a deeper hole.

"Well, so long as everyone things I'm pilfering unmentionables," Korosensei said as the man started to crawl away, the octopus still clinging on top of him, "I might as well take yours! Hahaha!"

Ew.

"I dunno," Nagisa said as we all stood up from our hiding spot. "I think this might make him _worse_ than an underwear thief."

"Hey," Karma said, "the eyewitness reports were right about his head."

Korosensei ripped the helmet off our culprit's head. "Now, let's see your true face, impostor!" The helmet went sailing through the air and clattered on the ground.

When the man lowered his hand, I blinked. Wait, that was Government Stooge Alpha, or was it Beta? I'm not sure. He was one of Karasuma's guys, right? So what the hells was he doing here? I know that Karasuma would never sign off on an operation like this.

Seriously, what the fuck is going on with the Ministry of Defense? This is like the second time one of their boys is doing something incredibly dumb.

"Hang on," Kayano said, "isn't that guy... Mr. Karasuma's underling?"

Okay, but no, really, that was probably a bad sign. This guy's just an underling, so that meant the real mastermind was someone else.

"You?" Korosensei asked, staring at the trembling Stooge Alpha. And if that was the case, then whoever was pulling the strings was trying to draw Korosensei out of hiding by threatening his image as a person and _oh fucking shit this was_ \- "What Earthly reason could you have for - AHHH!"

Suddenly four massive pillars erupted from the ground, covered in white sheet-like material.

...a trap.

"The government was kind enough to let me have one of Karasuma's men on loan," a man said, and I exhaled slowly. Shiro. I should have _fucking_ known. This has all his fingerprints on it. "I required a decoy to lure you into this pen of Anti-Sensei sheets."

I snarled, barely peripherally aware that Stooge Alpha was crawling out from the pen desperately. This fucker! This fucker was stealing my thing! This was my thing, and he was stealing it! My thing! Using plans and trapping people by their own natural actions! Bastard!

"Not unlike the ruse your students devised on the island, yes? Such nimble minds the young have. Lure... Confine... And strike."

Why?! Stop stealing my thing! Ugh.

"That voice," Korosensei said.

"Now then, Korosensei," Shiro continued, "let your final death match..." He raised his hand and fuck you don't you godsdamn dare I swear to gods if you snap your fingers I will -

Shiro snapped his fingers. "Begin."

"Fucker!" I exploded, throwing my arms in the air and gesticulating wildly. "And now he's stealing my finger-snapping! First my plan and now my flourish! Raaagh!"

The other students just kinda stared at me, nonplussed.

Still making nonsensical sounds of anger under my breath, I looked up at the sky - where Itona was jumping, his tentacles swirling around him and reflecting glints of moonlight.

"So strong..." the boy said. "But compared to me... So weak."

* * *

 **Nick tends to get irritated about small things. Petty? No, never (wanking motion and rolling eyes)**

 **This one was fun! Mainly because I got to write Nick just having fun, a lot of the time. The whole pudding plan was basically one big excuse for me to write shitty egg jokes, and then the parkour challenge was a blast to write because of Nick's prior experience in being ridiculously nimble in the forest. Finally, he got to snark nearly constantly when Korosensei was being accused of being a pervert, mainly because he doesn't** _ **understand**_ **why people would be reading and/or stealing underwear. It's one of those concepts he doesn't get, like physical attractiveness beyond a certain limit or the appeal of porn in general.**

 **(also i just really wanted to use that stupid chicken knock-knock joke. it's me, i am the joking trash)**

 **Holy shit, though, with the training Nick's receiving, he will be a** _ **monster**_ **in Alfheim if/when he returns to that game. Like, there's a Skill for wall-running, but Nick knows how to do it without that skill. He'll just wall-run anywhere and everywhere and people will be SO CONFUSED.**

 **And then the little tirade about Shiro stealing his thing was just… yeah. Kinda just freestyling the rant there. Fun fact! That's what ninety percent of my ranting sounds like if I'm not** _ **actively**_ **pissed off, and just ranting to relieve stress or something. Incoherent babble that makes sense to me and not anyone else. Angrish features heavily.**

 **In regards to some of the reviews from last chapter, mentioning it's weird Nick is just now starting to miss his family:**

 **I disagree. Nick is exceptional at compartmentalizing, as well as ignoring things he doesn't want to think about. Put those two together, and is it really such a surprise that he managed to throw himself into his work enough to ignore his emotions? Especially since the assassination work is engaging enough that he can distract himself that way. The problem is, after having his composure rattled by Takaoka, he can't do that quite as easily for a while, especially given that it's the rest of summer break and he has no regular class to keep him occupied. Without the composure or the distraction, he's a lot more prone to giving in to his loneliness. That's what we're seeing now; even if he's distracting himself, it doesn't work as well anymore, and the thoughts of his family are more prominent.**

 **Thanks to everyone that's favorited, followed, or left a review.**


	3. Itona Time

**Chapter 3: Itona Time**

* * *

"Now then, Korosensei," Shiro said, "let your final death match... begin." He snapped his fingers.

Mrrrgrgr! That bastard, stealing my gimmick. And it wasn't enough for him to steal just my thing, no! He has to steal my snapping thing! Both my things, stolen by this... this... Mmmmmrgh!

Oh, and I guess Korosensei's in danger, but he can handle himself. The other kids were panicking a little bit, even though I remained calm once I'd gotten over my mostly-exaggerated ranting. "It's Itona!" they exclaimed.

"I'm afraid drastic changes to the playing field were in order," Shiro said. From inside the cage of Anti-Korosensei material, we could hear the crash of Itona's tentacles hitting the ground, and the very familiar sounds of Korosensei moving at high speeds. "You understand, I'm sure," he said. "Ensnare first, strike second. Very effective. As you can see, we've taken a page from their tactics," he said as he glanced our way.

I rolled my eyes. "Jerk. At least pay me a royalty, then," I muttered under my breath. "Since, y'know, I'm the one who came up with this idea in the first place. Better yet, go jump off a bridge and die. …After paying me."

"You dirty- I should have known it was you behind all this!" Terasaka shouted.

"Indeed," Shiro said. "When the trust of his students is on the line, this creature panics." Itona was staying just outside the cage of Anti-Korosensei sheets, striking from above with his tentacles. I couldn't see very well, thanks to the speed of the blows, but it looked like they were armored with something. Probably more Anti-Korosensei material. "If something seems a bit fishy, no matter. The fool plunges in headfirst."

I fingered my knife absently, but didn't bother drawing the blade. A pistol wouldn't be enough to shoot Itona from this distance, with _his_ reflexes, and I didn't even have it with me to boot. Most of the time, I just went around with the knife equipped. The walls of the cage were bulging from time to time, and I couldn't tell if it was because of the air pressure changing so rapidly, or because Korosensei was brushing up against the sheets.

Well, if I couldn't take out Itona, then maybe... I studied Shiro, then shook my head. No, that was a bad idea entirely. I didn't have anything that could efficiently incapacitate the larger man, and attacking would be stupid.

"Damnit!" Terasaka snarled. "The bastard's stealin' our kill!"

"This totally counts as fighting dirty, in case you didn't know!" Fuwa accused Shiro.

The man in white didn't even flinch. "Also commonly referred to as being an adult." I shrugged. He had a point. "Note the gloves on Itona's tentacles. The edges are sharp, and constructed of Anti-Sensei material. Each defensive stroke by your teacher results in ever increasing damage to his limbs. Though that won't be quite enough to finish him off."

I nodded. "Very clever. But, ah, sir, there's one question I need to ask you."

"Go ahead," Shiro said, sounding almost amused.

With a shriek of panic, Korosensei launched himself in the air to escape - which was exactly what Itona was waiting for. An armored tentacle wrapped around Korosensei's leg tentacles, constricting them and holding the octopus in place. "I've won, Big Brother," Itona declared. "Give up. This is just how it is."

"You know how Korosensei _works_ , right?" I asked. "I mean, not in the chemical sense of his body, though I wouldn't be averse to you sharing that information too, mind. I mean his methods, how he learns."

"I have one problem to solve," Itona said, rearing back and hoisting the screaming Korosensei in the air before slamming the yellow octopus into the ground. "You!"

I chuckled. "I mean, you said it yourself. We've used these tactics before."

"At last... I will prove my strength!" Itona shouted, striking for all he was worth.

"We didn't succeed," I said. "And don't you know?

" _The same tactic never works twice._ "

From inside the cage of Anti-Korosensei sheets, we could hear the octopus's gleeful giggling. It didn't seem anywhere near as frantic as earlier, despite Itona's glare and redoubled efforts.

I tilted my head. "So what made you think this would?"

"Bravo!" Korosensei called up to Itona. "Well done, Itona! If we were in the first term right now, this might have actually cooked my goose. One criticism, though, your attack pattern is rather transparent." Shiro stood there, staring silently at the cage. "However fast you are, however strong, however many schemes your guardian thinks up. However prone I am to panic. By our third bout, I can adapt to the idiosyncrasies of your fighting style _with ease_."

There's a reason I wasn't all that worried.

"Ghh... No way!" Itona snarled. "It's not possible!" With a wild flail, he sent all of his tentacles streaking towards Korosensei.

I couldn't see what happened, but there was a loud _bang_ and Itona suddenly froze still, not withdrawing his tentacles like he usually did. "Dear boy," Korosensei said. "I study too, you realize. How could I mould young minds if I didn't? A true teacher misses no opportunity to learn." I was impressed, though. Despite clearly being unable to move, Itona was able to stay in the air.

"Now then," Korosensei said, and suddenly Itona withdrew his tentacles. "Let's get rid of this dangerous cage, shall we? Incidentally, trying out my Absolute Defense Form over summer break taught me a very valuable skill." Uh? The light emanating from the inside of the trap was a little worrisome. "How to release a burst of powerful energy by compressing not my body, but only the tips of my tentacles."

"...What," I said flatly.

The entire structure was glowing bright enough to light up the courtyard like it was midday, and I let out a hiss of displeasure. We'd managed to remove his first health bar, seems like, but that just meant he'd started using new patterns and attacks. Ugh. I hate boss fights that drag. Ah well. Better we learn about it now, instead of being in the middle of an assassination.

"What?" Shiro exclaimed, taking a step back, and that small flinch was like winning the lottery. Suck it, you smug jerk.

"Remember this, Itona," Korosensei said. "Assassination is education, I say. And in an assassination classroom, the teacher grows stronger with every lesson." He let out a shout of exertion, and the blast of energy detonated in a pillar of light that reached for the sky.

Hooray for transition lenses? Still, even so, I'd taken the precaution of closing one eye so as to not be blinded when the light show was over. All I could see when I swapped eyes, though, was a completely unconscious Itona being caught in Korosensei's arms. Looks like that energy blast knocked the kid out. "Well, there you have it, Shiro," Korosensei said to the guardian. I could hear the mockery in his voice. "I suggest you go quietly, and leave him to E Class. Also..."

Suddenly he started dancing back and forth frantically. "I'd appreciate if you spread the word that I am not, in fact, an underwear thief!" he yelped.

Oh, okay, drama over, time to not take this seriously again. "And tell people I'm a B cup!" Kayano exclaimed, flailing a hand at Shiro. "Got it?! B cup!"

"We're asking him _not_ to lie, Kayano," I snarked.

"Nick you're the worst!"

Heh.

For a tense moment, Korosensei and Shiro stared each other down. I wondered idly which of them would break first, in this contest of wills. The entire time, Shiro had been unflappable - but he was soundly defeated. This wasn't even something that he could justifiably retreat from; his charge was unconscious in Korosensei's arms, his plan was in ruins, and -

"Gaaaah!" Okay, correction, Shiro's charge was currently _screaming_ in agony in Korosensei's arms, flailing and spitting like he was having a seizure.

What.

Itona tumbled from Korosensei's arms, landing on the ground in a heap and clutching at his head. "It hurts!" he cried.

"Itona!" Korosensei gasped.

"It hurts! Feels like my head's gonna burst!"

Shiro didn't even so much as tilt his head. "That would be the agony of defeat," he said. "His tentacles are gnawing away at his brain."

"Hang in there, Itona!" Korosensei said, trying to help. Itona's wildly-flailing tentacles kept him at bay, and the rest of us weren't stupid enough to get near something that could probably smash our bones with ease.

"It seems losing to you a third time was quite the blow," Shiro continued, observing the situation dispassionately. "Failing to carry out this little scheme of mine is clearly more than he can bear." So, like, are we talking three strikes here, or is it just until the willpower fades, or... "Itona," Shiro called out, "if this is the best you're capable of, the organization _will_ stop paying." Itona was too busy curled up and moaning in agony to reply. "I feel for you, I really do. But I have to cut my losses at some point. Focus my attention on your successor. This is goodbye, Itona. I'm sorry." With that cruelly casual goodbye, Shiro turned and walked away. "You're on your own from here."

"Ritsu," I said, "remind me later about Shiro mentioning a successor, okay? That seems like it'll be important."

"Got it."

Korosensei noticed Shiro striding away. "Hey! Where do you think you're going? How can you call yourself his guardian?!"

"Asks the monster playing classroom," Shiro said. "Why feign concern when all you can _really_ do is destroy? Mark my words," he said, turning to look at Korosensei. "I will not tolerate your existence. In the end, I'll kill you. No cost is too high, no sacrifice too great."

In the background of his declaration, Itona was still shrieking in agony. Huh. You'd think he would have passed out by now. Guess the kid has pretty okay pain tolerance.

"Come to think of it, actually," Shiro mentioned casually, "how do you suppose your new students feel about that?" With a simple jump, Shiro cleared the hedge wall and disappeared from our view.

Okay, that, uh... That wasn't humanly possible, I think? Not to clear that wall and still have room left over. Either Shiro's been experimenting with tentacles himself, or he's got _some_ sort of assistance under that robe of -

With a scream of agony, Itona lashed out, and a tentacle shot towards us. "Fuck shit!" I exclaimed, knife flashing towards my hand in a futile guard.

A blast of wind and Korosensei was in front of us, smacking the tentacle to the side. My heartbeat finally started up again and I ran my tongue over my teeth, getting into a battle state. Whatever I'd been thinking of about Shiro, it was gone. I needed to fight the enemy in front of me.

Itona was hunched over, staring wildly at us. For a second, I was prepared to counter another attack - and then Itona lunged off with an animal cry, jumping away.

"What was wrong with him?" Nagisa asked, staring at where Itona had disappeared.

"Eh..." Korosensei started to say before he toppled over.

"Korosensei!" the other kids exclaimed.

The teacher laughed. "Don't worry, I'm just pooped," he admitted, flat on his back and staring at the sky. I glanced at my knife, then regretfully put it away. There was zero chance I was going to succeed in an assassination attempt if Korosensei was just pooped, so why bother. I'd need him to be out of energy entirely. "Nothing a little rest won't fix."

While Korosensei recovered, the rest of us milled around in the courtyard. "So, uh, nobody's gonna worry about getting caught by whoever's asleep inside, what with the loud noises and bright lights?" I asked after a few seconds. "Cool, I guess." Seriously, how was this place not _crawling_ with people? I know the first that I do when I hear an explosion nearby is try to determine the source and figure out if it's going to happen again so that I can relocate to a safe distance away.

Well, with nothing better to do, I casually took a seat, leaned back, and folded my arms behind my head. "How are you so casual about this?" Fuwa asked me, standing above me and off to the side. I could have taken advantage of my position, but, uh, asexual and also in a happy relationship.

"I mean, is there a reason I shouldn't be calm? Korosensei isn't dead, we aren't being actively murdered by an out-of-control Itona, from where I'm sitting things are pretty much handled." And let's be real here, I've dealt with situations that were a lot more stressful. Staring down a feral beast with tentacles was, like, Floor 30 stuff.

About ten, fifteen minutes later, the others had finally gotten comfortable when Nagisa's phone let out a little chime that meant Ritsu wanted our attention. Nagisa pulled out his phone. "You should take a look at this," the AI said, a news broadcast already being livestreamed to his phone.

"The first incident was here," the reporter said as she stood in front of a taped-off disaster zone. Seriously, it looked like a bomb went off behind her. "Officials don't have any suspects yet in this bizarre string of cellphone shop attacks, but aren't ruling out terrorism. Businesses in the area have been told to stay on high alert."

Oh for fuck's sake Itona can you _not_ be a pain in my ass every single time you show up, please 'kay thanks. "This _has_ to be him," Ritsu said.

"No kidding," Terasaka said, "who else would it be?"

"Yeah, but why cellphone shops, though?" Fuwa asked. Um, because he dislikes the world of today and cellphone shops represent the simultaneously connectivity of the world and the isolation everyone feels? How you can be in touch with your friends from across the world and yet have nothing to say to someone sitting across the table, both of you on your cellphones and surfing the internet?

Or maybe he's just crazy.

"We can't just let him run loose," Kayano said.

Korosensei straightened up. "The burden of reigning the boy in now falls on me," he said. "I have to find Itona and protect him."

The other kids were watching Korosensei, but I saw Karma's eyes slide off to the side. Whatever he was thinking, it probably wouldn't mesh with the rest of the group's resolution. "Yeah, I vote it'd be better if we just leave the kid alone," he said.

Called it. Still, I get the feeling I know where he's coming from. If I had to guess, he'd probably be on his guard about Shiro, less than Itona. Shiro was, as I'd always pegged him, the dangerous one in the partnership between him and the boy. Anyone can have muscle - see Terasaka for example A - but it takes someone devious to use that muscle and then just casually throw away the pawn like that. I was guilty of it myself, in little ways; the boss fights in Aincrad were cold-blooded risk-reward calculations, plans I drew up to ensure the highest chance of killing the boss with the lowest chance of losing any of my pieces.

Still, I didn't just throw them away. That would have been stupid.

That meant Shiro had something else planned, I think. In any event, though, Korosensei wouldn't be dissuaded, so the best thing to do with this trap was to walk into it knowing it was probably a trap.

Though, really, what could we do even if it was a trap? At least this way I'd be able to react fast enough.

"No," Korosensei said. "I am his teacher," he told us. With a blast of wind, he flickered - and when I finished blinking, he was dressed in his regular teacher robes instead of the ninja suit he'd been wearing. "A teacher never turns his back on a student, no matter what," he said, clasping his tentacles together. "When I took this job, that was my solemn vow. To never let go."

I sighed. Alright, yeah, yeah, we get it, you're the best teacher. Can we just go find this problem child already? It's late and I'm tired from not sleeping well these past few weeks.

We followed the trail of destroyed cellphone stores until we found one with a bunch of gawkers staring; the police were just starting to arrive at the scene. This must have been the most recent incident, so that meant Itona was probably nearby. We scanned the stores close by, and one building in particular stood out; if we hadn't been looking deliberately, we probably would have missed it, but across the street from the destroyed cellphone shop was an abandoned warehouse. The door was cracked open, but entry had been forced.

Well, we're either going to find Itona inside, or a very confused hobo.

The warehouse was dark and empty, and our footsteps echoed through the silence. That wasn't the only thing I heard, though. "No more lip service," someone's voice echoed, and Korosensei disappeared in a flash. That was Itona's voice, sure enough, and apologies to any hoboes we might have confused along the way. "No more beating around the bush. The only thing you learn from losing is how to be a loser. I wanna win! I wanna be strong...!"

We ran towards where we could hear Itona's voice, deep in the back of the warehouse, but I couldn't help wincing. That... That was scarily familiar. That view on life.

I could feel the pressure of his bloodlust from over here, but it felt lost and aimless. Like mine. The bloodlust of someone just wanting to destroy and not having a target in mind.

"Your human side is starting to show," Korosensei said as we ran up to him. He was standing in front of a slumped-over Itona. "That's a positive sign."

Slowly, Itona raised his head, and I stared. His eyes had always been so piercing, but now they seemed... clouded. Corrupted. "Big brother," he whispered. The tentacles from his hair were starting to turn jagged and black, and a crushed cellphone was gripped tightly by one.

"I prefer Korosensei, if you please," our teacher replied, spreading his tentacles in a friendly gesture. "A much more appropriate name, I think."

Terasaka stuck his pinky in his ear and wiggled it around a bit. "Promise not to go all nuclear on us, okay? We've been through a lot of crap tonight because of you, but come quietly and we're willing to let it slide. So just... y'know."

I never thought I'd see the day that Terasaka vouched for the non-violent approach to problem solving, but impressive. "Shut your face!" Itona snarled, pushing himself to his feet. It looked slow, like every movement caused agonizing pain. "We fight! Come at me! Right now!" With a surge of motion, his tentacle threw the phone through a distant window.

Korosensei waved a scolding tentacle. "We can battle if that's what you really want," he said. "There must be a vacant lot nearby. State secret versus state secret!" Sunday, Sunday, Sunday! "When the smoke clears," Korosensei said, raising his arms, "we can study ways to kill me. I've got all the fixin's for a study-buddy barbeque!"

I stared flatly at our teacher. Really? That's stupid.

Itona just stared at Korosensei silently.

"He's a very persistent octopus," Karma said lightly. "Take my word for it, once you're in his class he'll go to hell and back to make sure a lesson sticks."

"Nue-heh-heh-heh-heh," Korosensei laughed. "You bet I will. Put a student in front of me, and I'm in my element. The instinct to teach them is so powerful I can't help it!" he said, staring at Itona. Itona lifted his chin to stare back at the octopus. The boy still hadn't said anything after his outburst. "Nue-heh-heh-heh-heh," Korosensei laughed again.

 _Bang bang bang!_

I jumped at the first pop, and by the third my Anti-Korosensei knife was in my hand, for all the good it would do against a normal attacker. Smoke filled the room, clouding our vision and making everyone cough. "What is this stuff?!" Nagisa gasped.

"Can't... see..." Kayano said. Fuwa was desperately covering her mouth and trying to get a deep breath.

My eyes flicked from side to side, trying to figure out where we were going to be attacked from. This had to be the trap, right? "Oh dear!" Korosensei exclaimed. "This is Anti-Me powder!" I spared an instant to glance at our teacher and sure enough, his tentacles were starting to dissolve slowly. Shiro was attacking, definitely. That would mean -

"Casting my ward adrift was all part of the plan, _Korosensei_ ," Shiro said from the wall off to the side. I could make out his glowing red eyes through the smoke, as well as the silhouettes of a few gunmen on either side of him. Probably surrounded. Fight our way out? Not likely to succeed. Enemies on a truck outside of the warehouse.

The shooters opened fire with fully automatic guns, forcing us to take cover. Korosensei danced between the bullets carefully, but his reaction times were slow. "I was so preoccupied by the boy's bloodlust, I didn't even notice!"

"Come along, Itona," Shiro said calmly. "One last duty to fulfil."

A louder bang echoed over the sound of the airsoft machine guns and I saw a net wrap around Itona, tangling over the boy and dragging him towards Shiro. "Don't you dare!" Korosensei shouted, but he was being pinned down by the bullets.

Itona was loaded onto Shiro's van and it roared down the street. "Rescue him," Shiro's voice floated back to us. "You _are_ his teacher." More smoke bombs hissed and exploded in the street, covering Shiro's escape. Korosensei couldn't pursue.

"You..." Korosensei growled, appearing outside the warehouse in a flash. We stumbled out after him, coughing and hacking as our bodies tried to get fresh air.

"Korosensei," Nagisa said weakly, before being racked by another coughing fit. I was coughing into my elbow, but my sides were starting to ache from the coughing.

Korosensei looked at us. "No one's hurt, are they?" I glanced at the others, but being outside in the fresh air meant that the smoke could start to dissipate, and I was slowly being able to breathe again without doubling over. "Everyone okay?" The others blinked at Korosensei's intensity.

"Sure, more or less," Kayano said.

"Good," Korosensei nodded. "I'll go after your classmate. Away!" he shouted, launching himself in the air.

The wind of his departure blew away the last of the Anti-Korosensei powder, and I could breathe freely. "You noticed that, right?" Karma asked. "Protecting us slowed his response time."

"Oh no!" Fuwa gasped.

"Damn that Shiro," Terasaka growled, staring at where the van had disappeared into the night. "He sure as hell made us his pawns, alright."

Now, I'm not one to protest about being used like a pawn. That would be hypocritical, given my main method of fighting. Being a pawn wasn't necessarily anything bad, although it did imply a measure of carelessness, to be used so easily.

But that aside, Shiro was _really_ starting to get on my last nerve. Time and again he'd attacked E Class to get to Korosensei, and that would _not_ fly. He had to be taught a lesson. My patience with his bullshit has finally run out.

I grabbed my phone and started making calls to the other student outposts. Since I didn't like putting all my eggs in one basket, other squads had been carefully camping out the other possible theft sites, just in case Ritsu's read on the probabilities was wrong - or if the stars somehow aligned and that one percent chance came true. For this new campaign against the white bastard, though, we'd need everyone.

* * *

After gathering everyone, we followed Ritsu's directions to where the van had finally come to a stop. From where we were hiding in the distance, through a pair of recording-capable binoculars Kurahashi had brought with her, Ritsu was able to zoom in and broadcast the sight to all of us through our phones.

Itona was lying tangled up in the street, motionless. The van had come to a halt and was just sitting there, engine off. Steam was coming from Itona's body, and I frowned. Was that... because of the tentacles? That steam was the kind of steam we saw when Korosensei's cells evaporated into the air after being damaged.

"Itona!" Korosensei shouted, landing in front of the boy with a blast of wind.

Before he could make a move to free the captured boy, violet lights snapped on one by one. It was that strange pressure ray that Shiro used, the one that solidified Korosensei's body. Korosensei stared around, his body shivering in strange angles. "Not that I'm the least bit surprised," Shiro said, stepping around the van, "but you really _are_ a fool."

The scouting team reported back to us, landing safely in the brush. "Locations of the snipers have been marked," Okano whispered to me. "We also put down those weird lights, just in case."

"Excellent," I said with a small smirk. "Let the games begin."

"Fire," Shiro said lazily. "Your target is Itona."

Wait, what? That asshole.

A hailstorm of Anti-Korosensei pellets rained down on the prone body of the boy, and Korosensei whipped around in panic. He disappeared and started running around, streaks of black managing to knock all of the pellets away. Some of the bullets even curved on their own without Korosensei swiping them away.

"Remarkable," Shiro said, his hand on his chin. "You repelled my bullets with your robes and the wind pressure. But, you know," he continued, "that net is made of titanium and wrapped in Anti-Sensei fibers. Even for a monster like you, it will be difficult to save him and repel the bullets.

Korosensei leaned over Itona, working on getting the boy free. "After all," Shiro continued, "you're still recovering from the injuries I gave you earlier tonight, and the pressurized beam of light is slowing you down even further. If you avert your eyes for even an instant, Itona's tentacles will be destroyed. And with that, the boy will die."

Shiro chuckled as Korosensei was forced to drop the wire cutters he'd been using and continue flailing around with small yelps, blocking the bullets coming at Itona from every direction. "And you grow exponentially weaker when the target is anyone but yourself," he continued. "In the end," he sighed, "you're a selfish creature only capable of caring about yourself. Are you certain you won't go?"

"I am his teacher!" Korosensei shouted, his words coming out in staccato bursts from the focus he was putting on protecting Itona.

You know... I wonder _why_ Shiro chose Itona. Why, out of all the children in the world, did that white-robed bastard pick this one? Was it his eyes? The tenacity and intensity I saw when staring at him? Or maybe it was the way he threw himself at his goals, doing whatever it took.

And _that_ was a sour feeling in my stomach, right there. I didn't like the allusions that could be made by Itona's chosen course of action vis a vis myself.

Well, regardless, it didn't _truly_ matter. The math was simple; if we didn't rescue Itona tonight, we would be down either a target or an ally, either of which would be detrimental to our success.

Some of the other students seemed worried about Korosensei, but I stayed calm. This wasn't anywhere near the worst I'd ever had to deal with. "Alright, people," I said, cracking my neck, "here's my idea."

I sketched the simple plan out quickly - we were running out of time - and the class seemed to calm down as soon as they had their jobs. "Let's be about it," I said, and we all ran off to do our work.

Swarming up a nearby tree, Karma jumped and caught a branch midair. With a cheerful, carefree laugh, he swung, planting both feet into the back of one of the shooters, kicking the soldier down.

"What the-" another one barked, turning to look. Sucked to be him; Maehara took advantage of the split second of vulnerability to jump up that tree and snap a kick into _his_ back, sending the soldier flying.

Both of them landed safely, in the tarps held out by four students each. As soon as the disoriented soldier landed, they quickly rolled him up and tied off the tarp, keeping the soldiers pinned.

I laughed cheerfully as I landed on the branch beside one of the soldiers still firing. He looked at me, the muzzle of his gun starting to swing towards me. I'd dealt with this before; GGO destroyed any paralyzing fear of guns I might have had. With a lunge I ducked forward, kicking at his feet and knocking him free. The soldier shouted before landing in another tarp and being rolled up like sushi.

"You guys really shoulda seen this comin'," Terasaka growled, grabbing firmly onto one of the soldier's shoulders. "That crap might be Anti-Octopus, but it sure ain't Anti-Us!" He kicked the soldier down with a boot to the rear, sending the guy sprawling into Yoshida and Muramatsu's waiting tarp.

"Hey Terasaka!" Isogai called up. "Can you grab those lights up in the tree?"

"All over it!" the thug called back.

"Damn kids," one of the soldiers snarled, starting to take aim at one of the ground team. The leaves above him rustled. "Huh?"

Okano swung down and wrapped her legs around his neck. "Sorry," she said with a cheerful wink, "but I'm still frustrated from being hunted down by Mr. K. For this game of cops and robbers, you guys are the robbers, okay?" With an athletic twist, she let go of the upper branch and flipped the man straight down to the ground.

Before too much longer, all the soldiers in the trees were accounted for, and the lights had been smashed, turned off, or otherwise made useless. We all gathered on the pavement.

"You're doing this... for me?" Itona mumbled.

"Don't read too much into it," Hayami said. She was standing over him watching the truck and Shiro, one hand on her hip. "This isn't about you, we're just pissed at your boss. And if Korosensei hadn't bolted, we'd have left you behind in a heartbeat."

"You hear that, dude?" Okajima said to Takebayashi. "I love how she pretends not to care!"

Takebayashi adjusted his glasses. "The girl runs hot and cold," he said.

Hayami groaned.

But seriously, she's like that, and she's a damn good sniper. It's like... a hundred percent Shino except younger and with orange hair. Even their hairstyles are kinda similar. Maybe it's a sniper thing.

Shiro was just staring at us silently, hopefully writhing in silent despair over how _badly_ he done fucked up. I wouldn't be averse to some gnashing of teeth and wailing lamentations.

"Wouldn't look this way if I were you, Shiro," Karma said slyly.

I grinned. "Weren't you... keeping someone pinned down? I don't know. An octopus, maybe?"

From the back of the truck the last of the pressure lights were smashed by a blur, followed by a grunt of exertion. Shiro turned around and I wish I could see the expression on his face when he saw Korosensei standing on the truck, casually smashing the mechanism used to keep Itona trapped in that net. "You need to pay attention," Karma said with a small laugh. "Stop shooting, and the net'll come right off at the base!"

Korosensei threw down the scrap metal with a satisfied huff. "Excellent timing. Nicely done, children!"

Isogai and Maehara knelt down over Itona. "That stuff's melting his tentacles!" Isogai gasped.

"It's okay!" Maehara called. "We'll get you out of there!" Looks like that's being taken care of, at least. That's good.

"Step down, Shiro," Korosensei told the man in white. "We're taking Itona with us. You're a meticulous man, that much is apparent. But once you involve my students, there's no telling what lengths I'll go to. The sooner you home in on the obvious, the better." The unspoken message was clear: stop going after E Class, or shit was going to turn serious _real_ fast. Korosensei might not stop at just twisting the metal into knots next time. Come to think of it, I've always wondered what a human pretzel would look like...

Shiro just laughed softly under his breath. "A class taught by a monster, swarmed with gnats," he said, his glowing red eyes boring at us. "How _infinitely_ irritating."

Okay, I'll have to remember that one. As much an asshole as Shiro is, he can have some good lines.

"Though I begrudgingly grant you, my approach is in need of a radical overhaul," Shiro continued. "...Keep the boy if you like," he said after a silence. "He'll only live another two days or so. You kids play nice now, hm?"

He turned and walked away. I mean, I really, _really_ wanted to go and beat the crap out of him for what he'd put us through, but I didn't want to waste my bloodlust on that idiot. Besides, it'd probably be better if I stuck with E Class for the time being. Itona looked like he'd passed out from the pain, finally.

Once we got the net off of him, he seemed to relax a little bit. "As long as the poor boy is gripped by this pathological need to win," Korosensei said softly, and I twitched, "the tentacle cells will cling too tightly to be extracted." So they respond to... desire? I guess?

"So, can't we just cut them off, or whatever?" Kataoka asked our teacher.

"Not until he can break the fixation," Korosensei told us. "Some dreadful thing brought him to this pass. We _must_ find out what."

"Oookay," Nakamura said, folding her arms.

Maehara nodded grimly. "Easier said than done," he said. "I mean, he's not just gonna spill his guts."

"Find it?" I asked Fuwa quietly. "That thing I mentioned?"

She nodded. "Nick and I were thinking, actually," she said to the class. "His little rampage... Aren't cellphone shops a weirdly specific target? We asked Ritsu to do some digging, to see if she could come up with a possible connection, and guess what." Ritsu wasn't as fast as Din; she wasn't specialized for information gathering and analysis, but for weaponized combat. Still, she was an AI, and that came with certain talents. Kinda like how Yui could do what Din did, only just a little bit less.

"Turns out," I said as Fuwa pulled up the relevant site on her phone, "one company had a link. Their owner had a son named, well, Itona Horibe. Ritsu should have sent the data to your phones, if you want to check it out for yourself. Basically, the company was a parts supplier. They used to have business in countries all over the world - something to do with the proprietary parts that only they could make. Something must have happened, though, since they declared bankruptcy a few years ago. The president and his wife vanished into the ether, leaving their son behind with relatives. Poor, little Itona."

Also, fun fact, turned out that the abandoned warehouse we found Itona squatting in earlier was one of the old factories for the company run by his father. Poetic, I guess.

I shrugged. "And then Shiro got his hands on the kid, somehow implanted tentacles or something, and then... that brings us to today."

At least it explained why he was so bent on getting power at any cost.

"Tch," Terasaka snorted. "Lame." The others looked at him. "That's all it took to make this punk a delinquent? Like we all don't have a bag of rocks to carry." My eyes flicked to the side and down. I had... Yeah, we all had our pasts. "Kid needs some perspective," Terasaka continued, striding up to where Itona was unconscious on the ground. "We'll handle things from here," he said, picking the boy up by the collar. "Take him in, care for him, yadda yadda." Like he was a pet Terasaka and his gang were adopting? "If he dies, he dies, we tried."

I guess I can't argue with that approach. If he dies, well, he dies. Too bad, so sad.

Itona was in the hands of the four idiots for now, so the rest of us backed off and watched from a distance. "That bandanna," Kataoka said thoughtfully. "I know it was made from the Anti-Sensei net, but will it really help if Itona goes berserk again?"

"Probably not," Hara said back. "But it's just for peace of mind anyway. There's really not much we can do to stop him if another fit comes."

I kept silent and watched as Itona finally stirred, Terasaka saying something. The boy was definitely sick, his eyes staring hollowly. His skin was pale and I could see dark bags under his eyes from this far away, and his arms were shivering uncontrollably. While he might be wearing short sleeves, the late September weather wasn't _that_ cold. The most striking part of his appearance was the wide bandanna Kataoka mentioned. It was pale blue and lined with the Anti-Korosensei wire, arranged in a repeating pattern.

"So, does the idiot have a plan?" I asked laconically. It might have sounded light and dismissive, but the others would know by now that I very rarely sounded serious.

"I'm sure he has a plan," Nagisa said, peering around the corner. The five kids were walking down the street by this point, and we were about to have to keep moving in order to be able to listen in on their conversation.

Terasaka looked back at the others. "So, you guys," he said, sounding serious. And then his face turned into a sheepish grin. "Whadda we do now?"

I groaned and thunked my head into the tree I was hiding behind. "Ooooof course not," I drawled. "This is gonna be lovely."

"You didn't think about it, at all?!" Yoshida shouted.

"Shut up!" Terasaka roared back. "With four people here, we should be able to think of something!"

"You reeally don't think ahead, do you?!" Muramatsu shouted. I'm not actually sure he thinks at all.

Behind Terasaka, Itona stood silently, staring ahead and shuddering.

At least Nagisa's dumbfounded look was amusing.

Fortunately, Hazama came to the rescue. "Muramatsu, your family has a ramen restaurant, right? Pretty sure that the kid'll feel better once he's gotten something to eat."

"Ohh," Terasaka said.

Their destination apparently decided, they headed off to the ramen shop. It was some tiny hole-in-the-wall restaurant, with no real advertising its existence beyond a small sign with the name on it. Not unlike the Dicey Cafe, come to think of it. The kind of place that you'd pass by without thinking twice - unless you'd been told of the restaurant by another person.

In this case, the store was so tiny that we couldn't possibly follow without being seen, so it was time for Ritsu to go to work. "Ritsu," I asked her, "could you open up the channel? It'd be best if we listen in on this, if only to make sure we can intervene before things go too far south."

"Sure!" Ritsu said. As soon as she concentrated, the voices started playing through my phone.

"-hat do you think?" Muramatsu was asking. I could also hear slurping over the audio, so that meant Itona was at least eating. "Totally disgusting, right? I keep telling my old man, but he won't change the recipe."

"I agree," Itona said flatly. "It's disgusting." Huh. That went south pretty fast. But at least he's not flipping out? "Ugh. MSG doesn't hide the fact that the bones are stale. And somebody needs to tell your old man this fishcake topping is out of style. This recipe you've got is four generations too old."

"Holy shit," I said in the slightly stunned silence. "Um... I'm not the only one wondering why this kid's a ramen connoisseur, right?"

Yada looked at me. "Actually, I'm more wondering why you and Ritsu can just tap into people's phones. Isn't that a little creepy?"

"Pfft," I said with a wave.

"Don't 'pfft' me!"

Okay, but seriously, how the hell did he know so much about this? I doubt he went on Uncle Shiro's ramen shop grand tour while a state secret, so, uh... How? And why did he sound so serious while critiquing the recipe? Yada pouted. "Nick, don't ignore me!"

"It's fine," I said absently. Maybe because this little shop shared characteristics with Itona's father's shop? "Ritsu's the one that initiates it, so the only control any of us has is to ask her. And I trust Ritsu not to snoop on private conversation - especially since she technically has access to everything on your phone, including texting, photos, and browsing history. If she wanted to know our secrets, she could figure them out a lot easier than by listening to a conversation."

"Urk." Why was Okajima swallowing nervously? Not like _he_ has any secrets any of us would want to know.

"Hey," Yoshida said, breaking the awkward silence inside the ramen shop, and E Class stopped bickering amongst ourselves to resume listening. "Let's hit up my place next. What I got's the bomb, it's totally modern. This fossil ain't even remotely in the same league."

"Dude!" Muramatsu protested.

The sound of scraping chairs echoed and the audio feed went quiet; they were leaving the shop. I took a look at Itona again; his shaking had subsided a bit, suggesting some of it had been from the lack of energy. I assumed that tentacles burned a lot of energy, at least, judging by the way Korosensei guzzled down junk food. They weren't gone entirely, but he looked a little better.

We trailed the Terasaka Five to Yoshida's place, which turned out to be - to pretty much everyone's complete lack of surprise - a motorcycle shop, complete with a racing ring out back. After a short discussion, Yoshida and Itona put on helmets and headed out. A few seconds later, and the roar of a motorcycle was echoing through the previously peaceful night, accompanied by Yoshida's whoops of joy.

Hm... I'm starting to miss my motorcycle, actually. It was very useful to have when I wanted to go out shopping. Now, I have to hope I can catch the trains at the right time. Maybe I should talk to Yoshida, float the idea of getting my own bike... No, better not. I don't have the cash for it, first off, and second he'd probably balk at the fact I don't have a license. Not that a license or lack thereof was stopping him, of course.

With a screech of wheels Yoshida hit the corner fast, hitting the breaks and leaning low to complete the turn. I snorted with amusement at the end result - Yoshida stayed on the bike alright, but Itona had clearly been just going with the flow, since he had gone flying straight off the bike and into the bushes. For Itona, at least, it seemed that inertia had been the victor.

"Idiot!" Terasaka shouted at him. "The hell you're doing?! Help him, the shock's gonna set him off again!" The thug ran over to where Itona was slumped in the bushes, butt sticking out.

"Relax, man," Yoshida said with an easy grin. "That wasn't enough to hurt him!"

The watching E Class students weren't so convinced of Itona's hard head. "Way to fly by the seat of your pants, guys," Nakamura said.

I frowned. "Oh, and you got on _my_ case about making egg puns," I protested. "Pot, kettle, time for you two to meet."

Nakamura glanced haughtily at me. "That's because, in my case, my jokes are funny. Isn't that right, Nagisa?" she asked, leaning an arm on the shoulder of the boy who was conveniently next to us.

"Uh..." he said. "Yeah."

"Traitor," I grumbled.

Looking at me, he gave me a sheepish grin and I waved it away. I was just whining because it was fun, not for any _real_ reason. Nagisa's preference for Nakamura's shit-tier puns over my shit-tier puns wasn't a big deal.

I glanced over at the bushes to see Terasaka lightly patting a stunned Itona's face, trying to get the kid to respond, while Yoshida laughed weakly, "See? He's fine..."

Uh huh, yeah, sure, whatever. "Well, they're a couple of morons," Karma said easily, "what did we really expect?"

"Hey, no worries," Okuda said. "At least Hazama's got a brain in her head!" Mm, that reminds me, I need to talk to her later.

I... Could I... I _swear_ I hear pipe organs playing. And what's with this malevolent aura of darkness? It feels like that feeling I get whenever I'm about to mention Shino's attempts at writing GGO fan-

A horrible, terrifying shiver ran down my spine, and I knew that somewhere, somehow, Shino _knew_ what I'd been about to think. I bet she regrets letting me see those journals...

"You wanna get back at Shiro, am I right?" Hazama asked Itona. Oh, thank the gods, someone not utterly terrifying. She was extending a book to him, but due to the aforementioned malevolent aura of darkness I couldn't make out the title from the alleyway behind the fences. "This novel oughta inspire you. Seven volumes, 2500 pages, full of delicious revenge. Read and let your soul be nourished by the darkness within." I think we need to have an angst intervention for Hazama. "Toward the end, the hero learns to forgive, so you don't have to bother reading that far."

"Seriously?!" Terasaka shouted. "No! Way too dark! And no one has the time to read a damn book!"

Hazama got to her feet. "Oh, come on," she said. "Evil has to be nurtured properly too, you know."

"We're supposed to be cheering him up," Terasaka said, pointing to Itona. "You gotta think of your audience. He's probably not the sharpest tool in the shed."

Itona started shaking and trembling _much_ faster.

Shit.

"Uh, he's getting all twitchy again," Yoshida said.

Itona's growls were getting louder and louder. "Hell, I'd be twitchy too if Terasaka called me stupid," Muramatsu said.

Hazama backed away. "Oh no," she said. "It's the tentacles! He's about to flip out!"

The black, jagged tentacles erupted from the crown of Itona's head, writhing as the boy snarled like an animal. The four students shouted in surprise and shock and turned to bolt. "I am not one of you losers!" Itona shouted. Terasaka turned to look at him. "I'm strong! I'm strong and I win!"

I gritted my teeth and gripped at the chain link fence. Hhh... That pissed me off so much. Shut up about the damn winning, you idiot.

You sound too much like me, back in Aincrad. I don't _like_ that me. That me is before Kana, before Shino, before Asuna and Kirito and my family.

Terasaka's expression firmed from fear to resolution, and he stopped running away, turning to fully face Itona. "What are you doing?!" Yoshida shouted at him.

The idiot ignored his friend. "Take it easy," he said to Itona soothingly. "We all wanna kill the octopus. Matter of fact, I was just thinking about it earlier today. Look," Terasaka said, "you're not gonna get him right out of the gate! So get over yourself! You need this too bad, man," he smirked, "so just let it go. You gotta chill the hell out."

"Aaahh, shut up!" Itona shrieked, sending a flailing tentacle at Terasaka to swat the boy out of his path.

With a crash, the tentacle slammed into Terasaka's stomach and the thug trapped it there in a lock, holding it with his knee and elbow. My eyes widened, and so did Itona's. "Huh, second time I caught your attack," Terasaka said, shaking slightly. "And you're weaker now, so it's way easier! Don't get me wrong, it still hurts bad enough I wanna puke.

"And speaking of puke," he added, "this reminds me of more of Muramatsu's ramen."

"Hey!" the boy yelped.

"You see," Terasaka said to Itona, "the octopus told him it'd be a good idea for him to study business. Sure, his dad's ramen is crap, but one of these days _he'll_ take over. And with what he's learned he can push new flavors, the joint'll be hoppin'! The octopus said the same thing to Yoshida," Terasaka continued. "It's about bein' patient, pickin' your moment. So snap out of it!" With the sudden roar, he whacked Itona on the head. The boy seemed stunned by Terasaka's lecture and just took the light blow. "You can't let a couple of losses blow you off course! You don't have to win now, just some day! Slow and steady wins the race, right?"

I felt someone watching me, and I turned to see Korosensei studying me. Slowly, I relaxed my grip on the chain link fence. Wordlessly, the octopus turned his attention back to the field and lightly fluttered over the fence. "Well, it kills the octopus, too!" Terasaka said. "Doesn't matter if we screw up a hundred times, either. As long as we kill him once, before March rolls around, _we win_."

I took a deep breath. Maybe.

"Use the reward money to get your dad's factory runnin' again," Terasaka told Itona. "So him and your mom can come back. That's somethin' to shoot for, why not?"

"I can't handle this," Itona said, looking at the ground. "The hell am I supposed to do while I'm waiting to win? How... how do I pass the time?"

"Huh?" Terasaka snorted. "You act like an idiot, like we did tonight. Don't worry," he said, gesturing at himself and his group, "we got you covered in that department."

"Isn't that heartwarming?" Karma asked happily. "And who but an idiot could have said it with a straight face?"

I licked my lips, and then let a small smirk slip onto my face. "True, that would be hard for you and I to say period, much less without feeling incredibly self-conscious. We probably couldn't get anywhere near the ease of delivery that Terasaka just displayed."

Karma nodded. "I gotta say, sometimes the word of an idiot is exactly what you need to hear."

Heh. If Terasaka was an idiot, and he saw things so simply... What did that make me? Who couldn't see that simple solution? Well, whatever. I saw it at last, didn't I?

"So I was... being impatient?" Itona asked. His tentacles finally relaxed and went limp, brushing the ground.

Terasaka snorted, holding a hand over his stomach where Itona's tentacle had whacked him. "Huh. A little bit, yeah."

"I do believe the fire in your eyes is out," Korosensei said. "In a good way. Those painful tentacle cells," he continued, holding up tiny tweezers in multiple tentacles, "can finally be excised now. But don't fret too much. What you'll lose in power, you'll more than make up for in friends. You will come and kill me, won't you?" he asked Itona. "Starting tomorrow."

Itona smiled weakly. "Whatever you say. I'm sick of this power anyway... and this whole brother thing."

Yeah, I'm with him there, that brother thing was kinda weird.

* * *

I slumped into the chair after putting down my tray. Sure, it wasn't graceful, but I was exhausted and hungry. Sitting down and plowing through completely, horribly unhealthy fast food seemed like just what the doctor ordered.

I stared at my chicken-bacon-ranch sandwich in contentment. Mm... I can feel my arteries hardening already.

My eyes wandered as I picked at the fries that came with my sandwich meal, and I slouched off to the side. Sure, I'd skewed the table by sitting down so roughly, but that was fixable after I was done. Nobody else was in the restaurant, anyway, so it's not like they'd-

-I froze as my eyes fell on the table immediately behind my chair. A girl was sitting there, wearing a winter coat. It was grey, hugging her frame. Her brown hair was wild but straightened out as it got longer, two locks falling by her chin and framing her expressive brown eyes. She was wearing light-brown leather boots that went up to her shin.

She was tapping her fingers on the table, simply watching me steadily. "Don't stare at me, Nick," Kana scolded me, tone gentle. Speechless, I could only close my mouth. It'd dropped open from shock. "This is entirely your fault, you know."

Silently, I turned and shifted my table, straightening it out and moving it next to the table beside me. If she wanted to, Kana could come sit with me.

And she did, slipping into the chair across from me at the other table. I took a shuddering breath, and she said-

This is a dream, I realized.

I woke up, blinking blearily. ...Again. I didn't even feel the familiar burn of anger, just dull, tired frustration as I slammed a fist against my mattress. Having bled out what little emotion had stirred in me, I rolled over and swung out of bed.

Again. _Another_ dream of Kana. And this one, I could remember how she looked, too.

Fuck you, subconscious. Fuck you and your fucking torturous mind games.

I glanced at my clock as I went to the bathroom - three in the morning. Well, I've dealt with less sleep before, and at this hour nobody will notice if I head down to the classroom by taking a few shortcuts. The shirt I slept in was soaked from sweat, and my bed wasn't much better.

I could probably catch a little more sleep by napping in the classroom before the others got there, so long as I set my phone's timer. The trip didn't take too long, though I yawned from time to time and almost dozed off on the train. Once I made it to the campus, I leaned my head on my desk, closed my eyes, and...

My phone finally went off, and I jolted awake. It wasn't the best night's sleep I'd ever gotten - obviously - but it was closer to seven hours than the five I'd fully been expecting. A quick glance told me that nobody else had arrived yet, and I could just make a convincing case for being early. Ritsu wasn't even up yet.

I groaned and pushed my chair back, going to get some water. I drank my fill and got back to the class before slumping in my chair, closing my eyes and resting without falling asleep. Bit by bit, students trickled in and joined the class, chatting merrily, and before too much longer I wasn't able to even rest in peace. Mainly because Kayano and Nagisa had arrived, and I didn't want those two to realize I hadn't been sleeping well.

Okuda was at least making me more of the sleeping pills that put me deep enough that I stopped remembering my dreams. I'd tried exercising until I was exhausted, but... even _that_ wasn't enough. She did tell me this was the last batch she felt comfortable making for me, so it looked like I had to make these last.

The door slid open again and someone new stepped through. At least he didn't make his own door, this time. "Well, hello there, welcome," Korosensei said, waving with a tentacle. "How are we feeling today?"

"Not so hot," Itona said. "Sucks not having my power anymore. ...Still, guess I don't feel any weaker. I _will_ kill you before it's over," he said, leveling a finger at Korosensei and staring our teacher down. His eyes were clear, not clouded or misted over by his obsession with power. Neat. "Korosensei."

"Nue-heh-heh-heh-heh," Korosensei laughed. "Well, your seat is all ready for you, between Terasaka and Karma. Why don't you go settle in?"

And that was the problem child, Itona Horibe, joining E Class. It only took what, half a year?

"Muramatsu, hey," Itona said, completely deadpan. "I'm broke. Give me some of your ramen and I'll try not to puke."

Hahaa, holy shit, this kid might actually be pretty okay. "Huh?!" Muramatsu yelped.

Still, him joining up with Terasaka's group... Well, it wasn't a total surprise, but still...

* * *

 **Hey, take a look, the final member of E Class finally decided to show up to join the fun! Itona is the last person to join E Class, rounding out our total at 29 characters, plus the two teachers, plus Korosensei, PLUS EVERYONE ON THE MAIN CAMPUS,** _ **PLUS THE ASSASSINS –**_

 ***gasp of breath* Okay. I'm okay. I am ooookay. That's a lot of characters – and you might notice that I have a few favorites to interact with among E Class – but I'm going to do my best. Good luck, Future Me…?**

 **(fuck you past me you asshole why did you decide to do this story)**

 **Anyway, there isn't much to talk about regarding the opening of this chapter; it's a direct continuation of last chapter. Itona attacks, gets fucking dunked on, and then bolts. We do get to see a new toy from Korosensei, that weird energy burst, and Nick's marked it down for an object of interest but not exactly a priority at the moment. He'll think about it, but I can spoil it for you right now – the only conclusions he'll make is that 'it makes a big boom'. There's just not enough data on it yet.**

 **Moving on, we didn't get to see the Itona flashbacks, but it's basically just that his dad was thinking that the world would return kindness and trust with kindness and trust, which hahaha no of course it doesn't. All of his workers get bought and the knowledge leaked to other companies that could manufacture the chips or whatever on assembly lines. As expected. Then Daddy Dearest just ditches kid Itona, who's found – in a rainy alleyway, for some creepy reason? – by Shiro, who proceeds to do really shitty math. I mean, there were only variables in the equation 'Your tenacity + my cutting edge technology = the power to grasp victory'. You can't solve that! Especially since it's just the one. If there were more, we** _ **might**_ **be able to use linear algebra, but…**

 **Eh, whatever. Nick finally got a taste of what he acts like – whining and moaning about strength constantly – and he doesn't really like it. How Asuna ever managed to put up with him, I have no idea. He gets the jist of what Terasaka said to Itona, though. (maybe he'll be better, maybe not.)**

 **And then the nightmare. Nick's not doing great. He's going to Okuda for sleeping pills, but she's rightly worried about reliance, so he's on a strict limit – the only times he'll use them is when he** _ **needs**_ **to be alert, like before tests and stuff. Everything else he just powers through. Yay for trauma~**

 **Thanks for reading. Many thanks to everyone that favorited, followed, or left a review.**


	4. Spinning Time

**Chapter 4: Spinning Time**

* * *

I yawned, rubbing blearily at my eyes as the bell rang to signal the end of class. It'd been... I blinked at the calendar up in the front of the room. A week. It'd been a week since we 'convinced' Itona to join E Class.

...Really? Had it been a week? I thought... but that meant today was Saturday, not Friday, like I'd thought...

I shook my head to clear the cobwebs away. I needed to be alert at all times, and this wasn't doing anything to help my situation. "Well, that just about does it, boys and girls, see you tomorrow!" Korosensei said boisterously as he slid the classroom window open. "Payday today at long last! So I'll be treating myself to some mouthwatering Shanghai crab. " _Yi, er, san,_ go!" I don't... what even did he just say?

"You could treat us to some!" Kataoka called out desperately once everyone nearby had finished shielding themselves from the wind. She has a point, I'd definitely enjoy some crab right about now.

Maehara sighed, leaning forward on his hands. "Is it me, or has our workload gotten crazy hard now that it's second term?"

"Yeah, well, you can't exactly blame Korosensei for trying to get our grades up," Nagisa pointed out.

"Guess not... Just that it's been forever since I've picked up a chick," Maehara sighed. I groaned and let my head fall back, and Nagisa laughed weakly.

A lot of students had already left for the day - or, in Karma's case, just not bothered to show up at all - and the class was already emptying of the girls as they headed off to do something or other together. I saw Okano slipping out the door, rolling her eyes at Maehara's lamentations. Heh.

Small motions caught my eye and I rolled my head without straightening up in my seat to look at Itona's desk. He was absorbed with some sort of project, but from where I was sitting his arm was blocking my sight.

"Hey, Itona," Nagisa said. He and Maehara approached the desk. "Are you sticking around?" Itona didn't reply, too absorbed in his work. "Whatcha working on there?"

"What's it look like I'm doing?" Itona said flatly, staring at his work. He always sounded flat and deadpan, so it'd taken me a little bit of time to realize that he wasn't just mad at me all day every day. "I'm building a remote control tank." Still not so much as looking at Nagisa, he picked up what looked like the turret and started fiddling with a screwdriver.

"How come?" Nagisa asked.

"The octopus," Itona said. "He made me cram all day yesterday. Stressed me out. I even tried to stab him, and he stopped me. 'Focus on the material, please,' he said. 'Next question.'" The turret was shaking in Itona's hands, now. "I'm pissed. So I'm gonna use _this_ to kill him." Nagisa chuckled.

"It's like the idiot said," Itona continued. Uh, by idiot, I think he's talking about Terasaka. "What's his name, Terasaka." Yeah, nailed it.

"Huh?!" Terasaka snapped.

"If I fail a hundred times," Itona said, "so be it. Who cares. Only gotta kill the taskmaster once."

Maehara was leaning over, blocking my view of Itona, and I sighed before pushing back my chair. Might as well actually stand up. "Good way of looking at it," Nagisa said.

"Wow," Maehara said. "This stuff... It's like, stupid high-tech."

I glanced over the parts of the disassembled tank, and nodded. I recognized a few bits and pieces here and there thanks to my work with Kazuto, and a lot of the pieces were self-explanatory - like the wires, and I knew what a circuit board looked like, thank you very much - but it was still pretty damn impressive. I worked with software, not hardware, so I didn't actually look into the particulars of mechanical and electrical engineering all that much. I just needed it to work, I didn't care _how_ it worked.

"I mean," Maehara said, once the remainder of the guys had gathered around to see what Itona was working on, "is it even for real?"

Takebayashi peered at the lens Itona was using as a feed for the tank. It fed to the controller, so the operator could see what was going on even when the tank was somewhere else. "Kudos," he said finally as he leaned back. "This puppy's using modified camera phone parts."

"Wow, Itona," Isogai said warmly. "You came up with all these tweaks yourself?"

Itona didn't stop in his soldering, despite being surrounded by curious students. Impressive; I knew that I couldn't exactly program well when someone was watching me. Something about being observed, and being aware I was being observed. "It's not really a big deal. I picked up electronics working for my old man. Anybody could do this stuff. Except Terasaka."

Terasaka glared, clenching a fist, and I chuckled. "Seems Itona's picked up on the E Class pastime of making fun of Terasaka pretty quick," I observed.

"That's only your and Karma's pastime," Terasaka snarled. "One of these days, I'm gonna punch you." I just smirked, the corner of my lips twisting mockingly.

Still, it was pretty cool. Kazuto had mentioned once that building stuff like this required patience and a steady hand, which made Itona a surprising candidate, given what he was like when he had the tentacles. Maybe the tentacle grafts were absorbing so much energy that he couldn't properly focus on anything other than the drive of the tentacles? It would explain why he seemed so disconnected from everything before Korosensei removed them. Still kept the sharp tongue, though, which was good.

After he finished fiddling with the turret, Itona put the tank back together and carefully set it down on the ground. We all watched curiously as he picked up the controller and carefully pressed up on the left stick. The wheels on the tank whirred quietly as the little remote toy whizzed forward. Itona stared fixedly at the screen on his control pad, deftly maneuvering the tank around the room and through the legs of the watching students, turning sharply with no problems at all. Murmurs of awe went up as the guys watched, until the tank came to a stop right beside Itona.

It turned and lowered its gun, taking aim at a series of three soda cans we'd set up just behind Ritsu's box. Itona narrowed his eyes with a small breath of concentration, and fired the tank three times. Each shot slammed home, knocking the cans into the air. Definitely impressive.

As the cans clanked and rolled, the class murmured. "Are you kidding me?" Sugaya said. "That thing barely even makes a sound. When it moves _or_ when it shoots!"

"I used electrical parts instead of gears," Itona said. Oh, so like an SSD instead of a regular hard drive. Fewer moving parts meant it was quieter. "Noise cancelation is paramount." Muramatsu let out a low whistle. "The camera feed is laced to the controller," Itona said, showing everyone the pad. "I've got it lined up with the sights on the main gun."

"Wow, cloak and dagger," Maehara said.

Nagisa blinked. "Okay, suppose you _could_ sneak up on him. Where are you gonna aim?"

"Where else?" Itona asked. "That's right, I'll let you guys in on a little secret." My eyes snapped to him, my usual pretense at laziness disappeared like smoke. "See, Korosensei has a single weak spot. His heart." Itona tapped at his chest. "It's located directly behind that necktie. If we hit it, we can take him out in one shot."

My spine blazed from the electric current running through it. There. That was what I'd been looking for. The single blow to cut off the head of the serpent.

Korosensei Weakness Number Thirty: His heart.

This changes _everything_.

...Also, it looks like Nagisa picked up a few weaknesses that I wasn't aware of.

I took a breath, then let it out and relaxed, letting my laziness fall on me like a blanket. I could deal with that later, honestly. Right now, Korosensei was probably doing unspeakable things to crustaceans, and I'd need to sit down for longer than thirty minutes to figure out how to modify my plans around this revelation. So, I wasn't going to worry about it for now.

"I'm thinking this could work," Chiba said.

"Yeah," Isogai said with a smile. "Alright, let's give her a test run. Get a feel on how she handles."

Y'know, I've never understood why people consider vehicles female. It's just a machine, getting me from point A to point B, it doesn't understand personal relationships. And yes, I did tend to label my computers as female, but given Yui and Ritsu, I think that's excusable. "It _is_ better to test it now than watch it break when we need it," Okajima pointed out.

Itona nodded and started moving the tank again. "Let's make it happen!" Okajima cheered.

The tank whirred down the hallway on its maiden expedition. Go forth and conquer, little tank. Conquer the hallway, the entrance to the staff room, the...

"See you later, Professor Bitch!" Yada called out, and the tank slowed to a halt right outside the staff room. Huh. So that's where the girls went.

"Bye, have a good one!" Nakamura said.

"Straight home, ladies, no detours," Professor Bitch told them. She was inside the room, and I could see a few girls walking out. "Understood?" Right in front of the tank. Which was low to the ground. And... could look up.

"Yes ma'am!" Kurahashi called back before running to catch up with the other two girls.

"Cool, let's get something to eat," Nakamura said, and I shook my head. Literally two steps away from the staff room.

Everyone in the classroom was silent, staring at the camera feed. "Right, didn't you just say..." Yada said, trailing off as the girls walked out of the camera mic's range.

"Did you see anything?" Okajima asked desperately, jaw tight.

Maehara gritted his teeth. "Not a lot," he said. "Ugh! This camera totally sucks. Its field of vision is way too narrow." This. This is my life now. This is what I have done with my life.

I put a palm to my forehead and sighed, shaking my head slightly. Where did I go so wrong?

"So?" Muramatsu said. "It's not the end of the world! We'll fit it with a bigger one!"

"That would increase the weight," Itona said. "Compromise mobility. Target acquisition could be more difficult." At the list of problems, Maehara growled under his breath.

"In that case..." The group of boys looked up at Takebayashi, who was standing thoughtfully with his hand on his chin. "We'll just install a fisheye lens on the camera we already have."

"Takebayashi!" the guys cried reverently.

Advisor: Kotaro Takebayashi.

"If we write a program that can correct image distortion in the data feed," Takebayashi continued, "even a relatively small lens can give us a wide field of view."

I was already searching on my phone about how fisheye lenses worked. They basically distorted the light captured to bend the image, forgoing the usual straight lines to show more of the image area. The problem was, the distortion made it difficult to tell exactly where everything was in a straight line; Takebayashi was suggesting that we find some way of unrolling the rolled-up image, essentially, and a program that would do so in real time with zero processing error. We'd just need to remap the image and project it onto a regular image, with the straight lines our eyes expect.

Hhhhhhgh.

"That's good," Okajima said. "Right. Fisheye lens with a big viewing angle. I've got it taken care of."

"Camera Crew: Taiga Okajima.

"Ritsu," Takebayashi said.

Ritsu woke up from her sleep mode with a soft _bloop_ and swiveled to face us. "Hello," she chirped.

"Can you build an image correction program for us?" Takebayashi asked.

Ritsu smiled. "Of course! I have no idea what you're using it for, but I'm on the job!" She saluted jauntily, and I shook my head. Taking advantage of her innocence like that, what cruel-hearted bastards you were. "Nick, you'll help, right?"

"Yeah, yeah," I sighed. "But seriously, this is ridiculous, what we need to do. It needs to calculate the correct location of the pixel in a geographical coordinates given their position in polar coordinates, which would involve determining the length of the R, which we could probably measure based on a simple Euclidean distance from the center of the image... and then we'd need theta, which would use the same exact values only calculating the tangent based on a zero of either straight down or straight up depending on the orientation of the lens..."

Huh. Maybe this wouldn't be so bad after all. I'll have to do some research...

Image Remapping Software Developer: Nick Weyr and Ritsu.

"Takebayashi," Okajima said, placing a hand on the boy's shoulder. They seemed like they were illuminated from behind by the blinding brilliance of righteousness. "You're a genius."

Takebayashi chuckled, and the group of guys surrounding Itona laughed as well, closing their eyes and bowing their heads slightly. "We _need_ to be able to record," Maehara said.

"Absolutely," Sugaya said. "We'll want to analyze the upgrades as effectively as we can."

I just rolled my eyes. These were, I had to remind myself, the exact same students that were morally offended over the idea of an octopus being an underwear thief.

Well, whatever, I was being contracted to do a job, and that meant morals went out the window for me. Sitting down with Ritsu, we got to work.

"In the name of assassination!" Maehara declared as the tank rolled to the doorway of the building. "Onward!" The tank surged out of the building, launching itself off the steps into the glorious sunlight and the world. "...Uh, Prototype Zero!" Maybe we should have named it.

The tank, like everything, obeyed gravity, and as such it landed with a clank and promptly rolled over on its side.

Also, maybe we should have figured out how to get the thing to turn itself right-side up. "Um," the guys said as one. The viewing screen turned to static.

"I'll flip it over!" Kimura said, dashing off.

High-Mobility Recovery Crew: Masayoshi Kimura.

"Yeah, sure," Maehara called to him. "Thanks, man!"

"There's not much in the way of a suspension system, apparently," Takebayashi mused.

"Leave it to me," Yoshida declared. "I know a thing or two about drive mechanics, and that'll work."

Drive System Planning Support: Taisei Yoshida.

"Doesn't the paint job on the chassis stand out like a sore thumb?" Okajima asked.

Takebayashi frowned. "That's _combat_ camouflage," he told Okajima. "Unless we want the target to see the tank from a mile away, we need it to blend in with the school."

"I got this." Dramatically, Sugaya lifted up a few paintbrushes. "Classroom camouflage," he said. "Consider it done."

Camouflage Manager: Sosuke Sugaya.

Maehara smirked. "We should chart out the territory at RC scale. It'll aim in better maneuvering. I'll draw us a detailed map."

Road Map Cartographer: Hiroto Maehara.

Cracking my next to take a break from working on the program, I took a step back next to Nagisa and Isogai. It's just... The drama level of this room had just spiked through the roof. "They, uh, really get into it when smut's on the line, huh?" Isogai said.

I shrugged. "He's _your_ best friend."

"It's kiiinda creepy," Nagisa said.

The next day, at six-thirty in the morning, I arrived at school and delivered the completed program chip to Itona. I sighed in relief; that program hadn't been too hard to bang out, given that we had to basically write it from scratch in hours. It got the job done pretty well, too. I didn't bother with documentation; future programmers working on this could eat me.

The others arrived and gathered around Itona, bowing their head in quiet glee that their plan was going so well. "'Sup," Yoshida called out, and we all turned to see him and Muramatsu approaching. They, too, were illuminated by some sourceless light. "Transmission's ready, I finished it last night."

"Oh," Muramatsu said, placing a large wrapped box on a nearby desk, and I blinked. His voice sounded deeper. ...Of _course_ it sounded deeper, would such an epic scene allow for high-pitched, not-dramatic voices? "I made us all breakfast."

Provisions Supplier: Takuya Muramatsu.

Okay, okay, he's given a free pass on account of free food. The rest of these idiots have no excuse, but I'm easily bribable.

"Hey," Sugaya growled. "Think it'll stand out now?" He placed the tank back on Itona's desk, and the uniform tan color had been entirely replaced by mottled greens and dark browns, the shades mixing and blending together in an eye-distracting array of colors and shades. The reason for that, instead of just painting it a uniform color, was to break up the shape. It was also why you wore patchy clothing instead of just all-black; random blacks and greys were something expected to see in the shadows, but the eye would pause on a human-shaped black patch.

The guys gasped in awe. "This is great and all, guys," Isogai said, "but, uh, you do get that this is for an assassination plan, right?" Oh, I'm _sure_ that was at the forefront of their minds the entire time. Nothing else at _all_. Like Ritsu, I am absolutely mystified as to the purpose of that fisheye-lens-remapping software I developed overnight.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever ya say, President Poverty, sure," Okajima said quickly. "Okay! Let's give this sucker a _proper_ field test before all the girls show up!" he said, clenching a fist.

"Yeah!" the guys minus me, Nagisa, and Isogai cheered, throwing their fists in the air.

"Funny how nobody's tardy on a day like today," Nagisa said, drooping.

"Except Karma," I pointed out.

Takebayashi adjusted his glasses. "Ritsu won't boot up until precisely eight o'clock. Nick asked her to stay asleep longer than usual. I didn't want her to see what we were doing."

When Nagisa gave me a look, I just shrugged. I'm innocent, I swear it. My virgin and also asexual mind can't comprehend the depths of depravity these boys might be trying to sink to, naturally! "Uh, yeah," Nagisa sighed. "Sure."

The modifications to the tank worked excellently - and I definitely didn't feel a little frisson of pleasure at the perfect camera image we were getting, definitely not - and the little exploration vehicle zoomed out of the E Class building and down a wooded forest path. Inside the classroom, the guys were all clustered around Itona, babbling and shouting advice at the same time. It made for a bit of a headache. "Step aside," Terasaka said, planting a meaty hand on Itona's head. Both of them were grinning despite the ruckus. "I wanna take a shot!"

Guess Nagisa didn't have to be worried after all - Itona seems to be fitting in with E Class well enough, looks like. Better than I did, at any rate; people were treating him like one of their classmates after a week, when it took me... how long, again? I can't remember. A long time.

"Smut, killing, making stuff," Nagisa murmured, "talk about hitting all the right buttons."

"You have a weird way of looking at things," I said to him.

"Itona," Isogai said, smiling. "This thing should have a code name. Seems only fair it should come from you."

Itona stared at him silently, then looked down at his controller. "I'll give it some thought," he said.

He seemed deep in thought for a while after that. Terasaka took the opportunity to muscle in on the controller and started driving the tank around. Naturally, he ran the toy into a rock nearly immediately. "Aw, it crashed," Maehara said. "Watch what you're doing, Terasaka!"

"Shut up!" Terasaka argued good-naturedly. "It's not my fault, it's the stupid controls! Hey, Itona, the lever's stuck, what's up with that?!"

Itona was smiling, though, despite Terasaka's elbow in his face. Whatever he was thinking, it was good, I guess.

Suddenly his attention snapped to the feed, and he frowned. I moved to take a look myself, and my stomach lurched in instinctive response to what I saw; a large shadow cast over us, followed swiftly by a massive bestial creature. After a second of not breathing, my heartbeat went back to normal as I reminded myself I wasn't in Aincrad and we _weren't_ fighting a boss monster completely unprepared. It just seemed like that because of the scale size of the RC tank. Speaking of which, what were we looking at, anyway...

"Is that an otter?" I asked in disbelief. They were supposed to be extinct in Japan, right?

"It's a monster!" Terasaka shouted. Maehara was gaping in horror as well. Immediately they started flailing with the controls and the tank zoomed away, only to stop and head back towards the monster, then away again, then back towards the otter, over and over again.

"Pull out!" Kimura shouted.

"No, fire!" Yoshida said.

The guns fired three times, three quick staccato bursts -

-and the pink Anti-Korosensei pellets just bounced off the stomach of the otter. I mean, seriously, what did you idiots _think_ was going to happen? It would just keel over and play dead because we shot it with a pellet gun? Of course nothing would happen. "Crap, the main gun's not strong enough!" Mimura shouted.

"It's okay," Maehara shouted back. "We'll tweak that too!"

I kept watching the feed, and I blinked before smiling. Oh, looks like I was wrong. Something _had_ happened.

They pissed off the otter.

With an enraged squeal it lunged, eyes glowing with malevolence and razor-sharp teeth and claws at the ready, and descended on our battle vehicle.

I winced as the feed abruptly cut out. That... That's probably not good, is it.

When Kimura returned with the tank, I winced again. Yeah, that was definitely not good.

The thing was in pieces, savaged by a mighty warrior filled with the power of righteous vengeance. Or, in layman's terms, a pissed-off otter. The gun was bent, the Anti-Korosensei pellet tube was ruptured, and almost all of the delicate electronics had been cracked, smashed, or damaged in some form or another. There were nasty claw-marks and dents in the paint and paneling on the sides, and pieces of the internal structure cracked and fell apart when Itona carefully took apart the separate pieces to see what was salvageable.

"Well, damn," Maehara said. "Outdone by a squirrely little weasel." That thing wasn't a weasel. I'm pretty sure, at any rate.

"Next time, we need to designate who's what," Okajima declared. I had to agree. Their organizational structure was terribly not so much organized, and that was the cause of the unfortunate fate of our first tank. "Which means first off, we need a gunner. Chiba?"

"Yeah," the sniper replied. "Sure..."

Gunner: Ryunosuke Chiba.

My, doesn't he sound enthused about this.

"It's alright," Itona said as he uncapped a marker and picked up the broken chassis. "Screw-ups are part of the process." He scribbled on the chassis. "We all agree Itona 1 was a dud," he said. "So, we'll just keep spinning until it gets stronger. I might fail a hundred times," he continued as Terasaka looked approvingly, "but I'll be sure to kill him before it's all said and done. You've got my back, right, guys?" He looked around at all of us. I just shrugged with a small smile.

"'Course we do!" Maehara said, giving Itona a thumbs up.

Our bloodlust has managed to form ties between everyone, and it's pretty damn strong. Blood is thicker than water, indeed.

"Okay!" Okajima said, stepping forward. "Back to the drawing board, men. We put our heads together, this baby'll be looking up skirts by March." Y'know, he started off strong, and then halfway through the second sentence he just got this perverted look and his voice went all... well, perverted.

Well, no matter. I just smiled widely in anticipation.

A firm hand gripped his shoulder, and Okajima turned to look. "Um," Kataoka said, "what's all this I hear about skirts?"

"Kataoka?!" Okajima whimpered. "It's not what you think!"

"It's exactly what you think~!" I called out, happily swinging my legs in the air as I sat on my desk.

"Nick you traitor!" Hey, I fulfilled the contract. At that point, my temporary dismissal of moral considerations ends - and by that, I mean I'm gonna stir up some trouble for entertainment. Okajima flailed for an explanation once Kataoka's glare doubled in intensity. "We were talking about the kind of skirts you put on cars!"

"Yeah, sure," Okano sighed, approaching the group of boys with Yada, Kurahashi, and Nakamura and flanking Kataoka. Oh hey, it was everyone that went to Professor Bitch's meeting yesterday, the ones that the guys were trying to peep on.

Yada shook her head. "Boys suck."

Kataoka didn't look convinced by Okajima's brilliant attempt at explanation. "Uh huh," she said. "And who's big idea was this? Itona, perhaps you'd care to tell me."

"Okajima," Itona said instantly.

"What?!"

With a soft _bloop_ Ritsu turned on, and I glanced at the clock. Huh. Eight, right on the nose. Guess I shouldn't have been expecting anything else, really. "Ah! Good morning, everybody," she chirped. "Oh, Okajima, did that program you wanted for correcting fisheye lens distortion work? Nick and I worked really hard on it!"

Instantly the three girls glared at Okajima, doom in their eyes. I'm just glad I'm apparently another one of the victims here, since all I did was work on a project. Probably helps that they... Wait, _do_ they know I'm asexual? I feel like it's probably come up sooner or later, but I can't really be sure since, y'know, it's not something I talk about.

"Hang on, it wasn't me, alright?" Okajima grumbled. "Tell 'em!" he pleaded to Maehara.

Who, true to form, averted his eyes. "Tell 'em what?" he asked innocently. "Don't try to pull me into this, you perv."

"You've got to be kidding me!" Stand still, Okajima, do not fly. Ambition's wages are paid.

"Guys," Isogai said, "we really oughta fess up."

The girls glared at every boy - except me! I was spared their righteous wrath, somehow. Probably because I had a girlfriend, now that I think about it - with their eyes promising death. Kataoka said, "Whether you do or don't, it's clear you're _all_ involved in this disgusting scheme."

"Boys make me wanna puke!" the girls proclaimed as one.

While the girls scolded basically everyone involved in this little fiasco - which was, essentially, everyone in the class except me, Nagisa, and Isogai - Karma sauntered in. "What's going on here?" he asked.

"Let's just call it a crime of passion," Nagisa said.

I, on the other hand, was a little more blunt. "They were all thinking with their lower heads," I shrugged. "The girls found out."

"Hm," Karma hummed thoughtfully.

I glanced over at the arguing. It was actually really impressive, the way the girls had naturally split off to harangue three or four boys each. "So it's true," Hara said, silently judging Sugino and Yoshida. "Boys really do only think about one thing."

Cutting a path through the chaos, Itona approached us. I guess he already got his lecture, or maybe he got off easy because he immediately sold out Okajima. "Karma," he said, stopping in front of us. "I'm gonna ditch class today. Where's a good spot to go?"

Or, maybe he's just executing a maneuver known as a strategic retreat. "Well, so you _can_ talk," Karma said. "Follow me."

"Hey!" Okajima and Maehara shouted as Itona walked off with Karma. "Where you going!" As he left, I noticed Itona was sticking out his tongue at them, even if he didn't look back. "Hold on!"

Pretty smooth, guy. I approve of your plan. Get the others in trouble and then get out before you're caught up in it. Nice.

Meanwhile, Nagisa was trying desperately to separate Okajima and Kataoka, since it was starting to seem like the latter might actually start inflicting violence on the former, and bloodshed was probably a bad idea. I just laughed at the chaos and went to sit with Ritsu, casually chatting with her about the night - how she'd slept, any dreams she remembered, stuff like that. I tried to dodge her questions in the same vein as best I could, but I'm not sure how well I succeeded.

* * *

"Ah," Kayano said, staring at Itona's book. "So that's what Itona means in kanji."

"Well, I think it's awesome!" Kurahashi said, smiling brightly.

"Yeah!" Kayano chirped.

Kataoka smiled. "Becoming thread. Pretty cool."

"It is what it is," Itona said. He sounded a little off-balance, which was pretty funny. "Lots of kids in the class have weird names."

Up front, Kimura sighed.

The girls, curious, started checking out the posters in the back of the room, where everyone had written a large version of the tentacle kanji. "Hang on a sec!" Kayano said suddenly, staring at one in particular. "Justice?!" I looked at the one she was staring at, and realized that it was Kimura's. Wasn't his first name Masayoshi? "I thought your name was Masayoshi!"

"Yeah, if you write it out in kanji," Kimura said. A few of us gathered around his desk to discuss this incredibly vital detail. "But my parents insist on saying 'Justice'. Korosensei's just nice enough to say it my way."

Sugaya shrugged with a grin. "When they called you at opening ceremonies, I got nervous hearing them yell, 'Justice'."

"Yeah, no kidding," Okajima said.

Kimura sighed and leaned forward on his desk. "I know, and when they do it again at closing ceremony it'll be even more public humiliation."

"Kimura's parents are both in law enforcement," Nagisa whispered to me. Hooray, backstory. "Turns out, they're both _very_ passionate about the fact that they're cops..."

"When I was a kid," Kimura continued, "I complained about having a weird name, but Mom and Dad would just get all upset at me. They didn't put a whole lotta thought into the kind of hell they were setting me up for once I started going to school."

I sighed and nodded. "I understand and sympathize with your pain. Having a weird name, and have people call you by it in public... It's the worst."

"Yeah," Kayano said, "I guess your name _is_ kinda weird, Nick. Not a lot of people in Japan have Western names, so you stand out."

"Yeah..." That's totally what I meant.

Fucking... I'm _still_ irritated about the Diamond Tactician! Seriously, it was a stupid name and I hate whoever came up with it in the first place. What idiot thought that kind of naming scheme would make sense! It's like they saw 'The Black Swordsman' and decided 'Let's do that except TEN TIMES WORSE'.

Ugh.

"You can't expect parents to have your best interests at heart," Hazama said, striding up to Kimura's desk and placing a heavy hand. "Does a cute name like Kirara go with this face?" she asked, leering menacingly at him. No. No it very much doesn't. "Seriously? My name makes me sound like a sparkly princess."

"Y-Yeah," Kimura said, trying to subtly lean away from Hazama.

"My mom lives in her own little fantasy world," Hazama said. "When the least little thing threatens to break the illusion, she goes into full-blown hysterics. You have any idea what it's like living in a house like that?" Everyone was staring at her blankly. Man, just... terrible parents all around, huh? "Well, it doesn't make living up to a ridiculously adorable name any easier."

"Getting saddled with a weird name?" Karma walked up to the rest of us. "How do you poor bastards manage to cope?"

The others stared at him, flabbergasted.

"What?" he asked. "Oh, come on. What's not to love about being named Karma? Both of my parents have pretty bizarre tastes, and I guess I inherited that from 'em."

"I'm with you there," I said. "Karma's a pretty cool name."

We high-fived.

While I might not like the title I'd been saddled with, I'm a fan of Rythin - which was pretty good, since I'd worn that name for almost four years now.

Kimura sighed. "Come to think of it," Korosensei said, slithering up to us, "I'm far from satisfied with my name.

Sugino looked up at him. "Hang on," he said, "I thought you liked being called Korosensei. Kayano gave you that name, didn't she?"

"It's because I like it that I'm not satisfied!" Korosensei exclaimed, before lowering his voice conspiratorially. "There happen to be two people in this very room who refuse to address me accordingly!" He turned to glare, and I looked over to see both Karasuma and Professor Bitch talking to students. They both stiffened. "At best, Mr. Karasuma talks to me with nothing but, 'Hey. Hey, you.' What are we," Korosensei sobbed in gloom, "a middle-aged couple?"

I grinned at the nonplussed look on Karasuma's face. "We're adults," Professor Bitch snapped. The students they were talking to were smiling weakly. "We don't say things like, '~Korosensei~' because it makes us sound like idiots." Karasuma groaned, and looked away.

"Here's a thought," Yada said, raising a finger. "We could call each other by specially-chosen code names, couldn't we?"

"Nope nope nope no thank you," I said reflexively before I even realized what she was saying. Ah... Aincrad has ruined me.

A few people stared at me awkwardly before losing interest. "Are you serious?" Isogai asked her.

"Yeah!" Yada chirped. "I mean, code names are actually kinda appropriate for this classroom. The assassins we met on the island all had one. Remember? They used them to keep their real names a secret." I still remember how stupid that second guy's name was. I mean, I guessed it by complete accident. "Personally, I think it made them sound really polished and professional."

"Yes, of course!" Korosensei said. "That's an excellent idea!"

At the start of our next class, Korosensei passed out slips of paper and placed a large colorful box on the podium. It had a hole in the top of the box, and was labeled Lottery Box. Gee, I wonder how this will work. "Here's what we'll do, then," he said. "Write down a suggested code name for each of your classmates and place them in the box. We'll call each other by whatever code names I draw out."

"Sounds like fun," Okano said, scratching her head, "but won't we have to do separate drawings?"

"I'm writing down the first thing that pops into my head," Muramatsu laughed. Beside him, Hazama chuckled darkly.

"Also, I should mention this," Korosensei added. His smile widened into a smirk. "For the rest of the day, real names are forbidden!"

"What?!" the class exclaimed.

Well. This is going to be interesting.

After drawing our code names, we all went out to the back of the mountain to participate in a hunting exercise. Our target was Karasuma, and we had to shoot him in the targets taped to his chest and back. Needless to say, it was a lot harder than it sounded - Karasuma was a freaking superhuman, obviously.

"Baseball Geek, come in Baseball Geek," my phone crackled. "Can we confirm that the target's on the move?" Sugaya. Code Name: Lanky Artist.

"Sorry, Lanky Artist, that'd be a negative." Sugino. Code Name: Baseball Geek. "Code Name Da Densest is still hiding out there somewhere in the pine trees. President Poverty's team will come up from the rear and chase him towards the swamp. When he's out in the open, Hot-and-Cold Sniper will take the shot." Hayami. Code Name: Hot-and-Cold Sniper.

I was placed on overwatch, keeping an eye on the various movements of our group and letting each squad know when they needed to be ready. Of course, that meant I had to be walking through the trees, constantly moving and giving updated information without letting Da Densest know I was there. At the moment I was working with Isogai - Code Name: President Poverty - to slowly tighten the noose around Da Densest's neck. President Poverty and his team were slipping through the brush, closing in on the target.

The target was crouched in the bushes, and President Poverty and his team took up positions behind the trees. I watched carefully as they prepared to put their plan into action - and then watched as Da Densest bolted straight towards them, managing to dart between them before they could react with more than just widening eyes. "Congratulations." Karasuma. Code Name: Da Densest. "You just let your target slip away from the scene."

"He's heading east," I said casually, following him through the trees at a distance. "Group four, that's you, so get ready. Group two and group one, be prepared, we don't know what direction he's gonna go after that."

"Shape up, Womanizing Scumbag," Da Densest scolded, looking back. Maehara. Code Name: Womanizing Scumbag. "I told you, always hold your gun at firing height."

"I'm not letting you get away," Womanizing Scumbag snarled. "Director Mushroom! Mistress Kanzaki! Fluffy Stag Beetle!" Mimura, Kanzaki, and Kurahashi, respectively. "He's headed your way!"

Fluffy Stag Beetle jumped out from behind the rock, leveling her gun. "Don't worry, we've got him!" she called out. Director Mushroom took aim but before he could fire, Da Densest took a sharp turn and juked straight into the bushes. "Ah! He pulled a fast one!"

"Took a right turn," I reported as I jumped through the trees. Yeesh... The only reason I could keep up was because of the hands-free headset I was wearing and the fact that we were in a forest. If Da Densest had been running anywhere other than this hill, I would have lost him ages ago. "Pseudo-Takaoka, you're up."

Terasaka. Code Name: Pseudo-Takaoka. His team was Yoshida, Muramatsu, and Itona. "Home Plate! Loofah! Picture-Book Graduate!" Pseudo-Takaoka snapped.

"I'm on it!" Home Plate called, running out to cut off Da Densest. I reported the changed course our target was taking, giving the information out to alert group one to get in position.

Their movements also kept Da Densest focused on the ground, forcing him to ignore the real threat. With careful aim, Pseudo-Takaoka squeezed off a shot. It hit home, but not very accurately; it nailed Da Densest in the corner of the target. A wound, but not a kill. "Oh yeah!" Pseudo-Takaoka cheered.

"Don't get comfortable!" Da Densest shouted. Somehow, he sped up even more and I groaned, throwing myself to the next tree. These flat parts are the _worst_. "Scoring a hit on me doesn't mean anything! It certainly doesn't mean you can get him! Poison Specs! Forever Flat!" he snapped, looking at the brush ahead. I glanced down for a second and saw Okuda and Kayano hidden in the bushes. Just... not very well hidden. "If I can see your positions, I can dodge your shots."

"He spotted us," Forever Flat gasped. "Dignified Didact, take over!"

Kataoka burst from the bushes and started running. "Alright," she said. "English Lass! Gender! You two get a move on!"

"Roger that!" Nakamura and Nagisa chorused, running behind her for a few seconds before splitting off.

In an instant Da Densest froze, eyes snapping to their firing positions, and the first round of bullets passed just in front of him. Panting heavily, I took a position in the trees and reported our location. The tactics we'd used should force Da Densest to stay in one place for a bit, so that let me catch my breath while the others implement the plan. More bullets struck the rock behind Da Densest, and he dodged all of them before jumping away.

They hadn't been compromised, but they still couldn't hit him. A shame. Dignified Didact's talents as a leader weren't to be underestimated; Gender and English Lass were close to getting him.

Further away Fuwa and Okajima were keeping their distance, limiting Da Densest's ability to move. Code Names: This Story is Amazing! and Terminal Perv.

I glanced down at the locations of the rest of our assets. Karma. Code Name: Semi-Senioritis. He was keeping watch over the rest of Da Densest's escape routes, keeping him from breaking out of our encirclement a second time. Judging by the positions... That meant Chiba would be taking aim. Code Name: Dating Sim Protagonist.

From the rocks above, a shot rang out as Dating Sim Protagonist took the shot -

-and the paintball splattered against a chunk of wood that Da Densest had grabbed instantly to block the shot. "Dating Sim Protagonist!" he snapped. "I told you, a sniper has to assume his target is _always_ on high alert!"

I smirked and gave the thumbs-up for go time. Da Densest acted exactly as expected; when a sloppy attempt was made, he stopped to scold the person responsible.

That left his back open.

That meant Justice could take him down.

Justice burst from the trees and dropped down behind Da Densest. As the chatter of paintball rounds firing filled the air, I let out a sigh and slumped against the tree. Ugh... I can't feel my legs...

"Nue-heh-heh-heh-heh," Korosensei laughed once we were all back in class. "How'd it go? Using those code names felt pretty good, huh?"

I'm going to kill this octopus. Though, honestly, 'Asshole Genius' as a code name wasn't the worst thing I could have gotten stuck with. "Actually," the class muttered, "it was kinda painful."

Poor Okano. Code Name: Amazing Ape.

"Scrunchies and Boobs?" Yada cried. "Really?"

"Try being called Amazing Ape all day," Amazing Ape sighed, lying her head down on her desk.

Korosensei paused. "Ah, yes, well, I see."

"Could someone explain what Box o' Moe means?" Ritsu asked, and I winced. She's far, far too adorable. We can't tarnish that innocence.

"Isn't it pretty obvious?" Hara asked, turning back to look at the AI. Hara. Code Name: Kunugigaoka's Mom.

Justice raised his hand. "Excuse me sir," he said. "My code name was just the same thing as my real one."

"Correct," Korosensei said to him. "Because I knew what you'd be doing in P.E. Given your agility, it was all but certain Nick would give you a special role to play. And considering the moves you showcased this afternoon, I'd say 'Justice' fits perfectly."

Fluffy Stag Beetle looked over to smile at him. "You bet it does!" Justice just hummed in thought.

Korosensei held up a form; I peered at it, and I could barely make out that it was a name change form. "Now now, rest assured, Kimura m'boy," he said, "if you don't like it, requesting a name change is simply a matter of filling out the right paperwork."

That just seemed... hard. But I guess so long as the reading was the only thing that changed, it wouldn't screw with any databases...

"Yeah, I guess you're right!" Justice said, brightening up.

"You should bear in mind, however," Korosensei warned him, "if you wind up being the one to actually assassinate me, I'm certain people are going to be quite gracious about your name. 'Justice indeed!', they'll say. 'Wow, what else do you call the man who saved the entire world, huh?'" I'm just more confused about the random drawl our teacher was using for the commenters. Justice put his hand to his chin in thought. "Honestly, there's very little significance to the names our parents give us," Korosensei said. "We don't choose what we're called. But we _can_ choose what people come to associate with it. Names don't make us who we are, they're merely part of what we leave behind as we walk through life. Footprints in the sand," he said. "That said, cherish them. If nothing else, for their potential! Justice, for example."

Korosensei lifted up the target that had been taped to Da Densest's back. Aside from Pseudo-Takaoka's one shot off in the corner, the splatters were all due to one person. "Why not hold on to that until _after_ the assassination? What do you say?"

Justice looked down, and then smiled. "Yeah!" he said. "I think I will!"

Korosensei's smile widened just a bit. "Now then," he declared, putting the target down and walking to the board, writing something with his back to us. "Since everyone got to use _their_ code names today, it's only fair that I divulge my own. From this point forward, kinda refer to me as follows..." He turned and dramatically revealed his new code name. "Prince of the Fateful Eternal Wind..."

He had this smug, self-satisfied smirk on his face. Instantly, I wanted to kill him more than I usually do.

The class stared at him in silence for a few seconds as everyone parsed what he'd chosen for himself.

"Why do YOU get to pick one that's all fancy-schmancy?!" Womanizing Scumbag shouted as we all opened fire on the octopus.

"And wipe that smug look off your face!" Scrunchies and Boobs snarled.

Korosensei shrieked as we tried our level best to murder him. "Come on!" he cried. "Just for one day, then! Please!"

And for the rest of the day, Korosensei was called by a very different name.

Korosensei. Code Name: The Octopus of the Idiotic Perverted Chicken.

"Octopus?!" he shrieked.

At the end of the day, everyone was packing up to leave. "Well, that was fun," Okano said as she and Kataoka walked out.

Takebayashi was packing up his books to leave. Code Name: Specs (lol).

"The code names thing was a blast," Nagisa said. "Maybe he'll let us do it again sometime."

"Hope so," Sugino said with a grin. "Riiight, Picture-Book Graduate?"

Itona glanced at him. "Shut your face, Baseball Geek."

Sugino laughed. "Call the burn unit."

"My code name doesn't even make sense," Itona sighed as Nagisa and Sugino grinned.

"Yeah!" Kayano snapped, stomping up to us. "And while we're at it, who's brilliant idea was it for Forever Flat?! Like that means anything."

Off to the side, Muramatsu hurriedly slipped his bag onto his shoulders and snuck out the room while whistling innocently. Heh. So he's the culprit. "So it _was_ you," Hazama said, looking at him. Hazama. Code Name: The Art of Darkness.

"To be fair," I said mildly, "I'm pretty sure ninety percent of the class put down that name for you, Kayano."

"Nick!" she yelled, glaring at me. She knew it was just playful teasing, of course, and that I'd accept anything in return.

"Hey, I never said _I_ did."

"Yeah, but you totally would."

"Well," Itona said, standing up abruptly, "I'll see you tomorrow. Hey," he said to Muramatsu. "I could go for a bowl of that disgusting ramen. Let's go."

Muramatsu laughed. "Not cool, man," he said as Terasaka's group walked off.

"He's fitting in with Terasaka's crew pretty well," Karma said.

"Sure looks like it," Nagisa said.

I mean, it was pretty close to how I treated most of _my_ family. Harsh words, cold denials, and demands that were met with good cheer and laughter. Guess some things are universal after all.

* * *

 **Hooray! Itona's not going to be ostracized for, y'know, being a jerk to everyone. That's good.**

 **This chapter was mostly spinning (heh) our wheels and not really going anywhere; it was mostly getting Itona into E Class and showing off how he interacted, along with Kimura's moment in the spotlight. The next chapter will be moving things along a little bit, don't worry. Still, AssClass has a weird split between 'normal' slice-of-life stuff and assassination arcs, and we just finished the Island Arc. Right now, it's best if the kids get to relax a bit. Nick especially; remember, when he has an episode, it takes a while for him to get back to normal.**

 **The first half was Itona and the guys going on the epic quest to… have an RC car peep up girls' skirts. Sigh. Nick just doesn't give much of a damn and he'll help out because he's bored. Plus, like always, he's a mercenary (he was paid in snacks and breakfast) and when he's got a contract he fulfils it to the letter. I always find it amusing that Nick kinda watches these people interact and then just tilts his head in confusion when it comes to this stuff.**

 **The second half was JUSTICE time. Also, return of Nick's angst about the title he got saddled with (no i don't know what i was thinking when i chose that name originally, i'm dumb okay) in Aincrad. Fun fact: he also put down Forever Flat for Kayano's nickname. He just tried to convince her he didn't. Also fun fact: Asshole Genius was the suggestion from Nakamura. Also also fun fact: When I originally planned this story, Kazuto was supposed to be with Nick in E Class – making an even 30 students – and Nick's nickname was supposed to be 'Diamond Tactician', just to mess with him. In revenge, Nick would have named Kazuto 'Mr. Hero'. The two would have glared at each other before grinning and laughing about it.**

 **Also remember, Nick very freely modifies how he thinks of people. It's easy for him to slip into calling people by their code names – especially given how he knows his group of family in real life AND the game, so he has to switch the method of address whenever they're in the game. I tried to make it clear who was referred to as what (either explicitly stating it, or using their real name in the order they were mentioned), but either way the lists are available online if you're curious.**

 **Weak points that Nick missed (I'm working off the manga listing, since the anime skips a bunch): 25 – weak against the occult; 26 – If he can't gather people he feels worthless; 27 – Tone-deafness; 28 – he sucks at hiding; 29 – gets carried away by official positions.**

 **Many thanks to everyone that favorited, followed, or reviewed.**

 **(related to last chapter, i imagine shino's ggo fanfic to be either 'surprisingly thorough how did the world get this way' or 'really mushy sinon and kirito/sinon and rythin take on the entire world power trip')**


	5. Leader Time

**Chapter 5: Leader Time**

* * *

See, most of the time I enjoy just kicking back and doing as little as possible on the weekends. I tried to get all my homework done before the school day ended, and let's face it, I didn't have to study to get good grades. Sundays were reserved for loafing around and being as unproductive as humanly possible.

That being said, when Nagisa called me, telling me all about some juicy intel that he'd managed to pick up, I dragged myself out of sweatpants and into actual outside clothes so I could go check it out. It's always worthwhile to learn more, after all, and what kind of student would I be if I were to reject Nagisa's last-minute invitation like that?

...Plus, he promised to buy me a small treat as a bribe. That was the clincher.

Once we arrived at the cafe, I gave Nagisa a flat, unimpressed stare. "You said you had new intel," I said. "This was not what I had in mind."

Kayano just pressed at my back, pushing me lightly. "You're still getting fed, just hurry up," she said.

It was six of us, snooping around for apparently the heck of it. Nagisa and Kayano were together like always, and Maehara, Kataoka, and Okajima rounded out the rest of our little squad. The bell above the door jingled as we walked in, and I took in the sights. "Huh," I said, nodding. "Pretty nice."

The cafe was small and cozy, with a calming shade of brown wallpaper mixing nicely with the wooden paneling that took up one half of the shop. Small paintings of still nature - a few forests, some rivers, so on and so forth - decorated the wall here and there, and little plants gave the place a splash of vibrant green.

Still, it wasn't the Dicey Cafe, and I shook my head to banish half-formed memories of baked beans and rain pounding on the window.

"Welcome to Kunugi-Kaze, my name is -" The waiter that had been greeting us blinked, and stopped short. "Oh, hey, guys," Isogai said. He looked rather dapper in his outfit, with a neat button shirt and black vest and slacks, a bowtie topping it off. "How's it going?"

"Pretty good, pretty good," Maehara said.

Since the cafe was pretty empty, we just grabbed seats where it was convenient - Maehara, Nagisa, and Kayano in one side of the booth, and then Okajima, Kataoka and I in the other, though I absolutely refused to sit next to Okajima - and Isogai poured us a few cups of fragrant tea. I wasn't a huge fan of the drink, I usually preferred water, but my time with Asuna had introduced me to the wonders a soothing cup could do for the body. I sipped at it and felt a few muscles relax as the warm liquid traveled through my body, leaving a comfortable warmth in my chest. Just a placebo effect, obviously, but relaxation was relaxation.

"Wow," Kayano said as Isogai walked away, heading towards the back. "He looks just like a prince!"

The bell rang again and Isogai turned around with a pleasant smile on his face. "Hi, welcome," he said. "Ah, yes! Good to see you both again. Mrs. Harada, Mrs. Itou." The two women were both middle-aged, but I guess they aged well? I don't know, how is this supposed to work? The only older women I knew was Yulier; I'd never met Agil's wife.

"Little Yuma, how are you?" the shorter woman said. She had a pearl necklace - probably fake, I'm guessing. For appearances, then.

The other one waved. "Now, you realize we come here more for _you_ than the coffee."

"Now now," Isogai smiled, "if the manager hears you say that, he's bound to get his feelings hurt." I watched with the rest of the group, transfixed. He was a complete natural at this - which, well, I shouldn't be surprised, given how he manages all of us idiots day in and day out.

Isogai led the two women to a nearby table for two. "So, the usual? Mocha for Mrs. Harada, double espresso for Mrs. Itou?" he asked, pen jotting notes on his order pad. "Care for a slice of chiffon cake? It's our special of the day."

"Oh yes, please, we'll take two!"

Isogai smiled. "Indeed, very good, ma'am."

Like, a natural at making other people like him. I bet he got _all_ the tips. All of them.

"Our leader's not just a man, he's a prince among men," Maehara observed drily as Isogai passed us.

"Ugh," Okajima grumbled. "I want him to die."

"You're really nursing that tea," Isogai said, swinging by our table. "Sure you don't want something else?"

Maehara folded his arms and grinned smugly at his best friend. "Actually, yes," he said. "Might as well get the most out of keeping your job secret."

Isogai grinned and raised a teapot. "Ah, I get it," he said. "Good old extortion, huh? This one's on me," he said with a wink and a raised finger to his lips. "Enjoy."

 _He's Prince Charming,_ most of us thought as we watched in awe.

I waved a hand idly. "Got any good donuts or ice cream dishes? Nagisa owes me a treat for making me actually step outside on my day off."

He laughed as he walked away. "I'll see what I can scrounge up, Nick."

Damn, he's a Prince Charming.

Other customers came and went while we sat and watched Isogai hard at work. Naturally, he had to clean up after them when they left, and he passed us laden with two trays with easily twenty different dishes stacked neatly. The trays clattered but didn't even so much as sway under the weight. "Look how much he can carry at once," Kataoka whispered. Okajima was watching with naked envy.

 _He's Prince Charming..._

"Sweetheart," one of the women said. Mrs... Well, process of elimination meant it had to be either Harada or Itou. I sure cleared _that_ up, high five brain. I'll call her Mrs. Flowers, since the dress she was wearing had flower print. "Don't tell me your poor mother's taken ill again."

"Well, you know," Isogai said. "It's just the two of us," he said with a wink, "so sometimes I have to help out in the financial department.

 _He's Prince Charming,_ all of us thought. I think Kayano was crying tears of... whatever they were.

Maehara nodded ruefully. "Yeah, the only negative thing you can say about him is he's dirt poor," he said. "'Cept somehow he makes even that look cool. Guy keeps his clothes so neat and tidy, you'd never know they were fresh off the bargain rack."

I'd seen him in a few casual outfits, mostly over the summer, and I had to admit, dude knew how to dress. _He's Prince Charming,_ the girls thought.

"Oh," Maehara added, "and did I mention he let me eat some of the goldfish he caught at the summer festival? Let me tell you, that boy can _cook_."

My eyes widened. "Those were the _goldfish_?" He'd tossed me a small bag of snacks when we first got back from summer break - or, uh, after I'd dealt with Asano's attempt to poach me - and they were incredibly delicious. "I thought... Holy carp."

 _He's Prince Charming,_ we all thought.

"Oh yeah," Maehara continued. Guess he has a lot of stories, since he's known Isogai the longest. "I went to the bathroom after him once, he'd fold the toilet paper into a triangle!"

 _He's Prince Charming,_ Kayano and Kataoka thought. It was all but written on their faces.

Okajima pointed to himself. "Uh, I fold toilet paper into a triangle too," he said. "Every time I go."

 _That's disgusting,_ Kayano and Kataoka thought. It was all but written on their faces.

...Hey, wait a second.

"Check him out," Okajima said. Mrs. Pearls was poking at the boy's stomach and saying something, while Mrs. Flowers and Isogai laughed. "Even middle-aged women dote on him."

 _He's Prince Charming,_ Kayano and Kataoka thought. It was all but written on their faces.

Nagisa's face fell. "Uh, middle-aged women in my neighborhood dote on me, sometimes," he admitted.

 _Who cares,_ Kayano and Kataoka thought. It was all but written on their faces.

...Black hair, surprisingly talented with a blade...

"Did you know Isogai gets love letters from the girls on the main campus?" Maehara told us.

 _He's Prince Charming,_ Kayano and Kataoka thought. It was all but written on their faces.

Then Kataoka paused. "Um, I get them too, actually," she admitted, blushing.

 _Forbidden love..._ all of us thought.

I grinned. "She's Princess Charming," I snarked, and Kataoka jabbed an elbow in my ribs.

...Incredibly popular with the women...

Oh how did I not make this connection before Isogai is just Kazuto except actually not socially inept. Gods damn it.

"Alas," Korosensei said, "some things are only cool when done by a cool person. Like Isogai! Or myself, of course."

 _He's Prince Cha-_

I turned in my seat to see Korosensei eating away at his cake. Wait. What? When did he get here? "What are you doing here?!" we all yelped.

"Their honey toast," Korosensei admitted shamelessly. "It's absolutely divine! Enough so that I can turn a blind eye to Isogai's illicit part time job." Oh yeah, that's right. Students weren't technically allowed to work per campus rules, which was why we'd been 'bribed' to keep quiet. "I'm not the least bit surprised," Korosensei said after a bit of the honey toast he was working on. "You're not the least bit irked at his being such an ideal man?"

"Huh? No," we all said.

Korosensei shifted. "Care to explain why not?"

"I don't get it," Nagisa said simply.

I shrugged. "He reminds me a lot of my brother. So, uh... I don't really care about playing second fiddle anyway?"

The rest of them looked at each other. "He, uh, he's too good a guy to be upset with?" Maehara said tentatively. We all nodded. Yeah, that sounds about right. It was hard to get upset at a guy for being perfect when that perfection includes giving me delicious desserts for free. "Do we need a better reason?" Korosensei just smiled at us.

The door opened again, and Isogai turned. "Hello, welcome!" he said as the customers walked in.

Instantly, I frowned. Ah, this could turn ugly... I recognized the uniforms worn by the people walking through the door, and more importantly, the people wearing said uniforms. "What's this?" the first one said mockingly. The second cackled.

"Uh oh," said the third. "Looks like the rumors about a student working here are true after all."

The Big Five. Back again. "Isogai, you're such a bad student," Science... Koyama, I think? said.

If it were just those four idiots, I could handle things. Just solidly intimidate them, then 'suggest' that they forget everything they saw. After all, I had better grades than them, and therefore was higher on the pecking order. Following them in, though, was a bigger problem - the son of the principal, and _technically_ a better student than me. "This is your _second_ violation of school policy," Asano said easily as he walked in. "I expected better. Oh, Isogai."

I took a deep breath and then sipped at my tea, keeping one eye on the brewing conflict. The others in the booth seemed tense, but I kept myself relaxed. I would, of course, be willing to join in if things came to blows, but for now it didn't seem like I would have to worry about it.

To avoid making a scene, we all stepped outside. I brought my little cookie treat with me and munched away happily, casually sitting on the brick wall right outside the cafe. Meanwhile, the others were having a tense standoff - Isogai and the six of us from Class E on one side, Asano and his four henchmen on the other. "The last time you were caught holding down a job, they punted you to E Class without a second thought," Asano said slyly. Well, it explains why Isogai was in E Class when his intelligence merited at least B Class; he'd broken the rules, so got slapped down hard as an example. "Such a shame. Have you done no soul searching since then?"

I munched on the cookie. It really was tasty. "Asano," Isogai said. "I'm begging you, keep this on the down-low. It's only for the month. I need the money. Please!"

"I don't know," Asano said, tilting his head. "Well, perhaps we can be gentlemanly about all this," he continued, raising a hand to his chin in thought.

I snorted, licking at my lips to catch any stray crumbs. Really? He's trying this angle again? And it's worked out for him _how_ many times in the past, again? Still, it was a little unnerving; whenever Asano thought he had the upper hand, or a plan, he became the exact likeness of Principal Asano. "Very well then," he said. "I'll keep your dirty little secret. On condition... that you show me your fighting spirit."

Isogai blinked. "My what?"

"I think you heard me." Asano lightly thumped his chest where his heart would be. "Our school has a proud tradition of revering those who can hold their own," he said, smiling like an angel. "In class _and_ life. Ample fighting spirit earns enough respect to forgive a flagrant conduct violation. And to show that spirit..."

After he told us his condition, I sighed and stood up, brushing at my pants to catch the crumbs. Honestly, he really was an idiot. I'd try to taunt him into a bad position, just like last time he'd tried to make a deal with E and A Class going head to head, but I knew he was smart. He'd been humiliated the first time, and he wouldn't let me get away with that again. So, much as I'd like to get a few good jabs in, I'd just have to wait and show him just what a mistake it was to mess with us.

He probably thought that E Class, being the lowest of the low, would have no athletic capabilities to speak of.

...

The next day, we called an emergency class meeting to explain exactly what had happened. "Pole toppling at the sports festival?" Sugino asked.

"Yep," Maehara said. "If we can beat A Class, they'll let Isogai off the hook."

The guys - since the event was male-only, the emergency meeting was just us - hummed in thought for a few seconds, mulling over the situation, before Terasaka finally snorted. "Tch. You do know it's a trap, they're obviously out to humiliate us."

"What are we supposed to do?" Sugino asked. "We say no, Isogai will get penalized again. And not a slap on the wrist, either." Heh. Amazing how being in E Class had turned into a slap on the wrist. "He could get expelled."

"So what?" Isogai said, the first thing he'd said. Before this, he'd been sitting in his desk, staring at nothing. "I don't want you guys involved. Terasaka's right, Asano's got something up his sleeve." He turned around and smiled brightly at us. "Besides, I'm the one who made this choice. I'll take responsibility for it myself. Let theme expel me. Nothing says I can't stage an assassination off campus."

We all stared at him in varying degrees of visible shock. Nagisa and Sugino's jaws had dropped, while I had raised _both_ eyebrows. "Wow," we all gasped. "What a...

"...TERRIBLE IDEA!" we shouted. Isogai jerked, startled.

"You impoverished cowlicked bastard!" Sugaya shouted as people were throwing things at Isogai. I saw Nagisa throw a crumpled-up piece of notebook paper, an unimpressed look on his face; I also saw Karma with a sly smirk, tossing a tube of spicy mustard. Oh, Karma. You are the sadistic rock in this sea of junior high chaos.

"What do you mean, cowlicked?!" Isogai yelped. _That_ 's what he takes offense to?

Maehara grinned, stepping up to Isogai's desk. "You're overthinking it, man," he said. "Knock it off. Look," he said, "the only thing we gotta do is beat the nerds at pole toppling." He slammed an Anti-Korosensei knife onto the desk with a loud slam. "We got this in the bag!"

"'Course we do," Mimura said, walking up and placing a hand on the knife. "Hell, I'd say we're lucky the jerks caught you working."

"Golden opportunity," Terasaka said. "We can pay 'em back for some of the crap they're always dishin' out to us."

One by one, the other members of the class walked up to his desk and placed their hand on the knife, adding their own well-wishes - or, uh, would it be death-threats? "C'mon, Prince Charming," Sugino said.

"You guys," Isogai said. The rest of us that couldn't reach the knife, or in my case didn't want to do this stupid team-bonding crap, clustered around the desk. "Alright!" he said. "Let's do it!"

"Yeah!"

Yeah, okay. He really was like Kazuto. That strange personal magnetism that drew people into his orbit and led us to naturally follow him wherever he led.

Korosensei slithered in from wherever he'd been watching us, and I saw Karasuma by the door. He wasn't swept up in the energy in the class, and I drifted over. "Something wrong, sir?" I asked him.

His eyes brushed over me before he went back to staring into his memories. "This event," he said softly, "won't be so much assassination - as war. The relative size of your team can be a major setback. You kids might be well-trained, but A Class has 28 to your 17. That's almost two to one." I couldn't help it; I started laughing a little bit. "What's so funny?"

"Oh, nothing," I said wryly, shaking my head. "Ah... A war, is it? A war... against an army with superior numbers, where loss means total annihilation."

I cracked my knuckles. "It's like I never left."

* * *

The athletic festival arrived soon enough, and it was a bright, temperate day. Perfect for sports; I wouldn't be exhausted from the heat, or from the cold.

The first events were the races, though I wasn't participating in any of them. The starting pistol went off - I was proud of me, only briefly twitching for where my knife was usually strapped - and the runners in the race took off. Kimura, of course, immediately pulled ahead effortlessly. "A painful development for the hundred meter dash!" the announcer cried out. "Classes A, B, C, and D have all lost the lead! Elites of our school, don't let them beat you!"

While the others laughed, Sugino grinned and said, "Even during the athletic festival, we're the away team, huh?"

"Don't worry," Isogai told us, before glancing over his shoulder. "We have fans too."

"Woo hooo!" Korosensei called out, snapping pictures constantly from the spectator's seats. "Great job, Kimura! Show them how it's done!"

Korosensei Weakness Number Thirty-One: Not related, but acts like a proud parent.

The other members of the class were watching him with mild uneasiness and despair. Okano just seemed frustrated by all of this. "That's the way! Smile big for the camera! Go, Justice!" Korosensei cheered. At least he was wearing a track suit and a blanket to cover up his inhumanity, though I'm not sure how others haven't picked up on the whole being yellow thing.

Of course, Kimura was our fastest runner and it wasn't a surprise that he was doing incredibly. "Uh, Mr. K," Kurahashi said, staring at the field, "for the track competition, everyone except Kimura is struggling." I watched as the track and field club runner passed Yada despite her best attempts, taking first in that race. "And we were so confident because of our assassination training," she sighed.

"Of course," Karasuma said. "We haven't done any training to shorten your dash by even two or three seconds. Those who specialize in running quickly on an open space will be faster." He nodded. "You guys aren't perfect. Take that to heart. But," he continued, "the results of your training will show in unexpected places."

The next race was starting; some sort of challenge race, I'm pretty sure. It was the event where they had to catch the bread in their mouth and eat it without using their hands at all. I watched as Hara - one of our slower runners - approached the bouncing, bobbing line. Her eyes gleamed for an instant and she sprang, catching the bread in a single try. It was like she was an orca leaping for her prey.

She landed, stood up, and then slurped the bread down effortlessly. "Might as well be water," she said, calmly walking up and passing the finish line. "No problem."

"That's so cool," everyone gasped.

"Indeed," Korosensei said. "Assassination has improved overall fitness, equilibrium, hand-eye coordination, and depth perception. And this extraordinary competition will certainly showcase them all."

Maehara and Okano were certainly working well together, especially in the three-legged competition. "Watch your hands!" she snapped at him, slapping at his chest to get his hand off her hip. Despite their bickering, they were leaving the competition in the dust.

When it was Kayano's turn, she went up for the obstacle course. One obstacle involved a net lying on the ground; while the other students in the other classes were struggling to get through the tangled mesh, Kayano just slipped under it and slithered through unimpeded. "Holy crap!" one of the announcers shouted. "That shorty can really move!"

"Her body's so... aerodynamic!" another one shouted.

Poor Kayano.

Itona, on the other hand, was stumbling through the scavenger hunt part of the contest. He ran up and grabbed Professor Bitch from the sidelines, tugging her with him as he read the note.

...

"What were you looking for?" I asked him once he finished up his event.

"Something past its expiration date," he said.

"Hah. So mean, and yet, so accurate."

...

"You move to the beat of your own drum," Korosensei continued. "An important advantage. Remember that when it comes to pole toppling, m'boy. Victory," he said, looking at Isogai, "is entirely up to you."

Isogai was staring nervously at the pages of the strategy book he and I had put together last night, all traces of his energy gone. "Something wrong?" Korosensei asked.

I moved away, mindful of what Korosensei had told me the last time I listened in on a conversation not meant for me to hear. Instead, I went to examine our competition - the A Class boys. It was, actually, the tug-of-war between A and D Class. "Ready!" the announcer cried. "Go-?!"

The instant the referee started the match, the entirety of Class D went flying in the air. They landed in heaps with cries of pain and surprise. Normally, I'd be thrilled to watch Fatso and Lizard crawling in the dirt, but that was just a peripheral bonus to my examination.

"They're too strong!" the announcer shouted. "A Class is the winners! They should probably thank their lucky stars! It's only by chance that these four foreigner students have come for a training abroad program!"

I snorted. Chance? Yeah, right. This had Asano's fingerprints all over it. Or maybe it was just chance that four massive, almost professional-level athlete students came to visit, just when it was going to be A Class versus E Class?

They were all from different countries, and to a man were gigantic. Like, I probably only came up to their chest. "Heh," one of them snorted. He was the American, I think. Tall, blond hair, the basic movie star package, really. "The Japanese are just weak."

"They're a fragile race," another one said. He was Korean, and even taller than Captain America over there...

...

We'd expected Class A to try to pull something, so we'd sent Itona II out on a scouting mission. That one contained an audio recorder, so even though we couldn't _see_ what was going on, we could _hear_ it once the car returned safely. "They're so big," one of the Big Five said. I think it was Seo? No, he was the one with the stupid haircut, right? No, wait, I think it _was_ Seo. He was the asshole one. "Are these guys really fifteen years old?"

"Yeah," Asano said. "Camille is the next generation's ace at a famous wrestling gym in France. Sang Hyuk is a rising star in the Korean basketball world." I heard a bang of flesh on wood. "Jose is the son of an international fighter from Brazil."

"O-h," Koyama said weakly, "a cleft chin. Me too-"

"And there's Kevin," Asano's voice said, cutting over the chatter. "The American National Junior Football representative. They are all legitimately our age. If I hid ages, we'd have even more stalwart friends, though. But I'll abide by the rules of common sense."

Damn it. If we had a recording of him admitting guilt, that would be a silver bullet - but oh well. "Everyone," Asano continued, "this pole-toppling contest we're supposed to do with Class E - our top priority is not to bring down their pole. If we include our reinforcement, our numbers will be double theirs. And considering battle strength, we can take down their pole at any time. You know," he said, his voice going a little darker, "I want to use this to make Class E reflect on themselves. Most of the students are troublemakers. I won't say who, but there's even one who continues to secretly break school conduct guidelines. For the Class E that does these things," he said, voice nasty, "we'll have them properly reflect on their actions before bringing down their pole. Of course, we will abide by the rules, and do this fair and square. Besides," he added. "We're all frustrated from the final exams here. 'Before the midterms, I want to pay them back, just a little.' I won't blame you if you all feel that way.

"Now then," he said. "I will begin to give out each individual's duties. If you follow my orders without question, we will win for sure."

After that, they moved to the gym for secret training. That was the end of the useable audio.

I just shook my head. Naturally, he didn't just want a challenge. He wanted an example.

...

At least we knew what we were up against. I noticed Korosensei taking a picture, and drifted back over as other members of E Class jumped in to take a picture with our Glorious Leader. "You've got Asano beat in one very important respect already," Korosensei said. "The ability to inspire confidence in your comrades. Should you find yourself between a rock and a hard place," he said, "there'll be quite a few people rallying to help you."

As he said that, he tied the white bandanna on Isogai's head. "You have the gift of personal magnetism," Korosenseis said. "And between you and me, I'd much rather have a fellow like you as a student than Asano." It was amazing, the way his small eyes and omnipresent smile could fluctuate just enough to show just how much he cared about his students.

Isogai stared, then let out a small sigh. "Alright!" he said with a smile. "Guys, like always, we're going into this with guns blazing!"

"Yeah!" the class shouted, preparing for battle.

"Next up," Araki said - oh, right, he did announcements, didn't he? - "we have an exhibition match. E Class must be feeling lucky, folks, because they've challenged A Class to a battle. Something tells me Kunugigaoka's elite will make them live to regret it."

I'd seen the four transfer students on the field before, of course, but that didn't change just how _big_ they were in person. "Wow," I said quietly. "This really _is_ just like Aincrad."

"What's that?" Nagisa asked me.

I just shrugged. "Don't worry about it, long story. Now, ready to do this?"

The announcer went over the rules for the contest, but it was normal rules. Goal was to bring down the opponent's pole first; we were allowed to grab people, but punching, kicking, and use of weapons was prohibited. The only exception was the one person guarding the pole; he could use his feet to chase people away. Also, apparently arms and shoulders could be used to tackle people.

In other words, I couldn't just punch these idiots in the dick and then keep moving. A shame, really, it would have made evening the playing field a lot easier.

"Furthermore!" the announcer said, and my eyes narrowed. "In order to clearly differentiate between the teams, Class A will be wearing hats and long sleeves!"

I snarled under my breath as A Class started shrugging on jackets and strapping on protective headgear. "Those aren't hats, they're headgear," Sugino pointed out wryly.

"In other words, it's okay for them to have defensive gear, huh?" Okajima sighed.

Seriously, this was just obnoxious.

As A Class took their formations, I shifted tracks and blinked once, slowly, to trigger Future Step. It didn't change a thing, naturally, but the familiar pattern triggered something in my mind to keep me calm in the battle. I scanned the formation, picking out groups of students; three main offensive groups of five, with the American in the middle. Four more groups of two were standing guard as flying units for mobility, two of which contained the Korean and the French student, and the rest of the students were surrounding the pole. Naturally, Asano was both the leader of their group and the one on top of the pole formation.

That formation told me a lot. Asano knew we would lose against their numbers in an all-out war, so for him that meant we'd have to abandon the defense and attack. The formation he'd chosen was designed to prevent that; with three iron walls and four reinforcements, we'd be hard-pressed to get through his units, let alone attack his main defenses.

Of course... We were E Class. We didn't play by the normal rules of common sense. And what was more, I was _used_ to going up against massive monsters with overwhelming power. This wasn't anything new to me.

So we made _our_ move.

"Ultimate Defensive Form," Isogai called out, and we all moved. Every single guy was on the defensive, clustering tight against the pole. Isogai was our leader and the one standing on our shoulders. I could feel the mocking smile of the invulnerable Korosensei echoing from our formation, even though we were staring straight ahead.

"Okay," Araki said, "looks like E Class is going all-in on defense. Are they cowed by the gap in skill?" The starting pistol fired, and none of us so much as flinched. "Whatever they're thinking, let the games begin!"

Come on, now, Asano. Show us your skills. Come and get us, boy.

«Offensive line, go! Plan F!» Asano shouted, thrusting his hand forward.

«Roger that!» the American shouted back, starting to charge forward. Oh, no, a big brute is charging us, whatever _will_ we do...? I rolled my eyes. Asano was doing his best to initiate his plan by probing us with the might of their big attacker. If we attacked, spooked by Kevin's power, he'd probably just surround our attackers. If we doubled down on our defense, sending a few students to deal with the offensive wing, then the other students in Class A would naturally take advantage of our distraction and surround us at our pole.

It was, in fact, fairly airtight. Almost impressive; I'd done much the same back in Aincrad. Force the boss into a simple binary choice and have a counter for each branch to ensure that the strategy worked no matter what.

Too bad you can't pin E Class down to just two choices.

"Uh, guys?" Sugaya asked desperately at the sight of the charging American.

"Damn it!" Yoshida shouted. He and Muramatsu broke from the defensive line and charged Kevin and his group.

"We're not gonna roll over and take this!" Muramatsu shouted.

The two E Class students met with Kevin a little bit away from our pole. The football star wasn't even slowed down; he grappled with them for an instant before shoving them away and tackling them, sending them flying with a shoulder to the gut.

"Ooh," I winced, "that looked like it might have hurt."

"Two men down!" Araki called out, not even trying to hide his glee. "And not just down, flung to the bleachers!" Yoshida and Muramatsu were lying in heaps by the audience.

Kevin approached us while we were all staring at where those two had ended up. «How 'bout instead of tryin' to hold the line like a bunch of turtles,» he said, and our attention snapped back to him, «you step up and fight?»

A smirk pulled at his lips. Eh, I could probably win? My instincts were giving me fifty-fifty, and this was bare-handed. With a weapon, I could take this gorilla down no problem. «Or don't you know the meanin' of the word?» he asked.

«Hey pardner,» Karma said, matching the guy's southern drawl almost perfectly, «why donchu stop yammerin' and follow yer own advice?»

I sighed, lightly shoving at Karma. "Karma, you're a pain, you know that?"

"You know it's fun," he said back.

"I mean, yeah, but still. «Leave the poor idiot alone, he's allowed to be frightened of us. Not like he'll win,» I said, switching to English to taunt our opponent. I didn't even bother trying for the accent.

«Bring it on, man,» Kevin said. He glanced off to the back, and Asano gestured with a thumbs down. Given the signal, Kevin lowered his head and charged us with a shout.

Oh, good. Asano _is_ the one they look to before making a move. I'd figured, but it's nice to have confirmation.

"Okay, guys, now!" Isogai shouted. "Operation Tentacles!"

Just as Kevin reached us, all of us in his path sprang up in the air. I laughed gleefully as the entire attacking force stared up at us in confusion before we crashed back down right on top of their backs - and to make things even better, Kevin was trapped under the weight of the idiots in his squad.

"Pin them down!" Isogai shouted, and Itona hopped up on our pole.

It tilted down until it was about halfway toppled over.

"Unbelievable!" Araki shouted. "The E Class team is pinning down A Class's offensive line with the weight of the pole!" Heh. Get wrecked, idiots. "They're playing dirty!"

Terasaka grinned nastily, holding the pole up even while the football guy flailed, trying to get enough leverage to push himself off. Too bad for him, the combined weight of the pole and about ten people was enough to keep him pinned down. "Tough luck, big guy," Terasaka said, "but there's no rule against us using the pole as a weapon."

«Get the hell offa me!»

"Shut up and stay down!" Terasaka snapped.

I could tell Asano was barely rattled, though, since he was calmly surveying the battlefield position from the top of his fortress. Of course, he had a point; we managed to use five of their members to fortify our own position, but at the same time we were devoting seven people to the defense. Add in Yoshida and Muramatsu, and that meant our losses were nine to their five, when we needed the proportions to be the other way around. "Guerilla team, plan K," he said, waving. "Both flanks, move in!"

The two other squads started moving in on, charging. There was a gap in the middle, and Isogai clearly saw it. I considered the situation, then shook my head. No need to change any of our tactics at this point. Besides, at this point it was Isogai's show; I wasn't _really_ a battlefield commander, after all. "Alright, let's do it!" Isogai shouted. "Look alive, men! Operation Mucus Hell!"

"Yeah!" we shouted. Seven of us charged forward; Isogai, Maehara, Okajima, Kimura, Sugino, Karma, and myself.

As we charged for the A Class's main formation, I saw Asano smirk cruelly. We passed the two charging squads and my instincts flared to life, warning me of danger. I spared a glance over my shoulder and nodded. Like we'd anticipated, this had been a trap to lure us into their center and destroy another group of our attackers. I'd pulled off the same, and it made sense; gather aggro on mobs, then retreat and have your waiting flanks ambush them, only in reverse. "Oh ho!" Araki crowed. "A classic bait and switch!"

"They pulled a defensive fake-out!" Okajima gasped.

The seven of us came to a halt as A Class's second line closed around our front. We weren't getting through that way. Or, well, we _could_ , but then we'd be stuck between a rock, a hard place, and an even harder place. Not a great situation. Plus, those three foreign students were waiting, the linchpin of their defense. If we got in close range, I could see us easily being injured 'on accident'. I had no doubts Asano had given his students orders to injure us 'on accident' so badly that we wouldn't be recovered in time for midterms. He wasn't a half-bad commander, really. If the situation had been reversed, he'd be putting up a hell of a fight. But the situation _wasn't_ reversed; it was Class E versus Class A.

Well, I guess this wasn't really my area of expertise, all things considered. It was always one versus the many, not many versus many. I suppose I should be a little grateful to Korosensei, in this case...

...

I sighed harshly, staring at the ceiling. Isogai and I were sitting at his desk, working on plans for the pole-toppling competition with Korosensei. "Ugh," I groaned. "And after I bragged to Karasuma, too. Now I feel like an idiot." I, well, I just didn't have any experience forming a plan where a group of players were pitted against an army of equal individual strength and greater numbers. If I'd ever needed to deal with a group of mobs, they were always weaker than us, and my tactics made sure we were always in a position to strength. "Man..." For lack of a better phrase, all of my prior experience was specialized for many against one, with the one being overwhelmingly powerful. Like dealing with Korosensei.

"Not to worry, m'boy," Korosensei told me. "In times like these, you should look to history for your guide. Now, on the subject of defeating an enemy twice your size, you can find an excellent example in Hannibal of Carthage."

"Ah, yes," Isogai said, starting to scribble in his notebook. "Called the Scourge of Ancient Rome."

I frowned in thought. "He's the guy who incorporated war elephants, right? And led his army through the mountains to attack from the enemy's unguarded flank and rear?"

"Correct!" Korosensei said, turning orange with the ding-dong sound. "He led his troops time and again, popping up where the opposing forces were least prepared. His defense strategies were clever, his weapons innovative. The lesson here is that a good tactician thinks unconventionally. Successful schemes are often guided by a _touch_ of the eccentric."

I couldn't help it. I tried not to, I really did, but laughter ripped out of me. While Isogai and Korosensei watched on, my hysterical laughter brought me to the point of tears as I toppled out of my chair, clutching at my stomach.

"Is he going to be okay?" Isogai asked Korosensei.

When I finally managed to control the hysterics, my breathing ragged and hoarse, I picked myself up and sat back down in my chair. "S-Sorry," I said weakly. "It's just... a long story."

Heh. A touch of the eccentric, he says. I guess madness can stand in for that in a pinch.

...

The seven of us looked at each other, then nodded. The forces were starting to close in, the noose tightening around our necks. "Let's aim for 3-D," I said brightly.

Now, see, I might appreciate the strategy Asano came up with, and I'm no stranger to physical pain, but I try to avoid it wherever possible. So, the seven of us took off running, pushing ourselves full-tilt. The A Class students were stomping along right behind us as we approached the second line-

-and then we curved, slipping out the side. The A Class students wheeled to follow us and we just kept turning, running towards the edge of the grassy area.

We hit the running loop - and didn't stop.

My eyes glittered with excitement. Fatso and Lizard were watching the match, sneers on their faces - and oh, hey, was that _potato_ chips in Fatso's hand?

"Watch out!" someone from D Class shouted as they scattered. We didn't hesitate when we hit the edge of the arena, the students hopping over the divider. Karma, being Karma as always, turned around to casually lounge on the wall before flipping over right as the A Class foreign students approached, dodging them with just enough time to spare.

Fatso was slow to run away and I hopped over a few chairs, landing right in front of him. He yelped, skidding to a halt, and I casually stole the bag of potato chips from his hands before taking a leap onto the next row of chairs to dodge an A Class student's swiping grasp.

Honestly, he needed to watch what he ate. These potato chips are just fat and salt. Really, I'm doing him a favor, actually.

"The E Class team has fled the playing field and is running amok among the spectators!" Araki shouted. "Total chaos!"

We were all dodging easily, used to keeping our balance on even worse footing than the folding chairs. My footwork was calm and collected, making sure that I kept my new snack safe from harm. When an A Class member tried to tackle me I just casually hopped to the next row, letting the idiot dive among the chairs I'd been standing on previously. To the side, Maehara and Kimura were leaping constantly, never staying in one place for too long.

Karma jumped away just as the Frenchman tried to grab for him, and landed neatly on one of the chairs, one foot on the back and the other keeping his balance on the seat. «Hey,» he said with a mocking grin, «there're no rules about boundaries.» I landed beside him, munching on a handful of the potato chips like this was just any old day and crouching on a folding chair was my regular routine. «C'mon! Whatcha waitin' fer? The whole school's a battlefield!»

"Seriously?" I asked him. "What's with the accent? Captain America's still pinned over there."

«Guess I just kinda like it,» he said, still in English.

«You're a pain sometimes,» I reminded him as I rolled my eyes. Then the two of us jumped away; I used one of the prone A Class members as a springboard, landing on the small of his back for a second to keep him down before strolling casually towards the edge of the seating area, where the idiot spectators hadn't run away yet.

Stomping and the panicked faces of the other students clued me in on the danger I might be in, and I jumped forward and turned to see one of the foreign students charging me. With a mocking grin I waved before reaching for more chips; just as he was about to slam into me I dodged out of the way, landing on the chairs beside me. The student that had been right behind me shrieked with fear and panicked, running away from the giant bearing down on him. "Sloppy, sloppy," I said with a sigh, shaking my head. "Now, that's just embarrassing. Whoop!" I exclaimed as another A Class student grabbed for me. "Too slow!"

"What are you doing?!" one of the A Class students shouted. "Damn it, quit screwing around, guys!"

"Akabane!" I heard Asano shout. "Kimura! Isogai! Weyr! Those are the four to watch!" Aw, how sweet, he considers me dangerous. At least he's got good taste in opponents, I suppose. I swung my legs around a chair and crumpled up the now empty bag of potato chips, tossing it in the face of one of my pursuers and forcing him to slow down, causing a pile-up behind me as the rest of my pursuers didn't react in time.

Yeah, _technically_ that might be cheating, but I don't care. As long as they don't call me on it, I have no problems cheating like a motherfucker.

"Isogai!" Karma shouted, jumping seats and landing catlike on another chair. "It's about that time!"

"Yep," Isogai said, straightening up after dodging another rush. "And so far, it's all going to plan."

I grinned, landing on the edge of the spectator ring closest to Asano in D Class, and waved mockingly. His eyes widened as he realized we'd planned all of this the entire time.

That was when Yoshida and Muramatsu burst from the spectators - behind Asano. They raced forward and leaped, slamming into the boy and grabbing at his coat. "What?!" Araki shouted into the announcement mic. "Where'd those two come from?!"

I chuckled smugly. Those two had practiced taking punches for a long time, and that fall earlier had been as controlled as we could make it. It was an excellent way for us to slip sleeper agents into the crowd without being noticed; Asano could pick out the dangerous opponents at a glance, but even he didn't have eyes in the back of his head. If he wasn't looking, he couldn't see the danger he was in.

"Right, we're done running!" Isogai shouted, getting up on the divider again. "E Class! Go sonic!"

"Yeah!" we shouted, immediately breaking free of our pursuers and bolting over the divider ourselves. We could have done this any time, really, we just needed Yoshida and Muramatsu to make their move.

As we raced toward the A Class pole, I got the gratifying sight of Asano glaring at us, that smug look wiped from his face. We distracted them with the chaos until the sneak attack was sprung, and now we're using the chaos to rush the main unit - that, coincidentally, has no more mobile defenders. That's our game, Asano.

"Ooohhh, they got right up in their grill!" Araki shouted. The seven of us easily mounted the mobile defense, clambering over the A Class supports to reach for Asano.

"How you like _that_ , Asano?!" Yoshida shouted. "There might not be many of us, but it only takes one to reach the top of the pole!"

Asano, glaring flatly, tossed his headgear aside. My eyes narrowed.

The boy reached up and grabbed Yoshida's hand where the boy was grabbing his coat. With a series of swift, violent moves, Asano bodily flung Yoshida from the pole using the boy's own weight against him. Without hesitation, Asano jumped up and used the pole as a pivot to slam his feet into Muramatsu, kicking the would-be chef away.

Martial arts, huh? My eyes narrowed and my pulse raced. Asano perched on the top of the pole, looking down at us. "We happen to be standing on the same stage, you and I," Asano growled. Looks like he's pissed off~. "Tell me," he said, and my lips curled in a savage sneer. "Are you so big a fool you don't expect to be kicked off?"

This. _This_ feels like the final boss. Just like his father.

He was smart, too, keeping mobile by bouncing around, one hand on the pole at all times, and taking strikes wherever he could get them. With the restrictions on our counterattacks, we were forced to just block his kicks wherever we could. I tried my best to get up towards the pole where his kicks would be less effective, but every time I climbed a step he'd be there to kick at me. When I blocked, I'd lose that step. We were stuck.

Isogai took a particularly nasty kick and finally lost his balance, toppling to the ground. I spared a second to glance at him, but that was all; Asano was good enough that I needed to keep moving to dodge his kicks. The problem was, Asano was definitely smart. With him as their leader, A Class couldn't lose if they followed his instructions. One on one, Karma and I were really the only two that could have a hope of standing up to him - and, given our relative positions right now, we'd lose.

But that was only if we fought alone.

The sensation of bullets firing echoed in my peripheral awareness, and I hurriedly grabbed on to the pole as quickly as I could. Not a second too soon, because the group was suddenly rocked by repeated impacts of bodies on the pole. I grinned as I looked over to see all of _our_ defenders grabbing on to Asano, keeping him occupied. "Wha- Wait a minute!" Araki shouted. "The E Class offensive has called in reinforcements!"

I secured my position and used Asano's distraction to clamber up behind him, perching neatly on the top of the pole behind him. "Look at that," I said, absently swinging my feet. Asano glared up at me, but he couldn't move - there were too many of us grabbing at whatever part of his clothes we could reach. "There's only two people left on our defense. Just the two..."

It was Terasaka and Takebayashi, actually.

"How are they even holding it down?" one of the A Class members shouted.

Takebayashi adjusted his glasses. "A little thing called 'leverage'," he said.

The watching spectators murmured. "Oh yeah," Fatso said. "Physics and stuff."

Idiots.

It wasn't _that_ kind of leverage. This was the other kind of leverage, the hold we had over Asano. "Why not just give the order?" I taunted him. "Tell them to break free. I mean, the two of them can't _really_ hold down five students. Just say the word and they'll break free, toppling our pole."

Then my smirk widened into a maddening, infuriating smile. I learned it from Korosensei. "Oh wait!" I said with a laugh. "Could it be you still have an ace up your sleeve? You're Asano, of course you might," I sneered. "And those fools won't dare make a move that might screw up your plans without your command. Better to wait and see, than take the initiative, riiight?"

"Asano!" one of the A Class members over at our pole shouted. "We need orders!"

Too bad for that guy, he can't _give_ any.

One of the giants started tugging at Kimura, shaking the pole, and I hurriedly slipped back down to a safe spot. I'd had enough fun riling up Asano, and I didn't want to take a nasty fall I didn't have to. Besides, it was almost time for our secret weapon. "Itona!" Isogai shouted. "Now! Do it!"

"Yeah, okay," the boy said flatly before dashing forward. And he was _fast_. With a jump he sprang forward into Isogai's waiting cupped hands; our leader surged, throwing Itona in the air. Itona soared towards us before slamming into the top of the pole with a pointed kick.

As the pole started toppling, I grabbed on tightly. Karma was next to me, and the two of us shared a quick grin.

Just as the pole hit halfway, Itona landed on the edge and grabbed on, adding his weight to the unbalanced pole.

It went over without a single hitch, hitting the ground with a crash.

"Hah... The... A-A Class is..." Araki stammered.

Isogai stood up. "Team E Class," he said solemnly, before breaking out into a huge grin and throwing a fist in the air. "For the win!"

We all celebrated from where we'd been thrown by the toppled pole. Karma and I fist-bumped, grinning fiercely at each other from our victory.

"Look this way, please!" I heard Korosensei shouted. "That's right, they're mine!"

God, what a helicopter parent. Still, I was hopped up on adrenaline, so even that octopus couldn't wipe the satisfied smile from my face.

It was even better to watch Asano and his quartet of steroid-freaks slinking off the field, their tails between their legs.

* * *

"They were destroyed," I said, nodding. I think that's how the other students say it these days.

Everything was stacked against us, we had every disadvantage they could justifiably give us, and yet we still came out on top. We figured out their strategy and used Asano's goal against him. This had been a war of information, and we _crushed_ them with it.

By doing so, I could see in the eyes of the other students. Asano's dirty tricks hadn't just failed, they'd actively undermined the chairman's system. The opinions of the non-E Class students were starting to change, slowly but surely.

"Yeah," Karma laughed. We were helping put the chairs away; Karma and I were walking alongside Sugaya and Kimura. "Man, did you see the look on Asano's face? It was hilarious! He looked like a kicked puppy!"

Ahead of us, Isogai came out of the shed. "There he is!" a girl squealed, watching with her friend from behind the corner. "Isogai!"

"You were incredible!" the other one cooed.

Isogai just laughed. "Thank you," he said. "But it's pretty dangerous stuff."

"Yeah, yeah," Sugaya and Kimura sighed as the girls squealed in delight that their Prince Charming deigned to speak with them. "Prince among men."

"Someone's popular," I muttered.

"Everything's different now," Sugaya said as we approached the shed to hand off our chairs to Muramatsu, Yoshida, and Nagisa. "It's like the mood's changed. They don't treat us like the untouchables anymore." Ah, so he noticed too, huh?

Muramatsu grinned, leaning against the shed entrance. "What'd you expect, man?" he asked. "Our nothin' little team rocked the boat today. People are gonna talk."

Okajima laughed. "Think about it guys," he said. "Officially, we're even cooler now than Team Asano." Beside him, Fuwa nodded with a satisfied smile.

A small tingle ran down my spine. Huh. That's the tingle that I get whenever someone arrogant I know is getting wrecked. I looked around in confusion, but didn't see anyone getting crushed.

Then I flinched. Something... Bloodlust, corrupted and terrifying, was emanating from somewhere. I didn't... this felt like... when I'd faced down the Gleam Eyes. It was a monster.

"Nick?" I jerked, and shook my head to chase away the ominous feeling. It dissipated among the bright sunlight, and I took a deep breath.

"I'm fine, Fuwa," I said. "Here, Nagisa, take these, if you would, there's still more back there."

At the end of the day, we were the last class done, and Isogai slid the shed door closed with a thud. "Hey," Nakamura whispered. "Check it out."

We turned to see the Big Five standing there, talking to... some athletic festival committee member or something. "Oh," Kataoka said. "It's Asano."

We approached him. "We had a deal," Maehara said bluntly, and Asano looked over his shoulder. "You gonna hold up your end of the bargain? You're not gonna rat Isogai out for having a job?"

It was a definite concern. For Asano, I wouldn't put it past him to get Isogai in trouble out of spite; he hadn't been able to go back on his word the first two times, the first because the entire school knew about the bet and the second because there really wasn't anything he could do about me, but this one was dangerous.

Asano stared at us, standing united against him, and said, "You may take me at my word." Ooh, he's pissed. Wonder what happened. "Unlike some people I know," he said, turning around to fully face us, "I'm not one for underhanded tactics."

I snorted.

"But next time," he promised darkly, "I won't just take you down. I will chase you into oblivion," he said, turning and walking away.

Terasaka grinned, folding his arms. "Heh. Someone's a poor loser."

"Yeah, what a jerk," Nakamura laughed. "Let him talk all the smack he wants, we're _totally_ above it," she said, posing arrogantly.

"Don't pay any attention to him," Maehara said, resting a hand on Isogai's shoulder, "he doesn't even know you, man. Doesn't understand what you have to deal with."

Isogai was still watching Asano walk away. "Except," he said, "that's not being fair. I don't know him either. His life could be really tough. Plus, I've got super awesome classmates." We all grinned. Yeah, E Class was pretty cool, alright. "If being broke led me to you, then I'm glad."

Maehara laughed and pulled his best friend into a headlock, the two of them flailing around while the E Class students huddled around and laughed. Karma, Nagisa and I were on the outside of the circle and watching with grins on our faces. Isogai wasn't the same kind of leader as Asano; he didn't look as cool, and he wasn't on top or out front. Still, he was right there next to us, appearing when we weren't looking.

"Wow!" he gasped suddenly, making a beeline for another cart pusher. "Leftovers from the bread eating contest?!"

That's our president of E Class. A prince among men _and_ assassins.

"Can I take some of these?!" he begged. When the pusher nodded, flustered, Isogai grinned. "I'm making all of us goldfish buns!"

And, also, a pretty damn good cook. I can feel my mouth watering already.

* * *

 **Remember, Nick is a tactician, not a leader. He's never really wanted to lead, or be visible. He's far more at home figuring out how to solve the problem than telling people what to do.**

 **Really, I'm just glad I got to use the Prince Charming lines. I'm also incredibly, incredibly glad I got to use the Princess Charming joke. That one is too fucking good. (in the manga, kataoka's nickname is ikemegu, a play on ikemen (prince charming) and her first/given name, megu. just something i thought was neat, and i wanted to make it work in english too) The rest of the first scene is Asano being a shit, the E Class students forming rank, and Nick continuing to not give a fuck about pretty much anything that's going on.**

 **Then the athletic festival. I tried my best to make it as exciting as possible, but it loses a little something when you don't get to see it in action. The art style is pretty great; especially during the frantic seat hopping chaos in Operation: Mucus Hell – or, in the dub, Operation: Runny Nose. Man, I really like Mucus Hell better. It's neat how the operation/tactics are all named after Korosensei, since they take cues from him and his actions. Nick's not above stealing ideas, after all.**

 **Also not above cheating like a motherfucker by taking advantage of loopholes. That little potato chip joke was a stupid thought at first, then I was like 'yeah he'd totally do that' and SO IT WAS.**

 **Stuff we missed due to Nick not being invited to the private conversation between the four foreign students, Asano, and Principal Asano: Apparently, Kevin** _ **was**_ **physically modified, somehow, so Nick was right on that. Then, Principal Asano apparently beat a blackbelt on his** _ **third day of karate.**_ **Fucking hell. All because he felt like when he lost, he was dying, so he stole all of the instructor's techniques and then beat the shit out of him. And then, when he was scolding Asano for failing like a little bitch, Kevin tried to stand up for Asano, saying that failing wasn't awful. Then Principal Asano** _ **beat the four giant students until they bled.**_ **Like, there's actual bloodstains everywhere.**

 **Then he intimidates his son, and appears like a monster. There's the timeline for all that happening; Nick twitches when he feels Principal Asano's monster aura.**

 **Many thanks to everyone that favorited, followed, or reviewed.**


	6. Before & After Time

**Chapter 6: Before & After Time**

* * *

Ugh...

I hate midterms.

"Oookie-dokie, boys and girls!" Korosensei said, sounding far too excited for the situation we were in. "Second-term midterms are only two weeks away!"

Up on the front of the board, Korosensei had written 'Taking On the 2nd-Term Midterms!'. Apparently, this was going to be some 'special training' to help us improve in our worst subjects. I just scowled at the flickering image of Korosensei's speed clone - or, more accurately, at the Social Studies headband it was wearing. It's not my fault I don't give a damn about the GDP of African nations or whatever. Besides, if we have two weeks until the midterms, that's two weeks we _don't_ have to be working on this stuff. "The time has come to surpass A Class! I want us going into this red-hot! Hotter than Hades! Hotter than the suuuuun!"

"That's too hot!" Okajima shouted.

Looking at the afterimages, I frowned - was one of them wearing a straw hat? Nah... Well, given Korosensei, that actually might be the case.

Regardless, he'd been pushing the midterm preparation ever since we beat A Class and dunked on Asano back at the athletic festival, and it was admittedly starting to get on my nerves. No, I really _don't_ care what it means that the author chose the color blue for the character's childhood sheets, maybe blue was the author's favorite color and anyways the death of the author concept is bullshit and stupid as hell.

While the other students might not have my particular hate for the preparation - and mine was probably over-inflated thanks to having to go through all this a second time - I could still feel the unease in the air. The problem was, we were running out of time to kill Korosensei. There were only five months left, after all. The clock was ticking inexorably forward.

People were getting impatient.

"Payback time!" Korosensei and his clones shouted.

After class, we all took a walk outside, groaning and good-naturedly complaining about the crap Korosensei was putting us through. "Ah..." Sugino moaned, stretching. "Damn, I'm tired! Korosensei's really pushing it up a notch, isn't he?"

"But, you know," Yada said, "should we be concentrating on school right now? Isn't it more important to improve our assassination skills? We only have five months left, you know?"

"...We have no choice," Yoshida said. "Unless we get good grades, that octopus will ditch the class, remember?"

I'm still not a hundred percent sold on the veracity of Korosensei's threats of leaving E Class if we don't hone a second blade; when we failed the first time, in the first semester, he didn't follow through. Granted, that was because we got blindsided by the principal and not because we'd failed to put forth the effort, but it was still a failure that wasn't properly punished.

"Heheheh," Okajima laughed smugly, folding his arms. "You guys shouldn't worry too much about it. Leave it to me," he said, gesturing to himself with a thumb. "I came up with a neat little idea."

The class stared at him, curious. Kataoka had her hands on her hips. "I hope it's not something perverted," she muttered under her breath.

Okajima led us to a hill, and then took a running leap. The hill was tall enough that he easily landed on the roof of a nearby building. "What's here...?" Fuwa asked, staring.

Okajima turned and pointed. "I figured out an awesome route to school," he said. "By using parkour, we can run along the building rooftops from here to the next train station. We'll barely have to touch the ground! We'll train just by going to school!"

"Ehh?" Kurahashi said, peering at the city below us. "Isn't this dangerous? If we fall..."

"She's right," Kataoka said. "Mr. Karasuma told us not to do this outside of the rear mountains." Behind her, Nakamura seemed intrigued, though.

Okajima grinned widely. "It's fiiine!" he said. "I already tested it out, and the whole route is super simple! With how we're trained now, it's a cinch."

Isogai scratched his head. "Um..."

"C'mon, Isogai!" Maehara said, grinning at him. "This way, we can improve our assassination skills without eating into our time to study! We'll polish two blades at once, just like Korosensei wants!"

"...It might be fun," Sugino said.

"Yeah," Nagisa said. "Nick?"

I looked at the route, then bit my lip. It wasn't exactly the smartest idea, given how easy it would be for someone to screw up and get injured, but at the same time Okajima made a good point. When I was working on grinding Skills in Alfheim or other games, I'd always do two at once - Heavy Armor and magic, for example, or Acrobatics and Throwing Weapons. As many as possible, to be efficient. This was just the same concept writ large to the real world, right? We had to get to school one way or another, so why waste the effort?

Well, when I have two options... I dug in my pockets and pulled out a coin. "Heads, I take the shortcut, tails I walk like a normal person," I said before flipping the coin with a quiet _ping_. It glinted in the light, rising and falling until I snatched it out of midair and slapped it on the back of my palm. When I revealed the coin...

"Heads it is," I said. "Let's get going."

A few of the students stayed behind while the rest of us launched ourselves forward with whoops of joy and laughter. "Follow me!" Okajima shouted.

"What a rush!" Nakamura squealed as she jumped across a building.

I had to hand it to him, Okajima had a point. The route he was showing us was easy - to the point that I saw Okano doing gymnastic-style twists and flips along the way without breaking a sweat. "What'd I tell ya?" Okajima called back to us. "Coolest shortcut ever, or what?"

"Yeah it is!" Nakamura and Yada shouted.

"Guys, wait up!" Isogai shouted. Being at the front of the pack, just behind Okajima, it was hard to hear him, and I slowed down just a little bit. I didn't want to be out in front, not until I knew the path by heart.

"This is nothing!" Mimura shouted to Okajima.

"Right?" he said with a grin. "We showed 'em at the pole-toppling match: we're not ordinary students anymore! We're on a different level!"

We were definitely capable of more than the usual students, but... was that a good thing? After all, as an Aincrad survivor, I was capable of more than the usual Alfheim player.

Up ahead, I saw Kimura and Okajima racing full-tilt. "We should always take this route!" Kimura said.

With twin shouts of joy, they hopped down the alley. A heartbeat passed, and their shouts turned into cries of warning.

When I heard the loud crash, I winced. "Oh, that's all kinds of not good," I said. "What happened..."

I landed on the edge of the building and peered down, looking into the alley, and then clicked my tongue in irritation at what I saw. Okajima and Kimura were standing around awkwardly, while an older man was lying on the pavement and clutching at his leg. A bike was lying on the ground, toppled over, with wheels still spinning fruitlessly, and groceries were scattered all around it. They must have landed on him. As other students gathered around and jumped down, it didn't look like the old man was going to be able to just walk this one off like we could.

Well, this is gonna suck.

"What was that noise?" someone shouted from the end of the alley. I looked down to see a man holding a bouquet of flowers - judging by the apron and the van behind them, he was a florist of some sort. "You all right?" He gasped. "Oh my word! I'll call for help!" he said as he started tapping at his phone.

Shit. And now the authorities are gonna get involved. And I can't even feign innocence and pretend I wasn't part of this by vanishing before anyone saw me, because my classmates knew I had joined in.

What happened to plausible deniability, Nick? You idiot.

As the wails of sirens grew louder, I clicked my tongue in irritation and headed back an alley to hop down and join the rest of my class.

By the time the old man was taken to the hospital, Karasuma had arrived to collect the nineteen of us. While he was inside talking to the doctors, we all stood outside the emergency room silently. Nobody felt like talking.

The doors slid open and Karasuma stepped outside. "It seems the gentlemen has a hairline fracture of the right femur," he said without preamble. "Doctor says he should be on his feet in about a week or so." Well, at least it wasn't a compound fracture. Hairline fractures suck - I've had one in my forearm from falling off a bike when I was a kid - but they heal more or less perfectly given enough time.

"What complicates this," Karasuma continued, "is that you kids are a state secret. He'll likely settle out of court, but my men have to negotiate a gag order." I flinched at the harshness of his tone. He was _not_ happy.

To make things worse, a crash echoed behind us and I flinched again. We all turned to see Korosensei standing behind us, shaking in rage and frustration. His skin was turning black.

"Ko...Korosensei..." Isogai said.

"It... It wasn't our fault," Kimura said, looking away from our infuriated teacher. "The street was too narrow."

"Yeah!" Okajima said. "And who'd think that old man would be riding his bike through there, y'know?"

I growled under my breath. Excuses. They were all pointless excuses. We fucked up, plain and simple. Don't try to sugar-coat it with reasoning or explaining why we weren't at fault.

I wish I could get away with snapping at everyone right now, but I was just as culpable. They wouldn't listen to me.

"Exactly," Okano said.

Yada looked at the ground. "I mean, what we did was reckless and everything, sure..."

"...But we were doing it to, like, sharpen our skills and whatnot," Nakamura said. The excuses were weak, feeble. They didn't believe in their own lies.

"We gotta unwind," Terasaka said. "We're under a lotta pressure. Savin' the world's a big deal-"

"Ghk," I said. My head snapped to the side as Korosensei's black tentacle slapped us at high speeds.

It stung.

"...Will that be reported as my bringing harm to some of the students?" Korosensei asked quietly. I flinched, shrinking back despite myself. I hated it when authority figures loomed over me and talked in a quiet voice.

"I'll overlook it just this once," Karasuma said. He folded his arms and looked down, away from us. "I knew the risks when I introduced a higher level of training. I take full responsibility. You clearly weren't ready. This is on me." He turned and walked back inside the emergency room.

I swallowed, feeling my right cheek throb from the pain of the slap. It wasn't bad by any means, no. It was just... a reminder.

"Sir, we're... sorry," Kimura said.

"Sorry," we all echoed raggedly, bowing our heads slightly.

"Perhaps you've grown too strong for your own good," Korosensei said quietly, and I tensed. "You were drunk on power. You neglected to put yourselves in the shoes of someone weaker." I gritted my teeth and dug my fingers into the back of my neck, still looking down at the ground. _I know._ I know, I know, I know, stop _telling_ me how I fucked up when I already know. "That makes you no different than your counterparts on the main campus."

My fingers tightened, my nails clawing at my skin. Fuck...

I want to kill him. Kill kill _kill kill kill_.

His quiet words stung more than Karasuma's simmering anger. That was the worst part of it, too. The sheer disappointment in Korosensei's voice.

I hate it when I make a mistake. When the world reminds me that I'm not good enough.

A ripping sound made me look up, and I saw Korosensei tearing a math book in half. "We are now exactly two weeks away from midterms," he said. He was yellow again. "Consider yourselves prohibited from studying from them."

My eyes widened as a few students gasped in shock. That was... It didn't mean much to me, but to the others, who didn't have my ability to do well without studying... "This isn't a punishment," Korosensei said. "There are simply other, more important things to study first. I ought to have included them in the syllabus earlier."

He blasted off, saying something about convincing the injured party to settle peacefully. We were instructed to enter the hospital and wait outside the room until we were allowed inside. "Matsukata, huh?" I said quietly, reading the nametag. I was used to hospitals, I suppose. I think I'm just glad _I'm_ not the one in the bed, this time around.

From inside the room I heard a blast of wind - Korosensei must have arrived? - followed by screaming. Then more shouting, and then even louder screaming.

What the hells was going on?

When we were told to enter, we all trooped in - and then had trouble finding places to stand, what with all the flowers littering the floor. The scent was almost heady, and I did my best to subtly breathe through my mouth instead. "This is Mr. Matsukata," Korosensei said. The old man was scowling at him. "He runs a nursery. First, boys and girls, properly apologize."

"We're sorry," everyone chorused in their own way. I merely ducked my head.

"Even more than being professional hitmen," Korosensei told us, "you are all individuals with responsibilities. For making a mistake during training, you yourselves should take responsibility. As for the medical bills, we have no choice but to allow Mr. Karasuma pay, but you all shall pay for reparations and losses from his time off from work."

"Pay..." Chiba said. "But how?"

"Simply put," Korosensei said, "you will work at the nursery for free. Everyone from E Class will provide flawless assistance. Two weeks from now, when Mr. Matsukata is able to walk, if he believes your work is adequate he will not make a public announcement."

"...My place is a lot of work," the old man snapped. "We run everything from a nursery to a daycare. I hope you lot can handle the work."

What a grouch.

The next day, we all reported to the nursery. "Attention children!" the caretaker said, clapping her hands. "I have news. I'm afraid that Principal Matsukata has been hurt, and we won't be seeing him for a while."

"Aww," the little kids complained.

"Now, now," she said with a smile. "Don't worry, he's fine. And until he's back, these young men and women will be here to lend us a hand. Isn't that nice?" The others smiled and laughed awkwardly. I just shifted my weight, feeling incredibly out of place here. I wasn't... I wasn't good with kids.

"Yay!" the little brats cheered, charging my classmates to go play. All except one with pink hair, who just let out a little huff and turned her head.

Oh, good. The ceaseless optimism and happiness was starting to get on my nerves.

I wandered around, drifting aimlessly from group to group. "Seriously?" Hazama said, looking back and forth while two young girls peered up at her, asking if she was a witch. "Why do _I_ have to watch these freaking zygotes for something I didn't even do?"

"Worst job ever," Terasaka muttered.

The kids were having fun climbing on him, at least. One kid was even gnawing on his leg, for whatever reason. "You're being eaten," Hazama pointed out to him.

None of the kids had tried to approach me, for which I was grateful. I didn't like dealing with kids, and I wasn't exactly the kind of person you'd want your child around, anyway. "Hey, we're a team," Hara said, smiling. "We all got a sticky slap. He said for even one of us to learn their lesson, the whole class has to be on board." There were ten students that didn't make the mistake, and one was Ritsu, so she doesn't really count. Korosensei had lightly patted each of them while muttering an apology, apparently.

The girls were getting along with the kids, at least; I saw Kayano holding one of the smaller kids, while Okuda was running with one of the other ones. "I'm sorry, guys," Okajima said to Kanzaki and Okuda.

One of the little boys was hugging Kanzaki, and the look on his face... How old are these kids again? "Oh, it's alright," Kanzaki said. "We got ourselves into this, we should have had the sense to know that someone could get hurt."

Hazama folder her arms. "Yeah, whatever," she said. "As long as I get to appoint myself supervisor. Though," she said, looking over at her friends where Yoshida, Muramatsu, and Itona were being treated like jungle gyms, "with you clowns it's more appropriate to call me ringmaster."

"Hey!" Muramatsu and Yoshida snapped.

Takebayashi nodded. "Hm. I propose we can stealth-study for midterms at home. And thank our lucky stars we got off so light! Two weeks, unpaid work? Small price to pay for the old man's silence. We should be grateful."

"Takebayashi?" Maehara said. "...I can't take you seriously when you're being pantsed by six-year-olds."

I glanced over, and sure enough, Takebayashi's pants were on the ground. Thanks, brain, I didn't _actually_ want to know what color underwear Takebayashi wore, but thanks. Thanks for looking. I could have used that space for, uh, remembering what the Prime Minister looks like, to pick a random example, but nope. It's the color of his underwear.

"Some of these kids are kinda hyper," Okano said.

While I was over talking with Sugino and Fuwa, someone approached behind us. "So," the young girl with pink hair said. "What do you insects plan on doing for us now?" I twitched, fist clenching and unclenching, but I didn't let myself react beyond that. My placid half-smile stayed firm. She was just a kid, I'd probably get in trouble for punting her halfway across the room. "You descend on our habitats like a swarm of locusts. I think the least you can do is work off some of the oxygen you're sucking up, losers."

I took a deep breath, my tongue flicking across my teeth. Don't kick the kid in the head, Nick, don't kick the kid in the head...

Man, what I wouldn't give for Alfheim's duel system right now...

After a few seconds, the pulse of rage went away, and I let myself relax. Of the rest of the students, Karma was the only one not seemingly affected by the foul mood of the kid. Then again, it was Karma, he was always just smiling from the back of the room.

"Uh oh," one of the kids muttered. "Sis Sakura's in a bad mood again."

"Yeah," another one said, covering his face. "These guys are gonna get massacred."

"You think they know she's been here for five years?"

"Or that she's spent the past two of them rebelling against the man?"

"They don't call Sis Sakura the Elite NEET for nothing."

Yoshida and Muramatsu were just watching those two ridiculously verbose children. "Isn't she way too old for this place?" Yoshida asked.

"I dunno, dude," Muramatsu said. "Don't judge. Maybe she just really likes it here."

Sakura reached out and grabbed a broom. "The real question is whether you troglodytes have it in you to work!"

She advanced on Nagisa. "Eh - wait, hang on!" the boy said.

"How about an endurance test?!" Sakura shouted, taking a step.

Then, with a crash, she fell through the floor. Ouch, that looks like that hurt. Oh well. Not really my problem.

"Be careful," Nagisa said a little belatedly. "That section of the floor is all wonky."

Off to the side, Isogai was talking to the caretaker lady. "You're getting it fixed, right?" he asked. "The building. I mean, it does seem to be getting kinda rickety."

"If only we had the funds," the woman said. "The principal has a soft spot for children stuck on the waitlist for primary school." I looked out, and saw a bunch of kids just playing. A few were coloring, some were playing with dolls or building blocks... I saw one reading. "Takes them in at rock-bottom rates. He can barely afford the faculty he has. Poor man works himself to the bone."

The members of the class that felt guilty at hearing that looked away. Yeah, jerks, that's what you get for landing on him. What asshole does something like that, huh?

"All twenty-nine of us are here for two weeks," Maehara said after a second. "We could do a few things."

Hara nodded. "Yeah. A whole lotta things!" Nakamura and Sugino nodded their agreement too.

"That's the spirit!" Isogai said. "Alright, then, gang, let's divvy up the workload. First, a strategy meeting."

"Yeah!"

While the others were chattering to each other, Nagisa knelt down to pick up Sakura from the hole. I grabbed the broom she'd been brandishing and twirled it absently before holding it and performing a few test slashes I'd picked up from watching Sugu practice. Eh... Probably wouldn't have hurt Nagisa if he got hit with it, so not like it matters.

Before too much longer, the others had worked out a plan of attack. "Please, Sir Karma," Kayano, dressed up like a fairy tale princess, said, "I implore you not to hurt anyone else!"

Karma was dressed up like the knight, and currently had Terasaka in an arm lock with a fake sword to his throat. "Forgive me, princess," Karma said. Then he punched Terasaka. "Honor compels me to run the creature down!" He punched him again. "As long as he lives, there can be no peace in the realm! Hah!"

At least Karma's having fun.

"Quit going off book, damn it," Terasaka growled quietly even as Karma punched him again. "The script says no physical contact!" With a surge he broke free from Karma's grasp and turned. "You were gonna smack me around either way, weren't ya!" he shouted, swinging at Karma. Karma just dodged out of the way, laughing happily, and swung the sword down.

I heard a few comments from the audience. It was those two kids that seemed far too mature for their age. "Oh wow," the first one said. "The fight choreography is good."

"No kidding!" the other one said. "And the girl's acting really draw me into the story!"

Meanwhile, Karma and Terasaka had been slugging it out on stage. "Knock it off!" Terasaka shouted, rearing back to swing a punch.

That was when Okuda rushed in from the wings, dressed up like a witch in a black cloak and pointy hat. "Ah!" she exclaimed. "To your rest!" She held a cloth to Terasaka's face, and he quickly went limp before collapsing to the ground.

Did... Did she just chloroform him?

"Suddenly," Kayano said, "the mage's magical chloroform put the beast to sleep unharmed." Okuda smiled and raised Karma's arm, the victors of the duel. Meanwhile, Muramatsu tugged Terasaka off-stage. "And thanks to chemistry, they all lived happily ever after!"

"Sneaky!" the kids cheered, clapping and laughing.

"That's our show, boys and girls! What'd you think?"

If I hadn't seen the script, I would have thought that entire show went just as planned, but I had to hand it to Kayano; she was a born actress. She really knew how to read the room.

It probably also helped that she was the same size as them.

Heh. Short jokes.

Now that the 'play' was over and I _hadn't_ been needed to step in and confront Karma as the Black Knight - which would have happened if things had gone according to plan, but hey, I can roll with the punches - I took off the armor and went outside, checking on the progress of everything else. Sugino and Sugaya were unloading their latest trip of lumber and building materials, and everything looked good on the manual labor side of things.

Since I wasn't really good at any one particular task, I was a free agent, floating around to do whatever was necessary at the time.

Off to the side, Kurahashi was playing with - _**kitty**_.

I was kneeling next to her in a heartbeat. "Aww, she's so adorable!" one of the little girls cried.

"Uh oh," Kurahashi said with a smile. "Is the poor kitty cat lost?"

The first step to touching the cat was to let the kitten sniff me, so I casually held my hand in front of the little tabby and waited until she gave me a few licks. Now that I had permission, I scratched the cat behind the ears at first, letting the orange kitten get used to my scent, before gradually shifting to scratching along the jawline of the cat. Emmitt went nuts whenever I scratched him there, and this one wasn't any different; mewling, the kitten rubbed against me and nearly tripped over itself. "You're a beautiful one," I said to the cat.

"Nick, I didn't know you liked cats," Kurahashi said.

"Yeah," I grinned as the little kitten purred under my attention. "I had one back... home," I said, and she shifted. Like the others, she knew a little bit about my past, and 'knew' that I'd been forced to move here. Naturally, nobody in E Class knew the whole story. "Ah ah! No claws," I scolded the kitten, who'd been grabbing at my pants. Then she started gnawing on my hand with her tiny needle-like teeth, and I sighed. "No biting either," I said, tapping the kitten's forehead with a finger and standing up.

I went back inside, and Nagisa waved me over. He was one of the ones helping the kids study and learn, along with Hara, Takebayashi, Nakamura, and a few others. "You kids are wonderful!" the caretaker said as she passed by with a basketful of laundry. "Who'd have thought these children would be tutored by students from a prestigious junior high school."

"Don't expect much, ma'am," Nakamura said, patting the head of the kid beside her. He looked resigned to his fate. "Kunugigaoka might be great, but our class is bottom of the barrel."

By that point, I'd reached Nagisa. "Hey, what's up?" I asked him.

"Take a look," he said, handing me a grade three workbook. I glanced over the pages, and frowned; there were a lot of mistakes. "Sharp as she is, Sakura's falling behind," he whispered to me. The girl in question was sitting at the table, gnawing at a pencil. "She's just spinning her wheels, until she moves on to primary school."

I glanced at him. "So, uh, what you need me for?"

"I was hoping you could help me figure out a way to explain the equations in a way someone her age can understand..."

I blew air out of my mouth in a sigh, then nodded. "Yeah, lemme take a look," I said. If she was making one consistent mistake that'd be easy to deal with. Otherwise, it was going to be a pain, to figure out what she knew, what she didn't know, and what she thought she knew but didn't actually know.

"This teaching thing's harder than it looks," Nagisa sighed to me.

"Oh come on," Sakura snapped, banging on the table. "I don't have all day! At this rate, I'll be middle-aged before Tokyo University accepts me!"

Nagisa smiled weakly. "Hey, this takes time," he said as we both sat down at the table. Sakura just huffed and looked away. "So, uh," he began. "Why'd you drop out of primary school, if you don't mind me asking?"

"Huh?" Sakura said, looking at him again. "What do you think, genius? Bullying! They treated me like poop! Writing all over my desk, stuffing scrap paper in my locker, dead frogs and plants..."

A black-haired girl's smiling face flashed in my memory for an instant, just barely long enough for me to register before it disappeared. Sakura looked down at her workbook. "It doesn't make sense. You'd think kids that age would be sweet and innocent, eyes filled with wonder," she said, playing with the pencil in her hand. "Yeah? Well, the second they learn how strong they are, all they care about is picking on the ones half their size."

Poor Nagisa. Her comment was a little on the nose, wasn't it? I glanced up, but he was just staring at her blankly.

"I know what you're gonna say," Sakura said, "so don't bother. 'It gets better.' 'Stick it out, or the bullies win.' That's the same line my parents gave me." My eyes flicked up to look at her, but she was already leaning back and shrugging. "Whatever," she said. "Look who I'm talking to. You're weaker than I am, you know how it is."

Nagisa just laughed uneasily.

"Here, kitty kitty kitty," Kurahashi's voice floated out from the yard.

Aw, crap, that's not good.

We went outside to see what was going on, and immediately I picked out the problem - namely, the cat crying pitifully in the tree. "Oh, dear," Kurahashi said.

"I don't think she knows how to get down!" the little girl that was playing with the cat when I left said.

Kurahashi peered up at the tree. "Poor little thing probably doesn't have that much tree-climbing experience," she said. It didn't help that cats were designed to climb _up_ but not _down_ trees; their claws hooked in the bark going up, but going down was difficult if the cat hadn't done it before.

"You see what I mean?" Sakura said as we stopped. "The higher you go, the more dangerous it is. _That's_ what courage gets you. Thanks, but this gal prefers to keep her feet planted firmly on the ground."

I glanced at Nagisa, and our eyes met before he looked down at Sakura.

"I'll handle it!" Kimura called out, from over at the lumber pile. He ran over to tap Okajima on the back. "C'mon, man, like we did in pole-toppling."

"Sure!" Okajima said. "I'm on _catapult_ duty." Ugh, screw you. He ran over to below the tree while Kimura ran a few steps away to get some room.

"Look at it this way," Nagisa said to Sakura suddenly. "Let's pretend the tree is primary school, right? Where we're standing is, well, this place. We all start here, essentially." Okajima waved to Kimura. "But it's where our strength comes from."

Kimura took off running and jumped, landing with one foot in Okajima's cupped hands. Okajima surged, throwing Kimura up into the air, where the boy caught a branch. All the little kids were staring with wide eyes and dropped jaws.

Sakura was staring too, making little noises of confusion. Nagisa was just staring up at the tree. "We were looked down on," he said, "but we never stopped looking up. Even when the height made us feel dizzy, or insignificant, or scared the crap out of us, we learned how to climb." Kimura had successfully clambered over to the branch the kitty was clinging too, and reached out to grab it. After a tense second, he picked up the little kitten by the scruff of the neck - my eyes narrowed, since if the cat was any older that was bad. "By taking it one rung at a time.

"Who's a good kitty?" Kimura asked. The kitten, frightened, scratched at him. "Agh! My eye!"

"We reached the top, but along the way we forgot what it meant to be scared of heights," Nagisa said. "So every now and then, we lost our grip. Learn to climb," he said to Sakura, bending down. She was staring at him in awe. "Start from where you are now. Formulate a game plan. When you're ready, go for it." He took her hand and patted her on the head, seemingly oblivious to the way she blushed.

Oh come on, I thought I was done with the pheromones. Kazuto isn't even _here_.

"That's my advice," Nagisa said. "A trade secret from one late bloomer to another."

"...Nagisa..." Sakura said.

* * *

The next two weeks passed by surprisingly quickly, though I've always been bad with losing track of time. The whole class learned a lot, though the subjects weren't the ones covered in school. Things like how to cook for a whole lot of people at once; how to go shopping for bulk supplies; how to build a house that'll last for a while.

For me, though, I kinda naturally fell into the role of assistant tutor for anyone that needed help. Somehow I was able to figure out how to explain the information and material in such a way that the kids could remember. To be honest, a lot of it was tips and tricks that had taken me my entire high school career to figure out. I'd learned math by rote, where my father sat me down every morning and drilled me with flashcards. While I hated doing it, I had to admit I knew the multiplication table by heart up to twelve squared.

So, in other words, useless. I routinely worked with bigger numbers, and base ten was pointless when I was working in binary or hexadecimal.

Still, my own struggles weren't fruitless, since I was able to draw on a breadth of technique that let each of the students find their own method that worked for them.

Outside that, I just helped out with the construction whenever I wasn't needed in the tutoring area.

Wiping sweat from my brow, I leaned back and let my back rest on the roof. I'd finally finished up the last task assigned to me; it was just the little detailing to make sure everything was firm and sturdy. The sun was warm, and I wanted to bask for a while.

Still, it was kinda impressive. Before we'd gotten to work, the Young Leaf Park nursery was a ramshackle little hut, with one floor and barely holding together. I wouldn't have been surprised if it fell apart under the weight of twenty-eight junior high kids.

After, well...

"What in God's name have you done to my school?!" the old man shouted.

I sat up and peered down, grateful for my transition lenses to keep my eyes sheltered from the sun. Sure enough, Mr. Matsukata and Korosensei were standing at the entrance, staring up at us.

We'd revamped the entire structure, using the old structure as a starting point and then working from there. The new log cabin addition was two stories tall, with sturdy lumber making up the majority of the building materials.

"The wood you see here," Korosensei said, pitching his voice to sound like someone reading from a commercial, "comes from the lush mountain forest in which E Class's own facility sits." Getting the lumber had been easy enough, since I wasn't on resource gathering duty. With a quiet grunt, I jumped down from the roof, landing lightly on the nearby tree's branches before swinging down and landing in a roll. Silently, I joined the rest of the students following behind Korosensei.

"This was once a cramped and oh-so-humble preschool building," Korosensei continued as he slid the door open to main building on the second floor. It was a large, open space with plenty of natural light pouring through the wide windows we'd installed, and a few overhead lamps to make up the rest. "But what have we here? An elegant and open multi-purpose space!"

"How in the- they did this in only two weeks?" the old man asked, looking around in amazement.

"Virtual mockups guaranteed a sturdy design. Robust pillars now firmly buttress the dilapidated main building," Korosensei said. It was eerie, listening to that calm, soothing voice coming from an octopus.

Okano held her phone up, showing Ritsu. "We were inspired by world architecture," the AI said. "And the golden ratio!" she added, throwing up a little victory sign.

"The second floor is divided into two beautifully functional rooms. One a library, where the children can read in comfort."

Chiba turned to Mr. Matsukata. "To be honest, it's a very simple design," the sniper said. "We could only do so much."

"But the shelves are packed," Yada said. "We all scoured the neighborhood for secondhand books."

"I donated too!" Kurahashi chirped, holding up an insect encyclopedia. Somehow, I wasn't surprised.

I was able to snag a few books for my own entertainment; there were a few in there that I'd remembered reading as a kid, and I enjoyed going back and reading them all over again. For some reason, the kids liked to listen to me read the stories out loud, though I wasn't sure why.

"Adjacent to the library," Korosensei said, opening the dividing door, "is a posh, indoor playground. Careful placement of foam mats and durable netting ensures safety. And, protected by a weather-treated roof, the equipment won't erode from exposure to the elements."

"I don't believe it..." the principal of this place murmured, eyes twitching.

Isogai gestured to the inside staircase. "Here," he said, "come take a look at the garage."

"We have a garage now?"

Isogai led the old man downstairs and outside, rounding the corner to where Yoshida and Itona were waiting. The old man stopped and stared. "Goodness gracious!" Korosensei exclaimed, pretending to be shocked. "Our illustrious tech squad has completely remodeled the principal's bicycle, whose front wheel got banged up in the accident." That bike was gleaming. "Once an ordinary conveyance, it's now an ultra-safe, high load-bearing electric three-wheeler."

This time I pulled out my phone, since Ritsu had some diagrams and models to show off. "The jungle gym is connected to the battery charger," Ritsu said. "Meaning that the bicycle runs primarily on the kinetic energy produced by the children during recess!" That was a pain and a half to get connected, though the mechanisms behind it - just a simple generator run by the rotating axle of the jungle gym - were simple.

"Meaning also," Korosensei added, "the more the children play, the more they help their beloved principal get from point A to point B. Hooray for science."

"This is too perfect!" the principal shouted, looking at us. We were all smiling innocently, expecting him to be happy. "You kids have gone above and beyond! It's actually a little creepy!" That's us, the Children of the Mountain.

"Repurposed for use as a handlebar bell," Korosensei said, "the principal's old dentures add a touch of nostalgia."

"That's entirely too much attention to detail!" the principal shouted.

Yeah, I really wasn't sure where they'd been going for that one. I just shrugged and let them do their thing, so, uh... Yeah.

"Damnit, look," he snapped, hitting the dentures and ringing the bell. "You can spruce up and spit-shine all you want, but what my kids need are mentors that can speak to their experience! If you haven't gotten through to them, this was all just a white-wash!"

"Hey! Nagisa!" Sakura called out.

The boy looked over; I'd noticed her approaching earlier, paper in hand, and glanced over myself. "Tada!" she said, holding up her math paper. A perfect score. "I came in first!"

"Wow, that's fantastic!" Nagisa said. "Great job, Sakura!"

"The trick you told me to do really worked!" she said, smiling up at the blue-haired kid. "I snuck in for the math portion of the test like a ninja. I finished, I left, poof!"

"Pretty cool, huh?" Nagisa said with a smile. "The bullies were too busy with their own exams to mess with you."

Sakura nodded with a giggle. "Mm. I caught them by surprise. The teacher was the only one who knew I was coming!"

"We call that getting the drop on your opponent," Nagisa told her, raising a finger. "It's how we do things in E Class, and it's done wonders for us. Unveil your best attack before the enemy even gets into position. I'm so proud of you," he said. "Keep using those hit-and-run tactics. When you're ready for primary school, you'll have a full arsenal."

Sakura fidgeted bashfully. "Um... so... You'll teach me some more tricks, then?"

Nagisa smiled. "Absolutely!" Sakura beamed in joy.

Maehara muttered, "That is one scary dude."

"He's terrifying because he has no idea how terrifying he is," Kataoka muttered.

Yeah, I had to agree with them. He was teaching a little child how to be a social ninja and topple the pyramid of strength that formed in schools, and he was doing it with a smile on his face. I'm pretty sure he had no idea what he was actually teaching her, either.

"Hey, kid," I said, nodding to her and folding my arms. "What I showed you worked, then?"

"Uh huh," she said. Her smile was there, but not nearly as big as when she was talking to Nagisa. Big surprise there, I know. "I wish the teacher had explained it that way the first time, everything made a lot more sense."

I just nodded. "Remember, if you ever find yourself stuck, just take a step back and look for a different approach. There's always a solution, you just need to find the path to solving it."

"I will," she said with a nod.

"You little rat-finks," Mr. Matsukata muttered, and we all looked back at him. "You've left me no room to complain, damn it." Uh, weren't you doing that right now? Complaining about not being able to complain? Seems kinda backwards, if you ask me.

"Oh!" Sakura said as the principal walked toward her, and showed him the test paper. "Welcome back, Principal! Look at this!"

Mr. Matsukata placed a gentle hand on her head as she giggled. "I suppose it's time to run along back to class now," he said. "I believe there's some important work ahead of you."

"Yes sir!" we chorused.

As we left, the kids lined up outside. "See you later!" they all called to us, waving in that way children do, putting their whole body into the motion.

Heh. They were okay kids, I guess.

The next morning, I got to school and realized something kinda important that had slipped my mind bit.

Y'know, this little thing called 'midterms'.

It, uh, wasn't great. With the way this school handles things, not studying for two weeks was like battling naked; all of my fellow classmates were armed with weak equipment and little to no armor at all. They all got destroyed. I had enough skill to eke my way through the battles, but it wasn't a great test. Most of E Class got booted from the top spots. Most of the students dropped at least twenty ranks.

I was walking with Nagisa, Okajima, and Sugino, and the mood wasn't very light. They'd all dropped down to below the top fifty, and they were all understandably upset.

"What a total letdown!"

I let out a sigh of suffering as the Big Five, all together to laugh at our pain, blocked our path. "Guess that first time was just a fluke, huh?" Araki asked. The others were all pointing mockingly at us and laughing.

"We didn't even need to crush you at pole-toppling," Seo said.

Sugino and Okajima gritted their teeth, and I just stared at the idiots dully. Asano was the only one that wasn't laughing, and his silent disdain was kinda irritating by itself.

"Aw, whatsamatter, dorks?" Koyama laughed before adjusting his glasses. "Kitty cat got your tongue?"

"Grades are the end-all be-all at this institution," Sakakibara said. His stupid haircut irritates me for no real rational reason, but every time I see it I want to punch him in the face. "The bottom feeders have no right to address those in the top echelon." A feeling which wasn't exactly helped by his attitude.

"No kidding. Then by that logic, I guess you got nothing to say to me."

I waved. "Hey, Karma." I hadn't been surprised to see that he scored high; I'd seen and helped him with the prepwork books he'd been poring over the day of the summer festival.

"Hey, Nick," he said, pulling out his test scores and glancing them over. Karma Akabane - from thirteenth to second in the grade, placing above everyone except Asano himself. "I shouldn't get cocky," he sighed. "Teach'll probably be all like, 'Nah, that doesn't count unless you come in first.'"

"Woah, Karma," Nagisa breathed.

I shrugged. "He seems like the type to value hard work over raw standing," I said.

"Not like you've got either," he said lightly. I just rolled my eyes. Fine, sure, I didn't bother studying for those two weeks, so sue me. "Don't you people get it?" he asked, addressing A Class. "I'm the only one here who gave it his all this time around. Everybody else was pulling their punches to give you idiots their fair share - and Nick still got seventh in the grade."

Eh, it wasn't like I cared all that much about rankings. In fact, you might say I aggressively disliked ordinal scales.

"See, they were being nice, because they knew losing would be worse for you, then for us," Karma said patronizingly.

"Excuse me?" Araki snapped.

Karma smirked at them over his shoulder as he turned around. "So yeah, this was a freebie. But you only get one. C'mon, guys," he said as he walked away.

Shrugging, I pushed my way past the stunned A Class idiots, and they didn't do anything to stop me. "I didn't even try," I sighed, walking next to the boy. "It's not _my_ fault the tests were easy."

At the end of the day, we all gathered in the staff room, where Karasuma and Professor Bitch were sitting and doing some paperwork. "We're sorry for all the trouble, Mr. Karasuma," Isogai said. "It won't happen again."

"No harm no foul," the agent said. "All in a day's work." Wasn't... Wasn't the problem _exactly_ that there was harm? Y'know, that old man's cracked leg? "Did you learn your lesson? Did you kids take anything away from this experience?" The class murmured quietly.

"That we're not in this for the money," Nagisa said finally, "or to bump up our grades. We're in this to get stronger. And to use that strength for the greater good, to help people. Knowing how to kill gives us to save them. Intelligence gives us the power to change someone's life."

"And we learned how not to be reckless with our strength," Okajima said, nodding.

Maehara added, "From this point forward, we'll be careful."

Karasuma and Professor Bitch nodded, faint smiles of approval on their faces. I exhaled subtly. "I understand," Karasuma said, standing up. "However, with the way you are now, we can't continue with the intensive training you've been receiving."

"Wha?!" the class exclaimed. I raised an eyebrow in confusion. Were we still being punished?

"I mean, look at this," Karasuma said, tossing a dirty, tattered gym jumpsuit on the desk. I winced at the state of the clothing. There were holes and torn places everywhere.

"Ah, that's mine," Okajima said.

"Training and assassinations will become more difficult," Karasuma said, walking outside. "The strength of your gym clothes will no longer be able to handle it. If they get worn out, parents will become suspicious as well... And most importantly, their defensive capabilities are lacking."

We all looked out into the hall, and my eyes widened at the sight waiting for us.

* * *

"Failure and frustration," Korosensei said, looking off over the landscape, "can be wellsprings for growth. Something tells me my boys and girls will be richer for this experience. From here on out, they'll apply themselves more thoughtfully."

I didn't really care about all of that, I just wanted at the delicious food he was cooking. It smelled amazing and I was starving.

"Now then," Korosensei said, looking down at the grill where several skewers of food were sizzling. "Time for some BBQ with the foie gras I purchased at a French farmer's market. Glad I could keep this piece on the D-L, nue-heh-heh-heh..."

I glanced around, caught Nakamura's eyes, and nodded. She nodded back. We both crept carefully to the edge looking over the barbecue pit.

Then with a sudden jump we launched ourselves off. Nakamura slammed into the grill, sending the food flying, while I swung the twin pair of knives at the air surrounding the skewers. Ritsu had run the trajectories we were going to expect; a few of the skewers didn't follow the plan, but most of them went where we expected. Meanwhile, Korosensei was shrieking in surprise.

I felt the satisfying tug of my blade passing through something, before I landed heavily on the ground, letting the momentum carry me to my knees as I sheathed the knives. Reaching out, I snatched one of the skewers from the air and cradled it carefully, blowing on the meat before taking a bite.

Mm, delicious.

Unfortunately, Korosensei was able to grab the rest from the air with his newly-regenerated tentacles, so no extra food for me. "Wh-Where in the blazes did you come from?" Korosensei exclaimed.

Nakamura stood up. "Whoa," she breathed, staring at her gloved hands and pushing her new hood back. "That was a serious drop, and I barely felt a thing!"

"Mm-hm," I nodded, swallowing my next bite. "Hah, hah, hot!" I hissed as it burned down my throat and into my stomach, then coughed once and bounced lightly on my toes. "My knees don't even hurt, too."

The hiss of air guns echoed out from where I knew Hayami and Chiba were crouched in the trees, sniping at Korosensei. With yelps of panic, the octopus dodged the shots.

While they were keeping him busy, the rest of E Class threw down ropes and rappelled down the mountain. "Uh?" Korosensei asked as we all surrounded him. "I scarcely had time to breathe!"

"Sorry, sir," Isogai said. "We wanted you to see this."

"Brand new equipment from your pal, the government," Karasuma said. "I told them not to tip their hand, but they couldn't resist. They felt it was important you see for yourself how discrete they could be."

...

"Starting today," Karasuma said, "physical education will be carried out wearing that."

I stretched, clenching and unclenching my fists as I ran my body through the expected range of motions. Nothing so much as tugged on me; it was like the clothes were just another layer of skin.

Our new gym equipment were incredibly well-designed uniforms. They were grey in color, with dark-blue sleeves and gloves. They had built-in knee pads and buttoned up tightly, with hoods that could be pulled up and buttoned to keep them there. To make things even better, there were even a bunch of pockets running along both sides of the jacket and pants, so I didn't have to worry about running out of room to store ammunition, grenades, or anything else that could fit in the pouches.

The only difference between the boys and girls uniform was that the girls' outfits had no sleeves instead of the short-sleeves the guys had; instead, the dark blue ran up to their shoulders. They also had short shorts instead of pants, and their jacket bared their midriff, but I didn't expect the defensive capabilities to be any different.

"You won't find tougher PE clothes anywhere else in the world," Karasuma said. "They're made of a reinforced fiber jointly developed by the military and a corporation. They're resistant to shock, cutting, stretching, fire... Basically anything you can think of."

"Wait, back that up a step or two," I muttered. "Fire?"

"Every factor is cutting edge," Karasuma told us. "They just so happened to be looking for performance test monitors," he said. "That means, they were made just for you guys."

Kimura hefted a folded pair of the equipment, boots and all. "It's super light," he said. "How is it lighter than our jerseys?"

Yada bounced up and down. "And these shoes are really bouncy," she said.

"Yeah I'm still wondering about the fire thing," I said to myself.

Karasuma smiled. "Don't think that those are its only features. The dye in the clothes react to a special volatile substance, allowing you to temporarily change the color of your clothes however you want. No matter where you are, you can display a camouflage effect. There are shock-absorbent polymers protecting the shoulders, back, and waist," he continued. "And if you wear the hood and blow air into it, you have complete defense, even for your head and neck."

Holy shit.

"In other words," he said, "you can execute dangerous assassinations without receiving injuries."

"Show of hands, who wants to test these out right now?" I called out. Everyone raised their hands. "Heck yeah, let's do this. Ritsu, where's Korosensei now?"

The AI in the corner of the room lit up. "He's out back!" she reported. "I think he's cooking something, since my sensors indicate a higher temperature than it should be."

"Neat." I punched my fist into my hand. Amazing, my ring didn't even hurt. "Let's be about it, people."

...

"Oooh," Korosensei said as Kayano pulled a gun and posed, giggling.

Terasaka said, "Whatever you teach us, we'll use it to kill you. That's how assassination classroom works."

"But don't worry, sir," Kataoka said, "whatever you teach us we'll use for good. See, as far as we're concerned, our strength is to be used for protecting people."

"Full marks for that answer," Korosensei nodded, his face lighting up in the orange correct sign and letting out little ding-ding sounds. "When I first came to this class, what bloodlust I found was aimless. And even then, only a handful of you possessed it. There was negligible danger of being assassinated," he admitted, "but the atmosphere was stagnant. Now, however, the whole campus is alive with razor-sharp killer instinct."

I had to admit, my bloodlust _did_ feel more controlled, now. It used to be that it would lash out at everything and everyone, the viper barely restrained by my iron-hard self-control.

Now, though, it was sleeping until I needed it to be awake. It definitely made sneaking up on Korosensei easier, at least. See? I can learn. It's just that most of the time I choose not to, that's all.

* * *

 **Nick is surprisingly okay with kids. Even if he doesn't get the whole reason why.**

 **This chapter is more about the stealth importance – more about what** _ **isn't**_ **said, than what is. A pretty big one is in the very beginning of the chapter, when the kids are doing the whole parkour thing. And then those idiots do stupid stuff, and they get in trouble, and then bad things happen. Fun fact, I actually did flip a coin to see what Nick would do; if it came up tails, he was going to practice walking through crowds without disturbing them. Blending and moving through the crowd** _ **as**_ **part of the crowd, disguising his presence that way. But the coin came up heads, so, he did the stupid thing.**

 **Helping out at the nursery was a weird thing; Nick didn't really think he was good with kids, and his talents really aren't specialized towards helping out with things like that. And then, offscreen, they seem to really like him? Kids are weird. Still, he put up with it surprisingly well, I guess. One thing I wondered about showing but ended up scrapping the idea was Nick roughhousing with them, since he was able to toss them around pretty well. Then I decided nah, he'll just be another tutor.**

 **Finally, the new gym equipment! Hooray. Now Nick doesn't have to worry about breaking bones like an idiot when he jumps off a cliff. Instead, he'll just nail the landing and eat some barbecue. I tried to make sure it was described enough for a mental image, but if it's not just take a look at the manga/anime. They'll be protected better now.**

 **Many thanks to everyone that favorited, followed, or reviewed.**


	7. Reaper Time

**Chapter 7: Reaper Time**

* * *

The morning after we received our neat new gym clothes, I ended up walking to class with Yada, Okano, and Kurahashi. They were at the bottom of the hill when I arrived, so I just casually joined them and we walked up.

Just ahead of us when we reached the top of the mountain was Professor Bitch. "What do you think, Professor Bitch?" Yada said as we walked up behind her. "Is the gear we got yesterday awesome or what?"

"Right?" Okano said, nodding. "Mr. K sure knows how to kick things up a notch."

Professor Bitch laughed indulgently. "FYI," she said, "I had a teeny bit of input for the overall design. For which, you're welcome," she said, stopping and raising a finger. Ritsu buzzed my phone, and I pulled it out of my pocket. "That oaf wanted the same style for the whole class."

I peered at the screen of my phone. "Those were the original suggestions?" I asked. The Karasuma was what the guys ended up with.

"Glad he vetoed the Irina," Okano muttered.

Yada smiled weakly. "It's cute, but... it's not super functional."

They had a point. The Irina was literally just a bikini with pockets, and then a short micro skirt. I mean, they had gloves and boots too, but... that was it. And while that might have worked in Aincrad and Alfheim, this world ran on more realistic rules. The +2 Bikini of Water Protection would just be asking to be disemboweled here.

The Compromise, eventually, was what the girls ended up with.

"Yeah, well," Professor Bitch said while turning away. "At least one of your teachers understands women." Is she pouting? It sounds like she's pouting. "Blockhead couldn't even be bothered to give me a present," she muttered as she walked away.

The four of us just watched her leave, confused by the random non-sequitur. "Oh!" Yada gasped suddenly. "Oh no, of course! October 10th was four days ago!"

"Ah!" Okano and Kurahashi gasped in realization. "Professor Bitch's birthday!" they chorused in dismay.

A few more of our classmates had arrived; I drifted out of the main mob and towards the back, where Nagisa and Kayano were standing. "So, we missed it while we were helping out at the preschool, huh?" Okajima said.

"She was hoping for a present from Mr. K," Okano said, "but as expected she didn't get one."

"And her pride wouldn't let her say anything, right?" Yada sighed. "She's as awkward as ever, huh?"

Isogai frowned. "But... well, we're kinda at fault too, y'know? If we hadn't gotten in trouble, Mr. Karasuma wouldn't have needed to work so hard."

Maehara grinned with the grin of a man who has an idea, and the expression spread like wildfire to the rest of the class. Minus Kurahashi, of course, who was looking dismayed. "Alright," he said. "Should we give her another push on the back?"

...

I blinked, realizing something. The seven of us that were on the Birthday Present Squad were the same group of seven from the trip to Kyoto. Hopefully, this trip will be slightly less eventful than the last time we all went out together.

Sugino had his phone out, and suddenly Maehara's voice crackled through the line. "We're a go," he said. "The Fox and the Hound have been separated."

"And that's another thing," I said, completely forgetting that I hadn't said the first thing out loud. "Why are the codenames Fox and Hound? The second is trying to hunt the first, so who's who in this situation? We call Professor Bitch, well, that's what a female dog is, but doesn't she want Karasuma to chase her?" It just doesn't make sense.

"Right, let's do this," Sugino said, the six of them casually ignoring my little rant with long practice. "What exactly are you supposed to get someone who already has two of everything? Nick, got any ideas?"

"Huh?" I asked. "Why me?"

"Because you have a girlfriend?"

"Point," I said. "Um... yeah, that's not gonna work... Kana and I don't really do the presents thing that often? The last thing I got here was a hoodie for Christmas, and I don't think that'd work for Karasuma."

Kanzaki looked at me. "A hoodie?"

I nodded. "It was designed to resemble the one she was wearing when I asked her out," I said casually. "The old one was... lost."

"Aww," Okuda and Kanzaki cooed together. "That's so sweet."

Shifting my weight awkwardly, I shrugged. "Regardless, the situation is very much not the same as between me and Kana, so any advice I could give is kinda useless." I don't understand relationships very well.

Kayano frowned. "It's not gonna be easy."

"Everyone pitched in," Nagisa said, looking at the envelope he'd been carrying the money in. "Five thousand yen... Not a whole lot, but it's better than nothing. Question is, will it be enough to buy a proper grown-up gift?"

"...It's you kids?" I looked over at the source of the voice. "Hey, over here!" I blinked in shock; it was that grey-haired florist guy. The one with the flower van. I could read the text on the side, now - 'Flower Angel'. Huh. "Everything okay with that man? Y'know, the old-timer on the bicycle?"

Nagisa's eyes lit up with recognition. "You're the flower guy who called the ambulance!" he said. "He managed to forgive us after a couple of weeks, yeah," he said sheepishly. Not like we could tell this random person on the street that we'd paid hush money to keep the situation secret, no... "Thanks for helping us out."

"No sweat," the flower guy said. "I'm glad it wasn't as bad as it looked."

"Simple fracture, from what I heard," I said. "The old man was on his feet in two weeks, and everything should be fine."

"But, pardon," the flower guy said, raising a finger, "I couldn't help but hear you're in the market for a grown-up gift?"

Kanzaki leaned forward, smiling. "Yes," she said. "Yes we are!"

"Well..." The flower guy turned and dug in his little shop, before turning around and extending a hand towards Kanzaki. "What about something like this?"

Kanzaki stared at the beautiful red rose he'd handed her, entranced by the flower. Spots of red rose to her cheeks, and she gasped quietly. I think that flower's sparkling... "Oh, I get it!" Kayano said excitedly. "A bouquet!"

"In this day and age, we can have whatever we want," Flower Guy said, turning to his wares. "But flowers are still the go-to gift of choice. Why do you suppose that is?"

"Hm?" all of us guys said curiously. What? It wasn't like any of us understood what went through a girl's mind when we gave them gifts.

Flower Guy deftly plucked the flowers from their baskets, arranging the roses in a beautiful bouquet of colors. I could smell the scent of the flowers, almost overpowering but not quite. "It's not just about romance. Their color, their shape and scent..." he said with a charming smile. "The fact that they don't last. Flowers are the ideal metaphor for the human condition."

"Oh my," Okuda said, clasping her hands together. "You're a persuasive salesman, sir."

Karma grinned easily. "Quite the poetic little speech," he said. "That calculator part of the symbolism?"

Flower Guy had been holding a calculator in his left hand while offering the bouquet with his right, but he scratched the back of his head sheepishly on being called out on it. "Hey, I'm just trying to make a living," he said with a laugh. "So, uh, you in? I'll cut you a deal," he said. "It's flowery fate."

Quite the salesman, this man. The others all seemed convinced; or, at least the ones that were paying attention to what he was saying. Kanzaki, meanwhile, was still too entranced by the rose she'd been gifted, and Sugino was staring at her with a light blush and captivated eyes. My guess, he's trying to figure out how to swing giving her a gift too.

After we purchased a flower bouquet - Kanzaki was the one holding it, so I was mildly curious to see if Sugino would walk into traffic on accident - Kayano said, "He was a good person, wasn't he? That flower shop guy."

Nagisa smiled and nodded. I looked back; that man was waving at us with a bright smile. Quite easy-going, and it was easy to feel at ease with him.

"U-mm..." Sugino said with a laugh, "I never really understood the value of flowers."

"Well," Karma said, "there's probably a good chance that Professor Bitch will be happy."

So... nobody's going to comment on how that salesman just said that it was in the fate of all humans to die? To wither and fade? We're just going to let that go? Alright then, I guess, that works. Cool.

When we arrived back at the campus to hand off the gift, Professor Bitch was distracted, as planned. I checked on the group with Ritsu's little eavesdropping tool.

"Hah! Don't fret, my little darlings! There's enough Professor Bitch to go around! Just don't get turned on, that would be crossing the line."

I stared at the screen, humming in thought, and then carefully and deliberately poked the 'Close Feed' button. "That was, uh, timing," I said.

Well, it looked like the others were doing their job properly. They'd been tasked with keeping Professor Bitch occupied, and I guess whatever they'd asked her to do, she was definitely into it. Though, uh, I think I'd like to avoid thinking about _what_ exactly she was doing, given that little outburst that I'd overheard.

We walked into the office and offered the gift to Karasuma. "Mr. K, look," Kayano chirped. "A birthday gift for Professor Bitch!"

Karasuma turned to look at us. "That's a very nice bouquet of flowers, don't get me wrong," he said. "But, why me? They'd mean so much more coming from you."

Wow. He really is da densest. Like, I'd compare him to Kazuto, except this guy might be _genuinely_ clueless, not just playing it up to avoid hurting the feelings of the girls interested in him.

"Mr. K, please," Karma said calmly. "Look at this way, Professor Bitch is a vital asset to the mission. All in a day's work, sir, winning over your colleague can only help things, right?" Karma's got quite the smooth tongue, doesn't he? It's kinda impressive. He laughed. "Just let her think they're from you... Cool?"

"...I see your point," Karasuma said finally, lowering his head in thought. "Very well, I'll do it," he said, taking the bouquet of flowers from Nagisa's hand. "Thanks for your dedication."

As we walked out of the classroom, I lifted my phone. "Alright, Ritsu," I said, "go time."

She nodded.

A few minutes later, the lookouts - Maehara and Okajima - and the distraction team - basically everyone else - joined us on the ground outside the staff room. That was fast... I turned on the audio feed from Professor Bitch's phone and we all leaned in to listen. "Ugh! Nice. Absolutely perfect! I'm right back to being Miss Lonely Hearts."

Did... Did they all just ditch her? Just, like, run out and leave in the middle of whatever the distraction was? I'm almost afraid to ask what they were doing with her...

The staff door slammed open with a bang, and my shoulders twitched. Killing the audio feed, I joined the rest of the class in peering through the window. "Hey, Karasuma, you won't _believe_ what just happened," Professor Bitch snapped. "Those self-centered bra..."

She trailed off in the middle of her usual insults as Karasuma turned around. "Oh, Irina," he said. "Good timing."

Professor Bitch looked stunned, her eyes wide and her previous anger all but forgotten. "What is this?" she breathed."

"I know I'm late," Karasuma said, "but... happy birthday." He extended the bouquet to Irina.

"...Wait, these are for me?" Irina breathed, staring at the bouquet. She was blushing like a pure maiden. "And they're from you?"

"Sorry I let the actual day slip by," Karasuma said. "Things got busy."

We were all watching and listening, eager to see if this would work out. "No, it's fine," Irina said demurely. "I'm delighted. Thank you so much." She giggled and hugged the bouquet, smiling in pure delight. "You old dog! I thought you forgot it. Is this real, or is there something up your sleeve?"

"I do want to mark the occasion," Karasuma said. "This is the first and last of your birthday's we'll celebrate together."

"Ohhh..." I gasped, pressing my hands to my mouth in shock. " _Oh. Ohhh,_ that's gotta sting. Oh man."

Irina's face went blank from confusion for a second, before resolving into the usual sultry look she wore. "Oh, don't be silly," she said. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Just what it sounds like," Karasuma said. "Stands to reason, yes? Either the mission's going to end, or the world will." Professor Bitch was barely clinging to her composure; she was shaking, and it looked like she was mortified for some reason. Her lips were trembling, and it seemed like she was about to cry. "Either way, this will end in less than half a year."

Suddenly, she stomped past Karasuma. He turned to look in confusion as she approached the window -

-oh shit.

Professor Bitch slammed the window open, and we all froze guiltily. "Oh hey there..." Nakamura said awkwardly. Not really much we can do, given that we were all caught listening in on the confession.

"Well, we're screwed," Yoshida said.

"I figured you had to be behind this," Professor Bitch said as she stared down at us. There wasn't any trace of the innocent joy she'd been expressing earlier, or even the anger or frustration. It was just dull, impersonal contempt. "A bouquet of flowers, huh? Like the square would think of doing something like that for me of his own will."

She whipped out a pistol and fired directly above her. "Ugyahh!" Korosensei yelped, crashing to the ground. Stupid pervert octopus... I'd noticed him watching since the beginning, but did he really think he'd be stealthy, clinging to the roof? Seriously, what's with the directional microphone and the camera? We could hear just fine.

"You enjoy yourselves?" Professor Bitch demanded, taking a seat on the windowsill and still waving the smoking gun around. "Stringing me along, so you can watch a pro assassin get her hopes up?"

"That's not the case at all, Miss Irina," Korosensei protested on our behalf. "The children's intentions were utterly pure!"

"Save it, octo-razzi!" Professor Bitch snapped. Yeah, can't blame her on that one.

Professor Bitch stared at us before her lips curved in a hard little smirk. Still without saying a word, she stood up and holstered her pistol on the thigh strap before strutting away towards the exit of the room. As she passed Karasuma, she tossed the bouquet of flowers against his chest.

"You've opened my eyes," she said, her voice lacking any enthusiasm as she walked past him without so much as a glance. "Best birthday present ever. Thank you."

As Professor Bitch strode out of the building and down the dirt path that led down the mountain, Sugino shouted, "Hold up!"

"Professor Bitch, please!" Kataoka called desperately.

Professor Bitch didn't respond, she just kept walking without looking back.

"Not to point fingers or anything, Mr. K," Maehara said to our other teacher, "but that was kinda cold of you, don't you think?"

"Don't tell us you still haven't noticed how she feels!" Okano demanded.

Karasuma didn't look at us. "You kids don't really think I'm _that_ oblivious, do you?"

"Eh...?" Kurahashi said quietly.

"Kinda, yeah," I said flatly.

He turned around and placed the bouquet of flowers on his desk. "I'm a heartless bastard for good reason," he said. "Emotions can't be allowed to get in the way of what needs to be done. We're professionals. If her feelings for me can dull her blade," he said, finally looking at us, "then she's not qualified to be an assassin. That's _all_ there is to it."

"But, Mr. Karasuma," Nagisa protested.

Meh, I can see where he's coming from, and there's no way any of us can change his mind now. Either way, regardless of whether I think he was a little bit too much of an asshole to her - which, by the by, I think he was - the damage was done. I'm sure we could go searching for Professor Bitch down at the bottom of the hill, but at this point she was so irritated she probably wouldn't listen to a thing any of us tried to say.

Yeah, it'd be best to wait until tomorrow, when she'd had the night to cool off and blow off some steam. She's probably ranting about Karasuma right now, though...

* * *

After that, Professor Bitch hadn't returned to classes. Which, let me just say, made it really hard to have Language Arts class without the Language Arts teacher. I even attempted to pull up her location data using her phone, but the tracking software I'd had Ritsu download onto everyone's phones didn't report her at all. Her phone was probably off, in that case.

"She hasn't been here in three days," Chiba said.

"We really crossed the line this time, guys," Yada said.

I mean, I think Professor Bitch is just being thin-skinned for some reason. It wasn't like there had been any malicious intent, so why was she overreacting so much? Karasuma had been a jerk, yeah, but that didn't excuse three days of skipping classes.

What a bitch.

"Mr. Karasuma, I understand prioritizing your mission," Korosensei said, "but can't you empathize with Miss Irina a little bit?"

"...I have an interview with another hitman after this," Karasuma said flatly. "I'm heading back to the office."

"Mr. Karasuma!" Chiba said as Karasuma tucked his laptop under his arm and slid the door open.

Karasuma took a step, then stopped. "This is a mission to save the planet," he said. "It's fine for you guys to spend your time as middle school students, but..." Karasuma stared ahead. "She and I are experienced professionals. Compassion is useless."

Hah. I guess we shouldn't have expected anything different. After all, Karasuma was a strict person; and that was even for us at the young age of middle school. For full adults, his requirements would be even higher.

After Karasuma left, we had some time to ourselves. The lunch break was spent quietly, with not many people feeling like chatting or anything like that. I couldn't really blame them; Professor Bitch's absence was starting to be almost concerning, instead of just childish.

"Well, I'm off," Korosensei said suddenly, and I glanced over before blinking in surprise. His face was patterned like a soccer ball, and I'm not entirely sure why. "You can call me if there's any news on Miss Irina. Meanwhile, there's a football tournament in Brazil I must attend, so... _tchau_!" he said, blasting off with a burst of wind.

"So, he's outta here," Maehara said as the wind died down. "What's the deal with him and soccer all of a sudden? Typical once every four years fan," he snorted. "What happened to baseball?"

Korosensei Weakness Number Thirty-Three: He's not quite sure what 'our soccer' is.

"I'm starting to get worried," Kataoka said, turning to Yada, who was trying again to call Professor Bitch. Judging by the beeping, it was just as fruitless as the last ten times she's tried. "I just hope she's okay."

"Yeah, no," Yada said. "Not much luck getting through."

"My GPS scan is coming up negative," Ritsu said. "And no matches on the closed-circuit feeds, either."

"Seriously, you don't think she would leave over something like this?" Chiba said with a thoughtful frown.

The door slid open, and Flower Guy walked in with a bouquet of flowers. "I'm sure that can't be the case," he said. "After all, there's still something important you need her to do."

I stiffened. "Yeah!" Okano said with a smile. "Exactly! Plus, she knows we like having her around!"

"Right," Flower Guy said, striding up to the podium. "You children have bonded rather nicely with her, there's no denying that." I looked around, but nobody was questioning Flower Guy's presence in our classroom. "See, my preliminary reconnaissance confirmed as much."

It was like he was invisible to them, despite talking and answering questions. Nobody questioned that he was supposed to be there.

Nobody but me.

"Hey, pardon me," I said in the still silence of the classroom. Flower Guy looked like he'd been about to continue, but stopped to look at me. "Mind telling me exactly what you're doing here?" I asked, keeping my voice light and casual. Meanwhile, my hand was straying towards the gun hidden in my desk.

"Oh?" Flower Guy said. "I'm surprised you asked. Most people don't even notice me. I'm here because your bond with your teacher offers me something very handy to exploit."

The rest of the class all suddenly reacted, as though they'd just realized Flower Guy had walked into our classroom. Every single one of them, including Karma, were shocked. He'd pulled it off well, walking casually into the classroom without batting an eye.

"Hello," he said brightly. "I'm the assassin commonly known as the Reaper. And today, boys and girls," he smiled, "class is going to be _fun_."

Oh.

Oh, shit.

The rest of the class breathed in shock at the sudden appearance of a massively over-leveled player compared to the rest of us. "It's him," Maehara murmured.

"A flower tends to throw people off-guard," the Reaper said, still smiling. He had a peculiar manner of speaking, with a pleasant voice that left me with the impression there was no reason to be worried at all. "There's hardly a soul alive immune to their charm. Remember my sales pitch? Nagisa, you were taken in. In fact, Nick, you didn't even question me until I walked in. Very impressive, by the way.

"You see," he continued, "there's a reason flowers evolved into such lovely, fragrant varieties." A small ding off to my left sounded, and I looked over. Ritsu had received an email. "Ritsu, would you bring up the image I sent?"

Ritsu didn't reply, but her avatar's image fuzzed out and the image was displayed.

Hara gasped at what was displayed.

"Their purpose," the Reaper said, "is to draw insects." I twitched.

Professor Bitch was bound and tied, clearly unconscious. It looked like she was still alive, hopefully, but there were a few dirt marks and the rope tying her arms and legs together didn't look comfortable. If I had to guess, she'd probably been grabbed after she stomped out - which would explain why she didn't show up to class the next day. If she'd been missing that whole time...

"Is that Professor Bitch?!" Yada exclaimed.

"I'll cut to the chase," the Reaper said. With a piece of chalk, he deftly drew a fairly impressive rendition of Professor Bitch on the blackboard; it was just a simple chalk outline, but it was definitely well done. "It's simple. If you want her to live, show up when and where I tell you to," he said with a smile as he finished sketching Professor Bitch's silhouette. "And by you, I mean your entire class. Not a word of this to your teachers!

"Of course, I can understand if you're not comfortable with those terms," he said, still drawing. My lips tightened as he drew straight lines across the image. "If you'd rather not come, there's always the option of sending her to you," he said casually, like it was no big deal. He laughed. "In tiny, individual, wrapped pieces. One per student. If that's the preference, fine," he said. "Though, one of you will likely be my next flower."

Despite the threats, the Reaper was calm and collected. He was giving off an aura of peace, and it was remarkably difficult for me to keep my guard up. I'd felt threatened the instant he walked through the door to our class, but that wasn't because of him; or, really, it was because I didn't _expect_ him. But now that he was here, talking to us, despite knowing cognitively that the Reaper was the deadliest assassin, my body was trying to relax.

Well, let's face it. He wouldn't do anything to us here, there's no point in taking Professor Bitch hostage and then accosting us here. It's fine to relax; here, this is our turf. No assassin would try to attack a target on such disadvantageous territory.

As my shoulders softened a little bit, Karma looked at me. I looked back, but he seemed calm enough. Wonder what he was looking at me for?

"'Kay, first off," Terasaka snarled, standing up and approaching the podium with Muramatsu and Yoshida, "We got no obligation to save that pushy bitch. So thanks for playing, but no dice. Second, what's to stop us from beatin' the piss out of you right here and now, you kidnappin' bastard?"

Of course, there's such a thing as _too_ relaxed. They didn't seem to be aware of the sheer danger they were in; even while relaxed, my body was thrumming with the electric current of my instincts shrieking, 'This person is dangerous!'. They'd served me well in Aincrad. I trusted them.

"A bold assessment, but entirely wrong," the Reaper said, still smiling. "The woman means more to you than you know." He lifted his head slightly, and his eyes seemed to bore into me. "In fact, I suspect that if you were to let her die, you'd be beside yourselves," he said, his voice dropping to a mildly threatening hiss. "As to your second point," he said with a chuckle, "no human being is capable of taking down the Reaper."

He threw his hand up in the air, scattering the bouquet of flowers everywhere. With a burst of speed I lost track of him as he all but vanished out the same window Korosensei had left open, the flower petals caught in a miniature swirling tornado from the speed of his exit. "Conversely," the Reaper's voice seemed to echo, "human beings are the Reaper's preferred prey."

The class was silent in the wake of his disappearance. Karma had risen from his seat, but didn't say anything.

The paper wrapping of the bouquet had, as it turned out, been a map with a location marked on it on one side, and a message to us from the Reaper on the other. Isogai picked it up. Before he could read it though, I raised my voice. "So, how exactly would the Reaper be able to perform recon on us like that? More importantly, why choose now to walk in so fearlessly?"

"You think..." Maehara said slowly.

I nodded. "My guess is he's got some sort of device listening in. Could someone fetch the bouquet of flowers we purchased three days ago?"

When it was retrieved from the staff room, it was as I suspected. "The bouquet from three days ago..." Isogai said, staring at the small electric machine hidden in the flowers. "So he had a bug in it."

With a snarl, Maehara smashed the bug with the handle of a mop. "He used this to spy on our situation... and then aimed for Professor Bitch when she was alone. He knew that Korosensei was going to Brazil, and that Mr. K had left for work..."

Alright, that's one problem down, at least. I don't see any way for him to get other machinery in here, so I think we're fine.

"But, y'know," Kurahashi said, "I didn't think he was scary enough to be called the Reaper. Do you think he could actually be kinda nice? Like Professor Bitch?"

Karma shoved his hands in his pockets. "Isn't it amazing? He makes you think that way so easily. Probably manages to get everybody to think like that. Up until the moment he kills you, that is."

"Yeah..." Kurahashi said, looking down. "Professor Bitch really is kidnapped, huh..."

"Hey, Isogai, what's the message say?" Kimura said, looking at the paper in Isogai's hands.

"Come to the location marked on the map," Isogai read out loud. "Arrive as a group at 6 pm, and tell no one. Huh."

"Exactly like with Takaoka and Shiro," Chiba said. "They wanna take us hostage. Draw out Korosensei with us as the bait."

Sugino slammed a fist on the table. "Damn!" he snarled.

The rest of the class seemed torn about what to do.

"We using these?"

Of course, in times like these, it's time for the idiots to shine. Terasaka hadn't hesitated in digging out his gym outfit and was holding it up to the class.

"We're doing it to protect someone," Nakamura said, standing up and sliding her chair back with a scrape on the wooden floor. "So yes."

"I don't care if he's the greatest assassin that ever lived," Terasaka said as the rest of the class stood up and gathered in a loose ring. "I'm not about to let that oily S.O.B's plan go off without a hitch."

I smiled faintly as the rest of the class nodded and split up, getting ready for the meeting later tonight.

As the classroom emptied, I waited patiently until the last person had left the campus. "Ah, Nick?" Ritsu said once the classroom was empty. "I think you should listen to this."

I looked at her, and then nodded. "Sure."

'This', as it turned out, was a recorded conversation between Karasuma and Lovro. Judging by the timestamp, it'd happened while we were eating our lunch on break, before Korosensei left for Brazil.

...

"This is Karasuma," Karasuma said. "Lovro, what have you been doing until now?!"

"I almost died," Lovro replied baldly. "Is this line safe?"

"...Yes," Karasuma said. "I'm using a special bandwidth that can't be intercepted."

" _...Heh. Whoops," I laughed._

"...Good. If I carelessly leak information on him, I'll be targeted again. I probably won't get off with just a month in a coma next time."

"Him?" Karasuma asked.

"Karasuma, wash your hands of this assassination," Lovro said. "Or else you'll all be in grave danger."

"What do you mean?"

"'Hitman killing.' My protégé and my associates, one by one, have been killed by someone. His skillful method, and the ability to take down experts. It could only be the Reaper. He's finally started moving."

"The guy you mentioned," Karasuma said. "The world's greatest hitman?"

Lovro replied, "As you well know, an exceptional hitman is well versed in all things. The reason no one knows his true face is because he's an elite disguise artist. The reason he's able to locate assassins without difficulty is because his intel acquiring abilities are elite. The reason competent assassins were helplessly killed... is because his assassination technique is elite.

"The fierce degree of difficulty of the methods which took down the hitmen. That, above all else, is proof that it was _his_ doing. My own life probably doesn't matter anymore," Lovro said. "I won't be able to work for a while either way."

"So," Karasuma said, "he eliminates skilled business rivals, and then goes for the kill when the opportunity arises."

"He's a man who's built a mountain of corpses, easily over a thousand in number," Lovro said. "He'll kill anyone and use anyone. Even if it's a woman, or a middle school student!"

...

I licked my lips. "Well, at least now I know what we're up against," I sighed. "Essentially the ultimate life form. Damn, where's a volcano when you need one..."

"Huh?" Ritsu asked, looking at me in confusion.

"Don't worry about it. Anyway, thanks for showing me that," I said. "Now, would you terribly mind doing me a quick favor?"

"Sure!"

* * *

That night, we all assembled at the location marked on the map, clad in our new gym uniforms. Before we approached the entrance to the totally not sketchy at all warehouse, Itona sent out a few scouting drones to search the area. "That's gotta be the way in," Maehara whispered, watching the entrance through binoculars.

Itona was peering at the feed on his controller. "Bird's-eye loop-around's negative," he reported. We were all hidden in the bushes, taking as few chances as possible when it came to the Reaper. "There's no sign of anyone close by."

"Makes it more ominous," Okuda said.

Hayami lowered her own binoculars. "With a building that size, he could only have a few underlings, right?"

"Also," Fuwa added, "like Nick pointed out, he needed to put the bug in the bouquet to get intel on us. If you look at it another way, that meant he didn't know much about us before that."

I crossed my arms. "Which means we still have a few tricks up our sleeve."

"Listen up, guys," Isogai said, rolling his shoulders. "With these uniforms, and the individual weapons you've honed to kill Korosensei..." Takebayashi adjusted his glasses and Okuda's hand strayed to the bag on her hip. "They're our advantage. No matter how well-informed the enemy is, it's impossible he knows everything. So we'll just pretend we came obediently. But, the instant there's an opening, we'll find and rescue Professor Bitch, and all escape together."

"Okay, Ritsu," Hara said to Ritsu. "If we don't all make it back here by midnight, tell Korosensei what's going on."

"Got it," Ritsu said, bowing her head and clasping her hands to her chest. "Good luck. Be safe, everyone." I smiled at her before pocketing my phone. She really was a sweetheart.

"Let's go," Isogai said, and I sighed. Well, time to get this show on the road. With rustles, we dashed from the bushes and closed in. Kimura reached the entrance first and waited for the rest of us to catch up before pulling open the door. It squeaked a little bit, so... The Reaper had just chosen it recently? But he had to be smart enough to prepare ahead of time.

I can't... I can't see it. His actions just seem foggy, like I can't predict his next move. Is this what normal people feel like? Not being able to comprehend the twists and turns?

I don't like it.

We crept in and spread out, and I took in the room. It was pretty massive, with featureless walls and a spotless floor. Where... What was going on? In a room like this, he can't possibly kill Korosensei. Did he just want us for hostages, or was there some other reason?

I shifted awkwardly as we all separated, keeping our distance. I don't like how this feels. Everyone was covering everyone else, to minimize openings, but somehow it didn't feel right. "Lotta space he's got," Maehara said.

An electric crackle echoed through the warehouse and my head snapped immediately to the source - an old speaker hanging in the corner of the room. He's watching us. I felt the knowledge click into place, though the surrounding puzzle pieces were still irritatingly foggy.

"Is that all of you?" the cheerful voice of the Reaper asked, the tinny whine making my ears hurt. I winced. "Good! Watch the doors!"

The door we'd entered slammed shut on its own, and I frowned. No bets on whether or not we could open it again from the inside. "Ahh," Karma said. "You like to keep an eye on us. Huh, kinda kinky. Reaper peeper, alright, sure. Why not?"

"Look, we've held up our end of the bargain!" Kataoka shouted from the center of the room. "So give back Professor Bitch and let us get on with our lives, okay?"

The Reaper didn't answer. Instead, the floor shook and rumbled, and my stomach lurched. An elevator?! "The whole floor's going down?!" Nagisa shouted. As the room shook and shuddered, it started slowly sliding down and I stared at the wall. What I'd thought was just a simple concrete wall was sliding up, revealing that it was actually a part of the real structure, not the elevator we'd walked into.

Finally, the room came to a halt, and revealed the cage we were standing in. The walls around us were the same as before, but the concrete wall had been replaced with jail-like bars. And on the other side... "The trap is complete!" the Reaper said, smiling. "Snaring you as a group is the best way, saves me a lot of time."

"Ah!" the class gasped, staring past the genial man. "Professor Bitch!"

She was tied at the edge of the room, obscured in shadow, but we could still see her. Her wrists were tied together, and her head was slumped. Still unconscious, I guess.

Immediately, the others started spreading out and banging on the walls. "Ah... Crap!" Mimura muttered.

"No worries," the Reaper said. "If he comes quietly, no one gets killed."

I sighed, leaning against the bars. I kept the Reaper in my peripheral vision, but mainly watched the class. At least, some things are starting to fall into place. "Well, that's good," I said. "Thanks for being considerate." Hey, if he's going to be polite about this whole kidnapping thing, might as well return the favor. "By the by, any chance I could get some takeout? I ate something light before coming here, but I'm starving again already. Youthful metabolism, y'know?"

The Reaper shook his head. "Sorry, can't do that. I don't think I can afford to take my eyes off you for a second."

"Worth a shot," I shrugged. "Oh well, had to ask."

Okajima clung at the bars, giving them a subtle shake. "What about if we, like, resist or something?" he asked. "Would you be mad enough to kill us then?"

"Oh, relax," the Reaper said soothingly. "It's pitiful how scared you are."

Okajima smiled weakly. "Uh, sorry! Can't really do much about it!"

Don't play it up too much, now.

"Here!" Mimura shouted, pointing at the wall he'd been banging on. "This section sounds hollow!"

Takebayashi pulled out the shaped charge he'd been carrying around and rushed over, planting it on the wall. "A fitted charge," he muttered. When it detonated, we'd be safe but the concussive blast would shatter the wall.

"A few smokescreen capsules," Okuda said, throwing the pellets down. Purple smoke billowed out, obscuring our sight. I moved towards the center of the room, getting away from the cell.

The explosion rocked the room, but as soon as it cleared we all ducked through the new exit and slipped into the hallway that the explosion had revealed. We didn't waste any time, hurrying down the hall.

"Oh hoh hoh!" I heard the Reaper say. "Yes, good! Make it _fun_." I licked my lips as a shiver of electricity sparked down my spine. I couldn't see him. I couldn't predict him.

But every instinct in my body was shrieking that he was deadly.

The hallway we'd breached actually led into a maze of branching passages, making it easy for us to put some distance between us and the Reaper. Unfortunately, we had no real idea where to go; with how he'd modified the building already, any floor plans we had prepared were basically useless. "Okay," Isogai said, his voice echoing strangely in the cramped halls. "Moment of truth's upon us."

A by now familiar electric whine filled the air as the Reaper activated the speaker system in the building. "Hello? E Class, can you hear me? Nice work!" he said.

I nodded. "Aw, warm fuzzies. He's a nice guy, complimenting us like that," I said.

"Right now," he said, "you all are in a closed underground space. All exits connecting to the outside are electronically locked. The only way to unlock them is to have iris recognition software scan my eyes. In other words, in order to leave this place, your only option is to defeat me and make me open the doors."

Well, there was a second option; technically, we needed his eyes, not him. Buuut, eye stuff makes me queasy, so let's not even consider that, mmkay?

"Honestly, I'm happy you escaped! It'll be a good warmup for the real game. I expect great things!"

With another crackle, the speakers went quiet. "I knew it," Hayami muttered. "It's like a game to him."

My biggest problem was that while he didn't take this seriously, I couldn't know what he was going to do next. There was no model of him; the puzzle was barely filled in.

Off to the side, Nagisa looked just as unsettled as I did.

We grouped up around Isogai as he crouched in the hallway. "Alright, we're gonna split up into three groups," he whispered. "This place is so small, we won't be able to move if we stick together."

"Agreed," we all murmured.

"Team A is battle," he said. That was Karma, me, Yoshida and Muramatsu, Kimura, Okano, Maehara, Chiba, Nagisa, Isogai, and Kayano. "Other than Kayano, our communication link, everyone is a fighter. The Reaper and possible minions might be around. We'll be searching for them, and if we find them, take them out with one strike. If the other two teams meet with an enemy, call Team A for backup immediately. We'll head over to catch them in a pincer attack.

"Team B is search and rescue," Isogai continued. Team B consisted of Mimura, Hayami, Yada, Kurahashi, Nakamura, Kanzaki, Okajima, Sugino, and Kataoka. "I'm worried about Professor Bitch being unconscious... I don't want the enemy to have her as a hostage. Kataoka and Sugino will defend as you guys go to save her.

"Team C is collecting intel," he said. That was Sugaya, Fuwa, Hara, Okuda, Takebayashi, Hazami, Itona, and Terasaka. "Using Terasaka as a shield, each member will use their abilities to search for an escape route other than the ones the Reaper mentioned."

I had to admit, I was impressed. Isogai split everyone up insanely quick just by talking to me for a few seconds about what each member of the class was good at - and really, he'd probably decided on the teams already and was just getting a second opinion, come to think about it. He really had a knack for this whole leadership thing.

"If you find a surveillance camera, destroy it immediately," he told us. "And Ritsu, we're trusting you to ensure smooth communication between teams."

I stared at Isogai's phone. "Yeah, not feelin' it," Ritsu said, staring blankly at us as she picked her nose. She was dressed in pajamas and a bright red 'hacked' sticker was on her cheek. "Be realistic, like _I'm_ gonna go up against the Reaper."

Everyone just kinda stared at her. I would have laughed, if we hadn't needed her.

"I'd rather power down than, like, _do_ stuff," she said, staring at a TV screen in her world. The floor in her simulated apartment was super messy, with trash and dirty clothes scattered everywhere. A few Owazon boxes were stacked near a pile of dirty clothes, and basically everything that could be ascribed to a dirty slob was there.

"Ritsu's been hacked!" the class hissed.

I frowned. Mobile Ritsu was easier to hack than her actual terminal, yes, but still; she stayed connected to our phones thanks to wireless communication between us. We didn't have any reception in the building, so he couldn't have gotten in that way; the Reaper must have somehow found a weakness and exploited it. But that wouldn't explain how fast he managed to crack the security - even Yui and Din, literal AIs, took longer than that to break weaker firewalls than what Ritsu and I had set up. For the Reaper to break through so fast, that meant he had to...

...have an existing hole waiting for him. The image he sent. Earlier today, of Professor Bitch. It must have contained a virus that would give him backdoor access to the system.

Well, shit.

"We still have the transceiver app," Fuwa said. "Let's just play it by ear."

We all split up into our groups. "Don't forget to stay alert!" Isogai hissed. "Disperse!"

"Yeah!" the class hissed back.

Team A moved swiftly through the halls, searching in a strict pattern for any enemies. "The Reaper is probably going to come at us with a surprise attack," Maehara said. "Since assassins aren't good with frontal assaults. Based on our experience, we'll have the advantage by outnumbering him." The fight against Gun flashed in my mind briefly. "We'll avoid the surprise attack and drag him into a battle. If we all attack him at once with this," he said as we all dug into our pockets and pulled out the Tasers we'd brought, "we can force him down!"

Footsteps echoed through the hall.

"Shit," I murmured as I turned to search for the source of the sound. It wasn't hard to find; the shadow was stretched toward us. "So much for a sneak attack. Looks like he really is coming at us from the front."

See? Exactly like that. He wasn't taking this seriously, this wasn't anything I could predict. He was just playing the fool, taking the time to hunt us down and warm up.

"He's coming," Nagisa hissed.

As the Reaper walked into view, the members of Team A gasped and tensed. The Reaper... The bloodlust he was giving off was ominous and dark, yes, but more than that it made it nearly impossible to focus on his body. It was like staring at a freely-shifting shadow, where everything was dangerous and yet nothing was threatening at the same time. He was humanoid, but... that was it.

How? How is he doing that?

I stepped back and blinked slowly, letting the calm of Future Step wash over me. It was pointless to try and activate it here, but I could still trick my mind into expecting the calmness. As I opened my eyes again, something was different; the smoky shadow had firmed up, resolving into a firm shadow. It wasn't formless anymore; it was a man, with blackness covering him. His bloodlust still obscured his motives, but not his movements. I exhaled, licking my lips.

This wasn't any different from facing a Floor Boss, after all.

"Take him down!" Muramatsu shouted, charging at the Reaper with Yoshida.

"Dumbass is walking right into us!" Yoshida shouted.

They both lunged, striking with the Tasers at the center of mass, but the Reaper dodged them easily. So easily. With an almost negligent backhand, he smashed the two boys to the ground, and they toppled. They didn't get back up.

"Hand to hand combat was the first skill I honed as an assassin," the Reaper said. He walked forward calmly.

He almost vanished, appearing behind Kimura. "So, as you might imagine," he said, smashing Kimura to the side with a brutal punch. Kimura slammed into the wall and slumped. "I'm rather good at it," he said with a satisfied air. "A talent 99 percent unnecessary as a professional, but... without it, one percent of my quarry would survive."

It was strange. By him attacking us like this, pieces were starting to slip into place. The shadow was starting to fade around him; his hands, his knuckles, his arms.

"If you want to be a killer," he said, as Maehara and Isogai tensed. "It's an indispensable tool. Take my word for it!" he said, smiling.

He stepped forward. A rush of wind accompanied him as he blew past Isogai and Maehara without touching them, stopping right beside Kayano.

Fast... Faster than Karasuma? Or was it a trick of the shadows-

"Gah!" Kayano gasped in pain as the Reaper slammed a brutal knee into her chest. A nasty crunching sound echoed out.

As she shuddered, gasping for air like a fish out of water, the Reaper sighed. "Hah... Females are so fragile. Did I break your ribs? Guess I'll have to be a little gentler with the other hostages now."

Someone moved, and I snapped my head to the side as Nagisa stepped forward. "Everyone, stay back," he said lowly, stepping forward. He had a bare knife in his right hand. He had hard, electric blue eyes; the same eyes he had when fighting Takaoka, filled with bloodlust on the rooftop. "Leave this guy to me."

"Are you outta your mind?" Karma asked, staring in concern.

I glanced at Kayano. She was alright, clutching at her chest on the floor. That crunching noise... The Reaper had thought it was her ribs breaking, but it was just the impact-sensitive frame in our coat.

"Nagisa," I said. "Don't be an idiot. You won't win. You _can't_ win."

The boy didn't listen to me, and he just stepped forward. Was he out of control with anger? No, he looked calm. This was under control. I looked a little closer, and I could see the python in his bloodlust. He was using anger to mask it, the same way I did at times. Clever.

The knife in his right hand. The Taser in his left.

He was going to try to use the clap again, the one he used against Takaoka.

It was a valid strategy, I suppose. He'd warned us he might try it out before we walked inside, if it came down to a fight, and he wasn't relying on just the technique. His goal, I knew, was to create an opening; if the Reaper focused on the knife, he would use the clap like before. If he expected that, focusing on the pocket, then Nagisa would use the knife and go for his throat.

Either way, there would be an instant where the Reaper was open, and we'd all attack.

Nagisa started to raise his hands.

The Reaper slammed his palms together right in front of Nagisa.

The hidden python was blown away, severed at the head.

"No!" Isogai gasped as the knife fell from Nagisa's nerveless fingers.

The Reaper stepped forward, past Nagisa, and appeared behind Isogai. Karma turned around just in time, and I could see the small, self-deprecating smirk on his face.

And then the sound of blows filled the hallway as the Reaper struck.

Everyone else collapsed, unconscious.

Except me. The Reaper's shadows had dissolved just enough for me to see the strike that was coming my way and block it. I barely managed to get my arms up in time; that blow was insanely powerful, and if I hadn't blocked I'd be joining the others on the floor unconscious right now.

"Oh?" he said as my arms fell, nerveless from tanking the impact of the blow. I tried to form a fist, but my fingers just twitched. "That's really impressive, Nick! You managed to block."

"How?" I asked him, trying to buy time. I could tell he loved to monologue. "How did you do that to Nagisa?"

He grinned widely as he stepped in front of Nagisa. The boy just stood there, frozen. "The classic stunner clap!" he said, his smile wide. "Yours and Lovro's might conceivably startle a cat, but in sufficiently skilled hands the move can accomplish quite a bit more. Human consciousness has a frequency, you see. The higher the peaks, the more sensitive it is to stimulus. When your prey is in a particularly agitated state of mind, a powerful enough soundwave can work wonders.

"Of course, they'll be startled," he said casually. Nagisa was just trembling, barely able to move. "That's hardly all. Oh, oh no. The involuntary nervous system will be temporarily paralyzed." Shit. Nagisa collapsed to his knees. This... This was the power of someone who maxed out their skill tree.

"Huh. So... that's it?" the Reaper asked as Nagisa just twitched on the floor involuntarily. "You're the only one still up, Nick. Except... I seem to be short a few of you."

I grimaced as he stood there, watching me.

* * *

I ran down the halls, skidding to a halt when I finally found Team C. "Guys," I panted. "Did you find anything?"

"Yeah, something," Takebayashi said. "There's a wall on the inner part of the building that has a large open space behind it."

"More importantly," Hazami drawled, "how'd you get away from the Reaper? We heard the scuffle from Yoshida's mic before it got smashed when the idiot got taken out."

I shook my head. "I barely managed to block an attack. Everyone else was down, and I ran. Don't know why he let me go. I'd suspect he tracked me, but I know I lost him while I rabbited. I think he's going after Team B. I hope they rescue Irina before he reaches them." I licked my lips. "So, what's the verdict? This just a trap for us?"

Fuwa frowned. "We're pretty sure this is actually just a trap to kill Korosensei. We're not sure how, yet."

"Oh, I'm disappointed."

I froze and turned, backing away to put distance between me and the Reaper. Where did he- "Oh, don't worry, Nick," he said soothingly. The shadow was gone, now; he was wearing a black cloak, though, which served to hide his motions anyway. "I didn't follow you. No, I had to check up on Irina, first. Turns out, she took out the students that tried to rescue her all by herself!"

"So you turned her?" I asked, jaw lowered. "Dirty trick, pretending to use her as a hostage."

"Well," he said, "our worlds are different. While you kids have been breathing clean air, your teacher and I have been breathing blood mists." He glanced down at the pad he was carrying. "Well, that's enough," he said. "You all aren't enough of a challenge to be more than a warm-up. So what will you do? Come quietly? Or will you stand your ground in a losing battle? I know that first group had all the members suited for battle."

"...Bring it," Terasaka snarled. "Itona, Nick and I will kick your crazy ass!"

Itona stared at the Reaper. Then, without inflection, he said, "I surrender."

"Huh?"

"If we fight, we're toast," Itona said, raising his hands in the air. "This guy's on a whole other level."

Terasaka snarled, "You're kidding me."

Itona replied, "It's like you said. If we lose today, so what? All we gotta do is win once. Be patient."

Terasaka gritted his teeth, then looked at me. "Man, screw that. Nick! You and me, let's go!"

I shrugged. "I'll follow."

"That's what I'm talking about!" he shouted joyfully, running forward. I was hot on his heels as we passed the rest of the group and approached the Reaper.

"Terasaka."

"Wha-"

As he glanced my way, I lashed out and slammed my fist into his chin.

I'd aimed carefully and the boy's head snapped to the side as he tripped and fell. Without giving him a chance to recover, I ripped the stun gun from my pocket and jabbed it at his neck, shocking him into unconsciousness.

Straightening up and moving to the Reaper's side, I smiled peacefully at the rest of Team C. They were all staring at me with varying degrees of shock and horror. "Nick..." Okuda whispered.

"Sorry," I said easily, "but I'm on his side now. Shall we go?"

After they all surrendered, they were led to the new cage the Reaper had prepared. It was a slightly smaller room, with a few closed-circuit monitors on the wall showing various feeds from the outside of the building.

Inside the cage, every student was handcuffed with electronic handcuffs. The ones that had been knocked unconscious - or, in Team B's case, apparently injected with some sort of drug that was either a soporific or a paralytic - woke up soon enough. I looked over at them impassively, but I saw nothing but confusion and anger in varying degrees and blends. Yada's expression hit me particularly hard; I caught her looking at me with disappointment in her eyes.

"Unlike your cell earlier," the Reaper said, "escape is impossible here. That's enough practice," he said, smiling at them. "You can just be hostages now."

"...Haah," Kurahashi sighed as Irina clicked the handcuffs on the short girl. "I'm so sad... Betrayed by Professor Bitch..." Irina just let out a quiet noise.

"So now what?" Kayano murmured, standing over the spaced-out Nagisa.

Karma looked over at us; the Reaper, and the two Judases of E Class. "Listen, buddy," he said to the Reaper, "I don't know what your big plan is for killing Korosensei, but... I wouldn't count on it going smoothly."

"Mm?" the Reaper said with a smile.

"Well, you didn't manage to really hurt any of us because you didn't know about our super gym clothes," the redhead said casually with a small laugh. "Screwing up your calculations like that... If it was Korosensei instead of us, you'd already be dead from his counter attack."

"Oh, don't worry," the Reaper said, tapping at his pad. He wasn't shrouded in shadows anymore; once I'd turned traitor, the shadows had vanished. "I'm a gifted improvisor. That's my job. I can work with bad intel as well as good."

He had a point. If this were a real assassination, the others would have been dead the moment they lost consciousness. He beat everyone, he easily recruited Irina and myself, and he didn't rely on just one technique but was well-rounded. The Reaper was definitely a level above where E Class was standing; even a hundred students couldn't beat a boss like that.

"Nick..." Kanzaki asked, staring up at me. I searched for anger and hatred in her eyes, but all I saw was confusion. "Why? Why turn on all of us?"

I shrugged. "Simple," I said. "Mr. Reaper was impressed by the fact I managed to take one of his blows without collapsing, so he offered to take me under his wing. And I'm sure I've told you about it, Kanzaki, but I run a merc guild in Al... a game I play with my family. You've heard my rules, when the contract is being offered I go with the highest bidder." I spread my arms. "Ballpark calculations, but killing Korosensei with three people will _most likely_ earn me more money than if I do it with all of you. Also," I added, "prooobably have a better chance of killing the octopus this way."

"Nick..." Kanzaki stared at me, then trailed off. The confusion was gone from her eyes. I smiled faintly. It was better this way.

"Now," the Reaper said tapping at his pad, "next up is Mr. Karasuma. I'll lure him out and make him another hostage. If it's him... I'm sure he'll be a better warm-up than you guys. Well, I guess that'll be the end of the preparations for my plan."

They all looked shocked. Karasuma was definitely a super-human... but if anyone could capture him, it would be this guy.

"Hey, Itona," Terasaka said. "How come you surrendered so easily? Completely different from that crazy guy you were before."

Itona stared ahead blankly, though to be fair he did everything blankly. "...Back then, I was a lone assassin," he said.

Karma stared past us, surprise on his face before a mocking smirk spread over his lips. "Hey, Mr. Reaper," he said, "you should probably take a look at your monitors. Looks like you screwed something else up in your calculations."

I glanced over at the Reaper, before realizing that he seemed almost surprised. I glanced at the monitors and raised an eyebrow before letting out a quiet hmph. "Why is _he_ here...?" the Reaper murmured.

"Now, I'm a student in E Class." Itona said. "That octopus told us once, if there was a wall we couldn't get over... he'd take over from there. We're gonna be okay."

I stared at the feed from the hidden camera at the entrance of the building. Why? Why was Korosensei dressed up in a dog costume, with Karasuma holding the leash? "I've got their scent!" Korosensei said, sniffing the ground. The audio was slightly muffled thanks to the quality of the camera, but I could still hear it. "Haha! Didn't I tell you? With this clever canine disguise, I'm a natural!"

"There is absolutely nothing natural about what you're doing right now," Karasuma snapped.

"Nue-heh-heh-heh-heh," Korosensei laughed, getting to his feet.

Interesting. The final boss was here, ahead of schedule.

* * *

 **So. Before anyone says anything, it's important to remember: Nick considers them his** _ **classmates**_ **. Not once has he said they were his** _ **friends.**_ **Very important difference here.**

 **The anime adaptation of the God of Death / Reaper arc drops a lot of stuff, so I've been using the manga chapters as the source for a lot of the stuff. I can understand why they needed to drop it – stuff like the bug in the flowers, splitting up into three groups… - but since** _ **I**_ **am not constrained to a half-hour slot minus commercial break, I can add it back in. Cool, huh?**

 **Anyway, the first half of the chapter up to the disappearance of the Reaper is pretty much the same. While writing this chapter I noticed the symmetry to the Kyoto trip and threw it in there. Then I realized that they knew Nick had a girlfriend, so that little conversation sprung on me out of nowhere. Hah. The rest of the conversation was more or less the same, so nothing interesting. Nick's question to the others was something I asked out loud when watching this, by the way.**

 **Then, the Reaper appears. So, let's chat about Nick's response to the Reaper, shall we? It's important to remember that one, Nick doesn't trust people – not even the guy that sold him flowers three days ago – so when the guy walked in the door he was on guard immediately, despite the aura of invisibility he was giving off. Two, Nick is** _ **used**_ **to facing monsters that are far stronger than him; the smoky shadow is, in my opinion, a stylistic representation of the monster they're facing. Nick is used to fighting them, so to him the Reaper appears more solid. As he learns the Reaper's moves, pieces of the shadow break away, revealing that Nick knows his capabilities. (fun fact when nick turned traitor in front of team c, he saw the reaper as a regular person.)**

 **Things we missed because Nick's not omniscient: Irina also turned traitor and attacked Team B when they came to rescue her. She injected them with something that caused them all to collapse, and moved like a professional. When they collapsed, the Reaper appeared behind her and continued to convince her that she shouldn't work with the kids. The important lines were in Nick and Reaper's conversation in front of Team C, but whatever. Y'all should watch the show anyway.**

 **Many thanks to everyone that favorited, followed, or reviewed.**


	8. Reaper Time - 2nd Period

**Chapter 8: Reaper Time / 2nd Period**

* * *

I kinda just stared at the monitor. Somehow, it looked even weirder when Korosensei was standing upright. Kinda like a dog-octopus hybrid.

Karasuma racked the slide on his pistol, tossing the leash aside. "So he's holding the kids hostage?" he asked.

"Indeed." Korosensei produced a flower from somewhere, holding it in his... paws? Tentacles? Either way, I recognized from the second bouquet of flowers, the one that the Reaper brought with him to our class. "The scent of the students, and the scent of the flowers. I suspect," he said, pushing the dog hood back and replacing his usual teacher's cap, "his plan was to use them to lure me to my death. However, I returned early, without watching the soccer game, and I've come with you, Mr. Karasuma. I doubt our enemy is fully ready to ambush us. Let us enter, Mr. Karasuma.

"Korosensei and Mr. Karasuma!" Hara shouted.

"But I thought he was in Brazil for that big soccer game!" Nakamura exclaimed.

The Reaper stared at the feed from his tablet, and shrugged. "Aw... shucks," he said. "Well, that certainly throws a monkey wrench in my plan. So be it," he sighed, tapping at the tablet. From deeper in the warehouse, I heard the hum and squeal of machinery, and realized he'd triggered the elevator floor again. Probably to put it back into position. "Plan 16."

Wait, this dude has like, sixteen plans? That's kinda awesome. Well, I wonder, is he considering each contingency a separate plan, or is it sixteen different methods of luring him into the same end game position? This is important information that I need to know.

"Hm," Irina smirked. "My time to shine."

The two of them started walking for the elevator. I smiled slightly at the look of fear spreading across the E Class students' faces; they'd figured it out already, I guess. The problem was, Korosensei and Karasuma had no idea that Irina had switched sides. "Nick, go on up to the control room," the Reaper said to me. "You'll have to wait a bit for me to return, but I think it'd be better if your teachers didn't know you were on my side."

"Whatever you say," I shrugged, turning to follow them out. Pausing on the edge of the doorway, I glanced back at the trapped and cuffed students. The bands around their necks glinted in the light, and none of them bar Kanzaki would so much as look at me. I looked at Kanzaki, and she met my gaze steadily. Then, after a few seconds, she looked back at the monitors without a word.

Good.

While I was hurrying to the control room, the squeal of machinery and gears rose again and I picked up my pace. That would be the elevator lowering back down... I slipped into the control room marked on the map the Reaper had given me and glanced around. It was small and cozy, with a few monitors and a small control panel.

Well, I can't waste too much time, or I'll miss all the fun. The monitors showed a pretty comprehensive view of the underground bunker, from hallways, to the cage itself and students trapped inside, to some huge open area that had a catwalk ringing a massive pit. I had no idea what it was for. They were the same feeds from the monitors down in the cage room, actually.

After a few seconds, I found the one that had Korosensei and Karasuma on screen. As I watched, the dark room suddenly got brighter with light, and a few seconds later the reason for that became clear; the elevator stopped, putting Korosensei and Karasuma face to face with Irina and the Reaper. The Reaper had a gun to Irina's head, and she was wearing a necklace matching the ones around the necks of my classmates. Her arms were cuffed behind her back.

"Irina!" Karasuma snapped.

Irina took a few steps forward, prodded by the Reaper's gun. "Don't worry, my dear," Korosensei urged her. "Stay calm..."

"I'm guessing this is your show," Karasuma said to the Reaper, sounding impressively calm. I was just more impressed that the audio quality was so high.

The Reaper smiled. From watching how he acted, I felt a little disoriented. I wasn't in the room with them, but the bloodlust he was emanating was affecting me even through just the cameras. It felt obscure, and I had no idea what he was planning. I might have been able to read his movements a little bit when he was playing with us, and when I'd originally switched sides, but that didn't mean I had any idea what he was doing or what he was truly capable of.

"You've heard of the Reaper, yes?" the Reaper asked. His voice was just as pleasant as ever, but there was a small undercurrent of irritation hiding in a slight growl. "That would be me."

Korosensei shifted. "Lovro's mentioned you before," Karasuma said. Through the gloom of the room, I could barely make out the figure of my teacher holding his gun trained on the Reaper.

"Precisely why I left the old fool alive," the Reaper said. "See, when clearing the playing field of competitors, it helps if my reputation precedes me. Now," he said, "be a sport and lower that gun, would you?" He tilted his head. "Or should I ventilate your friend?" he asked with a slight chuckle.

Karasuma didn't hesitate to lower his pistol.

The Reaper laughed shortly at Karasuma's obedience. With a thump, he slammed the gun in his right hand against Irina's back, sending the woman stumbling forward with a cry. "Her neck's been fitted with explosives," he said as Irina collapsed to the ground. "Same goes for the children. I give the signal, they detonate!"

"You suppose if my students are threatened, I'll agree to die quietly," Korosensei said. His voice had a bite to it, like he was just barely restraining his anger for the sake of Irina. "Is that it?"

"Well," the Reaper said, smiling innocently. "I am curious."

Karasuma knelt down to check on Irina while Korosensei stared at the Reaper. I knew Korosensei would be skilled enough to know that there weren't any other enemies nearby. He'd have all his focus on the Reaper.

Korosensei's left feet tentacles exploded into goop. "Gah!?" he exclaimed, tilting as he lost his balance.

The floor split under him, dropping the octopus in a pit.

I saw Irina smirking off to the side, smoke wafting from the gun barrel that had been hidden in her fake handcuffs. In her other hand was the remote she'd used to trigger the trap and drop Korosensei. "Iri... Why?" Korosensei gasped, looking at her.

Then he disappeared in the pit. I couldn't see much after that, but I could hear the octopus's screams as he fell. Two shots echoed out, and I realized the Reaper was standing at the edge of the pit, gun trained on where Korosensei had disappeared. Korosensei's screaming only doubled in panic as the guns in the Reaper's hands chattered, unloading down the pit.

The Reaper had explained something to me when I asked him how in the hells he intended to trap Korosensei in the cage with the rest of the students. When he'd told me it was a pit trap, I'd raised an eyebrow and pointed out that the octopus could, in fact, fly - or, at least, make a convincing show of it by catching the edge of the pit for a second and then flinging himself upwards.

"Oh, that's easy," the Reaper had said. "Even if he's a monster, that doesn't mean he can move at Mach 20 from the get-go. I did some image analysis, and he can only go at about 600 kilometers an hour for the first meter."

" _Only_ ," I had snorted, subtly rolling my eyes.

"And something moving at that speed," the Reaper had continued, "is something I can see with my kinetic vision. Like the time I shot someone from a passing bullet train. Man, that was a rush."

He was shooting down the tentacles moving at 600 or 700 kilometers an hour with live rounds at Mach 2; they had to be real bullets, because the Anti-Korosensei pellets didn't move fast enough. It wouldn't sever any tentacles, but it would keep him falling. Honestly, the entire idea of dropping Korosensei down a pit seemed to be impossible and against all common sense, but... if you have the skills, then I guess common sense doesn't really apply to you anymore, does it?

With a loud thud and grunt, Korosensei slammed into the floor of the cage with E Class.

"Sir!" "Korosensei!" they all started shouting.

From up above, the Reaper lifted his guns. "That was disappointingly quick," he said. "I didn't even get to liquidate a hostage. Oh well," he sighed as the squeal of machinery echoed again. I think that would be the grill above the cage sliding shut and locking Korosensei in with the rest of E Class. "Let's go say our goodbyes."

"Miss Irina," Korosensei growled.

"Korosensei?" Kayano murmured.

"Eh... Hello, class," Korosensei said, standing up and getting to his feet, swiveling to look at everyone. "...Hang on a second, where's Nick?"

I shook my head and pressed the intercom button, opening the connection to the loudspeakers in the cage. I'd reveal my presence to Karasuma, but that was okay. "Hi, Korosensei," I said easily. "I hope you don't mind, but I figured I'd rather not be on the losing side in the war to assassinate you. So, you won't need to worry about me."

"You betrayed us," Yada accused me.

I chuckled. "Oh, how your harsh words sting my heart," I mocked her. "Let's face it, I'm out here and you're all in there. I think I chose correctly."

The class shifted awkwardly as I closed the connection, sitting back in the chair and letting out a huge sigh. I played it off, but Yada's words _did_ sting a bit. I didn't really know why.

"Well, I trust you're all unhurt?" Korosensei asked everyone in E Class.

"No offense, sir," Maehara said, "I can't believe he caught you."

Korosensei slithered over to the edge of the cage and pressed a finger to the bars. As expected, his finger hissed and then melted into yellow goop. "Huh," Korosensei said. "The bars are forged of Anti-Me material, I see. Tricky stuff to work around, to be sure, but you'll be thrilled to know my body has at last overcome it."

"Wait, are you serious?" Kurahashi exclaimed.

"Nure-hah-hah-hah-hah!" Korosensei cackled as he crossed his arms across his chest, a red glow emanating from his form. "Behold, boys and girls, my top secret weapon:

"THE TONGUE!"

I blinked, staring at the screen. Did... Did I hear that right?

Yeah, no, he's kneeling by the bar and licking it. Yep. I heard him say tongue, alright. That certainly is a thing that is happening right now.

What the fuck even is my life anymore.

"Coated by protective digethtive juitheth," Korosensei said, his voice lisping from the tongue sticking out of his mouth, "I'll have thethe barth worn down to nothing in two dayth!"

"We don't have that kind of time!" the class shouted at him.

Heh. Korosensei's kinda dumb when it comes to things like this.

"'Scuse me," the Reaper said. He'd just entered the room, Irina strutting along behind him. Karasuma stepped in after him, but stared at the captive students in shock. "Not to interrupt," he said, his smile less charming, "but if you want their neck braces to explode, by all means keep licking."

"What?" Korosensei exclaimed. "Theriouthly?"

"Okay," the Reaper said as he stepped towards the cage, "let's get on with it. This room? It's about to be flooded." The class gasped. "The tunnel behind you? It's a drainage canal. I secretly connected it to my hideout. When I give the signal from the control room aboveground, water will come _gushing_ in at 200 psi per second." Huh, so that's what the giant hole is. ...Come to think of it, if he's going to be triggering the trap from _there_ , he won't be _here_... That means, his cameras have to be connected wirelessly. That explains how he was seeing the view on his tablet earlier. "And these bars will essentially become a giant noodle press!" He just seems so giddy about his work. Well, I suppose it's good to enjoy what you do.

"Hold on!" Karasuma snapped. "You're not going to do that with the kids still in there!"

"Of course I am!" the Reaper laughed, smiling happily. "It's too late to wait."

Karasuma whirled on Irina. "Irina! You knew this would happen! Didn't you?"

Irina looked away. "I'm sorry," she said, not sounding sorry in the slightest. "Results were the only priority here. _You_ wanted professionalism."

The Reaper looked at Korosensei, and then nodded. "Well then," he said, "it's about time for me to get a move on. After all, I don't know what other surprises you might have. Irina, let's head over to the canal control room and let the water flow in."

As the Reaper passed Karasuma, my teacher reached out and grabbed hold of the Reaper's shoulder. "Huh?" the Reaper said, smiling. "Is the Japanese government going to stop me? I realize my method seems a bit harsh," the he said. "Would you prefer it if I let the best chance of saving the world slip through our fingers? And," he said, smirking slightly, "to begin with, I was planning on making _you_ a hostage too. You can't beat me with your skills."

The Reaper smiled as Karasuma exhaled slowly, closing his eyes. "And besides," he added, "it's not like _all_ the kids are gonna die. You'll still have one left! Speaking of, Nick, you should probably head over to the control room too! It should be marked on the map I gave you earlier."

Sure enough, it was. I wasn't even mad about the fact he revealed my presence to Karasuma. My teacher wasn't stupid, he'd probably done a head count and realized I wasn't there.

Karasuma didn't move as the Reaper started walking towards the door.

"Here's the government's official stance," he suddenly said as the Reaper passed him.

The Reaper turned to look at him-

-Karasuma's fist _slammed_ into the Reaper's cheek, knocking the Reaper into a spin as he tried to keep his balance. The force of the blow sent the assassin sliding backwards.

"Saving the world," Karasuma said, lowering his fist, "isn't worth losing the lives of twenty-seven children." He tugged at his tie, loosening it. Time for war. "If these kids are no more than so much collateral damage... I'm going to shut you down."

"You tell him, Mr. K!" the class shouted. I swear I could see Kurahashi's eyes turn into hearts, but that was silly, the resolution on these cameras wasn't great. Besides, it was a fisheye lens, so things were distorted.

"He's so cool..." Korosensei cooed.

As Karasuma shrugged off his jacket, revealing the pistols strapped to his body - holy shit - he said, "FYI, Irina. A true professional gives a damn about the bigger picture," he said, tossing his jacket to the floor.

The Reaper straightened up, giggling softly. "Very well," he said softly. His voice was definitely _not_ amused any more. Or maybe it was; it sounded almost like the way I sounded when I got serious in Alfheim.

The Reaper was finally getting serious.

With a lunge he shot out of the room. It made sense; Karasuma was incredible. Taking the time to kill the strongest human alive would definitely make the intricate gears of the Reaper's plan fall apart. If I were in his shoes, I'd also prioritize the assassination of the target.

"Like hell!" Karasuma snapped, racing off after him.

"Mr. Karasuma!" Korosensei shouted as our teacher disappeared out the door. "Turn on your transceiver!"

Well then. I should probably get over to the water control room too, now that it's suddenly turned into a race against time. I didn't want to get caught by Karasuma halfway there, at least. That would suck.

As I ran through the hallways, the earpiece the Reaper had given me chirped twice. I tapped it to open the channel. "Irina?" the Reaper said. Oh, it wasn't for me. "I need you. I'm setting up booby traps," he continued. "While Karasuma's trying to disarm them, shoot him in the back? Thanks. Remember, people of this country aren't prepared to kill. You and me, we've lived side-by-side with death. He won't be able to dodge your bullet."

"Understood," Irina's voice crackled through the receiver.

I just lowered my head and kept running; I needed to make it to the control room first. Of course, the Reaper was faster than me, but he was also busy setting booby traps for Karasuma. Plus, I'd started out closer to the room, so as long as I kept running, I should be fine.

When I reached the large pit, I slowed down. It was a straight shot from here, and I didn't see any sign of traps. Of course, a hitman as skilled as the Reaper wouldn't leave signs of his booby traps, but I was pretty sure I'd made it out ahead. Pulling out my phone, I swiftly gained access to the wireless broadcast of the Reaper's security cameras and started flipping through the feeds while making my way through the halls. I'm just glad my options let me do that, really, or I'd be operating blind.

Aaand... Yep! There's the Reaper, still in his hideout. I'm ahead of him, great.

Oh! As I was flipping through the rest of the channels I paused and backed up a few cameras. Sure enough, that was Karasuma, running down the hall. He reached out towards the door and grabbed the handle, then paused. Why did he stop? None of the doors were locked, I don't think. Was there something wrong? I couldn't see anything wrong with the door, but maybe... Maybe it was a trap on the other side?

Well, if it _was_ a trap, then that would probably give the Reaper enough time to reach the control room. The control room that I, coincidentally, just reached.

I switched feeds to the camera in the next hall, and sure enough, there was something stuck to the wall right next to the door. Definitely some sort of explosive, rigged to go off when Karasuma opened the door.

As I walked in, Karasuma said, "I'll open it. And take a chance."

I glanced back down at my phone as Karasuma tugged the door open. Wait, wha-

An explosion rocked the hallway, blanking out the camera. It was so big that I could hear the rumble from the other building entirely. "Damn," I murmured, staring at the screen. As the smoke started to clear, I saw that the entire door had been blown off its hinges. It was resting against the corner, banged up and crumpled.

That was when Karasuma kicked the door over, emerging from the shelter behind it.

What.

"Huh," Karasuma said. "Little more umph to that than I expected."

Then he took off running down the open hallway.

"What," I said.

Had... Had he used the door as a shield? But it's an explosion! The shockwave wouldn't have saved him. Unless he dodged backwards the instant the explosion went off, using ukemi to dodge most of the blast.

That's insane. How do you act on a decision that fast when it could cost your life?

Karasuma continued running down the hallway. Just as he burst around a corner-

-machine gun fire forced him to flip backwards as the entire hallway became filled with bullets.

The camera was fine, though, and I was able to find the feed after a few seconds. "...Dogs?" I asked after a second. I stared at the screen, and yes, those were dogs. I think Dobermans. They all had guns strapped to their backs, and somehow the Reaper had trained them to fire guns.

How? _Why_? Why would that be a skill the Reaper knows?

"Kuh..." Karasuma grunted, pressing himself against the blind corner. "That's not fair..." He glanced around the corner - and then smiled at the dogs.

 _Oh holy shit that's terrifying._

"You know," he said, "I love dogs." The Dobermans freaked out as the pressure from my teacher surged forward, and all of them cleared the path in a hurry. "So I can't hurt you guys," Karasuma continued. "I apologize to your owner, but I'll have you let me through."

The dogs whimpered, and can you really blame them? That guy's smile is terrifying. Seriously, the only other times I'd seen him smile was when he was attacking someone. Karasuma was the kind of person that seemed strongly reasonable, but seeing him like this, I could see the violent wildness lurking inside.

He was definitely in charge of E Class and Korosensei's assassination for a reason.

I watched Karasuma tear through the traps the Reaper had set up with ease. "And yea, though he walks through the valley of the shadow of death," I murmured in admiration as he blocked a steel girder barehandedly, and then caught the follow-up crossbow bolt an inch from his eye, "he will fear no evil." Karasuma ripped apart a weighted chain like it was paper; a few steps later, he caught a launched knife with his teeth. "For he is the _scariest_ motherfucker in the godsdamn valley." That man is truly terrifying...

And so was the Reaper, to set up all these traps in such a short time. This was a battle between mankind's strongest, I guess.

"Well," I sighed, "might as well get to work." I spared a few seconds to look around. It seemed similar to the ones I'd seen on TV, with huge rows of monitors and a complicated-looking control panel that I'd probably break if I tried to use it without training.

I stepped over the dead guards slumped on the ground and picked my way around the pools of blood to take a seat on the chair in front of the bank of monitors. I couldn't see what was down there, but I'd passed it on my way to the control room, and it had smelled like a sewer. Moldy and damp.

Yeah, okay, I can work with this.

See, it's kinda funny. I'm really good at lying to myself. And the first step to fooling others _is_ fooling yourself, after all.

Who would have thought I'd be so good as to fool the Reaper?

"Ritsu?" I asked. "Ready to rock and roll?"

Ritsu appeared in the corner of my screen, neat and tidy like always. She peeled the little hacked mark away like it was just a sticker. "Yep!"

Please. Like I'd be caught off-guard by something so simple as a virus attached to an email.

...

"Now, would you terribly mind doing me a quick favor?" I asked Ritsu.

"Sure!"

I nodded. "Just... give me a second," I muttered, kneeling behind her and popping open the access panel.

"Nick?"

"Hold on..." I traced a few cables, and then tugged them out. The tug, strangely enough, coincided with a loud, sudden squeak from Ritsu. After replacing the panel, I straightened up to see Ritsu blushing, smoothing down her rumpled skirt. "Sorry about that," I said.

Ritsu glanced at me shyly, then muttered something. I think I heard the word 'responsibility' in there somewhere, but I wasn't sure. "It's fine," she said louder. "But... why did you need to cut off my connection to the internet?"

"Because I need you to run a virus scan," I sighed, "and I couldn't be certain that your commands weren't being transmitted."

Ritsu wasn't dumb, she figured out exactly why I wanted her to run that scan almost immediately. "You're right, Nick!" she exclaimed. "There was a virus in that email the Reaper sent me! It placed a backdoor in my system."

I nodded, ignoring the way she was dressed like an exterminator and running around spraying literal bugs. "That's what I figured," I said. "Good. I was hoping he'd do that."

"...Huh?"

I smirked. "The best way to handle a spy is to feed him false information. So, here's what we're going to do..."

...

Ritsu set up a sandbox for the virus to play around in. When the Reaper tried hacking her earlier, he got shunted into the dummy Ritsu box instead; it looked to him like he was changing everything, but in reality Ritsu was perfectly fine. Still, I had asked her to pretend like she'd been hacked, just so that we could have an assassin working from the shadows the whole time. My gambit had worked out, too, or at least hadn't been pointless.

And then the Reaper completely destroyed our entire class and I had to improvise. I hate improvising.

"Patch me into the class's comm network," I asked her. "And then we need to get into this system and shut it right the fuck down," I said. "But let's hold off on part two, since I need to not get murdered by the Reaper."

Ritsu concentrated for a second, and then smiled. "Okay, you're through, Nick," she said.

I nodded, grinning my thanks. Korosensei was talking at the moment, so I waited patiently for him to finish. "Yes, they are strong," he said, probably referring to Karasuma and the Reaper. "And combining Anti-Me material and metal, this cell is very strong. It won't be blown up or dissolved. So, then, what will you do? Right here and now, will you become stronger than them and this cage? Or will you back down, giving up for good?

"Both are incorrect," Korosensei said. "If you are weak, then there's a way for you to fight. Put those assassination techniques you learned to good use, boys and girls."

The class started muttering to themselves quietly. Well, this was as good a point as any. I cleared my throat. "Uh, hello, E Class and octopus, can you guys hear me?"

"What is it, my boy?" Korosensei asked. His voice was nowhere near the gentle tone he normally used. "Here to beg forgiveness? Or perhaps gloat over your coup."

Oops. Hope they don't take it too hard. "Not really," I shrugged. "But if you're gonna be planning your escape, I'd start now. The Reaper is a bit busy at the moment thanks to Karasuma being completely ridiculous. I'm working on getting you guys out safely, but I don't know if I can do that in the time Karasuma will buy."

There was a few people murmuring, until finally someone else said, "Nick?" It was Kanzaki.

"Yeah?"

"I knew you didn't betray us."

I just smiled faintly. "Well, I did give you a pretty big hint. Anyway, can't stay long, looks like the Reaper's going after Karasuma directly, just wanted to give you the heads-up."

When flipping through the screens, I deliberately didn't look at the one that showed E Class. I didn't want that eating at me right away.

I eventually found the camera I was looking for; the one looking out at the huge drainage pipe. Karasuma ran out onto the catwalk - and then immediately ducked behind a nearby pillar, taking cover and drawing a pistol. "You have an excellent nose for this sort of work," the Reaper called out. He'd been waiting for Karasuma at the other side, across the gap. "Clearly, I underestimated you."

"This place is like a trade fair for booby-traps," Karasuma shouted. "I'm impressed."

"The more skills you pick up, the more you wanna use," the Reaper said genially. "It's second nature for an assassin to revel in his bag of tricks."

Karasuma shifted - and then dodged at the very last second as a bullet smashed into the concrete from behind him. He turned around.

"Mind your aim, Irina!" the Reaper called out.

"Oh, don't worry," Irina said, stepping towards Karasuma with her little pistol trained on him. "My next shot'll definitely land."

Karasuma aimed at her. "You're going to die," he said. "You know it."

"Believe me, I'm _more_ than prepared," Irina said. "I don't expect you to understand that. But some people can relate. The Reaper and I are cut from the same cloth."

"She's right!" the Reaper said with a smile. "Do you know what I was before I was called to this world? A scared kid, living moment to moment in a warzone where every second of every breath promised to be my last. A place that taught me you can only rely on one truth: death."

Sounds a little like how Shino describes GGO.

"Irina and I know what it is to be nurtured on blood and darkness. That boy of yours, he's not quite there, but I can see he's known it too." Me? What is he -

The Reaper pressed a button on his tablet.

A loud explosion rang out and I jumped, startled. Falling rubble and smoke filled the screen and suddenly the feed went dead. "Damn," I snarled. "Some sort of explosion? A bomb in the ceiling?" I was just guessing. I didn't really have any way of knowing for certain until I could find a camera feed that _wasn't_ destroyed.

Unfortunately, there weren't any that had line of sight to the drainage ditch. I was officially going in blind.

Of course, I'd been pretty sure the Reaper was going to betray Irina. It didn't surprise me that he'd used her as a decoy. Hells, I didn't expect him to use _me_ as anything other than mobile bait, a student that he could put a gun to the head at any given second if he needed another hostage. Those sweet words of his back in the hallway didn't fool me for a second. And what did he even mean by I knew being nurtured on blood and darkness?

 _Chhk._ The radio crackling kinda surprised me. "Mr. Karasuma!" Korosensei shouted. Oh hey, I'm still patched into their line. "Come in, Karasuma! Are you okay!"

"...What's wrong?" Karasuma asked.

"Oh, thank goodness," Korosensei said, "I finally got through. We heard an explosion, are you hurt?"

"I'm alright," Karasuma said, "but... I'm afraid Irina's trapped under the rubble."

The class gasped.

"I don't have time to dig her out." Ooh, cold, Karasuma. Ice cold. Besides, the Reaper's probably almost here. "The Reaper's getting away-"

"Wait!" Kurahashi cried desperately. "You have to do something, you can't just leave her!"

"Kurahashi..." Karasuma said. "Look, the woman took her chances when she partnered with that psychopath. Being a pro means assuming a level of risk. That's part of the job."

"What does that have to do with being pro?!" Kurahashi exclaimed. "I know I'm only a kid, but still... Poor Professor Bitch! She's still only twenty!"

Huh. Irina and I are the same age. How about that. Or, well, she's probably a little bit older, given I only turned twenty a month or so ago, but the thought is there. We're close in age.

"And... childhood was a total nightmare for her," Kurahashi continued. "If life's a puzzle, then... Miss Irina didn't get all the pieces. Who can say what she'd be now if she had, y'know? Please sir, don't leave her behind. I'm begging you."

Yada said, "You forgive us when we screw up, right? What's the difference with her?"

Karasuma growled. "It's a loss of time, and you guys will die."

"It's alright!" Isogai said. "The Reaper's gonna come back without flooding the room. So, stay _right_ there, Mr. K."

I sighed. "And," I added, ignoring the shocked gasps as I intruded on the channel they thought was secure, "I'm going to be doing some tinkering to make _damn_ sure the Reaper isn't gonna trigger the trap. There's about a zero chance in hell he's going to succeed, so... you have the time, sir."

* * *

The helicopter ride had taken a long time; add that to the travel time from America, and Koujiro Rinko and her two assistants had been in the air for quite a long time. It had only been four days since Koujiro received a pair of emails from unexpected sources. The first had been from one of the few people that Kayaba had taken an interest to - the contents of the email had been shocking, to the say the least. But more importantly, it had predicted the next email Koujiro received. She could have ignored the emails, deleted them immediately and forgotten about it, but she hadn't done so for whatever reason. She sent a reply back and made flight plans.

"I SEE IT!" the person next to her shouted. The girl with long, combed blonde hair and sunglasses stared out the window at the small black body on the immense ocean surface below, before slowly asking, "That's... the Ocean Turtle...?"

"There's still ten minutes until arrival, ladies," the co-pilot answered her. "But that's it, alright."

Koujiro nodded and watched as the two assistants pressed against the window, staring at the ocean below. The blonde girl's hand clenched in a fist for a second before the redhead reached out and placed her hand on top of the blonde's.

The plans for the Ocean Turtle didn't do the real thing justice; the four-sided pyramid acting as the main body of the Turtle was gigantic, with black glowing panels covering like a shell. Every panel was as large as the helicopter Koujiro and the assistants were currently riding in. It was probably ridiculously expensive, too. It looked like it should be some weird oil rig of some sort, but it wasn't. It was holding the next generation Full Dive machine instead. There was no way Koujiro believed that at first, but she had no choice but to believe the emails at this point.

The landing was very smooth. It was almost a surprise when the friendly neighborhood black-suited guide saluted the similarly-dressed man on the Ocean Turtle. The passengers disembarked one at a time, jumping down the small gap between the helicopter's hatch and the deck. The blonde girl arched her back in the dazzling sunlight, and the redhead followed suit, enjoying the sun's warmth. "Welcome to the Ocean Turtle, Professor Koujiro," the man in black said. Heh. That movie was actually pretty funny. "And these are...?"

"These are my assistants," Koujiro nodded, "Mayumi Reynolds and Hinata Chambers."

«Pleased to meet you,» the two assistants chorused in perfect English. The blonde, Mayumi, reached out for an awkward handshake, while the redheaded Hinata contented herself with just a polite smile and nod.

"I'm First Lieutenant Nakanishi, assigned to lead your party," the man introduced himself. "The attendants will deliver your luggage later on. Now, if you'd be so kind as to come this way..." He gestured towards the flight of stairs leading into the innards of the floating fortress. "Lieutenant Colonel Kikuoka is waiting."

The air immediately inside the bridge still had the heat of summer and the salty taste of the Pacific Ocean, but after a trip down an elevator and several long passages, the door to the Ocean Turtle itself was in front of the party of four. It slid open and a cold and dry air made itself known. "Does the ship require this much air-conditioning?" Koujiro asked the First Lieutenant.

The young official turned around, nodded, and said nonchalantly, "It does. There are many intricate machines, so there's a need to keep the temperature low and the humidity down."

"Is the power provided solely using solar power?"

"Not at all," he replied. "The solar panels don't contribute even ten percent of the energy use. The main machines use a pressurized water nuclear reactor for power."

That doesn't seem to make much sense. Perhaps the good First Lieutenant wasn't entirely aware of what he was talking about. Or maybe technology was more advanced than previously expected down here. After all, they were working on Soul Translation technology. It's possible they developed some new power source to go along with it.

"...I see." Koujiro said.

The passage was long with clear grey panels. There had to be hundreds of researchers on the Ocean Turtle, though the vessel was big enough for all of them and then some. Probably wasn't cramped in the slightest. After turning left and right for a little while longer, a door suddenly appeared in front of them, a man wearing a deep blue uniform standing in front of it. He looked like a regular security officer, but the crisp salute he gave after seeing the First Lieutenant was definitely not a civilian's actions.

Curiouser and curiouser...

"Requesting permission for the researcher Professor Koujiro and her assistants Reynolds and Chambers to enter area S3," the First Lieutenant saluted.

"Confirming," the guard said before turning on a small metal terminal in his hand. He scanned over Koujiro's face and nodded, his stare piercing. Then he turned his attention to Reynolds and blinked, scratching at his neat beard. "Sorry, Miss, but could you please take off those sunglasses?"

«Of course.» Mayumi lifted her large sunglasses, showing her clear hazel eyes.

The security guard narrowed his eyes and glanced over her, before looking over Hinata as well. After a second, he nodded. "Confirmed."

"You have quite strict security considering you're in the middle of the ocean," Koujiro observed, her smile a little bitter.

"We've already cut down on the body check and other procedures," Nakanishi replied with a small smile. "We only checked for explosives and weapons three times." As he answered, he took a small disc out from his chest pocket and placed it on a sensor panel. After a brief second, the door slid open with the whir of a motor. That disc must be an ID card of some sort.

Passing through the doors led to another hall, this one echoing with the humming of machines. Footsteps echoed off of the metal floor, going clack-clack-clack. The guide stopped in front of another door labeled the Primary Control Room. This is it. This is the last barrier.

It slid aside slowly, and Koujiro and her assistants reluctantly stepped into the foreboding darkness. It was dark, but not entirely so; there were tiny orange lights flashing on the floor. They marked out a path between a large network of servers, and as the party emerged from the valley Koujiro and the assistants opened their eyes in shock as they gasped.

It was impossible not to gasp. A large window on the wall revealed an impossible scene. Streets... No, more than streets. An entire city was there. But it wasn't a city that could be found in Japan. The buildings were all built with white stone, two levels high with a strange domed roof. Giant tree branches and leaves were everywhere, restricting the size of the buildings. Tall but small.

Roads made of the same white stone as the buildings passed through the woods, and the people using the paths... No. They weren't modern. Their clothes weren't anything a person would be wearing in this day and age; no suits and ties, no shorts, no skirts or anything like that. It was all middle-aged clothing, like long coats and one-piece vests. It was hard to even tell the nationality, like several different races had all been blended together.

After a second, it became clear that the view wasn't actually a window when Koujiro stepped forward to look at a tall tower in the distance and lights on the ceiling slowly brightened. It was actually an image being shown on a large monitor panel. How incredible... A whole new world, populated by virtual people...

"Welcome to the Ocean Turtle."

Eep! That was unexpected. It came from the right. There were two men silhouetted there, right in front of the mega-screen, sitting at a console with keyboards, smaller monitors, and a bunch of other things. There was a coffee mug sitting next to one keyboard, which was quite amusing. One was sitting on his chair facing away from everyone, tapping at his keyboard in a relaxed manner, but the other... The other was standing and watching Koujiro with narrowed eyes and an easy to approach smile that was nevertheless hard to read.

Seijirou Kikuoka.

* * *

The Reaper walked into the room behind me. "Hello, Nick," he said happily. "How's it going?"

"Not bad," I said. "Still, things are a little boring, y'know? I haven't heard anything from the cage in a while, and I wasn't going to just flood the place without your say-so. Didn't want to screw your plan up by accident."

"Don't worry," he said, pulling out his tablet. "Hey, how about this? After I release the water, I can train you up. As a protégé of sorts. With fifteen billion yen each, we wouldn't _have_ to work, but it'd be nice to hone the skills I can see you have."

I grinned. "Sounds fun. But, uh... did I math wrong, or is fifteen billion the reward split only two ways instead of three?"

The Reaper just shook his head. "Irina won't be accepting her share. It was an unfortunate accident, but to slow Karasuma down I needed to collapse a ceiling. I'm pretty sure she got caught in the rubble."

"Okay," I shrugged.

Suddenly, his smile vanished as his eyes widened. "What in the... They all escaped?"

I peered over at the tablet in his hand, and sure enough the cages were completely empty.

There was a slightly nasty grin on the Reaper's face as he brought up a screen filled with numbers and tapped at the first three. My eyes widened as he hit a button marked Explode. Wait, was that the -

An explosion rang out on screen, making the camera screen flicker in static. I stared, and then relaxed. It looked like nothing had happened after all. Somehow, my classmates had managed to get the bomb neck braces off while they were pulling whatever stunt they'd managed to pull. I was grateful they hadn't told me what they were doing, since any shred of insincerity would probably get me killed.

"Oh, they're good," the Reaper growled. With another snarl, he turned around and rushed back out the door.

After all, there's no point in flooding a cage with no hostages or targets in it.

I waited a few more seconds to let the Reaper get further away from the control before opening up the comms channel between me and E Class again. "Whatever you guys did, it worked," I said. "The Reaper saw the images and is probably heading back to look for you now, which means he's gonna run into Karasuma. By the way, good job getting out of the cage, however you managed it."

"Heh," Okajima laughed. "Take a closer look at the bottom right corner of the feed from the camera inside the cage."

Frowning, I peered at the image. Then... "Wait," I said, blinking at the slight distortion in the wall. I could just barely make out the image of the students standing with their fronts pressed up against the wall, the students stacked three high. Their gym uniforms had been painted to blend in with the walls; combining that with the distortion from the fisheye lens, they were all but invisible. "That's... Wait, you're still there?!"

"Good thing the security camera has a blind spot, huh?" Okajima laughed. "He couldn't see us making the camouflage!"

That's... Hahaha, holy crap. These crazy idiots managed to pull it off, somehow. "Excellent job on the shading, Sugaya," Mimura said.

"Hey, no prob," the artistic boy said. "My paint worked great on this fabric. Do I have an eye for color matching or what?"

"Fantastic," Okano muttered. "The Arts and Creepers squad is never gonna let us here the end of this."

I tilted my head, even though the others couldn't see it. "So, what's the story behind the bomb collars? How come they went off, but you're all still in one piece?"

"Those collars were crap," Itona said flatly. "All his RC can do is detonate and unlock. If it'd been up to me, I'd have made it so that the bombs go off when the person tries to get out of them. Just bad design."

Faintly, I heard Terasaka mutter, "This really sucks." Oh, he must be one of the ones on the bottom of the totem pole.

"And..." I trailed off, hesitating. "I'm not sure if I want to know the answer to this, but... where's Korosensei?"

"He comes with his own built-in camouflage," Mimura said.

"Meaning he's essentially buck naked right now," Nakamura laughed gleefully.

"Now I'm ruined for marriage!" Korosensei moaned. I saw a tiny spot of pink on the feed, and realized the octopus was blending in and filling the gaps with his body.

"Stop blushing!" someone hissed. "He'll see!"

I grinned and leaned back in the swivel chair, spinning around absently. Wheee~... At least they were okay.

I planted my feet abruptly and stood up. "Alright," I said, raising my arms over my head and stretching before cracking my neck with a pop. "Ritsu, we're done here, right?"

"Yep," she said, giving me an okay sign. "Everything's locked down tight."

"Great. Well, I'm gonna go see what's going on with Karasuma and Professor Bitch," I said, pocketing my phone. "Thanks for all your hard work today, Ritsu."

It was pretty simple to find Karasuma and the Reaper. All I had to do was follow the trace of bloodlust down the hallways and through the pipes. Well, it was also easy to follow the noise, even if it echoed; there was a huge boom while I was halfway down the corridor, and I picked up my pace. Another explosion? This one was closer than the others.

When I burst into the huge chamber, there was a hole in the rubble leading to - "Professor Bitch," I called out, raising my hands and approaching her. She looked a little disheveled. "Are you okay? Where's Karasuma and the Reaper?"

She eyed me suspiciously, and I snorted. "I'm with E Class," I said, shifting my weight to prepare for a fight if she hadn't - Oh. I noticed the splint around her left arm and relaxed for real. Karasuma had helped her.

"I lured the Reaper here, and Karasuma suplexed him off the side into the water below," Professor Bitch said. "Help me up. There's a stairway down on the other side of here."

"I missed a suplex?" I complained as I offered her my hand. She was light and unsteady, but firmed up after a few seconds. "Mother fuck. That sounds amazing."

We ran down the stairway, though I made sure that Professor Bitch went behind me just in case she fell, and the sounds of splashing and combat grew louder as we descended. Was Karasuma in hand to hand combat with the Reaper? That seemed... Actually, damn, I want to see that.

We ran out onto the walkway overlooking the ground area and my eyes widened. Holy _shit_ Karasuma is ripped. Oh, and, uh, he's shirtless fighting the Reaper, that too. The splashing was because they were standing in dirty sewer water that was ankle-deep.

Both of them were incredibly talented, being able to fight while hindered like that. As Professor Bitch and I watched silently, afraid to say anything that might distract Karasuma, the Reaper flexed his wrists and two knives dropped into his waiting palms. He swung out, the sharp blades cutting through the air almost audibly, but Karasuma blocked the blows and jumped away.

The Reaper smiled - _oh holy shitting fucktits_ what is wrong with his face it looks like his skin is just fucking gone. "Hah...haha. I feel I should tell you, Mr. Karasuma," the Reaper said. His voice was a menacing growl, now that his true identity had been revealed. "I might have overstated the tragic circumstances of my childhood. As a matter of fact, I might have made the entire thing up. Actually, I just added some flare to an acquaintance's story and passed it off as my own."

"You bastard," Karasuma growled as the Reaper laughed. So, this weird skull-face guy _didn't_ actually grow up in a warzone? I'm confused, now.

"When I was just a boy," the Reaper said, "an assassin killed my father. I wasn't particularly torn up about it," he added lightly. "However. Seeing the way his killer moved, so swift! So sure! The way he just elegantly snatched the wine glass from my father's hand while his knife opened the artery! It did give me something to think about." He sounded almost enraptured by this assassin he saw. "I said to myself, 'What beautiful skill!'"

The Reaper dropped the knives in his hands, letting them sink in the water with a splash. With a flourish, he pulled out a rose and lifted it. "I was captivated," he said. "And in that moment, I _knew_. Assassination is high art."

He tossed the rose up in the air. Karasuma's eyes followed it.

"And the culmination of that art..."

The Reaper's hand formed into a simple hand gun, the pointer finger aimed at Karasuma.

"...Let me show you," the Reaper whispered.

His _finger_ fired with a soft bang.

Wait, what.

Karasuma grunted, looking down at his chest. The Reaper stood there, the tip of his finger smoking. "The Reaper's hidden scythe..." he whispered. "A simple ten caliber, nothing fancy. But its miniscule bullets pass easily through muscle and bone." Had he removed the entire tip of his finger and replaced it with a gun? That's... dedication, I suppose. "And pierce the aorta. Every heartbeat widens the hole, just a tiny little bit, until..."

Blood spurted from Karasuma's chest, and I flinched. No way. Not again. He died again. I'd tried so hard and someone _still_ died.

"Well," the Reaper said as Karasuma groaned and fell to his knees. "I'm sure you get the idea. A fine composite art, you'll agree. That's the province of the Reaper," he said, approaching Karasuma.

My chest felt tight - until Professor Bitch nudged my side. "Take a look at the water," she told me. My eyes felt like they were glued to Karasuma, but I managed to look away from the spurting red liquid and gazed at the water behind him.

"That's..." I breathed. "A tentacle?"

"What?" the Reaper murmured. "This is..."

Suddenly, with an explosive movement, Karasuma slammed his fist into the Reaper's nuts with a powerful uppercut.

"Eeeeeeeeeeeee..." I keened in sympathetic pain, reflexively covering my own groin with my hands.

Gasping and choking for air, the Reaper was bent double, making high-pitched noises. "Thought there'd be a good opening if I timed it just right," Karasuma said, taking Korosensei's tentacle off of his chest. "Nice to see the Reaper has the same weak spots as everybody else."

"H-His tentacle?" the Reaper whimpered out. "Seriously? You faked me out with _tomato_ juice?!"

"Sorry friend," Karasuma said. "You screwed up. Messing with my students, and my colleague's a bad idea." Beside me, Professor Bitch smiled happily, blushing a little bit.

"Wait!" the Reaper cried, still clutching his groin. "Who else could conceivably kill him, if not me?"

As Karasuma clenched a fist, he said, "You'd be surprised what a classroom full of motivated kids can accomplish."

With a wild smile, he slammed a fist into the Reaper's chin, knocking the assassin head over heels until he fell flat on his back in the water. Ouch. "I think it's about time for you to quit the killing business," my teacher said, straightening up. "But hey, with all those skills, they'll love you at the unemployment office."

After everyone was let out of the cage - though Karasuma had a crisis of conscience as he tried to figure out if he could free the students without letting Korosensei out - Karasuma dragged the unconscious Reaper out to the main hall and tied him up on the ground while we all stared at the assassin. "The man had skills, make no mistake," he said to us, crossing his arms. "But he put too much stock in them."

"The man who set him on this path," Korosensei said, "was a first-rate fool. His talents might have served him just as well on the straight-and-narrow."

"I suppose it all boils down to the world you know," Karasuma said. "How it shapes the value you put on life."

I noticed that Nagisa was staring at the Reaper with intense fascination, zoning out. Korosensei must have noticed it too, because the octopus placed a tentacle on the boy's head, startling the kid. "Yes," our teacher said, "well said."

That was about the time Terasaka turned to me. "So, Nick," he growled. "Why'd ya do it, huh?"

The rest of the class turned their eyes on me, and I felt my insides twist. I hate it when people pay attention to me like this. Make me feel like I made a mistake. "To make sure that I could trash his system," I said through a dry mouth. "Pretending to be on his side got me access to the systems he was going to use to flood the cage. I managed to lock the system down and prevent him from using it until he figured out the password to the encryption Ritsu applied, but... guess that was kinda useless in the end since you all escaped, huh..."

He wouldn't have cracked the password. After all, it relied on names outside of the Reaper's frame of reference; the names of my family. And I would have died before giving them up.

I looked away, trying not to shrink in on myself. "Sorry I didn't warn you," I said. "But I had to keep it a secret. One mistake and the Reaper would pick up on my plan."

"That's not good enough," Hayami snapped. "We would have backed your play. You're... a classmate," she said. Heh. The Hot-and-Cold Sniper returns.

Isogai nodded. "Yeah. You're one of us, Nick. You don't have to go behind our backs like that."

I shifted, feeling just a little bit better. "...Sorry," I murmured. "It's hard for me to trust people, after... Well, uh. I'll t-try to be better." The class murmured quietly, but nobody said anything. "Um... Terasaka," I said, taking a few deep breaths. "Since I had to knock you unconscious, you get one free punch. It'll even the score, and I won't -"

Terasaka slugged me.

"Gah!" I yelped, stumbling from the force and clutching at my throbbing cheek. "You punched me! You asshole! Why would you do that?"

He shook his fist. "'Cause you said I could," he said with a grin. "Man, I've wanted to do that for a while."

"That doesn't mean you're _supposed_ to!" I protested. "It's one of those things you say to be cool, but it wasn't an actual _offer_! You were supposed to decline and that'd be it!" I glowered at him, but the smile underneath the surface leaked through just a bit. I wasn't mad. I was just glad that E Class didn't seem to be holding a grudge.

Korosensei nodded and patted my head. "Well, all's well that ends well," he said. "It would have been a shame to lose you, Nick. Wouldn't you agree, Miss Irina?"

We looked over to see Professor Bitch trying to tiptoe away from us while we were distracted by the Reaper. "Ah," she said. Then, while we all stared at her, she giggled nervously and kept trying to tiptoe away.

"Wait!" "Where do you think you're going?!" the class shouted, charging her. Professor Bitch shrieked, trying to run, but she was barefoot and the students were all wearing boots. She wasn't going to win.

"Go on and do your worst!" she snarled when she was finally caught. "Think I'm not ready? You little punk bastards are one rung below animals anyway! The boys pent up, the girls _all_ insanely jealous, now's your chance to set all those emotions off like sexual fireworks! Grrr..."

She literally growled, exactly like a dog. The others all just stared at her outburst. "Do you ever listen to what you're saying?" Kimura muttered.

Meanwhile, I was wondering, would sexual fireworks explode in the shape of genitalia?

"Just shut up and come back to school tomorrow like always," Terasaka said bluntly. Professor Bitch was startled out of her rant and stared at him. "No more takin' off for days at a time!"

"And besides," Yada said with a wink, "you never finished that story. Conning Arabian royalty, remember? You had the region on the brink of war."

Kataoka smiled. "If you don't come back, you can kiss that French copy of the manga you lent me goodbye. Boys Over Flowers?"

"Okay, just to be clear," Professor Bitch said, "you _do_ realize I was going to kill you all."

Takebayashi pushed at his glasses. "I don't see the problem," he said. "A fair amount of treachery is to be expected. These things come with the territory, do they not?"

As Muramatsu and Yoshida hoisted her to her feet, Nakamura grinned and said, "I mean, come on. If we can't handle a foul-tempered, backstabbing bitch, we really wouldn't have a lot of room to say we're cut out to be assassins."

"They're right, you know."

Professor Bitch blinked as Karasuma approached her. Then, surprising _everybody_ present, he pulled out a red rose - the one the Reaper had tossed in the air right before he shot Karasuma. "For you," he said, handing the rose to Professor Bitch. "And before you ask, nobody put me up to this. Consider it taken from a vanquished enemy in your honor. Happy birthday. Sorry if I'm late."

Professor Bitch stared at the flower, visibly preparing to give Karasuma a lecture about how poorly he handed it to her – and then smiled. "It's lovely," she said.

Korosensei went nuts, scribbling down in a little gossip notebook. "We've got some potential, guys," Fuwa murmured.

Kurahashi was weeping tears of anguish, Yada patting her head in consolation. "No fair," she wailed. "I already called dibs on him..."

"Oh, sweetie," the ponytailed girl said.

Eheheh... This was so ridiculous and kinda sweet.

"Mr. Karasuma!" Korosensei said, raising a tentacle. Meanwhile, Professor Bitch was stumbling around in a romantic trance, staring at the rose. "A word, before the situation takes a turn for the racy."

"Trust me, it won't," he snapped. "What do you want?"

"Today," Korosensei said, reaching out to place a tentacle on each of our heads, "was almost tragic. "I don't want the children embroiled in something like this again. I must insist on an environment where they can kill safely, immune to the intrigues of madmen like the Reaper."

Karasuma nodded. "Right there with you."

When we finally returned to class, a proposal was drafted up. Everybody in E Class signed the petition for requesting a simple modification to the bounty; if any student was collateral damage in the assassination plot - that is, a student got involved as bait or was injured as a bystander, not one of the assassins in question - the bounty would be null and void. Greed was a good enough motivator, I hoped.

Everything seemed a little... changed, I guess. I'd expected people to be watching me with some sort of concern or dubiousness in their eyes, especially after I'd betrayed them all like that, but... for some reason, my classmates didn't seem to hold a grudge. I don't know why. Still, it was nice...

Glancing out the window early in the morning, before classes started and the rest of the students arrived, I smiled. I could see Karasuma and Professor Bitch walking up the path to the school building entrance.

Guess things worked out mostly okay in the end.

* * *

 **Nick makes bad decisions sometimes. Good thing the rest of the class is kinda used to him doing stupid shit by now.**

 **This was just the part two to Reaper Time, so not much to talk about; Nick didn't** _ **actually**_ **betray E Class, which anyone that's read the other stories should know. The hint was when he mentioned the mercenary guild – while yes, he does go with the highest bidder, he also takes things on a case by case basis. E Class just offered more valuable rewards. Also, he** _ **never**_ **betrays his client once he's been hired. E Class is his client now.**

 **And yes, his plan was to do computer fuckery with Ritsu's help. He had to improvise a bit when the Reaper knocked them all out, and then again when he found out the Reaper's actual plan, but it kinda worked. He managed to lock down the system with Ritsu, and then encrypted the data with a password that was essentially the full name of his family; that data won't exist anywhere, and since he's very tight-lipped about his past, it's unlikely the Reaper would be able to wring the answer out of him before Karasuma gets there.**

 **It was still** _ **stupid**_ **as all hells to do, but we've already seen that Nick's perfectly willing to sacrifice himself for no real gain. That part of him isn't fixed yet. But all's well that ends well, Nick got punched in the face, Irina got a rose, happy days for everyone.**

 **Things we missed, though: Karasuma delivering the ultimatum to his superiors, who said 'eh why not.' This is because the government is setting up some 'Final Assassination' project that's going to be executed in March, right at Korosensei's deadline. Better hope they don't get their timing screwed up by a snooping Nick~ (they won't, he won't be able to find anything. opsec, remember, and ritsu's not huge on breaking firewalls illegally like yui and din.)**

 **Also! We get another glimpse into what's happening in the real world. Remember, the time is sped up in Nick's world; what was about seven-ish months to him was about five days out there. Not much is going on other than that, though. It's just a little side-story going on right now, but the threads should link up eventually.**

 **Many thanks to everyone that favorited, followed, or reviewed.**


	9. Round Two Time

**Chapter 9: Round Two Time**

* * *

Just like that, we drifted past October and into November.

I stared at the sheet of paper on my desk dubiously. Curse you, paperwork, you vile fiend! And really, I managed to avoid this Future Planning Survey before by virtue of, well, being in Aincrad. The SAO Survivor School had been more focused on integrating us back into society, and as a result the typical school-related activities like filling out our career goals got pushed off to the side.

Honestly, I was mostly grappling with how to fill out my paperwork when I'd already gone through all of this, and had a job lined up. Yes, Korosensei, my school of choice _is_ being trapped in a video game, and my first-choice occupation _is_ working for the Ministry of Defense under a boss who's probably doing _something_ morally bankrupt and even if he isn't I'm pretty sure it's only a matter of time until he does.

Come to think of it, this entire middle-school scenario might be related to Kikuoka. Hm... If I find out I had to deal with this freaking octopus because of him, I might have to show him my displeasure.

The door sliding open snapped me out of my rather pleasant daydreams regarding Kikuoka and the point of my knife, and I refocused to see Professor Bitch standing there. "Is the octopus for real?" she asked, idly twirling a strand of hair around her finger. Most of it was pulled back into a ponytail, instead of hanging free like usual. "He's giving you kids career counseling now?"

Holy shit. Like, this was Professor Bitch, but... she wasn't dressed like a typical female video game character. I mean, her sweater actually covered up the parts that sweater are supposed to cover up, long sleeves and everything. Her skirt went down to her knees, even. "Is she feeling okay? Because it looks like a Pod Person got her," I asked Karma. He just shrugged.

"Wow, look at you," Yada said, standing up.

"In a normal outfit!" Kurahashi gasped.

Professor Bitch looked at the two of them. "Uh, yeah," she said. "Thought I'd go for cheap and plain. Just trying to fit in to your regular old world, that's all," she said with an uncertain smile. "Oh, come on," she said as the guys in the class stared at her with wide eyes. She hugged herself protectively, crossing her arms across her stomach. "Don't tell me all of a sudden you want to see more skin..."

"No," Okajima muttered, covering up his nosebleed. Even still, blood trickled down from his fingers. "Leaving more to the imagination is somehow _even sexier_."

"You've really grown as a person!" Mimura gasped. I'm pretty sure they had crossed their legs discretely.

Of course, while it was fun watching Professor Bitch be all self-conscious about her new style, one of my more favorite targets was about to realize he'd been played. I'd watched Nakamura swipe Nagisa's career sheet off his desk while he'd been distracted by Professor Bitch, and I was just waiting for the fireworks to start. When Nakamura glanced over her shoulder at me and I grinned, she grinned back. I nodded. Yeah, I saw that. Not gonna say anything, of course.

She turned back just in time to smirk at Nagisa when the boy picked up his sheet, his little wing pigtails going stiff with shock. "Nakamura!" he complained, his hand trembling. Curious, I went over to see what she'd written in. "Did you write this?! That's my future you're messing with!"

Let's see... School of choice, an all-girls' high school... Desired Career One, Nurse, Desired Career Two, Maid... "Yeah, no, this all checks out," I said casually.

"Sorry, sweetheart," Nakamura said easily, "but men's work just doesn't suit you."

"Hey, Nagisa!" Karma said brightly, walking up to the three of us. "Which would you prefer? Thailand or Morocco after graduation?" He held up two posters; the one for Thailand had 'Be Reborn!' on it, while Morocco's read 'A Life-Altering Voyage'. "I'm kinda partial to Thailand, myself.

Why those two countries in particul... Oh, I get it, it's because they offer gender-reassignment surgery. Heh, it's a dick joke, I get it.

Nagisa just sighed. I placed a hand on his shoulder, and he looked up at me. "It's okay," I said. "We won't judge you for your life, honest. Gender norms are a thing of the past, so it's okay if you take a career that's traditionally masculine."

"Not you too!" he complained, batting my hand away. I just snickered.

Behind me, I heard Sugino lean back and say, "Careers? Seriously? Why are we talking about this stuff when the Earth's on the verge of being destroyed?"

Nagisa silently stared at his hand, closing it into a loose grip.

Weird.

One by one, the students all went in to have their career consultations. Most of their decisions were pretty obvious, all things considered, judging by the people that I talked to. Isogai wanted to go into a public school, since his family's finances weren't the best. Sugino was all about baseball, as expected; Okano liked moving her body too, but she wasn't really sure how to turn that into a career.

Each one of them came back from the consultation meeting smiling happily. Seems like Korosensei helped all of them out in a different way. On her way to the meeting, before she left the classroom, she said, "I'll tell him I want to take the path of research after all. And while I have the chance, hopefully I can trick him into drinking this poisoned soda!"

"You added the Korosensei powder to the inside rim, right?" I asked her, and she nodded.

"Like you suggested, Nick. I really hope this works! Oh!" she said, turning to Kayano. "Have you decided what you want to do for the future, Kayano?"

The green-haired girl scratched her cheek and giggled. "...Uh-mm, I'm undecided," she said. "I think there might be a lot of people who haven't decided yet. Maybe... Once we do what we have to do in this classroom, some of us will see our answer for the first time."

I swung by my seat and glanced over Karma's sheet curious. "A bureaucrat?" I asked him, raising an eyebrow. "Really? Something so... restricted?" I mean, there's nothing wrong with working behind the scenes to get shit done, but it requires a gentle touch that I'm pretty sure Karma doesn't exactly have. Blackmail and physical violence can only get you so far.

"Well, remember the last big earthquake, how everything was in a state of emergency?"

"Yeah, sure." I don't, of course, but that was probably because my timeline was ahead of theirs by eight years or so. Things that happened in recent memory for them would have occurred when I was too young to really remember.

"Well, those politicians were useless, but the bureaucrats were doing all the work from the shadows. It was really amazing."

I hummed. "I see."

Karma grinned up at me. "How about you, Nick? Got anything interesting you?"

I just shook my head. "I've got some stuff lined up already," I said. "So this graduation meeting won't really matter to me all that much, it's all about going through the motions."

A few moments later, Chiba walked back through the door, and Karma sighed and tucked his hands in his pockets. "Guess I'm next," he said. "What a pain. Let's get this over with."

After a few minutes, Terasaka got up out of his seat and left for _his_ meeting. After Karma was Terasaka, and then after him was, well, me. Once Karma returned to the classroom I grabbed my empty graduation sheet and stretched, rolling my head to crack my neck. Ugh... Haven't been sleeping well, and the muscles in the base of my neck were killing me. Rubbing them to try to get some of the soreness out, I walked down the hallway to the Staff Room and took a seat in the provided swivel chair, _immediately_ starting to spin while I waited for Terasaka to finish up.

It's the little things in life.

The loudmouth was done faster than I expected. He closed the door behind him a bit sharply and walked away without looking at me, muttering under his breath about 'goddamn idiot, talking about controlling people behind the scenes and turning _me_ into a puppet'. Oh, I see. He must have brushed by Karma earlier then.

Well, time to face the music.

"Nick, I'm surprised," Korosensei said to me as I reclined in the chair. "Despite your gifts, you don't seem to have any goal in mind."

I just shrugged. "Look, I don't... Okay, so, the thing is, I've got things lined up already," I told him. "High school is taken care of, college too after that, and then when I graduate I'll have a job waiting for me. It's all arranged, thanks to... someone I know."

Korosensei studied me for a few seconds, then said, "We all have our secrets, Nick, so I won't pry -"

"Thank you, sir."

"- but answer me this, my boy. What is it you _want_ to do?"

I opened my mouth, then hesitated. I wanted to be a programmer, right? That's why I accepted the job from Kikuoka, so that I could go into my desired career path. It's what I've been good at my whole life - I had a talent for logical organization of ideas, of the twists and turns needed to wrangle a computer under my thumb. It helped that my parents, before they got divorced and before I drifted away from them thanks to Aincrad, had been doing similar work; I'd been able to watch my mother working on her laptop from home early in the mornings sometimes, and things always seemed simple. "I want to be a programmer, sir," I said. "It's what I'm good at."

Korosensei nodded. "I see. So, are you choosing your career because you _enjoy_ it, or because you're _good_ at it?"

I...

Weren't they the same thing? I... What? Why wouldn't I enjoy doing something I'm good at? I mean, I like programming. If I didn't, I wouldn't do it, right? Sure, working for Kikuoka was a means to an end, but it was all so I could stay with Kana. That was my goal...

But did that mean I enjoyed it?

...I didn't have a good answer for Korosensei.

I stepped out of the Staff Room and nodded to Nakamura, who was lounging comfortably on the chair. After a quickly-exchanged greeting, I went back to the classroom and dropped off my still empty career sheet before reclining in my seat, staring at the ceiling. Korosensei's question still echoed in my head, keeping me from thinking about anything else.

'Are you choosing your career because you _enjoy_ it, or because you're _good_ at it?'

What else was there? I had to be missing something, right? ...What did I even want to do with my life in the first place? There was Kana, of course, and she was my number one priority, which meant I needed _some_ form of income to help support us. She'd be working as well - writing, whether she managed to achieve her dream of becoming an author or she ended up in another field entirely. I'd support her fully, of course, but that went beyond saying.

And then there was the rest of my family, Asuna and Shino and Sugu and all the others. They were important to me as well, and I wasn't going to let something small like going off to college or getting a full-time job keep me from them.

I mean, what did I even want out of the job anyway? It gave me a routine, that was something I needed. The routine kept me safe and secure, and it meant I didn't have to question what came next. I could just safely hide in the habits. Working for Kikuoka meant I would always be challenged with new puzzles, too, so that was fun. I would always have something to do, and from the few weeks I'd been working for him it wasn't like he was a bad boss. Yeah, I didn't mind working for him at all.

But, on the other hand... I _didn't_ mind working for Kikuoka. I _didn't_ mind being a programmer. Of course I didn't, I never _minded_ anything. Did I want to work for Kikuoka, that was the question. Obviously, no, of course not, I'm lazy and I'd love to just do nothing but spend time with my family if I had the choice. The real world doesn't work like that, though, so I had to work for someone. Kikuoka was a good enough offer, and since he'd already confirmed that once I graduated from college he'd do his level best to find a position for me under his team I was already set.

And I liked being a programmer, I think. It was fun to help Ritsu out and work on code with her. But did I like it enough to do it for forty to fifty-odd years?

I don't... I don't know.

See, Kana knew what she was doing. She wanted to be a writer - she had her dreams that she wanted to accomplish. And so did Asuna, and Kazuto, and even Sugu and Shino, who weren't even at that stage in their life yet. Gods... Why can't I be more like them? Why can't I have everything figured out?

"You seem like you're thinking hard," Karma drawled from beside me.

I just laughed. "Counting the number of stab marks on the ceiling," I said. "I'm up to at least thirty, though I think I double-counted a few." I stood up and stretched. "Just bored."

We wandered back over to Nagisa, where the boy was furiously erasing the career sheet that Nakamura had jokingly filled out. Kayano was leaning over his desk as well, watching him. As the class chattered, I looked around to see Professor Bitch chatting with Yada and Kurahashi. "Uh-oh," Kayano said. "Miss Irina's top! The tag's still on!"

I squinted, cursing my shitty vision again under my breath. At least my glasses made things clear, and my training in assassination had definitely fixed the problems I'd always had with judging distances and guessing at depth. Sure enough, the tag was still stuck to the back of her sweater. "She's not used to buying stuff off the rack," Karma observed.

"You think maybe we should tell her?" Kayano asked.

Nagisa stood up from his chair. "I'll take care of it," he said.

Nagisa walked up to her. Professor Bitch was chatting with Kurahashi and Yada, telling them a story about her exploits.

He got closer. She kept talking.

Like a snake's strike, Nagisa –

\- snatched the tag off the back of her sweater and crushed it in his hand.

Professor Bitch didn't even pause in her story. It was like she didn't notice he was there at all.

"Hah..." I exhaled. It was like... with the Reaper. Where I was cognitively terrified of him, and my instincts told me to be wary of the danger in front of me, but emotionally it was impossible to be frightened in the slightest. Nagisa just had no _presence_. It was like the normal model of him I had in my head was perfectly accurate - until brief moments like that occurred and the python inside him emerged, shattering my preconceptions. "I see. The way he just - just stops being dangerous... Terrifying, isn't he."

"Yeah," Karma said lowly. "And he's not the only one."

"True," I nodded. "The class does have its fair share of talented assassins."

Karma looked at me, then nodded silently.

...Maybe, if I didn't _want_ to be a programmer. Maybe, just maybe, I could choose the road of the assassin...

...I had to think more on this.

That afternoon, I got home and tossed my bag to the floor, kicking off my shoes before stepping inside with a sigh. It was always a relief to get home, to be able to just relax and not worry about _anything_.

I glanced over at the whiteboard taking up a good corner of the living room; but I hadn't learned anything new about Korosensei recently, so the planning board didn't really have any work to be done on it. I used it to keep track of everything I knew about Korosensei and my classmates, just so I would have a reference on hand for planning. One side of the board had scribbles partially erased – that was for actually planning assassinations, but everything I was working on had fallen apart in the planning stage.

Since I wasn't going to plan assassination, maybe get something to eat?

On the other hand, it was too early for dinner, so I got to relax for a bit. I headed into my bedroom and grabbed the book from my nightstand before collapsing on the bed and getting comfortable. It was the latest book from my shelf; it was a pretty neat bookshelf I had at home, actually. It was always filled, with books of all different ages, sizes, and genres. I could always count on there being a new book as soon as I'd finished the last one and replaced it on the shelf.

The one I was currently reading was one I'd read before. Back before all this, Kana had given me a book series for Christmas, and I had just gotten around to reading it. By this point, though, I needed to reread everything. It even reminded me of Kana, and -

-I violently threw the book away from me, heedless of the force; as it crashed into the wall, I clutched at my head and rocked back and forth, clenching my eyes shut. Why, why, why, why, why.

Why did I have to be here. Why did she have to be there. I just want to know _why_.

It hurts. It hurts so much, missing her, missing them.

Gripping my head so hard my hands hurt, I let loose a wordless scream of pain and anguish. Nobody could hear me. Nobody was here to comfort me. There was nobody here. I just wanted my family-

-I blinked.

What time is it? I've lost track of time again. Taking a few deep breaths, I sighed and looked around the room - sure enough, a book was lying on the floor, open and pages down. This has been happening more and more, recently; I'd blink and realize a chunk of time had just smeared together, and the only thing I could remember when trying to figure out what was going on was an indescribable sadness and rage. I never really probed too deeply - after all, if I didn't remember what happened, there was probably a good reason.

When I realized that I'd lost time there was always something damaged. If I was reading, then it was the book; those were the better ones, because if it wasn't the book, then it was almost always my knuckles. I could see the spot where I'd punched the wall repeatedly, even if I didn't remember.

I groaned and got up, grabbing my coat and shrugging it on. My routine after these things was always to get something to eat, whether it was before or after dinner; fortunately, this one had happened before dinner, so I had time to go buy food. Maybe I'll catch the train down to the classroom and eat dinner with Ritsu. I liked spending time with her, even if it meant I was bothering the poor AI.

Yeah, that sounds like a good idea. Let's do that.

When I slid the door open, Ritsu flickered to life. "Nick?" she asked, blinking at me. "What are you doing here?"

"Just came to spend some time with you," I said with a casual shrug. "No rules against that, right? Pretty sure there aren't. Not that they'd care if an E Class student was being a horrible rule-breaker anyway." Sitting down, I unwrapped my dinner - a chicken sandwich, yum - and took a bite. "You don't mind?"

"Of course not," Ritsu said in a hurry. "I was just surprised, that's all."

I smiled. "Oh, good. I'm glad I didn't impose."

See, this? This helped, I think. The wound in my emotions was still raw, but that didn't mean I couldn't spend time with Ritsu.

"Hey, Ritsu?" I began hesitantly.

"What is it, Nick?" the girl asked.

I licked my lips, staring at my sandwich. "No, never mind," I said finally. That wasn't really something I should be discussing with my classmates. "Don't worry about it."

She looked at me, eyes brimming with concern, and then nodded. "Alright," she said. "Oh! I found a really cute video online the other day, and I was waiting for a chance to share it with you."

Like that, with videos of cute kittens being cute and other such random things, I managed to waste a few hours. By the time I needed to actually go home and go to sleep, I was in a much better mood. Being able to watch stupid internet videos and sing along (badly, naturally) to random songs Ritsu played did that. It was almost enough for me to forget how much I missed my family.

While riding the train home, though, I was thinking hard on the subject of assassination. It really wasn't _that_ bad an option, come to think of it. I still had the thrill of the challenge, only instead of tracking down a particularly stubborn bug it would be tracking down a particularly stubborn target. Trap blueprints would be drawn up instead of system diagrams.

Honestly, more importantly I wouldn't ever get bored. I wouldn't ever have the moments I'd already started to run into where I just didn't want to do anything. There would always be a new target to analyze, to study, to break apart and then utterly destroy. The thrill of the kill was something I'd learned to love, back in Aincrad, and while the game would always give me that opportunity to discover the perfect way of killing a boss eventually it would start to pall. There was no game that could last forever, after all.

Of course, I wasn't stupid enough to believe that being an assassin would be all fun and games, no matter how entertaining every day in E Class could be. I wouldn't be able to share my work with my family, and I knew they wouldn't be thrilled if I chose to kill people for a living.

I tried to ignore the traitorous voice in my mind whispering, _It's okay so long as you only kill bad people._

It would be dangerous, and if I was good at my job I'd probably end up making enemies - although, if I was _good_ at my job they wouldn't know I existed beyond whispers and rumors. I couldn't allow myself to die, though. I couldn't leave Kana and my family. They hadn't asked me to die yet, so I couldn't die. And to be an assassin would be to walk with the Shadow Lover. She'd already tried to court me in Aincrad, but if I lived by my blade, She would always be by my side.

Yeah... I have too many reasons I can't die. What a pity... Being an assassin would probably be a lot of fun. Maybe if it wasn't my full-time job? Hm... I'm actually curious. If I asked, that Kikuoka bastard might be able to hook me up with a job that lets me moonlight as an assassin. He seems like the type of person that would have something stupid like that just waiting in the wings.

* * *

The next day, when I arrived at class Nagisa was sitting at his desk, staring at its surface. I stared at the boy curiously. Something was wrong. He wasn't following his usual patterns. Seems like something happened between yesterday and today; I'd noticed that he was acting a little less upbeat than usual after his chat with Korosensei, but I had also noticed his entirely blank career guidance sheet. Unlike me, I'm pretty sure he just doesn't know what to do with his future.

My usual policy is that of standing on the sidelines and only assisting when necessary, but... Nagisa sighed, and my hand was forced. Taking a few deep breaths to wake up, I said, "Something wrong?"

"Huh?" Nagisa looked up, startled, then relaxed slightly. "Oh, hey Nick. How are you doing this morning?"

I raised an eyebrow. Nagisa, dodging the question? That's usually my play, not his. "Something wrong?" I repeated.

His shoulders slumped as he gave a little dry laugh. "Guess I can't fool you, huh? It's my mom. You met her when you and the others came over to my house, right?"

I nodded. "Mmhm," I 'said' as I put my bag by my desk.

"Well... She wants me to leave E Class."

I froze.

"And even worse, she's coming to the school today for a conference with Mr. Karasuma. But he's on a business trip, and Korosensei is convinced he can do it."

Oh.

Let's back up to that first part, then, shall we?

She wants Nagisa to leave.

I closed my eyes and shook my head. What's with these mothers? First my sister, and now Nagisa... And Shino's mom isn't exactly a sterling example either, though it's not her fault. At least with the rest of my family we have a positive good mom-bad mom ratio. But seriously, is that one of their favorite plays in the book or something? 'I feel like living vicariously through my progeny so I'm going to make sure they go to the schools _I_ wanted to go to and get the job _I_ wanted.'

Ugh.

Well, I should probably offer some sort of moral support. "I could kill her?" I said before my brain could tell my mouth it was a bad idea.

Nagisa stared at me, and I blinked. I mean, it wasn't like I had any other option. "H-haha, very funny," he said finally, and I blinked again. I was serious, though... Still, I wasn't going to be offering it again. The gag order from my brain had finally reached my mouth.

Still, it didn't feel like he was telling me everything. It was like there was something hidden in his face that I couldn't quite make out. Some other reason he was worrying about, that was still making the rhythm of his movements stiff and sluggish. It was like when I saw the Reaper, and even though I could see his face I couldn't see _him_ in my mind's eye. Strange.

"Hey, Nick?" he asked suddenly.

"Mm?"

"You... don't get along with your parents, right?" I sighed and looked at him, and he hurried to say, "I-If you don't want to talk about it, it's cool."

"No," I said slowly, "it's fine. I'll try my best." I sat back and folded my arms across my chest. "I don't... I get along with them for the most part. It's just that I don't... need them? I've graduated from them? It's hard to explain, really. Sorry."

Nagisa smiled faintly. "Don't worry about it. I know what you're trying to say, I think. And it wasn't my place to ask."

When the rest of the class eventually trickled in, Nagisa was badgered by Sugino and Kayano into repeating the problem. "Wow, seriously, your mom?" Sugino asked. "She's one tough cookie." He folded his arms behind his head. "Karma, Nick and I went around to his place once, but she was really strict."

"Woah, Nick socialized?" Fuwa muttered, and I glared dourly at her. Rude.

"Korosensei seems pretty sure he can handle it," Nagisa said, "but..."

Professor Bitch stepped up to us. "I see no reason _I_ couldn't play your teacher," she said.

Mimura grinned. "That's right! We have Professor Bitch!"

She grinned. "First off, I'm human," she said. "And after that octopus and Karasuma, I know you kids the best."

Kataoka smiled and shifted a desk over. "If you can pull it off, that's great. Let's practice, first, though." Hahaha this is going to crash and burn hilariously. She took a seat. "As this class's homeroom teacher, what do you think is the most important thing to have?"

"...Well," Professor Bitch said slowly, "if I had to name one thing, it would be 'becoming one' with others."

Muramatsu said, "Wow, she really looks like a teacher."

"Then," Kataoka continued, "how would you go about guiding Nagisa through this?"

"Well, first I would," Professor Bitch said, "teach Nagisa to go easy on the tongue when he kisses." Kataoka stumbled, somehow, while sitting down.

Fucking called it.

"First he should slowly relax his lips, until the tension between him and his partner's lips vanish. Once they become super soft, he should increase the pressure until it's not possible to tell the difference between his lips and his partner's..." Naturally, while Professor Bitch was going off on this lewd tangent, she was poking and toying with her own lips. "And then, while still 'becoming one' with his partner, he should softly put his tongue in."

Kataoka surged from the desk, red-faced and trembling with a pistol in one hand. Nagisa desperately clung to her arm to prevent her from shooting our teacher. "She's out of the question," Yoshida said.

Terasaka sneered, "They'd just shoot down this perverted bitch."

"Problem is," Hayami said, "officially, it's Mr. Karasuma. His name's on file, and when my parents asked for a parent-teacher conference, he was the one who took care of it. If our parents talk to each other, it won't add up."

Professor Bitch raised a hand to her chin. "Yeah, good call."

"Gahahahah," a male voice laughed from outside the classroom. I raised an eyebrow. "There's a simple solution. Yours truly becomes Tadaomi Karasuma."

"Korosensei?" Nagisa asked.

The door slammed open and there stood - Oh gods. "Hah!" Korosensei laughed. "No! I'm Karasuma!"

The octopus was standing there proudly, in one of his almost trademarked horribly lazy disguises. He didn't even have a nose or ears, but that wasn't the worst of it. He'd drawn three lines on his forehead to stand in for Karasuma's wrinkles, and the ill-fitting suit Korosensei wore didn't do much to hide the fact that he was ridiculously tall, or that his head was completely spherical. The worst part was, while he had hands, they were clearly floppy rubber gloves; and the 'arms' were badly inflated fake muscles. There was, in essence, exactly a zero percent that Nagisa's mother would be fooled.

"Worst cosplay ever!" Sugino and Okajima shouted.

"Did you draw lines on your face with a marker?!" Nakamura shouted.

Korosensei said, "It's a furrowed brow to accentuate his bleak world view! Details!"

"Why do your arms look like summer sausages?" Mimura demanded.

"These are Mr. Karasuma's bulging muscles!"

"You look ridiculous!"

While the rest of the class tried to figure out the best way to hide Korosensei's... Korosensei-ness, Nagisa stared off into the distance.

The end decision for disguising Korosensei was to shove most of him under the desk, to make it look like his upper body was relatively normal. Meanwhile, Sugaya carved ears and a nose to match Karasuma's features, and the girls drew eyebrows on Korosensei. It wasn't perfect - hells, it was barely passable - but it would have to do, since we were out of time.

" _That's_ Nagisa's mom?" Sugaya whispered, when we finally saw her walking up the path to the E Class building. Nagisa was waiting out front for her.

The woman looked exactly like I'd remembered her. Short hair a shade darker than Nagisa's blue, framing her no-nonsense face. She was dressed like an office worker, a simple white blouse and black skirt to go with her heels.

"She's a knockout!" Okajima whispered. Naturally.

"More like she'll knock _you_ out," Maehara said. "She looks beautiful, but strict at the same time."

As soon as Nagisa and his mother passed by the classroom, the boy's shoes and the woman's high heels echoing down the hall, we all slid open the windows to the outside and crept to the Staff Room's window so we could watch the meeting and make sure nothing went wrong.

"Excuse me," Nagisa's mom said, sliding the door to the staff room open. "It's a pleasure to meet you," she said politely to the disguised Korosensei, who was - so far - managing to be a passable Karasuma. "I'm Ms. Shiota, Nagisa's mother."

"Yes, yes, please have a seat," Korosensei said. "Good to see you."

I snorted quietly. " _That's_ his best impersonation of Karasuma's voice? It sounds like he's constipated."

"Shh," Kayano shushed me. "She'll hear you."

As Nagisa and Ms. Shiota took a seat, Korosensei continued, "Trekking up this mountain is quite a journey. You must be tired. Might I offer you a refreshing beverage?"

Nagisa's expression - blank eyes, slightly twitching - made me snicker on the inside.

"If I may say so, madam, you're quite stunning," Korosensei said. "I see where Nagisa gets his looks."

Ms. Shiota's smile suddenly shifted slightly. It wasn't like it changed physically; no, it was like the driving motivation behind it twisted. I shivered. It felt gross. "Why thank you," she said, reaching over to touch Nagisa's hair. "If only this one had been born a girl, I'd have groomed her to be my ideal!"

...What.

"Not quite sure I follow you," Korosensei said.

"Well, you see," Ms. Shiota said. Her eyes - that's what changed. I didn't notice right away because I don't like looking people in the eye, but her eyes were what shifted when Korosensei mentioned Nagisa's resemblance. "I wasn't allowed to wear my hair long," she said, tugging out Nagisa's hair ties and letting his hair fall free. I'd never seen him with his hair down, and it really did change everything. "And a girl is ever so much prettier with flowing locks. Oh Nagisa, what I wouldn't give to have had such lovely, full-bodied hair.

"I was so mad when he started tying it back for school this year," she continued, running her hands through his hair. Nagisa just looked away, sitting there passively. "But it looked so good I just had to let it slide, as long as he wouldn't cut it off." I felt myself starting to shut down a bit, the automatic reaction I had when I needed to not be overwhelmed with emotion. That wasn't a good sign. "Ah!" she said, straightening up. "But we're here to discuss his future. We can't afford to discourage them at this age. They're far too impressionable, in my experience."

I hate her.

"You're familiar with K.U.?" she asked. "They've accepted several graduates from Kunugigaoka High School. I'd very much like Nagisa to go one day, but being so far off-track in junior high will hurt his chances. So I've come here, with all due respect, to talk about what we can do to get him out of E Class."

It's not even because she's doing that to Nagisa, though that's fucked up in its own right – I've cross-dressed before, yeah, but it was _always_ willingly, or at the very least I was fine with it, clearly unlike Nagisa if his face is any indication. It's because she's hiding _something_ , under that weird mask of politeness that she's wearing right now. I can feel it, like an untuned instrument in an orchestra. All it would take would be one wrong word, one button press, and I feel like the entire melody would come crashing down.

Part of me wanted to press the button and see what kind of explosion I would set off.

"And I trust you spoke with Nagisa on the matter?" Korosensei asked after a pregnant pause.

"Oh, he's too young to understand what's at stake, believe me," Ms. Shiota said. "And at any rate, it's my job as a parent to steer him clear of the mistakes _I_ made at his age."

"Mom, I don't-" Nagisa started to say.

"Hush up now, sweetheart," Ms. Shiota said with a smile, "the adults are talking." The sour tone had suddenly surged louder at Nagisa's words, becoming discordant. He looked up at her, then fell silent, ducking his head.

Like usual, he didn't fight back against someone that had dismissed him. This... This had to be the root cause, didn't it? That would explain why he asked me about my relationship with my parents. Because his mother was... something, I'm not sure what yet. But that made sense, the puzzle pieces slotting together. It could be that this was just another symptom, and the cause of his diffidence - of his ability to not be a threat even when he's about to kill - is something else, but I doubt it. His mother's too pushy and too volatile. If a few words from Nagisa could almost set her off, there was no way she wasn't the one beating him down.

"Hah," Korosensei finally sighed. "Yes, well... I believe I'm starting to get a clearer picture of how Nagisa became the person he is today." Saying that, he reached up to his hair -

\- and then ripped it away from his head, revealing his baldness. Oh, crap, this might be bad. "Yes!" Korosensei announced, ignoring the way Nagisa and Ms. Shiota were staring in shock. "Indeed! I, Tadaomi Karasuma, _wear a toupee_!"

What the fuck.

"High schools, colleges, and hairstyles, ma'am," Korosensei said, "forgive me for saying so, are decidedly _not_ a parent's prerogative!" He raised the wig up in the air and tore it in half effortlessly. "I'm sorry," he said, crossing his arms on the desk in front of him. "Nagisa must be permitted to lead his own life. You'll get nowhere foisting your complexes onto him. Ms. Shiota," he said, looking up at the woman, "let me be perfectly clear. Unless Nagisa so desires, he will not be allowed to leave E Class."

The woman was trembling, her face twisting with rage. The gloom had wrapped around her and hoo boy was this going to get ugly, if my earlier guesses were anything to go by.

"WHAT THE HELL IS YOUR PROBLEM?!" Ms. Shiota suddenly shrieked, causing the other students beside me to topple over with shock. "SINCE WHEN DOES A TEACHER TALK LIKE THAT TO A PARENT? HOW _DARE_ YOU?! 'FOISTING MY COMPLEXES ONTO HIM'?"

While Ms. Shiota continued going off on her little rant explosion, Maehara exclaimed, "Woah! Holy crap!"

"That is one seriously pissed-off lady right there!" Sugino yelped. Poor Okuda looked like she was about to cry from the fear.

"Of course!" Ms. Shiota snapped, staring down at Nagisa. Her face was beet red. "That explains your attitude at home, lately! This bald _idiot's_ been giving you ideas! Well, WATCH THIS!" she shouted, storming out of the room. "When I'm done with you, your eyes will be WIDE OPEN!"

She slammed the Staff Room door behind her with a bang.

Yikes.

"Korosensei..." Nagisa said.

"Hm," our teacher said. "That was a bit more tactless than I planned. Still, though," he said, standing up and squeezing out from the desk, popping off the ears and fake nose before changing into his usual robes in a blur. "There's a lesson to be learned here," he said, replacing his hat. "You need to communicate your intentions more clearly from now on. Speak your mind."

"It's not that easy," Nagisa said, hanging his head. "Mom won't listen to anything I say. She only sees me as a second playthrough."

With a blur of speed, Korosensei tied Nagisa's hair back into its regular wing pigtails. "It isn't as though you're powerless," the octopus said. "If assassination is your forte, what _can't_ you do? The first round of your _own_ RPG started here in this classroom. Remember that."

Nagisa stared up at him silently, then nodded.

I noticed Karma staring off at the ground, and I looked in the direction he was examining. Dirt. Big deal. ...which is what I'd normally say, but this time it actually _was_ a big deal. There were footprints I didn't recognize in the dirt outside the window, like someone had been snooping around. Wonder who that was.

After class that day, I tapped Nagisa on the shoulder while we were walking down the hill to the train station. "Hey," I said.

He jumped a little bit, looking at me, and then blinked. "What is it, Nick?"

"I can always kill her for you, if you want." He stared at me in horror, and I sighed. "This time I _was_ joking, don't worry."

Nagisa relaxed for a second, then furrowed his brow in confusion. "This time?" he muttered.

"Anyway," I said, "just wanted to make an offer. My apartment isn't exactly spacious, but I could probably find enough room somewhere if you need a place to crash for a few days."

Staring at me, Nagisa slowly smiled. "No, it's okay," he said. "If I don't go home, it'll be worse when I do."

"The offer stands," I shrugged. I offered, the offer stands, I can't control if he won't accept it.

* * *

"...What are you wearing," Koujiro sighed, staring at the man as he got to his feet. He was wearing a blue yukata with wooden clogs under his bare feet.

This man is the one that's in charge of all this? Good gods.

"I'll take my leave then," Nakanishi said after saluting both Kikuoka and Koujiro. After a second, the sound of the doors sliding shut could be heard.

Kikuoka, still standing, leaned against the consoles. "But I have to stay on the ocean for another month. I just can't keep wearing a uniform for that long," he said easily, opening his arms wide with a smile. "Professor Koujiro, Miss Reynolds, Miss Chambers, it must have been a long journey. I'm glad you would come to RATH, and that our invitations have proved their worth."

"Well, we can't guarantee we'll be helpful, but we're glad you could have us," Koujiro nodded back. The two assistants greeted him in the same manner. Kikuoka looked over the others and smiled at Koujiro.

"Really, though, you're a vital part of this plan," Kikuoka insisted. "The final member of our trio, here at last."

"A trio, is it?" Koujiro mused. "Then the third member must be you, Higa."

The second man stopped tapping at his keyboard and spun in his chair. He was just as tall as Kikuoka, though he seemed shorter. His white hair stood up in tiny spikes, and he wore round glasses. Like Kikuoka, he wasn't wearing a standard uniform, though unlike Kikuoka he was wearing older, ratty clothes. A faded T-shirt, jeans that split the difference between shorts and pants - seriously, what was up with that? - and old sneakers. He looked more like an intern from college or university rather than one of Koujiro's peers.

Takeru Higa. Another of Kayaba's disciples. He gave Koujiro a sheepish smile and said, "That's me. I'm the last student of Shigemura, so if I don't carry on the legacy of my mentors, who will?"

Koujiro shook her head and sighed, "Really... You're the same as ever." There had been two impossibly talented figures in the Shigemura lab - Kayaba Akihiko and Sugou Nobuyuki. Someone like Higa would suffer under their shadows, but... here he was, involved in this grand undertaking. Hm... How interesting. What a remarkable path.

"Amazing," Koujiro said, shaking Higa's hand. "So? Who's the third person?"

Kikuoka showed that perfect poker smile again and shook his head. "Unfortunately, I can't introduce him right now. In a few days, maybe..."

"Oh, that's alright, Agent Kikuoka," the blonde assistant said, previously acting as Koujiro's shadow with the redhead assistant. I glanced her way, and she nodded; simultaneously, we removed the wigs and stepped forward.

You fell for the trap, Kikuoka. "If you can't say it," I purred, "we'll be more than happy to give you his name."

Asuna stared at him, her eyes steel. "Where is Kirito? Where is Nick?"

Kikuoka stared at the two of us, his poker face finally shaken. Emotions played over his face as he continued to open and close his mouth, before he finally whispered, "The identities should have been thoroughly checked using the database."

I gave him a smug grin. "Please, Nick's not the only one good at disguising himself." That Cait Sith disguise of his was so adorable, and I loved teasing him about it every chance I got. "Asuna and I just had to disguise ourselves, take a picture, and then swap the photos on the database a week ago, just before Miss Koujiro accepted your offer." Really, it wasn't difficult. "And by the way, tell them to beef up their security. Our friends said it wasn't much fun to break through their firewalls."

"And don't worry," Koujiro added with a smile. I was surprised she was on board with this, but she seemed okay with it. "The real Mayumi and Hinata are enjoying a sunbath in San Diego. Now, I think you understand the real reason I accepted the invitation, Kikuoka?"

"Ahah..." Kikuoka laughed weakly, rubbing at his temples. "I understand completely."

Higa, who up to this point had been staring at us blankly, suddenly started laughing. "See, that's... I told you, Kiku. Those boys were the biggest security hole in the plan."

Kikuoka looked over at him. "I should have expected this, you're right," he said. "Rythin never was one to leave things to chance."

I just grinned smugly. The same time that the video was unlocked for my viewing pleasure, an email had been sent to Koujiro talking about the Medicuboid technology she had helped create, and how it's basic design had been used to create the Soul Translator. As soon as Asuna knew about that, she composed an email of her own and asked for Koujiro's help to take them to see Kazuto and Nick. Somehow, she'd gotten through to Koujiro, and Koujiro had taken advantage of a year-old invitation from Kikuoka to smuggle us all onboard. It'd been fun to pretend that I was watching this from a third-person point of view; I get why Nick does this, now.

All of this was worth it just to surprise Kikuoka. I just wish I could take a picture and show it to Nick.

"So, since we're here," I drawled, "why don't you bother explaining yourself?"

"Why'd you pretend to be a lowly desk agent in the Ministry of Internal Affairs? What are you planning in this large turtle? Why did you kidnap Kirigaya and Weyr?" Koujiro shot off one question after another.

Kikuoka shook his head, his composure back. Well, we'd had him rattled for a few seconds. "First, let me explain this misunderstanding - there never was a kidnapping in the first place." I glared at him, trying to set him on fire with my mind. No dice. Damn. Spontaneous combustion was still out of my skillset. "While I did drag Kirito and Rythin into RATH through somewhat forceful means, it was both under Rythin's direct request and intended to save both young men."

"We are aware," Asuna snapped. If she'd been wearing her rapier, she'd have placed her hand on the hilt. "What I want to know is _why_ you didn't tell us."

"Ah..." Kikuoka looked almost sheepish. "Well, that's because this needed to stay a state secret, and, well, secrets have a habit of getting out..."

"Three can keep a secret only if two are dead, I know, I know," I hissed. "You're lucky that Nick sent me a video explaining everything, or we'd be having a _very_ different conversation right now. So _explain why they needed to be taken_."

"Yes ma'am," Kikuoka nodded, his expression serious as can be. "Both Kirito and Rythin had been injected with succinylcholine, a powerful and fast-acting muscle relaxant. They fell into a coma when their heart stopped, and both of them suffered certain amounts of brain damage. So much so, I'm afraid, that modern medicine couldn't have treated them."

My stomach twisted over on itself, and my cheeks felt cold. "Can't... be treated..." Asuna whispered, her face suddenly pale.

"The neural cells were damaged in such a way that we had no idea if they'd ever be able to wake up again," Kikuoka said. Asuna and I stared daggers at him. "Girls, girls, please, there's no need to make those expressions. I said that modern medicine couldn't help. That's why Rythin approached me ahead of time. RATH has the Soul Translator. Using STL, it's possible to boost the regeneration of the brain's neural network by reviving the Fluctlight itself. It would just be a matter of time.

"Right now," he said, pointing at the ceiling, "Kirito is connected to the main conduit of the STL, as is Rythin. They needed to be here, because our branch in Roppongi just couldn't handle the delicate operations necessary. Once we'd finished treating them and they regained consciousness, we were going to explain everything to his family and to you, Asuna, Kana, and then send them home."

My head swam, and Asuna and I subtly leaned against each other to keep standing. All of our worries and tension, every bit of steel that we'd needed to pull this off and do whatever it took to make it to the side of our loved ones, it collapsed. Asuna gasped quietly as a tear rolled down her cheek, and my own eyes were burning suspiciously. She wiped away her tear and shook herself. "Then, are they alright? Will Kirito and Nick wake up?"

"Ah, I can assure you of that. Their treatment will be on par with any large hospital. We've even assigned them a specialized custodian." I stared at him, trying to remember what Nick said about reading people with a poker face, but he seemed on the level.

"I understand," Asuna said.

I nodded slightly. "We'll trust you for now," I said.

Kikuoka heaved a small sigh of relief and his shoulders relaxed slightly. Koujiro stepped forward and asked, "But why Kirigaya and Weyr? They're just ordinary high school students, and I can't believe that you'd do all this just because Weyr asked you to help. You said that Kirigaya was the third member of the trio - what do you need his help for?"

Kikuoka exchanged glances with Higa, and then shrugged his shoulders in a resigned manner. "I'll have a lot of things to explain if I explain that."

"We have time," Koujiro said.

"Very well. But, let me warn you, you'll have to assist in development since I have to explain all this." What a dick.

Koujiro wasn't impressed. "I'll decide once I hear you out."

Kikuoka looked irritated - good. Suffer, jerk - and dramatically sighed. He pulled a small tube from his yukata sleeve and poured out some small lemon sweets before popping them into his mouth. He offered a few to us, but we all turned him down. "Very well... So, I suppose I can assume you all know the basics of the STL?"

Asuna nodded, and I said, "It's a machine that's basically reading the human soul. The Fluctlight. Then it creates a virtual world, completely identical to the real world. And," I added, "you're using the STL to try to create a bottom-up AI. Artificial Labile Intelligence, so to speak."

Higa whistled, his eyes gleaming in admiration. "Amazing. Kirito shouldn't have known this much, we were careful not to taint the experiment. How'd you manage to figure it out?"

Asuna looked over at Higa, sizing him up, and then said stiffly, "...We heard the phrase from Kirito." Ah. I'd shown the video to the girls immediately, of course, but it seems Asuna is going to keep that quiet. Good thinking - technically speaking, it was probably illegal for this information to come from Nick. So as long as we kept his part of this quiet, only revealing the information we knew from figuring it out ourselves, he'd be safe. The price for the source of our information is just too high.

"He mentioned it offhand, and we pieced together the rest separately," I said, solidifying both of their excuses.

"Haha, I see. Looks like it'd be better for you to check on the confidentiality of the Roppongi branch, Kiku," Higa grinned.

Kikuoka frowned and looked away. "I was prepared for some level of information leaking. I'd considered that risk when deciding that we needed his help. You should - ah." He looked sheepish. "Where were we? Right, the highly adaptive Artificial Intelligence." He popped another sweet into the air and caught it in his mouth. "The bottom-up type AI is a replicated construct of the human consciousness. For a long time, we thought it was just a pipe dream. We had no idea what kind of structure it was, or how it was formed... But despite not knowing anything, we were able to use the data provided by Miss Koujiro and the amazing Soul Translator Higa created to successfully capture a human soul - the Fluctlight. Now that we've made it this far, we feel that the bottom-up AI is just around the corner. Do you know why?"

Koujiro shuddered. "If you can read a human soul, you just need to clone it... that's all, right? But then how do we contain the soul copy..."

"Yes, that was the problem. The elements used in the past for quantum computer systems weren't enough, so we created the Quantum Particle Gate Crystallization. Or, more commonly, a Lightcube. The details are bit extensive, but in the end... we've successfully cloned a human soul."

Asuna turned a little pale at that declaration. I wasn't quite sure how to feel about it yet. "Then isn't the research over?" Koujiro asked. "Why call us?"

Kikuoka glanced over at Higa, who had a slanted and weak smile, and nodded slowly. "Well, we did successfully clone a soul, but we didn't realize... There's a large gap between a human clone and a real Artificial Intelligence... Higa, would you mind showing them the example?"

"Really?" Higa sighed. "This'll be really messy..." Shaking his head, he swiveled and started tapping the console unwillingly.

* * *

The next day, I paused to stare at a suspiciously blackened patch of grass. This looks a lot like something was burning... And it wasn't just that one bit of grass. It was spread out across the entire front of the school grounds.

"Morning, Nick," Nagisa said. I looked up at him, and smiled faintly. That rhythm of his was... smoother. It was a little more regular, this time. I wonder what happened yesterday? "What are you... oh."

I stared at him, then looked back at the ground. Then back to him. He fidgeted in place, and I narrowed my eyes. He wasn't surprised to see this blackened patch. "This is your fault, somehow," I said.

"I, uh..."

"Finally," I sighed. "Somebody _else_ had to deal with the crazy shit. _Thank_ you."

* * *

 **Honestly, Nagisa's personal moments of growth don't really line up with Nick's moments. He's already had the 'you need to communicate' lesson beaten into him.**

 **(I tried to have Nick up at E Class to watch the Belmont Assassin get owned, but it just didn't take. Sorry.)**

 **Anyway! Moving right along. Nick's decision for the future was shaken a bit by Korosensei's question. He doesn't really** _ **want**_ **to do much of anything; he's closer to settling for what he can get rather than chasing his dream. It's comfortable and familiar, so he's going to just go for what's in front of him. That's the other problem – he's never really developed a dream. He doesn't have motivation to do anything since he's always relied on external influences to decide what he'd do.**

 **He doesn't really have an answer to Korosensei's question just yet.**

 **The rest of the update was Nagisa's Mom being insane and psycho. Not really that much to it, honestly, except for Nick being present. This was another one of those events that had to happen for** _ **other**_ **characters to grow, not him, and unfortunately there was just no way around that. It really is a shame that I couldn't have Nick on the campus that night, since it would have led into a pretty great scene where Nick sees Nagisa unconscious on the ground, with Ms. Shiota standing over him with a flaming torch – and then calls up Ritsu to ask if that's normal parent-child behavior, he wouldn't know.**

 **You might have noticed, but Nick is developing his own version of the Reaper and Nagisa's little wavelength frequency thing when they read a person's mental state. For him, though, it's almost like music. If you want, you can think of it as a minor, niche case of synesthesia - if he knows how to interpret expressions, line of sight, breathing patterns, even subconsciously, he'll hear the music to represent what they're feeling. (my excuse for this: one, it's cool, and two, just pretend that the STL machine put the pieces back together a little bit weirdly.)**

 **Many thanks to everyone that favorited, followed, or left a review – sorry this one didn't get so far.**

* * *

 **Canon Omake: Nagisa Time**

"Korosensei?" Nagisa asked. The teacher was driving him and his unconscious mother home after their harrowing ordeal up on the campus. "Can… I ask you something?"

"Of course!" Korosensei replied, eyes never leaving the road. Safety first, after all.

Nagisa took a breath. "Sometimes," he said, "it's like I see an image inside my head. It's the faces of the people in front of me. Sometimes they're cheerful, and sometimes they're gloomy. If the face is cheerful, it's safe, but when it looks gloomy, it's dangerous. When I fought with Mr. Takaoka, whenever I saw his face turn gloomy I felt like I needed to dodge and counter-attack."

He ducked his head, staring at his lap. "It's something that happens unconsciously, and I'm pretty sure it happens because I've spent my whole life learning how to read my mom's expressions. But, back when the Reaper used that clap attack against me, it felt like an electric current was flowing through my body, and my vision totally changed.

"It was that frequency the Reaper was talking about. It's the same thing I've been seeing as cheerful and gloomy. Breath, line of sight, expression. Using those elements, I can find the decisive gap in a person's consciousness."

The car pulled up to a red light, and Korosensei looked over at the boy, who had fallen silent and was staring at his hands. "That's not all, though, is it?"

"…No," Nagisa said hesitantly. "It's… Nick. When I look at him, no matter what, I can barely read his consciousness. It just always appears like he's calm and collected, even when he's in the middle of ranting about something. Why is that?"

"The phenomenon you're describing," Korosensei said, "has to do with Nick's mental state. If you were to examine the frequency of the Reaper, or indeed your own, you would notice much the same thing. Like you, Nick is swiftly becoming skilled in hiding his bloodlust until the very last moment. Quite the change from earlier this year, when it leaked everywhere."

Nagisa nodded. "I guess…"

Silence filled the car.

"Rrr, come on!" Korosensei growled, tapping the steering wheel repeatedly with one tentacle. His face was bright red. "There's no cross traffic! How long does it take to get a green light?!"

Korosensei Weakness Number Thirty-Five: He suffers from road rage.

 **A quick thing on the drive home. A look at Nick from Nagisa's point of view, and why Nagisa sometimes has a hard time reading Nick the same way Nick has a hard time reading Nagisa.**


	10. School Festival Time

**Chapter 10: School Festival Time**

* * *

"SURPRISE!"

 _Tell us, Kunudon!_

The anthropomorphic acorn slides on-screen, holding a Kunugigaoka brochure in one hand. "Well hello there, boys and girls! Fall's here at last! And you know what that means! Food, studying, and festivals! Kunugigaoka's fall festival is the real deal!"

 _With a great return-on-investment ratio!_

Kunudon flips open the festival brochure. "Head hunters from top-tier corporations come to scout out potential hires, so be sure you make a good impression!"

 _Unemployment is at an all-time high!_

"Don't be like those students whose poor business sense makes them a laughingstock of the upper class!"

 _Nouveau riche! Hooray!_

...

I blinked at the ceiling in confusion. "At this rate," I grumbled, "the dreams about Kana are starting look like the better option."

* * *

As Kayano, Nagisa and I walked down the street on our way to class, the sound of hammering and drilling and various other construction noises filled the air to our left. "The people from the main building are putting everything they've got into this," Kayano said. "That's really incredible."

I stared at the rather over-the-top construction job that was going on. I saw kids with power tools, hand saws, carrying lumber around, and even someone studying blueprints intently. "Is... This isn't _normal_ , right?" I asked Nagisa. I've never been to a school festival before, but I'm _pretty_ sure this might be beyond the pale, especially for middle-school kids.

Nagisa grinned. "Our school's festival is incredibly popular," he said. "Profits from the stall are donated, but the amount each class earns is posted everywhere around the school, along with the ranking. If your class got first place, it's a huge resume booster.

"That's why everyone's so serious about this," he said as we passed a stall that was busy cooking pasta. There was some costume... thing drumming up business. "There's a lot of stalls here that wouldn't lose even when compared to professional stores."

I shook my head. "This just seems ridiculous," I sighed. Then again, it _does_ kinda remind me of Shino's attitude when she made me join her in GGO for an event that one time, where all of the gunsmiths put on a huge display.

"I wonder if E Class's gonna do something again this time."

The three of us perked up at the sound of our class's name, and crouched down by the wall, peering through the grate separating the campus from the street. "They have this strange kind of explosive power this year," one of the kids said. "They're definitely gonna push for beating A Class."

"Nah," another kid said. He was busy hammering something. "It'll be impossible for them this time. They have to open their shop on that mountain. No way a customer wants to climb all the way up there."

"Also," a third boy said, "A Class has Asano. They'll make another Super Middle-School Level shop."

"That's right," the second guy said. "E Class also got beat during the midterm tests. I guess they're just E Class after all..."

"No, you guys don't understand," the first kid said, sighing.

Nagisa and Kayano looked at each other. I just sighed and spread my hands in a casual shrug before getting to my feet. "Well, we still have a chance," I said. "Let's not fall into despair just yet."

Class started on time, but instead of our first period class Isogai and Kataoka stood up at the front of the class to discuss what E Class was going to be doing for the school festival. The other classes' shops were displayed on the board, and they ranged from the typical Maid Café to something called a Creative Bento shop. I'm not entirely sure what exactly they'd be selling there, but I'm curious.

"The main campus is really going nuts over this year's festival," Maehara said.

"The hype is insane," Isogai said. "Probably 'cause they think we're up to something."

Korosensei grinned at the front of the podium. "We will win," he told us. Uh... okay. "As of right now," he said, "you have grown so much that you can face A Class as true rivals. This competition will be decided by skills _not_ assassination-related."

"...Skills?" Nagisa asked, confused.

"Yes," Korosensei said. "If you've learned your lessons up until now, you will definitely have a chance at victory."

Yoshida frowned. "...Then tell us how to win," he said.

Hazama raised a few coins, fiddling with them. "The items on the shop's menu can't cost more than 300 yen," she said. "Who in the world would hike up this huge mountain just to eat a meal made from cheap ingredients that costs less than 300 yen?"

"Word is," Sugino added, "Asano made a deal with some big restaurant chain."

Nakamura sighed. "Yeah, well I wouldn't put it past the guy."

Korosensei raised a finger. "Asano has the right idea. This is all about providing something unique! Give people a bargain and you'll draw them in, even on a shoestring budget."

Maehara said, "Sounds nice, but how're we gonna do that?"

"Come now, children," Korosensei said. "The answers are all around you! E Class can give customers a one-of-a-kind bargain on these!" He raised...

"An acorn?" Isogai asked, staring at the single acorn Korosensei was holding in his tentacle pseudopod.

"Thousands of these little things are scattered in the mountains," Korosensei said. "There are several kinds of them, but the acorns from the trees on the mountain are most suitable for what we're going to do with them. Please go pick all the acorns you can find."

Shrugging, we all got to work. With our mobility, we were able to canvas the mountain pretty easily; and with Ritsu acting as a mission control, updating her topographical map every time someone found a new tree.

Before long, we had bags of the acorns all collected. "Put them in water and throw away any that float," Korosensei told us. "Break the shell and extract the interior. Once you've blended them finely, put the acorns in a cloth sack and leave them in the river for a week so that impurities are washed away.

"After that," he said, "we leave them to dry in the sun for three days in the field, and then grind them up to make a fine acorn flour we will use instead of wheat flour."

Maehara was working hard on the grinding part. It made me glad I didn't have to do it, at any rate.

"Our special item we use to attract customers will be ramen!" Korosensei announced, hefting the bags of flour we'd made. "We're going to use this flour to make noodles!"

"Did you say... ramen?" Muramatsu repeated. He tasted the flour, and then frowned in thought. "It's not going to be easy," he said. "The taste and smell are interesting, but it's missing gluten. We'll need something that has strong binding properties so we can knead the flour and make a smooth dough... We'll need to buy that, even if we have the flour."

"We have these, too," Korosensei said, leading us outside to trees. "This plant, with small potato-like fruits called mukago, are very peculiar. If you carefully dig at the base of these roots..."

"Tada!" he announced, holding up a gnarled... something or other.

"Woah!" Sugino exclaimed. "This is a yam!" Ick. I hate yams.

"Naturally-grown yams can fetch up to several thousand yen in stores," Korosensei told us. "And if you grate the yams, the smell and connective properties are on a totally different level to the ones you can buy. And, we can use it to make a good dough." Muramatsu hummed in thought.

Grabbing shovels, E Class scattered to find the plants using our keen eyes we developed for assassination. "When I finish middle school," Isogai said dreamily, rubbing his cheek against the yam he was holding, "I'm going to be a yam digger~..."

"Isogai?!" Kataoka exclaimed. "His future plans are being derailed after he got his hands on high-quality ingredients!" Really? This is just getting ridiculous. I know you're poor, guy, but come on.

After everyone returned with yams in hand, Muramatsu rested his hands on the flour. "With the yams and the acorns," Korosensei said, "we have basically obtained the noodles for free. With what remaining money we have, we can buy higher-quality goods at the supermarket."

"I see," our resident chef said. "Then, it'd be better to make spiced noodles for the ramen, since the fragrance of the wild ingredients is more compatible with a dense soup. There aren't many kinds of spiced noodles on the market, so it'll be pretty unique."

I just stared at him, then turned to Nagisa. "Do you have any idea what he's talking about?" I muttered.

"But what about the tools for making it?" Muramatsu asked.

Hara rolled up her sleeves. "And isn't the menu going to be a little bare with just ramen?"

"Everyone else is working on that as we speak," Korosensei said.

Coming up the hill with fishing rods slung over their shoulders, Terasaka and Kurahashi delivered a basket of live fish, twitching and flopping around. "Lots of fish live in the pool, y'know," Terasaka said.

"Salmons, char, minnow," Kurahashi said, pointing to each different type of fish. "Ah, prawns are really tasty too~."

"Even if we don't catch a lot of them," Takebayashi said, adjusting his glasses, "the quality should be perfect for the side menu. They're really cheap so we can use that to bring in customers."

Kimura and Yada returned next, carrying large baskets of fruit they'd collected from the mountain trees. "Korosensei," Kimura said, "I think we picked enough fruit from the trees."

Yada raised a vine that had things looking like little purple grapes. "Other than the chestnuts, persimmons, and walnuts, are these edible?"

Korosensei picked them up. "The Crimson Glory vine, eh? It's like a sweet vinegar, and with the right amount of sugar it can become a splendid juice. But be careful, because there's a poisonous look-alike." He selected another fruit from Yada's basket. The skin was chocolate-covered, but Korosensei split it open to reveal a pale green inside. "These fruits here have a jelly inside that can be eaten right away with a spoon, and its skin can be fried with miso to make something appealing to adults."

Another basket clattered to the ground. "What do you think of those mushrooms, Korosensei?" Karma asked. "Oh, and it's okay if you let me take care of the poisonous ones," he said innocently. "I'll be in charge of throwing them away."

"New rule," I said in a deadpan. "Karma is not allowed near mushrooms ever."

Nagisa just sighed. "What are you going to use them for, Karma?"

Korosensei started going through the basket, tossing away mushrooms now and then. "Half of the mushrooms here are poisonous, but... Karma. Among them is a specimen of incredible value."

The item he lifted was so bright we had to shield our eyes. "A... A matsutake?" the class murmured, shielding our eyes from the glow of the thick mushroom. It was like staring directly at an epic-rare item. Off to the side, Isogai was blown away by the sheer value of the item in front of him, reeling and only kept upright by clinging to Maehara desperately.

"If you bought this at a store and made a full course with it," Korosensei said, "one serving of the meal would cost around 3000 yen." Hoo boy. "And they can be easily found in this mountain. The fact that this place is so hidden away is not a handicap, but an advantage. These ingredients have a lot in common with you!" Korosensei announced, tentacles wriggling. "You're all tucked away in the mountains where your value tends to go unnoticed!"

Terasaka grinned, smacking Muramatsu's shoulder amicably. "I get it," he said. "We'll hit our customers where they least expect! What a cool idea, an assassination restaurant."

"In a manner of speaking, yes," Korosensei said. "Now, brandish these secret blades like you're going in for the kill!"

For the next few days, while we prepared our food, everyone in E Class was busy. Hara worked nearly non-stop to prepare delectable desserts of every shape imaginable, from cupcakes to mini pudding cups; in the storage shed, Kayano and Sugino smoked some of the fish caught from the river. Mimura and Sugaya worked on the advertising aspect, creating flyers and posters and making them catch the eye.

Everyone put their skills to the tests; as someone without many applicable skills, I was on ingredient-fetching duty, as well as helping out with any odd jobs one of the more specialized workers required. Of course, that didn't mean I couldn't have a little fun while I was at it. "Hey, Kataoka, Isogai," I said, landing next to them after jumping off a cliff. "Wanted to chat with you two."

Kataoka smiled. "What is it, Nick?"

I grinned slyly. "So, we're running a ramen stand, right? And that means we need waiters, right?"

"Yeah, what about it?" Isogai asked me.

My grin widened a little bit. "Why should we be _boring_ and just have regular waiters? I mean, waiters that can jump around like crazy, but just regular waiters all the same. We need something the other classes wouldn't dream of doing."

Kataoka exchanged glances with Isogai, and then looked at me, raising an eyebrow. "You sound like you have something in mind."

"Why not have some of the waiters crossdress?" I suggested, smirking. "I mean, you two've already captured the hearts of the girls on the campus, why not go for the guys too? I'm _sure_ they'd love to see their Prince Charming as a Princess, and I'm pretty sure Kataoka would _kill_ as a butler."

"...We'll keep it in mind," Kataoka said, giving me a flat stare. Laughing, I waved and jumped away. It was fun messing with those two.

And then, on a Sunday in the middle of November, the curtains opened on the school festival war. "Alright," I sighed, "why exactly did I have to get here earlier than the rest of the class?" I was actually awake for this, reluctantly. I hated getting to class early, but I'd forced myself to wake up ahead of schedule. My body really wanted to sleep, and I'd yawned constantly on my way here, but... I was awake and coherent.

Yada tugged on my arm, Okano pushing at my back. "It'll take a while for you to get dressed," the ponytailed girl said. "If you didn't start early, you wouldn't be ready by the time we opened."

"A while?" I asked, letting them lead me wherever we were headed. "I thought we were just wearing our usual school uniforms and aprons, except the ones in charge of ingredient retrieval."

"And the girls will have maid headbands," Okano reminded me.

As the door slid open to the Staff Room, I paused on the threshold. There was a chair in the room facing us, with a few other girls nearby; Kataoka and Fuwa were grinning at me while Hayami stood by passively with her arms folded. More importantly than that, however, was the uniform hanging near the wall. It was a girl's uniform.

And scattered across the Staff Room desk was makeup, what looked like hair extensions, and all sorts of other things I didn't know well enough to put names to.

I think I may have done a goof.

Okano pushed me forward and I stumbled a few steps, giving Yada the opening to pull my hand and sit me down in the chair. I sighed and let Okano remove my glasses as the other girls started working on my transformation. "What's wrong, Nick?" Kataoka asked, hiding a smile as she brandished a hairbrush. "You seemed so interested in this idea three days ago."

Yep. I have definitely made a rather large-sized mistake.

…

"What's up with the crossdressing?" Karma asked me as we all assembled to start up the shop.

"I may or may not have said something stupid to Isogai and Kataoka a few days ago and gotten the latter pissed at me," I sighed, pitching my voice to sound feminine. "Really, I'm just impressed that they managed to get a uniform that matches my size in the short time frame between now and then."

Hara grinned, leaning out of the window from the kitchen. "It wasn't _that_ hard. You've got the same proportions as Okano, basically. I just had to adjust the shoulders and waist a little, since you're a guy."

Okano sighed. "That doesn't make me feel great..." she muttered.

"At least I can pull it off," I said. I definitely didn't look like a boy anymore with long hair and the makeup they'd used, and since they'd started an hour and a half before the festival started, they'd had time to do a _lot_ to me. They didn't even use that much makeup, either; it was subtle, but they'd applied it expertly to disguise my masculine traits and bring out the feminine aspects. Just long, braided hair, some mascara and lip gloss, and 'highlighting my cheekbones', whatever that meant, was enough to fool the casual observer.

Nagisa just stared at me, and I gave the boy a wink. If I had to guess, he was wondering why I seemed so comfortable dressing as a girl; with what his mother had done, the reason he had long hair, I couldn't exactly blame him. Still, I was sadly used to wearing girl's clothes by this point, so it barely phased me.

Plus, I could appreciate that if my sisters or Kana saw me looking like this, they'd probably say I looked kinda cute.

Yada was down at the base of the mountain to attract customers, but I hadn't left her totally alone. I'd learned a lot from Kana about information, and the number one rule - well, number two, since number one was 'Always charge them for information' - was 'Have eyes and ears everywhere'. So, in my limited capacity as information broker, I'd made a point of littering small wireless cameras basically _everywhere_ , in an attempt to replicate the kind of camera network the Reaper had set up.

It was passable, and more to the point it let me get a headstart on the orders from below. That way, the lack of fridge all the way up here wasn't an actual detriment; when a customer ordered something that needed delicate ingredients, the order was relayed to the ingredient retrieval squad and they grabbed them from the mountain. By ordering something at the base of the mountain, it would be ready when they reached the top.

We used our disadvantageous position and turned it into a positive, just like assassins.

"Two customers, on their way up," I called out. "Both are getting the noodles, and one's getting the grilled fish."

"Roger!" Muramatsu called back. Soon, the air was filled with the delicious smell of simmering broth.

Man, I'm hungry all of the sudden. Oh well, time to put on my best Asuna act. It's a good thing I know a lot of her little mannerisms, like cocking my head and playing with my hair.

The customers trickled in a little at a time, and while we were kept busy there just weren't that many people coming to our shop. We even offered Yoshida and Terasaka as raw horsepower in case people couldn't climb the mountain on their own, but it was still too much for some people.

Ah well. I was busy carrying dishes to and from the tables, which was probably why I missed the trouble approaching until it was immediately on us. "Hey... Cool place you got here..."

I get the feeling the high school kid's intimidation would ring a little bit more threatening if it hadn't been panted out as the thug stumbled up to the top of the mountain, utterly exhausted. Still, I was irritated with myself that I'd missed the five thugs coming up the mountain. Even if I'd been serving a customer, that was no excuse... Hah, guess I just wasn't on Kana's level yet, huh?

Sugino whirled around, and his eyes widened. "The high school thugs from our class trip!"

They weren't all here, of course. Just the ringleader with the scar on the side of his face, and a few of the other scruffy ones. I remember breaking the nose of the one on the left, and suddenly dressing as a girl for today doesn't seem so bad after all.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Sugino demanded. The guys from the group assembled as Kanzaki and Okuda shrunk away. As for me, I just watched with a small smile.

"Hey, guys," Karma said almost casually. "Huh, come to kidnap another girl?"

"Yeah, 'cause I'm an idiot," the leader said. "You think I want your freak show of a teacher on my back? No thanks." He reached out to grab a pair of the disposable chopsticks we'd placed on the table for customers to use. "'Course, I don't gotta get physical to wreck your day. Not at all," he said, trying to sound sinister. "I could just start tellin' everybody your food tastes like crap."

He pulled the chopsticks apart with a snap.

"Maybe write a bad review online," Scarface said. Sugino gritted his teeth. "Come on! Bring out the grub, son."

"Of course, " I said politely, turning on my heel to head to the kitchen. I even added an Asuna-style skirt swish. "It'll be out in just a moment." Passing Kanzaki, I smirked at her. She smiled back.

Before too much longer, the noodles were ready and sitting in front of Scarface. "Our signature dish, acorn noodles," Okuda said.

"Woah, this looks great!" the cross-eyed thug exclaimed, staring at the menu and shaking in place. His orange-haired pal was clutching the menu in his hands, panting like a starving dog. "Uh, hey, Ryuki, would it be okay if I get a Mont Blanc too?"

"Uh, dude, I gotta try the shmoked fish, pretty please?" Dog panted.

"Knock it off, your stupid is showing!" Ryuki shouted at them.

Grumbling to himself, he sat back and dunked the noodles in the broth, swirling them around. I could read his plan clear on his face; he'd eat the mouthful of noodles, then immediately claim they were disgusting and gross. It was obvious, really, in the way he sat and chewed the noodles like he had a personal grudge against them.

Of course, his dastardly plan... It was all for naught.

His eyes widened with shock. As tears started to stream down his face, he cried out, "It's... delicious!"

"Originally, we were going to do a more detailed reaction," Fuwa said, eyes calculating, "but the written form just isn't very good for that sort of thing. It'd need to be in an anime or a manga or something."

I just stared at her. "You really _are_ nuts."

"Says the boy dressed like a girl. How's that manicure treating you?"

"Touché."

"Not bad, right?" Muramatsu asked, grinning at them from the kitchen. "I spent like a solid week researching and refining the recipe. The noodles are made from acorns, thickened with grated yam. The flavor was _super_ earthy, though, so I went with a rich dipping broth. Turned out to be a perfect balance. It was hard work, lemme tell ya," he laughed, "but the end product is tonkatsu soy sauce acorn noodles fit for a king!"

The one with a goatee slurped up some more noodles. "No kidding," he said. "I ain't never tasted nothing like it."

Oh, my poor language, how you've been mistreated in that last sentence. It pains my heart to hear. "For Muramatsu, it's kind of a miracle," Itona said, dipping noodles while staring at the feed from his drone. He was just casually sitting at the tables. "Well, so much for blandness being his selling point."

"Hey! Itona! Shut up and get back to work!" Muramatsu shouted. Eh, the kid was watching the feed from the drone he had spying on A Class, our main competitors. I feel he's in the clear.

"Woah, this stuff is the bomb!" Cross-Eyes slobbered. "We should try everything!"

"Let's do the slender Caesar mushroom next!" Dog yelped.

"You're supposed to say it tastes like crap! Dumbasses." Ryuki shouted, slamming his hands on the table. Oops. Bad play there, friend.

"Oh... Oh dear." The soft feminine voice drew the attention of the high school thugs, and I glanced over to see Professor Bitch standing there, posing subtly. "Aw... you boys don't like any of the food my students have prepared for you?"

"What a hottie!" the high school boys shouted. Blood was dripping from their noses.

"No, no," Ryuki said hurriedly. "It's amazing!"

Professor Bitch smiled. "Really?" She leaned over their table, seemingly oblivious to the way their eyes gravitated towards her breasts. "Then might I recommend the Persimmon-Loquat Gelatin?" She rubbed the picture on the menu. "The texture is as soft as my skin."

"Yes ma'am!"

Professor Bitch waved a hand. "And why stop there? Try the whole menu?" She reached out and traced a finger down Ryuki's scar. "It would make me so _very_ happy..."

"Hmhmhm... I need more cash," Ryuki said. Wow, he fell under her thrall fast.

She leaned in close. "There's an ATM at the station," she whispered sensuously. "You can pull out all the cash you need..."

Instantly, the five thugs were dashing down the hill towards the station. "Be right back!"

"Okay~, I'll be waiting!" Professor Bitch called out, waving goodbye.

Nagisa looked at the dust cloud they left in their wake. "Not ideal, but I guess it's a start," he said.

"I'm just impressed they have the money for it," I said, twirling a strand of hair around my finger. "After all, I stole all their cash before."

Still, with Yada at the bottom drawing in customers and Professor Bitch at the top, that was a double-strike of... what's the word... ah, right, seductive. A good combo of seductive women. Their master-disciple tag team was devastating.

Still, we really didn't have that many customers, despite our best attempts. Sugaya did the poster, and Okajima finally made himself useful taking pictures of the food dishes; with Hazama writing the descriptions on the menu, the masterful web page Mimura wrote up, and our unique ingredients, we had all the ways to attract customer interest we could want. "Itona," I called out, seeing the boy starting to head up to the roof where Korosensei was imitating a golden statue. "What's the update on A Class?" He gestured over to the roof, and I followed him up the ladder.

I was below him, of course. Asuna and Sugu would have been furious with me if I'd gone up the ladder first.

"Remember, it's just day one," Korosensei was saying. "The battle is just getting started."

As we reached the roof, Itona said, "If my recon is correct, A Class is better at pulling in customers."

I let my eyes go distant as I racked my memories. "They're doing... something called an Event Café, whatever that is," I said, tilting my head and placing a finger on my cheek. "From the few cameras I managed to sneak into the gym, they've got some weird set up where the stage is in the center of the gym, separated by a divider. After each show, the act changes and starts playing on the other side of the divider, so if people want to watch the next show they have to leave and pay the entry fee again. A fee that is," I added, adjusting my glasses, "higher than usual, which they can get away with because the food and drinks are free. They're just charging admission, which _wasn't_ covered by the rules."

I had to admit it, as little as I wanted to do so, but Asano was pretty damn good when it came to these things. I've checked in from time to time, and he had comedians, idol groups, and basically everything he could get his hands on. Plus, Asano himself performed on stage, playing heavy metal guitar with the rest of the Big Five backing him up. He was so talented it was almost disgusting.

"Wow, their band's performance is so good," Kimura said, staring at the feed from my phone. "Can we really sell more than these guys?"

Of course, once I got my phone back, I flicked through the camera feeds again just to make sure I wasn't missing another trap like the one the high school kids had begun to spring. As I saw the latest batch of customers heading up the mountain, though, I grinned and hopped off the roof.

"Ah hah! There you are, Nagisa!" a young voice called out.

Unfortunately, Nagisa was taking an order at the moment, and I bumped his shoulder. "I got this," I said. "Go say hello to Sakura and the others." He shot me a grateful smile before heading off to say hello to the kids from the daycare. "Sorry about that, sir," I said to the customer with a practiced smile. "My name's Amelia. I'll take your order now."

After delivering the order to the kitchens, I went over to say hello myself. Nagisa had been Sakura's private tutor for a while, but I swung by every now and then to make sure the kids didn't have any questions that Nagisa couldn't handle. It helped that they seemed to enjoy when I read the books to them. "When your personal tutor asks you to try out their restaurant," Sakura was saying, leaning against Nagisa's stomach while Kataoka watched, "you don't really have a choice."

"Good business strategy," Maehara said approvingly as he, Kayano, and Kanzaki joined us. "With this bunch, we'll make bank on volume alone."

"It's the enemy of all women," one of the little girls whispered, pointing to Maehara. Aw, what sweet kids. They even remember what I told them.

"Wah!" another girl said, tugging on the hem of my sweater. "Nick, you look really pretty! You should dress like this next time you come to visit!"

I laughed and picked her up. "Thanks, I guess, but this is just for today," I said.

"Aww..."

Mr. Matsukata smiled. "Sorry we don't have deeper pockets," he said, "but we're here."

After they were served, the kids dug in with gusto. "Oh my!" Mr. Matsukata exclaimed after taking a bite of the noodles. "This is superb!"

"Something so tasty is bound to sell out before long!" Sakura said, smiling up at Nagisa. She was almost finished with her food.

"It's been kind of a struggle, actually," Nagisa admitted. "Cooking it is one thing, but getting the word out there is another."

"Really?" Sakura asked. "I wouldn't worry too much, though. You guys have, like, this mysterious power, y'know?"

Mr. Matsukata looked up at us after patting the head of the kids tugging on his shirt. I was holding one of the young girls, who'd thrown her arms around my neck, but the rest of them were super wound up. "Of course!" the principal said. "Keep doing what you do, and word will get out. Let your customer base find you!"

Nagisa looked surprised by the nugget of wisdom the principal had bestowed on us. Still, the old man had a point. Before long, the kids and their chaperones were all finished with the dishes they'd ordered. "Thanks again!" the kids shouted, waving as they headed back down the hill.

I was busy helping Nagisa carry the dishes from their meal into the kitchen when Nakamura started walking by us. "I'm just gonna come out and say it," the blonde girl said to Nagisa. "Uh... I, uh, heard all about your mom. And why your hair's long. I'm sorry I teased you so much," she said, looking away. "Honestly, I never meant to hurt your feelings, Nagisa."

Nagisa waved his hands quickly. "No, no," he said, waving away the worry from Nakamura's face. "We're all good. I can take a little ribbing from you, Karma, or Nick. It's no big deal."

Outside, Maehara was talking to some woman with a charming smile on his face. Okano was watching from a distance, arms folded in irritation. Heh. That's gonna be good for some fun eventually.

"Oh, good," Nakamura said with relief. "But I'll go a little easier on you from here on out."

"WHASSUP!"

It was hilarious to watch Nagisa _immediately_ blanch at the loud voice calling out. Hey, I recognize that voice. It's missing the bass thumping as a counterpoint, but sure enough, when I checked outside Yuji was waving as he walked up to our shop. Idly twirling a knife in my hands, just like Asuna, I grinned and sat back to watch the show.

"Nagisaaaa!" Yuji called out. "Long time no see!"

"No!" Nagisa shouted. "No, not Yuji!"

Nakamura leaned over. "Do you know him?" she asked. I glanced at her, and she looked at me; I guess seeing _me_ dressed as a girl sparked her memories, because a sly grin slipped onto her face. "Oh, wait, that guy from summer vacation! The one who thought you were a chick and _totally_ had a thing for you."

Yuji approached us, and I watched him get closer. His eyes glanced at me, and he proceeded to ignore me. I guess I _did_ look a little different, and it wasn't like my hairstyle was distinctive like Nagisa's. Besides, I was just 'Miss Nagisa's bodyguard', after all. "How... How'd you find out where I went to school?" Nagisa asked.

Yuji grinned. "It was easy! I just looked up the island's guest registry. Uh, I've kinda been stalking you online, and I saw the big autumn festival."

I watched as Nakamura knelt down and started fiddling with Nagisa's belt, humming to herself. "Um, okay," Nagisa said. He glanced back at Nakamura, then went back to Yuji - and then blushed bright red, yelping, "Hey, Nakamura! What the- stop!"

Wow. She was _good_. It took her like all of thirty seconds to slip out of her skirt, remove Nagisa's pants, put the skirt on _him_ , and then pull his pants up around her waist. "Okay, I promise," she said, adjusting the pants, "this is the last time for real."

"We just had a conversation about this!" Nagisa shouted. Heh. Now there's three of us crossdressing today. Maybe I was on to something after all...

"The kid is loaded, isn't he?" Nakamura whispered, smiling like a cat. "So come on, don't be shy. We have to raise our customer average any way we can."

Nagisa just grumbled under his breath, looking out the window blankly.

"Take one for the team, Nagisa!" Nakamura exclaimed happily. "Like it or not, the fate of this enterprise rests on your skills as a hostess!" Then she kicked him out the window.

"Wah!" he yelped.

As Nagisa and Yuji wandered off to the side of the clearing, probably so that they could be alone - and so that Nagisa wouldn't be seen by the rest of the class, I turned to Nakamura. "You're gonna go help him out, right?"

"Yeah, yeah, I'm on it," she said with a casual shrug. "Cue cards should work, right, _Amelia_?"

I shrugged. "Say what you will, Okano has a point, the skirt is very easy to move around in. I still prefer pants, of course, but no complaints here. And yeah, cue cards should work." My smirk widened. "Have some fun with it for me, will you? My break's up, and I'm heading down to check out the competition for myself.

"Sure thing!" Nakamura gave me a jaunty salute and wandered off, humming to herself.

After letting the others know I was off on my break and that I'd be back in a half hour, I wandered down the mountain with a small smile on my face. I had half a mind to go and bother Nagisa, but honestly he could probably deal with Yuji better if I wasn't hanging over his shoulder. So, down to the main campus I go.

I checked the time. Let's see... Five minutes up and down the hill, and I have an hour to explore the festival... Then I have to leave when I have ten minutes left, since it'll take me five minutes to reach the hill from wherever I end up. Got it. "Hey, Ritsu, mind giving me an alarm when I have ten minutes left?"

My phone let out a little beep as I looked at it. Ritsu appeared, wearing the usual uniform. No cosplay for her today, I guess. "Okay, Nick - Oh! You look very cute today."

I giggled, twirling a lock of hair around one of my fingers. "Thanks, Ritsu, but it's not really my doing. You should give the compliment to the other girls, not me."

Ritsu giggled and waved to me before my screen went blank again.

"You're one of the E Class kids, right? I recognize the uniform." I blinked and looked at the man who was speaking with me. He was wearing a beanie and had red sunglasses over his eyes. The combination of the rifle slung over his shoulder and the restrained bloodlust he was giving off told me this was one of the assassins that had taken a shot at Korosensei.

"Yes sir," I said. "How can I help you?"

"Well, little lady, do you think your teacher would mind if I picked up a little present on my way up?" He patted his gun, and I'm pretty sure he wanted to go hunting.

Honestly, I'm just surprised he thought I was a girl. Then again, I guess bloodlust isn't gender specific, he'd probably never seen me before, and the girls _had_ done a good job with the hair extensions and makeup. "Sure!" I said, smiling at him. "I don't think he'd mind."

The assassin nodded. "Alright, got it." With a jaunty wave, he disappeared off to the side of the path.

Well, that was fun. Wonder who that guy was.

As I wandered the main campus, I really wasn't that impressed. Most of the lower classes had put effort into their stands, of course, but they weren't like ours at all. They were just variations of the usual themes; even the Creative Bento was a little bit of a disappointment.

Huffing to myself, I made my way to the A Class café. From what I'd seen, the shows Asano had lined up were definitely impressive, and the food _was_ free... Heheh, I'm totally gonna shark them for as much free food as possible.

After I paid my entry, I walked into the cafeteria. Having basic comprehension of how this system worked, I chose the side that _didn't_ have the show going; if I didn't, I'd only see half of the show and then have to pay more to see the next show. Plus, this way, things weren't as packed and I got to grab a table to myself. But yeah, I was grudgingly impressed by the professional atmosphere. As irritating as Asano was, he knew how to throw a festival.

I ordered some food and drink - just some noodles and water, nothing fancy to start with though I'd ramp up the orders quickly - and settled back. By the sounds I could hear on the other side, some comedian was wrapping up his routine, and that by extension meant I was going to get to hear the next act pretty soon.

It turned out it was some idol group making their school festival debut; they were good dancers and singers, but my sisters were definitely cuter. There was this one time where they had to dance and sing as part of a quest in Alfheim, and that was amazing to watch, if only because Rika was super self-conscious about it the whole time. Hah... That look on her face when she realized Kazuto and I had been watching everything was great.

Even if they didn't compare to my sisters, that didn't stop the music from being good, and I was tapping along with the beat.

Before too much longer, though, I had to leave; my phone vibrated, and when I glanced at it I sighed to see Ritsu holding up a ringing alarm clock, smiling at me ruefully. Darn... I was hoping to hear Asano play, if only because I wanted to see how talented he actually was. I played instruments, so it was professional curiosity.

On my way up the hill, I walked past Yuji, who was on his way down. His head was hanging low, eyes vacant, but when he caught sight of me his expression brightened. "You're... that girl, right? Nagisa's bodyguard?" he asked. I nodded. "Man... To think I was fooled, all this time."

"Oh, Nagisa told you he was a guy, didn't he?" I asked. When Yuji nodded, I shook my head. "Well, you had to find out sometime."

Yuji grinned at me tentatively. "Hey, since I'm here, wanna-"

I put my hands together cutely and tilted my head. "Sorry, my name's Nick. And I'm a dude." I think I heard an audible cracking sound. That was probably his sanity.

Heh. Now I know why Kazuto does it in GGO.

When I reached the top, smoothing my skirt from the climb, my eyes scanned over the customers and I raised an eyebrow. That was... an awful lot of people who really shouldn't be there. Assassins, one and all, definitely. I recognized Gun, Poisoner, and Grip among the customers, too. A shiver ran down my spine as I walked towards the back of the building, and I felt eyes watching me. I didn't feel any presence nearby, but with the skills of the assassins here, that was hardly surprising. "Can I help you, sir?" I said, turning to the bushes. "I'm afraid that you'll have to take a seat if you would like to be served."

With a chuckle, Lovro melted out of the shadows. "Well done, boy," he said. "Sensing my gaze is impressive." He stopped, looking at me, and then nodded. "The look in your eyes is better now," he finally declared.

Uh... okay, then. I waved goodbye as the information broker disappeared again, then went back to my job. We had customers to serve, after all.

The next day, I was finally back in my regular clothes; not that the skirt wasn't cute, but I didn't want to wake up early more often than I had to. Plus, Kataoka had determined that I'd suffered enough for my earlier teasing, so I was off the hook for that. The class members I was walking with - Nagisa, Mimura, Kurahashi, Maehara, and Hayami - were all looking depressed, and I couldn't blame them. Nagisa and I had stopped by the sales report posted around the main campus before heading up, which was, in retrospect, a mistake.

"Hah," Kurahashi sighed. "Well, I suppose our first day went _sorta_ okay."

"They posted the sales report earlier," Mimura reminded her. "At this rate, we don't have a snowball's chance in hell of catching up to A Class."

Nagisa's expression seemed clouded, and there really wasn't anything I could do about it. He'd told me how he'd admitted everything to Yuji, and while the boy apparently was in denial for a while Nagisa finally got through to him. The kid ran off, which was when I ran into him going down the mountain.

The scuff of running feet from behind us caught our attention, and we stepped to the side as... what? "Pick up the pace!" a man shouted, racing up the mountain with microphone in hand. Another guy followed him, with a camera on his shoulder. "We'll miss the morning broadcast!"

"Is that..." Mimura began.

My eyebrows raised. "A TV crew? Pretty sure," I said. "Look like the ones that bugged me in the past."

"I don't get it, what are they covering?" Kurahashi said.

"The only thing up there is the E Class building," Nagisa said.

I frowned. "This might be a problem. Shall we go figure out what's going on?"

We hurried up the mountain - and then came to a dead halt as we took in the _huge_ line of people standing there and waiting in line to be seated. "What the _fuck_ ," I said in disbelief.

In front of me, Maehara and Mimura chorused, "What the hell?!"

"Look, you guys!" Fuwa exclaimed, running up behind us with her phone out. "Somebody posted an online review that's spreading like wildfire!"

"I did a little digging to try and track down the source," Ritsu said, "and you'll never believe this! It's by Yuji Norita!"

Nagisa and I stared at each other. "You... you heard that, right?" I asked him. "She said Yuji Norita, and I'm not going more insane than usual?"

"That's right! And he happens to be," Ritsu said, the site in question being displayed on Fuwa's phone, "wait for it... The biggest name in the food blogosphere!"

"Erase blogosphere from your dictionary, Ritsu," I said absently as I stared at the page uncomprehendingly. "It's not a real word."

"Yes it is."

"I reject any reality in which blogosphere is a real word."

Fuwa said, "Since he grew up rich, he's tried _everything_ from caviar to crocodile. So the boy's palate, annoyingly enough, is highly developed. He's got a 'Money is no object, I'll try anything' approach. People love it!"

Nagisa took her phone and stared at the screen while I read over his shoulder. "Okay then," he said.

I scanned the article quickly, then frowned. Nagisa, what in the hells did you tell this kid? 'From the right angle, our flaws can be weapons'? How did that turn into this? Nagisa scrolled down a little bit. Turns out, Yuji decided to use his privilege as a weapon to help people find food.

He signed off by telling people there was only one more day to head to our shop, and that they should head up there as soon as possible.

"Damn," I hummed. "One point four million hits and climbing. Alright then." Explains the crowd. At least I was on ingredient retrieval duty today, which made things a lot easier on me. I just had to go up and down the mountain with Okano and Kimura basically constantly instead of serving people.

What a little slice of paradise.

I noticed a few familiar faces in the brief moments while I was catching my breath and grabbing something to drink. Lizard and Fatso were enjoying themselves, as well as a few other students that Kataoka and Maehara seemed to know. The baseball team came up to say hello to Sugino, and I saw Professor Bitch waving happily as a bunch of burly men chowed down. They were probably all military men she'd met, totally infatuated with our bitch of a teacher.

The clientele coming to our shop was ridiculous. I even saw this one kid with pink hair and weird antenna things sticking out of his head. ...Eh, I've seen weirder. Come back when you have cat ears and a tail.

"Uh oh, guys!" Okuda exclaimed suddenly, while Kimura, Okano, and I were trying desperately to recover our stamina. "This isn't good! We're almost out of acorn noodles!"

"We sold a heck of a lot more than I thought we would," Isogai said.

Fuwa pointed out, "Doesn't change the fact that A Class will have made more revenue."

Hara turned around, the knife in her hand gleaming. She was busy chopping up eggplants. "It's okay," she said. "The side menu items have been selling like crazy too. I say in the time we have left we should just stick with them."

Okano, Kimura and I were dirty and exhausted, but Kimura gave the chefs a weak grin. "We can go a little deeper into the forest in the forest if we need," he panted out. Okano was bent in double to catch her breath, and I was busily guzzling water to sooth my parched throat. "Pad our ingredient reserves."

"Hm," the large acorn on the lecturer's podium said. Of course, it was Korosensei, taking a disguise form so he could watch over all of us without being discovered by the regular customers. To them, it'd just a neat little decoration. "No, I think it best to stop here," he said, making an X with two tentacles.

"But sir, if we do that," Nagisa protested, "we won't win."

"Perfectly alright," Korosensei assured him and the rest of us. "Any more foraging and we run the risk of upsetting the mountain's delicate ecosystem." Kurahashi hummed in thought, hand on her chin. "We're _all_ interconnected," the octopus-acorn continued. "Every action resonates through the web of life. Can you feel it, boys and girls?" he asked, standing up and making a double circle with his tentacles. "The intricate bonds of shared fate, of lives that have been touched. People who've taught you. People you've helped. People who've caused you trouble. People you've caused trouble for. Unlikely friendships, bitter rivalries! We're all part of one another."

"Ah hah..." Okano laughed, rubbing the back of her head. "So today was just another lesson all along..."

I groaned, throwing my head back. Well, I'm glad I don't have to jump around like a monkey anymore. "Aw man," Muramatsu complained, grinning, "and I really wanted to win this thing."

Unfortunately, we had to start shutting down; we were just entirely out of food. Out of habit, I flicked through the camera feeds again - a few got knocked down, I'd have to go pick them up later this evening - and I suddenly snorted. "Hey, Nagisa," I said. "Better get on out there, you have a customer."

"Uh, okay," the boy said, looking confused. He obeyed, though.

The rest of the class and I watched through the classroom window as Nagisa's mom walked up the hill, stopping in front of the school. Yada had been bringing the signs in, and she turned around with a smile. "Sorry," the ponytailed girl said. "We're all sold out."

That was when Nagisa walked out. "Mom?" he asked.

We had just enough ingredients left to make her a cup of juice, which Nagisa delivered. "Here you go," the kid said, taking a seat next to her. "Our last Crimson Glory vine juice. It's good."

"Thank you," Ms. Shiota said. As she stared at the juice, she said, "I have to say, this class is really something. I can see why you're passionate about staying."

"Yep."

Ms. Shiota and Nagisa waited for a few seconds, neither one of them saying anything. The silence wasn't exactly comfortable, but it wasn't awkward either. More like the silence between two people that had something to say but didn't know how to say it. "So, uh," Ms. Shiota finally said, "about all the unpleasantness the other evening... Looking back at it now, I knew. My boy's grown up. He's ready to cut the apron strings. That business about graduating from me," she said. "You meant every word. I don't know where you found the strength to say it, but somewhere along the way you got tough."

Nagisa grinned a little bit.

"Just please, for right now," Ms. Shiota said, looking at Nagisa. He looked up in surprise. "Stay with me a little longer. 'Til you're of age? That's all I'm asking. The world will be yours soon enough." She lowered her head and smiled at the tabletop. "I'm not ready to let go of my baby just yet. Nagisa... Whatever else I may be, I'm still your mother."

The two of them smiled at each other. Everyone watching from inside the building grinned at the display of affection between the two. It's good that they made up, y'know?

Karasuma entered the room behind us, and I turned to look at him. "Hey," he said to Korosensei. The octopus looked his way; Korosensei must have been off in his own world, to be surprised by Karasuma's entrance. "Nagisa's mother just apologized to me. Apparently she tried to start a fire?"

What. Well, I guess it explains that burnt patch of grass. "Oh, that," Korosensei said. "Water under the bridge."

"Good enough," Karasuma said. "Now, maybe you could explain what she whispered in my ear." His veins bulged in anger as he suddenly scowled at Korosensei. "She promised she would keep my toupee a secret! What does _that_ mean?!" Korosensei tried to whistle innocently, a difficult task when he was incapable of whistling. With a laugh, he dashed away as Karasuma tried to gut him.

Ah... That toupee thing was still kinda funny, actually. Not that I was going to tell _Karasuma_ that. I didn't want extra harsh training from him. "Talking about destiny," Kayano laughed as our teacher bounced around the room. Were we talking about destiny? Oh right, the whole lecture from Korosensei.

Karma grinned. "Those two must be soulmates, with how they're so involved with each other."

The next day, we didn't open our stall at all. The day after that, the rankings were posted. Naturally, A Class placed first, beating even the high school in profits. I mean, it's Asano, what did anyone expect? Surprisingly enough, we came in third.

I was walking through the halls to visit the school library; my bookshelf back home was great and all, but the algorithm for selecting books seemed to be a little random at times. I wanted to see if the library had one of the sequels to a book I'd read and enjoyed, since my bookshelf stubbornly refused to stock the darn thing.

"So, did you go visit?" some kid asked another, looking at the class profit rankings posted in the hall.

His friend replied, "After all the hype they were getting on TV? How could I not?"

As I passed more classrooms, I could hear more people gossiping about E Class's unprecedented success. "I don't get it, man," one kid said. "I thought being in Class E was supposed to be punishment!"

His friend laughed. "But they're all, like, doing really well for themselves. I'm actually a little bit jealous!"

I couldn't help but smirk to myself for a second. We were pulling down this school's system around the principal's ears one brick at a time, and I couldn't be happier. After all... he was the one who made the mistake of looking at me like I was an _insect_.

Honestly, shutting down for the second and third days was even _better_ than the profits we could have made. If we'd been up the whole time, we probably still would have lost to A Class, who'd been on fire right from the start; but this way, we had an excuse for why we lost. 'They were shut down for half the festival! They might have been able to beat A Class otherwise!' That thought would be bouncing around the minds of the students, and I loved it. It was the realization of what I had prepared for our finals last semester.

Smoothing the smirk off my face, I kept walking on my way to the library.

I passed Principal Asano standing in the hall. His eyes were cold and dark, even while he was smiling placidly, and the feeling of hatred I got from him as I passed by was... intimidating. Like a centipede wriggling around and skittering over my neck.

Hah... Ominous.

* * *

 **The school festival! It's not a failure, but not a victory either. Just kinda… another step on the road for E Class.**

 **The first bit I adapted from the manga chapters, since the anime just skipped over where the ingredients came from. I like E Class having more agency than what Korosensei gave them in the show, so I decided to show them collecting the ingredients instead of just having him give them the goods.**

 **After that, the school festival! Yes, Nick was in drag for the first day, but he never cares about this. It's just Kataoka's way of getting him back for the way he teased her; he jabbed at her and she retaliated, exactly the way he prefers it. And remember, he doesn't really mind crossdressing all that much. He made a small joke at her expense, she had a small joke at his expense (Plus it let me have some fun with breaking Yuji even further.). It also fulfils my contractual obligation to have Nick crossdress at least once every story. And we can see more evidence of Nick the Good Parent, which is really surprising to me, I'm not entirely sure where that personality trait came from.**

 **(it's worth noting, even though it'll probably never be relevant, that nick's appearance in the stl machines is more androgynous than his real-life appearance. he doesn't put much priority on his appearance, so his soul just kinda went *shrug* and gave him a blend of feminine and masculine facial features, though obviously he's still male.)**

 **The thing about this chapter is, most of it is a small breather between the drama of the Reaper arc and what's coming up next, so not much really happens. And since this is from Nick's point of view, he's just having fun. The only thing he learned here was how he looked as a schoolgirl, not what Nagisa and Yuji talked about during their little meeting. I wish I could have had Nick there to laugh at Karma's and Nakamura's signs (that elephant is hilarious) but it was better for him to head into the main campus. I also wanted him to meet with Asano while dressed as a girl, if only to mess with the kid's mind, but that also didn't happen.**

 **And in the end, E Class won a small moral victory by shutting down for the afternoon of the second day. Kunugigaoka's system is breaking down around them and Nick is loving every second of it.**

 **Many thanks to everyone that favorited, followed, or reviewed.**


	11. End of Term Time - 2nd Period

**Chapter 11: End of Term Time / 2nd Period**

* * *

The morning sky was covered with grey, heavy clouds, and the inside of the E Class classroom was smelling damp, but Korosensei was up at the podium, smiling and bright yellow like always.

"Okie-dokie," he said cheerfully, "time for an overview of what we've covered this year. I hope you're all ready for classwork battle!" He raised a tentacle. "I assume you'll be aiming for the top spot, Karma?"

Karma just grinned and leaned back in his chair. "I dunno," he said lightly. "Idiots like me have trouble getting their heads around the hard stuff."

"And you, Nick?" Korosensei asked.

I grinned easily and stretched out indolently, draping my arms over the desk and letting my stomach rest against the front. "Well, maybe," I said. "I'll get what I get, of course. But, who knows. Maybe I'll do okay."

Korosensei nodded as the number 50 appeared on his forehead. "Now then. As you know, for the first-term midterms, I gave you all the objective of placing in the top 50." Karma and I succeeded, but the rest of the class failed that challenge thanks to Principal Asano pulling a Principal Asano and pushing more information onto the test at the last second. "My apologies for that. I was too impatient for results; nor, did I take into account how gifted your opponents were. That said, things are different now. You've matured in mind and spirit. I'm confident that the goal I set for you will be within reach, whatever the opposition has in store."

I glanced around the classroom; of the people I could see, everyone was fired up and ready to go. Even Ritsu, who hadn't been present for the initial failure, was pumped up, clenching her hands adorably with a headband around her forehead. Instead of the students slumping forward, almost resigned to their failure, everyone was sitting tall with their back straight.

Man, now I might actually have to _try_ , if only so I don't disappoint them all.

"This time," Korosensei said, "you'll place in the top fifty, win your tickets back to the main campus, and, heads held high, proudly graduate from E Class once and for all!"

"Uh," Sugino said hesitantly, "you make it sound so easy." We all turned to look at him. "A Class has a new teacher to help 'em prep. And you're not going to believe who it is."

...No. He wouldn't waste the time to...

Nah, this is Principal Asano we're talking about. He'd spare no expense to make sure A Class comes out on top and proves his system right. Teaching lessons? He'd go right ahead and do it. The final boss of the Kunugigaoka Junior High School has finally appeared, it seems.

"So, we've come to that, have we?" Korosensei mused, bringing a tentacle to his chin.

"Bad luck for them, right?" Mimura sighed. "Who'd want to be brainwashed by _that_ creep, right? You guys know what I'm talking about. The way he can trap you with that steely-eyed glare..."

"His teaching methods are hard-core," Sugino said. I smiled slightly as I watched Korosensei gnaw on a handkerchief nervously. I forgot, he buys into the hype, that's one of his weaknesses.

"And he can't even move at Mach 20!" Sugaya added. Up front, Korosensei shivered in abject fear and let out a quiet scream into his handkerchief.

"If he's the one prepping them for the exams," Isogai said, "they've probably already lost the will to defy him."

I rolled my eyes. They make it sound like the principal is gonna just... I dunno, literally brainwash the students into being infernal engines of hate and destruction or something. That's possible, yeah, I saw him do it to Shindo back when we played baseball, but I doubt he'd be able to do it to an entire class with only a few weeks to prepare.

Y'know what, I'll even make a bet with myself for no real adequate reason beyond boredom. If he _does_ manage to brainwash the entire class, I'll, uh... Hm. I'll probably just suffer the embarrassment of knowing I was wrong? Sure, sounds good.

The rest of the class was entirely review, with Korosensei going over the material that we should expect to be on the tests. It was _almost_ boring, like every other review day ever, but Korosensei somehow managed to keep my interest the entire time. It was uncanny; if anything, that was his _real_ superpower. Forget going Mach 20 and being a super-creature that was basically unkillable, he's able to teach middle school students and keep their attention during review sessions.

Unfortunately, I'm going to be going through this every day until the finals arrive, so I guess I should get used to it. At least it's not new material up until the last minute, which would be extra rude and no fun at all.

After classes, a large group of us were walking down the hill together. I'm not really sure why, but the atmosphere of the near-rainy day just made it feel more comfortable to be in a group. "When you think about it, Korosensei and the principal are kinda similar in a lot of ways," Fuwa said conversationally as we walked through the main campus.

Maehara looked at her. "Really? Like how?"

Fuwa nodded. "Well, for starters, they both have, like, extraordinary powers, and yet they settle for being teachers. Seriously, as manipulative as he is, the principal could have been prime minister, or a business tycoon, or something."

I snorted. "Everyone knows that politicians don't have brains," I said. Beside me, Terasaka grumbled under his breath. Weird. "I could totally see Principal Asano running the mafia, though. He seems like the Godfather type."

"Yeah! But here he is," Fuwa said, "totally devoting himself to this place. I mean, it's no wonder he's such a ruthless guy." She has a point. I can't really begin to understand the principal's deeper motivations, but one does have to wonder why exactly he's just staying here. The man was undeniably brilliant, and this position just seemed restrictive.

Of course, Nick, let's be smart about this. It's basic human nature to be greedy, so if Principal Asano wasn't reaching for the feast in front of him and contenting himself with just this small meal, he had to have another reason. Something keeping him tied to this place.

Interesting, if irrelevant. Whatever his reasons for staying on as principal are, knowing them won't help me place higher in the exams.

"Huh?" Kayano said suddenly. "I-It's Asano!"

I glanced ahead and sure enough, the top student in the class was waiting outside the gymnasium, leaning against the pillar. He had his bag with him, so... he wasn't in class? That's weird, though. Why would Principal Asano kick his best student out of class?

"What the hell do you want?" Maehara asked bluntly. "Your lackeys too busy to do recon on us?"

Asano didn't rise to the bait. He just stepped away from the wall and faced us. "It pains me, that I have to say this," he growled, right hand clenched and shaking, "but I have a favor to ask of you."

Oh? My head tilted to the side slightly as my lips curled into an interested smirk. What's this, what's this? The proud, mighty Asano, coming to E Class? My, my. What _was_ the world coming to? Beside me, Karma made a little noise of interest.

I realized my eyes were fully open, now.

"Let me just cut to the chase," Asano said. "The principal... I need you people to kill him."

The rest of the class seemed shocked. Of course, my first instinct was to ask whether he had any preference on the method, and if he wanted anyone implicated in the crime, but I managed to catch myself before I blurted out a question that might seem a little... bloodthirsty. Especially around my classmates.

"So to speak," Asano continued, staring at the ground. Aw, damn, no fun at all? "I don't mean something like murdering him, of course." I clicked my tongue in irritation. Then I realized a few of the E Class members were looking at me strangely and I gave them a weak smile. I can't help it! I'd been trained for years to kill first, ask questions later. "That would be patently absurd. I mean you should kill his philosophy."

"Absurd, yeah," I laughed weakly. None of the others seemed to buy it. "Of course, it's just his philosophy..."

"I'm not sure I understand," Yada said to him. "How exactly?"

Asano raised his head and waved a hand. "It's easier than you think. All E Class has to do is dominate the top spots on the end of term exams. It goes without saying that I'll be placing highest," he said, pressing his hand on his chest.

"Y'know, I just love the casual arrogance, there," I said. "Really, I mean it." He even said it like it was an absolute fact. I could respect that kind of confidence in his skills.

"Of course, whether or not I perform as expected makes no difference," Asano continued. "For detritus like you to show up A Class, however? Now that'd be a slap in the face to his policies." Karma let out a little chuckle, echoed by my own. The rest of the class wasn't so amused by his insults, though.

Kataoka said, "Alright, look. We all know the relationship between the two of you isn't really the best. But he's your dad! You want to rake his life's work through the mud, to reject his legacy?" Honestly, she probably meant that to be a rebuke, but I think I was on Asano's side on this one. Fuck the principal. And fuck shitty fathers, too.

"Oh, on the contrary," Asano said proudly, straightening his back. "Believe it or not, my father actually wants me to take him down. That's what I've been groomed to do. This will be the fulfillment of his legacy." So... like lions, who eventually challenge the king of the pride and take over? Or, no, wait, don't the young males get driven off and start their own prides?

Hahhh. The animal kingdom just doesn't support these kinds of metaphors, I guess.

He continued, "That's how we are. That's what our relationship is BUILT on. Then again," he said, lowering his head to stare absently at the ground, "if you didn't know the pleasure of being raised by him... let me assure you his methods are hell on earth. ...The only thing supporting A Class right now is their hatred of _you_. He's pushing them past their limits. If it raises them to victory, my father's methods will be the only thing they trust from here on out."

I glanced over at the main building. It was... ominous, I think would be the best way to describe it. Like the malevolent aura of a massive centipede curling around the school.

"You can't let that happen," Asano told us, staring at his hand. "Hatred only gets you so far. I know this for a fact. Scorning one's enemies is childish. My flunkies need to learn a healthy respect for their foes. Otherwise, their strength will be lopsided and I'll only ever be second in command. The thing about defeat... is that it gives you perspective. So I'm asking you, give the teacher a lesson. Let them all know what it is to lose."

Then, solemnly, he bowed to us.

I folded my arm and cradled my elbow, my other hand supporting my chin. Oh? This is _interesting_. Asano is swallowing his pride and asking us to destroy his classmates. His words were arrogant, obviously, but I could tell they weren't just lip service. He was actually worried about his classmates.

"Hah!" Karma laughed, standing over Asano and leering down at him. I just sighed and rubbed at my forehead. Oh, my gods... "That's big of you and all, but let me tell you right now - _I'm_ actually gonna be the one to take the top spot! And Nick's coming in second." He stuck his tongue out mockingly at the A Class boy.

Karma. Karma, can you stop being so Karma for just one gods damn day. Please.

Asano scowled, and the rest of the class just sighed in resignation. Yeah, we all saw this coming.

"What'd I say?" Karma taunted Asano, staring at the A Class boy. Asano had straightened up from his bow to glare at Karma. "I said next time, we weren't gonna be taking it easy on you. Prepare to surrender your throne, Highness, you're going down. Oh, don't worry, though!" he said brightly. "You'll look just as good in tenth place."

"Uh oh!" Muramatsu said with a grin. "Guess the gloves are off now."

Takebayashi adjusted his glasses. "Just don't let it turn out like last time, please," he said.

"Don't oversell it, man," Terasaka said, rubbing Karma's shoulders. The red-head blushed with remembered embarrassment. "Just try to do better than me."

Eyes flat, Karma turned and grabbed Terasaka's shoulders before driving his knee into the bigger boy's stomach. Repeatedly.

Eh, better Terasaka than me. I wanted to say basically all of that; good thing everybody else got their jabs in before me, so that Karma blamed _them_.

"Asano," Isogai said. I was more interested in counting the number of times Karma drove his knee into Terasaka's chest. "We've been working our butts off to win all along," he said, stepping forward. Off to the side, Karma let Terasaka drop. Ten times, a nice round number. "Just like you guys have. When you get right down to it, everyone's on the same side. We're stoked when we win, frustrated when we lose... No need for ranks beyond that. That really should be enough, right?" he asked. "E Class will strive to do the best we can. That way A Class will have an opponent they can be proud to face."

I just sighed and rolled my eyes. A Prince Charming he may be, but sometimes his motivational speeches tended to swing a bit on the sappy side. "Don't overthink it, just bring it on," Karma said. Grinning with the lust for battle, he drew his finger across his neck. "Try to make it fun, okay? Come at us like you want us dead," he hissed.

Asano smirked, baring his teeth. "How amusing!" he said. "Very well, I'll fight with my gloves off too."

I chuckled as the A Class boy walked away. This... This was starting to be _interesting_. I'd - we'd been offered a challenge, and it was time to rise to the occasion. This was going to be...

I realized I was smiling with battle lust myself and laughing a quiet, breathy laugh.

Before too much longer, there was only one week left until the second term finals. Everyone in E Class was studying like crazy as the Korosensei speed clones dashed around to tutor us. Anything we didn't understand, we could have Korosensei go over; like that, I managed to secure my strengths and shore up my weaknesses.

Of course, there was really only one Korosensei. He tried his best, but there were so many of us that his afterimages started to, uh... get sloppy. I squinted at Korosensei's head... Is that the Evolution of Man? Heh. It is.

There was an aura of tension around the classroom as everyone studied and focused. It made sense; we were putting so much effort into this test, and if we performed poorly then it would be a devastating, possibly permanent blow to E Class's pride. But it was okay. We were going to kill this test, just like we've learned in our assassination classroom. We will use the second blade Korosensei taught us to carry.

...

I jolted awake in the middle of the night, heart pounding. I lunged out of bed, scrabbling for the Nightblade - it wasn't there – my knee hit the carpet and I rotated, clearing my bed and getting my right foot on the ground. My foot slipped as I rose and I _slammed_ my left foot down, shaking the apartment from the impact. And then I froze, hands held in a combat-ready stance, as the sleep fog cleared from my brain and I looked around. I was... in my apartment. This wasn't Aincrad.

I could barely remember the dream I'd been having, but it must have been a bad one, since my heart was trying to jackhammer its way through my ribs and out of my chest. Pressing at my chest lightly, I took deep gulping breaths of air in an attempt to calm down.

It was... fading, but I still had flashes of the dream. The sensation of a massive monster, staring up at me as I fell down towards it - and then its maw opened and snapped shut around me - and then I woke up.

Damn... Haven't had a dream about Aincrad in a long time. I thought I was past them, now.

Standing up and proud I only swayed a little bit, I swallowed and stepped back over to my bed. I patted the sheets and frowned; my shirt had been wet, and as expected the sweat had soaked through into the bed itself. Ugh... and there wasn't anything worse than sleeping in wet sheets. Sighing to myself, I staggered to the shower and turned it on, stripping out of my pajamas sleepily.

Yes. If I can't sleep, then I'll go to school. That makes sense, though maybe it's because I'm super exhausted.

After I took a shower and got dressed, I headed out into the chilly December air, rubbing my arms and letting out a little sneeze. Ergh... Maybe if I start running, it'll warm up. Hey, I can take that route over the rooftops, I think. With another shiver, I slung my bag over my shoulder and started running.

Pushing the door to the E Class classroom to the side, I stepped into the abandoned classroom. At least my jacket kept out the worst of the chill of the heat-less room, though it was by no means comfortable. I took my seat with a yawn and folded my arms on the desk. It was about one in the morning, so I could -

"Nick? What are you doing here?"

I jolted upright and nearly fell out of my seat at Ritsu's unexpected voice. "Gah!" I yelped, staring at her glowing panel. She was dressed in cute polka-dot pajamas and was rubbing her eyes sleepily. "R-Ritsu!" I gasped. "You nearly gave me a heart attack."

"Oh, sorry," she said. "But... you didn't answer my question."

I hesitated, and then shrugged elaborately with a disarming smile. "Woke up early and couldn't fall back asleep? Wanted to come down here? Take your pick, I guess. Don't worry, just go back to sleep."

Ritsu looked at me, and then said, "Alright. Good night."

I kept up the smile until her screen finished turning off, at which point it fell off my face and I sat back down at my desk. If I was going to be here until the morning, might as well be productive about it. I reached into my bag and pulled out my notebook and the small flashlight I'd started carrying around for situations like this, flicked the light on, and settled in to get comfortable.

* * *

Finally, it was the big day. The final showdown. _The final countdo-_

Okay, brain, no. Focus.

E Class was walking to class as a group, mainly because we felt more comfortable together rather than alone, and as we passed A Class's exam from a shiver went down my spine. We all looked their way and my eyes widened at the sheer killing intent and hatred their class was giving off. It was like they were just repeating 'Kill E Class no mercy Kill E Class no mercy' over and over again.

Freaky. No wonder Asano wanted us to help out.

…Wait, the principal brainwashed the entire A Class, which meant I lost my bet with myself, mother _fu-_

"Yeah, not the biggest fan of the look in their eyes," Yoshida said as we all kept walking.

Nakamura smirked slightly. "Ignore 'em, you know they're just psyching themselves up."

I looked back at the window. I think more of them had pressed up against the window, just to keep us in their sights a little bit longer. "Um... I guess, but this is starting to remind me eerily of Psycho," I said, attempting to play on psyching. The 'joke' fell flat, and I sighed. Fuck.

"Think you can beat 'em, Karma? Nick?" Nakamura asked.

"Eh, I dunno," Karma said easily. "I mean, if they're _actually_ planning to kill me, that might slow me down a tad."

I shrugged and shook my head, spreading my arms in elaborate pantomime. "I'll get what I get."

We took our seats and prepared our writing utensils. This was it, the showdown between E and A Class. This was the final battle between us; the loser here would be totally and irrevocably crushed.

The ticking hands of the clock got closer and closer to nine.

Two guilds, led by monsters. I was hungry for battle. Hungry for massacre.

...On paper. Totally. _Just_ on paper.

...

The gates to the sandy, dusty arena opened and I gripped the hammer in my hand tightly. My weapon was a war hammer with a wicked-looking spike on the end, matching the anvil-like head on the other side and the nasty spike on the end of the shaft. The rest of my classmates, gathered with me, prepared for battle. Their weapons weren't as powerful, but they were still strong.

Our opponent? A massive, bipedal lizard-like monster with four arms. Its blue scales seemed even harder than diamond, and the hammer it clutched in two skeletal arms was absolutely gigantic, the head blotting out the sun. Its head was a strange skull with horns adorning it, and gleaming red eyes stared down at me from several stories high.

Hah. Still got nothing on a bone centipede that can kill me in a single blow. You'll have to try harder than that, exam-makers.

With shouts, everyone hoisted their hammer and charged.

Our first exam: English.

I was _bilingual._

The fight started and immediately we were on the defensive; the monster was just so massive that even a single step would send shocks through the sandy coliseum floor, kicking up dust and obscuring our view. It roared before rearing back and beginning to slam its hammer down. Terasaka and a few others had been trying to approach, but at the sight of the attack made them turn and scatter.

I stepped forward, staring up at the descending hammer head.

Step one: comprehend the attack.

I braced myself, standing in the exact center of the plummeting shadow.

Step two: counter precisely, using knowledge and position to minimize force required and maximize force exerted on the opponent.

Instead of holding my hammer over my shoulder normally, I reversed it so that the end of the staff was facing up, with the head of the hammer pointing to the ground. Then, with a grunt and shout, I swung the hammer upwards, meeting the boss's hammer with the head of my own.

Step three: Ensure that speed and accuracy do not falter. Don't waste time and energy, kill it in a single blow.

I nearly dropped my hammer from the force of the impact. It traveled through me and rocked the ground, sending up a massive cloud of sand around me as the other E Class students shouted. My knee nearly buckled.

But I wouldn't be beaten by a middle school test. I rotated my feet and pushed with my might, forcing my hammer to shift upwards and knock the boss's weapon away. Hammer Sword Skill, Rising Crash. One of Liz's favorites.

While I'd held the boss's attention, Nagisa had closed in to the leg. With a shout, he swung at the leg and slammed his hammer into the meat of the Achilles tendon. The boss let out a massive roar from the pain - which distracted it long enough for Nakamura to jump high in the air and bring her hammer down on the monster's head. I stepped to the side casually as a spike broke free with a crash and plummeted, landing point-first in the sand next to me. "Careful," I called out as Nakamura landed lightly next to me.

"You can handle it," she said with a laugh.

"Pencils down!" our proctor finally announced. The boss had been defeated, its hammer bent and broken.

English: Time Up.

Everybody in the classroom finally slumped over in their chairs, totally exhausted from the grueling test we'd just taken. "It's no good," Mimura panted. "I couldn't get through 'em all."

"This is hard," Kurahashi complained. "There's not enough time to answer every single little question."

"The listening comprehension part was a beast," Kimura said, tilting his chair back. "Bet even Professor Bitch wouldn't know what all those vocabulary words meant."

Honestly, the hardest part of the listening comprehension was trying to figure out what the English word even _was_. The accent for the words was particularly thick; fortunately, I was pretty good at figuring out the meaning of a sentence, even if I didn't hear every word perfectly. Comes from a long time of skimming through books and quest dialogue, I guess. What a normally-useless skill.

But... this might be really bad for the others. They were all exhausted from just the first test. Hah... Gotta just keep on keepin' on, I guess.

Our second exam: Social Studies.

The mountainous region was filled with fog, making it difficult to see very far. I gripped the sword in my hand, and spared a smile at it. Heh... Elucidator, buddy, glad to see you again. A shame Kazuto had to leave you behind in Aincrad, but here you are, bailing me out again. Glad you got my back.

As the ground rumbled, heralding the start of the boss fight, Nagisa exclaimed, "What the... Uh oh. Take a look at that!"

I stared up at the mountain he was pointing to, and then tilted my head incredulously. "The fuck even is that," I said flatly as I stared at the boss.

Emerging from behind the mountain, I could almost fool myself into thinking our fight was just a normal tank; at first, all I could see was the massive, main barrel. And then the rest of it came out from behind the mountain. "Woah," Nagisa breathed.

It had no less than six pairs of grey-skinned, grasping hands, which matched the long, stamping legs that on second glance were just more hands _gods damn it_. Seriously, couldn't we just have one relatively normal Social Studies boss? This is ridiculous.

Well, I can take solace that the grade point average on these tests will be ridiculously low. Most people will barely _pass_ , let alone get a good score. Hells, it would be a miracle for us to pass.

From the top of the mountain E Class had chosen as our base of operations, Maehara looked out over the monster. As the main cannon began to swerve towards us, the orange-haired boy jumped and swung his sword down. "Take that!" he snarled as his heavy blow bent the barrel, making its most powerful weapon useless.

I couldn't really wait to see more, since the rest of the turrets and guns and _holy shit that's a minigun_ opened fire on us. Instead, I just laughed as I danced through the bullet storm, grateful for Shino's help back in GGO. This was so much easier than dodging Hecate's bullets!

I approached the monster, weaving through the flying lead, and then dashed forward as I unleashed the Vorpal Strike Sword Skill, severing one of the hands the tank boss was using as a leg and making the boss tilt. Before it could take aim with one of the turrets under its body, I was already dashing away.

Just like that; get in, take the opening, and get out. No wasted time, no getting tripped up on anything tricky.

Social Studies: Time Up.

Our third exam: Bites the Dust – err, Science.

We were back in the arena this time. Our newest boss fight was some massive lich-like monster, with grey plate armor covering its entire body. The large pauldrons on its shoulders had two rib-like structures on each shoulder that wrapped up over its head, projecting the image of some weird ribcage protecting its head. Tacky. Anything resembling skulls, coffins, or bones was just... tacky.

No I'm not holding a grudge against Death Gun and the Laughing Coffin murder guild shut up.

"So, how's A Class doing?" Chiba asked as the boss roared and rampaged, using some weird electrical ball in its hand to send out streaks of yellow lightning that shattered the pillars around it.

"We sneaked a peek at them during the break," Mimura said. The two of them, along with Yada, were running away from the boss's electricity with their staffs clutched in their hands. I was content to just hover in midair, absently batting away any stray bolts coming my way. "And dude, talk about seething!"

From above the boss, madly laughing shadows plummeted down. They weren't even _trying_ to be tactical; this was just a rush of bodies, every man and or woman for themselves. They slammed into the head of the boss, sending it toppling to the side; once each student had a grip, they just started hammering away at the plate armor. They were just bulling through the boss without finding its weak point.

"They were like blood-crazed animals," Mimura continued. "Never underestimate the power of hatred, I guess."

Fortunately, this test was just about over. My weapon this time hadn't changed from the first semester. "I can be shot," the mechanical feminine voice declared.

A smirk spread across my face as I aimed my staff at the boss, a crackling ball of energy at the tip expanding outwards. "Oh. A Class is still up there, banging away. Oh no _what_ a _shame_. Well, casualties of war and all that, totally unavoidable, so on and so forth. Go ahead and fire."

"Let's shoot it!" As the massive ball of energy exploded, enveloping the boss in a massive laser blast, I smirked. When your attack hits _everywhere_ , the exact location of the weak point doesn't really matter, now does it?

Science: Time Up

Our fourth exam: Japanese.

"Forget A Class!" Nakamura yelped. "Just look out!"

We were facing the boss in the arena again; so far, only Social Studies had taken place in a different map. The boss this time was just a massive version of the enemy we'd fought in the first semester. I guess there just wasn't much variation in the questions they could ask. The massive gleaming katana in its hand was a little worrying, but it was okay. My weapon was more than a match for his.

After all, the sword in my hand was Sugu's favorite blade.

"Every man for himself!" Okuda yelped as the boss reared back, raising its weapon over its head. The ponderous titan swung down with a shout, sending a spray of sand everywhere from the impact. The wind blasted us, forcing us to guard our eyes against the sand whipping at our flesh, but when the dust cleared the blade had halted above the sand, stopped there by a single blade.

The blade was being held by a pink-haired girl with two long twin tails. "Ritsu?" Okuda asked.

The girl turned around and - that's not Ritsu. "Don't worry, I know what's up," the weird girl said. I vaguely remember her face... "We land in the top 50 or we're done, isn't that right?"

"Who are you?!" Sugino shouted, staring at her.

Oh right! She was the fake Ritsu, since the real Ritsu wasn't allowed to take the tests. "Oh," Nagisa said. "That's the fake Ritsu."

"Bingo," the girl said. "And the real Ritsu broke it down for me like so. I had to put forth the effort to get a score similar to what she would have gotten, since reaching our goal hinges on no-performers like me working hard to drive up the average for everybody else."

I barked out a quiet laugh. Sounds like Ritsu.

Maehara grinned. "Right then," he said, laying his blade on his shoulder. "Let's do this."

I stepped forward and stared up at the sneering oni mask. "You're big," I said softly, "I'll give you that. But... you won't win." I gripped the hilt of my blade. "I've fought against my little sister. She's _way_ scarier than you."

Japanese: Time Up

Our fifth and final exam: Mathematics.

"Begin!" the proctor barked, and we all flipped over our exam sheets.

I smiled, relaxed. This, right here? This was the easy part.

Starting at the beginning, I gripped the sniper rifle I held in my hands and gently patted the replica's side. "Alright, Hecate," I said. "How about you and me make Shino proud, huh?" The gun didn't reply. That would be silly, since guns can't talk.

As we were preparing for the test, Korosensei had pressed on us the importance of plotting out our method of attack immediately, since the test was so long and the problems were so hard. He suggested we try answering the questions and then skip whichever ones we couldn't figure out right away. Go for the high point values first, and then work our way backwards.

I didn't see the point. After all, I'm gonna need a perfect score if I want to prove I could do it; and that meant answering all the questions correctly regardless of the difficulty and the point value.

So, let's just get started.

While the others were all busy fighting a massive monster that was sending out massive numbers of plates that zigged and zagged in the air unnervingly, protecting the main crystalline body from the bullets of my classmates - a probability problem, some voice in my mind whispered to me - I turned my attention on the first problem.

It was alien-like as well, resembling something more like a floating sphere with colors swirling around its surface in an almost hypnotic pattern. I grimaced, glaring at it; I hate conics, just because they're a massive pain in the ass to visualize even if the actual difficulty of the problem isn't that bad. I got comfortable and settled down, taking aim down Hecate's sights. Honestly, the problem itself was inert, so I didn't have to worry about dealing with the little minions like the others. But the swirling pattern made it difficult to figure out exactly what the test was asking.

So, why bother? I just closed my eyes, exhaling, and then opened them again. This time, I could see the faint red path that would lead me to the correct solution. All I had to do...

I exhaled until there was no oxygen in my lungs.

...was follow the path. I fired, and the bullet shot towards the floating sphere. It traced the red path perfectly, and disappeared into the swirling colors. I didn't bother watching the enemy die; instead, I packed up my sniper rifle after ejecting the cartridge and moved on to the next problem, joining the others.

The explosion behind me didn't even phase me.

"I see Terasaka's going at things with his usual bullheaded approach," I said drily as I walked up next to Takebayashi. The thug in question was just smashing the plates directly, one at a time and not even trying for subtlety. Well, I guess if it works it works. And he was the one we were most worried about, so that heralds nothing but good things.

I took aim, squeezing off three quick shots. Each one shattered an important plate, putting massive gaping holes in the swirling defense patterns of the crystalline monster. "Screw you, octopus!" Terasaka shouted in rage. "I may be a moron, but I'm hella strong!" Ah, what were we worried about? Sure, he'll place last in E Class, but it doesn't matter in the end.

"Remember guys, we're the End class!" Okano said cheerfully. The plates she and Maehara were fighting stopped swirling and took aim, a bright blue light gathering in the center of the plate. "We don't play it cool, we play it quick and dirty! Zero in on your targets weakness!"

The nice thing about using the sniper rifle? All I needed to know was the right spot, and the sheer power of Hecate would do the rest. I took aim as the others were unloading into the main body.

I exhaled.

And I blew the monster's core out with a single shot. "Hah," I sighed with pleasure as the crystal crashed to the ground, black smoke streaming from the cracks caused by E Class's bullets. Even if they hadn't managed to hit the core precisely, they still got partial credit for the question.

"Woo hoo!" Okajima celebrated. "I think that did the trick!"

"No time for review, people," Terasaka barked. "Onto the next one!"

Before he could take a step, the entire ground shook. As everyone stumbled, trying to figure out where the next boss was coming from, the ground surged and cracked, lifting a few kids off their feet. Maehara in particular was thrown into the air as a monster erupted from the earth.

"Oh, crap," Chiba grunted. "Recurrence relations, at the end?"

The gleaming panel on the monster's back was asking us to find the general formula for a given recurrence relation sequence. What the hell? This wasn't middle school level material! This was hardly _high school_ level material.

I stepped back. The plating on this monster was too thick for my bullets to pierce through. Its legs were too heavy for me to shoot out, and for some unknown reason its body was being supported despite not actually having any connections. There wasn't anything for me to do.

"You wanna take this one?" I asked Karma, who was watching from the rear confidently.

The red-head grinned. "Sure thing. Don't want to let you have _all_ the fun." With another shrug, he took his hand out of his pocket and gripped his assault rifle at the ready, running towards the monster.

Seriously, though, this thing was on a junior high exam? That was supposed to just be a rumor. Why would it be on this exam?

There wasn't any more time to question it, though. The monster reared back and lifted its massive trunk-like legs. "Mayday! Mayday!" Sugaya shouted.

"Hold on, I need to reload!" Okano shouted as she tried to run away. The problem was, the impact from the thing's feet hitting the ground still knocked her off her own.

E Class opened fire on the monster, but their bullets just weren't strong enough. The generic knowledge wouldn't be enough to stop this monster. But... A flash of color caught my eye and I peered down the scope, examining the top of the monster. Maehara was desperately trying to climb to the top, and above him... Karma.

The boy grinned before bringing something to his mouth and then dropping whatever it was into a hole in the monster's back. The monster suddenly lost all of its color, the white turning grey and the display fading away. As he landed in front of all of us, the monster toppled to the ground and then exploded. He didn't even flinch as he held up a grenade, exactly like the one he'd tossed into the boss. "Aw c'mon!" he said. "I showed you guys last week! You have to take it to a particular solution!" He grinned, without any mockery in it.

See, the thing was, Korosensei wasn't the only one tutoring us during the review period. He'd had the students teach each other, lecturing on our strongest subjects and helping out the weaker ones. Karma and I had tag-teamed Mathematics, and he'd been the one to cover this stuff, even if it _had_ been just a rumor. Man, am I glad he did.

Honestly, the whole student-tutoring helped immensely. Without that, I wouldn't have been able to answer several of the questions in the Social Studies exam - Isogai's lectures had been easy to follow and remember for even Terasaka, which made it simplicity itself for me - or remembered some of the techniques and formulas in Science and Math. By teaching the others, I was able to polish my own blades to the sharpest they could be.

A loud boom echoed from the other side of the arena, and we all looked over to see Asano standing before the broken and shattered figure of his own penultimate problem. The alien boss monster was lying in a crumpled heap, flames consuming its form. Hah... Looks like he was gonna be a problem after all...

Above us, a dark shadow flickered with eldritch purple energy as the sky grew dark and a swirling portal opened up. A massive boss monster started plummeting towards the earth, flames surrounding it as it breached the atmosphere.

"Relax," Karma said to the class as he and I walked forward to meet the boss. The others were too busy watching the boss enter. "Just do your best, okay? You're guaranteed to get at least partial credit!"

I grinned lightly as I chambered a bullet. "Don't worry. We'll get full credit, so leave that to us."

Asano approached us, staring ahead resolutely with his cold eyes.

We stopped, facing each other, and I tilted my head with a little smile. Meanwhile, Karma and Asano were busy staring each other down, healthy killing intent swirling around them.

To our right, the final boss fell from the heavens; it was a massive, crystal-clear cube with a statue of a woman emerging from the top and staring down at us with something almost like pity on its face.

It was a fragile, beautiful work of art.

I couldn't _wait_ to smash it.

* * *

Oh, gods, this just looks _awful_.

'As shown in the diagram to the right, the crystalline structure known as a body-centered cubic unit consists of multiple cubes having sides length _a_ arranged periodically, with an atom at each vertex and at each cube's center. Most alkaline metals, including Na and K, are body-centered cubic units. Focusing on atom A[0] in a body-centered cubic unit, of all the points within the space, the domain D[0] consists of the set of points closer to A[0] than to any other atom. Find the volume of D[0].'

I let out a quiet whistle as I took in the blank, featureless room I was standing in. The central atom, huh? And I had to find the volume surrounding it.

Of course, my first thought was a sphere with diameter _a_. But... I blinked as the blue sphere representing D[0] appeared around me. The parts of the sphere furthest from me, however, were a crimson red; they were closer to the corner points than to the center. I couldn't take the easy route.

I only had a few minutes to solve the problem, too. The test before had wiped out more than half the students, and of the ones left only three of us in the entire grade had the chance of solving this last question. The rest of the students that even saw this problem had just wasted too much time on the other problems.

I had to do this. Let's be about it, then, shall we?

My fingers twitched, sending out webs of lines as I split the cube into eight, with the center point acting as one corner and the pre-existing corner acting as the opposite corner. The sphere wasn't the _worst_ way of solving this, even if it didn't work. Because the center point was the _center_ , I could just focus on this one corner, figure out how much territory I owned, and then multiply that number by eight.

Now, let's see. I stared at the smaller box, smirking lightly at the shadowy figure of the opponent in the exact opposite corner. The bottom left and right corners were mine, as well as the one directly above me. They were a straight line, compared to the opposing corner's diagonal line. Value _a_ instead of _a_ root 2. But... the opposing bottom corner wasn't mine. I set out a web, frowning. The threads were tangled, but my angle was forty-five degrees and I could calculate exactly how far I needed to go if I knew the distance from the end - but I couldn't find it. The webs twisted in on themselves, and I snarled.

Shit. I didn't know enough. I couldn't find the length of the diagonal without knowing the X and Y values, and I didn't know _those_ because I didn't know the diagonal. Giving that up as a lost cause, I sent a web towards the upper opposite corner; naturally, it ended halfway. That was the middle point. Now, I _could_ draw a triangle between the points I know, and I did that; the web formed, hanging in midair, and I gnawed at my lip. Was that everything? How could I know? What about to my left? I couldn't just say the clash was even all the way to the corner, since the opposition clearly owned the upper left corner instead of me. It would slide off to the side...

Damn, damn, damn, I'm running out of time, shit!

This isn't... I'm losing track of the web. I twitched my fingers, trying to draw out the answer, but it seemed cloudy in my mind. This wasn't... I couldn't see the answer. It wasn't working. The webs were burning up against the enemy's presence, and I couldn't seem to think clearly -!

Stop. Nick. You know better than this.

Like a switch had been flipped, I sat back in my chair, idly erasing the work I'd already done. With a wave of my hands, all the tangled lines and webs that I'd placed down to mark my known positions were erased, leaving me back in that empty white box, standing in the center.

I knew better than that. I was letting my madness and my bloodlust act up, instead of keeping it sheathed like it belongs.

Now that I'm calm, let's start over. If the answer isn't coming to me, then that's because the path I'm following isn't right. Clearly, I don't need to mathematically define the area I own.

Let's just... start from the beginning.

I am in a cube. This cube has sides of length _a_ , which means the volume of the whole cube is _a_ cubed. Write that down. Now, let's go back over the question exactly. If I'm meant to solve this, then the answer is here. I'll build my little virtual world based off the words, leaving nothing out.

'...an atom at each vertex and at each cube's center...'

The box formed around me, the white walls forming from little blue polygons as it assembled. I stood in the exact center, equidistant from each corner. Four above me, four below. Four to my left, and four to my right.

Continue on. Don't get held up by the minute details.

Goal: find the volume of domain D[0], the set of points closer to my point than any other point.

My initial approach isn't wrong. Because this is a cube, even though it's a crystal and repeats indefinitely I can safely ignore the other points. Because I am in the center… The lines sliced out from me and severed the cube into eight smaller cubes.

Because I am the center, I can place myself at one corner of the new cube, and my target at the diametrically opposite corner. The exact point doesn't matter, the cubes are generic.

Which points do I own? The bottom left corner, the bottom right corner, and the corner immediately above me. Those are the points that are direct lines from my corner. The Pythagorean theorem dictates I am closer to these points than my opponent is, because the straight line from his corner to the point in question is a diagonal angle. My distance is one half _a_ , his distance is one half _a_ times root 2.

Which points does my opponent own? The corner exactly opposite from me, the top left corner, the top right corner, and the corner immediately below him. Those are the points that are direct lines from my opponent's corner. The Pythagorean theorem dictates he is closer to these points than I am, because the straight line from my corner to the point in question is a diagonal angle. My distance is one half _a_ times root 2, his distance is one half _a_.

This is where I started entangling myself last time.

What else does he - wait. Wait.

I need to count _myself_.

Counting myself, I own four corners. Counting the opponent, they own four corners. There are only eight corners available in the cube to own, which means that _all corners have been claimed_.

If all corners have been claimed, split equally... and because the opponent is based in the corner exactly opposite from me...

Hah. I'm really just...

...Looking in a mirror.

I reached out towards the shadowy figure of the opponent, spreading my palm flat, and the figure did the same. As our hands pressed together in the center of the false cube, the shadows receded and I realized I was staring at myself.

It was just a trick of the perspective the whole time.

As the mirror between us shattered, I knew; if it was a perfect mirror, and it was, then I owned exactly half of this cube's domain. And this was just a construct I created... Turning, I swiped my hand around the other seven cubes surrounding me, and the mirror in each shattered. If I own half of this smaller cube's domain, and if each of the eight cubes were equal, and together the domain of the eight cubes totaled the domain of the large cube...

...I owned half of the _large_ cube's domain.

I smiled slightly and wrote down the answer in the wall of the cube, slinging Hecate back over my shoulder. I didn't need you for this one, but I appreciate the support none the less. I pressed my palm to the answer and the wall rippled like water before shattering entirely into blue polygons of light. As they scattered in the air, I saw I was standing in the air, in a blue, sunny sky. It almost reminded me of when I cleared Sword Art Online, watching from above the clouds.

Hah. That was easier than expected, I think.

"Hey, Nick," Karma said, grinning. I looked over my shoulder lazily to see him standing there, hands in his pants. "What took you so long? I beat you, for once."

I just laughed. "I decided to take it easy, this time around," I said. "Sometimes it's nice to relax, y'know?"

Mathematics: Time Up

The bell rang, everyone put down their pencils, and like that the end of term exams were over.

* * *

 **A bit on the shorter side, but this is a good stopping point, I think. The tests are over, and y'know, it's okay to have tension build up!**

 **The first half of the chapter dealt with the preparation for the exams, mainly. Nick is studying, he's snarking a bit, the usual. And then Asano out of nowhere, asking for help. See, the thing is, we don't get to see this because we're glued to Nick, but Principal Asano scolded Young Asano for not doing more to sabotage E Class's ramen stand – like putting cockroaches in the food, and then making a huge stink about it. Yikes. Then, after Asano protests and says that Mr. Principal is going a bit far, Principal Asano brainwashes the rest of the Big Five into hating E Class. From there, the Principal does the same for the other A Class students, barring Asano.**

 **The other thing is, we don't get to see it, but Principal Asano is apparently a godly teacher as well, just like Korosensei. He's super quick, but the material he covers is incredibly easy to understand compared to the usual A Class teachers.**

 **Then we get to the studying part. Nick has more nightmares, and the stress of being one of the best is slowly starting to get to him. He just wakes up after a nightmare (he assumes it's from Aincrad, but is it...?) and to calm himself down he goes and studies – but in E Class, for whatever reason. He's still sleepy and his usual modus operandi in Aincrad was to go out and kill monsters when he had nightmares, so, uh… old habits die hard? Basically, the point I was trying to make was that he's subconsciously feeling the pressure. I was trying to have him act 'aggressively nonchalant' during the entrance to the exams, just to push the idea that he's feeling the pressure but forcing himself to believe he's not.**

 **Finally, the exams proper; they're fun to write. I enjoyed it, at least. It's something where it's all happening in Nick's head, so I get to enjoy myself and go wild with it – as seen by how his mental image of his sword is Elucidator, for example, or how his Science weapon is a pretty obvious reference. And, of course, can't forget the chance for him to pretend to do the badass 'I'm not going to look at the explosion' thing. Not that he'd do it in real life – explosions have a shockwave, and you can bet Nick's not stupid enough to take chances.**

 **The last question was the hardest part to write, actually. I knew the vague outline of how I wanted it to go – Nick starts, he gets worked up, then calms down and takes a second look to solve the problem – but I didn't want to just use the Karma method of solution, even though it's perfectly valid. Nick's character growth is not Karma's growth, after all, and Nick just doesn't tend to consider others in his inner self. I mean, if I'd gone that route he would have imagined each of his seven family members standing at the corners (and his cat at the eighth, since let's be honest he likes his cat more than he likes klein, sorry klein) and realized that they all had the same radius too, since the atom A[0] was picked arbitrarily, and each of the corners was the center of their own cube. In the end, though, I went with this for a reason.**

 **Many thanks to everyone that favorited, followed, or reviewed.**


	12. Let Live Time

**Chapter 12: Let Live Time**

* * *

It took a week for all of the tests to be graded, and the whole time I was in this weird state of swinging between extreme nervousness and extreme apathy.

Maybe it's not that I was swinging between the two so much as I was so stressed I had no real idea how stressed I was. Like juggling, where all the balls are in the air - you don't have anything to do with your hands, but that doesn't mean you're not about to drop everything and fail miserably if you so much as hesitate a second too long.

And then the day of judgment came.

"Alrighty, class!" Korosensei said, carrying three thick manila envelopes in his tentacles. My heart lurched for a second before falling back into its usual laidback rhythm. "Let's all have a look at your compiled exam papers. Did those crucial second blades manage to pierce their intended targets?" he asked rhetorically as he pulled the exams out. "I wonder..."

The tension in the room rose as Korosensei scanned the exams, clearly taking his time. C'mon, you're a super organism that can go Mach 20, you can read our tests faster than this! You're just being an ass.

"No splitting hairs over a point or two, understood?" Korosensei finally said, leering at us. Then, in an instant, he blurred away. I could see the other students getting their papers shoved into their hands at high speeds - except Terasaka, who got them plastered over his face instead like a doofus - and then suddenly I had my test papers in my hand. I didn't look at the scores. I didn't want to see my failure. "The only thing we're concerned with right now is whether these scores secured a place for you in the top 50."

Grudgingly, I lifted my tests and took a look at the cover sheet.

N...No way...

"Unless I'm mistaken," Korosensei said, appearing at the front of the class with a rolled-up sheet of poster paper, "the main campus ought to be posting these results for all to see as we speak. So, I see no reason we can't do the same in E Class." Turning around and facing the board, Korosensei started unrolling the poster.

'Second End-of-Term Exam: Top 50'. As Korosensei unrolled the paper, revealing the top 50 students in the grade, everyone rose from their seats to get a closer look. I went up there to take a closer look myself. It was a color-coded poster for our convenience, with everyone from E Class marked with a special color to signal that we weren't from the main campus.

"...Ah..." I breathed. As similar murmurs went up around the classroom, I started at the bottom and worked my way up.

50, 49, 48, 47... All spots claimed by the main campus students. But... "You... you're kidding me," Terasaka mumbled. "I'm _46th_?!"

"Isn't Terasaka dead last, even in here, though?" Sugaya asked.

"If he came in 46th, then that must mean..." Kataoka said.

Mimura's eyes widened. "Is this for real?!"

"We did it!" the class celebrated, throwing their test sheets into the air with glee. Even Karma was smiling happily, pleased with E Class's performance. I just smiled with relief, proud that we'd managed to crush A Class.

"And," Maehara crowed, "we beat out the Big Five for the top spots! Go us!" It was true. The first of the Big Five - ignoring Asano - was Sakakibara, placing 9th overall behind Kanzaki, Kataoka, Takebayashi, Isogai, and Nakamura. Of course, Asano still placed extremely high.

"Dude!" Sugino exclaimed. "Karma! Nick! You guys got first place!"

I couldn't believe it, honestly.

I got a perfect score. 500 out of 500.

So what the hells was up with me getting second billing?! Seriously! Still, all of my fake anger couldn't hide the rush of sheer relief at the sight of that number one next to my name, even if I was in the second place spot. Beside me, Karma let out a sigh of relief.

"Feels pretty good, doesn't it?" Korosensei said, slithering up behind the two of us as well as Nagisa and Kayano. "Earning the highest rank on such an unforgiving battlefield?"

Karma blushed a little bit. "Whatever, I guess so, yeah..." he said bashfully. Kayano and Nagisa giggled a little bit.

I just let out a sigh. "I'm just glad I didn't choke at the end," I said. "Would have been real embarrassing to fall flat on my face because I couldn't hack it..."

No I _wasn't_ blushing shut up shut up shut up! And my cheeks _weren't_ hot! Ugh... This is why I hate being in the center of attention, I just want to curl up and hide...

"It appears your contest with Asano the perfectionist," Korosensei said, mercifully shifting the subject and allowing me to regain my inner stability, "came to a head on that last and, I must say, particularly thorny math problem."

Karma smiled. "Yeah, about that," he said. "Not sure I could say exactly why, but... if I hadn't spent the past year with you guys, I don't think I could have solved it. That's the kind of problem it was."

I nodded, glancing out over the class. Everyone was celebrating and grinning; I saw Kanzaki comparing papers with Yada, while Kurahashi was playfully punching Terasaka on the chest. The thug had his arms folded and was trying to pretend like he wasn't having fun. "It's... weird," I said distantly. "But... yeah. What Karma said. If I hadn't been here, in this class... I probably wouldn't have solved it with the time I had left."

I'd seen the final results. Up until that point, all of us had perfect scores. But on the Math exam...

Final problem:

Karma Akabane: 20 out of 20 points.

Nick Weyr: 20 out of 20 points.

Gakushu Asano: 17 out of 20 points.

It was so incredibly close.

The four - five if you count Korosensei - of us weren't the only ones going over the test and talking about it. "Hah!" Maehara sighed, grinning at Okano. "Tough haul getting to this point, huh?"

"Yeah, I don't believe it!" Yada said, sharing a smile with Kanzaki. "And we all wanted this so badly!"

"Actually, beating A Class sounds too good to be true," Okano said.

Mimura was sitting at his desk, grinning at his tests like a fool. "I'm back on track for the top-tier schools," he said with relief clear in his voice.

Okajima pumped his fist in the air... like a fool. "The ladies will be throwing themselves at our feet!" he cheered. Yes, because nothing gets a girl hot and bothered like straight A's. Oh, baby, your GPA is so _big..._ Time for an _oral exam…_

Maehara leaned over to them. "Way to go us, right?" he said, giving them a thumbs up. Okano and Kataoka didn't look too pleased. Heh.

"Yeah!" Okajima exclaimed. "Chicks everywhere!"

"Ahh..." Fuwa sighed almost wistfully. "Feels almost like a final chapter..."

"Wait a sec!" Hara yelped. "It's not over!"

Hah... Another one of those weird things that Fuwa says, the ones that make me feel like I should be... taking offense or something? This one just confused me, though.

Meanwhile, Okajima, Maehara, and Mimura were busy talking about something or other to do with girls and their plans for later today. I don't know, I didn't really listen to them all that much. Off to the side, though, I noticed Takebayashi letting out a huge sigh. "What's with that look, man?" Isogai said. "Are you okay?"

Takebayashi grinned, adjusting his glasses. "What? Oh... Yeah... It's just that, so much has happened since I came here, I'm glad I got kicked out."

A thick arm wrapped around his arm, playfully putting the nerd into a headlock. "Aw, why you gotta be all depressing, huh?" Terasaka asked, grinning. "Sounds all weird, coming outta your mouth!"

"Besides," Itona said in a flat deadpan, "why make an ugly face when this clown has it covered?"

"What dozzat mean?!" Terasaka growled at Itona. Of course, he tightened his grip, inadvertently cutting off Takebayashi's air.

Isogai yelped, "Terasaka! Easy, you're choking him!"

Near the back of the class, where it was less rowdy, Chiba and Hayami were comparing test papers quietly. "What d'you think?" the female sniper said simply.

What do I think?" Chiba repeated, grinning a little bit. "I think I can get into my dream school, now."

"What are you going to study? Architecture, right?" Hayami asked him. It's times like this that her resemblance to Shino really shines through; even beyond the superficial similarities of their weapon of choice, it's the way they act around people. Her nickname was the Hot-and-Cold Sniper for a reason, and even if she pretended to be cold on the surface that question alone revealed the truth. She paid enough attention to her partner to know what he was shooting for in terms of education.

Ah... I really miss Shino...

"Yeah," Chiba said. "I'm angling for a high school that's big on engineering and science."

"Hah!" Okajima laughed, straightening up from leaning over Mimura's desk. "Those A Class dillweeds... What I wouldn't give to see the looks on their faces right now!"

Maehara grinned. "Bet you anything they never thought in a million years they'd lose to us!"

"Now, to be fair," Korosensei said patiently, "on their part A Class performed quite well on the first half of the exams. But as the questions grew increasingly difficult on the second half, more and more students found themselves running out of steam."

Nakamura grinned. She did really well on this test... 4th place, just behind Asano, Karma, and myself. Impressive. "Yeah, well, that's what they get," she said. "Whoever you are, _nobody's_ bloodlust holds out that long. Even after intensive assassination drills, it's next to impossible to stay in that frame of mind for the entire day. If you expect to boost your system on bloodlust, cramming _isn't_ the way to go. You have to nurture it over time, slow and steady."

Yeah... It took, maybe, about a year of constant bloodlust to get used to it to the point you could sense your enemy's attack.

Just like in Aincrad.

I stared off into the distance, letting my mind get filled by memories of the floating castle. It had really nurtured me, in a dark way. I'd learned how to harness my bloodlust there, and even though I was fully aware it had damaged me, it was... still a place of nostalgia.

As I stared off into the distance, a strange shudder of pleasure rippled down my spine. I caught my reflection in the window next to me, a small feral smile baring my teeth. Hah... I know this feeling. It's what I felt when I heard the news that Sugou had been arrested, and when Shino had smashed that idiot's head in with her radio when he tried to poison Kazuto...

It was the feeling I got when some idiot was getting their pride and dignity _wrecked_.

I reveled in the pleasure for a few more seconds, and then let my smirk fade back into an easygoing grin. I knew the other students knew exactly what my personality was like, but old habits died hard; plus, it was easier if I just smiled peacefully instead.

As I walked down the hill - Korosensei let us out soon after that, so I was going to wander the campus for a bit... Not to _gloat_ , no, I wouldn't do something _that_ petty... Heh - I walked by the Big Five. My brows furrowed with surprise; Sakakibara was supporting Asano, one arm around his shoulder. Asano was walking normally, but every now and then he'd stumble a little bit. I saw traces of blood at the corner of his mouth, smeared as though he'd tried to wipe it off but failed.

"The hells happened to you?" I asked him bluntly. Mostly out of sadistic curiosity.

The Big Five started to close ranks around him, and my eyes widened just a little bit. Hah...? After all this, after the way he treats everyone else, they still support him? Well, then. Maybe Asano's not totally wasted after all. I just can't seem to hate someone who understands the virtue of close friends, after all. As someone who didn't _have_ anyone until a few years ago, I knew exactly how important they were.

Before the Big Five could fully close around Asano, however, the boy chuckled. "Not much, Nick," he said, staring at me. He was smirking. "Just... the principal, showing his fatherly side."

Oh.

Yeah, alright, I won't give him shit about that. Principal Asano is kind of a jackass at the best of times. Now that his entire school system has been clearly turned upside down on its head, I didn't doubt that he'd lash out. Asano had said as much earlier; he and his father were constantly at war with one another, after all, and Asano _won_ this round. "...I trust you're taking him to the nurse, then?" I said finally. "I can see the blood. Not a head wound, there's not enough, but you clearly got hit pretty hard." When Araki nodded, I nodded back. "Don't let me hold you up, then." Head trauma was bad news, so best leave them to their task.

Still, that explained the little frisson of pleasure earlier. It was the Principal being a shit and then having said shit wrecked, though I'm not entirely sure of the context.

Whatever. Not my problem.

* * *

The next day, the sky was blue and the birds were singing. It felt weird to be walking to class completely normally, especially after remembering that I was now the top-ranked student in the school and _totally should have had my name first_ , curse the alphabetical order.

"Well then, boys and girls," Korosensei said once homeroom started, sipping at a cup of tea. "You've officially qualified to be transferred out of E Class. Anyone here ready to leave the mountain?" he asked, his voice taunting.

"Yeah, you'd like that, wouldn't you?" Maehara called out, brandishing a knife at Korosensei. He wasn't the only one with weapons out; everyone in the class was holding either a knife or gun of some sort. This was an assassination classroom, after all, we had to be prepared to fight.

As the class snickered, Mimura said, "I don't think so. We found our second blades. This is where things get serious!"

Kataoka added, "If you know a place better suited to assassination, we're all ears!"

I'm not sure who took the first shot, but almost instantly bullets filled the air as we took aim at Korosensei. "Nue-heh-heh-heh," Korosensei laughed as he dodged effortlessly, not even spilling a drop of tea as he sipped. "Gluttons for punishment, I see. I suppose, then, as your reward, I should also divulge my most notable -"

Suddenly I spun, flinching, as something triggered my instincts, I don't know what. My knife appeared in my hand like magic, even if I didn't know where the enemy was -

 _Crash! Boom!_

"Gyah!" Korosensei shrieked. The entire building shook, plaster and chips of wood falling onto us.

A second later, another crash shook the building.

What the hells? Attack by an assassin?

Kataoka slid the window open and poked her head out. She looked out, and then to the right - and then let out a scream of surprise and fear. "Our building!" she shrieked.

We all crowded the windows and leaned out, trying to see what had happened. My eyes widened at the cloud of dust and smoke that, large as it was, couldn't quite hide the massive yellow backhoe that was currently tearing apart the E Class campus building. What in the _hells_? What was going on?

"Evacuate the premises, please."

A growl rumbled in my throat as I looked towards the front of the building. Sure enough, that was Principal Asano's voice telling us to get out of the building. The man was standing there, smug and sharp as always. "Principal Asano!" the class gasped.

"The board reached a unanimous decision. The old campus building is to be demolished today." We all gasped at the news.

Oh, yeah, sure, and I'm certain this timing has nothing to do with the fact that you just got destroyed yesterday from the test results. Nothing at _all_.

"Oh, don't worry," Principal Asano continued, not even looking at us. He was just watching the destruction placidly. "You'll be moved to an affiliate school slated to open next year. We need students to performance test their newest facilities." Karma seemed to be taking this better than me; while I was growling under my breath, hands flexing to murder something, Karma was just watching with a calm smile.

"Wait!" Muramatsu complained. "You're farming us out somewhere?"

The Principal's empty smile grew a little bit. "Oh, it's not all that bad," he said. "Let us call it a social experiment. The building is state-of-the-art, with closed-circuit surveillance cameras and escape-proof architecture. It's similar to a prison. The culmination of my education philosophy."

It doesn't matter. I'll find a way. _Nothing_ in this world is escape-proof, not when I have everyone in this classroom at my disposal. The security cameras? They were just _begging_ for Ritsu to take over. An electric fence? Solitary confinement? I will _break them all and bring them down around your ears_ , Principal.

"But... you can't move us right now," Nagisa protested.

Sugino glared at the principal. "We won't go!" he barked. "We're graduating from this campus!"

"I see you'll spare nothing to see your methods vindicated," Korosensei said, appearing next to Principal Asano with a burst of wind.

The principal didn't react with surprise or shock, he just nodded. "Correct. Oh, and incidentally, your services will no longer be required." He reached into his jacket pocket. The gold oak leaf pin on his tie seemed to gleam in the light, almost offensively. "Yes, I'm afraid so," he said when Korosensei looked concerned. The principal lifted up a simple sheet of paper. "This is the part where I terminate you."

"Gyeeeeee!" Korosensei shrieked in horror.

"Woah!" Isogai exclaimed. "He just got slapped with walking papers!"

Maehara grimaced. "I don't believe it! The man actually played the forbidden ace in the hole!"

"Guuoooh!" Korosensei whimpered, before breaking out protest signs. "This is wrongful dismissal!" he complained.

Korosensei Weakness Number Thirty-Six: Downsizing.

"The octopus is ridiculously susceptible to this sort of attack," Sugino sighed. Seriously, this pathetic creature was our teacher?

Nagisa frowned. "Do super creatures even _have_ a legal rights to protest?"

"Heck no, we won't go!" Korosensei started chanting.

Principal Asano smirked slightly. "Now, don't go jumping to conclusions," he said. "Actually, this is no more than a clever means of distracting you. When I said terminate..." He smiled and turned to face Korosensei. "I meant it literally."

Korosensei had shifted to chanting something else at this point. "Rickity-rick, rickity-rack, give us back our teaching pack!" At least, that's what I think he said. I couldn't quite hear him, over the sounds of construction and students murmuring.

"I'm here to kill you," Principal Asano declared.

"Ugeh?" Korosensei said, pausing mid-protest.

"You see, Korosensei," Principal Asano said, and his eyes were cold and dead inside. The eyes of someone filled with anger and bloodlust. "You don't fit with my vision."

Isogai stared at him. "He can't be serious."

Karma leaned out of the window, smirking all the while. "Look, man," he said casually, "we know you're a big Machiavelli and all that, but I'd tread carefully in your shoes. The octopus is clever."

I vaguely remember reading somewhere that while The Prince reads as though it contains advice for someone aiming to be a monarch, some of the advice in there was actually detrimental and was in fact aiming to support the republican method of government. Whether that was true or not, well, that wasn't really my problem, now was it? Either way, 'Machiavellian' fit the principal to the letter.

Principal Asano, instead of responding to Karma, simply smiled knowingly and then turned to the workers. "Hold off on the demolition for now, if you would, please," he commanded them. "I have unfinished business inside."

We were unceremoniously shuffled; all of the students inside ended up stand outside, looking into the classroom through the windows, while Korosensei and Principal Asano were inside.

Aside from Ritsu, who couldn't be moved, and Karasuma and Professor Bitch standing in the hall, the classroom was... empty. Principal Asano had shifted all of the desks to the back bar five, which he'd arranged in a loose semi-circle. On top of each desk, he placed a single textbook. He also placed five grenades on the desk. They all looked like regular Anti-Korosensei grenades.

"Where the hell'd that notice of dismissal come from?" Professor Bitch asked Karasuma. Our P.E. teacher simply bowed his head.

Principal Asano said, "Now then, Korosensei. I assume you don't wish to be fired. And furthermore, that you wish to preserve this classroom. Well," he said, striding around Korosensei and stopping at the open window. He stood between us and Korosensei - a position he definitely picked on purpose. "What would you say to a little wager?"

"What's he getting at?" Nagisa muttered. We were watching from the window, forbidden from interfering.

"I have prepared five subjects' worth of exam questions, and five live grenades," Principal Asano continued. "Four contain Anti-Korosensei projectiles. That is, they are fatal to you." He walked over to the desk and picked up a grenade. "One is fatal to humans." Like that'd stop him. Korosensei's nose is - "All five grenades are identical in appearance and smell." Well, damn. There goes the loophole. "And designed so that once their pins are pulled, they will explode the instant their handles are raised." Calmly, Principal Asano pulled the pin on the grenade in his hand.

I'm sorry wait what. The class gasped.

"I've pulled the pins," he said, reaching out and lifting a few pages of the textbook on the nearest desk, "and carefully placed the grenades between random of each test booklet handles down. The workbooks prevent the handle from moving. You must open each book and solve the problem in the top righthand corner."

A few kids gasped. "But that'll push the handles in the up position!" Hara protested, pointing at him.

"That's correct," Principal Asano said, praising her like she'd answered a question in class correctly. "Your teacher will almost certainly be hit with an explosion. Furthermore, he can't move until the problem is solved. The first four books," he said, "are yours and yours alone. I'll be taking the remainder for myself. Kill me or force me to withdraw," the principal said, his empty eyes boring into Korosensei, "and victory belongs unquestionably to you. You and the E Class students will be allowed to stay. Agreed?" Korosensei didn't reply.

"Terasaka, look sharp," he said suddenly, without looking. "Use the appropriate formula to find Korosensei's odds of winning."

Terasaka snorted. "Why do I have to solve something so messed up?" he grumbled. "An Anti-Sensei grenade won't kill you... The real one will, naturally, but we'd have to save it for the end, so, let's see..." He furrowed his brows. "Four-fifths times three-fourths times two-thirds times one-half equals one-fifth, so... twenty percent."

Principal Asano turned and gave Terasaka a smile. "Well done," he said, making a circle with his thumb and forefinger.

Terasaka glared at him. "Yeah, but hold on," he said. "The octopus sits through four explosions before you even take a turn. This game's rigged!" he spat, pointing an accusing finger at the principal. "You can just bow out if you don't like the way it's going! Don't know about you, but I call that unfair!"

"Young man," Principal Asano said. His smile reminded me of a skittering centipede, and I snarled. " _Life_ is unfair. It's chock-full of injustice, especially if you're not fortunate enough to be one of the strong." He touched Korosensei's shoulder, making our teacher shriek and shiver. "Don't you see? This is why I teach the true meaning of strength. So then, shall we proceed?" he said to Korosensei. "Show me how serious you really are about your chosen profession, Korosensei."

Then he smiled. The bloodlust pouring off of him doubled. "In fact, if I were you," he said, "I wouldn't waste a single moment."

Korosensei was clearly nervous, but he nodded. "Yes, of course," the octopus said. "Let's... jump right in."

Silently, Korosensei moved a chair over and sat down in front of the first textbook, the principal smirking and watching over him.

Honestly, this was incredible. He used the threat of dismissal as a leash forcing Korosensei to stay and face this assassination attempt; he knew that if Korosensei got kicked out here, the octopus wouldn't have anywhere to go. There's nowhere for him to go. And, as much as I didn't want to admit it, this was mathematically more likely to kill Korosensei than my attempt in the summer; plus, this was heavily rigged in the principal's favor.

Smug fucker. "Open, solve the problem, and close," he said, smiling innocently. "Move quickly enough and the grenade won't go off. Speed is your specialty, this should be a walk in the park, yes?"

"Uh, y-yes, excellent point..." Korosensei said.

Falling silent, he stared at the closed problem book. I peered at the book, trying to read the title upside down. 'Geometry 2'... Can Korosensei do it? I know he's a great teacher, but...

The whole time, Principal Asano was smiling peacefully, but his eyes were hard and angry.

Suddenly, Korosensei opened the first book.

He flailed around, panicking.

What was the questio-

The grenade exploded.

As pellets rained everywhere, we all shouted and took cover. Korosensei shouted as well; as I peeked in, watching the pellets fly, I saw Principal Asano. He didn't even flinch as pellets whipped by and blew by his hair. It wasn't a shrapnel-based grenade, which was fortuitous for all involved.

...Right... Puzzles were dangerous to Korosensei. I remember how he got tangled up in that wire puzzle a few months ago. If he was confused by the problem posed to him, then he'd... be unable to solve it fast enough.

Speaking of Korosensei... I winced when I saw the state of the octopus. Half of his head had been blown away in the explosion, leaving his skull almost sunken in on either side. His tentacles were shredded as well, and steam was rising from his damaged skin. "Korosensei," some people in the class murmured.

"We'll call the first one a hit," Principal Asano smiled. "Bravo. Only three more and you'll have won the game. Now," he said, holding up the dismissal notice again, "please move on to the next one before you can regenerate."

"This is BS!" Yoshida protested. "No way he can survive three more of those explosions!"

Muramatsu yelped, "He's seriously gonna be taken out! And the set-up is so freakin' simple!"

"This makes me irritated," I grumbled. "I mean, I know Occam's Razor is a thing, but come the fuck on." Seriously, I go in-depth and set up trick after trick to weaken Korosensei for our assassination attempt and he _still_ survives, but just five books and five grenades is enough to bring him to this state? Ugh. Now I want him to win just out of _spite_.

Principal Asano said, "You see my point? The weak have to rely on assassination, whereas the strong may kill at their leisure, when and however they please." He raised a hand. "Soon, I will plant institutions across nations to drive home this truth. The Ministry of Defense has been generous. Between them and the bounty, I'll build affiliate schools all over the world."

I looked at Korosensei. He was trembling, and weakly moving over to the next book. I wasn't sure, but I think it was a history book? "Come now, Korosensei," Principal Asano said. "Validate my philosophy. Be the cornerstone of my vision." It was like a massive centipede wrapped around him and skittered around, poisoning everything.

I... I hated it. I hated his centipede, and I hated his vision, his philosophy, his ideal even more. It was _disgusting_ to me, who'd gone through life trying to become one of the strong before everyone showed me it was okay to be weak sometimes.

And I _was_ weak. I relied on assassination because my strengths didn't lend themselves to frontal assaults.

Kana showed me. My family showed me. E Class and my classmates showed me. There were different ways to be strong, and as long as you didn't give up pursuing your chosen path even if you were weak, nobody could say you didn't have strength.

So _fuck you_ , Principal Asano. Fuck you and your strength.

Korosensei hesitated over the second workbook, his tentacle trembling. As slime dripped from his injuries, he placed the tentacle on top of the book.

Then he blurred, and the book was opened and shut almost instantly. Taped to the front was a small slip of paper, presumably holding the answer on top of it.

...Wait what.

Principal Asano's smug look slipped. "Alrighty then!" Korosensei said brightly, turning to face him. "Open, solved, and closed. Fortunately," he continued, "I just so happen to remember, more or less, which questions are on what page in this particular series of books. Math was the only trouble spot. That one's been loaned out to a student so long I forgot."

Yada gasped, raising a hand to her mouth. ...Yada. C'mon on, now, girl. Return your books after you've finished with them.

"You know these books backwards and forwards?" Principal Asano said, staring straight ahead. It was weird. He didn't blink ever. "Well, what a remarkable coincidence."

"Oh, not just these," Korosensei said easily. He waved a tentacle. "I've committed all of Japan's test materials to memory. You say no moving out of the blast radius until the given problem is solved? Very well. That little caveat is nothing to a passionate educator."

Wait. Korosensei had literally every textbook memorized? ...How?! How the hells does he do that?

"I'm sorry, sir," Korosensei said, almost apologetically. "You sincerely thought you'd gotten the better of me, huh? My my... A Class's crushing defeat must have you in a tizzy." While speaking, Korosensei reached out and solved the other workbooks almost instantly. It was almost uncanny.

With four of the five workbooks solved, that meant... That meant Korosensei was alive. He'd won the game. The only book left was the one on the far side of the classroom, and that was the one Principal Asano had to solve. "I'm afraid this one-dimensional stratagem may wind up getting the better of _you_ ," Korosensei said. "There we have it. The last book. Your turn, I believe."

I watched as Principal Asano's eyes glimmered with... something. It looked like he was trapped by the last book; like tendrils of darkness were crawling from the innocent-seeming book and strangling him.

"What does it feel like," Korosensei asked, "staring your own demise in the face? They say one's life flashes before one's eyes? What do _you_ see, Principal?" Korosensei asked. "What's flickering by in that exemplary brain?"

Almost as if he was in a trance, Principal Asano started talking.

* * *

"Did you know...? Originally, this building was a simple cram school, run by a single teacher. I was that teacher; and my first class had only three students. I had no reason to open a cram school at the top of this mountain - my stock portfolio made up for any deficit I may have incurred. However, my goal was to teach my students to be good, no matter how that appeared. Ikeda was enthusiastic; Mori was clever; and Nagai was diligent. Each of them had their own strength, but I needed to have all their strengths combined and more.

"The cram school was off to a promising start. The three students of my inaugural term were ideal; in the peace and quiet of the mountain, I could shape their hearts and minds to my heart's content. A model education. My dream come true.

"They could be mischievous at times, but each of them had dreams. Everyone has faults. We all need to grow into our strengths, but also come to understand how it affects those around us. That was what I tried to teach them. I put everything I had into my baby lesson plans, and in just one year the students were coming along brilliantly.

"When they graduated, they had all earned their way into their top schools. As a graduation present, they gifted me with a golden tie pin, the same shape as the oak leaves on the mountain trees. I promised to cherish it... Oh, how time had flied. They had grown into such wonderful students.

"Parents saw my track record. Soon, students enrolled from all over. Three short years later, and my little cram school was booming. One day, I received a call from Ikeda. We chatted for a bit, catching up, and we promised to get dinner sometime. Naturally, I would pay. As it so happened, I had business in that neck of the woods the next week, so I decided to stop by. When I arrived at his house, carrying a basketball with me in case he wanted to play, I couldn't believe what I was seeing.

"They said it was suicide. An older boy on his baseball team had driven Ikeda to it, beating him up and stealing money. Still, though, he never once tried to stand up for himself.

"What had I been teaching them? How to be good students? What was I thinking? Does dying make you a good student? No. I had an obligation to make them strong, or this would have been for nothing. But then... what _is_ strength? Until I had the answer, I had no right to teach.

"From there, things changed quickly. I learned all sorts of strengths, martial arts among them. I sweet-talked the men who drove my student to suicide, put them on the road to a disastrous gambling addiction. That's how I fine-tuned my brainwashing techniques.

"Soon, I opened a new school. The old campus building would symbolize my weakness, and stand as a lesson to others. _Strong_... I wanted to make them strong. Strong young men and women who could survive, sacrificing others if need be. To that end, I would need more funding, more staff. If it could serve my goal, I would use it. When the government approached me and requested the use of my facilities to assassinate a super-creature, I didn't hesitate. All to educate. To breed true strength.

"Yet, here I stand. Abandoned by the strong and the weak alike. The only thing that stands before me... is certain death."

* * *

I stared at Principal Asano as he fell silent, still staring at the final problem book.

Holy...

How am I supposed to react to that? I... I just don't know. Your past experiences never excuse your actions, I knew that well enough, but... like me, he wasn't making excuses. It was just a simple recounting of how he had been brought to this point, where his only option was to die.

He'd chosen to become strong after learning that his previous idea of strength had been flawed, and had led to his student's death. Was that really so different from what I'd done? I chose to become strong by relying on Kana and everyone, by trusting them and letting them into my heart.

I couldn't hate him, not anymore. No matter how much I wanted to.

"What will it be, Principal?" Korosensei asked after a few seconds. "Will you open the last book, or fold? You may be an exceptional human being, sir," he said, "but taking a grenade blast won't end well for you."

"This was _your_ idea, in case you forgot," Yoshida called out. "But hey, it's no big deal. Just gracefully admit defeat!"

Idiot. Someone like Principal Asano...

Asano's eyes sharpened and stared daggers at Yoshida. He whimpered and shifted close to Kataoka for safety.

Yeah. Telling someone like Principal Asano to admit defeat was just asking to fail. With a quiet snort, Kataoka pushed Yoshida away by the cheek. "And just so you're aware, fire Korosensei all you want, it doesn't make a difference to us."

Kanzaki smiled. "Don't get us wrong," the elegant girl said. "It'll be sad to leave this place behind. But whatever comes, we're going right along with him."

The display of affection from his students made Korosensei start to cry. He dabbed at his eyes with a tissue. Meanwhile, Isogai said, "That's right. Even if we've gotta run away from home or hole up in a cave, it's not over until March."

We all watched as Principal Asano's eyes swept over us, noting our faces. While I may have been unable to hate _him_ , I could still hate his actions, and my face was set in defiance. "Why _have_ I indulged you this far?" he asked rhetorically. "E Class has been a thorn in my side all year. Such presumptuous, bald-faced defiance... Such disdain..." I could tell it irked Principal Asano to see the same look on twenty-eight faces. Eventually, he stared straight at Korosensei. "Korosensei," he said. "You may well destroy the Earth. Even so, as far as my educational philosophy..." His eyes were wide and staring as he reached forward. "It would make absolutely no difference whatsoever."

He opened the book.

E Class gasped in shock.

The grenade clicked as the lever flipped up -

-then it exploded, sending a shockwave rippling outward with a wave of heat. Fire plumed upwards and out, nearly scorching my vision as the class ducked behind the windows for safety. I rubbed at my eyes, trying to somehow rub out the spots of my temporarily damaged vision, but it would just take time.

Eventually, I could see again. As soon as I could, I peeked back in.

Korosensei was standing over Principal Asano, laughing in that way of his as the smoke started to clear. "Nue-heh-heh-heh," he laughed. " _Somebody_ forgot about my molt!"

Sure enough, Principal Asano had been protected from the blast by Korosensei's shed skin, the exact same way he'd protected Nagisa from similar injuries back at the very beginning of the year. The desks were splintered and shattered, and there were scorch marks on the floor, but Principal Asano himself seemed unharmed.

"Hm," the principal said, lightly touching the rubbery skin, "your once-a-month trick. And why, precisely," he asked as two of Korosensei's tentacles removed the skin from over him, "would you not use it on yourself?"

"Because I was saving it for you, you silly man," Korosensei said, folding the skin neatly and draping it over his arm. "I suspected that if I won, you would think nothing of blowing yourself to bits."

Principal Asano's eyes widened almost imperceptibly. "But..." he said, gathering his feet underneath him and standing up, "how could you be so sure what I'd do?"

"Because we have a lot in common." Korosensei's simple answer made Principal Asano's eye twitch. "We're both stubborn education fiends, willing to forfeit our lives for the privilege of molding young minds. I hope you won't mind, but I took the liberty of speaking to your old cram school students. I wanted to get their impressions of you as a teacher. Imagine my surprise," Korosensei said, "upon learning the idea of teaching you exemplified twelve years ago, is identical to mine. Though as far as students are concerned, I've been lucky. E Class is a marvelous proving ground. There are a fair number of students, you see, and they all share the same predicament. These boys and girls work as a team - unafraid to ask for help, or to hold each other up.

"And, if I may point out," Korosensei said, "credit for conceiving of, and implementing, this class goes first and foremost to you. There you have it. Don't you see, sir? You've been abiding by the same vision you began with all along."

My eyes were drawn to the golden tie pin Principal Asano was wearing. It was a golden oak leaf, exactly like the kind that were starting to fall with the season's change.

Korosensei lifted up an Anti-Korosensei knife, holding it with a handkerchief. "Incidentally," he said, "I'm the only thing this knife can kill. The taking of human life plays no part in our approach. You and I are one and the same, Principal. We don't teach killing, we teach life. So why not stay true to ourselves, and continue down this road?" he asked, offering the knife to Principal Asano.

Principal Asano stared at the blade. "My philosophy has always been right on the nose," he said. "Students have to be strong. My successes over the past twelve years prove this." He took the knife. "And I suppose, so long as you acknowledge its proper function... I see no reason why you and E Class can't remain here as you are." The tip of the knife pressed against the oak leaf.

"Nue-heh-heh-heh," Korosensei laughed. "Still too proud to admit defeat, I see."

"Oh, and," Principal Asano added, "do you mind if I... pop by and try my hand at killing you once in a while?"

Nagisa laughed in relief. It looked like the danger of E Class being destroyed had passed, for now.

Korosensei smiled. "Be my guest. Always happy to oblige a worthy rival."

Principal Asano nodded and strode out of the room.

I was waiting for him as the rest of E Class re-entered our classroom to begin cleaning up the damages. "Yes, Nick?" he asked, looking at me. "Can I help you?"

I studied him silently for a few seconds. The warped feeling he'd been giving off... It was gone now. "I just... wanted to say, sir," I said slowly. "Killing... whenever and wherever you like... It's not a sign of strength." The Laughing Coffin murderers had never been strong, no matter what PoH's ideology was. Come to think of it... PoH had a great many similarities with the principal, didn't he? A charismatic leader, capable of driving his followers to great lengths in the name of being strong. Perhaps that's why I hated him, instinctively.

But that was then. Principal Asano was no longer that man, with far too many similarities to an insane killer. The principal looked at me, eyes thoughtful. In the end, he didn't choose to question how or why I believed that. His eyes softened a little bit as a small smile twitched at his lips. "I see," he said. "Well then. Perhaps it's a good thing Korosensei has taught you the way he has. I expect you to continue surprising me, Nick."

...I feel like I've been complimented, in some obscure way.

"Yes, sir," I said, nodding. "If you'll excuse me, I have to go catch up with the others.

"Off you go, then."

I nodded politely before walking in to the classroom. The damage wasn't as bad as I'd originally thought, but the floorboards at the center of the explosion were still burnt and cracked. Everything would have to be replaced, it looked like.

The next day, we got started on the reconstruction of our campus building. The banging of hammers filled the air as we all rolled up our sleeves and got to work. "So..." Sugaya muttered through a mouthful of nails, "how come we're the ones fixing the building?"

Muramatsu grinned. "The principal said, 'Oh, all you need is one classroom.' I swear, he doesn't know anything about us, y'know?"

Kurahashi was busy passing out snacks to the workers. Mm... delicious food... "Oh yeah, Korosensei!" she said suddenly. "You said you were going to teach us another of your weaknesses as a reward for the test!"

"Nue-heh-heh-heh," Korosensei laughed. "Indeed I did. And since you worked so hard, I'll reveal another of my critical weaknesses. You see," he said, lifting a hammer, "I have in fact, very little power. I've put too many points into my SPD stat. When at a perfect standstill, one of my tentacles could be held down even by a certain person. As a rule," he said, "the most I can do with a single tentacle finger is to poke someone in the forehead."

Korosensei Weakness Number Thirty-Seven: Can be captured if everyone holds him down.

"Hey, wait," Hara said. "If eight of us teamed up on you all at once..."

Nakamura frowned. "You're saying we could essentially paralyze you, right?"

"I get it!" Mimura exclaimed, grabbing at a tentacle. The slimy appendage slipped out of his grasp before he could get a good hold. Okuda did the same, but the tentacle slipped away before she could pin it to the ground.

Yada tried too. "I get... it..." she said, fruitlessly grabbing at the air.

"This is bunk!" Maehara shouted. "You only told us 'cause you knew it'd be impossible!"

Korosensei lifted up on his tentacles, snatching them away as the students tried desperately to grab hold and make use of this new weakness. Well, you idiots, of course it's not going to work, he's on his guard about it. That's, like, textbook 'Don't throw me in the briar patch' right there. C'mon now. Don't be dumb.

Okano managed to grab on to a tentacle, but she wasn't able to pin it down; instead, it waved around in the air, forcing her to yell out and cling on tight to avoid getting thrown off. A few students counted down from three in an attempt to coordinate a strike, but it was useless. Korosensei just snatched his tentacles away at the last second.

Gods, it's like when I'm playing with my cat and tugging the shoestring away from him at the last second. He loves that game, but... that is because he is a cat. We are not cats.

This is stupid.

"Hmm..." Korosensei mused, going pale white as he pretended to think. "Not having any luck? The trick is to pretend you're hand-fishing for slime eels."

...This is _really_ stupid...

* * *

"A _drama_ festival?!" everyone exploded at Isogai's news, staring at the handout he'd given us.

"We just can't catch a break!" Kimura complained.

Hayami sighed. "Ah... I really wanted to work on our winter vacation assassination plans."

Okajima smacked the handout. "And like usual, we don't get a big enough budget _and_ we have to carry all our stuff down here. And on top of that, we're the only ones who have to perform while everyone's eating."

"They're gonna eat us alive!" Kurahashi complained.

The reconstruction was only halfway-done, and now we had to put on a play? This was so incredibly stupid. "And we still have to take high school entrance exams!" Maehara protested. Heh. I don't have to do that~. To my right, Karma was just casually playing his handheld console. Yeah, we weren't worried about those.

"I know, I know," Isogai said. "I did complain to the student council. Asano fired back, though. 'What's the problem? Memorizing lines and stage directions quickly is good mental exercise. It's part of the curriculum. Besides... you'll figure something out. You always do.'"

Nakamura rested her cheek on her hand. "At least he gave us respect."

Karma brightened up. "You can be the leading lady, Nagisa!" he said, holding up a poster. It read, 'Sada Abe: This is Mine', with a woman holding up an elephant in the palm of her hand. "Just, y'know, throwing it out there." I grimaced and crossed my legs.

"Why do I get a bad feeling about this," Nagisa muttered.

"What about Kayano?" Kanzaki suggested. The girl in question jumped, startled. "The preschoolers adored you. You had them on the edge of their seats."

"Um, I don't know about -" Kayano started to say-

-only to be interrupted by Terasaka. "That ain't gonna play in junior high," he said. "People need to identify with the main character."

I grinned. "It worked last time because Kayano has the same physique as the preschoolers," I snarked.

As Terasaka and I laughed, Kayano glared at us. Shortly after, two school bags went flying and smacked us both in the face. "Shut up!" Kayano snapped, before dusting off her hands from a job well done. _Scary_. I reeled back but recovered gracefully - unlike Terasaka, who ended up toppling over onto the floor - and checked out the bag before tossing it back to Nagisa. "I'd rather be in charge of props, anyway," she said.

"Right. So then, for our main crew," Isogai said. "Mimura will direct, and Hazama will write, naturally. Thoughts on our leads?" See, this is why he's a good leader. I might know all of our classmates' talents and be able to pull them up, but Isogai makes it sound natural for them to fall into that role. I knew Mimura already, but Hazama – the only girl in Terasaka's group – hadn't really crossed my mind right away.

"Y'know, I'm available," Korosensei said, blushing bright pink.

Everyone immediately opened fire on the idiot pervert chicken octopus. "You're supposed to be a state secret!" Okajima shouted.

"This is our play!" Yoshida shouted. "No adults allowed!"

Korosensei yelped, blurring back and forth to dodge the hail of gunfire. "But I think I'd make a phenomenal lead!" he protested. "What if this is my one and only shot?! You can't deny me the limelight!"

"Alright then," Hazama said, brandishing a pencil. "I have a play. One where you can be the lead without upstaging us. Everybody's happy," she said. Korosensei went bright pink again, his eyes sparkling. Honestly... This stupid octopus. "Also... Sugino, you're going to be a couple with Kanzaki."

Hah! This is priceless. "Really?!" Sugino exclaimed. "You okay with that, Kanzaki? I mean, I'm perfectly happy with it..."

The girl just smiled. "I'm not terribly talented, but I hope that's okay..."

"Y'know," Okuda said to Sugino, "everyone can hear you." The boy was blushing and probably just saying anything that came into his head.

I'm actually glad I probably wasn't going to have to be on stage. I know it was weird, given what I _did_ every day, but I was actually pretty terrible at acting.

"My goal is to make all my partners in crime happy," Hazama said, scribbling in her notebook. "All that takes is an assassin skilled in rhetoric."

Heh... She's started changing too, I think. She used to just be all doom and gloom, sticking to her corner of the room, but now look at her.

"Great!" Isogai said. "Sounds like a plan."

Maehara grinned. "Let's put on a show the likes of which those main campus chumps have never seen!"

Let's be about it, people.

Finally, the day of the play came. We were presenting during the lunch hour, so naturally people were eating. I checked out the audience from the shadows of the curtain - they didn't notice me, of course - and ducked back. "Ready to rock and roll," I said. "They're all just about to start eating."

"Perfect," Hazama said, grinning darkly.

This is gonna be good.

The buzzer sounded to signal the start of our play, and the auditorium went dark. Instantly, we all sprang into action, wheeling our one and only prop onto the center stage.

Once we were ready, I waved, giving our tech crew the signal, and Fuwa flipped the switch. A single spotlight shone down on the pedestal in the center of the stage, revealing a massive pink peach.

Welcome to the Tale of Momotaro, E Class style, Kunugigaoka. Hope you enjoy~.

"A peach," Ritsu said, piping her audio through the audio channels. She was our narrator, since she couldn't contribute any other way.

Naturally, the peach was Korosensei.

Two more spotlights lit up, illuminating our star performers; Kanzaki, who was wearing a wig to have greying hair, and Sugino. Both were dressed as older adults. "The greatest medical minds are baffled," Kanzaki said, staring at the ground demurely, "but by some strange miracle there is a baby growing inside."

Sugino's fae twisted with greed. "Upon hearing this," Ritsu continued, "the old man's eyes light up. 'Excellent,' he thought. 'This peach will bring riches!'"

Sugino stood up. "What a stroke of luck!" he announced, spreading his arms. "A miracle indeed! People will pay good money to see this peach, they'll come from far and wide! I'll be richer than any king!"

He cut off his delusions of grandeur as Kanzaki silently pushed a paper forward. The projector in the back lit up with a closer view of what exactly was in use. "Divorce papers," Ritsu intoned. "The old woman had been thinking of leaving him for some time. His greed, choice of words, and complete disregard for child welfare decided her." Sugino was trembling with well-feigned rage. Meanwhile, I was doing my best to stifle my laughter; I had looked at my phone to see that Ritsu had created a little sound-proof recording booth to read her lines, even with a pair of headphones and the script in front of her. "At long last, she'd had enough of his selfish nature. Their marriage was over. For good."

I glanced at the audience. Yes, excellent, they're all staring blankly at us and _not_ eating.

"The rift between them," Ritsu said as a shower of beads started pouring from above, the special effects leading into actual real beads on the stage courtesy of Kayano, "was as wide as the river in which she'd washed his clothes for over thirty years without thanks or acknowledgement. The atmosphere had become as dry and as suffocating as the smoke from a mountain wildfire." Off-stage, Yada and Mimura had hooked up a smoke projector, using it to flood the stage with fog.

"The peach rightfully belongs to me," Sugino declared grimly. "I am the head of this household!" he shouted. "Do you understand, woman? I'll decide how to divide our property!"

Another pair of spotlights snapped on, illuminating Takebayashi and Kataoka, both dressed in snappy suits. "Lawyers," Ritsu said as Takebayashi adjusted his glasses.

Takebayashi said, "We'll be representing your wife from here on out. Any and all communication must be handled through our office directly."

Kataoka was staring at Sugino like he was the scum of the earth. "Regarding the miracle peach," she said, "since this marriage has technically been on the rocks for over a decade, we're well past the mandated cut-off date for carving up your combined assets. Oh, and fair warning?" she said as Sugino trembled, clutching at his head with rage. "Our client is seeking reparations for emotional distress."

"For thirty years, she'd borne her husband's cruelty. His disinterest. Not only had he consistently failed to bring home the bacon, the old woman possessed incontrovertible evidence of his infidelity. In court, he wouldn't have a prayer."

I bit at my lip, trying not to laugh and break the somber mood of backstage. Seriously, though, the 'proof' of infidelity was a picture of Sugino posing with Yada and Professor Bitch, both women dressed as paid escorts.

"In desperation," Ritsu said as the projected image changed to show Terasaka and his thugs acting like hooligans, "he hired a band of thugs to strong-arm her." The slide changed to Nakamura dressed as a cop, with all three of them tied up. Right on cue, Nakamura walked onstage with the three following her, their wrists tied together with rope. "But being incompetent, they were hauled off by police."

The lights went black for an instant, before the spotlights on the Koropeach and Kanzaki turned back on. Kanzaki was smiling happily, no longer just blankly staring ahead. "The old woman shed her misery, and started over. She gave her miracle pride of place in her lovely new home. Life was sweet, as it had been in her youth. Happiness and serenity had surrounded her."

Kanzaki gathered up a pile of the blue beads that had acted as the river, before standing up and tossing them in a spray. "Hooray!" she cheered.

The lights went dark again, and the players scrambled. Once everyone was in place, the show continued. In the dark, a whip cracked. The lights turned on to show Sugino watching Maehara, Okajima, and Itona gobble rice balls, the three boys dressed as the three animal companions of Momotaro. "A dog, a monkey, and a pheasant," Ritsu said. "An unlikely trio, trained to attack human beings. Devouring their food with the abandon of wild animals, in thrall to their wicked master. All-consuming greed had driven the old man to unspeakable evil. Perhaps the fabled demon-haunted island of Onigashima is none other than the human heart..."

The lights flashed again, revealing the Koropeach. "The miracle peach will bear its child very soon," Ritsu said. That was my cue! I nodded to Karma, who was crouched next to me at the front of the audience, and we flicked on our flashlights. The pink-tinted light cast an ominous shadow on the Koropeach. "Will it, too, be prey to demons?"

"Nue-hah-hah-hah..." Koropeach laughed as the lights faded out to an ominous organ note being held, Karma and I twisting the dimmer switches on our lights.

Once everything was dark, we booked it out of there. We didn't want to be in the way of what was going to happen in three... two... one...

"Great!" some of the people in the audience shouted, starting to fling food and water. "My appetite's ruined!"

Yes. Perfect. If we can't eat lunch, _you_ can't either.

Hazama laughed darkly. "Say what you will about my writing style," she muttered, "words leave an unmistakable mark."

I peeked out at the audience, having already picked out Asano in the crowd. "Tch..." the boy muttered angrily. "What the hell did I just sit through?!"

To be fair, this was your own fault in the first place.

"They're booing us like crazy!" Isogai laughed.

Mimura said, "Quick, let's go grab Korosensei!"

People ran on-stage to wheel Korosensei away, ducking and dodging the thrown food and bottles. I waited in the wings for them, grinning widely at the success of our plan to assassinate their lunch. Korosensei was having the time of his laugh, laughing and grinning even while people were heckling us.

Yeah, okay, this was worth it.

* * *

 **So hey! Principal Asano is no longer a massive jerk. Also, Nick got first place on the tests. Hooray!**

 **Anyone that's watched the show might notice that this combined two episodes. This is largely because I put the question-solving in last chapter; I wanted to keep most of the exam together, so the first half of this chapter was the results of the test. Nick did a good job, but at the same time he doesn't really take pride in any of his accomplishments? It's a thing with him, remember. He's slowly getting better about it, though. On the other hand, he is starting to enjoy being with his classmates more and more.**

 **It's a shame I can't show off what's going on in A Class. Asano and the Big Five have a really cool moment, where they stand up to Principle Asano and ask to be put in E Class if their failure wasn't acceptable, since** _ **they think they'll learn and grow more there**_ **. That was when Nick got that feeling of Principal Asano getting his shit wrecked, by the by. It's like this weird** _ **knowing**_ **feeling, where he's smiling for no reason as his spine twitches.**

 **The second half of the chapter is dealing with Principal Asano. I really would have loved to actually include the flashback itself – fun fact, the guy voicing Ikeda in the dub is the same voice actor as Kazuto! – but it would have been boring since it would have just been the same as the source material. Instead, we just have Principal Asano rambling like a madman. …Progress? It was the best way of going into his motivations I had, since they were actually really important. Oh well. (The SPD stat is just a throwaway joke, Korosensei doesn't know that he's part of a virtual world)**

 **And in the end, Nick got to enjoy thoroughly wrecking the lunch of those main campus jerks. Things you might need to look up: Who exactly Sada Abe is; and the Legend of Momotaro. It's not** _ **really**_ **important (one's a throwaway joke, and the other is kinda pointless given what Hazama did to the story) but still, context.**

 **Many thanks to everyone that favorited, followed, or reviewed.**

* * *

"Surprise!"

 _Tell us, Kunudon!_

The acorn slides on screen. "Whew, that festival was a real white-knuckler. Fwah!" Kunudon wipes away sweat. "But it looks like those E Class losers are down for the count at last!"

 _That's all she wrote!_

Kunudon laughs gleefully, smugly clapping. "Hahahaha!" Kunudon presses up against the camera. "Hey there, losers!"

 _Just desserts! Yay!_

While Kunudon is laughing smugly, before coughing briefly, Principal Asano steps smoothly in view behind the acorn. "Heheh… Mr. Principal!" Kunudon says. "W-What brings you into the studio?"

Instead of replying, the Principal reaches into his jacket pocket and pulls out a sheet of paper.

It reads, 'Frankly, you lack the elegance to be our mascot, so you're going down to E Class. That's all, folks!'

 _Notice of dismissal!_

Kunudon trembles, eyes wide and a small trail of spit dribbling out of the acorn's mouth. "I'm… being moved… to E Class?"

 _Hooray for unemployment! Woohoo!_

 **These Kunudon segments are a treasure.**


	13. Secret Identity Time

**Chapter 13: Secret Identity Time**

* * *

"How about that play, huh?" Nagisa asked. "Talk about fun."

It'd been a day since the play, and most people in the class were still talking about it. Case in point, Nagisa's words during our break between classes; a few of us had gathered around the star of the play's desk to discuss it. Karma and I were standing off to the side, while Kanzaki leaned against the desk on the other side of Sugino.

Who, as it turned out, wasn't a huge fan of how his character made him act, if his moans, groans, and head planted firmly on the desk were any indication. Sugaya grinned. "Sugino gave the performance of a lifetime," the artist said.

"Didn't know you had it in you to make such an evil face," Hazama said.

Sugino just looked up at us, eyes dead. "The whole time, all I could think about was how it must have looked to Kanzaki..." His forehead hit the desk again. "I was hideous. She probably hates me now."

The gamer girl just smiled gently. "That's not true, silly," she said to him. "I... actually thought it was cool you could be so believable in the role."

"Seriously?!" Sugino yelped, shooting up and staring at her. His cheeks were a little red. "Wow, maybe I should retire from baseball and pursue acting!"

"And here we see a traditional example of the desperate male flirting in the wild," I muttered to Karma. He just grinned slightly.

Seriously, that kid was so _incredibly_ desperate it was almost painful to watch Kanzaki smile at him. Poor guy... and poor girl, come to think about it. She was just too nice to hurt his feelings.

"No need to pick one over the other," Korosensei said. "Pitchers need to act. Ah, what a pleasure to see unexpected talent on full display."

I twitched suddenly and glanced over at the door; I must have just barely noticed it out of the corner of my eye, but Kayano was waving from the doorway. It wasn't for me - she was looking at Nagisa, who'd made eye contact with her - but I followed the blue-haired kid out of the classroom anyway out of curiosity.

Kayano just smiled. "Can you help - oh, hi Nick," she said as I poked my head around the corner.

"Asking for Nagisa's help?" I asked.

She nodded. "Yeah. Oh, actually this is perfect. You can help out too."

I Just shrugged. "Sure, whatever," I said.

After Kayano showed us exactly what we'd be helping her with, I regretted my decision. "Oh man," Nagisa sighed as we looked at the floor of the equipment shed. It was totally covered in little blue beads of varying colors and shapes; they were the ones we'd used in the play, only, uh... last time I saw them, they weren't everywhere. "That's gonna be a pain to clean up."

"Yeah, I was putting stuff away and my hand slipped," Kayano sighed, fidgeting in place. "Sorry. These are the beads we used for the river in our play. I got 'em on loan from a prop supply store, and if we don't give all of them back we'll have to pay for replacements."

Nagisa smiled. "No worries. We'll tackle it together - you too, Nick."

I sighed from where I'd been trying to silently sneak away. "Backstabber," I muttered as I joined them. Still, I said I'd help out, so I needed to help out; I'd given my word, so it was inviolate.

"Thanks, you two!" Kayano chirped.

We got started cleaning up the beads Kayano had spilled everywhere. I grabbed a broom and started sweeping the beads into large piles, while Nagisa and Kayano scooped them up and poured the piled beads into the buckets she'd already brought over. It was tedious, mind-numbing work, but it wasn't any worse than when I helped Sugu clean the dojo.

"I didn't want to get in the way of everybody's assassination plans," Kayano said, "so, y'know..."

I just chuckled. "I don't really have a job to do until they lock down the location," I said absently. "I'm just not creative enough to do a good job when things are that open-ended, I guess."

"Ah-hah!" Korosensei said, from behind us. I whirled, automatically holding the broom as if it were an actual blade, before realizing it was just Korosensei and going back to the sweeping. Kayano and Nagisa turned around with curious noises as Korosensei walked in. "I was wondering where the three of you suddenly disappeared to."

"Hehehe..." Kayano laughed.

Korosensei smiled. "I'm glad to be of assistance if needed!"

"Oh!" Kayano said, smiling. "That'd be wonderful, sir." She must be embarrassed that Korosensei caught her in the act of cleaning up after her spill. Her words were a little hesitant. "I think some got in between the furniture. So could you-?"

"Of course," Korosensei said, kneeling down without a second question. "I see quite a bit of it is broken, so I won't use my Mach speed to clean up instantly."

Still, he was cleaning at a good pace faster than we were, tossing handfuls of beads into the bucket. "Hup hep hiyah hep!" He was still blurring around back and forth, scooping up beads from those hard to reach places. Hey, at least I don't have to do it, now.

Beside me, Nagisa reached into his sweater pocket. A faint tinge of bloodlust curled around him as he gripped the pistol there and partially drew it out of the inside pocket. I was about to lightly bop him on the head with the broom handle - you idiot, there's no way it'd be this easy, or we would have graduated in May - when he obviously came to the same conclusion and put the gun away. Kayano, Nagisa, and I shared a sheepish grin.

Suddenly, Korosensei came to a dead halt. Did he sense the bloodlust, or... "Something smells fishy," he declared.

I sniffed a few times myself, and blinked. Huh. He's right. There is the faint smell of wood smoke and fish.

"Oh," Kayano said. "During the school festival, we used this place to smoke fish." Makes sense. It's a tight, enclosed place with nowhere for the smoke to go once the door and single window is closed, so everything would cook properly. "So many different school events," she said as she kneeled on the ground, holding a dust-bin for Nagisa to sweep beads into.

"Uh huh, no kidding," Nagisa said. "Feels weird. Once this is all cleared up, it'll all be behind us."

He wasn't wrong. Right now, everyone would be concentrating on the assassination, but we weren't _always_ assassins. During the school festival, and the sports festival, and the field trip... I almost felt like a regular student.

Kayano smiled. "Yeah, lots of memories, though. Makes me think of the first time Korosensei showed up here."

"Nue-heh-heh-heh," Korosensei laughed smugly. "You children were complete amateurs back then."

I rolled my eyes. "Bah," I grumbled.

Nagisa just smiled. "I know," he said in good humor. "I couldn't get anywhere near you." Except when you blew yourself up? "Neither could Sugino."

"Remember how when Karma came, he grilled you about Korosensei, and even then nothing happened?" Kayano asked. I remember that, yeah. Karma got completely dunked on back then.

"Or how jealous I was of Itona?" Nagisa continued. "I was _so_ sure he was gonna get him first."

I grinned. "I remember you not being Professor Bitch's biggest fan when she first showed up, Kayano," I said. "Or, uh, maybe just the biggest fan of a certain part of her."

Kayano muttered, "Yeah, for good reason."

Nagisa and I moved on to sweeping near the entrance of the shed while Kayano put the full bucket away. Behind us, Korosensei exclaimed, "Oh-ho! Another of Okajima's hidey-holes apparently." I rolled my eyes and didn't bother looking. Seriously, does that kid do anything _other_ than look at porn?

As I absently swept, I sighed. This really was fun, I guess. Of course, I obviously missed my family. I loved every single one of them, more than words could really say, and Kana most of all. Every day I didn't get to see her was just another ache in my heart. But, at the same time, I'd managed to make... well, friends in this class. People that I could laugh and joke with. Go swimming with. Talk about ridiculous things like jello blades.

Weird sentences like that, honestly, should probably never be spoken out loud, but we'd said them in this classroom.

I turned to say something to Kayano, since we were all reminiscing. I wanted to tease her about being Forever Flat that day when we all called each other by code names. But as I turned, something felt wrong. The air was moving strangely. There was an extra presence in the room.

My eyes widened when I finally saw the cause.

Tentacles.

Green tentacles.

Growing out of Kayano's neck.

"What..." I breathed, feeling a shiver run down my neck and through my body. It was the same chill I felt when I faced Death Gun, last December.

"A true blade... I have more than one," Kayano said. "Didn't you notice?"

Her normally cute voice was dark and menacing.

"Nueh?" Korosensei exclaimed, jolting in surprise.

Kayano _struck_ , her tentacles slamming into him - no, the ground beneath him.

The wall shattered, the ground cracking under the tremendous force of the impact. I grunted and shielded my eyes from the cloud of dust and wood, wincing as slivers of wood rained over me and sliced at my hand.

"Guah!" Korosensei shrieked as he toppled. "A pitfall!"

The concrete floor had been pulverized under Kayano's initial strike, but it should have just been dirt underneath. Instead, it was a massive pit, so dark I could barely see anything.

Kayano plunged after him seconds later. "Oh, Korosensei," her voice floated up towards us. "How I love you. Please die."

To my right, Nagisa had fallen to his knees from the surprise of the sudden blow - and probably because of the shock of seeing Kayano with tentacles. I'm not sure how I managed to stay upright. "Kayano..." he whispered, staring blankly at the hole in the ground.

It's one of those weird moments, where I _know_ for a fact I didn't have time to think of everything that I remembered thinking about, when looking back. Out of curiosity, later that day I measured the depth of the pit, to get an idea into how long Kayano had been planning this, and at the speed Kayano and Korosensei were falling, I would have had seconds at best before they hit the bottom. But still, my mind remembered clearly going over the plan that Kayano had set up in secret.

We'd seen assassin after assassin pick up the gauntlet Korosensei had thrown down, and ultimately fail. A sniper, ultra-high technology, hostages, the Reaper... They all failed. But, in the end, the most effective, and the one that would have succeeded without the help of Mr. Karasuma, was the Reaper's plot, with the pitfall trap.

Kayano would lure Korosensei over to the pitfall and bait the trap with porn magazines stolen or bought from Okajima; we all knew Korosensei's tastes in women ran in line with the E Class pervert's, so Kayano probably didn't try to reinvent the wheel. Then, while Korosensei was plunged into the pit, she'd use her tentacles to stop Korosensei from escaping - we all knew how to do that, of course, and with the physical boosts granted by tentacles Kayano was more than able to intercept Korosensei's attempts to escape. This would be easier because Korosensei would be rattled by Kayano's reveal of owning tentacles.

Then, at the bottom, a pool of Anti-Korosensei pellets would seal his doom.

I couldn't have put all of that together in the two seconds since Kayano attacked, but that's what I remembered.

I was just about to run over to the pit to see if I could do... anything, really, when a white glow started emanating from the depths. My eyes widened; I recognized that glow. Immediately, I turned and bolted, roughly tackling Nagisa to keep him down on the ground. Pain flared up one of my legs but I didn't have enough time to pay attention

For the second time the earth heaved. The ground shuddered, and the light died away.

Wait, so he... Doesn't matter.

Outside, I heard something burst from the ground, so I scrambled to my feet. After helping Nagisa stand, the two of us ran outside to see Korosensei on his hand-tentacles and knee-tentacles, panting for breath. Behind him was a massive hole in the dirt. The rest of the class was standing outside, probably attracted by the series of explosions.

"Korosensei, are you alright?" Nagisa asked. I tried to take a step towards our panting teacher, but my knee buckled as fire raced through my leg and I started to topple with a muted grunt of surprise. Isogai grabbed my arm, though, and put his arm around my back to keep me upright.

Shit... must have hurt something when I had to turn and bolt from the light.

"What in the world..." Isogai said. "What just happened?"

The wood of the shed roof exploded outwards as a dark figure soared in the air, shadowed as we looked up. I exhaled briefly and Isogai gasped as the person landed lightly on the roof.

Kayano stared down at us, eyes cold and harsh. Her tentacles twisted and squirmed in the air, her hair out of its usual pigtails and falling to her back in waves. "You destroyed the wall with your beam and escaped that way? ...Clever," she said. "I just instinctively put up a guard. Then again, you'd never kill your own student."

Okuda gasped, and Kanzaki murmured, "Are those what I think?"

"Since when does Kayano have tentacles?" Kataoka asked.

Kayano ignored the cries of her classmates and just shook her head in disappointment. "Aw, damn it. And I attacked you with everything I had. You're slipperier than I thought, clearly."

It didn't sound like Kayano. It sounded like someone pretending to be Kayano, or at least playing at being an evil version of her; the same way that my voice dropped in pitch when I was being serious, or when I was truly mad, her voice had lowered too. It sounded full of bloodlust.

"Kaede," Korosensei said, straightening up. His voice was ragged. "What is the meaning of this?!"

"Oh yeah," Kayano said casually. "Sorry. FYI, my real name's not Kaede. I'm Aguri Yukimura's little sister." Whoever Aguri Yukimura was, Isogai seemed to recognize the name, because his shoulder went tense. "You get it now, don't you? _Murderer_ ," Kayano growled.

Hara frowned. "Yukimura... Wait!"

I quietly slipped my arm off of Isogai's neck; as long as I didn't try to move, my leg was fine, and it seemed like the pain had gone down. Probably just a strain from reversing direction so quickly.

Kayano's face looked cruel and grim, and I barely recognized her.

"Oh well," the girl said, sighing. "No point crying over spilled milk. I'll just have to reset. Let's give it another whirl tomorrow, Korosensei," she said, glaring at the octopus before loosening the tie around her neck. She seemed flushed. "Don't worry, I'll tell you where. Now that we've fought, tentacle to tentacle..." She smirked. "I'm feeling pretty good about this. Like I can kill you."

Her tentacles whipped out, latching onto the tree branch nearby, before she flung herself off into the distance.

Korosensei and the rest of the class stared at the distance, where Kayano had disappeared into the forest, silently. "It's unthinkable," Itona said, breaking the silence first. "If she grew those tentacles without a maintenance regimen, the pain would've been beyond hellish. There's no way she could have powered through... not with a straight face."

"Yeah, whatever," Maehara said. "I'm stuck on her being Yukimura's little sister."

I glanced around, gingerly shifting so that I could see the whole class. "I don't even know who that is," I said. "Mind enlightening me?"

Sugino glanced at me. "Oh yeah, you came in April, right? She used to be our homeroom teacher, before Korosensei..."

Everyone seemed shaken. What happened to her?

To my right, Mimura was scrolling through his phone. "Oh man, unbelievable!" he exclaimed. "I thought I recognized Kayano from somewhere. Seeing her with her hair down and that evil look on her face jogged my memory."

Our phones all lit up as Ritsu kindly loaded the page he was showing Isogai, and I glanced over it. "Do you remember Haruna Mase?" Kimura asked. I looked at the image, and yeah, that's definitely Kayano. The face and eyes were right, at least, even if the hair was black instead of green and she wasn't wearing the school uniform. "The acting prodigy, who'd disappear into any role they threw at her? She turned her back on the business years ago. She looks and acts so different now, I-I didn't even make the connection!"

This was... all just a role to her?

Then... which was the real Kayano? Was this one all just a lie? Had she been lying to me, to us the whole time? Had this all just been an act so she could betray us in the end?

My heart started pounding as a shiver ran down my spine.

...No.

No, that can't be the whole story. No actor can pull off a role that convincingly for so long without some part of it being true. This might have been a surprise, but I don't yet think it was a betrayal.

I just... didn't know what to think.

* * *

The example, as Kikuoka so blandly named it, was horrifying. Higa had apparently successfully cloned his own soul - but at first the clone demanded to be let out of the dark environment it had been trapped in, and then when confronted with the truth that it was a clone it imploded in on itself, breaking down in terrifying fashion after just four minutes and twenty-seven seconds after creation. My thumb tapped at my index finger, where Nick had mentioned that ring of his; that was so that he could avoid panicking like that, I realized. To accept the truth of his reality.

Asuna was covering her mouth in horror, and Kikuoka was kind enough to kick a chair over to her gently. She immediately took it and sat down. "Are you alright?" the agent asked.

"Ahh..." Asuna nodded firmly. "I'm sorry. I'm fine now."

"Don't force yourself," Koujiro said, softly patting Asuna's shoulders. "It's better to close your eyes and relax. And you, Kana?"

I jumped slightly, but shook my head. "I'm fine, really. It's... Something Nick said helped me feel okay. His little trick to knowing reality."

Kikuoka smiled faintly. "That ring of his, I take it. It's very clever."

"There has to be a limit to the lengths you're going to, Kikuoka," Koujiro scolded the agent.

"I'm sorry, but I suppose you understand why I can't explain this without letting you see it," he sighed and shook his head. "Higa is a genius with an IQ of nearly 140, but when we made a clone of him, it couldn't stand the realization that it was a clone. We made more than ten different Artificial Fluctlights, including mine, but the results were always the same. After about three minutes, their train of logic would start to run rampant without exception." He smiled faintly. "Rythin was one of them, for what it's worth. Although he acknowledged and accepted he was a clone, the Artificial Fluctlight broke down at the realization that he wouldn't see you again, Miss Kana."

Aw... That's so sweet. ...And a little messed up. Is there a word for that? Adorifying, maybe. Maybe if I made my own Fluctlight? ...No, probably not. I don't think the same way he does, so my Fluctlight would probably break down. That's a little depressing...

Apparently, they had some theory about why it happened - humans couldn't accept that they weren't unique existences, and so they break down when confronted with the truth. 'There are some things man was not meant to know' or something like that. Asuna whispered, "...I suppose Kikuoka's met her before in ALO. Yui said that... that she's scared of being cloned. If some accident caused her backup copy to be activated and allowed to take action, they'd most likely fight..."

"How interesting," Higa immediately leaned forward. "Kiku is the only one to meet her? Sneaky, sneaky. Allow me to meet her next -"

"Get near our kids and I'll break you," I declared flatly. Or get Nick to do it. One of the two.

He raised his hands in surrender and leaned back. "But as expected, it's impossible to clone intellect... or rather, the only way to clone intellect is if it's undeveloped..."

"Leaving that aside for now," Koujiro said, "doesn't that mean you failed? Using all of this money, just for these results, is..."

"No, no, no," Kikuoka smiled bitterly. "If that was the extents of our developments, they would have already declared, 'Off with his head!' along with several of the big shots supervising us. In fact, this could be what you call the start of the project. It's impossible to clone a developed soul. So, if that won't work, what do you think we have to do?"

While Koujiro murmured ideas to herself and Higa explained why they wouldn't work, I mulled the problem over myself. If they couldn't clone a developed soul, then that would suggest that maybe an undeveloped soul would be cloneable? But in that case, how would we go about getting an undeveloped soul? Removing all the data, like wiping a hard drive, wouldn't work - adults just didn't learn as well as kids did. It was like how even though Nick and I could both speak English, he was bilingual when I wasn't because he'd been learning from... birth...

"Babies," I whispered, suddenly horrified as the path made itself clear and connected, one node to the next. "You're cloning babies, the human tabula rasa."

At the same time, Asuna stood up suddenly like she'd been scorched. "D-don't tell me, you... you did that? You cloned infants to get flawless Fluctlights?"

Kikuoka smiled, and though it was pure admiration it felt dirty. "You two... Really, such amazing perception. Though, I suppose you did clear that death game of Akihiko Kayaba's, Asuna. It would stand to reason, wouldn't it?"

Asuna glared. "Do you think that... the Self-Defense Force, the country can just do whatever they want? That the ends justify the means?"

"Of course not," Kikuoka shook his head. "But it worked out for you, didn't it? We were able to save Kirito and Rythin because of the extreme measures we took..." I snarled at him. Bastard. "...But, on the other hand," he admitted, "I'm trying my best to keep things civilized, unlike many research enterprises in the world. We obtained permission from the parents of the newborns to scan their Fluctlights, and we gave them ample thanks. Now, granted, we did claim were only obtaining brainwave samples, but that's hardly a lie. Fluctlights are, after all, electric waves inside the brain."

He was right, damn it. It was a trick of language Nick used from time to time - couching his words in vague terms and letting his audience misinterpret. "Don't make excuses," I hissed. "What you're doing is like taking DNA samples from kids that don't know any better and cloning them."

Surprisingly, Higa stepped in at this point, making a large timeout sign with his arms. "Time out, I suppose. While there is the question of morality in secretly cloning newborn Fluctlights, Kiku, Miss... Izawa, was it? You're a little off-base. The Fluctlights don't have any physical differences in them like genes, especially when they're born."

"Like stem cells?" I asked archly.

"Exactly," he said with a small nod. "They're identical to begin with, but after enough time they'll be changed into something completely different. In the end, we managed to clone Artificial Fluctlights of twelve children, and after comparison we found that the brain capacity was no different. Over 99% of the Fluctlights were identical constructs. In other words, the human's thinking ability and personalities are all determined after they're born, completely repudiating the theory that abilities and personalities are inherited by genetics! I can't wait to pierce holes in the eugenics -"

"You can poke holes in it once the plan is complete," Kikuoka sighed with a tired expression. Try as hard as I might, I just can't seem to muster any sympathy for him. Jerk took Nick without telling me. "Anyway, if we carefully eliminate the small difference remaining from the samples, what we're left with is what we call... the Spiritual Prototype, or the Soul Archetype."

Koujiro quirked an eyebrow. "You're dressing it up, but it's really just the 'self' from Jung's Psychology, right?"

Kikuoka just shrugged. "Well, not to get into the details of it, but that's the simplest explanation. Now, what do you think would happen if we just cloned the Spiritual Prototype from the very beginning and placed it in the virtual world?"

I frowned, clicking my teeth in thought. "It would grow up, just like a human child would, wouldn't it? But to imitate growing up in today's society... that's just not possible, is it?"

"Sadly, no," Kikuoka admitted. "It'd still be a virtual world created by the STL. We tried it once already, using Cardinal to duplicate the world's technological advances, but we came to a point where it was either slow down the STL acceleration, or risk the advances not matching up properly, which would..." He shook his head. "Ah- Asuna, Kana, have you ever seen an old movie, made before you were born, where a man's life was aired as a TV show from birth? The perfect city, built in a large domed city designed solely for that purpose, to keep his prison a secret. But eventually the man grew up and found peculiarities and learned the truth, that he was just the star of his own reality show..."

Ah! I actually like that movie! So does Nick - we watched it once, curled up on the couch together. "So... So you need to let them create their own world," I murmured, before glancing at Kikuoka. He gestured for me to continue. "Because if you just plop them down in a copy of our world right now, they'd figure out that it was just a copy. But if they build their own prison... But how would you recreate all the technological advances that -" I cut myself off as the path led from one thing to the next. "Of course. You wouldn't try that. You'd just give them limits and certain customs drilled into them from birth, and then resolve everything else with what could be called divine miracles... or maybe magic." I looked at him. "A VRMMO world."

Higa snapped his fingers. "Wow! Nick was right, you really are brilliant!" When had he spoken with Nick? Nick said he was working on something different, not... whatever this is. "I tried a few of those, but I kept running into walls. There was something that let you create new VRMMOs, right? The Seed, or something like that?" Nope. No idea what you're talking about. None at all. Nope. Nothing springs to mind. Beside me, Koujiro lightly tapped Asuna's shoulder and Asuna shook her head. They weren't going to say anything either. "Anyway, we used that Seed to create a small village and surrounding landscape. Then we transferred that in, and presto!"

"After many setbacks," Kikuoka cut in smoothly, "we finally managed to reach our first milestone. The first village had sixteen Prototypes in two farming families... in other words, we raised the AI children grow for eighteen years."

"Raised them?" Koujiro asked. "Who were the parents? Surely it couldn't have been an AI?"

"No, it couldn't be an AI. They just simply don't have the ability to raise children. The first generation parents were humans that spent eighteen years in the STL. Of course, they don't remember the time spent - the memories needed to be erased. But thanks to the four volunteers, the sixteen young Artificial Fluctlights grew quickly. They grew up, fell in love, and finally were old enough to raise their own children. The researchers 'died' of an epidemic and were logged out from the STL. Then, once the technicians were logged out, we were able to increase the FLA rate to 5000 times the rate of our reality. The couples each had ten children, which grew up into adults and formed their own families, so on and so forth." Were they raising children, or rabbits? "After about three weeks of reality, the inside world has spent three hundred years of simulation, and there's now eighty thousand people living in the Underworld."

"Eighty thousand?" Koujiro gasped. "That's... that's a civilization, not the creation of AI."

I narrowed my eyes. "But that's what you wanted, isn't it? Your goal isn't the creation of AI. It's more than that. You wanted... You wanted soldiers. People to fight in place of humans." That's why they couldn't slow down the simulation, because they wouldn't be able to produce the AI soldiers fast enough otherwise. But... I don't see how three times speed would be any better...

Kikuoka and the other adults seemed flabbergasted by my sudden jump, but that didn't mean I was wrong. "See, Asuna and I were wondering why you needed to create such a high-level AI. If you were trying to make something like this to train soldiers against enemy forces, it wouldn't have the same impact. There wouldn't be any danger in reality." I couldn't exactly say that I figured that out because Nick let slip that he was working on a side project related to just that. "So... Since this plan is so huge, you had to have another goal in mind. When did you think of that next step, creating AIs in the virtual world and using them for real wars?"

"Since the beginning," he admitted in a gentle voice.

"Kirito doesn't know, does he?" Asuna asked suddenly. "He doesn't know you want to use the AIs as soldiers. There's no way he does, or he wouldn't be working with you!"

"Why would you say that?" Kikuoka asked.

"Because you're planning to just sacrifice Artificial Intelligence without thinking of them as people, as though they have no rights." Asuna stared Kikuoka down. "You want to use AIs as drones, right? To shoot down human pilots, placing themselves in danger instead. Kirito doesn't think like that. To him, life is life - that's why no matter where he is, that's reality for him. That's why he cleared SAO."

"I don't understand," Kikuoka admitted. "Artificial Fluctlights don't have bodies. Why aren't they false lives?"

Asuna shook her head, her eyes filled with pity for the adults in front of her. "I asked him the same thing, once. While we were on the 56th level of Aincrad, there was a boss monster we had to beat no matter what, and our best plan was to lure the boss to the village and beat it there. But Kirito protested, saying that the NPCs were alive and that it was wrong to sacrifice their lives." Asuna nodded resolutely. "That's why, even if they're Artificial Fluctlights, just mass produced copies, Kirito will never help if they're just tools of war."

"It's not like I don't understand," Kikuoka said patiently. "The Artificial Fluctlights have the same cognitive abilities as humans. But, this is a question of priority. To me, the lives of hundreds of thousands of Artificial Fluctlights are worth less than the life of one Self-Defense Officer."

Asuna shook her head, probably - and rightly - thinking that Kikuoka would never understand. I started to add my two cents, talk about how Nick would never stand for something like that, but then I realized that... he would. He would do that in a heartbeat, because to him Artificial Fluctlights and human lives were worth the same thing. Nothing. So strange, really... Both Kazuto and Nick believed in the equal worth of human lives and Artificial Fluctlight lives, but on wildly different ends of the scale.

But I still love him.

"Does Nick work on the Artificial Fluctlights too?" I asked instead. I know he's not on the Underworld team, but maybe he's involved some other way. Besides, I was curious what he spent so much time on.

"Hm? Oh, that's right. Rythin isn't part of the Underworld team," Kikuoka said. "He works on the first version of the simulation - he was a big help in reworking it to train soldiers. Even if it's not perfect, it's still useful - a soldier can drill and drill and drill and then wake up the next day with all the muscle memory still in their brain. All that would be left to do in the real world would be to condition the physical body." He laughed. "If the Artificial Fluctlights work out, then that shouldn't be necessary, but the idea itself has merit, so we're working on that with a reduced team on the side." He grinned. "Mainly to justify our budget."

I nodded. "Makes sense. But back to the Underworld..." I narrowed my eyes. "Something's wrong, isn't it? Your AI soldiers aren't working out. Or otherwise, you wouldn't need Kirito. What's he got to do with this?"

Kikuoka took a deep breath, then let it out slowly before bringing up something on the monitor. It was the city we'd seen at the beginning. "Take a look, Kana, Asuna," he said. "The city is peaceful. There's no crime, no fighting, there's not even any littering. The citizens are bound so tightly by their laws and regulations that they literally cannot break them. How could an existence like that be a soldier, how could they kill?"

"That soft sound you're hearing in the background is the violin track called 'My Heart Bleeds for You'," I grumbled. "It's a fairly common track."

"They couldn't," Asuna said quietly.

"Of course they couldn't," he sighed. "But this is where Kirito comes in. The residents of the Underworld can't disobey the Taboo Index, their codex of laws... Another experiment placed eight more technicians in the Underworld, reverted back to young children, but none of them broke the Taboo Index even once. They were actually more subdued than the Artificial Fluctlights. It's because the instinct that tells the body how to act prevented the researchers from getting used to Underworld. To get around that, we needed someone used to the virtual world to spend several years inside it."

"...Hold on a moment," Asuna interrupted him. "Are you talking about the three days of Diving Kirito talked about? But he said that it was just ten days. Are you lying to him, or to us?"

Kikuoka lowered his head slightly. "Sorry... That was an error on the Roppongi branch's side. I told them to hide information on the acceleration rate..."

"Wait." I held up my hand. "So Kirito spend ten _years_ inside the STL? That's..." 10 over 3 times 365... "That's over a thousand times normal speed. Isn't that dangerous?"

"Well..." Kikuoka sighed. That's why this is still the hypothetical stage. Simply put, the Artificial Fluctlights have a limited capacity, and if we pass that limit the construct will degrade... We haven't tested it out for fairly obvious reasons, but we set the FLA maximum limit at 1500 for safety purposes. Don't worry, Kirito is fine," he assured Asuna. "We estimate that the soul's life is about 150 years. That is, if we never had problems with our health, and our brain was never damaged, our intellect would last approximately 150 years before breaking down. Of course, it's very unlikely we'd live that long, so with plenty of safety we can spend about thirty years inside the STL.

"Regardless of all that, Kirito was... remarkable. He displayed an unseen exuberance of curiosity and activity, that verged on the edge of breaking the Taboo Index multiple times, though he never did. However, after about seven years in Underworld, we noticed something strange. We have a method of determining the likelihood of a resident breaking the Taboo Index, and two Artificial Fluctlights, a boy and a girl that had been interacting with Kirito, had been increasing their Taboo Breaking Index."

I smiled. "Of course... Kirito managed to infect them with his brand of insanity, just like he infected Nick."

"In the end, we did find one exception. The girl that was closest to Kirito finally disobeyed the Taboo Index, committing the very severe crime of 'Entering the Forbidden Zone' likely in an attempt to save a life. The girl must have valued other people's lives more than the Taboo Index, which is the very adaptability we've been looking for. You can appreciate the irony, of course."

Higa sighed. "Unfortunately, because time passes so quickly in Underworld, we weren't able to stop the servers and eject the Fluctlight before something shocking happened. The Integrity Church, the system that protects the Taboo Index, managed to bring the girl to their capital and apply some strange form of correction to the Fluctlight. We had no idea they could do that... Perhaps they found a backdoor into the system and were able to modify Alice that way."

"Alice?" Asuna muttered.

Kikuoka nodded. "Yes. That was the name of the girl in question. The names are all randomized pronunciation, so imagine our surprise at the coincidence. That girl's name, Alice, just so happened to be the name of the main concept our entire plan revolves around."

"Concept?" I asked, curious.

"The Highly Adaptive Artificial Intelligence Self-Existence, or Artificial Labile Intelligence Cybernetic Existence. If we take the first letter of each word, we get ALICE. That's the goal - to let the photon clouds within the Lightcube become Alice. We call it Alice-ing."

He spread his arms, his incomprehensible smile still on his face, and said, "Welcome to Project Alicization."

"..." I stared at him, mouth open. "Nick said that you people really loved your acronyms, but _wow_ that's a stretch."

Kikuoka laughed. "I suppose it is, isn't it?"

* * *

"I'll kill you!" the poor orphan girl shouted, clutching at the leering man's jacket. "You'll die like the animal you are! Give me back my mother now!"

"Uh huh," Karma muttered. " _Definitely_ Kayano."

We were all in the classroom at this point. We'd split up into small groups so we could sit back and watch a clip from that video Mimura had shown us; I was watching on Ritsu's big screen, perched on Hara's desk, while the others were standing around in clusters of two and three and watching on their phones.

"That's crazy," Maehara said. "It's like she's a split personality or something!"

Sugino said, "That'd explain how she was able to keep her identity a secret."

The golden glow of the setting sun filled the room, but it didn't feel warm like it usually did. Everything just felt strange and a little bit tilted. Uneven, I think. Had Kayano just decided I was a good blind, with my leaking bloodlust disguising the little she gave off? And Nagisa... she'd been friends with him too, right? She was the one that originally gave him the little wing pigtails to begin with. Had that just been so she had someone to hide behind, the protagonist in the revenge story she was live-performing?

...I remember something Asano said to me, a while back. It had been just a throwaway line to intimidate me, so I hadn't given it much thought, but... 'I don't know the particulars, but some poor fool broke one of his trophies and was sent straight to E Class'. Kayano had transferred in right before me, right? She was clearly intelligent, if she could act this well... so that means _she_ must have been the one to smash the trophy. Hah. Dedicated, isn't she?

And dedicated is right. She's smart. Clever. She knew it'd be suspicious if she _didn't_ try to kill Korosensei in some elaborate plot, so she set up the pudding assassination plot to throw us off the trail. Just another layer in the facade, right? The harmless, ditzy Kayano was just a performance, right?

...No. _No_. I refuse to believe that. There's no way she could have pulled it off that long and that thoroughly without at least _some_ part of her persona being true. The Kayano we all knew and cared about wasn't just a performance.

"Excuse me, sir," Mimura said to Korosensei, "why did Kayano, well... Why did she call you a murderer?"

Isogai asked, "Does it... have to do with your past?"

"Talk to us, Korosensei, please!" Kimura begged. "What happened? We trust you... so just be honest with us!"

Kataoka nodded. "He's right," she said. "We deserve to know the truth. Please..."

"It's unacceptable to stay quiet," Hayami said. By the back of the room, Karma leaned against the wall and folded his arms. I just rested my arms on my knees, watching Korosensei intently.

"You understand," Isogai added, "unless you tell us something, we're done here. I'm sorry, but that's just the way it is."

Karasuma and Professor Bitch were at the front of the class too, but neither of them had said anything. Now, I'm curious how much of Korosensei's past Karasuma actually knows.

Silence echoed through the classroom as we all watched Korosensei, waiting for his response. If he refused to tell us anything... I'd do it. I'd walk away with the rest of them, walk away from the most fun I'd had in my life since, well, since Aincrad.

Korosensei didn't reply for a long time, and I could feel my heart beginning to race. "I don't blame you," he finally said, leaning forward. I let out a breath I'd been unconsciously holding, and forced myself to breathe normally. "Very well then... It's time my past came to light." Ah. "I'll tell you on one condition," he said, raising a tentacle. "You hear my big secret as a _class_. Meaning, of course, that we must find Kayano." He paused, as his phone vibrated. He pulled it out, and stared at the message.

Hm... Judging by the look on his face, it's the message we were waiting for. Kayano had finally contacted him and set the time and location of their next - and final - conflict.

...

At seven, after the sun had set, Korosensei led us to the grassy fields in the back hills. The wind blew fiercely, rustling the long blades of grass. We stood behind Korosensei, all of us watching the back of the green-haired girl, tentacles waving against the wind.

Kayano had changed out of her school uniform, marking the final severance of her old identity. Instead, she was wearing a simple sleeveless sweater, with a red scarf wrapped around her neck. With a small noise of satisfaction, she turned. "So you showed up!" she called out, her voice harsh. "Great!" she said, smiling innocently. Was... she sweating? "Let's end this."

Korosensei didn't move.

With a slicing sound, something cut the tops of the grass. Kayano's tentacle had moved quickly enough to cut even the wind. "I gave you your name," Kayano said. "Practically makes me your mother. What's the old joke? I brought you into this world, I can take you out of it?" she asked sardonically.

"Listen to me," Korosensei said, ignoring her taunts. "It's too dangerous for you to keep using those tentacles! They have to be removed, your life is in jeopardy!"

"What are you babbling about?" Kayano asked. "They're in peak condition! You're not gonna break my composure with a bluff."

"Kayano!"

She almost looked surprised Nagisa had spoken up.

"I thought we were your friends," the boy said. "But this whole time... you were acting? All the stuff we've done, all we've been through together?"

Kayano smiled. "It's what I do. I'm an actor. I act. Watching Nagisa take that beating from Takaoka... it took everything I had not to step in. When I was kidnapped by thugs, kicked in the ribs by the Reaper... I was pissed enough to have _killed_ them! But I maintained. Never once let the mask slip. Poor, pitiful, Kayano. The frail girl everybody loved."

Fuwa asked, "You did all this... for your big sister?"

"Korosensei murdered her," Kayano said softly. "She never hurt anyone. All she wanted to do was teach," she said, her voice trembling. "She used to brag about all of you..."

Takebayashi pushed at his glasses. "Kayano, we... we know. We only had her a couple of weeks, it was March of last year. But that was long enough to see she was a passionate teacher."

"Could Korosensei murder someone?" Sugino asked. "I mean like, actually in cold blood? I just don't see it. Nothing we know about him remotely jives with that."

"Yeah!" Kurahashi said desperately. "Maybe you're wrong, maybe you don't have the whole story yet! Give him a chance!"

Kayano didn't react.

"C'mon, Kaede," Karma said calmly, "you've been here a year. You should know what kind of person he is by now. I get it, we have to deal with him eventually. But you can't think he murdered your sister. This shouldn't be about revenge. It's not how this works."

Kayano's hands were trembling.

Itona asked, "Feel like you're overheating? But the nape of your neck is ice cold? It's a good indication your metabolism is shot, which means those tentacles have just about taken the wheel." So she _is_ sweating. "If you fight in that condition, you'll sap your life force. Trust me, I have experience. Worst case scenario, you die."

With a sudden _fwoosh_ , her tentacles erupted into flame. I jerked back, eyes wide as the sudden increase in heat washed over me. "Shut up!" Kayano snapped. "I don't recall asking you for a prognosis!" She didn't seem phased by the brands on the end of her tentacles. "Every weapon comes at a price, but if it's the least bit usable you polish it. Guess who taught me that, Korosensei? If my body overheats, so much the better!" she said, eyes wide and staring. She seemed almost manic with glee. "I'll use it to my advantage. Flaming tentacles can do a lot of damage!"

"No!" Korosensei exclaimed, reaching out towards her. "I-I must insist-"

Kayano's tentacles snapped out, sending a ring of fire around the two to create their arena. Takebayashi yelped and stepped back from the flames; I gave the ring of fire a careful berth, but I stared hard, focused.

This wasn't the time to talk Kayano down.

This was a boss fight. I needed... I needed to determine how to defeat her.

Fire... Her body is burning itself up for fuel. She's on a timer. Delay long enough and we win - but Kayano dies. Unacceptable. We need to defeat her before the tentacles destroy her body permanently. She's surrounded by a ring of fire, but that won't stop us from entering the arena if necessary.

Korosensei removed the tentacles from Itona's neck when he gave up the will to fight. But Kayano's will isn't to become strong, but to avenge her sister's death and kill Korosensei. How do we break that will without letting Korosensei die?

"See?" Kayano asked. "I'm in the best shape of my life. Every cell in my body is on high alert. All your weaknesses are mine to exploit."

"Stop it Kayano!" Nagisa shouted, lunging forward. He was immediately grabbed by Nakamura and Sugino, the two of them holding him back. "This is insane! Even if you win, it's suicide! If I've learned anything in this class, it's that no target is worth sacrificing yourself for!"

"Aw, that's so sweet of you to be concerned," Kayano cooed. "Still, though... If you think I care..." She looked up, and her eyes were filled with bloodlust. "You're dead wrong!" She lunged into the air, tentacles spinning around her. "When my mind's fixed on something, I just keep on rolling!"

Her tentacles lashed out, slamming into the ground and attacking Korosensei. She laughed madly as she soared over him, her arc extended by the tentacles.

Her abilities are on par with Korosensei. Physically, we're not going to be able to defeat her without sacrificing one or both of the combatants. And mentally, she's fixated on killing Korosensei. Of course... if we break that fixation, would she be disoriented long enough to remove the tentacles? Should we replace it? She's not listening to anything we say, so words are meaningless.

...I hate that I'm planning how to truly defeat one of my friends. It wasn't the playful challenge I would levy against Kazuto, or Asuna, or Shino; these were brutal, cold calculations. I was doing my best to break Kayano and bring her to her knees. Destroy her.

I hate myself sometimes.

"Holy crap, it's like a meteor shower!" Okajima yelped. Sparks were flying in the air, but there wasn't enough exposed skin to be injured; I didn't bother stepping aside.

I stepped over to Itona. "Itona," I said without preamble, "how bad is it? What's her chances?"

The silver-haired boy stared up at the spectacle. "...She's stronger than even I was," he said. "Out of everyone here, she has the best chance of killing Korosensei. But... look at her face."

"Hahaha!" Kayano laughed after a particularly brutal strike landed just beside Korosensei. Her eyes were wide and staring, the sclera becoming dark and clouded. Just like Itona's, back when he was rampaging out of control. As she drew her tentacles back, I realized she was clutching part of Korosensei's leg tentacle in her tentacles. "I ripped off a chunk! Look at that, it's still all wriggly!"

"She's been in boss battle mode for maybe fifteen seconds," Itona said, "and already the tentacles have gotten a foothold on her brain. The burden the tentacles place on their host is dangerously high. Her body is extremely weak, so the mental fortitude it took to endure having them for a full year must be incredible..." Itona shook his head. "But that's probably only because she hasn't been using the tentacles until now."

So because she's finally letting herself go, the corruption and damage is spreading at an alarming rate. Not good.

Kayano laughed as her tentacles attacked again, resembling a volcano erupting with the speed and ferocity of the flaming strikes. "Aw, what's the matter, Korosensei?" she mocked the octopus. "The headaches aren't an issue anymore! Woah, the pain's starting to feel good!"

She's becoming damaged. Too much longer, and her brain will be eaten away by the tentacles. "If she's that far gone," Itona told me, "it's too late. Whether she gets her revenge on Korosensei or not, another few minutes of this... and she's dead."

To my left, Nagisa startled at the flat declaration of Kayano's inevitable end and stared at the flames.

This is _not_ how Kayano is going to die. I refuse to let her be taken from me.

"Come on!" Kayano snarled, her eyes filled with pulsing red and black veins. "It's high time for you to die! Die! Die! Die!" she shrieked.

Somehow... I could hear her calling out. In her heart...

She wants someone to save her.

* * *

 **Ho shit! Plot twist!**

 **And yes, the signs were all there before. Go back and take a look. Kayano averted her eyes from Yanagisawa. Kayano can't swim – because her tentacles would swell up. She said it herself; 'I can't show anybody my true blade'. Did you really think pudding was her true blade?**

 **But yeah, holy shit this was a twist. I did NOT see it coming the first time I read the manga. My reaction was essentially 'wat.' Just like that. Flat wat. It's a huge shift, since she's always been so incompetent before this. (Hopefully you all thought the title was referring to Nick's secret, not Kayano's…) I tried to capture the chaotic thoughts flashing through Nick's mind at the moment of revelation, but hopefully it worked?**

 **And then we have the Argo interlude. It's mainly the second part of her confrontation of Kikuoka, where he anime-villain monologues his master plan. He's kind of a jerk, but at the same time he kinda has a point? They aren't really human if they're just AI, but at the same time they think they're human. Well, that's not Nick's problem, in the end, and Kana knows it. She knows and accepts that he just doesn't care about people. (Also today I learned that Shiori Izawa, Argo's Japanese voice actor in her one appearance and in the games, also voices Pina. Neat.)**

 **Finally, we come to the beginning of the Kayano confrontation. She's all about killing the shit out of Korosensei, to the point that her burning heart is now burning** _ **everything**_ **. Heh. And the other problem is, uh… Nick is shifting into Tactician mode and considering her a threat, now. Sure, it's to save her, not kill her, but this is the first time he's treated one of his friends like that.**

 **(and yes, they are his friends at this point.)**

 **Many thanks to everyone that favorited, followed, or reviewed.**


	14. Confession Time

**Chapter 14: Confession Time**

 **(86 Days)**

* * *

"Die! Die! Die! Die!"

Kayano screamed out mindlessly, shrieking her bloodlust to all of us as she lashed at Korosensei with her flaming tentacles. "You hear me?!" she shouted. "You're going to die!"

Beside me, Maehara looked at the ground, heartache clear on his face. "But if he does," he murmured, "he won't be the only one."

I gritted my teeth. There had to be a way to save her. I just wasn't sure I'd be able to figure it out in time. The last time it'd mattered, I'd failed everyone.

I let out a sigh, closing my eyes and exhaling slowly. I couldn't be obsessed with my failures. That wouldn't help anyone. I had to keep moving forward, learning from how I failed last time.

As I opened my eyes, I caught a glimpse of Kayano's face. She had a mad, bloodlust-filled smile on her face, and her eyes were dark and clouded from the tentacles' influence. We'll save you, Kayano. Because I can hear it. The voice in your heart, begging for someone to help.

The smoke was starting to get thick, and my eyes were starting to sting, but I didn't look away. I couldn't afford to miss the slightest chance we could save Kayano. "We have to do something, guys," Sugino exclaimed. "Will we just stand here while her life's being eaten away like this?"

Nagisa frowned and looked down.

"Children!"

I jerked back in surprise as Korosensei's face appeared in front of us. What.

"Korosensei?!" Nagisa exclaimed.

"Just your face now?" Sugaya asked.

"Sorry," Korosensei said, his words rushing together. I looked back at the fight, and the octopus was desperately holding off the tentacles. He was darting back and forth, dodging Kayano's strikes with barely centimeters to spare. "Partial clone. I'm afraid Kayano's attacks aren't leaving me a lot of wiggle room! Believe me, it's all I can do just to project an afterimage of this!"

But how does that even work? You're just projecting your face somehow?

Hah... Korosensei never did and still continues to not make sense in the slightest. How are we supposed to kill someone who treats physics as suggestions?

"That's kinda cool, actually," Sugaya said.

"Her tentacles need to be removed, ASAP," Korosensei told us. In the battle, Kayano shrieked with rage and attacked again, sending up a cloud of dust and ash from the battle. "They're putting off this infernal heat at tremendous cost to her body!"

"Die! Die! Die! Die!" Okay, Kayano, we get it, sheesh. You want him dead.

Korosensei continued, "She's so hellbent on killing me, she's lost all reason! If you don't act quickly, they'll sap her life force and _kill_ the poor girl! Trouble is, so long as her bloodlust equals that of her tentacles, they'll be rooted into her nervous system and impossible to extract! Talking her down isn't an option, like it was with Itona. We simply don't have the time!"

"So... what do we do?" Hayami asked.

"The only thing we can," Korosensei replied. His clothes were starting to get torn as he weathered the firestorm. "I'll have to pull 'em out as we fight." _Everyone_ gasped at that. It really was the best option, though. "I'll have to let her hit my most vulnerable spot, the area beneath my tie - my heart. Should she completely destroy it, death is certain."

"Die! Die! DIEEEE!"

"But..." Korosensei said, "If she feels she's done me in, her tentacles will be satisfied, for a moment. One of you must exploit that tiny window of opportunity to make Kayano forget her bloodlust!"

Hazama frowned. "Forget it?" the writer asked. "How?"

"By any means necessary," Korosensei said grimly. "Whatever it takes to get her mind off of assassination! Alas," he said, dodging and weaving as Kayano's flaming tentacles swiped at him - I think the fire has spread... "it's the only thing I can't do. If her intended target were to try anything funny, her bloodlust would only intensify! Quell it, however, and the tentacles' bond will temporarily break. Their grip on Kayano's nervous system will be loosened just enough to make extraction possible without major damage."

"Yeah, but..." Kimura said. "She'd... I mean, the tentacles would be on your heart the whole time, right? Wouldn't you die before we could get them off of her?" A few of my classmates murmured to themselves, shocked, but I'd already put the pieces together. It wasn't hard to figure out, after all. The tentacles' bloodlust would only be fulfilled if they genuinely thought they'd succeeded in killing him.

"I _might_ be able to postpone the moment of death long enough to regenerate," Korosensei admitted. "But optimistically, the odds are fifty-fifty." So... less than 50 percent chance he'll survive.

"Then no!" Kataoka cried.

"Don't despair," Korosensei said, not unkindly. "The possibility of E Class not being allowed to graduate... is far worse than the prospect of my demise."

Everyone hesitated, silent.

"Oof!" Korosensei suddenly exclaimed, his face afterimage breaking up and distorting. One of Kayano's blows must have slipped through his guard. "I can't keep my clone up any longer! I need to focus on her tentacles! I'll have to act in thirty seconds," he warned us. "Someone, hurry up and do it now!"

Then, the Korosensei face disappeared as Kayano's assault intensified even further. Korosensei was just barely hanging on, defending himself with everything he had. Still, Kayano clearly had the upper hand; Korosensei was entirely on defense, not attacking at all, and his movements were starting to get ragged. I could see more and more blows starting to land glancing strikes.

We have... thirty seconds. I need to figure it out in thirty seconds.

"Mimura," Yoshida said. "Give us some air guitar."

"What?" Mimura asked.

Distantly, I could feel my mind slipping into a hyper-focused mode that made the voice of my classmates fade away into the background noise, along with the crashing and roaring from the fire. This was how I felt when fighting for my life, when I was up against a boss in Aincrad, when I was using Future Step.

Our goal: Save Kayano. To do so, Korosensei needs to remove the tentacles. He's the only one capable of doing so, which means that the obvious solution - let Kayano kill him and then remove the tentacles after that - is impossible. Kayano would die. Thus, he needs to stay alive.

Now, Korosensei's already told us that the tentacle's bloodlust would be satisfied when she drives them into his heart. That makes sense, and I have no reason to believe it won't work. So in that instant, we need a way to distract Kayano from her goal of revenge. Itona's tentacles were removed after his desire for strength had faded away. I'd spoken to him about it, once, out of curiosity. 'The tentacles spoke to me,' he'd told me. 'They asked what I wanted. I replied I wanted to be strong.'

"C'mon, man," Yoshida continued. "Show her your mad skills."

"But she's gonna go after me!" the orange-haired boy cried.

Yoshida snapped, "Just do it!"

The question, then, is how to do it. Any aggressive moves, like cutting off the tentacles or attacking Kayano herself, is impossible. The immediate instinct of someone in Kayano's position is to respond to violence with more violence. If we move to forcibly distract her through combat or assassination strikes or anything like that, we'll lose the small window of opportunity we'd have to her retaliation. And at the same time we can't be too passive, or we won't be able to break Kayano from the thoughts of her goal finally being fulfilled. A few scenes started playing through my head as my mind raced, simulating the possible paths this could take.

Would Nagisa's clap stunner work? ...No, it wouldn't. Kayano's rhythm was too chaotic and irregular to be startled so easily. If anything, using the technique would just feed her bloodlust. It needed to be something startling and unexpected, but nothing that could be misconstrued as an attack. Knives, guns, anything like that would be ignored at best.

I've been in a state like Kayano before, where everything was a threat and everyone was an enemy. At this point, Kayano's music in her movements and heart was so discordant that the only part of her that I could anticipate clearly was her tentacles; they were clear, their objective obvious. Kill Korosensei. Just like how I wanted to kill and kill and kill when that Death Gun idiot attacked Shino and nearly killed Kazuto, back in December.

Let's extrapolate from there, then. What would break _me_ from my bloodlust? What would confuse _me_? Music is the first thing that springs to my mind. The ordered melody, the almost mathematical way you can break down the sounds into their components without losing the magical flow... It distracted me from my bloodlust and gave me something else to focus on, back when I didn't have control over my anger and killing desire like I do now.

But... that won't work. It worked for me because I _wanted_ to focus on music, not because it was inherently startling. It gave my mind something to latch onto instead of imagining how I would go about murdering the person in front of me who'd coughed loudly.

Damn it, damn it, damn it...

"That's ridiculous!" Nakamura snapped at the two boys.

If only Kana were here, she'd know...

...Wait...

...Kana... Kana!

That's it!

I know! I know how to save Kayano!

Who, who, who who who... My head snapped around, scanning every single student in the class. As my mind played out the scene over and over again, every repetition failed. Some were too forceful, some weren't forceful enough, most were awkward. None of them, no no no, none of them will work!

My eyes fell on Nagisa, and I grinned widely, almost like a madman. He would work!

We didn't have to kill her bloodlust. We just needed a distraction.

I bolted over to Nagisa, and hissed, "I know what to do!" Immediately, I had his attention, and started whispering my plan to him without waiting another heartbeat.

Kayano was friendly with everyone, but there were only a few people she really spent a lot of time with. Myself, Kanzaki, Karma, and Nagisa. Though, honestly, Karma was only because he spent a lot of time talking to me and Nagisa.

A simple plan. It only took a few seconds to tell him. "I'll trust you," Nagisa said. "I'll do it."

This whole class, we'd been taught how to adapt our knowledge to assassinate our target; we'd used tricks to win a baseball game, and used our skills to make money and learn practical conversation in English. What I'd told Nagisa to do was just another way we adapted our everyday talents into something unique and effective on the target.

We had maybe ten seconds before Korosensei would make his move. I had to prepare. Quickly, I grabbed Karma and Nakamura by the arm. "No time to explain," I panted. "Phones, now! Get them! Camera!" They exchanged bemused glances, but got their phones out like I requested.

All that was left was for Nagisa to use the killer move...

"Die! Die! Die!" Kayano shrieked. I think she could tell her time was nearly up. Her attacks intensified, and Korosensei -

\- moved his tentacles to the side, exposing his chest.

Kayano's eyes widened. She thrust her tentacles forward -

\- and struck home, the fiery whips sinking into Korosensei's chest.

As the fire on the tentacles flickered and died out - I tightened my jaw - Korosensei coughed and spat up yellow goop, similar to how a regular human would spit up blood. "Gotcha..." Kayano breathed, a smile twitching at her lips.

Perfect. That was the instant the tentacles would believe they'd slain their chosen prey. Now... Now we just had to save Kayano.

Korosensei's tentacles whipped out and wrapped around Kayano's waist. The girl's eyes widened in total shock as she was brought down and held there; despite struggling, she couldn't escape.

Kayano's tentacles twisted in the wound, and Korosensei grunted with pain.

Nagisa stepped forward, the dry grass cracking beneath his feet. Kayano's eyes widened as he stopped barely three body-lengths away from her. Her attempts to escape redoubled; she could have escaped if she'd used her tentacles, but she was trapped by her own bloodlust. They wouldn't move from Korosensei's heart until the octopus was dead.

"Nagisa..." Sugino breathed.

"What are you doing?" Karma asked the boy, even though he couldn't hear us.

"Nick, what did you tell him to do?" Nakamura snapped at me, gripping my arm tightly.

I winced at her strength, but spat back, "To save her life!"

Nagisa stared, eyes hard and resolute. Kayano was panting heavily, exhausted from the long fight. She glared back, eyes filled with bloodlust and hate. Nagisa lunged forward-

\- the python stretched towards her, hissing, and the viper that normally slept wrapped around me stirred at the sensation of kin -

\- and Nagisa struck, pressing his lips against Kayano's. One hand went back around her neck, cupping her head to keep her from getting away from his strike.

I grinned smugly. Heh. That was Kana's favorite way to distract me, after all - be affectionate. And anyone would be surprised and startled when their classmate kisses them without warning, right? Especially in this sort of situation. Do something unexpected, illogical, _foolish_ , and even the most wary enemy will be thrown off.

"GAH!" Fuwa and Okajima shrieked.

To my left, Okuda and Kanzaki gasped, both blushing.

Of course, I'd also enlisted help. Nakamura and Karma, both smirking, dashed to the sides with their phones out, snapping as many pictures as they could. I'm pretty sure at least one of them was recording video, too; my phone was out and I zoomed in on Kayano's face to get a good angle.

Credit to them, they picked up what to do real quick.

I watched with a happy smirk as Nagisa pressed his attack. Kayano was making an adorable whimpering sound - and then she blinked, and the hate and bloodlust was gone from her eyes, the sclera white again. When she blushed bright red, I _knew_ she'd forgotten her bloodlust, at least briefly.

After thirty seconds, Kayano flopped backwards, eyes clearly spinning. Nagisa caught her, and gently laid her down on the ground so she didn't hurt herself falling. "Hah," I murmured. "The protagonist strikes again."

"Will this do?" Nagisa asked Korosensei. "Please say yes."

"Well _done_ Nagisa!" Korosensei said, lifting up the tweezers he'd used to extract Itona's tentacles. "They'll come out with ease!"

Korosensei's tentacles blurred, striking at her neck - and then the tentacles detached from Kayano, and the girl slumped forward. Completely ignoring the still-smoldering fire, everyone started talking at once and hurrying to check on our fallen classmate.

Eventually, the fire was put out and everyone had gotten a chance to reassure themselves that Kayano was uninjured. "Is she..." Okuda asked, gently cradling Kayano's head in her lap, "Is she alright? Is this over now?"

"I think so," Korosensei said. "Probably. The important thing is, that she get plenty of rest," he said.

Well, after Nagisa's ultimate technique I think she'll be having some _pretty_ nice dreams. Heh.

Off to the side, Nagisa sighed in relief. Like sharks smelling the blood in the water, Karma, Nakamura and I immediately mobbed him. While Karma and I were leering with devilish glee, Nakamura put her hand on Nagisa's shoulder while smirking. "Ooh, now _that_ was a kiss," she said. Nagisa immediately went pink from embarrassment. "Look at you going all Prince Charming. Way to go, Nagisa..."

"Don't make it a thing," Nagisa muttered. He was grinning, though. "I was distracting her from her bloodlust, like Nick said, that's all. I'll apologize when she wakes up, so-"

Professor Bitch's hand reached out and gently tipped his chin back. "Fifteen hits on a ten-second kiss is nothing to write home about, honey," she said, grinning at him. "I'm disappointed."

"Fifteen hits?" Nagisa asked.

Hahahaha... That's amazing! Professor Bitch really is the bitchiest one in the class, if she could count how many times Nagisa's tongue had tangled with Kayano's during that ten-second kiss. I love this class!

"If you're gonna kiss, get in there like there's no tomorrow," Professor Bitch told him. "Go big or go home! You could have pulled off a minimum of forty hits."

Behind her, Okajima nodded, and Maehara frowned, rubbing his chin in thought. "Huh..." the playboy said, "my upper limit's around twenty-five..."

Kataoka was crying tears of shame. "Why do you guys make me wanna hate this place?" she sighed. Yeah, that's right, Kataoka. You tell them. "It's a red-letter day if I get to twenty!" ...Kataoka, nooooo, you were one of the sane ones...

The sound of vomit caught everyone's attention, and we all snapped our heads back towards Korosensei. Messing with Nagisa was fun and all, but this was important. Korosensei was kneeling in the grass, spitting up his equivalent of blood. "Korosensei!" everyone cried.

"Haa...haa..." Korosensei panted. "I'm fine," he said. "It'll just... take a little while for my heart to fully recover." His voice and cadence were weak, which made sense given he'd just had his heard shredded by Kayano's tentacles. "I realize you're waiting for an explanation, but please, indulge me with your patience a bit longer."

 _Crack!_

Korosensei ducked in a panic as a rifle's bullet whipped over his head. I blinked in shock, staring at the two figures standing on a hill above us - and then looked at my hand in confusion. When did I draw my gun and point it at them?

"Stop playing the deathbed angle," the man on the left said; the man on the right had been the one to fire the gun. I frowned. It was dark and the cinders of the fire were still giving off enough smoke to obscure things further, but the crescent moon still gave off enough light for me to see the speaker was wearing all white. "You've clearly recouped enough to dodge."

"It's Shiro," Itona murmured.

And, judging by the knock-off fetish gear and the gun intended to knock Korosensei off, I'm willing to be that Silent But Deadly over there is that successor to Itona Shiro mentioned a few months ago. I'd tried to look into it, after Ritsu reminded me, but I kept coming up with nothing. It was like the man had no identity of his own.

"Pathetic little twit," Shiro continued. My eyes narrowed. "For someone so willing to sacrifice themselves for the sake of retribution, you'd think she'd have managed something a little more on-the-nose than this. Quite the monster, aren't you?" he called out lightly to Korosensei. "How many would-be assassins have you sent away empty-handed in the past year? Well... there are still at least two you _haven't_ deflected."

Saying that, Shiro reached up and pulled down the part of his hood that covered his mouth. He revealed strapped around his mouth and removed it, before letting it drop to his feet. "And I will be the last," he said. His voice was different, now; higher-pitched, filled with more smugness. It must have been a voice changer, to flatten his tone. But why...

A cloud over the moon shifted, and my eyes widened as his face was mostly revealed. His expression was arrogance personified, but that wasn't what distracted me. No, that was because of the machinery surrounding his left eye. A replacement eye...?

"Yes," Shiro continued, "the one from whom you stole everything. To whom in the end, you will give your life."

"So it is you," Korosensei said. "I _thought_ I recognized that twisted genius." Korosensei knows Shiro's true identity? So... the voice changer and robes of pure white were a disguise, to let Shiro get close to Korosensei. "This, boys and girls," Korosensei told us, "is Yanagisawa."

Yanagisawa smirked down at us for a second longer, and then turned, placing a hand on the shoulder of the black-clad figure next to him. "Come, Two Point Oh," he said. "March is upon us. And with it, a perfect end to a cursed life." The... 2.0? stared at us silently. I shivered as I realized his outfit covered his face entirely. How, then, did he shoot at Korosensei so accurately... Then, he turned and followed Shiro - no. Followed Yanagisawa down the hill.

Another shiver ran over me as I realized he hadn't spoken a single word the entire time we had been staring each other down. "What's with that guy?" Yada muttered. Whatever it is, it's not good. He gave off the aura of someone who was bad news.

The sound of Kayano stirring and mumbling caught my attention, and I hurriedly holstered my gun. She's waking up! Everyone ran over to look.

When Kayano opened her eyes, I couldn't help but smile in relief. Her eyes were clear. The melody had come in tune. "What happened?" she mumbled in a quiet groan.

"Ah... Kayano. Thank goodness," Korosensei said.

Nagisa leaned over to see her. "Kayano," he said. "You okay?" The poor girl blushed and looked away from him. Hah! She remembers! She remembers! I'm so glad, this is amazing.

"So you're back?" Okano asked.

Kayano didn't reply right away, and we all let her gather her thoughts. "At first I was driven by bloodlust," she said gently. "But... the more time I spent with Korosensei, the less and less it seemed to matter. I started to think, 'What's his story? What about him don't I know? Should I hold off killing him until I get the whole picture?' At about that time, the tentacles took control. They refused to let me wait. Ah, I'm so stupid... Assassination has been about self-discovery for you, while I've spent the past year secretly obsessed with revenge."

Nagisa stepped forward, when none of us knew what to say to that. "Kayano..." he said. "It's because of you I quit feeling self-conscious about my hair," he said, patting at his wing pigtails. "The first time we met, you pretty much called it out and look at me now, right? And like you said - Korosensei's name. You were the one who gave it to him, remember? Maybe you _were_ just playing a role, okay, fine. It doesn't mean it wasn't a part of you, or that our friendship wasn't a lie."

I could remember all the time we spent with Kayano. In class, at the summer festival, when she was freaking out about the pudding, at the pool... They were all different 'Kayanos', right? "We _all_ wear masks from time to time," Nagisa said. "We're all different on the inside than on the out. It's still the real you."

Damn it... Why couldn't someone have said that to me back when _I_ needed to hear it...

"Here's the deal," Nagisa said. "Korosensei owes us an explanation as a class. None of us expects him to be a saint. We know he doesn't always do the right thing." He crouched down next to her. "But as a class, let's hear his story."

Kayano ducked her head. "Okay," she whimpered as tears started to roll down her cheeks. Nagisa... you made her cry... "And thanks," she choked out between her tears. "It's nice to finally be real..."

She doesn't have to act anymore. We all smiled, happy for the girl.

Isogai turned to Korosensei. "Don't worry, sir," he said. "What's done is done. As long as you tell us the truth, we'll accept it." As a class, we waited for his answer. I pulled out my phone so that Ritsu could listen, as well.

"Hhh..." Korosensei groaned, before lowering his chin slightly. "Thank you," he said, his voice serious. "I'd hoped to never revisit this chapter of my life... And yet, I've little choice. Your trust is _vital_ to me. I would never do anything to break it, never jeopardize our bond. Last summer, on the island," he said as the wind picked up, "Mr. Karasuma said to Miss Irina, if you recall, there's a lot more to a good assassin than meets the eye. Those words are especially relevant here.

"You see, children," Korosensei said, waving a tentacle at all of us, "this classroom represents my first go as a teacher. But, all things considered, I think I've more than risen to the challenge. After all, I _am_ a gifted improviser."

Hah... With those words... and his unnatural ability to pull off anything perfectly...

That means...

Karma gasped. He figured it out too. "Then, that means..." Takebayashi trailed off, adjusting his glasses.

"Yes," Korosensei said, folding his tentacles in front of him like he was lacing his fingers. "Until two years ago, _I_ was the assassin known as the Reaper." Everyone else gasped. "And that's not all. Whether you kill me or not, come March, I am doomed. Either I go alone, or I take the Earth with me. _That's_ the only aspect of your future assassinating me can change."

I swallowed, licking at my lips. I could feel the locked and sealed vault of Korosensei's past slowly opening up to us, and spilling out a chilling mist. We asked for his story, so he was going to give it to us.

His story and memories of being a human.

* * *

"Born in darkness, he grew to disdain the light. Weaned on soul-crushing poverty, a child of the slums. He knew only ugliness and degradation; it was impossible to find a single trustworthy person. Parents sold their children, friends and lovers betrayed each other without a second thought.

"Life taught him he could only rely on one thing. The only truth he could rely on, ever since he was a child: death. Naturally, the assassin's path beckoned. And it was his true calling. Those stronger than himself, he killed with knowledge. Those more knowing, he killed with strength. Those gifted with both, he killed with surpassing charm. In the end... he was invincible. He accepted any request, no matter how difficult. He slipped through any defense, no matter how strict. In only a week, he ended ten years of feuding by killing two dozen of the top brass. When the number of his victims reached in the thousands, fittingly, rumor christened him, 'The Reaper'.

"If there was even one person with abilities to match his own, possibilities for assassination would expand considerably. For that reason, he cultivated a disciple. A young man asked to be his disciple after he finished a certain job. He seemed talented enough, so the Reaper picked him up. He yearned for power... so the Reaper gave him exactly what he desired. Of course, he made sure to plant loyalty in his disciple by making sure to put the difference in power between them on full display.

"But in his teachings of power and fear, he forgot to factor in the possibility of betrayal. The disciple stole his mentor's name and identity and delivered him to an unofficial research organization that the government knew nothing about. He was to be treated as a guinea pig for their experiment."

 _So that's why The Reaper recruited me. To take_ everything _from his old mentor, even something as small as training a student._

"I can still remember the first day of my captivity clearly. As I was wheeled in, securely strapped to a table, the intercom in the high-tech laboratory clicked on. 'Listen closely, guinea pig,' said the voice of the man I would come to know as Yanagisawa. 'You may have been the Reaper out there, but in here you are a specimen. Your daily routine is going to be _very_ unpleasant.' The mechanical restraints keeping my body pinned retracted into the mechanical experiment table, allowing me to sit up.

"I looked around my new cell. It was perfectly empty of anything except for myself and the restraints; the door behind me, through which I'd been wheeled in, could only be opened from the outside and was secured by a strong magnetic lock. On the other side, a thick wall made of acrylic glass separated my half of the room from the observation half. The only means of communication between the two was a small circle of tiny holes through which I could speak to any observer on the other side.

"I stood up and pressed my hand to the thick glass. My most pressing matter was my own future. I was to be a human test subject in a sketchy research facility; the perfect guinea pig because of my strong mind and body, and lack of family. Of course, I was still alive, so it was a thousand times better than the gallows. Eventually, I would get a chance to escape.

"That was when the door slid open. 'Wow, that's a shock!' the woman who entered said cheerfully. 'You don't _look_ like a ruthless killer!' Before I looked like this, boys and girls, I was a very handsome young man - it was an asset in my assassinations.

"'I don't, do I?' I asked, smiling gently. This woman, whoever she was, had drawn the short straw, evidently. 'Look ma'am, I won't do anything. Could you just get me out of here, please?'

"'Sorry,' she said, making a cross with her pointer fingers. 'It's just that I've developed an intense allergy to being murdered.'

"I liked her immediately. She could be very useful in my escape plans. There was just one problem... What was with her shirts? That, children, was how I met Miss Aguri Yukimura. She was the person watching over me while I was subjected to the experiments."

 _'Haha... That's Miss Yukimura, alright,' Nakamura snickered._

 _I glanced at her. 'Were they really that weird?' I whispered back._

 _'Yeah, she had this one that was just a cartoon ham on a bone. And that was one of the tame ones.'_

 _'...I'll take your word for it...'_

"Antimatter. A mere one-tenth of a gram puts out as much energy as an atomic blast. At first glance, it appears to be a perfect energy source, but scientists remain doubtful about whether it can replace other forms. The justification is that it's terribly inefficient to produce - creating antimatter requires more energy than would be produced.

"Instead, the basis of the research at this off-the-grid laboratory was to make antimatter grow inside a human body. By splicing the particle acceleration cycle of antimatter into the life cycle of a cell, effectively priming the cell's engine and infusing it with astonishing power.

"And the man in charge of this research was a famous biologist, heir to a wealthy family. The genius Kotarou Yanagisawa's chief ambition was to create this organic antimatter, and to that end he would stop at nothing. He was going to remodel my entire body; in exchange for cooperation, I would be allowed to read whatever books I liked. I was saved from the death penalty, as he so often liked to remind me, but in return I would spend my days as a human test subject. My only job was to accurately report changes to my body and senses. 'Even pigs and monkeys are capable of that,' Yanagisawa told me once, resting his hand on the restraining table as he leaned over me to laugh in my face. 'If you can't stand the pain, feel free to cry...'

"Honestly, those people were so full of openings, I thought. I could have killed them at any point with ease - but it was still premature."

 _'...Why does Nick look so frustrated?' Nagisa whispered to Karma._

 _'Not sure, but he keeps squeezing his hands and muttering about how 'that's not how science works', so... leave it alone, I guess.'_

"After every experiment, I was wheeled back to my solitary confinement, where Aguri would be waiting. She was the one who checked over my vitals.

"'Good work today,' she said one day, as I sat up.

"'...Nice shirt,' I said instead. She had been wearing some brown monstrosity, with a dancing cucumber on it. 'It's even dorkier than the last one.'

"'Huh? Oh, come on!' she yelped. 'I'm just trying to add a little color to your life! I thought you'd appreciate it.'

"'To be honest, it just grinds my gears.'

"Aguri sighed. 'Ugh, I wish I'd known that before I fell in love with this brand. I guess my students aren't the only ones who think it's lame.' That was the first time I'd heard anything about her students.

"As I was about to ask what she was talking about, the door on her side slid open. 'Aguri!' Yanagisawa snapped. 'Is there a reason a simple data check takes so long?'

"'I'm sorry, Kotarou, we were just -'

"Yanagisawa snatched the data pad out of her hand and smashed it over her head. Burying his fingers in her hair, he sneered, 'If your dolt of a father weren't one of my core subcontractors, it'd be _you_ on the other side of the glass! You owe me! I let you slide on the connubial duties, but here I expect professionalism!' He finally released her and turned to me. 'See you tomorrow, guinea pig,' he said, banging a fist on the thick glass. 'It's going to be a busy day,' he said, smirking at me.

"The two of them were engaged, but he treated her like garbage. When I asked her why she took such challenging work for free, she replied that her relationship with her arranged husband would get even worse if she didn't, supposedly.

"Yanagisawa viewed me as less than human, and had no problem discussing his research work in front of me as if I were the dumb animal he claimed I was. It was true; his theories were nigh-incomprehensible to laymen. 'Hey, Yanagisawa,' I said after one set of experiments. 'There's no feeling in my hands or feet. And I'm chilled to the bone.'

"' _Mister_ Yanagisawa,' he corrected me. 'Ugh... And peripheral neuropathy is par for the course.'

"In truth, the Reaper's intellect far surpassed that of the scientists. He had spent a considerable amount of time amassing knowledge for his assassinations. Within a month atop the experimentation table, he nearly perfectly grasped the key points of the advanced theory. If I can subtly manipulate the experiments, he thought, I can boost the likelihood of success.

"'Destructive powers beyond all measure would be _mine_.' The Reaper was confident that the power he would obtain in the near future would allow him to return to his life of destruction.

"As the days passed, I grew more familiar with Aguri. 'Wow!' she gasped one day, staring at her data pad. 'Lots to get to on the checklist today! Best get started if I don't want to get smacked around.'

"'I take it that's a frequent worry for you?'

"Aguri nodded. 'Oh yeah. Can't let the sense get knocked out of me. There'd be nothing left to pass on to my class!' Again, she'd mentioned a class.

"'Aguri!' Yanagisawa shouted, causing her to shriek as he stormed in. 'Damnit woman, why must you try my patience!'

"'I-I-I was just getting started, dear!'

"'Put those clerical skills to use! Or have I overestimated your capacity for basic grunt work?' His frequency was agitated; hers was flat as she shivered. 'You have one job!' he shouted. 'Learn to do it-'

"Just as he raised the data pad to smash it down on his head, I struck the glass firmly, creating a shockwave. Yanagisawa choked and then collapsed. 'What did you do?' Aguri asked. 'Mister Reaper, you-'

"'He's just immobilized, ma'am,' I replied soothingly. 'Relax. You have a classroom to think about, right?' I smiled. 'Isn't it great we both get to do our real jobs?'

 _'Why is Nick so angry right now?' Chiba whispered to Hayami. 'He didn't know Miss Yukimura.'_

 _'Think about it,' she whispered back. 'He has a girlfriend, and Korosensei's talking about how Miss Yukimura's fiancé was abusing her.'_

 _'Oh...'_

"After three months in that dreadful place, the teacher and the killer were as open as old friends. She worked as a teacher from 6 in the morning to 7 in the evening, and then observed the subject of a human experiment from 8 to 2. Instead of brainwashing her with my abilities, he would help her with her lesson planning; she wasn't very important in the facility, so she wasn't of any use to him.

"'The mercenary giving career advice to the educator?' she asked with good humor after I helped her write out some quadratic equations for her students. 'You know, I'm starting to think you're better suited to my teaching gig than me...'

"'Ah, well... I could definitely play the part if the job called for it, but, uh... I'm not cut out for the real thing. Believe it or not,' I admitted to her, 'I had a protege once. He betrayed me. How do you think I wound up in this place? I just don't understand. I cultivated his abilities, gauged his progress in minute detail.'

"'He wanted to be seen,' Aguri said. I stared at her. 'He wanted your approval. Everything he did was just to get your attention, believe me!'

"'But I watched the boy like a hawk,' I said, frowning. 'Everyone wants attention. That's the key to winning them over.'

"Unfortunately, our conversation was cut short by Yanagisawa. As the daily battery of tests continued, the changes to the Reaper's body became more and more drastic. He started coughing up blood, though Aguri was reassured that this was to be expected. The energy circulating due to the antimatter in his body enabled rapid regeneration of organic compounds. Coursing through the subject's body, the antimatter appropriated tissue to tough, flexible limbs to keep that immense power in check. After six months, his arms and fingers began to act like whips if correctly stimulated. Yanagisawa began to call them tentacles.

"It was clear that the level of caution was getting higher. In addition to reinforcing the restraining table as a precaution, Yanagisawa left Aguri alone to monitor his creation and gave direction from outside the shelter.

"She was part of the experiment as well, a scapegoat and sacrificial lamb in the case of an emergency. The Reaper was turning into something altogether inhuman. She suspected as much, but didn't wish to burden her superiors with questions. 'Great job again today,' she said after a particularly intense day of testing. 'Take a second to catch your breath, and I'll take your vitals. I'll stick around so we can visit for a while!' She looked straight ahead and smiled, sweet and light-headed as ever.

"Of course, everyone wants attention. Approval. 'Sounds lovely,' I said, standing up. 'Did you bring the exam questions?'

"'P-please give me your opinion today as well,' she said sheepishly.

"The legendary killer, who'd never shown himself to anyone, finally understood the joy of being seen.

"The seasons changed, a new school year began. A fresh batch of students gathered under the roof of Kunugigaoka's class 3-E. Little did they know, that in about two weeks' time, the moon would become a permanent crescent.

 _'Hey, that's us,' Okajima whispered._

 _'Shh!' Hara whispered back._

"While the year passed, the two of them talked. They found out when no one would look at the monitors, and Aguri slowly learned about the Reaper's history in these stolen moments. She understood that the Reaper knew neither his real name nor the day he was born. That his easy smile and gift for small talk were simply part of his wheelhouse as a gifted killer.

"And he understood her. He could see there was no love between her and her fiance and that he viewed her as nothing more than a servant.

"'Oh, I almost forgot!' Aguri exclaimed suddenly as I was reading a book peacefully. 'You haven't seen the fancy new top I'm wearing today yet!'

"I put down my book. 'You never learn, huh. Your taste in clothes sets women back ten years.' Still, I approached the glass.

"'Tada!' she said, taking off her lab coat to reveal her shirt. 'It's a tube top with a cute oni pattern! A little tight, sure, but _crazy_ stylish!'

"I stared. The blue and red oni faces decorating the top of the tiger-striped tube top squeezed her tightly, accentuating her lovely breasts, with their perfect squeezable size and beautiful skin, nue-heh-heh-heh..."

 _'Perverted octopus,' Yada muttered._

 _'Hm hm!' several other girls nodded in unison, glaring at the pink-faced Korosensei._

"Ahem... Without realizing it I was leering at Aguri, grinning widely. My fingers started to stretch and wiggle as I smiled, my nose bleeding.

"'Um... it's too out there, isn't it?' Aguri asked, and I suddenly realized I'd been staring. 'Sorry,' she said as I hurriedly made excuses and covered my nosebleed, 'it just looked super cute on the mannequin...

"I turned away, trying to figure out what was going on. My fingers were stretching like tentacles. Was it the experiments doing this to me, I wondered.

"Aguri giggled. 'Those tentacles do a good job of keeping you honest,' she said, and I stared at her. 'I don't think they choose their shape at random. It's just possible they reflect how you prefer to see yourself.'

"'What do you mean?'

"'Imagine what you'd be now if you hadn't been born where you were. You'd still be smart, slightly perverted, a little bit goofy, not to mention remarkably stubborn. But your smile would be open and honest, not just a means to an end.'

"The Reaper and Aguri continued talking. He learned about her new students in E Class, and how she had a little sister who was an acclaimed actress. 'A picture of my sister?' she replied when I asked her. 'I don't have one. She said she needs to lie low for a little while, while she grows up and becomes an adult. So,' she said with a smile, 'I can't get in her way. Because I want to protect both my students and my sister gently from the shadows.'

"Improving people. Raising a weak person to be strong. That was a world the Reaper knew nothing about. But before he knew it, talking to Aguri, that fake smile had become real.

"'A present for me?' I asked in surprise.

"Aguri smiled. 'Yeah! You keep saying your neck is cold, so this ought to keep you warm! And more importantly,' she added, showing me the contents of the box in her hands, 'it's fashionable!'

"I tried to smile, but my face just wouldn't make the right expression. 'Thanks...?' I said, my mouth a twisted squiggle.

"'Oh... you're not a fan,' Aguri sighed.

"'No no,' I hurriedly said, 'I just... I mean, why a present out of the blue?'

"Aguri said, 'Because, as of today, it's been a year since we've met. And, since you don't know when you were born, why not treat our anniversary like... your birthday? You listen to me babble on about my personal life all the time, and give me great advice. So please, as a friend, let me give you a proper birthday.'

"I sighed and smiled. 'Alright then,' I said. I could see in her eyes there would be no talking her out of this.

"She smiled. 'Okay, it's settled. ...Except, of course, I'm not really sure how to give you this. Guess I forgot to figure in the class. Awkward...' She placed her hand on the glass between us. 'Yanagisawa's hounding me to quit my teaching job and work here full-time. Maybe I should... I mean, the latest crop of students, they're so... I don't know, unique. I'm not sure I can reach them. I'm just... I'm too green. Too... whatever.

"'Still though,' she said, pressing firmly against the glass, 'this may sound cheesy, but they're a good group of kids. It's students like them that make me want to teach in the first place.' She pressed her forehead against the glass. 'I _can't_ quit. I can't give up on other people. They need a teacher, someone who believes in them.' She fell silent for a few seconds. 'This hurts so much,' she said abruptly. 'I wish I could hold you... You've been my rock through all this. If I had your strength, I could... I could get through one more year.'

"My hair started to wave. As I smiled and pressed my hand on the glass opposite hers, thin tentacles of individual strands of hair passed through the tiny breathing holes in the glass that let us talk to each other. Aguri gasped as the tentacles wove into a hand that gently cupped her cheek. 'Hang in there, okay?' I said, pressing my forehead against the glass. 'You've got what it takes.'

"'...Thanks,' Aguri whispered.

"The first time they knew one another's touch was six hours before the birth of the crescent moon.

 _'Plot twist,' I muttered. Anything to distract myself from the fury coursing through my body. So, Yanagisawa was just like Sugou._

"The antimatter-generating cells continually produced tremendous energy using the power of the cell cycle. With only twenty cow-sized antimatter lifeforms, an entire country could be supplied with energy. It was the research of everyone's dreams. However, Yanagisawa and his team had a single concern regarding a flaw in the aging process. When the cell divisions surpassed its limits... What effect would it have on the antimatter generation cycle?

"To investigate this, they began experimentation on a mouse, which ages faster than a human. As a precaution, this experiment took place on the moon, where there would be no casualties. Initially, there were no problems. And just when they thought nothing would happen... the results proved to be catastrophic. The instant the cell division stopped, the antimatter generation cycle continued unabated and rushed out from the cells. The matter on the moon was converted to more antimatter in a chain reaction, and obliterated seventy percent of the moon in a tremendous explosion.

"The facility was in chaos, so it was inevitable Yanagisawa would shout about the calculations he'd done - the Reaper would die on March 13th of the following year, unless they ended his life before then. It was simply bad luck that Aguri happened to overhear his words.

"And, because she didn't see the Reaper as a guinea pig, but as a human she'd bonded with, it was equally inevitable that she would tell this information to the man in question.

"'So I'm doomed to die a horrible death, so what?' I replied. 'It's not like I don't have it coming.'

"'You can't give up without trying!' Aguri exclaimed, spreading her arms. 'There has to be a way to save-'

"'That said,' I continued, ignoring her, 'it'd be a shame to waste this power in the meantime.' I slowly curled my hand into a fist, and Aguri gasped. 'It's been fun, Aguri,' I said. 'Goodbye. I think it's about time to go. Sooner than expected, maybe,' I remarked as my body started shift and sway, 'but I know I'm more than equal to the challenge. I've been here long enough.'

"Tentacles erupted from my body, tearing my clothes apart. 'No, wait!' Aguri begged me. 'This isn't you! You're not the person you were!'

"'You gonna stop me?' I asked her, tentacles waving around me.

"'Yes!'

"As Aguri blinked, surprised by her own words, I smirked cruelly. 'Oh really? With what? Those little arms? That stunning intellect?' I placed my hand on the glass. My fingers had already started to elongate as the tentacles transformed my entire body. 'Unless your abilities surpass mine, sweetheart, you don't have a prayer of stopping me anymore than you do saving me.'

"The glass cracked underneath the force I was applying. 'Frankly, you're not even worth the trouble of taking as a hostage.' It cracked further. 'So unless you want a pointless death, leave. Now.'

"The glass cracked and became clouded, fully blocking us from each others' view. I could still hear her, though, as she walked to the door and said, 'It's Yukimura. Unlock door one. I need out.'

"The door hissed shut behind her, and I smiled. 'Alright,' I said. 'It's time to reap the fruits of torture and see _what I'm capable of!_ '

"I embraced the tentacles as they exploded around me, transforming me as I gave in to the bloodlust. My body was formed almost entirely of tentacles; my hair had turned white as the tentacles grew out. Tentacles replaced my arms, transforming my five-fingered hands into white tentacles with three pseudo-pods.

"Yanagisawa had been smart enough to set up redundancies on redundancies for the security in my cage, but a little mucus to keep the panels shut was enough to neutralize the outside threats. 'Much obliged, Yanagisawa,' I said to the last remaining security camera. 'This new body is practically invincible. Then again, I did give you quite a bit to work with.' A white tentacle smashed the camera.

"With my new power, it was child's play to smash my way out of the cells that had been restraining me. As I burst through the last door between me and freedom and stepped into a research lab, however, I saw Yanagisawa and a group of guards standing in front of me, sheltered behind a fence made of Anti-Tentacle material. The experiment's failure, the guinea pig's rebellion, Aguri's change of heart. The only thing stimulating Yanagisawa now was his pride, shattered in pieces. He barked, 'Fire!' The guards that had lined up in a row opened fire, the pink bullets you all know as Anti-Me BBs shooting towards me. I was too fast for them, however.

"I flicked three pieces of gravel. 'If you're trying to hit a major artery,' I said as three guards collapsed backwards in a spray of crimson blood, 'a grain of sand will do the trick.' I launched more pieces of sand, and with each one another guard died. 'I could have slaughtered the likes of you whenever I pleased. I started approaching them.

"Something shot through me from behind, piercing my chest and spraying blood, and I grunted in pain and shock.

"A tentacle mine. A by-product of the antimatter production process. The researchers had also researched how to make it survive by itself. If tentacles are transplanted into humans, they become the killing machine. If one of them is put into a container with sensors, the tentacle can be launched at supersonic speeds as a deadly projectile.

"Mines had been placed throughout the room Yanagisawa confronted me in, and one after another the tentacles ripped through my body. Yanagisawa's superior smirk was wiped off of his face when, the tentacles wriggling and dying on the ground in front of me, I stood up. 'You're going to need more than this,' I growled. My tentacles had turned black from the bloodlust and anger filling me. 'I don't die that easily!' My entire body, by this point, had become mostly tentacles. My skin had turned black, and my teeth were jagged and sharp.

"'K-Kill him!' Yanagisawa shouted as more guards rushed the hallway. 'Block him in and fire at will!'

"I laughed madly as I slaughtered the guards easily. They were no match for my tentacles; not a one fired so much as a single bullet. My speed was insane as I cackled, killing them all.

"I picked up a nearby table and hurled it through the fence, tearing a massive hole. The corner of the table smashed into Yanagisawa's eye, knocking him to the ground, shrieking in pain.

"It doesn't matter, I'll die in a year either way, whether it's here or somewhere else, I thought. Heh, if I take the Earth with me, so much the better.

"When he saw his own death, the all-powerful assassin felt like he could see anything. What was dangerous, who was strong, who was still alive. He saw everything... And as his tentacles raged, destroyed everything.

"He hadn't seen the woman, who was neither an enemy nor an obstacle, move until she wrapped her arms around his waist and hugged him tightly. 'No, stop! Don't leave! If you do, there's no turning back!' she seemed to be saying with her desperate hug. She had seen everything, and despite it all, she was hopeful.

"I... I hadn't expected her to react as she did. This was something completely new.

"She was able to look at me as a human being... and yet I wasn't able to see her.

"There was a soft _pi_ sound. And a tentacle mine speared through Aguri, piercing her gut.

"It was a fatal wound. One that even the Reaper, on the cutting edge of medical science, couldn't fix. 'Why?' I asked as I kneeled over her body, cradling her in my tentacles. 'Why did you...'

"'That was kinda stupid, huh?' she gasped weakly. 'Guess I should have been more careful where I was going... But I figured that shouting wouldn't be enough to stop you.'

"She was exactly right. If he'd gone to the outside world in that state, his distorted emotions would distort the tentacles, and his distorted tentacles would distort his emotions. He was on the brink of becoming a dark creature of nothing but destruction. What called him back... was her touch.

"If I'd been a fraction of a second quicker, if I'd practiced using my tentacles for something other than killing! I thought.

"The hitman grew up hating the world. Everything he gained was used for the purpose of destroying his opponents. Scientific knowledge, combat skills, communication skills, or his tentacles... He finally realized, there were numerous other ways to use his abilities.

"Why? I couldn't help but think. I had plenty of time to notice! If I'd just seen... Why must it always be death and destruction with me?! Why? Why?! 'Oh god, Aguri,' I said. 'I killed you...'

"'Don't be so dramatic,' she said. 'It wasn't your fault. No one made me come after you. I knew the risk, accepted it, and chose my priorities. That's just how important you are to me, silly. I bet one of these days... you'll meet someone just as important to you.'

"'There is no one as important as you. I'm sorry... You should have been the one to kill me!'

"Blood splattered on the ground as Aguri coughed and spat it out weakly. 'Listen, you have a year left,' she said weakly. 'If you could sacrifice a little bit of your time, give the children the chance to succeed. In a way... they're like you. Wandering through the dark, waiting for someone to turn on the light. Someone who can take them as they are, warts and all.'

"'...If you say so.'

"Her hand lightly stroked the tentacles holding her. 'Such lovely tentacles,' she said. 'With hands like these, you can reach them. I know it...' She placed a hand on my cheek. '...in my heart.'

"Her hand fell limply across her body as Aguri Yukimura died in my arms.

"'I'm sorry,' I whispered.

"In the former teacher's pocket was the birthday present, a tiny shard of stone piercing a hole in the center. It was an enormous necktie, the likes of which he could never imagine wearing. Then, he really understood. Her many faults had been part of her charm.

"'In the time I have left, I will be a teacher. I will take up the torch in your honor. Take the children as they are. No matter what, I will never turn my back on them.' This the Reaper swore to her.

"Shouting was approaching rapidly. The Reaper wrote a note explaining that he could be found at Kunugigaoka Class 3-E, and gently touched the cooling blood of the corpse in front of her. He stared at it as it colored his tentacles red... and then flew away.

"He showed tremendous speed. His human cells were completely replaced with tentacles, letting him live again as a brand-new life form. With this power, he could do anything. What sort of creature he became, depended on his desire.

"The tentacles spoke to me. They asked what I wanted to be. 'To be weak,' I said. 'To be flawed, and vulnerable. To perceive weakness in others, not to exploit, but to protect. To be a guide. To be a teacher.'

"Sometimes I'll be wrong. Sometimes my old self will bubble up to the surface. But I'll give it my all. I'll honor Aguri's work the best way I know how.

"After escaping the lab, I used a meteor shower as cover to bury myself in the hill behind Kunugigaoka. While I was there, the tentacles changing me, I used the plants and charcoal to create a set of robes I could wear. Then, once I was finished becoming a teacher, I burst from the rock. The tie was tied around my neck.

"The Mach 20 novice teacher slowly stood up, looking out over the city lights."

* * *

"That's my story, boys and girls," Korosensei said solemnly. We all stood silently, trying to take everything in. "The person who taught me how to be a teacher, was none other than Aguri Yukimura." Kayano, who'd been looking haunted ever since Yukimura's name first came out of Korosensei's mouth, flinched and looked up at him. "She taught me to truly look at people, to respect everyone as an equal, not to define human beings by their weakness.

"She was wonderful," he continued. Kayano lowered her head, but her shoulders shook violently and I could hear the stifled sobs she was trying to hide as she leaned against Okuda. "Through her, I found my purpose in life. I evaluated my experience, collected all the knowledge I could, and prepared to pick up where she left off. I vowed to use my abilities to my fullest, to pass the gift of personal growth onto you. The question was, how? How best to reach her cherished E Class? I racked my brain, day and night, and suddenly it came to me." He placed a tentacle over his heart. "An entirely new kind of learning environment. The assassination classroom."

Nine months. It felt like more and less at the same time, but that was the total amount of time we'd spent with Korosensei. I wasn't sure if he'd truly managed to pass his gift of growth to me, but he was still the best teacher we could have asked for. And, as I glanced around at the other students, still silent, I could tell not a single one of us doubted Korosensei's story.

It just fit too perfectly. Korosensei could anticipate and dodge any assassination attempt we threw at him no matter how esoteric or improvised, because he'd been the world's greatest hitman before this. He'd already surpassed all of us, and there was nothing new we could try.

"However," Korosensei said, "the bond we have created between us is that of an assassin and his target. If that weren't the case, I could never have become your teacher. And if we weren't assassins and target, you would never have given your all against me and grown. And for this reason, this bond can only be ended with an assassination. If an assassin not part of E Class kills me. If I surrender and they execute me. If I commit suicide. Or if time runs out and I explode," Korosensei said, turning to stare at the crescent moon. "In any of those cases, my life will end and the bond between us will be cut before your graduation. If I have to be killed," he said, "at the very least I want to be killed by you and not by someone else."

My eyes widened. Almost against my will, memories flooded back of the time I'd spent with Korosensei in vivid detail. The times when I'd been scared of him, the times when he'd irritated me to no end, the times when I'd been grinning, and the times when I'd been enjoying myself without realizing.

I stared at Korosensei, seeing him in a sudden new light. This was... Ah. I'd been doing my best to ignore it up until now, but Korosensei recounting his past had forced me to acknowledge it head-on. I'd been enjoying myself making attempts against his life, seriously giving my all to each time I tried to kill, but I'd never stopped to think what would happen had I actually succeeded. I'd never wanted to think about it, even subconsciously.

I realized exactly what kind of task had truly been assigned to us in this assassination classroom.

We have to _kill_ Korosensei.

* * *

The date of the end was March 13th. Ironically enough, that was the exact day of Kunugigaoka's graduation ceremony. I would have laughed, had it not irritated me so much.

New Year's came and went. It was January 6th. I didn't need to ask any of the others in the class. I knew, without a shred of doubt, that I was the only person in E Class that had drafted plans to assassinate Korosensei over winter break.

I never reached much further than the planning stages, though. Every time I tried to stand in front of the whiteboard and create an assassination plan, my mind wouldn't stop going back to that night on the hill, when Korosensei told us everything about his past and I'd finally realized exactly what was being asked of us.

Every time I stood there, trying to kill the teacher that had given us everything, and every time I was unable to come up with anything. Still, every day I went to that board and stood there. My pride as a mercenary would accept nothing less.

So, when Nagisa called my phone, I was more than willing to go to the hospital with him and a few others from class to see Kayano. Sugino, Kanzaki, and Okuda were all coming along as well to see the hospitalized girl.

"So, how's it going, Kayano - sorry, Miss Yukimura," Nagisa said, placing a fruit basket on the wooden desk nearby before awkwardly stumbling over his words.

The green-haired girl smiled. "You can call me Kayano," she said. Her voice sounded... fuller and richer. Had she been keeping it high all this time? "After all this time, the name's grown on me." At least she seemed healthy enough. She was awake and aware; her color was better, and the tentacles didn't seem to have any lasting effect. The doctors had assured us that she'd be out of the hospital in time for classes to start up again.

"Sorry about your winter break," Sugino said. I took an apple from the gift basket and went in search of a small fruit knife to cut it into bite-sized pieces. When one failed to materialize in the room itself, I clicked my tongue with a _tsk_ and pulled a small pocketknife out of my pant pocket. I'd have to clean it later, fruit juice is awful for blades... "I don't imagine the holidays were all that much fun."

"At least I'll make it back for the new term," Kayano said. "How about you? Did you make use of the time off?"

"Not so much," Sugino said. I took a seat on the couch next to Kanzaki and Okuda and started peeling the apple. "Assassination plans were just... hard to think about."

Kayano looked past all of us, her eyes filled with regret. "Yeah, I'm sorry," she said. "It's all my fault. Now that I've been told the truth, there's at least some sense of closure about Aguri. But knowing where Korosensei comes from doesn't make this any easier."

"You can't blame yourself." Kayano looked up at Nagisa's words. "The truth was going to come out one way or another."

"We've all been in denial," Okuda added gently. "None of us wanted to face what this was about. I mean, it's been a blast, right? And who's had time to think about where it was leading us?"

Nagisa stared at Kayano's bed in thought. "Everyone spent the break thinking about how we're going to face what's left of the year. You're right, it's all fun and games until things get real."

Silence fell over the hospital room - Kayano had enough money, and the government helped, that she didn't have to share the room with anyone - only broken by the soft scrape of my knife across the apple as I cut it into slices. It was soothing, to just move my hands and not think abut anything.

Finally Nagisa shifted. "Oh," he said awkwardly, a slight blush touching his cheeks, "I almost forgot, I owe you an apology." Kayano looked up at him curiously. "Sorry about the kiss, honest." He bowed at the waist, hanging his head. "It was... the only thing I could think to do in the heat of the moment." Kayano's spine stiffened, and I smirked just a little bit. Oh ho... "Are you mad at me?" he asked.

Kayano waved her hand. "Are you kidding?" she asked easily. "That kiss happened to save my life. I'm totally in your debt now."

As Nagisa straightened up, Kayano stared at her knees. Heh. "Ah, what a relief," Nagisa sighed. Dude, you can't seriously be this dense. "I was sure you were through with me."

"You worry too much," Kayano said, rolling onto her side and pulling the covers over her head so she didn't have to show her face to any of us. "BFFs for life!" she chirped, her voice muffled by the blanket.

Kanzaki smiled at Kayano. I'm like... fifty percent sure she's picked up on it too. "We should probably head out," she said, standing up. "I'm certain she needs her rest."

"Right, right, let's go," Nagisa said. "Bye, Kayano."

"See you in a couple days," Okuda called.

"Later," Sugino said with a wave Kayano couldn't possibly see.

They all filed out of the hospital room; I stayed behind, reclining casually on the couch. I needed to speak with Kayano, but if she did actually fall asleep I'd just come back the next day. Still, I was pretty sure...

"Uwaaaaaah!" Kayano suddenly cried out, spinning in circles under her blanket as her feet kicked.

Yep. Called it~. I could tell just from her voice that she was absolutely mortified.

Her head poked out of the covers as she stared at nothing, eyes spinning. Her cheeks were bright red, and I'm pretty sure I knew exactly why.

Heh... The python definitely got its prey in the end. Kayano had everything - speed, firepower, technique, even tentacles - and she was in the best position to kill Korosensei. If our class had one, she would have been the top assassin. Up until Nagisa bumped her out, defeating her with a single kiss.

She was like a rabbit, totally ensnared by the python's coils.

It was adorable.

Kayano rolled over, staring at the wall; her back was to me now, so I couldn't see her face, but judging by her body posture she was hugging her knees to her chest. "So now I play the part of his friend?" she murmured. "Guess so..."

I sighed. "Bullshit-"

"Eeeeek!" Kayano yelped, sitting straight upright and scrambling to look at me "N-Nick?! When did you get here?! I thought you left with the others!"

Huh? She didn't know I was still here? Weird. She had to be good at detecting my presence, she was one of the best assassins in class. "No, I didn't, and yes I _did_ hear all that."

Kayano's face somehow got even redder. I think I saw steam coming off of her.

"Anyway," I said, folding my arms behind my head, "as I was about to continue, I thought you said you weren't going to be acting anymore?" I raised an eyebrow at her.

Kayano was shaking now. Her embarrassment levels were through the roof. I think she'll have a coronary if I stay any longer.

"Anyway, I wanted to ask you a few questions, but I can see you're a bit busy, so, uh... see ya!" I said cheerfully, putting the plate of apple slices on the drawers next to the fruit basket. "Bye, Kayano. See you in class."

My only answer was a quiet moan of absolute embarrassment. It sounded like she wanted to just dig a fifty-meter hole, jump in, and then just hide until the end of days.

Heh.

A few days later, we all sat in the E Class campus, awkwardly doing our best to pretend we weren't all still wrapped up in our thoughts about Korosensei. "Okie-dokie, class," Korosensei said cheerfully, like he didn't sense the tension in the room. "Third term is upon us! I want everyone to play hard and kill hard." The joke fell flat. Silently, Korosensei slithered out of the room.

We all stared at the tops of our desks silently. Nobody wanted to be the first to speak up. "An assassin can't afford to be reckless," Professor Bitch suddenly said from where she was leaning against the door frame. "We don't kill out of greed, we don't kill out of desperation. We _don't_ let ourselves become animals." Her eyes were hard. "It's the stupidest way to kill someone."

"Professor Bitch," Kurahashi said weakly.

"And the second most foolish way to kill someone," she said, "is to kill someone while killing your own emotions." My eyes snapped towards her, even while I physically relaxed on my desk. "Take my word for it," she said, smiling faintly. "Whatever you kids decide, think it through first. Feelings are difficult to kill, but they're a lot harder to resurrect."

Her advice given and heard, even if we might not listen to it, Professor Bitch walked away, sliding the door shut behind us.

"She's right, you know," I said quietly, after the silence stretched out over E Class. I knew the rest of the class was looking at me, but I just stared straight ahead at the chalkboard. '3rd Term Begins! 64 Days until the Earth's Destruction! Nue-heh-heh-heh!' "Killing your emotions just to kill your target isn't something you come back from easily. You have... to get extremely lucky," I said, in a flat and detached voice. Like I was talking about someone else. "And even then, you'd still feel the damage."

"Lucky... how?" Yada asked gingerly.

I smiled humorlessly. It was just a slight twitch of the lips. "You'd have to find something worth bringing those feelings back," I said. "Perhaps someone you love, or... just a family you can call your own."

I was grateful when nobody asked more questions. I'm sure they all understood what I told them, though.

If anything, I was even more grateful they accepted it silently.

At the end of the period, Nagisa called us all out to the back of the forest. "Okay," Terasaka said, leaning his head in his hands. "Ain't really like you to call us all together like this, Nagisa. What's the deal?"

He stood in the center of the clearing, E Class forming a rough circle around him. The sun shone on him, but the shade dappled by leaves danced across the rest of us. "There's something I wanted to talk to you about," Nagisa said.

"We're listening," Kataoka said.

Nagisa lifted his chin, and looked at all of us. I didn't meet his gaze for long - I still hate it - but the brief moment of eye contact was enough to see the resolution in him. "I'm not even sure it's possible," he began.

"But instead of killing Korosensei, I think we should try to save him."

* * *

 **Woah, plot twist! Who could have seen that coming? (anyone that's familiar with the source material)**

 **This one's roughly split into three main sections: Saving Kayano, Korosensei's Past, and Aftermath. Saving Kayano is a fun one, because I want it to show Nick's character growth so far, even if he doesn't really realize what's going on. All's well that ends well, anyway, so Kayano is safe. Happy days.**

 **Korosensei's past, though, I'm not a huge fan of? It's a very important section of the piece, giving context to all of Korosensei's actions and motivations as well as setting up a few late-game hints. But at the same time, by definition it doesn't involve Nick in the slightest; so it's basically no different from the source material. Ugh… Oh well, I had to do it.**

 **Finally, the Aftermath. Heh, poor Kayano, Nick's teasing is too much for her. (Also pay attention to the fact that she didn't know he was there. It's important.) The girl's super embarrassed by what happened. Also, moving on, Irina gives the class a pep-talk when they're all mopey, followed by Nick actually opening up to people for once. Whaat? What even is this series anymore?**

 **Many thanks to everyone that favorited, followed, or reviewed.**


	15. Discord Time

**Chapter 15: Discord Time**

 **(64 Days)**

* * *

Nagisa lifted his chin, and looked at all of us. I didn't meet his gaze for long - I still hate looking people in the eye - but the brief moment of eye contact was enough to see the resolution in him. "I'm not even sure it's possible," he began.

"But instead of killing Korosensei, I think we should try to save him."

"Save him?" Kimura asked.

Mimura said, "By like... finding a way to keep him from self-detonating come March, or what?"

"Where do we start?" Okano asked.

Under all the questions, Nagisa just lowered his chin, staring at the ground. "I don't know," he admitted. "Yet. But..."

Kurahashi threw her hand up in the air. "Totally!" she chirped. "I'm game! Korosensei's _way_ too good of a bug-hunting buddy to let him explode." A small step forward, and she was standing in the light.

"Kurahashi..." Nagisa breathed.

Behind Nagisa, Kataoka smiled and stepped forward into the sunny clearing. "Thank you for bringing it up," she said. "If you hadn't said something, I would've. Saving him's the least we can do."

"So you're on board?" Nagisa asked.

"Seems appropriate," Hara said. She stepped forward as well. "It _is_ what this class has been leading to."

Sugino grinned and clenched his fist. That's right, Nagisa is his best friend... Of course he'd support this course of action. "Damn right," he said. "I'm in! Far as I'm concerned, it's a whole new challenge."

Fuwa folded her arms. "Like a new story, sort of."

Of course, there were the dissenters. Okano seemed troubled by the resolve to save Korosensei several people seemed to have. "I really don't want to live with the guilt," she said. "I mean, we're at least obligated to give it a shot..." She stepped forward out of the shade.

Leaning against a tree, I frowned. She's... not certain. She's hesitant. I can tell, because I've been with these people for nearly a year. I know them, how they act and how they react.

"Guys..." Nagisa said, before smiling, pressing a hand over his chest as about half the class gathered around him.

It's interesting, really. The ones in the light are the ones willing to save Korosensei, while those of us still in the shadow...

"I really hate to be the one who spoils the mood," Nakamura said, watching the happy cluster with steely eyes, "but I'm against it."

When the small group of people turned to look at her, she stepped forward a few steps. "We're assassins," she said, "he's the target. _That's_ our bond. Korosensei said so himself. I don't know about you, but I cherish that bond. Think about it," she said. " _Not_ killing him would defeat the purpose."

"Nakamura, I..." Nagisa said, staring at her in surprise. What, did he really think people would just roll over and do what he said?

The group split into two factions. Nagisa's group, the blue-haired boy backed by everyone who'd already agreed, and Nakamura's group, flanked by Terasaka and his squad - Itona included, the silver-haired boy jumping down from the tree he'd been sitting in. The undecided members of the class hung on the outskirts of the confrontation, nobody really sure what to do.

I leaned against the tree I'd chosen, arms folded as I watched the conflict. Which way will it go? Not that it particularly matters to me.

"You're against it?" Nagisa asked.

"We get wantin' to save him and all," Terasaka said. "But, how do we know it's even doable?"

Nagisa waved a hand. "Well, I-"

"You act like you're the only one who's been thinkin' about this," Yoshida told him.

"Also," Muramatsu added, "what happens if the clock runs out on us before we find a way? Did you consider that?"

All valid points, and when Nagisa bowed his head slightly, I knew he didn't really have an answer to it. All he had was his wants and desires, to find a way to save Korosensei.

"Seriously," Terasaka said, "you want the octopus's last thought to be 'Damn, my students are a buncha half-asses'?"

The Save Korosensei team was looking conflicted, now that Terasaka and the others had made surprisingly eloquent points. "...No, but!" Nagisa exclaimed. "We owe it to him -"

"Always the talented ones, huh."

I glanced over to the other side of the clearing, where Karma was leaning against the tree. "Figuring whatever the odds, in the end things will always work out. Wow," the redhead said, a mocking smile aimed straight at Nagisa, "listen to you. Getting a tad full of yourself there, chief."

"Huh?"

"Granted," Karma said, "you're the most gifted one in our class. Not even Nick can compare to your assassination skills." I spread my arms, shrugging helplessly. "But seriously, we should just up and scrap the whole assassination plan?" He started walking forward, hands in his pockets. The whole time, his eyes never left Nagisa. "What about the underdogs? Those of us who work ourselves sick just to squeak by on what little talent we have? How are _we_ supposed to feel? You're like a hot chick telling her homely friends there's no point in finding a man! 'Course, you don't have a problem changing the rules, you've already won the game," he sneered.

"Tha...That's not what I'm trying to say at all," Nagisa said. "Besides, I'm not the gifted one. Between you and me, _you're_ the better assassin."

I rolled my eyes and stepped forward to join the rest of the class. This is going to get ugly...

"Okay, hearing you talk like that just pisses me off even more," Karma said, rubbing the back of his neck. His eyes betrayed his anger. "You know what your problem is, Nagisa?! You've got no respect for how hard this is for everyone who isn't you!"

"Whoa, whoa!" Nagisa shouted. "Where is this coming from?! I'm just telling you how I feel!" Karma scowled. "Do you have an axe to grind with Korosensei or something? He took us to the movies! He's made learning fun!"

"That's my point!" Karma shouted. "Why do you think he bothered, huh? He didn't want us to end up like a bunch of whiny, half-assed jerks and _look at you_!" he roared. "Assassinating him is what this entire class is based on and you're trying to find a loophole! You want to undermine what Korosensei's done? Or do you have the mind _and_ the body of a ten-year-old?" he sneered.

Nagisa jerked at that last insult, before lowering his head. A shadow crossed over his face.

When he raised his head, I could feel the bloodlust in his gaze.

Karma twitched, bloodlust pouring off of him too. "Ah? What's with that look?" the taller boy sneered. "Oh, the itty-bitty mouse wanna roar? Feel like it can take on a lion?" With the sun casting his entire front in shadow, he looked almost demonic.

Nagisa lowered his gaze, the bloodlust fading. "No, I-"

Karma slammed a palm against Nagisa's chest, sending the smaller boy stumbling back with a grunt. "Got something to say?" Karma sneered, walking up to him. "Kick my ass for once, and you can say whatever you like. Oh, don't be shy," he taunted when Nagisa didn't move, "what are you afraid of?" He thrust forward again, slamming his palm against Nagisa's chest. The boy stumbled back, and Karma just stepped forward to do it again and again. "Let's settle this like men! C'mon!"

Nagisa lost his balance and was about to tip over, so Karma grabbed the necktie around his throat -

\- Nagisa's eyes flared with killing intent -

\- a python coiled around Karma's neck, the viper within me hissing as it sensed kin -

\- as Nagisa wrapped his legs around Karma's neck, grabbing onto the boy's hand. Forcing Karma to support his weight on just his neck, Nagisa fell to the ground, choking Karma with the force of his legs.

"Oh!" Terasaka gasped. "A flying triangle hold!"

Shit... I would have intervened before now, when it was just an argument, but now that it was a duel, I...

"I am not," Nagisa snarled as Karma choked, veins bulging in his neck, " _a whiny half-ass jerk_!"

"Well alright then," Fuwa said. "When did Nagisa learn that move?"

"Mr. Karasuma taught students self-defense techniques," Kimura replied, "so that we could fight back against assassins that would use us as hostages. But he's still no match for Karma in hand-to-hand combat..."

Karma slowly stood up, shaking with the effort of lifting himself and Nagisa. Nagisa gasped in shock. Karma's strength must be immense...

Snarling, eyes filled with bloodlust as he smirked, Karma drew back a fist. "You... little..."

Before he could throw the punch, though, Isogai and Maehara tackled him, sending Nagisa tumbling to the ground. "Knock it off!" Maehara shouted.

"What the hell are the two of you trying to prove?" Isogai shouted. The two of them were desperately clinging to Karma, trying to hold him back even as the redhead struggled.

"Okay..." Maehara grunted, barely able to keep one of Karma's arms restrained with both of his, "I don't think I can hold him back..."

Meanwhile, Sugino was able to keep Nagisa in place just by holding his arms around the blue-haired kid's waist. Nagisa flailed impotently in the air with his arms and legs. Heh.

"Damnit Karma, would you chill out already?" Maehara shouted. Meanwhile, the other members of the class watched on in shock and dismay.

At least this time, if Karma breaks free from Maehara and Isogai, I should be able to stop him from lunging for Nagisa again.

"A good old-fashioned schoolyard fight?" At the unexpected voice, both Karma and Nagisa stopped struggling, turning to face the source. "Outstanding! However, you're the assassination classroom!"

Korosensei was standing there, wearing a tan military uniform. He even had the shades and corncob pipe to go with it as he blew little smoke rings in the air. In one tentacles, he held a pistol; and in the other, an assault rifle. "This is how we settle our differences," he said.

Silence filled the air for a few seconds as everyone froze, staring at the octopus.

 _What kind of mediator are you?!_ half of the class seemed to be thinking. Of course, I couldn't blame them, since Korosensei was essentially suggesting Nagisa and Karma shoot each other.

In a blur of speed, Korosensei dropped two boxes on the ground in front of us, along with several cans of pellets. One side was red, the other was blue. "Why are you dressed like a general?" Maehara asked him.

"Nue-heh-heh... It's appropriate for this situation, I believe," Korosensei said.

I snickered. "The very model of a modern major-general."

Takebayashi leaned over the pellets, adjusting his glasses. "Oh, these are just regular paintballs," he said.

"The paint bullets have been divided into two colors, while the Anti-Me knives have been prepared with ink. I've also prepared flags and arm bands for two different teams. Red for those who feel I must be liquidated," Korosensei said. "Blue for those who beg to differ. Before we begin," he growled, shifting to grizzled old general voice somehow, "I want each of you to state his or her position clearly, and choose a color. Then, after battling it out on the mountainside like civilized human beings, the winning team's opinion prevails."

Everyone drew in a sharp breath. I crossed my arms. I see... Like a guild squabble, then. "Absolutely no grudges allowed," Korosensei said. "Seem fair?"

Fair enough.

"It looks like fun, Korosensei," Okajima said, "even if this about your own life and death."

Terasaka shoved his hands in his pockets. "So in the end this is gonna be settled with strength, huh," he grumbled.

"To decide things with the majority rule is also a kind of force," Korosensei told him. "With this method, it's true that the majority will hold the advantage, but... if one team uses the creativity and ingenuity they've gained from the experiences in this class during the last year, they have the chance to win even if they have less manpower and military might."

All they'd have to do was capture the flag. No matter the length and size of the snake, cutting off the head will still kill it.

"For the record," Korosensei added, dropping the persona and taking off his sunglasses, "whatever the outcome, I'll respect your decision, provided you defend it with everything you have. You are _all_ a family. I can't abide for my students to be at odds with each other. If you truly care about me, promise what we've built here won't crumble into discord."

Isogai stepped forward and stared at the paint pellets before turning to the rest of us. "Well, guys?" he asked. Slowly, everyone nodded. This is how we'll settle it. "Right," he said. "Let's do it. To kill... or not to kill."

Karma, or Nagisa.

Who will I choose?

"Okay then," Chiba said. "So... guess I'll choose a side."

"Me too," Hayami said flatly. The two snipers walked forward.

Chiba said, "The insta-kill shot's almost there. We've put a lot of work toward it. As for who... what got us this far..." he said, while Korosensei nodded approvingly.

"I'm sure he'd want to see us take it all the way," Hayami said quietly.

Both snipers picked the red bullets.

"We keep our eyes on the target," she said.

Nagisa's shoulders slumped. "Chiba, Hayami, you..."

"My mind's made up," Kayano said. "I've already tried to assassinate him once, and I regret it." Memories of her screeching, raging face flashed in my mind's eye, and I winced. "I want Korosensei to live as long as possible. My sister felt the same way. Heh," she giggled, "must run in the family or something. No more death," she said gently as she picked up the blue bullets. "He's entitled to our protection."

I saw the relieved sigh on Nagisa's face, as well as the faint blush on Kayano's cheeks. I just grinned. Guess something else runs in the family, huh? Namely, their feelings for assassins~.

"The power of science is limitless!" Okuda declared, picking up the blue pellets. "If it can sow destruction, then surely it can find a way to save!"

Takebayashi picked up a gun from the blue weapon box. "Right," he said. "And it's not as though hope is slim. We can do anything together, I know we can."

Drawing a red-inked Anti-Korosensei knife, Okajima said, "Sorry, but us hands-on types? We kinda see this assassination as our big final project." He flicked the knife, painting a picture of Korosensei's head. "If Korosensei's going to die anyway," he declared, backed by Sugaya and Mimura, "this masterpiece will be his going-away present."

"Justice is a tricky concept for a kid like me," Kimura admitted. Ugh, that pun hurts. "You're the one who taught me to respect it. My choice is clear: gotta live up to my name," he said, pulling twin pistols from the red box.

Kanzaki picked up an assault rifle. "I suppose I'm selfish," she said. "I want him to keep giving us good advice."

"Save our planet, or save our teacher..." Hazama ran a finger along the red-inked edge of the Anti-Korosensei blade she picked up. "Blah blah blah. We're just going around in circles. I'm more a 'cut to the chase' kinda gal."

Yada held a can of blue bullets in her hands. "If you can't be true to your own feelings, what is there to life? I want him to live. That's that."

Maehara grinned, picking up another can of blue bullets. "Couldn't have said it better myself. We're simple guys at heart," he said, thumping Isogai's chest playfully. "For the two of us, we wanna save him because we wanna save him, y'know? Right?"

"Sure," Isogai nodded. "As long as I can still be sensitive to everyone else's needs."

Always the Prince Charming.

"I'm a simple guy," Itona said. "I joined this class to kill him. I've learned a lot," he said, picking up the red bullets. "Even made a few friends. Coming up with ways to kill him has been fun. So, yeah. More of that, please."

Kataoka held up her phone, so that Ritsu could make her choice. "It may be my prime directive," the AI girl said, "but... after several attempts to assassinate Korosensei, I'm at a loss. The protocol has changed. I've thought about this, and I've come to the conclusion that the target's death will be an immeasurable loss to us. The right course of action is unclear," she said, hugging her knees to her chest. "My current specs are unable to make an informed decision on the matter. So in the spirit of cooperation, I'll remain neutral."

Okano approached Korosensei and the boxes. "...Not gonna lie," she said. "I was in the No Kill camp. But after hearing everyone's thoughts, now I'm not so sure. I have a question," she said to Korosensei. "If we do this, does killing you necessarily mean we hate you?"

"Of course not, Okano," Korosensei said gently. "Quite the opposite, in fact. It's when you're killing me that I feel the most loved."

Okano bent down and picked up the red bullets. "Well, in that case," she said, "Nagisa, I'm sorry, but I'm sure my feelings are more in line with where these guys stand."

Nagisa nodded, smiling at her.

Naturally, Nagisa picked the blue team... at the same time Karma selected the red. Their eyes met... before the two turned away from each other in a huff and walked away.

"Oh man," Sugino sighed, holding a can of blue bullets. "This is gonna be one hell of a show, huh?"

"Hey, I've been kinda wondering about something," Kayano said to Sugino. "Nagisa and Karma... They've been friends for a while, right?"

Sugino nodded. "Yeah, sure. They've been in the same class since they were first years. They hang out all the time."

"Huh, but look how they act," Kayano said. "There's always this polite distance. You can hear it in the way they talk sometimes. Like they don't really feel comfortable with each other."

"Trust the actress to pick it up," I said slyly. Kayano and Sugino jumped before whirling to stare at me. What? Seriously? They need to get better about sensing bloodlust.

Unless... I wasn't giving off any bloodlust. That could explain why I was able to sneak up on them so well. Was it because my bloodlust was sheathed?

Eventually, everyone that hadn't been decided finished picking their factions.

Everyone except me.

I stood in front of the nearly empty boxes, staring at them. There was enough equipment left for me to use my favored loadout - two pistols, with a knife for close-quarters - regardless of which side I chose. It all came down to what I wanted to do.

Glancing up at Korosensei, I gave him a wry grin. "I'm guessing I can't just stay neutral like Ritsu, huh?" At the shake of his head, I sighed. "I figured as much. Oh well, coin flip it is."

I dug a coin out of my pocket and flipped it in the air with a quiet _ping_. It spun through the air, glittering, before descending down. I caught it-

\- only for nothing to hit my hand. Korosensei's tentacle had flicked out and snatched it away just before I grabbed it. "That won't do, Nick," he scolded me lightly, spinning the coin in his tentacles. "This isn't something you can just leave to chance."

"I..." But that's how I made my decisions. It was easier that way. I didn't have to choose, just obey.

I don't want to choose this. I can't choose this. I can't decide something like this! I'm just a weapon, that's all. I'm just aimed in a direction and given orders to kill. A mercenary.

But, that was the problem. I _was_ a mercenary, and my services had been contracted to kill Korosensei. The payment was incredibly large, courtesy of the Japanese government. If I refused to kill Korosensei here, then I was in breach of contract and had failed my job.

And on the other hand, I didn't want to lose Korosensei if he could be saved. I'm tired of losing people, over and over again. Even Yuuki, as much as the two of us grated against each other. I think, if we'd met differently, things might have been fun with her around. If I choose to save Korosensei, I won't have to lose someone else that's taught me.

That's why I wanted to flip the coin.

I never had to make these decisions in Aincrad. There, it was kill or be killed. Given a situation, there was an option that would kill me and an option that would give me the chance to fight back, and between those two... well, I wanted to go out fighting. It was a good enough excuse for going out, at any rate. And in Alfheim, I needed to rescue Asuna. Everything I did in there was part of that goal. There wasn't any time to hesitate. Gun Gale Online was a job I'd been hired to do, nothing more. The decisions had been made for me. Every time, I've been able to push off the decisions to someone else.

This time, though, Korosensei was saying there _was_ no one else. _I_ had to be the one to take responsibility for the choice, not someone else and not the coin I'd tried to flip.

I glanced over my shoulder. The class was watching me. My classmates were watching me. They were waiting for me to decide.

But they're asking me to choose between two sides of me! I _LIKE_ Korosensei, I don't want him to die!

But at the same time, because of the contract I have to kill him! Which do I choose? Rythin? Nick? Neither? Both? My emotions, or my pride? I can't choose between two equal halves of me.

I turned back to the boxes. How?! How do I decide? I can't... I can't... Can't decide!

I can't-

Korosensei's tentacle fell on my head, a reassuring weight. "It's okay, Nick," he said. "Making difficult choices is part of life. You'll come to a crossroads and have to choose between paths, and you'll always wonder what might lay down the road you didn't take. But you can't let indecision paralyze you."

I don't want to believe that. I hate not knowing. I hate the uncertainty. It terrifies me.

I don't want to accept that it's part of life.

"Like I've taught you," Korosensei said gently. "A single, swift strike."

But... Korosensei has never been wrong before when teaching us a lesson we need to learn.

And... And so, if it's true and I have to choose... Even then...

I knelt down...

"I genuinely do want Korosensei to live," I said.

"But I'm bloodthirsty, and always will be. And, in the end, I've been hired to assassinate you."

...and I picked the Kill team.

"Thank you, Korosensei," I said. "For teaching me how to wield my bloodlust, and how to grow. Let me show you the fruits of your labors."

Korosensei's smile softened, his eyes regarding me fondly. "Well done, Nick," he said.

"...Thank you, sir."

I stepped back, joining Karma, Nakamura, and the others. Nagisa, Kayano, and the others watched as I stopped beside Karma, filling up my magazine with the bullets.

Isogai nodded once I finished. "Okay," he said. "Looks like everyone's picked a side."

I glanced over our team, and then over at the No Kill team. Roughly even. No group has a numerical advantage over the other.

The armies are ready to fight.

Let the war begin.

* * *

The two teams split up and headed off to opposite sides of a clearing Korosensei had designated for us to use. The main central areas were both oval-shaped, with a thin path connecting the two. There were a few rocks, but no real cover. On either side of the center, a cliff rose that we could use if we wanted the high ground. The forest all around us was fair play as well, within a certain distance.

I scanned over my team. We got the majority of the boys... and almost all of the jungle specialists. Terasaka, Karma, Chiba and Hayami, and Kimura, Okano, and myself were the standouts, but they weren't the only ones.

Karasuma's voice crackled in my earpiece, and I broke off planning to listen to him. "The object is to steal the opposing team's flag, or to wipe them out entirely," he said. "It's my job to referee. I'll be watching from the midpoint. If I see zombies or any illegal moves, I'll call them. Don't worry," he said, "for all intents and purposes I'm blind to your respective positions. Got it?"

For a second, I was tempted to try forcing Karasuma out of his strict neutrality as part of the tactics I could use - after all, if he turned a blind eye to one or two zombies here and there, it would give us an immense advantage - but quickly dropped it. We'd just end up getting penalized for interfering with the referee.

"Furthermore," he continued, "to increase the functionality of your super gym clothes, I've added internal communications devices and an extremely thin visor to protect your eyes to your hoods. Use them as you see fit."

After that, we were given a few minutes to decide our strategy and get into position. We couldn't stray too far from the starting zones, of course, but it was still useful.

While Sugaya got busy applying the camouflage to us, I hummed to myself from my position at the base of the rock Karma had chosen. He was the pseudo-leader of Red Team, of course, and as Tactician it was my job to give him the plan to victory.

"AOE and Healers first," I muttered under my breath. There weren't any healers in this simulation, so that just left... Takebayashi. He was going to try something sneaky with explosives. "Then the commanders, to weaken their command structure." Going by the students on the Blue Team, that would be Kataoka and Isogai. Of the two class reps...

"Takebayashi and Kataoka," I said. She's the more dangerous; Isogai is charismatic and is able to get the others to perform, but Kataoka has better small-squad leadership abilities.

"Okay!" Terasaka shouted. "Leave the rest to me and follow my lead!" Idiot.

Above me, Karma was spinning the red-inked knife in his hands, staring at the blade silently as it danced across his fingers.

"You're not acting like you usually do, Karma," Nakamura said. She stood beside me, as the second-in-command should Karma be taken out. After that, command passed to me should _she_ die. "Dragging your feet?"

"...Sorry," Karma said, shaking his head and catching the knife. "I'm awake now. Nick, what do you have for me?"

"Chiba and Hayami," I said. "We need them to take out some high-value targets immediately." Yeah, that's better. The look in his eyes, his expression, is back to normal.

He nodded to Nakamura, who grinned. "That's better," the blonde said before running off to get the two.

"Takebayashi and Kataoka, then Isogai, right?" he said. I just nodded, studying him with a small half-smile. Scary scary, Karma. You've been holding back. I knew he was smart, but to figure out who I wanted to eliminate just by the two people I requested? I'm glad he's on my side.

We didn't have much time, so I gave Karma the quick rundown of who I thought should go where. Never once did my suggestions surprise him; and never once did he reject the idea I had. Really... What a monster he could be. To have already known what plan I'd be putting together, just by looking at what pieces we had in play. Once that was done, I filled him in on our rough gameplan - we had more units, and more powerful fighters. We could afford to turn this into an elimination battle, while they would be forced to go on the offensive and attack our flag. Especially if we took out their more dangerous players right off the bat, staying on the defensive would be in our best interest.

Come into my parlor, said the viper to the field mouse.

"Here we go," Karasuma's voice crackled in my ear. "Are you ready? Let the Inter-Class Assassination Survive Game...

"Begin!"

Nearly instantly, two chimes rang out from my earpiece. Kataoka and Takebayashi, dead.

Excellent. Right out of the gate, the snipers took them out. A tough shot, especially for Chiba, but their skills were up to the task.

Another burst of gunfire, from my left, followed by two more chimes. Chiba and Okajima, dead.

I clicked my tongue. If those two, who'd been placed on the outskirts in good sniping positions had been killed...

Kanzaki. The champion of the online war game. Even I couldn't beat her. She'd mastered the game, after spending a hell of a lot of hours in it.

...Just get her into Gun Gale Online and we'll see who's laughing then...

I closed my eyes and brought up the mental map of who was where. Judging by their relative locations, Kanzaki was... trying to circle around and flank us. I'd put Sugaya out on the perimeter for just that reason, though. "Sugaya," I said, "watch above you, Kanzaki is -"

 _Brakakakak_

"...Never mind," I said, releasing the comms with a sigh. _Ding._ Sugaya, dead.

I didn't really expect her, even though I'd put Sugaya out on watch. The center of the field was locked down, since we had strong snipers; and by taking out Kataoka and Takebayashi as early as we had, they'd lost their strongest weapons. Of course, the most obvious hole in our defenses, the best tactical decision, would be to go around. To see that instantly, and make a beeline through our defenses while aiming for the important tactical target, though, Kanzaki... She'd been hiding her fangs.

"Karma."

I glanced at the rock, but he was already gone. Figures...

He'd already moved once he figured out what Kanzaki's goal was. If I had to guess...

 _Ding._ Kanzaki, dead.

"Red Team, it's Karma," the internal comms crackled. "I'll be taking the lead, if that's alright with you, Nick."

I tapped my own comms. "Fine by me. I'm not a commander, just a tactician."

Karma's voice was calm and unflappable. "Mimura," he said, "there's high point to Mr. Karasuma's right. You should have a visual. Go for it."

"Copy that."

"Make sure no one sees you. Terasaka and the other stooges, I want you on defense at Face Rock." The one that looked like a face, on our left. A good staging ground, and a weakness if Blue Team takes it. "We're screwed if they make it past there, so play it tight." Heh. Those three are always pawns.

Karma continued calmly rattling off orders, before finally saying, "These are plans straight from our Tactician. Just play along, and he'll grant us another miracle." Ugh... Karma, you ass... I fidgeted uneasily. "Nick, go ahead and harass the Blue Team. Killing's nice, but not required if it'll get you caught. Unless you'd prefer to hang back?"

Back on familiar territory, I smiled peacefully. "No, it's fine," I said. "I started out as a solo player, after all." I cracked my neck. "Time to get back to basics."

Grinning, I hopped in place for a few beats to get my blood pumping and then launched myself forward, disappearing into the trees nearly effortlessly.

"Karma, I'm at the high point," I heard Mimura say, and I perched in the trees, making sure to blend in. Perks of being the best in the class at moving through the trees meant I was also the best at _being_ in the trees.

"Perfect," Karma said. "You should have a clear view of the enemy's movements. Anyone shows up, give me their positions and I'll give the team orders to mobilize."

Mimura wasn't really a combat specialist, but I could see what Karma was doing here. Mimura had the uncanny ability to blend in with the background so that your eyes passed right over him; couple that strange pseudo-invisibility with his producer's eye for the field, and we had a perfect recon soldier. Once their movements started being exposed, Blue Team would find him soon enough, but until then we'd have an eye in the sky.

"I see Sugino and Fuwa, I think," Mimura whispered. "Forest, right flank."

"Nice, keep it up. Hazama, this's your cue to advance."

I headed that direction as well; those two were good assassins, Sugino more so when it came to close-quarters, but they weren't the type to take the initiative. If they were there, they had backup - and I could harass whoever showed their face when striking back against Hazama.

Stopping in the trees a good distance away, I watched as Hazama crawled through the brush like a spider. Kinda creepy. Two quick shots later as she leered out from the bushes, and _ding._ Sugino and Fuwa, dead.

She kept firing - as expect, those two were part of Isogai's squad. "Where'd she even come from?!" Sugino shouted as Fuwa screamed.

"Stop being one with the shadows, dangit!" Isogai shouted. He and Yada were nearby and opened fire. Another quiet _ding_ and I shrugged. Hazama, dead. Still, she was useful as a pawn; she took out two fighters by herself, and she's not a combat specialist.

"Their ranks are in shambles," Karma said through the comms. "Now's the time for a surprise attack. Okano."

I'd find out later, exactly what happened after she replied...

...

"On it," Okano said, grinning with determination. After a deep breath, she jumped down from the tree -

-and slashed, her knife scoring down Kurahashi's back. The orange-haired insect enthusiast screamed in shock and reared back. Okano ducked down and sprang up again, her knife tracing a second line of red across Kurahashi's chest. As soon as the kill was confirmed, Okano turned and ran. Kayano was Kurahashi's backup, and was nearby.

"Aww..." she heard Kurahashi complain. "I lost the battle of the Hina's, I'm sorry..." she cried.

Okano circled around and peeked out from behind the tree trunk. Her eyes widened as she saw Kayano standing next to Kurahashi, consoling her. The perfect opportunity! Okano jumped down again, striking at Kayano while she was distracted. Her first strike barely missed as Kayano jumped back, followed by a second. Kayano grunted and lunged with her blade, but Okano leaned to the side, letting the knife pass under her arm. A second stab was dodged the same way.

Okano backed off and grinned. "Well done," she said, dodging Kayano's lunge with a sidestep she'd learned from Nick. "You've been holding out on us." A quick shift of position, and...

 _Click_. The hidden blade in her boot slid out. The sudden barrage of kicks kept Kayano dodging and at distance, where she couldn't use her knife effectively. "I'm gonna assume you didn't pick up these moves in gym class!" Okano panted.

"I'm an actor!" Kayano said, eyes focused on the blade. "I take training for a role very seriously!"

Okano kept up the pressure. Kayano stumbled back when one of Okano's kicks connected with her shoulder; the blade missed, but the impact still forced her back. "Now that I don't have to mask the pain of having tentacles..."

Kayano jumped back, drawing her pistol as she jumped off the cliff. "...I can actually focus!"

 _Aw crap!_ Okano thought. She was unbalanced after extending a kick. Nick had used that opening before, but she kept leaving herself open. As Kayano's pistol raised into alignment -

\- two bursts of red struck her back. Kayano landed with a roll, Kimura landing neatly just behind her. "I'm impressed," he said, grinning at the Blue Team girl. "But I sure wish we could have seen this side of you before now.

"You weren't the only one working hard in secret," Okano said, jumping down the mountain and helping Kayano to her feet. "We've all been training, honing our skills. However this business ends up," she said, "we'll face it together as a class. No masks, no more secret agendas. Sound good?"

Kayano just stared at her before gasping in shock. "Okay then!" Okano chirped. "We'll see you later!"

"Oh hey, remind me to get your autograph," Kimura told Kayano. With that parting shot, the two of them ran off into the woods...

...

 _Ding._ Kayano, dead.

Huh. I'm amazed someone got her. The tentacles keep some physical skills around, I think, so I wonder how?

No matter. I need to focus on trailing Isogai's group. I'd already spooked them by shooting a bullet right next to Isogai's head, and for now I was just keeping pace in the trees.

See, the thing is, I can't actually shoot them directly. Everyone here is skilled enough to sense even that small amount of killing intent - and every one of my shots has the intent to kill. It's due to my, ah... upbringing. However, _trees_ don't have the ability to sense killing intent, and if it's not aimed at them my classmates don't know how to sense it. They've never experienced Future Step.

Plus, the scariest thing about ghosts in warfare? You don't know where they are. They might not even exist - but as long as the threat is possible, energy needs to be spent worrying about it. The only difference between invisible and not there at all, you see, is a bullet to the head. If I could safely take a kill shot, I would, but... I'm not Nagisa. I'm not a natural assassin like him, and while I can _fight_ I can't guarantee I'll win if it comes down to first blood against three people.

I took aim and fired; this time, the red bullet splattered on the ground. "Where is it coming from!" Okuda cried, head swiveling.

The other nice thing about this is, they can't really tell where exactly the bullets are coming from. My skill in the trees is unparalleled, and that means I have three hundred and sixty degrees from which to fire.

Heheh... Let's spook them some more. I took aim at the tree Isogai was taking cover behind, just to the left of his head -

"Hey! No butt cutting, pervert!" Okano's shout rang out.

 _Ding._ Okano and Kimura, dead.

"The fuck?" I muttered. The slight distraction was enough to shift my aim a hair to the right, and as I squeezed the trigger Isogai ducked. "Shit!"

"The trees!" he shouted. Crap, I've been made. "Split up!"

The three of them scattered; Isogai and Okuda to the left, and Yada to the right. That wouldn't stop me from harassing them as they bolted for cover, trying to blind fire at wherever they thought I was. I drew my second pistol and started firing at the ground near them, keeping them dancing.

"Stupid idiot got ahead of himself," Karma muttered in my headset. Probably talking about Kimura. "Why can't people just do what I tell them to?"

I grinned. "Story of my life," I panted into my comms. "Now, try doing this with sixty untrained gamers. Straight to hell in a handbasket."

Then I ducked as a bullet splattered just over my head. Shit, they spotted me. Damn. "It's Nick!" Okuda exclaimed. How can she...? Her glasses? Dunno.

Running battle it is! I jumped forward, swinging down on the branch before throwing myself up and landing on the next branch. Bouncing from tree to tree and taking opportunistic shots when I could, I kept the three of them from being able to draw a bead.

"Nick," Hayami's cool voice echoed in my ear. I paused for a second, confirming I heard her before jumping away as a rifle bullet struck the tree branch I was standing on. "Hara's starting to set up a trap. Maehara was with her, but he's disengaged and is headed your way. Take her out for me."

"Yes'm," I said. Silently, I withdrew from the battle, taking care to send the three Blue Team members back into cover with a few well-aimed shots. The second their eyes were off of me, I disappeared into the forest. I didn't want a four-on-one battle; and even though I'd practiced parrying bullets with my knife, the same way Kazuto did with his sword, I was nowhere near his level of reaction time so it only worked one in every five shots when I could see the shooter.

Practice makes perfect, but I'm not so sure about continuing to try this one. I think I'll leave the bullshit kendo moves to the Black Swordsman.

Hara, unguarded, was wide open; she was just sitting in a tree.

 _Ding._ Hara, dead.

 _Ding._ Mimura, dead.

Oh well; we got ourselves a trade.

That left... how many on the Blue Team? At least five, but not too many more than that. The Red Team wasn't doing great either, though the two commanders were still going. "Nick," Karma said, "Hayami is keeping Isogai's squad pinned down. Go support Nakamura and the idiots on the left."

"Roger," I said, before briefly emerging from the trees to wave at Hara before jumping away.

Hayami was stationed on the right, on a massive tree. I didn't even need to see her to know she was hopping around on that tree like a monkey, able to balance even on the ends of the branches to take her shots. Her balance and kinetic vision are fantastic, and even if Chiba had better range and accuracy, this was definitely Hayami's battlefield.

I burst out from the trees and landed by the spectator stands. I spared a few seconds to glance up there and wave hello before I took a running jump down into the valley.

I'd be safe. Nagisa wouldn't emerge from hiding, the other four were pinned down courtesy of Hayami, and that was all that was left of the Blue Team. I'd taken the path that led me through the spectator stands for a reason; I needed to do a headcount. Unlike Karma, who was sitting in the back and directing us, I couldn't keep track of who was still alive just in my head while also fighting.

"Probably gonna push Hayami soon," I said into my comms, hitting the ground and rolling without losing any speed. "They won't try to break through Terasaka's group, because they'd still have to deal with Hayami after that." The flag was sitting in her range, so no matter what they had to deal with her. The best way, then, if I were in their shoes, would to rush Hayami and try to overwhelm her with numbers.

"Good call, Nick," Karma said. "Hayami, Itona? They'll be coming in droves any second now. Do whatever you can to slow 'em down. If you can take them out, take 'em out."

"Roger," the two chorused.

I landed safely in cover behind Face Rock, next to Nakamura. All four of them jumped before realizing it was just me. "Nakamura, Nick," Karma said. "When the fighting starts, I want you to step in and _finish it_."

"Gotcha," we replied. Explains why I was there; we weren't aiming for the total knockout. The five of us were going to push for the goal while it was completely undefended. I was the fastest one still alive, and Nakamura wasn't slow either.

"That means we're counting on you, meatball!" Nakamura said cheerfully.

"Excuse me?!" Terasaka shouted.

Nakamura grinned. "Shut up, everyone else will be occupied with Rinka. Nick and I are rushing in to grab their flag while you act as our shield. Once you three are dead, we'll have time to capture the flag. Good strategy, right? Of course it is, Nick came up with it."

Yoshida sighed. "So, we're being sacrificed then?"

I grinned at him. "Good luck, little red pawn. Your Knight and Queen accept the help."

"Which one am I?" Nakamura asked me.

"Queen, obviously. You're second in command, not me."

And of course I'd be the knight. The most unpredictable piece, with the strangest movement patterns.

"That is some serious ruthlessness," Yoshida said. ...Duh? She already said I came up with it.

"Duh," Nakamura snorted. See? I like her. "We have to do whatever it takes," she said somberly, peering out from behind the rocks. "I wanna win this. So we can kill Korosensei."

Behind us, Terasaka sighed. "I know what this is," he said to her. "You wanted us all to think you were stupid, so you did stupid stuff." Like sneaking into the bath to peep on Korosensei, and cheerfully swap clothes with Nagisa at the school festival. Yeah, I can see it. "But be honest, you joined the Pro Kill camp because you feel you have a sense of duty." He patted her head, shoving the hood down. "In reality, out of everyone here, you're the one who takes things the most seriously."

"...Heh," Nakamura huffed quietly. Can't fool me, girl, I see that tiny blush and the way you're tugging your hood.

Now, everything's in place. The only blank spot...

Where is Nagisa?

I'd been hopping all over Blue Team's side of the field, and I hadn't spotted him. He couldn't be in _our_ territory, Karma was there guarding it and he would have immediately rushed the kid if the way he lost his temper earlier was any indication.

All I had to do was wait for the signal...

...

Hayami stood in the crook of the tree, assault rifle at the ready. Beneath her, Itona stood guard at the base of the tree. She was waiting for the attack both Nick and Karma had assured her was coming.

She wasn't disappointed. "GO!" Isogai and his squad shouted. Hayami took in their charge at a glance; Okuda, Yada, and Maehara were following him.

Opening fire, the sound of gunfire filled the air. Most of her bullets missed, but Okuda was struck in the shoulder and sent tumbling to the ground. _Ding_. Okuda, dead.

"Surround them from the left!" Isogai shouted, pointing Yada and Maehara that way while he ran right.

Hayami gasped, looking to her right at Yada and Maehara, before narrowing her eyes and taking aim. _Isogai is in the lead. If I can take him down, we'll have this game in the bag!_ A squeeze of the trigger and Hayami planted the bullet exactly where she wanted it - the crown of his head. With a cry, Isogai tumbled to the ground.

 _Ding_. Isogai, dead.

Hayami straightened up to double-check her shot and make sure Isogai wasn't faking it and -

\- _splat_. A bullet decorated her shoulder blue. _Ding_. Hayami dead.

"Yada?" Hayami breathed. She knew the ponytailed girl didn't like conflict. Even so, for the sake of Korosensei, she...

"I got her!" Yada cheered, standing up -

\- only to immediately be gunned down by Itona. "And I'm out too," she sighed. _Ding_. Yada, dead.

Hayami watched from the tree as Itona barely parried Maehara's swift knife with the barrel of his gun. Grunting, he tried to back off to get distance while Maehara got his knife into position for a second swing -

\- only for her eyes to widen in surprise as Maehara slashed Itona across the chest with a second knife. Struck dead-on, Itona stumbled back against a tree and slid to the ground, clutching his shoulder in surprise.

"Pretty cool, huh?" Maehara said, panting for breath. "I had a feeling I was more of a knife guy, y'know? I mean, there's no way I'm worth a damn with a gun."

...

I winced as the casualty list finished. The fierce battle lasted only an instant, and the Blue Team was able to gain control of the area with a lone survivor.

"Son of a... did they get you?" Terasaka asked. The question was general, but probably for Itona since the silver-haired kid was one of his friends. He was in the lead with Yoshida and Muramatsu, while Nakamura and I hung back. We'd emerged from hiding when the gunfire started, but we wouldn't run until we got the orders from Karma.

Speak of the devil... "It doesn't matter," Karma said. "The flag's unguarded either way. It's time. Nakamura, Nick, get in there _now_."

"Yessir," we both said easily. We all started running through the valley, passing under Karasuma's cliff.

That's when I felt it.

All the strategies.

All the attack maneuvers, all the defense tactics.

They were all ridiculed.

Descending, the camouflaged Reaper...

...harvested four people in a mere second.

 _Ding_. Nakamura, Terasaka, Yoshida, and Muramatsu, dead.

All four of my allies hit the ground, the ink strikes on their body caused by just one knife. "From behind at point-blank range?" Nakamura gasped.

Nagisa...

I felt it.

That's the only reason I survived.

As we ran, the viper within me sensed bloodlust that was its kin. I didn't even have a chance to shout a warning, all I could do was jump backwards.

Even then, that was barely enough; my knife that I didn't remember drawing but was in my hand anyway blocked the strike from above, keeping it away from my body.

I stood there, staring at Nagisa's back. I couldn't even manage to draw my pistol. This was the first time...

...that I truly felt bloodlust that matched my own.

Aincrad and Alfheim mobs were mindless beasts.

In GGO, it was a simple game.

Laughing Coffin members were just out for blood, it didn't matter whose.

The closest thing I'd ever sensed like this was the fight against XaXa, and even then I wasn't his true target. Just someone in his way.

But for Nagisa, I was a target. I was his prey. The python was going to wrap around me and strangle me until I couldn't move.

He wanted to kill _me_. Facing him as he turned around to smile at me with peaceful eyes, I knew. I was going to die.

 _I WANT TO KILL HIM._

The viper within me was hissing so loudly I couldn't keep the excited smile off of my face.

"Karma," I said, keeping an eye on Nagisa while I spoke. "I know that I could run. Nagisa wouldn't be able to kill me in time before I got the flag. But..." I grinned at Nagisa, "I won't do that. You don't mind cleaning up after my mess, do you? If I die."

The comms stayed silent for a few seconds. I heard a gunshot echo, but I barely flinched. Nagisa's met mine steadily. _Ding_. Maehara dead.

"Go ahead," Karma finally said.

I nodded and lowered my hand from the comms. "I figured it out," I said. Nagisa blinked. "You didn't use the mountain camouflage. You used Karasuma as your cover." My smile widened. "Amazing. As the referee, he was a blind spot and you used it ruthlessly."

Truly amazing. Nagisa really was the best assassin in the class. I just... was too bound by rules. Funny, really. I had no problem breaking the law, but a game's rules were inviolate. Yet another hidden scar from Aincrad.

Food for thought, should I ever wake up in reality.

"You don't mind, do you?" I asked him. "If we have a one-on-one assassination right now? You versus me. Just the knives. Karma won't interfere, so it's fair."

Nagisa looked at me, and then nodded. "Sure," he said. I licked my lips as he set the rifle down by his side. Heh... I knew he'd accept. He might be in a better position right now – Karma had a pistol, but he was too far away to be useful, and while I did have twin pistols they were strapped to my leg while Nagisa's rifle was in his hands – but that didn't matter. I'd _learned_ to fight by being in a worse position than my opponents.

One against many. One life against infinite lives.

Being disadvantaged wouldn't stop me from beating Nagisa in a fight. But I wanted to _kill Nagisa._

And so I challenged him to an assassination duel, not a fight. Nagisa knew that, and he accepted.

Assassin versus assassin.

Viper versus python.

I couldn't _wait_.

"One strike," I said. "If you don't kill me, you'll die."

"I know," he said. Then he grinned. "You're better at fighting than me anyway, so this is my best shot to kill you."

We stood facing each other, knives in our hands. My eyes stared into his.

Both of us, peaceful. Unable to kill anyone. No bloodlust at all -

\- and the hissing viper lunged out of me -

\- and the coiled python struck from him -

\- and Nagisa and I _exploded_ into action, our killing intent flaring as we simultaneously unsheathed our bloodlust, dashing forward with our knives swinging to kill the other.

One clash. That's all it took. Barely an instant and then it was over.

My lips curled in a smirk as -

\- the viper collapsed, its head cut off -

\- I touched the line of blue paint around my neck. A shuddering breath leaked out of me, and I finally smiled, glancing over my shoulder at Nagisa as I chuckled. "Your win," I said.

 _Ding._ Nick, dead.

* * *

 **Whew, that was an interesting one. And Nick has finally been defeated in his own game – the game of murder.**

 **The first bit wasn't too hard. Nick was finally forced to confront one of his biggest problems; the fact that he doesn't choose. He just lets things happen. See, when I was originally writing the scene, I had Nick choosing the No Kill team, until I paused and realized that he'd been hired to kill Korosensei in a sense. That, plus my usual method of 'when I have two choices and I can't decide, flip a coin' problem solving, added up to quite the dilemma. There's no way Korosensei would let him half-ass something like that.**

 **(otherwise i would have totally just flipped a coin and used that outcome for nick's allegiance)**

 **Instead, Korosensei finally taught him a lesson. Nick has no strong desires one way or another. His horse is in a different race entirely, and usually is; that's why he's so laid-back when it comes to group plans. He just doesn't care, so long as his family is happy. The problem with being as flexible as he is, then, is that he has no way of making decisions based on what** _ **he**_ **wants. We've already seen he has problems figuring what he wants out of life, this is just the same problem on a smaller scale.**

 **And then we come to the actual battle. See, Nick isn't really a commander, I've never tried to make him one. Instead, he's just good at plans – which is what happens here. Coupled with Karma's own talents, they make for a** _ **very**_ **nasty opponent. I still had him do some solo stuff, because… I mean, he's a solo player, remember? The final fight was over in an instant, but it had to be. If it wasn't, Nick would definitely have won the fight – he's got more skill and experience in one-on-one fights, even against someone as skilled in assassination as Nagisa. But he wanted to assassinate Nagisa.**

 **The viper wouldn't accept anything less – and Nick** _ **is**_ **the viper as much as he isn't.**

 **In the end, game over. (pay attention to where Nagisa attacked. For** _ **everyone else**_ **he went for disabling strikes; arm, body, locks and disables. Nick is the only one where he went lethal immediately – because he knew Nick would be going lethal and he couldn't hesitate an instant.)**

 **Many thanks for everyone that favorited, followed, or reviewed.**


	16. Outcome Time

_"One strike," I said. "If you don't kill me, you'll die."_

 _"I know," Nagisa said. Then he grinned. "You're better at fighting than me anyway, so this is my best shot to kill you."_

 _We stood facing each other, knives in our hands. My eyes stared into his._

 _Both of us, peaceful. Unable to kill anyone. No bloodlust at all -_

 _\- and the hissing viper lunged out of me -_

 _\- and the coiled python struck from him -_

 _\- and Nagisa and I_ exploded _into action, our killing intent flaring as we simultaneously unsheathed our bloodlust, dashing forward with our knives swinging to kill the other._

 _One clash. That's all it took. Barely an instant and then it was over._

 _My lips curled in a smirk as -_

 _\- the viper collapsed, its head cut off -_

 _\- I touched the line of blue paint around my neck. A shuddering breath leaked out of me, and I finally smiled, glancing over my shoulder at Nagisa as I chuckled. "Your win," I said._

Ding. _Nick, dead._

* * *

 **Chapter 16: Outcome Time**

 **(64 Days)**

Since everyone was dead, I cracked my neck. "Sorry, Karma," I said, still grinning with good humor. "Guess I just couldn't measure up. Anyway, the stage is yours, so have some fun."

 _Kill him for me_ , was unsaid. Still, I'm certain Karma heard it.

I glanced up at the observer's platform Karasuma was standing on, but to get up there I'd need to climb a bit more than I really wanted to, so I sighed and broke into a quick jog, running over to the other side where everyone else was watching.

Pulling myself up the ladder, I reached the top and rolled onto my back, sprawling out on the platform. "Bluh," I grunted, closing my eyes.

I felt someone step near me and I cracked one eye open to see Nakamura standing there, offering her hand. I grinned lightly and accepted the offer, gripping her arm and letting her help me to my feet. "That was unexpected, huh?" I asked her.

She grinned. "Talk about surprising."

I did a quick headcount of the students around us, and blinked a few times. My count was missing three, but only Nagisa and Karma were alive. So then... Ah, there's Maehara, standing next to Karasuma. Guess he was closer to that side. The rest of us were standing on the wooden viewing platform, watching. Kayano and Sugino kneeled by the edge. "So it comes down to Nagisa and Karma, huh?" Sugino sighed.

"Ballsy tactic," Professor Bitch said, standing next to Korosensei. "Nagisa actually used Karasuma as his own personal blind."

"A referee goes largely unnoticed on the playing field," Korosensei said. "Nagisa honed in on that fact, and made himself invisible. _Brilliant_. He waited for the perfect moment to reveal himself. His instincts are that of a natural-born killer.

"He wasn't the only one displaying impressive talents in that skirmish, though," Korosensei continued. I felt a tentacle plop on my head, and I leaned my head back to try to look at it, as though that would actually work. "Nick sensed the bloodlust and reacted perfectly, managing to block the killing blow and drag Nagisa into combat. Had you not wished to face Nagisa on his own terms, my boy, you would likely have won."

I just grinned. "Yeah, but I wanted to kill him, not just beat him."

That was the difference. Had I charged in and engaged in close-quarters combat, I would have easily won. I'm stronger, faster, and more experienced than Nagisa in it; the kid wouldn't have stood a chance. Plus, his backup weapon was a rifle with a sniper scope attached, while I had a pistol. Once his surprise attack was wasted, I had every advantage.

But I wanted to kill him. I wanted to unsheathe my viper's fangs and show them off proudly. Unfortunately, I wasn't the best assassin in the class.

My fingers touched the dry blue line around my throat, and I grinned. But it had been my _choice_ to fight Nagisa on the field of assassination. Even though I'd lost, I'd _chosen_ that path.

Movement in the valley caught my eye, and I saw Karma walking down the center, unhurried. My eyes flicked around, but I didn't see Nagisa anywhere. The kid must have bolted after killing me, and found another hiding spot. Still, Karma's manner didn't seem to be worried.

"It's not wise to underestimate Karma, though," Korosensei continued speaking, removing the tentacle from my head. "Comparing Karma and Nagisa on the basis of academic performance, he _soundly_ beats Nagisa on every area of study. That said, the fact must have dawned on him. When it comes to matters of assassination," Korosensei said, his omni-present grin somehow a little foreboding, "Nagisa is without question Karma's greatest adversary."

The smile widened.

Karma reached the middle of the valley, where it was widest, and stopped, head swiveling around. After a second, he shouted, "Nagisa!" as he spread his arms wide. "Put down the gun and come on out! We'll settle this with blades!"

I shook my head with an amused huff. Stealing my trick? Dirty play, Karma. Then again, it's him, so what did I expect?

"No way, don't be an idiot!" Sugino shouted. "Take him out while you've got the shot!"

"I... don't think he's gonna fire," Kayano said slowly. Sugino looked at her in shock.

As I stepped over to them, I glanced at Karma. He was just standing there, arms spread wide without a care in the world. My lips twitched, before I turned to Sugino and Kayano and said, "Kayano's right. Nagisa won't fire, because he can't. Karma's playing dirty," I added with a chuckle.

"Dirty how?" Sugino asked me.

I pointed down at the red-head. "See how he's full of openings? Any one of us could take him out, even from here. The problem is, he offered Nagisa a challenge. A one-on-one duel. If Nagisa turns it down and just blows him away here and now, most people on the Red Team will feel like they've been robbed. They won't accept that kind of loss."

"Most?" Kayano asked with a small smile.

I just shrugged. "I don't care, so by definition it's automatically most. And..." I grinned wider and pointed down at the brush to the side. "There it is. Nagisa's acceptance of the terms."

Nagisa had set down his gun wherever he'd been hiding, and had emerged from cover. "Seriously?" Nakamura whispered, while the rest of the class gasped and started muttering.

"No way, they're going mano-a-mano?" Sugino asked.

"It makes sense," Kayano said. "Nagisa respects Karma in a big way, and he needs him to understand where he's coming from."

I nodded. "If this is going to end in a way people can accept, then it has to be on Karma's terms, and on Karma's playing field. He's turned my trick on its head to force Nagisa into combat."

"Let's move in for a better view!" Okajima said.

Shrugging, I followed the rest of the crowd as we all hopped off the viewing platform. "I just got up here..." I whined under my breath. Some students like Okajima took the express elevator to ground floor by jumping, while others like Kanzaki took the safe ladder.

"...So who do you think is going to win?" Isogai asked, pointing at the two boys staring at each other.

"Karma, definitely," Maehara said. "...Except, Nagisa's so unpredictable, he might be able to come out on top."

"I... I want Karma to win!" Okuda suddenly shouted. I glanced at her in surprise - she was on the Blue Team, so why... She had her fists clenched as she stared resolutely at us.

"Uh, Okuda?" Maehara asked. "Weren't you on the Save Team with me and Isogai?"

She nodded, and said, "I know... It's just that, I don't want him to lose. I know how much hard work and resolve he's put in over all this time."

Shaking my head, I grinned and turned. I still remember what Karma said back in Kyoto, when Isogai asked him which girl in the class was his favorite. Looks like she really admires him just as much, huh? And they were paired together in the Spooky Cave back on that island, so...

Hm. Maybe Korosensei's not entirely an idiot when it comes to E Class romance.

As I kept moving, I joined up with Yada and Hayami, along with Terasaka's squad. "Not gonna lie," Fuwa said, staring at her hand, "I'm still for not killing Korosensei. But, seeing Karma just put himself out there like that... When I tagged Rinka, I felt the same way. Supposing we had to kill him... What would _that_ feel like?"

A couple of us were watching her out of the corner of our eyes, and I saw Hazama smirk. "And now we watch the flip-floppers crawl out of the woodwork," she said. "Must be _some_ correlation between strong opinions and working camouflage, huh." I glanced at my gym clothes to see that it was fading back to the neutral grey. The camouflage spray was wearing off.

"A class like this pulls unexpected things outta everybody," Terasaka said. "You, Kayano, Mimura, and Kanzaki for example... Some go berserk, some who'll... definitely do better next time..." I snickered as Fuwa and Takebayashi gave the big guy dirty glares of resentment. "Some we assume are slackers turn out to have a plan. Some who pass themselves off as jokers turn out to be dead serious."

Nakamura, spinning the red armband on her finger, sighed. "Shut up..." she muttered.

"And weirdest of all, not only does the runt of the litter turn out to be a genius assassin," Terasaka said as we all reached the cliff edge. I saw Nagisa stretching, loosening his shoulders and arms while Karma shrugged off the protective vest. "The guy we all thought this came easiest too has to work his ass off. So whoever wins this has my respect," he said. "With the crazy skillsets we have as a group, something tells me we can handle any challenge that comes our way."

I smirked. I could make a comment about the stunning insight of idiots, but I held my tongue. I was too enraptured by the swirling aura of danger coming from both Nagisa and Karma as they slowly approached each other.

Nagisa had two knives strapped to his legs; Karma only had one.

They stopped facing each other, heads down.

Y'know, it's weird. I asked both of them, earlier, why they were such close friends...

...

Walking home, it was just me and Nagisa as we went down the hill. "Hey, Nagisa, question," I said lightly. He looked at me. "Why do you respect Karma so much? I mean, I get opposites attract, but he doesn't seem like the kind of guy you'd hang around with. Not judging or saying it's bad," I added, raising my hands quickly. "Just curious, is all."

He grinned, clearly not taking offense. "Ever since we met as first-years," he said, "to put it simply, I've looked up to him.

"The first time I really realized he was impressive was when we were working on our math workbooks in class. I was just staring at my paper when I heard him say, 'Excuse me, sir, what's this?'

"I looked up, and he was standing with my old teacher. 'Woah, Akabane,' he said, 'that's second-year stuff you're looking at.' Karma did whatever he pleased, without fear. And he was absolutely brilliant.

"It took maybe thirty seconds of the teacher explaining the problem before Karma said, 'Okay, that's all I needed. I can handle the rest on my own, thanks.' He just picked up the workbook and walked away while the teacher was still talking. 'By the way, teach,' he added when he reached the door, 'I'm just gonna leave now.

"The whole time, I just watched him and thought, if only I could be like that," Nagisa told me. "From where I stood, Karma seemed to have it all figured out.

"One day, I was reading a magazine about the first Sonic Ninja movie in the school library. It'd just come out, and I really wanted to see it. 'Really?' I heard Karma say from right behind me. When I glanced over my shoulder, he was staring at the magazine with a grin. 'Nazzoni directed Sonic Ninja, and it's out now? That's awesome! Didn't even know! We should go see it. Are you cool to come with me, Shiota?' I couldn't really reply, so I just smiled and nodded.

Nagisa smiled. "I was so happy when he came and talked to me. All of a sudden, when we were hanging out, I felt six feet tall."

I grinned. "What, did he get you a box to stand on?" Nagisa stared at me. "Sorry, sorry, continue your story."

Nagisa laughed a little bit. "We started hanging out a lot halfway through our first year. Life was good. But... it wasn't long before I learned, all good things come to an end.

"We were walking down a street on our way home from school, when two thugs stepped out in front of us. One guy was really beaten up, with a bandage over his left eye, and the other one had the sides of his head shaved.

"'Well well,' the second guy said, 'what do we have here? You beat my good buddy to a pulp, and you're still walkin'?'

"'Huh?' Karma said lightly. 'Yeah, I suppose I am! For the record, your buddy started it. He had it comin',' Karma said.

"'Yeah?' the thug snorted before gesturing at his friend with his thumb. 'You're full 'a crap. See, accordin' ta him-'

"That was when Karma threw his bag in the air. Both of the guys looked up in shock, and that's when Karma punched the speaker in the face, knocking him to the ground. He spared a second to elbow the other guy down, before running over and jumping onto the first person. Karma's bag landed perfectly in my hands. He hadn't even looked when he threw it.

"'Come again, please?' Karma crowed, sitting on top of the groaning thug. 'Having a little trouble understanding ya!' he laughed as he mercilessly beat the man.

"He could do whatever he pleased in studies and in fighting because he had the strength to back himself up. Not a place I was ever going to be. He must have gotten bored sharing the stage with a nobody, since he started to invite me to hang out less and less. By the time they suspended him," Nagisa said, "we'd gone back to being just classmates."

I blinked and nodded. "Huh. Cool. Thanks, I guess."

...

Over the summer, I dropped by Karma's house every now and then to chat and play video games, and occasionally study; one day while I was idly tossing an Anti-Korosensei knife in the air and catching it, I asked, "Yo Karma, I've been wondering something."

"Oh yeah?" the red-head asked, glancing up from his game.

I caught the knife and studied the side of the blade. "Nagisa. How come you two are friends? Doesn't seem like the type of person you'd want to hang out with. I mean, before E Class happened and he turned out to be a badass."

Karma barked out a short laugh. It sounded like he was laughing at himself, and I glanced over to see him leaning back in his chair, staring at the ceiling. "He'd always been a harmless little mouse," Karma said. "A guy with my rep has to be on high alert around most folks. Not with him, though.

"Looking back on it now, I'm the one who put the distance between us. Even then, there was something about him that made me nervous. I could put my guard down around him.

"One time, we stopped by a fast food restaurant on our way home. He grabbed us a table while I got the food, and I lost track of him while standing in line. I didn't realize until I was holding the tray of food in my hands, and looked for him. 'Hh, now where'd he run off to?' I muttered to myself. 'Hey, Nagisa!' I called out.

"That was when a finger pressed itself in the small of my back. It was like a blade was shoved straight through my heart and I whirled, ready to fight. Only, thing is, Nagisa was just sitting there, smiling up at me. 'I've been right here the whole time,' he said. 'You didn't see me?'

"I didn't want to tell him he'd startled me, so I just sat down and said, 'You're so tiny my eyes went right over you.' He huffed in irritation.

"For some reason he had me on edge. It was like if he wanted he could have killed me in my sleep. Always so sweet-natured and honest... So the anxiety had to be my imagination. On the surface, we couldn't have been more different. Still... Beneath that innocent facade lurked something else. Something downright sinister.

Karma clenched a fist. "I wanted to drag it out of him, crush it. Not that there'd have been any point fighting him, or beating him in class. Whatever he had, it was beyond all that."

"And now you know what it is," I said thoughtfully, staring at the blade. I could imagine Nagisa's eyes in my mind, filled with nothing but bloodlust. "But you didn't then."

"I couldn't deal," Karma admitted to me. "Before long, we drifted apart."

...

"For the first time," I murmured, "they're standing together as equals. A pair of third-years in this class on assassination, staring each other down."

The only way they'll be able to understand one another is to win.

As one, they looked up at each other.

I shivered when I saw their eyes.

They had identical looks in their eyes as they stared at each other, brandishing a knife. Their eyes held nothing but pure bloodlust, and even from the distance away I could feel the killing intent pouring off of them. "You are _so_ going down!" they said simultaneously.

* * *

Both of their eyes were hard. I simply folded my arms and watched - there wasn't anything I could do to intervene, but should things get out of hand... Well, Karasuma would stop it before that happened, but I wasn't going to let those two get locked into another fist fight like earlier. I didn't stop that one, but this time I could move.

"Nagisa..." Kayano whispered.

"A desire to win!" Korosensei announced. "To conquer! The all-consuming competitive streak of youth! You must forget about me in this moment. Clear your minds! It's about what's in front of you!"

The two boys looked at each other silently, waiting for the moment to make their move.

Naturally, Karma attacked first. He shifted his weight, ducking his head, before dashing forward at speeds I could barely follow. Instantly, Nagisa reacted, lunging forward as well.

Their blades clashed in the center, their wrists colliding.

"We kill!" Karma shouted.

"We save!" Nagisa shouted back.

Karma pressed forward, using his greater strength to overpower Nagisa. Nagisa's eyes widened as Karma kicked his front leg to the side, forcing Nagisa to switch legs - and then swept his leg again, making Nagisa jump back or hit the ground.

Problem with being in the air, though, is that you can't change direction. As soon as Nagisa landed Karma was waiting for him, and grabbed the boy's knife arm in a lock. He pivoted and yanked, trying to throw Nagisa.

Nagisa gritted his teeth and jumped, flipping over Karma and landing with both feet on the ground. Karma had just enough time to grunt before Nagisa surged forward, slamming his shoulder into Karma's chest and rocking the bigger boy backwards.

Karma slid, gripping Nagisa's arm to keep himself upright. The second he came to a halt his leg flashed upwards as he slammed a sidekick into Nagisa's ribs, knocking the assassin head over heels onto the ground. Nagisa rolled to recover, bringing his knife up to keep Karma at a distance while he recovered.

The two of them paused again, knives at the ready. Neither one wanted to make a move right away.

"Surprised an attack that well timed didn't bring him down," Sugaya said.

"There's a pretty big difference in strength between the two of them," Chiba said.

I frowned at the battle. This was something I was all too familiar with; the opponent might be bigger and stronger, with more health, but just one slice of the blade will end the fight. My experience in Aincrad had taught me well, it seemed.

"Indeed," Korosensei said. "If one knife connects it's a win. Karma won't hesitate to use the brief window of time to his advantage. Ah, but observe Nagisa closely. He's carrying a second blade."

I glanced at Nagisa's leg, and took in the second knife strapped there. Yeah, he has one, but... he still has to draw it. And that'll open him up.

In situations like this, I don't know how I'd fare. A lot of my fighting style relied on pragmatism - taking a blow to deal a more devastating attack, or fighting dirty without hesitation. I'd already tried to kill Nagisa and failed, but what about Karma? In the end, our fighting styles were very similar. I was pretty sure that I had more experience and skill in hand-to-hand, but it'd be close.

Even if I wasn't fighting, watching a fight was still useful.

"You think he'll try the clap stunner?" Kayano asked.

"I doubt it," I said idly. "Karma's not stupid. He'll know it's there, and he'll be expecting it."

Korosensei nodded. "Entirely correct, Nick. Two assassins, methods worlds apart. How will this contest be settled?"

Karma smirked, his expression filled with battle lust. He leaned forward and dashed again, closing the distance between him and Nagisa almost immediately. He swung with his knife, and Nagisa just barely managed to sway out of the way. Another strike was dodged again.

Nagisa used the opening to launch an offensive of his own. An upwards slash was dodged when Karma jerked his shoulder out of the way. The red-head retaliated with a stab; Nagisa dodged, before stabbing again. Karma tilted his head out of the way and locked his arm around Nagisa's, grabbing his hand and slamming the assassin to the ground with a well-applied arm lock.

Nagisa cried out from the impact but rolled, putting his feet up to Karma's chest and throwing the brawler over him before scrambling to his feet. He jumped with a downwards stab that Karma barely managed to block by crossing his wrists. He rolled, throwing Nagisa off of him.

Nagisa rushed again, closing -

\- and Karma kicked dirt and leaves up in the air, briefly blinding Nagisa. With the instant that afforded him, Karma pivoted on his planted leg and slammed a nasty hook kick to the side of Nagisa's head. Nagisa went down _hard_.

The blue-haired kid looked over his shoulder just in time to see Karma jumping and plunging a downwards stab with a devilish look on his face. Nagisa slid back and Karma missed, plunging his knife into the ground.

Mistake. I knew it the second I saw.

Nagisa didn't let the opening go. He kicked out and knocked Karma's knife out of his hands, sending it skittering into the leaves a little bit away. Karma gritted his teeth.

Nagisa jerked to his feet and lunged for the kill, but Karma didn't try to go for the knife. Instead, he threw his head forward, slamming the hard part of his forehead into Nagisa's nose and chin. Ouch.

The impact stunned Nagisa, and he dropped his own knife. Now they're both disarmed.

"Both their knives are out of reach!" Isogai exclaimed.

Kayano protested, "Wait, look. Not the one on his leg!"

Nagisa was holding one hand to his face - headbutts are particularly brutal, if the opponent hits your vulnerable spot commonly referred to as the 'T of Pain'. The line right above your eyes, and down your nose, ending right above your lips. I couldn't blame him for wincing, or for dropping the knife. His other hand, though, was right at his leg, ready to draw the knife.

As soon as he lowered his hand to unsheathe the weapon Karma dashed in, shouting. With one hand low and the other hand high, Nagisa had no way to block the shoulder tackle and cried out as Karma knocked him back.

Karma just laughed as Nagisa stumbled. "Don't even bother," he said. "The second you go for that blade the fight belongs to me!" He grabbed Nagisa by the neck. "Knock you on your ass and take my sweet time for the final blow!" he shouted, punctuating every two or three words with savage knees to Nagisa's stomach. The assassin spat out saliva as he coughed.

Karma grinned as he lifted Nagisa, peering down at him. Nagisa glanced up and gritted his teeth before swinging a punch that collided squarely with Karma's nose -

\- and the brawler just smiled at him, eyes wide with mocking amusement. "Oh, that's all you got?" he taunted Nagisa. Then, he casually backhanded Nagisa, sending the kid flying.

Yikes.

Nagisa didn't just take it, though, and he kicked Karma in the face as he fell. Blood trickled from Karma's lip where Nagisa's boot had split it, but the red-head just smirked. "Holy crap," Hara said. "He's taking Nagisa's attacks on purpose."

Sugaya clenched a fist. "His hits have gotta be having _some_ kind of effect, right? He's been upping his game for a whole year now."

I glanced over at the artist. "Probably," I said, "but it's psychological warfare. By not showing pain, he's rattling Nagisa."

"Karma is first and foremost a combat assassin," Korosensei told us. "He relishes process, the bargaining, the strategy. Only when he's gone through the moves will he deal the decisive blow."

Nagisa rushed Karma, trying to punch the boy, but Karma just spun out of the way before using the extra momentum to whip a backhand. Nagisa ducked and turned to face Karma, just as the brawler jabbed. Nagisa blocked and punched Karma, but Karma barely flinched. "Nagisa, on the other hand," Korosensei said as Nagisa's next punched whiffed, Karma swaying out of the way before grabbing Nagisa's over-extended arm, "is a pure assassin." Using the leverage, Karma threw Nagisa to the ground. Nagisa hit and rolled, coming to a crouch. "Single-mindedly searching for the one strike that will secure victory."

Karma ran at Nagisa, kicking at his head with a roundhouse. Nagisa blocked it and retaliated with an uppercut that collided glancingly. "Karma has trained himself to take a beating," Korosensei said. "Hit after hit, he'll stand his ground and give as good as he gets." Karma just grinned and lunged back in, despite being battered and bruised. "Should he hold out indefinitely, Nagisa will have no honorable choice but to accept defeat."

And Nagisa was getting tired. He clearly wasn't used to long, drag-out fights like this. And why should he be? He was an assassin, not a fighter. Unlike me and Karma, he hadn't trained for this. And it showed; his guard was getting sloppy.

Karma didn't miss it, and a nasty uppercut streaked through the hole in Nagisa's guard to collide, sending the assassin staggering back, clutching at his head. Karma ran up and raised his leg high -

\- before slamming it down in a savage axe kick that had his heel colliding with Nagisa's neck. Nagisa went sprawling, face down.

Karma looked down at him, but Nagisa didn't move.

"That was an axe kick!" Terasaka said. "Bring one of those to the table and the other guy doesn't have a chance in hell!"

Silently, Karma walked over. The red knife was lying only a little bit away from Nagisa, and he bent down to pick it up.

I'm not sure what Karma was thinking when he looked at us, but he was smiling, and I knew it was from more than battle endorphins. He was happy, right then, as he prepared to deal the finishing blow.

He walked back over to Nagisa and crouched slightly, getting low. With gritted teeth, he raised the knife high to plunge it into Nagisa's back -

\- and Nagisa whipped around, giving up the pretense of playing dead, and slammed his hands together in Karma's face.

I twitched, preparing to unsheathe my bloodlust, but relaxed after a second. Reflexes, huh.

Karma slid back, dropping the knife. Stunned. That'll give Nagisa time to draw his second knife and -

\- Karma raised his head, grinning madly. Blood dripped from his tongue. "He bit his tongue," I said in almost awe. "To restart his nervous system from the pain, or to disrupt his psyche just before the clap stunner, whichever."

Nagisa's desperation move had been foiled. Karma had countered Nagisa's best attack. All that was left was for Nagisa to unleash his attack with the last of his strength, and then Karma would win.

And we'd kill Korosensei.

Glaring at Karma, Nagisa drew the knife. He got to his feet and lunged. I felt the bloodlust surge around Nagisa, like a python slithering towards its target. The viper inside me hissed in pleasure. All the bloodlust was in Nagisa's blade as he thrust towards Karma. Karma grinned, bringing his hands up to deflect it.

Nagisa let go of the knife.

The bloodlust disappeared.

"What?" I breathed. I felt disoriented.

What is he doing?

Nagisa slammed into Karma's chest, wrapping his arms around Karma's neck. With a shout, he swept the red-head's legs out from under him, slamming the brawler down onto the ground.

"A triangle choke!" Terasaka shouted.

My eyes widened. A triangle choke functioned by cutting off the carotid artery, preventing blood and oxygen from flowing to the brain. In minutes at best, depending on how much oxygen Karma had when he was choked, he'd be unconscious. And with Karma on his back, Nagisa's arms locked together underneath him, the chokehold was even firmer than before.

Holy shit, guy.

Karma gritted his teeth and tugged at Nagisa's arm, but there was no way he could loosen the hold. And with his other arm pinned in the air, he could only scrabble helplessly at Nagisa's back. "Rrgh... You are going to hear me out!" Nagisa shouted.

"Lookit!" Yoshida exclaimed. "How the hell is he pinning him down like that in the first place?"

It made no sense. Nagisa poured all his bloodlust into his blade, and then just... threw it. Gave it up. He stopped searching for that one perfect strike that would guarantee him victory...

I breathed out. He's doing what Karma wanted to do. He's beating the fighter at his own game - Karma had been trying to destroy Nagisa and by doing so assassinate his natural talent with his hard work, but Nagisa turned the tables. He's grappled Karma, using Karma's own strengths to defeat him.

"The element of surprise," Korosensei said, confirming my unspoken suspicions. "Nagisa sacrificed his greatest skill to create a red herring, opting to finish with a martial arts move. All to make a point. Karma's own specialty has, in the end, been turned against him."

Karma was flailing on the ground, trying to kick Nagisa off of him, but the boy was secure and stable. Karma just had no leverage, and with Nagisa's weight on his chest couldn't manage to _get_ any.

By playing on Karma's field, there would be no way for us to complain when Karma loses. It was exactly the same thing Karma did to Nagisa at the start of the match.

Karma gave up trying to break the hold and started slamming punches into Nagisa's ribs, but without the ability to move the punches were weak. I'd be surprised if Nagisa felt them through the coat of his gym uniform.

He gave up, hand scrabbling for anything that could save him - and my eyes widened. The red knife had, by sheer chance, fallen within arm's reach. Karma lifted it in the air, staring at it in awe.

"He's got a knife!" Kimura shouted.

"Oh no..." Kayano whispered.

Karma brought it close, preparing to stab Nagisa in the back and win the clash.

I knew he wouldn't, though. It was the same position as before, only reversed. Karma would be saved by sheer luck, not by any planning or strategy. It wouldn't be a real victory, and the Blue Team would be hard-pressed to accept it. Hells, even some of the Red Team wouldn't be satisfied with such an ending to the fight.

Hm... What would I do, in this situation? Stab? Forfeit? I don't know. My gut instincts tell me I would take the win offered to me, but... that would only be applicable one-on-one, in a fight for survival. This was bigger than that. I would need to weigh my victory against the loss of class cohesion.

And in the end... That was much more important.

I wouldn't be able to do it.

...

"Y'know, I got into a fight once," Karma told me.

I caught the Anti-Korosensei blade and glanced at him. "Just the one?"

"This was the only one where Nagisa was with me," he clarified. "After I finished up beating the two idiots, you know what Nagisa said to me? 'No, I can't fight,' he told me. 'I'm probably way too big of a chicken to even try.' Then he smiled, like he was about to say something funny. 'Uh, unless it was absolutely a matter of life and death.'"

...

I shook my head. Here Nagisa was, doing his best to fight Karma. There was no way Karma could kill him from behind.

Karma let the knife fall.

Patting Nagisa on the back, he grunted, "I give up. Uncle. Uncle. You win, Nagisa. Good job."

Nagisa just tightened the choke hold, and my eyes widened. I was moving forward without even realizing it. He was operating entirely on fumes, and he probably couldn't imagine having won.

"Are you listening to me?!" Karma gasped out.

Just before I reached the pair to separate them, Karasuma barked, "That's enough! Red Team has surrendered!" Nagisa's face suddenly went slack as he loosened his grip. "Game over! Blue Team is the winner!"

"Yeah!" the class celebrated. Blue Team was joyful and cheering happily, while us losers from Red Team just shook our heads and smiled. We knew we put up a good fight.

Nagisa crawled off of Karma, collapsing in a puddle of exhausted middle school student next to his friend. "I actually... won?" he breathed. "I beat Karma?"

"'Fore you start doing a little dance, let's make one thing perfectly clear," Karma said, sitting up. He rubbed the side of his neck. "You left your back wide open to attack. I just couldn't bring myself to stab you. Talk about being stuck between a rock and a hard place... No one would have been satisfied with me winning that way." Nagisa pushed himself to his hands and knees and looked at Karma. "Can't believe you got the drop on me with martial arts. Seriously dude, who'd have ever thought I would've been beaten at my own game like that?"

He fell back, landing on his back with a sigh. "You killed me. Right, you wanna save Korosensei? Talk, I'm listening."

Nagisa pushed himself to a seated position. "Are you really?" he asked. "No joke?"

"Quit staring at me like that," Karma said. "You look like mousetrap cheese." Nagisa frowned in irritation. Heh, he's not wrong. "I've seen fewer bruises on a week-old peach."

"Wow," Nagisa huffed. "Even in defeat you can't bear to waste a single insult, huh? Good old Karma..."

Karma planted his arms behind his head and pushed himself to his feet, landing neatly upright even though he did stagger a bit. "Please," he said. "Look, why don't we drop all the back and forth? I'm not really feeling it after that fight."

Nagisa glanced to the side. My gods, you two, how are you two even real? "So, what? We talk to each other like human beings?" No, clearly you talk to each other like one-eyed one-horned flying purple people eaters - YES like human beings! Ugh, I just want to bonk both these idiots over the head. "Feels kinda weird after all this time."

Then again, I really don't have room to comment on people snarking at each other. It's how I talk to Rika and Shino, after all.

Karma extended his hand to Nagisa. "Fine, then I'll start us off," he said. "Give me your hand... old friend."

Nagisa smiled up at Karma. "Thanks, Karma." He reached out and placed his hand in Karma's. "Old friend."

The rest of the class smiled at the display of bonding between the two.

"Now kiss!" I catcalled. When both Karma and Nagisa glared at me, I just grinned innocently. Tender moments? What're those? Can you eat them?

Either way, my inappropriately-timed comment broke the remaining tension of the fight, and everyone split up to start chatting amongst themselves. I kept an eye on Karma and Nagisa, standing near them; they were both heavily injured, and it would be possible for either or both to collapse if they pushed themselves too hard.

Nagisa turned to Karma, rubbing the back of his head. "It felt like you were pulling your punches a little bit," he said.

Karma grinned mischievously and wrapped Nagisa in a headlock. "Only 'cause I didn't want to paralyze you!" Karma said while Nagisa protested and flailed.

"Nagisa," I said, approaching the boy. He looked up at me, still in Karma's headlock. "Good fight out there."

He grinned. "Yeah... It was really close. It was weird, though," he added. "When we fought, it didn't feel like it usually did. Your bloodlust, I mean."

I tilted my head curiously. "What do you mean? I fully intended to kill you."

Nagisa just blinked. "I'm not sure how to describe it, I guess. Just different."

"Thanks for the clear explanation," I sighed.

...

After everyone had finished chatting, Karasuma lined us up in an easy parade block and stood in front of us. "I'm sure you all have your own thoughts on the matter," he said. "I for one, have no objection to the course this class has chosen. That said," he added, raising a single finger, "I can only allow you to try to save him on one condition. You have until the end of the month to figure out a way. _You_ might be taking a break from assassination, but others involved aren't. Their efforts are in full swing. If it turns out he needs to be killed, I believe you should be the ones who do it.

"Make me a promise," Karasuma said. "However January plays out, February onward you'll focus on your original objective. Whether you save or kill, give it all you've got."

I just grinned. No objections here.

"Yes sir!" we barked.

* * *

The next day, I grinned. "Hey, Karma," I said. "Impressive, you heal quickly." The bruises that had shown after the battle had mostly faded, leaving only a few scrapes and bruises on his cheek. Nagisa too had healed from the worst of the injuries. "Now you only look half-beaten instead of fully."

"Funny, what's your excuse then?" Karma growled at me. I just grinned lightly. He might have stopped with the back and forth with Nagisa, but that didn't extend to me. In any event, that sort of banter _was_ how I showed my friendship with the class. " _You_ just got killed immediately."

I shrugged and pointed at Nagisa. "That kid's terrifying," I said simply.

"Hey..." Nagisa protested.

"It's true, though," I said archly. Seriously, that bloodlust of his is crazy.

Eventually the class filled up, and I got out of my seat with a sigh to stand up at the front of the board. Unfortunately, the class had decided that I should figure out what we're going to do. Jerks. "Alright, people, listen up," I drawled. "Since Nagisa's team won the class skirmish, we'll be attempting to save Korosensei. Which, y'know, kinda a 180 from our original goal, but whatever.

"Now, all of us here have been focusing on saving the world vis-a-vis killing Korosensei, but there's no way the government would just put all their eggs in one basket. Only exploring one approach, one set of ideas is just asking for problems when it turns out that Korosensei's actually kinda bullshit and really hard to kill."

Beside me, the octopus laughed.

I snorted. "So there's most likely research going on right now into the nature of tentacles and the anti-matter chain reaction, and how to stop everything from going boom in a few months without killing him. Our best bet now is to look into what kind of information's been discovered and see if we can find anything the scientists might have missed."

Karasuma was also standing at the blackboard, on my other side. "He's right," he said. "There are research facilities all over the world dedicating themselves to the problem twenty-four-seven. Needless to say, their work is highly classified. Finding out what they know will be next to impossible."

Pfft. Classified. "Infiltration of the project database complete!" Ritsu chirped. Internet security is her _bitch_.

"What the?!" Karasuma shouted.

I gave Ritsu a thumbs up. "Nice timing," I told her.

She smiled at me and giggled before opening the school jacket her avatar wore, revealing the databases lining the inside of her pockets. "If it's online, I can access it no problem," she said. "Thanks for the advice on breaking firewalls, Nick, it made getting everything a lot easier."

Karasuma shot me a black look, but I just shrugged. I mean, I was just repeating what Din and Yui had told me about their exploits. Not my fault that Ritsu used it. Heh.

"What can I say?" she said coyly. "I've learned a lot in the last year."

"Nice job," Nagisa said as we all approached Ritsu to comb through the project databases.

"Wow," Isogai murmured as the labs scrolled... and scrolled... and scrolled... "Every lab in existence has to be on this thing. Jackpot!"

"Uh-oh," Ritsu said softly. "I've combed through all the files, but... I'm not seeing any trace of the information we need."

I clicked my tongue in irritation. "Tch, that's what I was worried about," I said. "The really important stuff is going to be on internal networks, not open to the Internet." After all, everyone knows that if it's on the Internet, sooner or later someone unintended will have access. Case in point, Ritsu. That's why the important stuff was either hard copy only, and never even made digital, or kept isolated.

"Guess the higher-ups only hand off that kind of stuff in person," Isogai sighed.

"Great," Maehara muttered. "So is anyone actually doing research on how to save Korosensei?"

I glanced over my shoulder to see Karasuma rubbing his forehead. Heh. This is probably going to give him a coronary.

"Guys, look!" Fuwa said, catching my attention. I looked back to see her pointing at the screen. "There's a lab in the U.S! 'Preventing Destructive Anti-matter Chain Reactions Due to Tentacle Aging and Fission'. I'm no scientist, but that seems like a _definite_ hit to me!"

I shrugged. Yeah, that's probably about right. All the words are in the right place.

"Last samples returned from I.S.S on January 25th," Fuwa read.

My eyes widened. What.

"What is I.S.S?" she asked. "Does anybody know?"

"Hooooly crap," I muttered under my breath.

"Wait a minute," Kayano breathed. "That's..."

"...Whoa!" Mimura exclaimed. "That's the International Space Station!"

We're going to space, boys.

Hells yes.

He said, "They're conducting their research in outer space!"

Okuda added, "Um, it's possible! Certain types of research require zero gravity, or a perfect vacuum! And, well, of course, if there's a chance it could cause a big, uh, catastrophic explosion, there'd be less collateral damage."

It made sense. In the vacuum of space, there wouldn't be any matter for the anti-matter to chain into, which is what made the explosion on the moon so devastating. The detonation would be limited to the original amount of matter; still horribly powerful, but not seventy percent of the moon powerful.

"Couldn't we just ask for the data as colleagues?" Isogai asked.

I snorted. "Doubt it," I said. "We're just one small outpost, and something this big is going to be a powerful bargaining chip. The States won't just hand it over because we asked nicely."

Behind us Karasuma sighed. "Nick's not wrong," he said, "although his take on the matter is a bit cynical." I rolled my eyes. Sorry for knowing how the Ministry of Defense works, sir... "With all the red tape involved, the data might not make it in time."

"Like I said," I muttered. "Bargaining chip."

The class fell silent. It felt worse, knowing that the answer was out there and we were just prevented from seeing it because of government. Hhh... I need to punch Kikuoka on principal, once I wake up. "Mr. Karasuma," Karma said from where he was leaning against the wall, "I know what you're thinking. Killing him is still the backup plan. We're not going to go into this half-cocked. But if there's any hope of saving him at all, we'll do whatever it takes. If not, this class will stick to the original game plan. Won't we, Nagisa?" he asked, grinning.

Nagisa nodded with a smile. "That's been our understanding from the start."

Karma looked back at Karasuma. "Before we do anything, Nick and I need a blueprint. Be square with us, how serious are the rules we're about to break?"

Very.

Karasuma hummed in thought, studying us, and Korosensei turned to him. "Mr. Karasuma," our teacher said. "Miss Irina. Would you give the students and I a moment? What we're about to discuss," he said when they looked at him in confusion, "might cause one or two liability issues for you."

After Karasuma and Irina had cleared out of the classroom, shutting the door behind them, I smiled. "Plausible deniability, eh?" I asked lightly, stretching my arms over my head. "Makes sense. As long as they don't know what we're up to, they're not going to have to report it." Like in the messages I prepared for Kana, that touched on classified information. As long as she didn't know, she couldn't get in trouble.

"Precisely," Korosensei nodded at me. "Okie-dokie, here's essentially what you're trying to do. You need to grab a quick peek at the research data in question, before it reaches America from outer space."

Isogai nodded. "Yeah, but as for the how..."

Korosensei nodded. "Notice the research schedule. 'The re-entry capsule carrying the research data will plunge into the Pacific Ocean. As a precaution against potential theft by the super-creature by which the said data pertains, the capsule will remain unopened en route to the lab.' An insightful provision on their part. I'm not equipped to handle heavy objects, you see. A five-ton capsule might as well be a bank safe for all I'd be able to carry it."

I blinked. Except opening the safe now, or drilling a hole into it, or...

"But look!" Korosensei said, grinning goofily, holding up a tablet. "Lookie lookie! Guess where _this_ beautifully streamlined bucket of bolts is about to be sent."

Yes.

Yessss.

 _Yesssssssss_

I am grinning like a loon right now and I don't even give a damn.

"Is that a manned rocket?" Itona asked.

"Precisely," Korosensei said. "A proof of concept craft, developed right here in Japan. Test dummies have been given the honor of taking the first trip. _But_..." he said, leering at us, "what if they were replaced... with actual people?"

"Wha?!" the class gasped.

"You're serious..." Takebayashi breathed.

I grinned lightly. Beside me, Karma chuckled. "That's it," he said. "Our teacher's officially gone off the deep end."

"Y'know," I said thoughtfully, "I actually thought it would have happened earlier than this."

"Yes!" Korosensei cheered. "Consider this the Assassination Classroom's out-of-season research project!" he exclaimed, pointing a tentacle straight up. "Hijacking a space station and stealing experiment data!"

"Whoa," Nagisa breathed. "No way."

"Yes way!" Korosensei exclaimed. " _All the way_!"

Fucking hells... This was gonna be _good_.

* * *

 **I have no idea how the original author comes up with this stuff, but I'm not complaining.**

 **Thematically, Nick lies about halfway between Nagisa and Karma in terms of assassination styles. He's great with planning and execution with his assassinations, but if an unexpected killing blow becomes available he won't hesitate to use it. This is also reflected in his combat style; he'll fight hand to hand, but also use a knife to slit a throat if he can.**

 **The biggest problem I have with this chapter, honestly, is that by design Nick just has no agency. It's down to Nagisa and Karma, and all Nick can do is watch. I would have loved to let Nick be a third group or something – playing the mercenary until the end, when he emerges as the sole member of a third faction, the 'I dunno Team' – but that would be stupid and dumb. He had his clash against Nagisa, he got what he wanted. And really, the important part of his character arc happened when he finally chose something. He's never really _chosen_ anything before. There was always someone he could push the decisions off to, or take orders from. Why do you think he's a mercenary? Until now, he all but literally could not choose between options. Even something as inconsequential as lunch between two restaurants, he would let someone else decide or just flip a coin.**

 **Oh well. Please enjoy Nagisa and Karma beating the shit out of each other instead.**

 **And then E Class going to space! That shit is extremely awesome. Regarding the briefing earlier, like always Nick tends to not take serious things seriously, and seriously focus on trivial matters, and this is no difference. He'll cheerfully disregard the fact that this is Korosensei's life that they're talking about – just the same way that he'd cheerfully disregard the fact that they'd still be trying to kill their teacher should Karma have won.**

 **Many thanks for everyone that favorited, followed, or reviewed.**

 **(hoo boy next chapter is gonna be good! and also longer because this one is short)**


	17. Outer Space Time

_"Yes!" Korosensei cheered. "Consider this the Assassination Classroom's out-of-season research project!" he exclaimed, pointing a tentacle straight up. "Hijacking a space station and stealing experiment data!"_

 _"Whoa," Nagisa breathed. "No way."_

 _"Yes way!" Korosensei exclaimed. "_ All _the way!"_

 _Fucking hells... This was gonna be_ good _._

* * *

 **Chapter 17: Outer Space Time**

 **(53 Days)**

With those words, E Class began our most ambitious project yet.

I heard Nagisa say that our 'daring escapade was launched'. Seriously, I think that kid has a grudge against our language or something.

Either way, we all got to work. Itona whipped up a scale model of the I.S.S so he and Takebayashi could study the schematics in case we made it that far. Meanwhile, I sat down with Isogai to hash out the different infiltration routes we were planning. It wasn't a fun job, really - in fact, it was downright tedious. "Isogai, what number are we on?" I asked, tapping a pencil against the desk. "Hit another branching point."

"Twenty," he said, passing me a new sheet of paper. I let out an ugly sound before shaking my head and continuing to work. C'mon, if a plan has twenty separate points of failure then the plan's too complicated. Then again, we _were_ breaking into a highly-secure facility with the intention of stowing away on a rocket ship. I guess the plan kinda has to be complicated.

Still, it bugs me.

"Hey, I've been wondering," Okano asked while the class was chatting with Korosensei. "Does Japan really have the technology to launch an un-manned rocket into space?"

"It's hard to believe," Korosensei said, lifting a tentacle, "but as it so happens, yes. Of course, I might have had a little something to do with that, but whatever."

I frowned at the schematics I was studying. I had to remember this stuff, for when I returned to the real world. If I got lucky, I'd be able to sell off the technological advances for money - and if not, well, just more confirmation that Cardinal was doing its simulation right. Either way, I get the kudos.

The plans I made with Isogai's assistance weren't perfect, despite how I wished they could be. I didn't have all the knowledge in the beginning, so there were holes. Unknowns. Things like the level of security in the buildings and launch zone, the security guard's patrolling patterns, how easily we'd be able to infiltrate the command center, things like that. There were contingencies - and gods damn there were a lot of them - but until we actually put the plans into action I wouldn't be able to do much more than try to imagine everything that could and would go wrong. See, I hate relying on luck, and Lady Luck apparently returns the sentiment. My luck is absolute shit, so my only way around it is to remove the factor as much as I could.

Ugh. I hate dealing with hypotheticals. In Aincrad I just had to have people braver and or stupider, the two aren't mutually exclusive, than me face down the boss a few times so I had an idea of what I'd be working with.

Oh well. Korosensei was here as a backup, so I guess things couldn't go _too_ tits up. Plus, I'm in E Class now. When there's a problem for us to tackle, we all come together.

Sometimes that reason is to point and laugh at Okajima, who had to run screaming from the gravity training wheel a few times during training. Sometimes, that reason is to... Yeah, nah, that was mainly it. Run, you little pervert, run.

Throughout the planning, Korosensei had us keep several things in mind. "For the plans this time, you'll need to hijack your opponent's eyes, ears, and limbs however you can. Most of the personnel are unrelated to the assassination, so you can't afford to cause too many problems for them. Understood?"

I gave a lazy salute to the octopus. "Yessir," I said. "Ritsu, we good on that front?"

She winked at me. "Leave it to me!" she said. "I'll do everything I can to get you into space."

I grinned. Man, she's really changed since she joined E Class. Now, I could barely manage to remember that she was an AI, just like when I talked to Din and Yui.

...Come to think of it, since everything in this world is a Fluctlight, does that make her consciousness a human being pretending to be an AI pretending to be a human?

"...Nick, are you okay?"

I groaned. My head had thunked against my desk. "'M fine, Ritsu," I said. "Just... was thinking too hard about stuff."

...

Before long, it was time to put our plan into action.

January 18th, the moment of truth. Or, uh, the night of, more accurately.

Our invasion of Cape Shimazu Space Center was underway under the cover of night; thanks to the surveillance team's hard work, I'd figured out the schedule shift timing, and we were invading right in the middle of the night shift. The guards would be tired and their observation would be diminished just enough to give us an extra edge.

Theoretically we _could_ sneak in a few hours from now, to minimize the time between infiltrating and the rocket launch, but then we'd be doing so in the morning and I didn't want to deal with that. The new shift would have _just_ started and they'd be extra alert thanks to the impending launch.

Our first challenge - actually getting inside the complex. Isogai and I had bandied about a few different strategies to get inside, like sending a few teams in different directions, but in the end we decided to go with the simple route. That is, jump over the fence.

"Hup!" I grunted, jumping on the miniature trampoline before launching myself in the air. Front flip for style, aaaaand... Nailed it. I landed in a roll and stayed low to the ground when I recovered, holding perfectly still just in case the motion of twenty-eight students jumping over a barbed-wire fence had caught someone's attention. Like animals hidden in a forest, we'd be invisible unless we started moving. Human vision is, at its core, attracted to movement.

The small trampolines were left on the other side of the fence, but that was fine. No guards patrolled around the edge of the cliff at night, and we'd be done and retrieved them before anyone came close.

After everyone was safely over the fence, we darted across the open area towards the few sheltering bushes we could find. I gave the signal once we were secure. Yada and Kurahashi nodded and started stripping off their gym uniform; the guys, of course, politely turned our backs. I was busy setting up the mobile command center Ritsu and I had developed a while back anyway.

"Alright," Kurahashi finally chirped. "Ready whenever you are, Nick~!"

I glanced at the two over my shoulder. Yada was wearing a pale blue coat and a darker blue skirt, with a tan purse slung over her shoulder; Kurahashi was wearing a pink coat with fur lining the collar, and she clutched a purse in her hand. Both girls had boots on. "Excellent, looking good," I told them. With the two of them dressed like schoolgirls on a sightseeing trip, nobody would expect that they were assassins. "Lemme check the feeds..."

I pulled up the screens. Sure enough, the tiny button cameras Itona had developed and given to Hara to replace worked perfectly fine. And I'd hurriedly reassured the girls that they _only_ transmitted to this computer, and that Ritsu was the only one capable of receiving the feeds and displaying them. I was the only one with access and I still needed Ritsu's help. I definitely remembered the problems of Itona Mark 1 a while back, and didn't want the girls mad at _me_.

"Kimura, ready?" I asked the boy. He straightened up from where he was stretching and nodded. I double-checked his camera feed, and grinned. "Showtime, everyone," I said. "Let's be about it, then."

Kurahashi and Yada easily snuck into the building that housed the control room. "Good so far," I said into the feed that linked to their earpieces. "Route 5 of the plan is going smoothly, so time to do your thing, ladies."

I saw through the feeds that they'd reached the main computer room. Judging by the tilting of the feed, they were peeking around the corner. I saw a lot of complicated screens with people sitting at terminals; a few staffers were wandering around with data tablets, and a few others were chatting with their coworkers. All in all, it was kinda ordinary for a space station. Weird.

To the left, a single security guard was standing in front of the door leading to the control room. I let out a sigh; that had been a worry, since the girls would have had to make a bigger ruckus if there'd been two guards. With just the one, we'd be fine.

"Wow, check it out!" Yada suddenly said brightly as she and Kurahashi rounded the corner. "Isn't this where you launch the rocket?"

I sighed and shook my head. The cardinal rule of being somewhere you're not supposed to be; if you act like you belong, people usually assume you know what you're doing. Naturally that wouldn't work perfectly here - they didn't have the ID cards I saw around the workers' necks - but their cheerful confidence would all but force the scientists to believe their cover story.

"Sorry, ladies," one of the staffers said as a group of people converged suddenly, startled by the appearance of two middle-schoolers. "This area is restricted."

"Where are their visitor ID cards?" someone asked. See? Knew it.

"We're here for a field trip, but we got kinda lost," Kurahashi said as she and Yada clasped hands.

"We just followed some random science guy, and wound up in here!" Yada said with a giggle. "Oops, I guess. Sorry." Bare-legged junior high girls versus scientists - fight.

My money's on the girls.

"I don't care how cute you are, you're not allowed in here!" one of the staffers said. "This place is strictly prohibited to everyone except authorized personnel!"

"Aw," Yada complained, "but I wanted to push the launch button!" Then she struck, attacking the staffer.

"Ahaha-" he burst out laughing. "Hey, tickling me won't change my answer!" he managed to say between bursts of laughter. "Security!"

The security guard in front of the control laughed and made his way over to help escort the two girls out. Kimura took his chance at that instant. Everyone's attention was on the guard and our distraction, so it was child's play for him to dash inside the control room and duck down behind the bank of computers without being seen.

"'Kay, Ritsu," he whispered into his comms. "I'm in the control room now. You said any of these computers should do the trick, right?"

"Affirmative!"

"Okay," he said, leaning back. I saw him reach up, though the camera didn't have a good view of what he was doing. "I'm plugging it in and then getting out, stat."

I left the feed on Kimura's screen running, while I glanced back at the girls. They were in the middle of being escorted by the security. Excellent, no problems there.

"Security analysis complete," Ritsu announced, holding a scale model of the rocket in her hands playfully. "All clear! Installation of a remote control virus onto the control room mainframe... successful! Both the onboard flight systems and the ground control network now operate on my command."

The virus we'd chosen to use was, appropriately enough, a modified version of the one the Reaper had tried to infect Ritsu with. I feel like it's poetic justice that the virus used to make an attempt on Korosensei's life is now being used to make an attempt at saving that life.

"Sweet!" Maehara whispered. "Stage one, cleared!"

I feel like it's my purview to make video game-related jokes, but I'll just appreciate the dramatic irony.

"Alright," I said into the comms. "Overwatch signing out, you three. You're on your own to escape safely. Meet in the egress tunnels we picked out."

My only reply was physical – Yada subtly made an OK sign with the hand away from the security guard, and Kimura gave a thumbs up – but that made sense. The girls were being escorted, and Kimura was still sneaking around, so they wouldn't make verbal confirmation.

Closing the laptop, I slipped it in my bag and strapped it down securely. Swinging the bag up onto my back, I nodded to the assembled E Class. "We're good to go," I told them.

"Roger," Ritsu replied. "I'm confirming E Class's current position now..." I watched through the feed as a satellite view zoomed in from the view of the entire Earth until our current location was a blinking red dot on the center of the screen. Seriously, though, that was a little bit of overkill. Now you're just showing off. "I'm shutting down the security in the entry route for the time being. The security measures are mostly automatic, so with this it should be simple to approach the launch pad." She snapped her fingers.

E Class bolted forward. This was one of the more dangerous sections of the plan. If we got caught here, we were mostly screwed; fortunately, most of the patrol routes didn't look this way, instead relying on the automatic cameras and such, so with Ritsu in charge we had little to nothing to worry about.

We ducked behind the cargo containers as we approached the rocket proper. The dirt and grass under our feet had given way to concrete pavement, and the physical security had gotten a lot tighter. I saw a few guards on lookout, as well as a few roaming patrols that I couldn't see but knew existed. "Talk about huge..." Isogai whispered. Sugino was staring up at the rocket in awe.

Couldn't blame him; it was even larger than I'd expected. I mean, I'd seen the size comparisons, and I knew intellectually that it was massive, but _holy shit_ that thing was tall.

"Figures there'd be a lot of people at the most crucial point..." Kataoka whispered, staring at the crow surrounding the rocket.

It was less than ideal, and I clicked my tongue in irritation. "Ritsu?" I whispered. "ETA on the patrol, and any cameras we need to worry about?"

"Next patrol in approximately five minutes," Ritsu told us. Well, that's good. "More cameras... let me adjust their angle." A second passed. "There, that should do it," she said. "Please, be careful."

"Will do," I said. "And thanks, Ritsu."

Kataoka nodded to me and then said to the class, "Erase your presence and break through!"

Like wraiths, we moved smoothly towards the stairway leading up the scaffolding. Without incident or noise, we started to ascend. Below us, a security guard rolled his shoulder. "Only eight more hours until we launch," a tech said, glancing at his watch. The security guard just mumbled agreement.

Excellent. E Class was becoming experts at erasing their presence. I was able to take it one step further and simply _replace_ my presence. See, the other students felt like holes in my senses. If they were to try to sense me, they'd just feel like nothing was wrong. Everything was normal. There just… wasn't anyone there.

Either way, we didn't have a problem getting to the stairs. A hundred and sixty flights of stairs, though, were a problem in and of themselves. I would have loved to take the elevator I saw to the side, but that would be noisy and probably attract attention. "Come on," Okajima panted in a whisper. "We have to climb fifty meters of stairs?"

"There, there," Okano said with a grin. "It's not often we get to climb up to a launch pad, y'know."

Where was Korosensei? I looked around for the octopus in question, before I saw Kataoka talking with Isogai and pointing up. I glanced up and saw the octopus standing by the door, already going over the rocket. Yeesh. He's going so far just to ensure our safety, when his own life is on the line.

Well, that's in his character, I guess.

"Nue-heh-heh-heh," he laughed as we approached. "Inspection perfection!"

"Anyone else smell a liability suit?" Karma drawled.

"Please don't say things like that!"

Ritsu interrupted the commentary. "All clear," she reported. "I'm relaying the pre-recorded footage of the dummies in the cockpit. You can swap them out now, no one will notice."

The students got to work hauling the dummies out of the cockpit. Meanwhile, I grinned and opened up the comms channel again. "Kimura, Yada, Kurahashi, any problems getting out safely?"

"Nope!" Kurahashi chirped.

"I had to take the long way around," Kimura groaned. "Nearly ran into a scientist. I think I passed by a few cameras, though."

"Ritsu owns the cameras," I told him. "Not too hard to manipulate the footage. You three hang tight, we're almost finished up here."

"Roger," three voices replied.

I disconnected from the comms. Overwatch was my job, and I was good at it. Dealing with twenty-six well-trained assassins was _so_ much easier than wrangling fifty-some bits-for-brains members of a boss raid.

I looked over to see that they'd all but finished removing the spacesuits from the dummies. Two dummies, huh? Guess that means two people are going. "Alright," Korosensei said. "Only two people can ride this shuttle to space. Based on your aptitude tests, anyone here can go... so if you want to go, raise your hand!"

" _Me_!" every guy in the class said instantly, raising his hand. The only one who didn't was Karma, who seemed remarkably disinterested in going to _space_. Naturally, I had my hand up.

"Hah, wonderful," Nakamura grinned. "Boys will be boys."

"Remember," Korosensei continued, "this is an experimental vessel with as yet no successful flights. Who's going now?"

The boys all groaned and lowered their hands sheepishly. Kayano giggled.

Of the interested parties, only Itona and I still had our hands raised.

I mean, it's fucking _space_. And even if I do die, I'll just wake up in RATH, no big deal.

...I think.

I'm... pretty sure there won't be any issues, even though I'm recovering from what was probably traumatic brain damage.

...Right...?

...Maybe I shouldn't go, just in case.

I quietly put my hand down and studiously ignored Okano's grin.

"I want to go anyway," Itona said flatly. "I love technology. The whole idea makes my mouth water. It's just," he said, putting his hand down, "it's clear who _should_ go. Nagisa, Karma," he said, gesturing at the pair.

"Whaat?" Karma drawled. "Look, I'm not that fond of taking big risks. Especially with my life on the line. Why don't you send Terasaka and one of the dummies instead? They're both expendable."

I choked back a laugh. "Asshole!" Terasaka snapped.

"Karma the fighter in case there's a scuffle, and Nagisa the assassin just to be safe," Kataoka said. "Seems like a pret-ty ideal hijacking team to me."

"Yeah," Isogai said with a smile. "We'll just save up our money so we can all go someday."

I grinned at Karma. "Looks like _someone_ 's been shanghaied," I taunted him with a grin. "Gonna back out now?"

"Don't even think about skipping out on this, man," Terasaka said, thumping Karma in the chest. He seemed less than thrilled at Terasaka's man-handling. "You nearly killed each other trying to get us on the same page! Be responsible for once in your life and take charge!"

"Listen to the idiot, Karma~."

"Shut up, Nick!" Terasaka growled at me. I just snickered.

"Karma... I say we give it a shot," Nagisa said. He smiled and pointed at the moon. "What's better than a trip to outer space with your best friend? Eh? Come on!"

Karma stared at Nagisa, and then finally let out a sigh of defeat. "Sure, fine," he said as he started taking off his jacket. "I did promise to hear you out, didn't I?"

"It's decided then," Korosensei said, nodding. "Everyone else, grab the dummies and prepare the retreat."

"Yes!" we whispered.

After retracing our steps and having Ritsu restore the security cameras she'd changed, we all huddled in the tunnels. "Is that everyone?" Yada asked me as we started hurrying out. "Where are Karma and Nagisa?"

"We had to leave them behind as bait," I said in a perfectly natural voice. "First rule of chases - you don't have to be faster than the chaser, just faster than the slowest person." Yada giggled, but rolled her eyes. "Class decided they're the ones who get to go to space. Lucky jerks..."

In the end, we managed to exfiltrate without an issue and collected all the evidence we'd left behind before storing them away in the bus we'd used to get here. After that, I read a book and did my best to get _some_ rest while the rest of E Class slept - we were sticking around in case something went wrong, and to watch the launch. We could have just gone home before reassembling in eight hours, but if Nagisa and Karma needed us we'd need to be here.

...

"100, 99, 98..." the countdown lady's voice echoed. We stood as a class on the hills set aside for viewing the launch in our school uniforms; to everyone else, we were just a regular old classroom wanting to see something special.

"Do you think they'll be okay?" Kayano murmured. I just patted the girl's shoulder and smiled reassuringly. I knew she had a crush on Nagisa, and that she was worried for his safety. She looked up at me before smiling back and gently squeezing my hand.

"Korosensei checked every nook and cranny of the blueprints and fuselage," I said. "And we've got Ritsu on the inside. Nothing's gonna go wrong."

"15, 14, 13..."

I sighed and shifted my weight. I was putting on a brave face, but holy crap the tension was starting to eat at me as well.

"8, 7, 6, 5..."

The dull roar of the rockets started up. As it started getting louder and louder, I winced and covered my ears as best I could. Nooo, my poor hearing...

"3, 2, 1."

The roar _exploded_.

"Main engine ignition!" someone said over the loudspeaker. I could barely hear it.

The smoke from the rockets was thick and white, but I could still see the insanely bright glow of the thrusters boosting. As it rose in the air, I mouthed the word, 'liftoff'.

"Whoa..." the class murmured.

I looked up as the rocket started to tilt. I did a little bit of research, prior to this event. To reach escape velocity and get to space, the rocket needed to go at least 11 kilometers per second. That was, approximately Mach 33.

On this day, for the first time, members of E Class were faster than Korosensei.

I stared up at the contrails, a smile on my face.

Good luck, gentlemen. Hope everything goes smoothly.

...

We returned to our classroom and immediately clustered around Ritsu's machine. She and I had figured out how to display the feed from Nagisa's phone; naturally, the re-entry vehicle would be sending video to the command center, so all we had to do was interrupt that. Unfortunately, we couldn't do that until the shuttle was safely onboard the I.S.S, so all we could do was wait and watch the official video, which was just an admittedly amazing view of Earth from space.

It was interesting watching as the space station went through the docking procedure, but after the shuttle was brought inside all I could see was darkness, which - surprisingly enough - was kinda boring.

Suddenly, Ritsu grinned. "Eheh!" she giggled, holding up a pair of scissors. "The comm link with the Earth has been hijacked! Patching you in now..."

The screen went fuzzy with static for a second, before a camera phone feed started pouring in. A bald man with some scruff was staring in surprise, as well as a guy with dreadlocks and some guy behind them that I couldn't really see thanks to the bad lighting. The feed drifted awkwardly, like it was constantly panning to the right - oh, right, zero gravity. "Excellent job, thanks," Nagisa said before solemnly clearing his throat. «So, we have a bomb,» he said in English, and I just sighed, introducing my palm to my face.

I keep forgetting Nagisa's total nonchalance when it comes to things like this.

«We wanna keep things nice and peaceful-like,» he continued. «Back away, please. Let's talk this out.»

«It's gettin' a little cramped in here for my tastes, boys,» Karma drawled. «I vote we move this inside where there's more elbow room. Yeah, that's right, let's go.»

Once they were in better lighting, I could see things a lot more clearly. Nagisa had grabbed his phone and secured it to his belt - now, it only moved when he did, which wasn't _much_ better but at least we were getting a more or less constant point of view. "They're moving really well," Okano said.

"We've done acrobatic training daily," Yada pointed out. "Zero G wasn't that much harder."

The movement on screen finally stopped, and I returned my attention to the space odyssey in front of us. There were a total of six crew members on board - one whom Karma was holding hostage with a knife to his neck, and five others. The bald guy seemed to be the leader - or at least was in the center - and flanked by two astronauts on each side. It was a regular display of multiculturalism up there. Then again, I suppose the I.S.S is called International for a reason.

«Okay, so,» Nagisa said as the astronauts stared at him, «all we're after is a copy of the American team's research data, that's it. You have my word we won't make any other demands.» The guy with dreadlocks was on Baldy's left, Nagisa's right, and then some guy with a really dour look and a hawk-like nose was to _his_ left. They both stared at Nagisa.

«You probably already know this,» Karma said, «but our teacher is the monster you're studying. No telling what he'll do to the planet if you don't give us what we're asking for. He's capable of anything.»

The other two astronauts just floated silently. The blond one on the far left, and the Asian guy to his left both watched the situation unfold calmly.

Not good. They were _too_ calm. Nagisa was holding up the bomb, and Karma had a knife to the neck of their coworker, and they were just not giving a shit.

Impressive.

«Well, first of all,» Baldy said, clapping his hands, «let me give you kids a big round of applause for the balls it took to get this far.»

«Uh, thank you, I guess?» Nagisa said.

«But really,» Baldy continue, «you seriously can't think we're that easy to take out. We're not going to drop to our knees over a bomb. Think about it,» he said, staring at Nagisa, and his eyes were hard. Prepared for death. I see, I get it. Up there, _everything's_ a death trap. They were working with antimatter - trying to figure out what made the moon blow up.

They were already willing to die.

«We're astronauts,» he said. «We came up here knowing full-well that death is an occupational hazard.»

I could see the tension in Baldy's face as he stared down Nagisa and Karma.

Suddenly, he smirked. «What do ya say we put down the weapons?» he said, raising a finger. The other astronauts flanking him relaxed, and I licked my lips. They weren't going to fight. «We're willing to talk this out like civilized people. But first you'll let our teammate go.»

I heard Karma hum, and a second later a sixth man swam into view, turning around to face the boys. Irritatingly, he nudged Nagisa's phone free, and it started floating again. «This is nuts,» he said. «Even if you do steal the data, how do you plan on getting home? Are you going to ask the guys you just threatened to give you a lift?»

«We can manage on our own,» Nagisa said confidently. «Our classmate worked out the return orbit calculations to the last decimal point.»

"Last decimal point?" I muttered. "How many _is_ that, anyway?"

"Ssh!" Kayano hushed me. Don't ssh me girl, I know you've got a crush on Nagisa and am not afraid to use it.

«Yep!» Ritsu's voice chirped. It was being broadcasted through the phone, and also streamed to us.

«So there's that,» Nagisa said. «And, of course our teacher can do whatever fine-tuning we need from midair.»

«That's incredibly reckless!» Dreads said.

Blondy shifted forward. «Is this fun for you? We all think we're invincible when we're young, but damn!»

«Look, pal,» Karma said. Ritsu's phone had floated far back enough that I could see the back of his head and his shoulders as he floated in midair. «I'm not here 'cause I wanna be. Nuh uh. I'm here because my friend asked me.»

"Aww," I cooed. "Now hug it out."

"They can't hear you," Isogai reminded me.

"I'm sure they'll feel my heartfelt desire," I snarked.

Nagisa glanced at Karma. "Seriously?"

«We know we're not invincible,» Karma continued. «I've given it a lot of thought in the past few months. Look at us. We're a bunch of kids prepared to assassinate our teacher,» he said. I glanced at Korosensei, but the octopus was staring at the screen. «That puts us in a unique position,» Karma said as he gripped his dagger in a reverse grip. Perfect for plunging it into someone's heart. «We understand how fragile life is. Just like you, am I right?»

«You put a lot of stock in the hare-brained schemes your target cooks up, huh?» Baldy asked, looking down. Excuse me? I like to think I had _some_ impact, thank you very much. After a few seconds of thought, he said, «Well, boy, guess I'll take it upon myself to accept your demands. We'll let them see the files,» he said to Blondy. Blondy seemed a bit shocked by the sudden caving.

Baldy turned back to the boys. «In exchange,» he said, «you can earn those files by helping us unload our supplies. Let's put these kids to work so they can get what they need and go.»

Saying that, he turned and swam off.

"Well, that went well," I said, watching as Nagisa retrieved Ritsu's phone. "Guess all we have to do now is -"

"Wow... He looks so _cute_ at fourteen!"

* * *

The room we were assigned was pretty comfortable, for being aboard a research facility. The two beds on opposite sides of the same wall weren't four-star quality, or even the quality of the bed that I had back home. But it was a place I could lie down more or less comfortably, and to my exhausted body that felt like lying down on the softest cloud imaginable.

Still, though, there were some things I needed to figure out. "Hey, Asuna?" I rolled over to stare the girl currently resting on the sole chair in the room, eyes distant. "You doing okay?"

"Hm?" Asuna started. "Oh! Yes, Kana... I'm doing better." She exhaled slowly. "Now that I know Kazuto is safe... I think I might be able to get some sleep."

I giggled. "I know. It's like all of that stress finally hit..." I yawned loudly and rolled back over. "It feels so strange, y'know? Yesterday we had no idea where in the world they were, and now we're only a floor below them. But I still feel like they're so far away..."

 _Tap-tap-tap_

I looked up at the light knocking at our door just before it slid open. "Who..." My eyes widened. "You?"

"Wait, I know you," Asuna gasped. "You're the nurse that took care of Kirito and Nick!"

The person standing there was Miss Aki, the nurse that had looked over Kazuto and Nick during that incident in December, as well as the one that had handled physical therapy for me and Kazuto. "It's good to see you again, Miss Yuuki, Miss Izawa," she said with a tilted smile. "I wish it could be under better circumstances, though. But it's alright. Kirigaya and Weyr will definitely come back."

Asuna looked up and said in an arch tone, "Of course they will. But... why are you here, Miss Aki? I thought you were just a nurse working at the Chiyoda Hospital."

Aki smiled. "I'm here to take care of Kirigaya and Weyr, of course."

"So, what's your _real_ job?" I asked pointedly. This was the second time she's shown up related to Kikuoka. "Are you really a nurse? Or maybe it's just a disguise, like Kikuoka."

"No, no," she said gently. "I'm a real nurse, with the qualifications to prove it. The only difference is that I graduated from the Tokyo Self-Defense Senior Nurse Academy."

"Hm." It made some small amount of sense; it at least explained how she knew Kikuoka. "Then that means you should be working at the Self-Defense Forces' Hospital. But you were a nurse at my hospital during the SAO incident, which means all this was one big plot by Kikuoka, wasn't it?"

Aki smiled. "Well done."

"There's one more thing," Asuna said. "If you graduated from the Nursing Academy, you'd be treated the same as recruits entering the army under the academy's promotion system. In that case, you're a nurse as well as..."

The nurse raised a finger to her lips and shushed Asuna. Then she straightened up into a standard salute and barked, "Petty Officer Second Class Natsumi Aki! I shall personally take care of the lives of Kirigaya and Weyr!" She winked at the two of us. "There we go."

Asuna and I watched her, before sighing simultaneously and shaking our heads. "Well, take good care of them," I sighed. "But that can't be all you were here for."

Aki nodded. "Actually, I was here to let you know... Weyr's treatment has finished up, and he should be waking up in an hour or so. The damage to his neural network was less extensive than Kirigaya's, though we're not sure if that was because he was injected later, his body was in better shape, because he had more oxygen in his system, or for some other reason."

I hadn't heard much of that beyond 'Nick is going to wake up soon', to be honest. "He's... he's going to wake up? He's fine?"

"He should be," Aki told me. "In fact, I was going to let you know that if you wanted to go in to the virtual world and visit him, it would be a good idea. I'm sure he could use a friendly face right about now," she smiled. "You wouldn't be able to stay long, but I'm sure you could spend a few minutes in the STL."

"R-really?" My stomach was doing flips, and I'm not quite sure when I'd stood up from the bed, but I had to have gotten up, otherwise I wouldn't be standing in front of Aki right now. "I... I can go see him? In Underworld?"

"Actually, he's not in Underworld. Since there was only one machine linked to Underworld at the time, Kirigaya got that one, and Weyr's in a separate system. That's why you can only visit Weyr right now," Aki admitted. "But some of the spare machines have been set up, and if you wanted to visit him, say hello..."

I wanted nothing more than that. Nothing in the whole world. But... "Asuna?" I asked, turning to look at my best friend. "Are you... Are you okay with that?"

Asuna seemed so forlorn for a second, before she smiled at me. "Go and see him, Kana," she said. "I know how much you've been missing him."

"Yeah..." But Asuna missed Kazuto and Nick too. It wasn't _fair_ that I was the only one who got to see him. If only there was... Wait a second. Aki said 'some of the spare machines'. Some implies more than one. And more than one implies... "Aki? You'd better make sure there are two machines connected to Nick's world."

"I can take care of that," she said, sounding a little confused, "but... if I may ask, why two?"

I grinned and bounded over to Asuna, pulling her to her feet. "Because the only way I'm going to see Nick is if Asuna comes along too," I declared. Aki just smiled and nodded before turning to the side and saying something I couldn't catch. "I know he's like a brother to you, Asuna," I said. "This way, we both get to see him."

Asuna smiled. "Thank you, Kana." Her voice was tight, like she was struggling to hold back tears. "It'll be good to see him again."

The spiral staircase we had to go up to reach the machines was remarkably gloomy. Asuna fidgeted with the summer knit she was wearing over her T-shirt, and I patted the comfortable hoodie that I'd been wearing since Nick gave it to me.

The clanging steps of our footsteps on the metal steps brought back memories I wasn't entirely sure should be brought back. I can't remember how many times I'd traveled up stairs just like these, in that steel castle floating in the infinite skies. After every boss monster had been killed, I'd made it a point to eventually – maybe a month or two after it was cleared – go through the Labyrinth myself and take the steps. After all, I needed to be able to survive on the next floor in order to sell information about it. But those climbs had always been lonely, the sounds of my boots clacking against the hard stone echoing in the empty stairway.

But now, I was walking with a friend. I wasn't alone anymore.

"...Kirito..." Asuna whispered softly.

Damn it, Nick... Why weren't you here with me? A spike of loneliness pierced my heart, and suddenly all of the terror, loneliness, and soul-crushing despair that had loomed over me like the Sword of Damocles threatened to fall. My jaw trembled as I felt my stomach tighten. Is this what Nick feels, when he's having one of his episodes? The absolute futility of everything? That no matter what I do, it won't change anything, so why do anything at all?

No. Nick is safe. He's here, and he's going to wake up soon. I have to push through the loneliness and wait for him to wake up. And then when he's awake, we can go out stargazing together, just the two of us. We can stare up at the sky and find constellations, and make up constellations, and make up stories about them. I want to share my stories with the world, but I want to share my stories with Nick most of all, so until I can, I have to be strong.

Ahead of me, Asuna paused on the steps of the spiral staircase, and I silently reached out with my hand, wrapping my arms around her. We were in this together, Asuna. We could lean on each other. My friend took a deep breath before leaning against me just a little bit. "I'm okay now," she murmured.

"Only a few more minutes before we can go see Nick. And then Kazuto should be waking up soon after, too," I told her.

We finally came out onto the floor where Kazuto and Nick were Diving, and Aki was waiting for us. "Ready?" she asked, leading us down yet another hallway towards a door. "I'm sure he'll be glad to see you."

"We'll be glad to see him, Aki," I told her. I couldn't quite hide the exhaustion in my voice, but it was mostly hidden by the determination.

"Here we are," she said, ushering us into a room. There were two gigantic rectangular objects, nearly reaching the ceiling of the room. They looked incredibly high-tech, though I'm pretty sure that was because of the dark grey metal and silver glow coming from the machine. They must have been powered up when they knew we were coming to use them.

"Soul Translator 7?" Asuna read off of the side of one of the machines. The other one was labeled Soul Translator 8. "So there are five others?"

"Yep," Aki said. "Models 1 and 2 are in our main office in Roppongi. Models 3 and 4 are in the Ocean Turtle, but they're down in the lower shafts. Models 5 through 8 are up here, probably because of a lack of space down there."

I swallowed, inexplicably worried now that I was so close to him. "Can... Can we Dive now? I-I need to see him."

Aki smiled. "Of course."

I'll see you soon, Nick...

...

The next time I opened my eyes, I was... standing in front of gates. I blinked, mildly disoriented for a few seconds, before shaking my head and looking around. This... This had to be the inside of the STL, right? What was the last thing I remembered?

I remember following Aki up the stairs, entering the room the STL was housed in, and then...

Huh. That really was disorienting. I didn't even know I wasn't in the real world until I thought things through. It even felt like the real world, without the strange gravity the virtual world had. I looked up, staring at the sky, then reached out and raised my palm to block the pale sun. What month was it? It felt like it was the middle of winter, so... the time really did flow differently in here, huh. How long has Nick been trapped in here, by himself?

"...Argo?"

I turned to face the familiar voice and felt my lips split into the smirking leer that felt right at home on my face. "Nya hah hah!" I laughed brightly. "Asuna! You look so cute!"

The girl blushed. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Here, let me show you..." I rooted around in my pockets until I found a phone and whipped it out, wrapping my arms around my friend and taking a picture of the two of us.

Ignoring my friend's confused stare, I brought up the image and held my phone in front of her. "Ah?" Asuna asked, blinking in confusion. "That's... us?"

"Sure is!" I said, taking in our appearances. Something weird was going on, because we were both 14 again. Asuna looked like she did back in Aincrad, with just a hint more roundness to her face than she had in the real world. She was wearing her regular white and red colors, a stylish red jacket over a cute blouse. She was still just as pretty as ever, only this time her appeal was more on the cute side instead of beautiful.

As for me...

...I looked exactly the same as in real life. I had my whiskers painted on my cheeks, for whatever reason, and a cute little cat-eared cap on my head. I was wearing a sweater that matched the hat, a comfortable golden dealie that looked like cat fur, almost. Underneath, I was clearly wearing some sort of emerald tank top, a ribbon resting on my left shoulder. A matching coat was tied around my waist, flapping in the slight breeze.

Yeah, this'll do.

I looked at Asuna, and realized her fingers were twitching suspiciously. This wasn't the first time she'd reacted like this... "Oh, go ahead," I sighed. "It's fine."

Asuna squealed and lunged, enveloping me in a hug as she rubbed her cheek against my head. "Your hat has little cat ears!" she cooed. I had to giggle despite the situation; Asuna didn't get overexcited often, but it was always funny when she did. And it was definitely good to hear her laugh and giggle again. Plus, I was enjoying a hug from a cute girl, so there's that too~. "They're so cute!"

Eventually, my friend got her fill and let me go. "So, where's Nick?" Asuna asked, looking around. "Is he..."

"He's here, I can feel it," I said. "Let's just... find him, right?"

The two of us wandered into the school, and right away every eye was on us. Well, it wasn't a surprise, right? Two beautiful girls just sauntering in to the school grounds, of course we're going to attract attention. Now, we just needed someone to take the bait... Asuna looked like she was about to approach someone, but I lightly placed a hand on her arm. If we talked to the wrong person, we risked upsetting the delicate social dynamics at work. Seriously, she went to an all-girls school before SAO happened, she should know this. Better just wait and -

"Can I help you, ladies?"

Ah, that's perfect. "Sure!" I said, turning to face the speaker. It was some guy with a really weird haircut, giving us both his best attempt at a winning smile. "We're looking for Nick Weyr?" Knowing Nick, he's somehow managed to make a name for himself despite his best attempts.

And by the way his smile went rigid, I knew I'd hit the mark. "Oh," he said, and I could see that it all but physically hurt him to answer my question. Geez, what'd my idiot _do_? "You're looking for the E Class building, then. It's... up that hill."

"Thanks!" I said, giving him a cheery wave. "Let's go, Asuna."

Heh heh heh. This was a good way to burn off some stress.

"I'm just wondering," Asuna said as the two of us made the - holy crap _how_ _tall is this mountain_?! We'd been climbing for five minutes! "Why do you look the exact same? I mean... you're even the same height."

"Because I haven't grown since I turned 14, okay?" I muttered. "I hit my growth spurt early and then never grew ever again. It was amazing in middle school, and then once the other girls started catching up it very quickly became less so."

Asuna giggled. "I wondered about that."

"I'm more interested in the whiskers," I said, absently tracing the lines on my cheek. "Nick said this is our soul, right? So... that means in my soul, my image of myself is..."

"Completely adorable?" Asuna asked, and I definitely didn't pout at her.

"Mean," I frowned.

When we _finally_ reached the top of the mountain, we stared at the sight and then looked at each other. "That's a school building?" Asuna muttered in horror. "It looks..."

I nodded. "It looks like it's going to give me splinters just looking at it," I said. "Huh. Well, let's go find Nick, right?"

"Right."

* * *

I don't remember crossing the distance between where I was standing and the doorway. I just know that before I turned, I was standing near Ritsu's terminal, talking out loud, and then I heard that sentence.

I remember my words stopped mid-syllable in a choking sound. My eyes widened and I almost hurt myself with how quickly my neck snapped around to the source of the voice. And then the next thing I knew, I was in front of the doorway, staring. "Asuna... Kana...?" I breathed, ignoring the sudden exclamations of shock behind me. "Am... Am I hallucinating? Did I finally lose it?"

Kana looked like she always did, except she had her whiskers painted on her cheeks. Asuna looked just like she did back in Aincrad. Both of them were wearing casual clothes, the kind of thing they'd normally wear when out and about.

But... why were they _here_?

"No, Nick," Kana said gently, reaching out and brushing her fingers over my face. I stood still, terrified to lean into her touch and find out this was just another nightmare. "I'm here. I found ya."

RATH? I guess it would make sense that sooner or later the Johnny Black Contingency would go off and tell them where I was and _why do I care Kana is here I don't give a rat's ass how it happened, it happened._

I finally wrapped my girlfriend in a hug, taking refuge in her familiar embrace. This wasn't a nightmare, she was real. "You're here," I whispered. "You're here."

"I'm here," she said, pulling back just enough to press her forehead against mine.

I guess it was only natural that she kissed me.

Her eyes went wide after a few seconds and she pulled back, panting. "You... tongue," she said numbly. "How?"

I chuckled, but even to me it sounded a bit choked. My eyes were burning suspiciously. "I learned a few things in school," I said.

"Uh, Nick," Kataoka said behind me. I glanced over my shoulder to see her standing there, looking at me a bit awkwardly. "Not to interrupt... whatever this is, but who are these girls?"

I blinked, turning away for a second to wipe at my eyes, and then grinned at E Class. "Ah, sorry," I said, standing to the side and letting Asuna and Kana enter the room properly. "This is Kana Izawa, my girlfriend."

"Hi!" Kana chirped, waving. ...Wait, why is _she_ still the same as before? ... _Oh!_ Heh, that's kinda funny.

"And this is Asuna Yuuki. One of my best friends, and practically my sister." She was more than a best friend. Best friends _leave_. Asuna… Asuna, Shino, Sugu, everyone – they've _stayed._ But E Class wouldn't understand the difference between a best friend and what Asuna was to me. I didn't have the words to describe it.

Asuna bowed politely to the class as I introduced her.

"You two, these are the members of E Class minus two," I said to Asuna and Kana, waving at E Class. "I, uh... am probably not going to be able to do individual introductions, since there's a lot of the jerks. But, uh, notables are Kataoka and Isogai," I pointed at the two, "they're the class reps here. The one with green hair that's as tall as Kana and built like Keiko, that's Kayano."

Kayano wrinkled her nose. "I... I feel like I should be upset, but I'm not sure why," she said.

"Don't worry about it," I said without missing a beat, while Kana and Asuna smiled at each other for some reason. "And the computer over there is Ritsu, she's a classmate too. AI," I added as a quiet aside while Ritsu appeared on-screen and waved.

Asuna and Kana blinked and nodded in understanding. "Where's the teacher?" Asuna asked while Kana looked out at the class with interest.

"He's over aaaaand my teacher disappeared, why am I not surprised," I sighed, fully intending to tell them he's over at Ritsu's computer only to see empty air where Korosensei had been kneeling. "Well, if you stay long enough you might run into him." Looking at Kataoka, I asked her, "Is it okay if I go out back? I... have to catch up with Kana and Asuna."

Kataoka hesitated, and then nodded. "Of course. Just remember what we do here."

"Yeah, yeah," I said with a wave. "Got it." These two were trustworthy, of course, Not only had they proven it over and over again, they were in the same boat as me.

...And as much as I didn't want to think about it, I knew Kana and Asuna would leave, probably after today. There would be no way for them to divulge classified information when they were functionally in a different universe.

"It was nice meeting you," Kana said to the class with a wave as I led them out of the main classroom and out back.

With a sigh, I sat down at the top of the grassy hill. Kana curled up beside me, leaning against me. Asuna sat on my left, close enough that I could feel her presence and reach out with my hand to touch hers to make sure she was actually there - or maybe vice versa - but not cuddling with me.

"I was so scared," Kana finally said after a few minutes of silently enjoying each other's company. "You were in a coma, and then you disappeared, and I didn't know where you _were_."

I gently rubbed her shoulder. "I know," I said. "And I'm sorry. I never meant to worry you, but there was only so much I could do." I leaned against her, resting my cheek on her head. "I'm just glad you're here, both of you."

Kana hummed in contentment. "I am too, Nick. An' there's nothing for ya to be sorry for."

Asuna smiled at me. "Your classmates seemed nice."

I grinned. "They're not terrible," I said. "They're... friends." Not family. Never family. Those spots in my heart were taken.

"Friends?" Kana gasped playfully. "You?"

I rolled my eyes. "Don't act so surprised," I said. "When we're all trying to kill our teacher, well, that sort of thing happens."

"...Um," Asuna and Kana said flatly. Nice sync.

Right, right, yeah, should probably have led into that a bit more gracefully, huh? "Let me back up a few steps and then that comment will make sense," I said. "This classroom? We're assassins. Our target is our teacher. Hey, Korosensei!"

No response. Asuna looked at me like I was crazy.

I frowned. "I know you're there," I snapped. "Writing in that gossip book of yours. C'mon, show yourself, Kana and Asuna can be trusted. I've trusted them with my life several times."

With a blast of wind, Korosensei appeared behind us. Asuna and Kana both yelped with surprise. I noticed that Asuna's hand dropped to her waist, where she kept her rapier belted in Alfheim, but my hand on her wrist stopped her instinctive movement. I know that Korosensei wouldn't have missed it, but he at least didn't comment.

"This is Korosensei," I told the girls as they stared at the bright yellow octopus. "A super-creature made totally out of anti-matter." I pointed up at the sky. "See the crescent moon? That's, uh, literally all that's left of the moon after a mouse with tentacles exploded up there. And in about two months, that's what'll happen to Korosensei." I gazed steadily at Korosensei as he looked at me. I think I sensed approval in his eyes. "We're searching for a way to save him, but if we don't, the only way to save the Earth is to kill him."

Kana looked at me, and then stood up and bowed to Korosensei. "Hello, sir," she said politely. "Thank you for taking care of my idiot boyfriend. I hope he hasn't been too much trouble."

"Kana!" I protested.

Korosensei's grin widened. "Oh, not at all," he said to her. "Nick has been _quite_ the excellent student. I take it you three go back quite some time, then?"

"Three… mm, four years," I said, deciding to round up. It was a little weird, since our time streams weren't synced up quite right. "I'd... rather not go into details, if you don't mind."

"Of course not," Korosensei said gently. "Well, I'm going to check in on the rest of the class. Don't get _too_ frisky now, Nick. Nue-heh-heh-heh!" he laughed before taking off. I just snorted.

"Fast," Asuna breathed.

"Faster than even the legendary Lightning Flash," I snarked, earning a playful smack on the arm from the girl. "But yeah, we've been trying all year, and haven't come _close_ to killing him. That's what happens when your target moves at Mach 20."

Kana grinned at me. "Still, I'm surprised you haven't found some loophole to win."

I sighed. "He's like a super-boss, Kana. And with only 30 people? Cut me _some_ slack. I'm only human, after all."

Both girls regarded me for a moment, before Kana said softly, "You've changed a little bit, Nick."

Have I? "Well, it _has_ been almost a year in my time."

Kana smiled and shook her head. "I don't know. Maybe I'm just imagining it. Either way..." she bumped her forehead against mine, and we both smiled. "Either way you're mine and I love you."

"Love you," I repeated.

Murmuring something about giving us privacy, Asuna got up and went inside. Meanwhile, Kana and I just sat there, watching the clouds. I was going to say something, but then a yawn suddenly ambushed me and I stretched luxuriously. "Aaaaaahn... I, uh... Sorry," I said, pulling off my glasses and rubbing at my itchy eyes sleepily. "Mnnn… I haven't been sleeping well, I think."

"It's okay, Nick," Kana said, smiling at me. "I know how you're feeling. I didn't get much sleep for the first few days after you... I don't want to say disappeared, but..."

I winced. "Sorry."

She flicked my forehead. "Stop apologizing, I already forgave you, idiot."

"Heh."

Kana shook her head fondly before shifting her position and smoothing out her lap. "Alright, lie down."

I raised an eyebrow. "Eh?"

"You're tired, right? And it's not like you were doing anything important, remember?" she said. "So, you might as well take a nap. You can rest on my lap for a bit."

I really shouldn't... but she _did_ make sense. It wasn't like I could do anything until Nagisa and Karma got back, anyway, so... Shrugging, I rolled over and laid my head down on Kana's lap, letting her wriggle around until she was comfortable before committing fully. "Mmm..." I mumbled as all of the tension I never knew I was carrying around suddenly drained, leaving me with nothing but my exhaustion.

"Nice?"

"Mmhm," I mumbled. "Hey, Kana?"

"Yeah, Nick?" Her hand was brushing my hair out of my face. It felt nice...

"You... have an accent, right?" I asked. This was something important I needed to address, even though I was so tired I just wanted to fall asleep. "I've heard it slip out a few times... and back at the beginning, I remember it..."

"...Yeah," Kana said, looking past me. "I do."

I blinked up at her blearily, absently tracing the whiskers on her face with a hand. She felt nice. "Why do you hide it?"

She sighed, patting my hand. "I started hiding it in Aincrad," she admitted. "I never used to care about how people heard me. And then..." She flushed, looking away. "Well, you'd mentioned that it bugged you when you couldn't understand people. And once I started falling for you, I just kinda... y'know. Practiced until it was natural."

Oh... so it was my fault?

"No no no," she said hurriedly. "It's not your fault at all." I blinked. Had I said that out loud? "It's fine, really. It's a good thing I keep my accent hidden, it keeps -"

"You shouldn't have to."

Kana paused. "Eh?"

"You shouldn't have to hide it," I said. My exhaustion was making me chatty. "I love everything about you, and that includes how you sound naturally."

Kana looked at me, then finally giggled. "Go ta sleep, Nick," she said. "Ya idiot, makin' me worry about ya."

I smiled. "See? Much better..." I mumbled. "Much...better..."

...

When I woke up again, I felt refreshed for the first time in, well, my existence in this world.

I was still resting on someone's lap, but the someone in question had changed. "Good afternoon, Nick," Asuna said, smiling down at me, lightly running her fingers through my hair. "Did you sleep well?"

I didn't really _want_ to move, but I sat up and yawned, stretching and popping my shoulders and back. "Yeah," I said. "Pretty well, actually. I feel awake now for the first time in a while."

"You worried us, Nick," she said, and I turned to meet her eyes. "All of us."

I sighed, my lips a thin line, and reached out to rest a hand on her head, stroking her hair gently. "I'm right here, little sister," I said. "You don't have to worry about me leaving, okay? I promised."

Asuna smiled, but it was fragile. "I'm going to hold you to that, okay?" she said quietly.

"Yeah, yeah, fine," I said. After a second longer, I shifted back and the air between us felt natural again. "So, where'd Kana go?"

"To gossip with your classmates," Asuna told me. Aw, crap, that might suck. "I talked with them a bit earlier, and they're all very fond of you. But, what's this I hear about you crossdressing to get into a club?"

Heh. Of course they'd share that story with her... "Well, we were busy trying to get to the top of a hotel... Think of it like a dungeon climb, really, only it was also kinda a stealth mission..."

"...And so I ended up acting as Nagisa's guard," I said as Asuna and I rejoined the class. A quick glance located all the members of E Class; most of them were clustered around Kana, though a few were standing by Ritsu and watching the video feed from space. Naturally, my girlfriend was having the time of her life. "He and Karma aren't here right now, they're busy in space, but if you stick around for a bit longer..."

I shook my head, cutting myself off before I could ask her to do something ridiculous. I didn't know when the two would be back; it could be today, it could be tomorrow, it could be a week from now. "No, I won't get greedy," I said. "It _was_ wonderful to see you both. Did Kikuoka give you trouble?"

"Hmph," Asuna said, shaking her head. "That man... I still don't trust him, but he seems to be helping you and Kirito."

"He does his job," I shrugged. "Kana, are you finished gossiping yet?"

My girlfriend turned and waved me over, and I joined the cluster of E Class students. "Dude!" Maehara said, grabbing me and wrapping his arm around my neck. "You didn't tell us your girlfriend was so cute!"

"True, true," Kana said with a wide grin, and I rolled my eyes.

"Just don't make a deal with her," I said drily. "Even if you know what you're doing, she'll take you for everything you own and laugh about it all the way to the bank. Kinda like one of the Fair Folk, except prettier and nastier."

"True, true," she said, her grin not budging in the slightest.

"This isn't fair!" Okajima wailed, tears streaming from his eyes. "Someone like you's found true love, and yet I'm -"

"Hey," I growled sourly. Someone like _me_? "Asshole. I'm right here."

Yada leaned forward and said, "Hey, hey, Miss Izawa, what's it like dating Nick? Is he super charming, and always taking you out to dinner and paying for you?"

"I wouldn't say he's charming," Kana grinned. "An' going out to dinner's expensive." The sly grin tipped me off. They'd already gossiped thoroughly about our love life, this was just to make _me_ feel like a jerk for not doting on my girlfriend more. I knew I recognized that grin somewhere, I saw it every time Kana tried to fluster me. "But he loves me deep down, so I don't mind!"

I raised an eyebrow. "I vaguely remember mentioning my love for you was based on whether or not you stopped drinking coffee."

Kana waved a hand airily. "Ya wouldn't give this up for anythin', Nick, don't kid yerself."

"I'm seriously reconsidering."

Instead of getting irritated, Kana just giggled and threw her arms around my neck, nuzzling our cheeks together. I'm not sure how, but the whiskers painted on her cheek actually tickled a little bit. "Love ya," she said with a smile.

"Are they always like this?" Okano asked Asuna. "Is this how they flirt?"

Asuna sighed. "They're worse right now because it's been a while since they were able to talk, but yes. To both questions."

"Like you and Kazuto are any better," I shot back. "Nothing but lovey-dovey fluff, all day every day. I swear I can see sparkles around you two whenever you're being adorable together. Feels like it's always springtime."

"Hey!" my sister protested, blushing fiercely. Ahah, she can dish it out, but Asuna can't take it!

Gods, I missed them all.

In the corner, Ritsu let out a little chime. "I've confirmed the copy of the data," she said. "Nagisa and Karma have successfully retrieved it! They'll be coming home soon."

I glanced over at her and nodded once. "Thanks, Ritsu," I said.

"No problem!"

As Kana and I spent time together - she claimed she needed to recharge her batteries and so claimed my lap as her seat basically the entire time I was sitting down, not that I was complaining - something was spinning in my brain. After a while, I finally came to a decision. "Kana, Asuna? Could I speak with you for a second?"

Asuna nodded at me before gently breaking away from the conversation she'd been having with Kanzaki - something about hair, I think? Maybe gaming? Not sure, exactly - and coming over to me. I made a few gestures to the rest of E Class asking for privacy, and they obliged, going over to watch the ongoing space adventures of Nagisa and Karma. Like regular Nagisa and Karma adventures, but in SPACE!

"What's up, Nick?" Kana asked me. "'Sides from yer classmates."

"Cute," I sighed. "No, I... need to ask you two to do me a favor."

"What is it?" Asuna asked.

I took a deep breath, and then asked her, "Where's Kazuto? He's not here, and I'm assuming he hasn't woken up yet, so that means... Underworld, right?" A slow nod - and Asuna's distant gaze, full of longing - told me I was right. "In that case... I need you to ask Kikuoka to send me to the Underworld, once I'm about to wake up.

Kana, in my arms, went still, pressing against my stomach. "So you won't wake up right away?" she asked.

I shook my head and pressed a kiss to the back of her neck. "I'm sorry," I said softly. "But I want to help Kazuto, too. He's my brother."

Kana and Asuna looked at each other, before my girlfriend finally sighed. "Well, not like we're goin' anywhere for a few days," she said. "I'll let the Agent know what ya asked, see if he bites. Sound good?"

"Sounds perfect."

She sighed. "Shoulda known. Ya never could let one of us get in trouble without tryin' ta help, could ya?" She giggled, and then sighed again. "Just another thing I love about ya, I guess."

"Thank you for being understanding," I said.

"Just make it up ta me later, 'kay?"

"I'll do my best," I chuckled.

A sudden burst of laughter from the class caught my attention and I leaned over. "What happened?" I called out.

"Karma just told them the 'bomb' was filled with sweet bean jelly," Maehara said. "Their faces were priceless." I smiled. I'd have to check the recordings later.

Of _course_ we wouldn't be stupid enough to bring a real bomb onto a space station. That would just be _asking_ for trouble. Plus, it gave the astronauts an excuse for giving in to the hijackers.

Ritsu gave us periodic updates as our space astronauts came back home, but most of her processing power was devoted towards keeping track of the rocket, just in case, so we didn't really have much time to talk. I didn't mind; it gave me more time to spend with Kana and Asuna, just drinking in their presence. Just holding Kana in my arms gave me peace of mind.

Before long, we could see the return shuttle and its trio of parachutes in the sky. "Let's go," I said to Kana and Asuna as E Class hurried out to the pool, where we'd aimed the pod. "You should probably meet the rest of E Class."

Kana giggled as we went. I deliberately took the slow route so she and Asuna could keep up, glancing ahead as I saw a few E Class members taking the trees.

Eventually, we were all waiting around the pool as the shuttle got bigger and bigger. "Yeah!" Sugino cheered. "They made it! They're back home!"

"Woo hoo!"

"Keep going! Almost there!"

The class cheered the shuttle - which, uh, I guess? Sure? Not like we'd have any effect on it.

With a loud splash, the capsule hit the water, sending up a spray of steam. "Hooray!" the class cheered. "They did it!"

Beside me, Kana squeezed my hand. "You're smilin', Nick," she said.

I blinked, and realized it was true. How long had it been since I'd actually felt... happy? "Because you're here," I replied simply. "Both of you." Kana grinned at me. On my other side, Asuna placed a hand on my shoulder.

Off to the side, Korosensei landed, wiping his brow and panting. I smelled cooked octopus. Behind him, Karasuma emerged from the brush. "Ministry of Defense Agent," I whispered to Kana and Asuna, pointing him out to them. "He had _no_ _idea_ we went to space." Kana giggled.

"What in the name of God did you do?!" Karasuma snapped. Looking at his face, yeah, he was _real_ pissed. Korosensei shrieked in fear and surprise. "I can't begin to _conceive_ of how much damage -"

"Guh, I, uh," Korosensei flailed, before recovering. "This won't reflect on you," he said. "I coerced the students into going. No one else knew of my plan! You two have plausible deniability." I nudged Kana, and she pouted at me briefly. "At any rate, we have a lovely bonus to show for it. Human pilots yield much better data than test dummies. This will push the space program forward by at least a _decade!_ Oh, and did I mention? Ritsu discovered a more efficient trajectory than previously known." Korosensei held up a data tablet. "Additionally, I've added a report regarding the issues you almost had with the parachute's structure, and how to solve them. I give this to you in good faith," he said, giggling smugly. "No hard feelings."

Karasuma scowled at him, before snatching the tablet from his hand. "You're unbelievable," he said.

Professor Bitch glanced over and noticed me watching. "So, Nick," she said, approaching me, "who are these two? Don't think I've seen them around before."

"My girlfriend, and my best friend slash sister," I said, nodding to each in turn. "They're visiting for the day. It kinda caught me by surprise too, but... hey." I shrugged as Asuna waved and Kana hugged me, grinning smugly. "Worth it."

"Are you sure they should be here?" Professor Bitch asked me, raising an eyebrow.

I shrugged. "They know what we do here," I said easily. Professor Bitch studied me for a second, before nodding once.

Down below, Nagisa and Karma had emerged from the shuttle, and I wandered over. "Hey, Nick," Karma said. "Next time, you're going to space."

"Sure, whatever," I shrugged.

Nagisa waved cheerfully to Kana and Asuna as I introduced them. "Is that a boy or a girl?" Kana asked me quietly.

"Boy," I whispered back. "And don't make comments on his hair, okay? It's a sensitive subject."

"Gotcha."

"Hey, the girlfriend is real," Karma drawled. "I thought you were just making her up."

I snarled at Karma and informed him, in language that would make the sailors at RATH nod approvingly, exactly where he could take his opinion and what he should do with it when he got there.

In the end, while Karma and Nagisa moved the data from their personal tablets to Ritsu's main box, Kana and Asuna said their goodbyes to me at the front of the school. "I really wish you could stay," I sighed. Gods, how I wanted to ask them to stay. If I had even Kana by my side, I could do anything. "But... I know you can't."

Kana smiled. "I know," she said. "Just a little longer, 'kay? Then yer comin' back home if I have ta drag ya back myself."

"I love you," I said to both of them, meaning it to both, even if in different ways. I gave both girls a tight hug, trying to memorize how it felt to feel their warmth, before reluctantly separating and heading back to the classroom. Already I missed them, even though they were right behind me. Every shred of my body wanted to just turn around and run back to Kana and Asuna, wrap my arms around them, and never let them go.

But... I'd lasted this long. I could last a little longer.

Letting out a deep breath, I joined the others at Ritsu's terminal. "What're we lookin' at?" I asked.

"This stuff might as well be in Greek," Maehara groaned, rubbing at his forehead. "It's full of technical jargon."

I shrugged. "Lemme take a look." I'd seen a few technical documents working at RATH, so I might be able to understand some of the gist behind the paper.

It took a few seconds to switch into reading English. It wasn't as smooth as switching the language I was speaking or hearing, but after a second the letters clicked in my brain and started making sense as words. "Inversely proportional to its 'size'... likelihood of exploding, medicine indicated below..."

I licked my lips. "Essentially, the team on the space station was doing experiments to find ways to prevent Korosensei's anti-matter cell cycle from running out of control. They planted tentacles in a couple different life forms, put them in life-support capsules, and then launched them into space to watch the exact second when they went boom. Since space is a vacuum, there wasn't any matter to fuel the chain reaction, unlike the moon.

Their findings were, that the risk of explosion of a creature with tentacles," I said, reading off the screen, "was inversely proportional to its size. In layman's terms, bigger things are more stable, with the smallest organisms carrying the greatest risk. The super-being, Korosensei, had a human base - so while a mouse had a pretty good chance of turning into a bomb, especially with its cells forced to propagate the way they were, a human base has a way lower probability of exploding than previously thought."

"So, in other words…" Kataoka said.

I blinked. "Hang on, there's more... 'If the drug indicated below is administered and a silicon compound is used to stimulate the flow of blood, this has been established to reduce the risk of losing control even further.'" I squinted, trying to make sense of the chemical compound images, before giving up. Okuda'd be able to do it. "So by releasing tension, we can lower the chance of going critical further."

"Tension?" Isogai and Maehara asked simultaneously.

I glanced at the research, and sighed in relief. "Oh good, they did the math for me, I don't have to do it in my head," I said. "When all the conditions are met, the probability of the super-creature's explosion will be less than one percent, even if initially high." I heard muttering run through the class at my blasé delivery. "Theoretically, the lifespan of the other cells will end before an explosion occurs, and the super-creature will evaporate peacefully within ninety years. Huh. Cool."

"So, this drug they're talkin' about, can we make it or what?" Terasaka asked me, pointing at the screen.

I just shrugged. "Okuda's the person to ask here, not me. She specializes in chemistry."

The girl pushed her way to the front of the crowd and peered at the formulas on screen, adjusting her glasses. "Yes, it's very simple," she said finally. "As a matter of fact... the compound I made a while ago is almost identical in structure!"

What.

"Seriously?!" the class shrieked.

No seriously, what.

This questline plot progression is so _stupid_!

Fuwa shook her head. "So what, the key to solving this has been right in front of us all along?"

"But are we sure?" Muramatsu asked. "It just seems a little too easy, is all."

I agree with Muramatsu. When something's too good to be true, it usually isn't.

"Easy?"

We all turned to look at Kayano. "I don't think I'd call the road we've been on 'easy'." The green-haired girl was holding what looked like Karma's jacket in her arms.

"Kayano..." Nagisa said.

"My sister gave her life to help Korosensei," she said. "To keep him from going rogue. And he chose to follow in her footsteps, risking his neck just to give us a chance in the world. If we hadn't put our own lives on the line, how far could we go? Would we have found the drug? And more importantly, would we have grown into a class that could travel into space?"

"Look at it this way!" Sugino said brightly. "Less than one percent is practically zero!"

That's not how probability works.

But... I'll let it slide, this time. "Even if we don't kill him!" Sugino shouted as the class celebrated. "We can still keep the Earth from blowing up!"

"Ah... Wait a minute," Isogai said suddenly, lowering his arms. "What about the assassination?"

"Huh?" the class asked.

I rolled my eyes. "Buzzkill," I muttered under my breath, earning a nudge from Yada.

"We've been working on it as a class since first term," he said. "Are we calling it off? Is that what we've decided?"

The class seemed a little torn as people on both sides of the Kill and Save team fell silent. "...I want to remind you," Karasuma said from the front of the room, "however minute the possibility might be, the government's not going to cancel its plans. Not as long as a creature like him is running loose."

"Nagisa," Terasaka said as the class turned to face him. "This was your idea. What do you want to do?"

Nagisa stared into the distance thoughtfully, before finally saying, "Karma, Nakamura, Nick... Chiba, Hayami, and everyone on the Kill team. I want to be respectful of the whole class, especially since we've made it this far."

...

We talked it out. Our decision... If we couldn't kill Korosensei by the March deadline, we'd stop being assassins-in-training and opt for a more traditional student-teacher dynamic. But until then, we'd keep trying our hardest to kill Korosensei. In the end, it was still our mission. And, as Nagisa put it, 'Assassination wasn't just the bond we shared with Korosensei. It was the bond we shared with each other.'

Disgustingly sentimental claptrap aside, I wasn't going to give up on my job halfway through. I see things through to the end.

"Stand!" Nakamura said as we pulled our guns.

"Fire!" she barked as Korosensei began taking attendance. A hail of bullets started striking the blackboard, Korosensei effortlessly dodging the gunfire.

From the curtains, Nagisa emerged, having eliminated his presence entirely until the last second. Korosensei managed to avoid his blade too, but it was a lot closer than before.

The class kept firing as the close-quarters team approached, knives at the ready. I launched myself in the air, knife aiming for Korosensei's limbs to reduce his mobility.

Whatever happens, as long as I keep my blade aimed at my target, I'll be able to accept it.

* * *

 **Just your friendly reminder that «This is speaking in English», as opposed to "speaking in Japanese".**

 **Hooray! They went to space! And Nick got to see Kana again! Yaaaay. Honestly, I've been sitting on the Kana and Nick meeting for... several months, now. I wanted their conversations to showcase how much Nick has grown as a part of E Class, and I'm hoping it did. Beyond that, E Class got to see exactly how Nick acted around people he genuinely loves** **.**

 **And I think this is a good place to have the reunion; better than being the focus of the chapter entirely. Because while Nick loves Kana dearly, and while he loves Asuna (as a sister, he wouldn't do that to kazuto without kazuto's knowledge and permission), it's not the all-consuming blinding love that it has been in the past. Yes, he still trusts her unconditionally, but it's a little healthier, now.**

 **(lucky bastard)**

 **I never had Nick going to space in any of my drafts of this story, since I wanted him to meet with Kana and Asuna at the time, but part of me really wanted to send him. Oh well, there's always the real world, if he wants to go to space.**

 **Anyway, the biggest focus of this chapter** _ **was**_ **on Kana and Nick's reunion, but don't ignore the first half of the chapter. Nick is actually** _ **stupidly good**_ **at being overwatch for the others, since he has a good grasp of their capabilities. Plus, he's used to tracking mobs and movement patterns, so keeping track of the security guards was easy enough. Add in that he never panics in most cases, and you've got someone in your ear that can guide you through anything.**

 **Many thanks to everyone that favorited, followed, or reviewed.**

* * *

 **Canon Omake: Romance Time**

"Wow," Maehara murmured after Nick slid the door shut, heading out back with his girlfriend and the other girl. "I can't believe that was actually Nick. Dude acted totally different."

"I know, right?" Fuwa said. "He was so gentle with her! I've never seen him like that before. It's like he was a totally different person."

Kataoka smiled faintly. "Don't let him hear you say that," she warned.

"I think it's cute he can be so lovey-dovey," Yada said. "He just doesn't treat us like that because we're not those two. He must have really missed them."

Terasaka snorted. "Great, so he treats the rest of us like crap because we're his pawns or something, huh?"

Yada started to protest, before falling silent. 'Yeah, that sounds right,' the class all thought together.

 **The 180-degree about-face of Nick's personality the instant Kana and Asuna showed up threw E Class off a little bit.**

* * *

 **Canon Omake: Emotion Time**

He was the first person to really _speak_ to her. He was the first person to offer her advice, instead of just getting mad she followed her programming. For some reason, he didn't even care that she was an AI, he treated her exactly like everyone else in E Class.

He was her best friend. She knew that the reverse wasn't true, but she didn't mind all that much.

She knew he had a girlfriend; it came up every now and then, when he'd been rambling on about the town he'd left behind to come to school in Kunugigaoka. She knew that he had several close friends, whom he considered family. The concept of the familial bond being applied to unrelated individuals was strange to her, and something she'd needed to add to her processing, but she could see that the depth of emotion was clearly there.

They'd been talking for a while, and Ritsu thought she'd learned everything there was to know about Nick.

When those two girls showed up – Kana, the smaller one, and Asuna, the beautiful one with long hair – she realized that she'd never seen him truly smile. Every time he grinned at her, every time his lips curled up in a smirk, she'd thought he'd been smiling. The sight of the pure joy and contentment in his eyes while holding his girlfriend in his arms? That had proven her wrong.

As Ritsu watched Nick and Kana converse quietly, Ritsu realized something. When she processed Nick's appearance, when she processed how he laughed at something Kana said, before gently nudging Asuna and resting easily against her shoulder, looking like he fit next to her so perfectly, a small pseudo-pain ran through her chest.

Ah… The mission in space, listening in on Nagisa and Karma's conversations, monitoring all the equipment… It had made her intelligence evolve even further than before. While talking with Nagisa and Karma in the shuttle, she'd consciously processed her very first emotion – happiness. She felt happy that she got to come to E Class.

This must be her second emotion. …Well, really her third, since happiness had actually been her _second_ ; she hadn't realized she'd processed the first.

Ritsu smiled wistfully as she watched her best friend and first crush smile happily, sitting next to his girlfriend and his sister.

She didn't like heartbreak as much as she liked happiness, she decided.

 **Poor Ritsu. She's a good kid, though.**


	18. Valentine Day's Time

**Chapter 18: Valentine Day's Time**

 **(38 Days)**

* * *

"Meeeerry Christmas!" Korosensei announced, standing at the front of the classroom.

Dressed in a Santa outfit and holding a glass of champagne, and with the blackboard decorated with festive cheer, it almost felt like the holidays.

"Merry Christmas," E Class called back. Most of us were holding poppers, aimed at Korosensei, while some held guns; _all_ of us were wearing Santa costumes of our own, though the girls' outfits were a bit more, ah, revealing. Poor Okuda wouldn't stop blushing.

We pulled the poppers and unleashed the hail of bullets, though naturally Korosensei was able to dodge the gunfire effortlessly. "What a magical Christmas Eve!" he said, drinking from his champagne glass and eating a turkey leg. "And in February, no less! How festive!"

See, I've heard of Christmas in July, but this is ridiculous.

Suddenly, the lights all went out, and we felt the wind of Korosensei's passing. "Nue-heh-heh-heh," Korosensei laughed as the lights turned back on. "Happy New Year! Out with the old, and in with the new!"

He'd gotten changed into a simple black yukata, holding various New Years things in his hands. I looked down at myself and shook my head; while the lights were off, Korosensei had changed our clothes. I was wearing a simple yukata of my own - ooh, I like it, I might actually hang on to this, since the black and grey color scheme is extremely something I like - like the rest of the boys in the class. The girls, on the other hand, were wearing ornate kimonos with flower patterns. Everyone was busy cooing over their new outfit.

I caught Hara slurping at a bowl of noodles and sighed with a chuckle. Naturally.

"That's right, boys and girls," Korosensei said cheerfully. "Throw yourself into study, and of course assassination, with renewed vigor! Now..."

Suddenly, he was lying on the ground, staring at a tiny portable TV while sleeping under a kotatsu. A peeled orange was sitting on the table, totally ignored. Blinking as the class muttered, "Where's he going with all this?" I swung by the table and grabbed an orange of my own.

"Oh, I think I'm starting to get the picture," Fuwa said. I glanced at her, but quickly returned my attention to peeling the orange. Delicious citrus treats are calling to me. "You're trying to cram all the good times you missed out on over the winter break into February, is that what this is?"

"Precisely!" Korosensei sniffed. "Our only winter break together and not one of you came to visit. Of course, I knew you were worried about me and trying your hardest to find a solution, which was why it didn't seem proper to invite anyone over, but still..." He trailed off into sobbing, pulling tissues out of the box and blowing his 'nose'.

"Seems kinda weird to be all bummed out about it now, don't you think, sir?" Yoshida said, leaning on the teacher's podium. Kayano was watching our teacher's antics with a small smile.

Korosensei leapt to his feet - er, tentacles - and declared, "Water under the bridge as far as I'm concerned! We'll simply reclaim the time we lost by having all the fun at once!"

Hooray. I get to have excessive amounts of fun. _Feel_ the joy present in my mind. Pay no heed to the look of despair on my face, that's just because the joy in me was stored in an unsigned integer that overflowed and wrapped back around to exhaustion.

Kayano laughed sheepishly, before accepting the orange slices I offered her. I was going to offer one to Nagisa, but before I could blink Korosensei was whirling around, going Mach speed to dress up in different costumes and act out different activities he'd missed out on.

Seriously, _this_ was his main concern over winter break? Not getting to watch a live countdown for New Years, while we were all racking our brains to figure out how we were going to handle the revelations dropped on us?

Glancing around, I saw the exact same irritation present in every other student's eyes. Even as they stripped off their yukatas and kimonos - Korosensei had just put them on us over our regular uniforms - everyone had the same desire.

We were going to _kill_ Korosensei!

Obnoxiously, that octopus was just ridiculous, though. He put on his own countdown show while we were firing - but nothing hit. A line of Korosensei clones went to visit a fake shrine he created while Chiba and Hayami unloaded into them - but their bullets missed entirely. Maehara and Okuda tried to stab Korosensei as two of his clones ran a marathon - but the clones dashed from the starting line just in time.

"...And that's everything!" Korosensei announced, crossing the last line in his notebook with a pen. "Our memories have finally caught up to the present!"

I'd dropped out of the assassination somewhere around the January... 15th marker, I think. It was just pointless, Korosensei was too fast! We'd been given no time to prepare, so not even a single bullet so much as glanced the octopus.

Though, a lot of stuff _has_ happened over the year. I guess it's okay that even though our relationship with our teacher has changed, some things stay static. He's fast. He's irritating. We can't kill him no matter how much we want to.

Heh. Guess I'm actually having fun after all, huh.

"Like this, there's nothing left to regret from New Years," Korosensei said, re-donning his teaching robes. "We can move onto the next phase with peace of mind."

"...Next?" Nagisa muttered, holding his gun in confusion.

With a flutter of papers, Korosensei displayed... workbooks. "Okay, everyone! Assassination is fun, but don't forget about your entrance exams!"

Everyone just groaned, face falling.

"And suddenly we're brought back to reality..." Yoshida groaned.

"Well, of course!" Korosensei told him. "Exams for private schools are only two weeks away! But don't worry, I've been preparing each of you for the exams at your schools of choice, even over the last month while you were all worrying about me!"

I blinked. "What."

"Also," Korosensei added, "after the results come out, I'll be meeting with each of you again. I'll ask you," he said, holding up the attendance book, "what kind of future you want after you leave E Class."

My tongue flicked out as I licked my lips. My future, huh...

"You have shown me," Korosensei said kindly, "that the probability of my explosion is actually very low. And, you have decided to quit your assassination once you graduate. I have no intention of talking you out of your decision, as your target," he said with a smile. "In fact, I was going to propose the same thing. No matter how the assassination turns out, no matter what the government asks of you, no matter what happens to the planet...

"Your assassination ends when you graduate." The air around me shifted as each member of the class retreated into private thought. "You must lay down your knives and guns," Korosensei continued, "and start to walk the path to your future. Events and festivities aren't the only things that are one-time only," our teacher said. "Whether you kill me or not, you will have to go your separate ways."

My fist cle-

I stared at my hand in confusion. It had barely twitched, even at the thought of needing to say goodbye to my friends. Was it... Was it that these classmates of mine weren't my friends? No, of course not. That was ridiculous to even consider. Then, it's... I smiled wryly.

Of course. It's because I'd accepted that I'd have to leave. After all...

"That," Korosensei said gently, "is just what a classroom is."

...I don't want to leave these people. I don't want to leave my friends. But, I knew I had to do so.

Shaking my head, I started peeling another orange I'd managed to snatch before Korosensei went nuts with the festivities. I offered a slice to Nagisa, but he was staring intently at the side of the blackboard, so I just shrugged and popped it in my mouth. Glancing at the blackboard myself, I sighed. The date, huh?

February. March was coming up pretty quickly, wasn't it? And with it, the deadline to kill Korosensei. Our graduation, and the deadline to assassinate Korosensei, was just 38 days away.

...

"Entrance exams…" Hayami mumbled, staring at the set of entrance exam practice quizzes in her hand. We'd each received a set – except for me. "Hmm… Can't deny we're not prepared for this, considering how much we focused on the assassination…"

"Not to worry, my dear," Korosensei said easily. "Didn't I tell you? I've made sure you are all perfectly prepared. Everyone, please think back to January. You may have noticed that you thought of the entrance exams at random times. That was all my doing! My Mach whispers are so convincing," he said with a smug grin, "they sound like your own voice. Subliminally directing your consciousness to the entrance exams is my specialty."

Hah, silly me, I thought that teaching was your specialty. Or was it assassination?

"Today, you'll be taking special quizzes I've written up, matched to each of your desired schools. You may feel intimidated by the entrance exams," Korosensei said, "but one thing's for sure. They'll be a whole lot easier than killing me!" I shook my head. Korosensei was ridiculous as usual, it seemed. "Now, take up your pens, my young assassins!"

This ultimate teacher is a pain. Still, it does mean I get some time to kick back and read my book.

It was snowing by the time we finished up the practice exams and walked home in different clumps of students. "Future plans, huh?" I heard Maehara say from the group in front of me. "Okay... What high school are you going to?"

Okajima replied, "I was thinking someplace lower-leveled, so I'd have a little elbow room."

Sugaya nodded. "Well, we've definitely got fundamentals down through senior year," the artist said. "High school can be about fine-tuning what Korosensei's taught us."

"That's one way to look at it, sure," Fuwa said. "I don't know about you, but I'm going to push myself."

"It takes a pristine academic record to make it in communications these days," Mimura added, mimicking Korosensei's voice pretty well, actually. "So I'm told, at least..."

"Womp womp," Maehara teased the two. The group of five laughed.

Their laughter floated back to me and the usual group I walked home with as we stood at the crossroads. Some of us would head left to go home, some of us would head right.

"...So, Karma," Nagisa said. "What are your sights set on?"

"Hm..." he said. "I figure I'll just stay at Kunugigaoka."

Okuda and Sugino gasped. "You're gonna subject yourself to the entrance exam, all over again?" the pitcher exclaimed.

"Wow," Kayano said. "Seems kinda low-profile. With your grades, you could get into any school you want."

"Put yourself in the shoes of the kids at the main campus," Karma said mischievously. "The guy they thought was exiled is suddenly back, looming head and shoulders above them all. What could be sweeter than sailing by on an ocean of humiliating faces for three whole years, right?" He stuck out his tongue impishly.

I just laughed. "Typical Karma," I said.

Karma glanced my way. "Hey, this is your fault, Nick," he said lightly. "There are _tons_ of decent schools out there, if all I cared about was my transcript. But none of them boast an opponent able to make for a fun competition? An arch-nemesis worthy of me? I'm inclined to say no."

I rolled my eyes. "So because I won't reveal where I'm going to high school, you're going to make Asano suffer." I shrugged. "Carry on, then, enjoy yourself."

"Oh, I intend to," Karma said. "Broader ambitions can come later. What I want out of life right now is a good academic battle, or three..."

Nagisa turned to me. "I've been wondering, Nick," he said. "Why _haven't_ you told us where you're going? Haven't you decided yet?"

I just grinned. "My life's a little complicated, and I'm not sure I have everything figured out right now," I told them. "Balls in the air, irons in the fire, so on and so forth. I know everything will work out, of course, so I'm just taking things as they come."

"And?" Karma asked, turning to Nagisa. "What's _your_ high school of choice, Nagisa? You picked one?"

"...Mmhm," Nagisa nodded after a second. "Just like Kayano, Sugino, everyone. It's almost time... to part ways," he said.

As we split apart, I walked with Nagisa. "Heading off to see Sakura?" I asked him.

"Huh?" he mumbled after a second. "Oh, yeah," he said belatedly. "Are you coming too? Some of the kids wanted to know where you've been. They really like you, y'know?"

I chuckled. "No accounting for taste, I guess," I sighed. "I'll come with you next time. I've got some stuff I need to take care of for now, though."

"Alright, no worries. See ya!" he said, waving as I turned to pick up a small thing of hot chocolate from the street vendor. I waved back, then purchased the delicious drink.

Sipping from the paper cup and sighing at the warmth spreading through my body, I nursed it as I turned around and headed back up to Kunugigaoka. It was a pain going back up the steps, but I didn't really want anyone to know about what I was going to do.

Fortunately, the long walk did give me time to think on that question Korosensei had asked me a while back. Did I have fun being a programmer? Or was there something else I'd like to apply my skills toward? I'm a talented assassin. I know that. The problem is, that skillset doesn't really lend itself to modern life. Kazuto knows what he wants to do - he wants to be a creator. And Asuna just wanted to be with him, though I'd already lightly chastised the girl and told her to find something she'd enjoy working towards. Shino was planning on being a detective, Kana wanted to write... Where, in all of that, would a killer fit in?

When I reached the campus, I knocked on the staff room door. Korosensei slid it open. "Ah, Nick," he said. "Right on time. What did you want to talk about, my boy?"

I stepped inside, and slid the door shut. "I've been thinking about a few things," I told him. "About where I am, where I'm going, stuff like that. And... I probably won't be going to a high school."

"Eh?" Korosensei asked, glancing at me.

I stared down at the swirling cup of cocoa in my hand. I'd finished the one on the way here, but Korosensei had offered me a second one the instant I sat down. "See," I said, "I've already _finished_ high school.

"There's something I have to tell you, Korosensei. About myself, and about this world."

* * *

I walked away from the campus, putting my headphones in my ears and playing some music. I just... didn't want to think about what I'd just done. It was a huge risk, and my heart was still pounding a little bit. With a quiet snort I shook my head and focused on the rhythm and beat. The upbeat jazz drove out the thoughts and memories, and allowed me to just dive into the music, losing myself to it. Once I was in that state, I didn't have to think or feel, I could just let my feet walk me home.

"...Nick?"

I blinked in surprise, my mind taking a few seconds to register that I'd actually heard Ritsu say my name. Once I paused the music and pulled out my phone, I blinked again. She was looking at me a little gingerly. She's been acting weird ever since... Ever since we sent Karma and Nagisa to space, actually. Did something change while they were up there? "Yeah, what's up, Ritsu?"

She pressed her fingers together, playing with her hands for a few seconds. "I, uh..."

"Is something wrong?"

Ritsu visibly took a deep breath, before she swallowed once. "Is what you said to Korosensei true?"

"Erk." _Fuck._ This is bad. Did I forget to turn my phone off? And Ritsu listened in to the conversation? I knew she had that capability, but most of the time we had our privacy. Did I trip some flag or something? But beyond that, that means she listened to the conversation where _I revealed the reality of this world to Korosensei_. This is bad. This is bad. This is bad bad bad bad -

"It would explain a lot," Ritsu continued. Distantly, I realized that I'd stopped walking down the hill and was just staring at my phone screen. I couldn't tell if I'd gone pale, but I felt shocked. "Like how you live alone, or never talk about where you come from... And why you were so surprised that your girlfriend and friend found you..."

Okay, okay, deep breaths, Nick. This is salvageable. Probably. I think. Put aside the fact that your friend has found out that you're functionally from a different plane of existence. "What did you hear, Ritsu?" I asked, my voice strangely calm with only a small undercurrent of surprise and caution. Hopefully Ritsu didn't hear too much of my conversation with Korosensei...

"Everything." Well, that's not good. "It is true, isn't it? It explains so much..."

My mind flickered through a few different scenarios, before I let out a small sigh. Every choice I had led to the same place sooner or later, so might as well just tell the truth. "It's true," I admitted quietly, staring levelly at Ritsu. A small gasp escaped her. "All of it. My age, where I'm from, what this world _is_. I'm sorry you had to learn this way. If I could, I wouldn't have told you. It's not something that I wanted to spread."

Ritsu hung her head, her pink twintails drooping. "Then... after we graduate... you're going to leave?"

"Yeah. I have... I have to go help my brother," I said. "I don't know where he is or what he's doing, but..."

My AI classmate's lips twisted faintly at my helpless shrug. "But he's someone you care about," she said, and I could only nod. "I understand..."

She fell silent, disappearing from my screen, and I finally started walking down the hill again. I knew it was a lot to process, especially the part where their consciousnesses were just Fluctlights in the real world. Ritsu would say something when she was ready. The train ride home was silent and felt longer than usual, and my phone screen didn't once turn on to reveal Ritsu.

Then, after dinner and before I was about to exercise for the night, my phone beeped. I glanced over and licked my lips. Ritsu... "Hey," I said, picking up the phone.

"Hi, Nick," she said. "I..." She blinked rapidly, cheeks turning a little red. "Oh... Sorry, was I interrupting something?"

I tilted my head in confusion. "Nothing really. I was just about to -" Oh. "Uh, sorry, let me put on a shirt really quick..." That's mildly embarrassing. Sorry you had to see the scar again, Ritsu, I bet that was a little awkward. Once I had something covering my chest, I sat down at my computer and propped my phone up. "So, how're you doing?" I asked her.

"I've... processed what you said," Ritsu said slowly. "So... Nick?"

"Yeah?"

"Would you tell me about the world you come from?"

Slowly, a faint grin spread across my lips. "Sure, Ritsu. Hey, I know, I'll tell you about Yui and Din. So, my family and I play this game called ALfheim Online..."

...

The day after I'd talked with Korosensei, it was a day off for everyone, since most of my classmates were taking their entrance exams. Since I wasn't going to be taking any exams - for pretty obvious reasons - I figured I'd just have the day off. "Y'know," I said casually, shivering in the cold, "when I said I didn't have anything to do today, I was _kinda_ planning on just lazing around, and catching up on a few books."

"All the more reason to come along then, Nick!" Korosensei said cheerfully. The two of us were standing near the entrance to a high school, along with a few other adults. I was the only one my age in sight, ignoring the few students passing us and heading through the gates.

"It's _cold_."

"It's the wonderful outdoors!"

I just grumbled under my breath about where the wonderful outdoors could shove itself and tried to ignore how I couldn't feel my ears.

"Now, Nagisa's almost here! Big smile now, Nick!"

I grumbled louder, though it was suddenly drowned out by the wind.

"Um, what is that?!" one of the prospective students said. "Someone's family?"

Nagisa rounded the corner, and then stopped dead. A look of blank shock covered his face.

I couldn't blame him. "Go! Go! Na-gi-sa!" Korosensei chanted. And the one beside him, and the one beside that one, and the one... All the way down the street, a column of Korosenseis was cheering as Nagisa prepared to take his entrance exams at... I leaned over and peeked at the school plaque again. …At Keisetsu High School. "Go go Nagisa! Go go Nagisa! Go go Nagisa!"

For my part, I just waved a little victory flag. "Hooray, yay, woo," I said in a flat deadpan. "We believe in you, Nagisa, you can do it." Seriously, though, Sakura told me what she'd said to him. 'You're gonna be a teacher, silly.' There's no way he'd be able to be a teacher like this one, but good luck to him anyway.

"Yeaaaah!" the Korosenseis cheered, throwing their arms in the air.

"Okay, then!" one of the other cram school teachers yelped. "Is that an actual _mob_ of giants?!"

"Ugh," the woman standing next to him huffed. "I do _not_ appreciate those weirdos hogging the send-off ceremony. And which one is Nagisa?"

"Korosensei!" Nagisa yelped, mortified. "Nick! What in the heck do you two think you're doing?!"

"We're cheering you on, of course!" the crowd of Korosenseis said. "You didn't suppose I'd let my prized student's big moment slip by unnoticed, do you?" one of the clones continued.

Another one yelped and looked at his watch. "Oh dear! Look at the time!"

The Korosenseis started running off. "I've got drop by and cheer on Kimura! And Kanzaki! And Chiba! And Hayami!" I tilted my head. Korosensei had passed by Nagisa several times by now. Then, I yelped as the last Korosensei speed clone picked me up and prepared to carry me. "You got this!" the Korosenseis reminded Nagisa. "Up up, and away!"

Well, I guess this one way to burn a day without school...

But it's still _cold_.

"Hey, Korosensei?" I said. "Thanks. For still treating me like one of your students, even though you know the truth."

"What are you talking about, Nick?" Korosensei replied. "You _are_ one of my students! Nothing can change the time spent together and the bond we share."

I just rolled my eyes. "...Maybe say it in a little less cheesy way," I muttered.

"Ack! I thought you'd prefer if I was sentimental!"

...

The next day, I swung by the pre-school. "Hey, kids," I said with a small wave.

"Hooray!" some of the kids cheered. "Nick's here!"

"Hey, will you read us a story?"

"No, play with us!"

"How long are you staying today?" a few girls asked me.

"Sure, after the story, and a few hours," I said, addressing the questions in order. I got the expected cheers in order as well. "But before all that, where's Sakura? Wanna chat with the kid."

The pink-haired girl peeked out from behind a corner, disappointment that Nagisa wasn't with me warring with curiosity for why I wanted to talk with her and a little bit of excitement that I was here. "Right here," she said, trying to put on a nonchalant expression. "I guess I could answer a few questions."

I rolled my eyes - she'd need to do better than that if she wanted to fool me - before stepping over. "Nagisa took his school entrance exams yesterday," I said to her. Gently, I reached down and patted her on the head. "Thanks for kicking the idiot's butt into gear. You really helped out a lot, y'know?"

"Eheh..." the girl giggled, smiling up at me before catching herself. "I-I mean, of course I did."

Shaking my head, I chuckled and turned. "Sakura, I'm reading another book, if you want to join us," I offered. "Pretty sure you don't have any assignments to work on, right?"

Not waiting to see if she joined me - she'd show up in her own time - I got settled in the library and was soon swarmed by kids. One girl claimed my lap, while the other kids curled up around me. I hadn't really expected to stop by so often and read them stories, but I'd read them a book after tutoring exactly once, and things quickly got out of hand. At this point, it was a routine thing. "In the biggest, brownest, muddiest river in Africa, two crocodiles lay with their heads just above the water..."

I like this book. It's a good kid's story.

"...until at last, with the most tremendous bang! The enormous crocodile crashed head-first into the hot, hot sun, and was sizzled up like a sausage." The kids all let out various cheers and cries, and I smiled at them. "So, how'd everyone like the story?"

"It was great!" one of the boys called out.

I chuckled. "Wanna know something? It's a lot harder to get into space than that."

The kids' eyes went wide. Even Sakura, who'd shown up and was pretending to sit at the table reading her own book instead of listening to the story, although I hadn't seen her turn a page since she sat down. "Really?" one of the boys asked. "What's space like?"

"I haven't been," I admitted, prodding his forehead lightly. "But Nagisa has, so go ahead and ask him next time he's here, okay?"

"Wow!" the kid gasped. "That's so cool!"

I just grinned. Why yes, I _did_ just throw Nagisa in front of the bus, and no, I _don't_ feel bad about it in the slightest.

* * *

"Hey, Okano. Please, just take this!"

"Shut it!"

I raised my head from the desk and waited a patient second for my eyes to focus properly. When they did, I blinked. Did... Did they not focus properly?

Maehara was standing at the front of the room, grinning at Okano; she, on the other hand, was having none of whatever his deal was and had her arms crossed, looking away angrily. What confused me the most was the chocolate Maehara was holding and offering Okuda.

Kayano and Nagisa seemed just as confused as I felt. "Why's the boy the one giving the chocolate here?" she asked.

"Beats me..." Nagisa said.

I blinked. "Oh, I get it, we must have tripped into an alternate dimension worm hole. Tricky things, those are."

"Come on," Maehara was saying. "We go to an empty space, I pass you the chocolate, and then you hand it right back to me."

"How shameless can you get, ordering me around like that?!" Okano shouted at him.

Kayano looked at me. "What are you talking about? Alternate dimension worm... huh?"

"Oh, you haven't seen them? It's like a world inside a world. They're surprisingly common."

Okano shouted, "I heard about the student record thing from Okajima! You're all clear if you get some chocolate straight from me, right?! All the more reason not to do it!" she shouted, glaring at him. "The octopus can write you down as a Womanizing Scumbag for all I care!"

I paused as Sugino approached me, Nagisa, and Kayano. "Okay, I've missed something here, and it's probably not the wormholes," I said.

Kayano sighed. "Those aren't real, Nick."

"You don't know that."

"Then what do they look like?"

"They're invisible, that's what makes them so tricky."

Kayano sighed. "Ugh..."

After Sugino whispered a hushed explanation - Maehara set up a scheme to assassinate the octopus, playing on his incessant snooping in all matters romantic, and Okano got roped into it by mistake - Nagisa said, "...So that's the situation, huh?"

Yeah, I don't blame her for being mad. It's kinda shitty to do that to your friend.

"Hey, Okano," Nagisa said. There goes a braver man than I. "You should at least hear him o-" Okano's chair slammed into his face and he measured his tiny length on the floor, eyes spinning.

"Even Nagisa has been slain..." Kataoka murmured.

Yada whispered, "Nobody can calm Okano down, huh..."

"Nick!"

I straightened up. "Eep!"

Okano snapped, "Get over here! We're fighting!"

I looked around, but nobody wanted to bail me out. Traitors! All of you! "C-Coming..."

Fortunately, we had some time before class started, so this would be a good way for her to blow off some steam. "Yipe!" I yelped, ducking a particularly brutal attack from Okano's hidden Anti-Korosensei blade in her shoe. She's _really_ pissed! She only goes for the throat when she's super mad! "H-hey, careful, control-"

"I'm in control!" she shouted, lashing out with her feet in a barrage of kicks. I ducked, parried, and blocked them all, hands and feet desperately dancing to keep me out of pain. "That's why I'm not kicking Maehara's face in right now, the idiot!"

"I'm pretty sure he didn't mean to be a jerk," I offered as a peace treaty.

Okano snarled before flipping forward in a cartwheel, slamming her heel up towards my chin. I jerked back, sliding a little bit on the dirt of the training field before closing in and testing the waters with a few jabs. "Doesn't matter what he meant! It still hurt!"

I sighed as she only just barely managed to get out of the way of a combo I threw half-heartedly. "C'mon, Okano," I said. "I get where you're coming from, yeah? Guy's a jerk. But you can't just get _this_ worked up."

Her eyes narrowed and she spun on her heel. Her kick was aimed at my -

\- side and I grinned, catching it lightly and tugging her off-balance. Okano hopped in place, grumbling about cheating cheaters that cheat, before I let her foot go. She's calmed down enough that she wouldn't try to kill the idiot boy, at least. Fighting was good for burning stress like that. "Let's go, class is starting," I said.

First period went by more or less uneventfully, but Maehara hadn't gotten the memo that he needed to give her some space. Second period he was begging, third period he was begging, fourth period he tried to get her to solve a puzzle made out of chocolate and hand it to him... Okay, that one was kinda inspired, I'll give him that.

"Korosensei," Kataoka said to our teacher, "maybe you should let him quit." I glanced out the window, where Okano was speeding past, Maehara chasing her with a bucket to put the chocolate in. "Hinata's an honest person, but she's really stubborn when she's angry. Even with our Hinata Whisperer smoothing things over this morning, no matter how hard Maehara tries, she'll never give him any chocolate."

I blinked. "Wait, what did you call me?"

"No," Korosensei said. "If he can't fully understand the heart of a woman, he has no right to graduate from this assassination classroom. An exceptional hitman can handle anything, and knowing how to treat the opposite gender isn't any different."

Seriously though, this was getting out of hand. Finally, lunch break rolled around; the two lovebirds were finally exhausted, both of them panting to catch their breath in the science lab. Naturally, half the class was peeping in through the windows. "Okano..." Maehara said. "I'm begging you, please give me some chocolate and cheer up..."

"Hell no!" Okano shouted. I sighed. Will I have to fight her again? "You just want to save your student record, right?!"

"...Honestly," Maehara said after a few seconds, "I don't care if I'm labelled a playboy or a womanizing scumbag or whatever. But I don't like the way I received it yesterday. I want you to give it to me properly. So... I'm sorry," he said. "I didn't realize how you felt."

Idiot. How obvious does she have to be? "Apologizing won't do you any good," Okano said. "Don't you know I'm the type who won't crack in this situation?"

"Of course!" Maehara shouted. Okano jerked in surprise. "Over the year, I've come to know everything about you!"

"...Like what?"

"Well, uh... When you do your high kick, we can totally see, but you think we can't see anything," Maehara said. Okano blushed. "Overall, you're kinda crude, and when it comes to Home Ec even _I'm_ better than you. Any manga I borrow from you always has a grain of rice stuck to it. Oh, and you must really love rice or something, 'cause there's always a grain stuck to your face."

Maehara. Maehara stop what are you doing, do you _not_ see the increasingly enraged Okano right in front of you at perfect kicking distance?

"And you're _crazy_ violent!" Maehara continued, unaware of his impending demise. "Get a little mad, and you scratch. A little more, and you throw out a kick to the ribs. Even _more_ mad, and you'll unleash your drop kick."

Okano clenched her fist and spun. Her foot lashed out, slamming the Anti-Korosensei knife straight at Maehara's throat.

"And when you get _really, really_ mad," Maehara said, catching her leg, "you aim for the throat with an Anti-Sensei knife. Seriously, you're way too wild..."

"Huh?" Okano gasped.

I stared in shock. The knife that was hidden in her shoe...

... was chocolate. Part of which was in Maehara's mouth, the boy chewing the sweet treat.

Y'know what, fuck it. That probably counts, I'm going back to the room to eat my lunch. They don't need the Hinata Whisperer, they need a marriage counselor.

I heard the noise of the commotion - hmm, that sounds suspiciously like Okano kneeing Maehara in the face, he must have kept talking like an idiot - as I slid open the door to the main classroom. Kayano was sitting at her desk, staring at something in the little hollow wistfully. I peered closer, and...

...Oh ho ho! That's chocolate, alright.

I think I have a pret~ty good idea who it's for...

"Well, well, well," I said, sliding over behind her.

Kayano gulped, stiffening.

As if attracted by the prospect of teasing, Karma appeared, devilish as always. "What do we have here?" the red-head said.

"And who's the lucky fellow you're giving these to?" Nakamura asked smugly, showing up like she'd been summoned.

The three of us grinned down at the horribly blushing girl as she scrambled to make excuses. "Wait, what are you talking about, they're just a formality!" she said to Nakamura. Then she turned to Karma. "Why do you have to go there? Everyone likes chocolate," she said, looking at me, "they could be for anyone!"

"Riiiight," Karma said, holding out his phone. "And by anyone, I assume you mean _this_ little stud-muffin."

Naturally, it was a picture of Kayano and Nagisa's kiss. "Nice framing," I said appreciatively over Kayano's shriek of abject mortification. "You zoomed right in on their faces."

"I try," Karma said, standing up. Kayano was wriggling in her seat, not able to really do anything but mumble. "Weird," he said under his breath. "Her acting chops are usually more spot on."

"Not even Korosensei wised up to her before it was almost too late," Nakamura said.

I raised an eyebrow. "Ever since Nagisa kissed her, she's been a total wreck..."

We all leered at the sobbing girl sadistically. "If we bring the two of them together," Nakamura began.

"...We can tease two lovebirds with one stone," Karma finished.

I love it when our minds sync up. It makes things so much easier.

"We've got a shiny new toy," we all murmured, cackling with silent glee.

In the end, we had to drag Kayano out of the classroom before she had yet another breakdown. It was easier to just take her out behind the equipment shed and interrogate her there. "His self-esteem isn't exactly the highest," Nakamura said. "Poor guy can't imagine the opposite sex wanting anything to do with him."

"It's why he's avoiding you," Karma said. "See, in his mind that smooch is something you're pissed as hell about."

I sighed. "You have to clear things up with him, or he'll go on thinking that."

"I know," Kayano muttered. "It's just... I mean, I've _played_ being in love dozens of times, but this is totally different!" Karma grinned. "I have no real-life experience crushing on a classmate! Like, what am I supposed to say when I give the chocolates to him?"

She looked at me almost desperately - since I had a girlfriend and all, I had the most experience with this sort of thing - but I just shrugged. "Sorry," I said. "Kana and I are, uh, not exactly the most normal couple when it comes to these things." Seriously, she just kinda gives me the chocolate and kisses me on the cheek. I have no idea how people who _aren't_ in a relationship would do it. And I can't even use the girls as examples, since the ones they gave me are more-or-less obligatory, and the ones they give Kazuto are, well, yeah.

"Ah..." Karma said. "Want us to do a little recon?" Kayano gasped. "Maybe a little covert training would be in order?"

...

Case 1: Sugino and Kanzaki

"Absolutely!" Sugino shouted. "Absolutely!"

He was repeatedly slamming his forehead against the electric pole.

Weird.

"I'm, uh... glad you like them," Kanzaki said awkwardly. Even still, her polite smile didn't so much as waver.

"See?" Karma said. "In this case, the receiver is overjoyed. But observe how the giver is a little bit on the cool side. Total formality."

"His overjoyed face is... terrifying," Nakamura said.

I tilted my head. "I wonder how much longer before he gives himself a concussion?"

...

Case 2: Chiba and Hayami

Chiba squeezed off three shots. Every single one of them struck the target in the dead center of the bulls-eye.

"Impressive," Hayami observed. Why are they wearing coats? ...Duh, Nick, because it's February and it's cold. "Your shots are just as accurate when using chocolate ammunition."

She tossed him a small tin of chocolate bits. "Here's the rest, as promised. I really respect you," she said with a tiny smile. "Let's keep it that way."

"Sure," Chiba said.

"See?" Nakamura said as we peeked out from behind the entrance to the firing range. "Now there's a couple that's always on target. Gotta love that skill."

Kayano sighed. "I can't imitate that. I can't even tell if she meant it!"

I frowned. I couldn't tell the difference between Shino giving me chocolate and Shino giving Kazuto chocolate, come to think of it. Maybe it's a trait among snipers that obligatory and romantic chocolates appear the same.

...

Case 3: Terasaka's Gang

We crouched in the trees, watching as Hazama distributed the chocolate.

"Gentlemen," Hazama said, hugging herself like a blushing school girl. Of course, this was Hazama we were talking about, so, uh... I doubted that. "I await your answers with baited breath. To each of you a love letter... I put a lot of myself into these."

I zoomed in with my phone camera. It was just a checklist of possible side effects from eating the curses. Wait... "Obsessed with how to commit suicide in place where body won't be discovered so as not to inconvenience people?" I muttered. "What, did she write their names down or something?"

"She beat me to the punch!" Karma sighed, staring at the heart-shaped box of chocolates in his hand. "I had Okuda cook me up a batch I planned on leaving in Terasaka's shoe locker."

(...)

Bonus Case

"Here's your Valentine's Day cyanide!" Okuda chirped happily.

(...)

"What's wrong with you?!" Kayano protested. "That's not what chocolate is for at all!"

...

Case 4: Isogai and Kataoka

"Woah!" Isogai gasped. My own eyes were wide. That was a _lot_ of chocolate. The... super value set of commercial chocolate? Way to go all out, Princess Charming. "All these for me?" he asked. "Is this for real?"

Kataoka smiled. "I thought you might like to share them with your brother and sister," she said. "Nothing fancy, just bulk stuff from a wholesale store. Took me four hours to ride there and back."

"How..." Isogai asked as Kataoka turned. "When did you study?"

"It's not a big deal," the female class rep said. "After all, I have days before the entrance exams. I'm going to State school," she said when Isogai made a confused noise. "That makes you and me both, doesn't it?"

Isogai grinned. "Guess so," he said. "Hope we can get in."

"Right," Kataoka said.

Their conversation continued as they started walking down the hill, but from our vantage point in the trees we couldn't really hear it. "See?" Nakamura said. "Everyone has his or her distinct approach to this stuff."

Karma leaned against the tree trunk. "Best policy is to say what you have to say in your own words," he said. "Just be yourself."

I shrugged, sitting in the branches like it was a regular seat on the ground. "No guy is ever sad to get chocolate. I'm sure that he'll understand your feelings, so long as you try to convey them."

Kayano smiled. "...Yeah," she said. "Thank you, guys."

Nakamura nodded. "The only problem I see?" she began, before pointing off to the side.

I groaned. "Oh yeah, forgot about that. Privacy, yeah, that's probably important..."

Just like us, someone else was watching from the trees. Unlike us, that someone else was a yellow octopus taking pictures so he could write about it in his little notebook about relationships. "With the octoperv on the loose, there basically is none," Nakamura said casually as Kayano grimaced.

Karma waved a hand. "You can leave that to me. Kayano, I do hope you brought the you-know-what."

"Huh?" she asked. "Oh, yeah..."

He said, "Oughta put Korosensei on lockdown long enough for you to get the job done. Don't worry about it, concentrate on giving Nagisa those chocolates."

We split up at the entrance to the school; Kayano headed inside, while the three of us peeked in from the windows.

Okajima was ranting and raving like a crazy person, going completely nuts. Suddenly he slammed the door open. Kayano jerked back, her hand raised like she was about to slide the door open herself from the other side. "Where are my Valentine's Day chocolates?!" Okajima shouted, his eyes blood red. "I know I got something! Nagisa, help me! Some joker thought it'd probably be funny to hide them on the mountain!" His voice trailed off as he dashed away.

I just rolled my eyes. Weirdo.

As Nagisa laughed, walking out, he tilted to the side. Kayano had caught his arm, without saying a word. Surreptitiously, I slid the windows open to listen in. "Kayano?" he asked, following her as she stepped inside the classroom. Nakamura, Karma and I peeked up, grinning. "What's wrong? Why are you so quiet?"

Kayano stared into the distance, face bright red as she shook. Nagisa just looked on, completely confused.

"Uh, hey, Nagisa," she said awkwardly, with her back to him. "Where are you headed after graduation?"

Nagisa blinked, and then looked to the side. "Honestly, I know the career path I wanna follow. I'm just not sure it's something I'm cut out for." I sighed again, pressing the heel of my palm to my forehead. Yeesh, I have to go have Sakura talk to him _again_?

Kayano looked over her shoulder, smiling at the boy. Yes, this is it! Go give him the -

\- Wait shit Nagisa is peering out the window have we been compromised? I ducked down, pressing my back to the wall, but Nagisa only murmured, "Hm? What's Korosensei doing up there?"

I looked up. Korosensei was sitting at the top of a tree, its leaves still not back yet. "He's fixated, whatever it is," Nagisa murmured.

Suddenly I felt a surge of bloodlust as someone - probably Nagisa - focused on killing Korosensei. My heart paused as I automatically prepared to kill -

\- before the sensation of Nagisa's snake bearing its fangs faded away. "Of course he's out of range," Nagisa said. "Why would I think he'd leave himself so open to attack?"

"...Nagisa," Kayano said after a few seconds. I frowned, glancing at the window. Kayano had a happy smile on her face as she extended the box of chocolates to him.

Fake.

"As a thank you," she said. "These chocolates are yours, for always being by my side! Here!" she said, pressing them into his chest.

"A-Are you sure?" Nagisa stammered.

"Yep!"

"W-wait a minute," Nagisa said, staring at her as she shrugged her coat on. "I'm the one who should be thanking you!"

"Mission accomplished!" Kayano chirped. "See you tomorrow, okay? Hope you get into the school you're aiming for!"

I groaned under my breath as Kayano left the classroom, leaving a stunned Nagisa behind her. I can't believe _I'm_ the one playing matchmaker. Seriously, c'mon now...

Idiot. She probably tried to kill herself for his happiness... She didn't want to distract him, or something stupid like that.

As Kayano walked out of the building, she turned to us - we were still just sitting by the window, watching - and gave us a smile. Unlike her last this one was real, but filled with far too much sadness.

"Imagine," Karma said as she walked away. "Being able to cast your feelings aside at the moment of truth like that. Wow, there's no question she's Ms. Yukimura's sister."

Nakamura grinned, leaning back. "I know, right? So noble..."

"I had another word in mind," I sighed.

Nakamura just grinned, looking off into the distance. "Well damn, now I feel guilty thinking about trying to steal from her." …Oh. Well, now I feel bad.

Karma looked at her. "Come again?" he asked.

Nakamura blinked, and then hurriedly said, "Uh, never mind. Didn't say anything. So yeah, what exactly has Korosensei so enthralled?"

"Oh," Karma said. "I just left a note and some chocolate somewhere obvious. With a special photo, of course."

I grinned. Kayano brought it, so... "You rat bastard," I said playfully. It had to be a picture of Yukimura.

He shrugged. "If I'd known it was going to work this well, I'd have used it as bait long before now."

Still, I have something I have to take care of immediately. Nakamura asked me, "Hey, Nick, where are you going?"

I had stood up, brushing my pants off. "To deal with an idiot," I growled. "Maybe two if I have to."

Ignoring any shred of misgivings, I headed into the classroom. Ostensibly to grab my bag and coat, but really to talk to Nagisa. "You," I growled, pointing at the boy. "Go talk to her," I snapped, pointing at the door with my other hand. "Now," I continued, snapping my first hand over to also point at the door.

Nagisa stared at me blankly. "What?"

I groaned and smacked my forehead. "For the love of gods, don't be me," I said to him. "Be smarter than me and realize when a girl has a crush on you. Get your butt moving and go talk to Kayano, you're not stupid enough to miss the meaning behind the chocolates."

"Uh..."

"Go!" I barked. Spooked, Nagisa headed off to catch up with Kayano. "And figure out how to focus on two things at once!" I shouted after him.

Yeesh. Idiot.

"Oh, hey Nick," Yada said, poking her head into the room. "I thought I heard your voice."

"Hey," I said, waving slightly. "Just dealing with stupidity, I was about to leave. What's up?" Grabbing my bag, I did my usual check of my desk to make sure my knives and guns were in the right place, and frowned when my hands hit something unexpected.

Yada smiled. "Just wanted to give you something," she said, handing me a wrapped box. "I thought you'd probably miss your girlfriend today, so I figured I'd give you something."

"Thanks," I said with a small smile. "I'll accept the courtesy chocolates. Looks good." Yada laughed, but didn't try to correct me or anything stupid like that. "And this is..." Pulling the unknown thing from my desk, I chuckled. "From Hayami. There's a note... 'You've said I remind you of your sister, thought you'd miss her. Happy Valentine's Day.' Aww, how sweet. Guess you two think alike."

The Hot-and-Cold Sniper strikes again. Cute. I'll have to thank her tomorrow, since I'm probably not going to be around to return the favor in a month...

As I was walking home from the bus stop, my phone rang. Absently, I put in an ear piece and tapped it. "Hey, Ritsu," I said. I'd specifically set her ringtone as separate from the others, just so I could tell when she was calling me.

"Hi, Nick!" she chirped. "Sorry I can't give you any chocolate today."

"No worries. I wasn't expecting any, since, y'know, you're in a computer box. It would be kinda awkward for you to go buy chocolate."

Ritsu giggled. "Could you imagine it, though?"

I really could, actually. Then again, online ordering _is_ a thing... Eh, I like the mental image of the incredibly gun-laden Ritsu walking into a shop and trying to purchase a thing of chocolates, and all the cashiers just freaking out. "Haah... Now I'm almost sad you didn't. Anyway, need something?"

She let out a cute giggle before her tone turned serious. "There's a conversation between Professor Bitch and Mr. Karasuma you should probably listen to..."

"Oh?"

...

"A four-star Valentine's Day dinner?" Karasuma asked. "What's in it for you?"

"Mm-hmm," Professor Bitch murmured sultrily. "I'm told you men tend to give back three times as much on White Day. Seems like an honorable tradition to me. Of course," she continued, "I can't imagine how you could _possibly_ measure up... Ahn... we'll see, won't we?"

 _Ritsu made a small sound of frustration. 'I don't get it,' she said._

 _I just sighed. 'It's just Professor Bitch being a bitch again, Ritsu.'_

"I'm out," Karasuma declared instantly. I heard something scrape across the ground and realized it was his chair, the man standing up from wherever they were eating. Probably to leave.

Professor Bitch immediately dropped the sultry voice and yelped, "Don't be like that! At least stay through the meal, that wasn't meant as a jab at your manhood, I swear! You don't know what I went through to get reservations!"

"I'm surprised a place like this would let someone like you cross the threshold!" Karasuma growled.

After a few seconds, Professor Bitch said, "Here. From Hinano. She asked if I'd mind passing it on. You're at school so seldom these days. 'When I see an opening, that man is _mi~ine_ ,' she told me. Poor girl. She seems to have gotten it into her head that we're a thing now."

"Hm. Bet the boys are broken-hearted."

 _'Nick? Are you broken-hearted?'_

 _'There'd need to be something to break, Ritsu. And no, of course not, I have Kana and my family.' I shook my head. 'Professor Bitch has never interested me like that.'_

"I got a veritable boat-load of chocolates, even for me," Professor Bitch laughed weakly. "I'm sure a few kids thought it might be their last Valentine's Day. Can't blame 'em for going overboard. So... What's going on in your world lately? How's the big plan?"

 _My eyes narrowed. 'This is what you wanted me to hear, right?'_

 _'Right,' Ritsu said. 'I don't listen to all the conversations all the time, but the content discussed here triggered a few of the word filters I have set up.'_

 _I'm seriously wondering, then, what exactly triggered the filter on my conversation with Korosensei._

"The kids think that if they can keep the octopus from blowing up, everything will work out," Irina continued, her tone serious. "Of course, we know better, don't we."

"...Maybe," Karasuma answered after a few seconds. "I have been meaning to talk to you, actually. I've been relegated to provide E Class with proprietary guidance, so I'm kept out of the loop. They'll likely only brief me at the eleventh hour. But... Something _is_ in the works. The government is moving forward with a secret assassination project, there's no doubt about it."

...

I sighed as the conversation died away, the recording ending as the two of them moved to lighter topics. "Great," I grumbled, watching my breath fog in the air in front of me. "The government is setting up something big, and none of us have any idea what it is. Ritsu, can you..."

"Uh-uh," she replied, already anticipating my request. "I've already combed through the databases available to me, and there's nothing about it anywhere. Whatever the assassination plan is, after the research data from the satellite was stolen the authorities are being a lot stricter about keeping data off the internet."

I grimaced, but just sighed in the end. "Well, we had to get that data," I said. "We couldn't know it would burn us in the future." This is why I'm a tactician, not a strategist. I look at what I have now, not what I will have in the future. I suspect that's why I'm less than great at chess.

"Oh!" Ritsu said suddenly. "Professor Bitch and Mr. Karasuma are talking about us again!"

"Patch me in, please?"

"You got it!"

...

"...They'll never get over it if they can't kill him," Professor Bitch was saying. "They'll be haunted by that failure the rest of their lives. And they'd resent having their thunder stolen by some government bigshot mercenary, or whatever the powers that be are cooking up."

 _Judging by the faint car noises in the background, they were by the highway. 'Eh,' I murmured, 'probably wouldn't eat at me too much.' Then again, I have caught myself wondering about the top quarter of Aincrad from time to time. Even after seeing the Ruby Palace for myself..._

"But think about it," Professor Bitch continued. "Imagine those kids having to watch their teacher die. The octopus writhing in agony at the hands of one of their classmates." Professor Bitch hesitated. "They're screwed either way. The trauma will follow them to the grave. However this turns out, we're talking _years_ of therapy. Being part of something like this, twists you in a way you can never undo, ever."

"Irina..." Karasuma began. "Once this business is said and done, you should quit. You're just not built for it."

"...Excuse me?" Irina asked carefully.

"Don't you see?" Karasuma said. "Your feelings run too deep. Over the past year, they've taken the wheel. If you're this worried about the students being affected, what might another job down the road put you through?"

There was a brief sound of a scuffle, and Irina gasped. "Sure, you can dismiss the life I've made for myself, why not?" she hissed. "It's easy to pass judgment from the nosebleed section! But here on the ground, I'm a killer. There's no going back from that. No place in the sun, waiting for me to shed the past and reinvent myself."

 _I sighed heavily, tilting my head back to stare at the sky. I could see little glimpses of starlight through the clouds overhead. 'She's not wrong...'_

"Everything we experience is a tool for clearing one's path," Karasuma replied. "That's the most important thing I've learned on this job. What those kids taught me. I understand your concern, but they have resilience down to an art form. Whatever they face, however horrible, they know how to let it nourish them. Irina," he said. "Why don't you come work for us?"

 _I raised an eyebrow. This is getting interesting._

"You have skill," Karasuma said. "An impressive range of professional experience. As far as we're concerned, your past is just that. With us, you'll save more people than you killed. And if you want, every morning, you can pray for your victims at the shrine. Something to consider."

His bootsteps started again, not accompanied by the click of Irina's heels.

 _'Well,' I said casually, 'that's one way to get a job offer.'_

 _'I'm happy for her,' Ritsu said._

"What do you mean, a shrine?" Professor Bitch called out. "You do realize I identify as Christian, right? And why stay where I hardly know anyone?"

The bootsteps stopped. "I don't think you understand," Karasuma said. "There's no church anywhere near my house. Sorry."

"Uh..." Professor Bitch hummed.

 _My eyes widened. 'Oh,' I said._

 _Ritsu murmured, 'Um... Should we be listening to this?'_

 _'Hells yes, I wanna hear how this ends.'_

"Gah!" Professor Bitch suddenly yelped as the lightbulb went off. "Whaaaa?! Wait a minute!" she shrieked. "Are you saying what I think you're saying?!"

"Probably," Karasuma replied casually.

"Bwah - A man and a woman can't live together out of wedlock! What will people think?!"

"Suit yourself, then."

"Agh!" Professor Bitch yelped. "No! It's fine! It's the twenty-first century, it's a different world! Wait for me!"

...

I laughed helplessly. "Who knew," I chuckled. "For all the sex kitten act, Professor Bitch is surprisingly old-fashioned when it comes to these things."

Ritsu giggled. "Hee hee... Good night, Nick. See you tomorrow."

I nodded. "Later, Ritsu."

Still laughing to myself, I shrugged my bag back over my shoulder and headed for home.

* * *

The next day, I was walking home from school with Sugino, Karma, and Nagisa like usual – Kayano came with us for a while, and I smirked when I caught her and Nagisa holding hands.

"Ah, love," I sighed. "That magical spark between two people that you just have to hope won't start a fire and burn them both to death."

"You have some serious problems!" Nagisa exclaimed.

I clapped a hand on Nagisa's shoulder. "You know, Nagisa, normally I'm the straight man, when it comes to jokes." I glanced off to the side. "Which is kinda ironic, now that I think about it."

"What?"

"Besides the point. Regardless!" I said triumphantly. "Thank you for always having the perfect reaction."

"I'm not sure that's something I should be proud of," he sighed.

Anyway, she left us a few turns back – though unlike usual Terasaka and Itona were coming along with us. They'd fallen in line with us after we left the campus. Strangely, Karma wasn't as talkative as he usually was. Not that I really minded. It had been a long day, even if I wasn't as tired as I had been for a while.

"Why the long face, Karma?" Terasaka snarked. "Did the octopus tweak your nose again?"

Karma didn't answer. He looked like he was thinking about something.

"Are you jealous, Terasaka?" Itona asked. "Your nose is too dumpling-like to be tweaked."

"What?!" Terasaka snapped.

Karma glanced over his shoulder at Itona, staring at the boy. "Hey, Itona," he said. "When we first met, you said stuff about how we were all strong or weak or whatever, right? You still splitting hairs about that?"

"That... was the tentacles talking, not me," Itona finally replied. "What I really wanted... wasn't something I could get just by being strong. So, Karma," he said, "you're stronger than me. And that's that."

"...Hmm," Karma said, turning back forward.

I just tilted my head, blinking sleepily. What was that all about? Probably something to do with the octopus, since it always did.

"Hey! Let me go!"

My eyes snapped open as adrenaline shot through my body, erasing the dregs of sleep. "What the -" Terasaka muttered, the six of us hurrying forward. We all recognized that voice.

«Wow,» some thug said. «Japanese chicks can't speak English after all,» he laughed.

Five or six older men were surrounding someone wearing our uniform. As we got closer, I could see the girl clearly. «But that doesn't matter to us,» some bald creep wearing an eyepatch said as he grabbed Yada and yanked her around. «Not so long as your body can do the talking!»

As he laughed uproariously, anger coursed through my body. Still...

My eyes flicked over the six of them. They were bigger than us, and even if we were trained to fight... There was something about them that felt dangerous. They were more than just the perverts they looked like, even if I couldn't tell exactly what. They all looked super strong.

"Yada!" Nagisa exclaimed.

"Hey, whadda you assholes think you're doing?!" Terasaka shouted as we rushed forward to help. "Get your hands offa her!"

«...Damn...» Eyepatch grumbled. «Seriously, would it kill you to speak someone else's language?»

Karma looked like he was about to say something, but I breezed by him. «You _are_ in Japan,» I said casually, approaching them easily. «When in Rome, right? Now, if you don't mind, would you mind letting my friend go? It doesn't look like she appreciates the attention.»

"Nick..." Yada said.

I smiled at her. She'd be fine.

One of the thugs leered at me. «What if we don't want to, huh?»

I just grinned lightly. «Well, I guess the police might have some issue with that,» I offered calmly. I didn't want to antagonize them, they were bad enough on their own. But the man behind them was-

«Didn't you hear him?» Karma. Karma, no. Karma stop what are you doing. «We said, let her go. Or do you want us to call your breeder for you, you filthy livestock?»

I groaned and introduced my palm to my forehead. "Karma..." I muttered. I was close to winning this without a fight.

Suddenly, the aura of the men in front of me shifted. The hidden danger I'd sensed suddenly surged, their body language immediately shrieking danger. «The fuck did you just say?» they muttered.

«Hey, you red-headed shrimp,» Eyepatch grinned menacingly.

«Just hand over the girl like a good boy and we won't kill you,» Thug 2 said. «Don't worry, we'll just play with her a little bit.»

«We're real thirsty after flying all over the world for our job,» the thug with the baseball cap said. «Japanese women'll do whatever you say no matter what, right?»

«Would you like some water or soda, then?» I asked him calmly, taking a deep breath to keep my cool even while I felt my jaw clench at the end of the sentence. «There should be a vending machine nearby.»

Cap leered at me, one hand gripping Yada's chin. «I got somethin' else in mind ta drink.»

"...You son of a bitch!" Terasaka snarled. Beside him, Sugino and Nagisa were holding a whispered conversation beside him. Probably about trying to find Korosensei - but he was in Canada, I think, getting some maple syrup for his morning pancakes. Did they know...?

«Hold on, guys,» Eyepatch said, raising a hand. «I ain't letting this brat get away. Rebellious eyes, rude words... I think he needs to learn some of society's manners.» He loomed over Karma.

Karma's eyes flickered as he looked over the men in front of him. I could tell what he was thinking; there were six of us, and six of them. Eyepatch alone was stronger than Takaoka. If we all attacked at once, we might be able to take out two or three; without weapons, that's the best we could do. But we wouldn't get Yada out of danger.

That man in the back... I glanced at him. He was smirking quietly, hand in his jacket pocket. The scar over his left eye was a livid red. He's definitely in charge of them, watching our reactions. He might even be stronger than Karasuma, if we're unlucky. I can feel the pressure from here.

Karma grimaced. «...I was wrong,» he said.

"What?!" Sugino and Terasaka yelped.

«I'll apologize, so let her go,» Karma said, gripping his shirt front. «Everyone... is going to graduate soon. It's an important time for us.» Oh? Has he learned something from Korosensei?

«I wanna hear you apologize in Japanese,» Eyepatch smirked. «I learned the words when I beat up some guys in Roppongi.»

Karma lowered his head, and dropped his hand to his side. It felt like... he was putting something important to the side, ever so briefly. Hm. "...I'm sorry," Karma said, bowing deeply. "So please spare us for today."

Eyepatch let out a little whistle. «Haahaha!» he laughed. «Keep your pants on! I was just messin' with you for fun! I never cared about a brat like her from the start!» he laughed, walking past us. Cap tossed Yada, and I caught her easily, keeping her upright as she stumbled.

«C'mon, you look like you're about to cry!» one of the thugs laughed, patting Karma on the shoulder.

My eyes snapped to Scar as he breezed by us, following the pack of thugs. «My apologies,» he said. «These men may be my friends, but they're quite despicable at times.»

With a force of will, I kept my hackles down. This man was _dangerous_ and I wanted to kill _(kill kill kill)_ him. Still, I kept my bloodlust sheathed and quiet, making sure Yada hadn't been hurt.

As they left, Nagisa said, "...Karma..."

Karma knelt down, and mimed as though he was picking something up. Once he stood back up, he let out a breath and turned to the rest of us. "You're pretty incredible, Nagisa," he said. "You managed to do that perfectly calmly when you fought Takaoka."

Nagisa grinned. "No, no," he said. "You're the incredible one for putting up with that to save us."

Karma sighed. "According to the octopus, I'll have to do stuff like this in the real world. But what's there to gain for it...?"

Yada smiled, quietly thanking me before turning to Karma. "It's fine as it is, Karma," she said. "Thanks to you and Nick, nothing happened to me, and I can get home now."

Karma looked at me, and then shook his head. "There's no need to thank me if nothing happened."

"Itona," a man called out.

I glanced at Itona, only to see him staring straight ahead, eyes wide. The man standing along the sidewalk was an older man, holding a black suitcase in his hand. "Oh, thank goodness," he said. "I figured I could meet you if I waited on your path home from school."

I raised an eyebrow. Creeper alert. Do I have to deal with _another_ issue? This time, I probably won't be nearly as placid; this guy is nowhere near the level of strength that we just faced down.

"...Father..." Itona said.

"Wh-" Terasaka yelped.

Huh. The father that ditched the kid, right?

"I don't know where you're living now," Itona's father said, "so I'm really glad nothing's happened."

I nudged Karma in the ribs. "Something almost did," I grumbled quietly.

"I still don't know how you do it so effortlessly," Karma hissed back. Do what? Not care what other people think about me?

"All our debts have finally been cleared," Itona's father said. "Finally.. I can live with you without causing any trouble. ...Your voice changed," he said, as Itona stood in front of him. "And you've gotten taller. You've down well by yourself, Itona."

The boy leaned his head against his father's chest. "...Yeah," he said.

We didn't get to see any more, Yada hurrying the rest of us along to give Itona and his father a moment of privacy. We were all grinning at the scene.

I guess things worked out fine in the end.

* * *

 **This chapter was kinda fun to write, I guess. A lot of it was dedicated to Korosensei doing Korosensei-like things, but Nick enjoyed himself.**

 **Most importantly, he finally told someone about who he was, and what's going on! Korosensei, of course, didn't think it mattered much. It did explain a lot about why Nick was the way he was, as well as certain things – like why Nick wasn't going to attend high school. In the end, well, you saw the tail end of their conversation. Things we won't see in the story proper: Nick kinda _wants_ to tell people the truth, but is pretty sure it'll end badly. I mean, telling people that their entire world is a simulation and that they're just bits of data in a Fluctlight? That's not going to end well.**

 **I'll be honest, though, Ritsu was a surprise. I tend to plan my stories out, but... like, the Tuesday before I posted this chapter she decided 'I'm going to eavesdrop on Nick!' and then suddenly found out he's from a different dimension. Poor girl. I wonder why she was listening to him in the first place? (heh. it's because she has a crush on him. heh.) And all things considered, she's probably the _best_ person to overhear the truth.**

 **Beyond that, it's more of Nick being Nick. Valentine's Day was never really interesting to him, so this is the first time he's really got chocolate from people (remember, he went 3-4 years without doing social things in the slightest, so he had no friends to get chocolate from). And, of course, he will accept zero shit from Nagisa and Kayano. He actually kinda likes those two, he's not going to let them be stupid re: feelings. (and before anyone says he's a hypocrite about realizing when girls have a crush on him, he doesn't know about Shino because she just figured it out herself. He is, however, a hypocrite because he has no idea Ritsu has/had a crush on him)**

 **The bit at the end with Yada was taken from the manga. I intend on giving the Wolfpack an actual role in this story, so their first appearance needs to be there as well. Nick tried to defuse things by being implacably calm, like always, but then Karma's mouth ruined it.**

 **We did miss the Wolfpack's judgment of the students. They're aware that E Class is more than they appear, and that the students are talented, but they glossed over Nick. He's very good at hiding in plain sight – to them, his only unique feature is that he's American.**

 **Many thanks to everyone who favorited, followed, or reviewed.**


	19. Trust Time

**Chapter 19: Trust Time**

 **(8 Days)**

* * *

"Congratulations all around!" Korosensei cheered, trying to clap his tentacles together but just making a gross squishing sound. "Well done! Those second blades twinkled! Everyone made it into a top-tier school of their choice! You'll be entering into freshman year like the rock stars you are!"

All around me, the class was cheering and celebrating. Isogai was chatting with Takebayashi, Sugaya and Okuda were talking excitedly... Even Terasaka and Karma seemed to have a weight lifted off of their shoulders. I realized with a surge of surprise, followed by pleasure, that Karasuma had actually shown up to class today. Cool!

"Ah, what a tremendous weight off my shoulders," Korosensei sighed. I glanced at him, furrowing my brows. Hey. Stay out of my head. "We're meant to begin our final round of career counseling sessions today," he said, "but there's something I'm rather keen on doing beforehand."

The class all got ready to cheer. Okajima and Mimura pulled out some party poppers, while Maehara started passing around soda and water. I saw Okano clench her fists, chanting "Party, party, party," under her breath.

"What might that be, you may ask," Korosensei said, deliberately heightening the tension. I just shook my head, pulling out a bag of snacks I had saved for this occasion. "How can we mark such a joyous occasion?"

A blast of wind as Korosensei changed into -

...someone with a three-day beard, glasses, and messy hair typing on a computer? Huh? And what are those stacks of... pictures surrounding him? "Editing, of course," Korosensei said, his tentacles flying over the keyboard.

"Say what?!" we all chorused.

"Oh, yes!" Korosensei said, adjusting his glasses. "We will be commemorating E Class... with a special yearbook!"

I, uh... What?

"You're putting together a yearbook, just for us?" Nagisa asked.

"Yes!" Korosensei exclaimed.

Kurahashi shifted in her seat. "Oh, that's right," she said. "We didn't have any pictures of you for the regular one. Mr. Karasuma stood in as the E Class teacher." Which makes sense, given that Korosensei's supposed to be a government secret, despite the octopus's complete disregard for that. It would look kinda suspicious that our teacher was a yellow octopus with a too-wide smile.

"Not that we didn't appreciate that, but it does kinda suck that you weren't in a single shot," Yada said.

"Um..." Chiba said, staring at a picture. I looked over his shoulder. "He managed to photobomb a few under the radar, actually."

The picture in question was Yada, Nakamura, and Hara, standing outside the E Class building. In the background, a blurry Korosensei was throwing up a V for Victory sign.

"That, uh, looks more like a ghost than our teacher," I said. I think I should mention that to Karasuma and make sure it's all good.

"Precisely!" Korosensei said, staring at his stacks of pictures in front of him. He had the entire desk filled, along with boxes stacked with them. ...Did those boxes say Korozon on them? ...Damn it, Korosensei. "Why rely on those pictures for memories when we have these?"

"What even are they?" I asked, leaning on my hand.

"I'm glad you asked, Nick!" Korosensei exclaimed. I rolled my eyes. Sometimes, it feels weird to be delivering the straight line... "An entire year's worth of candid moments! A treasure trove of student-teacher selfies! Thirty thousand strong! Now, let's sort through them and find the best ones together!" he cheered.

Simultaneously, the entire class sighed. "When did you take them?" Isogai muttered.

"Anyone else creeped out?" Hazama muttered.

Nakamura sighed, resting her head in her hand. "And if it so happens we absolutely hate pictures of ourselves and we want to be exempt?" she asked. I'd agree, since no matter what I can never take a good picture after getting a haircut - but jokes on them, I never _did_ get a haircut. ...My hair's starting to get long...

"Seriously?" Fuwa asked her.

Nakamura nodded. "My eyes are too small," she explained.

"Not to worry," Korosensei said, offering the girl a picture. "I've taken the liberty of using the big eye filter for maximum cuteness!"

I stared at the picture of Nakamura and Korosensei. Both of them had their eyes blown up to comic proportions. "I'm... a little terrified right now, actually," I said in a deadpan. Nakamura's wide eyes were a little on the uncanny valley side.

"Wow," Nakamura muttered. "Thanks, Korosensei. That's so nice of you."

"Y'know," Sugino said, "the shots they used for the regular yearbook _are_ sorta by the numbers."

I realized Ritsu was smiling widely, pointing at herself. "And Ritsu wasn't in any of them," I said suddenly. "Hard to be, when she's an AI."

"If we did one ourselves, maybe we could go a little more avant-garde," Hara said, nodding.

"That's the spirit!" Korosensei said, eyes gleaming. "Here we have the cool beauty Hayami at the local pet shop."

My eyes widened. Hayami was rubbing her cheek against an adorable orange kitten, pure joy written all over her face. "That's ador-" I started to say, only to immediately get shot in the chest by a blushing Hayami. "Urk." But why? It was cute!

"And over here," Korosensei continued, "the wonderfully kinetic nighttime shot of Mimura on air guitar~!"

Both of them were mortified. Still, I don't think Hayami has anything to worry about. Honestly, that girl is exactly like Shino, down to refusing to let anyone see her in her vulnerable moments.

"And I'm just getting warmed up!" Korosensei said.

"Princess Kataoka, resplendent in fresh royal vestments!" Kataoka was dressed in a pink dress, wearing a small hat and some boots. It looked nothing like the calm and simple girl that was one of E Class's leaders.

"Sensitive Muramatsu, reacting to an icky cockroach!" Muramatsu was contorting his body, eyes clenched shut as he recoiled from a cockroach.

"And Okajima, tearing about the campus in the nude, for some reason." I just kinda stared at Okajima. At least the boy's tie covered anything unfortunate.

Suddenly, the pervert burst to his feet. "Whoa, hang on a sec!" he exclaimed. "Does this mean... there are some of my _really_ dangerous photos floatin' around out there?"

"There's worse?!" I yelped, staring at him.

Immediately, the entire class charged, except for myself, Karma, and Itona. "Everyone find your photos and destroy them!" Sugino shouted. "Leave no trace!"

"Well, well, well," Korosensei laughed smugly. "Who would have thought yearbook editing would get you so fired up?"

A Classic Failure - a picture of Okuda immediately after some chemical exploded in her face. She was unharmed in the picture, but her clothes were covered in soot, her glasses askew, and her hair was all messed up. Korosensei was in the back, his face black.

How Much For This - a picture of Isogai wearing his tracksuit, madly digging for the yams that grew in the mountainside. I shook my head. Korosensei was just munching on one of the yams Isogai had dug up.

Cheaters Never Win - a picture of Kanzaki at the arcade, standing victorious over her defeated opponent. She was smiling serenely over his crumpled form. Actually, that one's pretty neat, I don't see why she'd get mad over that one. Korosensei was in the back, cheering.

A Dead Ringer - Fuwa crouched over a series of fog emitters, making it look like her body was steaming. She was wearing a straw hat, for some reason. Korosensei had a number two on his forehead, smiling.

Who's Doing the Inviting Now? - Terasaka was dragging Yoshida to a maid cafe, while Takebayashi smiled knowingly. Seriously, what is with the thug and maid cafes? In the background, Korosensei was wearing a cat-eared maid costume.

Play Dress-Up in Moderation - Poor Nagisa, being stripped by Nakamura. I remember when this one happened, it was at the festival - though I wasn't there to see it in person, unfortunately, since I was busy enjoying A Class's music. Nakamura was wearing Nagisa's pants, and he was wearing her skirt. Meanwhile, Karma was getting a maid outfit ready, laughing. Korosensei was hiding in the bushes, wearing his golden fish outfit.

A Good Parent - Oh hey, this one's me! I was lying under a heap of the children from the pre-school, totally buried in them. Heh, I remember that. They'd wanted to see just how strong I was, so they all dogpiled me and knocked me to the ground. Korosensei was sitting in the back, reading one of the picture books.

As one, everyone else ripped up their picture and shredded it before tossing it aside. _Who did he think'd want to see that?_ they seemed to be thinking.

I kept my picture, simply because I didn't really care all that much. There weren't any horribly embarrassing ones in there, and even though he had a few pictures of me when I was cross-dressing for the school festival, it's not like I really mind.

"C'mon!" Yada protested. "Say something to the octopus paparazzi, Professor Bitch!"

Meanwhile, Professor Bitch was just standing in the corner next to Karasuma, staring into space. "Living together, starting April... Ten times a day, starting April..." Karasuma blanched. Holy shit, ten times a day?! That... That's some stamina, alright... _Damn._

I swear I could see little hearts floating out of her head. Nobody else seemed to know what was up with her, since Ritsu and I had decided to keep quiet about the arrangement between her and Karasuma. Until they wanted to tell the class, we wouldn't say anything - mainly because eavesdropping on them might get us in trouble. We did spread the word about the government planning _something_ , even if we could probably handle whatever they tried.

And because of the whole eavesdropping thing, I'd had Ritsu withdraw the bug from Karasuma's phones. It's one thing if it's my classmates or Professor Bitch, but I didn't want to get caught infecting someone from the Ministry of Defense.

"Okie-dokie!" Korosensei said, smiling widely as he spread more pictures. "Let's choose our pics for the school events category! Whaddaya think of these, eh? Bring you back?"

Killing It at Exams - Blurry pictures of Korosensei in front of all of us, lecturing us individually to help shore up our weak points as we studied. I frowned at the pictures, but I couldn't tell what semester this was from.

Killing It at Summer Vacation - It was a nighttime shot of a few of the girls from E Class, all wearing yukatas at the summer festival Korosensei browbeat us into attending. Judging by the illumination on Kataoka and Kanzaki's faces, as well as Kurahashi's excited cheering, they were watching the fireworks.

Killing It at the School Festival - It was a good picture of our ramen stand; the main focus was Hayami and Kayano acting as waitresses to some guy, but I could see Maehara running dishes in the background. I didn't see myself, so I had no idea whether this was the first or second day. There were other pictures of the ingredient collection squads, but I wasn't in any of them. Apparently, I just managed to miss all of the group photos.

I flipped through the images, grinning slightly. It was kinda fun, trying to remember everything that went on. It was a shame I wouldn't ever be able to bring these memories home in a physical form, unless some new development in Fluctlight research occurs, but I'll at least remember the good times.

"Agh!" Korosensei whined, clutching at his head as us students were industriously shredding all of the pictures that were embarrassing, awkward, or just plain weird. "I should have taken more! This isn't nearly enough! I wanted our yearbook to be at least ten thousand pages!"

"Why don't we burn them all, just to be safe?" Itona suggested.

"Frickin' dictionary's not that big," Terasaka grumbled, ripping a few more pictures.

Korosensei suddenly rose from his desk, wearing... is that the dog suit from when he rescued the class from the Reaper? "Oh, the humanity!" Korosensei cried. Heh, irony. "Outside, boys and girls! What we need is a random assortment of cosplay shots!"

Excuse me we need what now?

Theme: Bio-History - A few unlucky students were dragged into animal clothes. Itona was stuffed into a frog costume, his head poking out of its mouth, while Kataoka and Sugaya were a fish and a dinosaur respectively. Behind them stood Korosensei as, what else, an octopus. While Itona, Kataoka, and Sugaya seemed nonplussed, Kurahashi was smiling widely in her dog costume. Ritsu was even getting in on the action, dressed up as a cute shrimp.

"That's it," Korosensei said, acting like one of those cheesy photographers.

Theme: Japanese History - Korosensei was acting as a decapitated head, a trail of blood down his chin and a paper reading 'Divine Punishment' attached to his forehead. Behind him stood some of my classmates in old-fashioned clothes; Okano was smiling widely, and Fuwa seemed ecstatic that she got to be a ninja, but other than that nobody seemed to really care.

"Oh that's money," Korosensei cooed.

Theme: History of Religion - I stared up at Korosensei, tentacles forming a tangle in the sky as he ate a plate of spaghetti. Y'know, I should have probably expected this... Okajima was dressed as a Shinto priest, trying to exorcise the Flying Spaghetti Octopus, while a few of my classmates looked on. Nakamura was a nun, Kanzaki was wearing _some_ sort of formal robes, Mimura was I think Vishnu? One of the Hindu gods, at least, I think. Muramatsu was dressed in nothing but a loincloth and holding some spears, doing a tribal dance. This was all very strange.

"Very nice," the octopus simpered.

Suddenly Karma and I were in his grasp as he started changing our clothes. I looked at my friend, and he looked back, both of us completely deadpan as Korosensei placed cowboy hats on our heads. "Excellent!" Korosensei raved. "More outfits!"

We were released soon enough; we both kept the cowboy hats on, but while Karma shrugged his usual black jacket back on, the leather vest I was wearing was comfy, so I kept wearing it as I joined back up with Kayano and Nagisa. They'd both been dragged into devil cosplay. "Y'know," Kayano giggled as she watched Korosensei nab Kimura and Yada, "is it me or have things gotten chill? I mean, Korosensei helped us study for the entrance exams, but aside from that everything's been a free for all."

Nagisa smiled. "Eh... It's more like we're at the mercy of his whims."

"No, you're being spoiled."

I turned to see Karasuma standing there. "He's just proud of how far you guys have come. Figured it's time to let you kids unwind."

I glanced over my shoulder to see Korosensei standing with tentacles around Kimura and Yada, his head in the shape of a giant tooth. He was holding a card that read 'Take care of your teeth!'. But, uh, Kimura and Yada were dressed as demons, for some reason. I don't know why.

"Everything up 'til now's been so... tense," Karasuma continued. "Where's the harm in having fun? That's what he's thinking, anyway."

I nodded. "Makes sense," I said quietly.

"What about you, Mr. Karasuma?" Nagisa asked our teacher. "All things considered, do you think we turned out okay?"

Karasuma smiled faintly. "Of course," he said, like the response wasn't in any doubt. I felt myself smile despite trying not to. I was praised, I couldn't help it. "You've shaped up quite nicely. In fact, if I ever fall on hard times, you'll be the ones I call."

Suddenly, Karasuma disappeared from in front of us, only to reappear in a snappy tuxedo. Professor Bitch was held in his arms bridal-style, wearing what else but a wedding gown and veil. "What _is_ this?" Karasuma asked the snickering octopus.

"Come on now, don't be shy," Korosensei laughed. In the background, all the students dressed as demons and devils started cavorting and cheering. I glanced up at the sky; while this place might _count_ as a Bald Mountain, it wasn't exactly night... "You simply _must_ get in on the cosplay action! Or don't you find the outfits suitable?"

As Professor Bitch looked up at Karasuma, hearts all but visibly drifting off of her, I couldn't help but snicker. Korosensei definitely knew.

"Oh darling, think of our first night together..." Professor Bitch murmured, blood dripping from her nose.

"Not a chance!" he roared.

Korosensei stood up and wiped non-existent sweat from his non-existent forehead. "Whew!" he said. "Alrighty then. That oughta be enough for all the campus photos." Wait what.

Suddenly, I was tucked securely in a massive traveling bag. Wait what? "Hang on a minute!" Terasaka shouted.

"You mind telling us why the heck we're all stuffed in a giant purse?" Maehara called.

"Alas," Korosensei sighed, "campus photos alone are not nearly sufficient. What's needed now are mementos of a world tour!"

I glanced at Karma, who was sitting next to me. "I'm starting to regret coming to class today," I sighed.

"We'll probably live," he said.

"You're insane!" Terasaka shouted at Korosensei.

Maehara shouted, "What are you gonna do?"

"I'm not a fan of probably," I said to Karma.

"Probably shouldn't have come to class today, then."

I snorted and rolled my eyes.

"Nue-heh-heh-heh," Korosensei laughed. "Nonsense! I promise this'll be fun. A little time, a little effort, a little ingenuity..." His tentacles threated through the straps of the purse and latched onto two upright flagpoles. I realized _exactly_ what he was going to do, and whimpered. Korosensei heaved back, and the flagpoles bent towards us. "And voila!" he declared.

Half of us were watching him with concern, while the other half were staring dubiously at the flagpoles.

"Gum Gum... Slingshot!" Korosensei exclaimed, letting go.

We all screamed as we were launched into the air.

* * *

"Just... how many hundreds... of thousands... of pictures did we take," Maehara panted.

"We went to thirty countries in a single day," Isogai moaned from where he was sitting on his desk, bent double to catch his breath.

I guzzled water, ignoring how the ice-cold sensation burned my throat a little. I needed liquid, damn it. "No time for sightseeing," I rasped as I finished the bottle and cracked the next one. "We were on the move as soon as he snapped a picture..."

"And look how tired the ringleader is," Nakamura said. Korosensei was leaning halfway out of the window, spraying oxygen out of a can into his mouth. Karma raised a knife, but it fell back down weakly. Even the hardiest of us - myself, Karma, and Terasaka - were wiped out. "Why's he going this far for a graduation album?"

"Nue-heh-heh-heh," Korosensei laughed, panting. "Because I enjoy it," he told us. "Since I knew I would, I was willing to make the effort. No matter how much time and effort it took, and no matter how far it stretched me. Being able to enjoy yourself is the most important thing," he said solemnly. "I'd like all of you, children, to find a place like that for yourselves too."

I glanced at him, and then shook my head as I cracked another bottle of water. I guess I had fun, even if I was exhausted.

Nagisa asked me to come with him to the preschool, and I agreed; he was going to be giving Sakura her 'graduation test' to make sure she'd be ready to go back to school once the new year started, so as the general tutor for subjects Nagisa was weak in I would be able to help out if need be.

Along the way, Nagisa seemed a little distracted, which I didn't mind. I was just enjoying the cool air as we walked. Cold, yes, but not terribly so. My jacket was enough for me.

Sakura stared at the test in front of her. "So all I really need to do is pass this test?" she asked me and Nagisa. Mostly Nagisa; he was her personal tutor, after all.

"Uh huh," the blue-haired boy said. "Just think of it as your ticket for Back-to-School confidence. If you can handle what's on here, you ought to be able to breeze through first term without any trouble. And, in your free time, you can adjust to your new environment."

"Right..." Sakura flipped the page over and started working, filling out the questions.

I watched as her writing rhythm suddenly slowed and then stopped. Her hand was shaking, and a few notes of her melody drifted out of tune. I thought back over what she'd told us in passing, almost by accident - she'd been bullied, picked on by the bigger kids, until she stopped going to class. A few of the techniques Nagisa and I had taught her gave Sakura the ability to surprise the bullies a few times, like when she'd showed up just for the one test... But that wouldn't work if she was going to be going to school regularly.

I frowned as her breathing started to become erratic. Listening closely, the melody was starting to fall apart from the chaotic notes, and just as the discord was at its peak-

-Nagisa struck, pressing his fingers to her neck.

It was like he'd paralyzed her, almost, as the notes smoothed away to a single, clear tone. I raised an eyebrow, but didn't say a word. Nagisa's assassination techniques might not have been _designed_ for this, but they were certainly effective.

You might even say he... killed her stress.

Heh.

"Nagisa?" Sakura whispered.

The boy smiled. "You've got this. Just stay calm. Focus on the here and now. Believe in yourself."

She looked at him, before turning back to the paper, eyes focused. "Okay," she said.

I grinned. Nagisa was a pretty good teacher after all, huh.

He's not fast like Korosensei. He's not invincible like Korosensei, or smart like Korosensei. Still... I can tell he's going to be a teacher just like Korosensei.

...

The next day, it was our final career counseling session. Once we were done, we could go home - so most of the class had already vanished. Nagisa's bag was sitting on his desk, and I was simply reading in the back casually. Given my particularly unique situation, I felt it would be better to let the others go first.

Plus, this way I got to kick back and do some reading.

Nagisa came into the room smiling and waved to me. "I'm done, Nick," he said as he collected his bag. "See you tomorrow!"

"Yeah, see ya," I said absently as I hefted my own bag, tucking the book away as I stood up. Time to go face the music.

I knocked on the door and slid it open; Korosensei was sitting in his chair, scribbling on a piece of paper. "Hello, Nick," Korosensei said.

"Hello sir," I replied, setting my bag down by the wall. "The others are all gone, I'm the last one."

"I see," he said. "Well, enough about that. Where are we on that question I asked you in our last meeting?"

I took a deep breath and held it, closing my eyes.

Yeah. I knew my answer now.

I opened my eyes and smiled peacefully. "I'm not taking the job because it's there. I'm choosing to work at RATH because I enjoy programming," I said. "And I'm sure I'd enjoy any number of full-time careers, so that's not a big deal. If this job doesn't pan out, or if it's time to move on, I won't be heartbroken. Because," I said, "as long as I have my family, I'll be happy. Seeing the people I love smile makes me happy."

Korosensei's smile widened as his face turned orange and I heard the ringing sound of a correct answer. "Excellent choice, Nick," he told me. "That suits you."

I smiled. "I know."

He placed a tentacle on my head as he stood up. "You're not in the exact situation as the rest of the class," he said. "You're older, with more experience. But don't let that experience weigh you down, Nick. You can still keep swimming forward."

Laughing, I ducked away and picked up my bag. "Okay, Korosensei," I said. "And... thank you for everything."

"Not at all, my boy."

"See you tomorrow, sir."

It was almost dark by the time I left, the setting sun crimson in the sky, and I clicked my tongue. Walking home at night still wasn't enjoyable, even though I'd managed to more or less break myself of the phobia of the dark. My assassination training let me feel intentions of people around me, in a manner of speaking, so it wasn't like someone could sneak up on me. That plus the general situational awareness I'd developed over the years meant that the darkness was just a pain to find my way in, nothing more. It took a while, but I reached my home safely.

That's when a pillar of red light lanced down from the sky.

* * *

I realized something was wrong when my shadow abruptly bloomed in front of me, stretching onto my front door. I whipped around, staring at the pillar in the distance. That was from... the direction of the school!

"Ritsu!" I snapped, digging my phone out and mashing at the connect button. "We have problems!"

"Mmn..." Ritsu mumbled, rubbing her eyes sleepily. "What's...?"

I shook my head. "Something just happened and I don't know exactly what, but I think it's related to that assassination Karasuma mentioned a few weeks ago. Remember, on Valentine's Day?"

Ritsu gasped. "Oh no! Is Korosensei...?"

"I don't know," I said, hurrying towards the bus stop. "I'm going to check."

As I moved down the streets, effortlessly slipping through the crowd, I started messaging the others in E Class. As I was sending the message out, telling them I was nearby and heading to check things out, another bright light shone.

This one was orange instead of red, and was shooting out from the city, aimed towards the school, instead of coming down from the sky. It joined with a few other beams of light and formed a ring around the mountain our classroom called home, and I snarled.

As a foggy orange barrier rose up, the bright ring formed by the lasers acting as the equator, I knew what was happening.

The world, in an instant, had suddenly changed.

Before I could get more than a few blocks towards the school, I received orders from Karasuma. I was to be evacuated from my apartment - since I lived 'too close to the school', or some such drivel - and would be housed in a hotel for an unknown duration.

As I started searching for the most expensive hotel I could find – thanks for offering to pay for everything, Karasuma, I'm ordering _so much room service_ – my phone buzzed again, with additional orders. These ones looked like they were going out to everybody. 'All of you are to await on standby at your homes. Until you receive permission, your task is to not discuss this with any other person.'

We were forced to stand by and do nothing.

As I headed towards the gathering of E Class - because _naturally_ we weren't going to just sit by and do nothing while there was a chance we could stop whatever was happening - I passed by armored vehicles, setting up blockades on the road. I knew that there would be blockades on every main road leading to the mountain.

The buildings housing the machines that were emitting the lasers forming what I guessed to be Korosensei's cage had turned into a stronghold almost overnight. There was even a limit on how close someone without the proper clearance could approach.

"No entry within 100 meters was allowed," Maehara exclaimed, talking to Ritsu. "What's happening to Korosensei? I can't get through to his cellphone!"

Ritsu shook her head, holding an unplugged cord. "I'm unable to communicate with the classroom where my main body is located. All power lines connected to the mountain have been cut off."

I frowned. "Will your main body be okay?" I asked, feeling a little knot inside me relax when Ritsu nodded.

"...My house is the closest to school," Fuwa said. "And the country has ordered me to evacuate."

I raised my hand. "Same here. My apartment was too close, so I got the boot."

"There's so many soldiers," Kayano murmured. "I think there's more than ten thousand people in this little town right now..."

We had been foolishly naive. We'd somehow thought that because Korosensei wasn't going to blow up the Earth, things would be okay. Things would end peacefully.

Instead, the government took action. They had everything in place and left nothing to chance; while I give the Ministry of Defense crap mainly because they employ people like Kikuoka, I can't deny that the full might of the government acting in concert is effective. Down to the last, maddening detail.

Ritsu let out a small chime. "Everyone," she said, "look at your phones!"

When we did, I frowned, confused. "I have no idea who that is, but he looks important," I said casually, staring at my phone. There was somebody wearing a suit standing at a podium, with the flag behind him. A politician of some sort? Whoever he is, he's probably about to talk about the giant light that just happened.

I feel like I sorta recognize him, but every time I try to think about, I get sidetracked by the random memory of the color of Takebayashi's underwear that time we helped out Mr. Matsukata. It's really weird and a little jarring.

"That's the Prime Minister," Ritsu informed me.

I should probably know that. "Whoops," I said with a light chuckle.

"As you can see," the Prime Minister said, "these measures serve to contain and eliminate the clear and present danger to mankind's existence. Thanks to the shield, Shield of Earth, the entity in question now has no place to go.

"As it turns out, this is the creature responsible for the moon's destruction last year. We've only learned today that this creature - this monster, rather - has not only made explicit threats involving the destruction of Earth, but has been posing as a _teacher_ of all things, in order to take a class of junior-high school children hostage. We don't know why, but the evidence speaks for itself. We have no choice."

My breathing hitched. I'm not stupid, I can see exactly what he's doing, by announcing things this way. By telling the truth but shading it perfectly, everyone in the country - or even the world, perhaps - would see that Korosensei alone was the enemy. We were just poor, poor students that got caught in the crossfire.

I forced myself to relax my grip on my phone. I didn't want to crack it.

I looked up at the sky, staring at where I could see a new brilliant star, shining brighter than the moon. Spear of Heaven, huh? The superweapon that was going to be used to destroy the superbeing.

Eh, those names suck. Gungnir and Aegis it is, then. …I'm mixing mythologies, but I don't care.

But... we would have until March 12th, as some other suit announced. The day before we would graduate, and the Earth 'might' be destroyed.

"...They can't just go sayin' that kinda stuff on their own," Terasaka growled, literally trembling with anger. "What the hell are they tryin' to pull?!"

A glance went around the students, and we all starting running, heading straight for the school. Our final mission begins now. Remaining time until Korosensei's assassination...

Seven days.

I was aware enough to pass on to the others that I'd seen the roads being blocked, so the class was able to take advantage of our knowledge of the city layout to slip through alleyways without slowing down too much. As we circled in to the school, I licked my lips. There was no way we were going to get in without a fight, so...

Sure enough, we all skidded to a halt at the sight of a full line-up of soldiers, completely blocking all entrance to the school. I glanced left and right curiously, but as far as I could see the soldiers' line stretched out. We couldn't even slip around, huh.

The soldiers suddenly jerked at our appearance from the darkness. "Hey! Who're you?" one soldier shouted.

"Let us pass!" Yoshida, braver or foolhardier than the rest of us, tried to break through the line. Of course, the soldiers put their hands out, and we were only junior-high kids. There was no way we'd be able to get through them. "We're students in that classroom!" he shouted, jabbing a finger at the mountain.

"We want to go through!" Hara shouted. "Into the barrier, to see Korosensei!"

"Stop! Don't be rough with the students!"

Immediately, the soldiers stopped trying to force us back and settled for keeping us in place. I turned, seeing Karasuma rush over from behind the line of soldiers. "Mr. Karasuma!" Mimura exclaimed.

He joined us - and faced us, his back to the shoulders. I sneered. Of course he'd be on their side, why wouldn't he? He's an agent in the end. "What the heck is that?!" Isogai exclaimed, pointing at Aegis. "We never heard anything about this!"

"And that announcement, made it sound like Korosensei was completely evil," Kanzaki said.

Karasuma frowned. "Even I didn't know anything about this until just before it happened. If you guys had any foreknowledge of this assassination, they were afraid that he'd catch wind of the plan."

I gritted my teeth. I should have said something to Korosensei. But... Damn it. I'd talked to the class, let them know what I'd overheard on accident, and we'd decided to keep silent about everything, out of some sense of... I don't know. Conceit? Arrogance?

I want to say it's my fault, but... I can't. This is the government's doing, and I had no way of knowing what the attack would be, or where it would come from, or when it would happen. Telling Korosensei would have earned us nothing, in the end. The class had kept quiet, but even if we'd been shouting it from the rooftops, what would have changed? Right now, I can't focus on what could have been, I have to focus on what _is_.

"And," Karasuma continued, "that proclamation was made with your futures in mind. By saying you were held against your will, the focus won't be on you. Make sure you all have your story straight!" he barked.

A few of us lowered our heads, conflict written on their faces. "No," Kataoka finally declared, "we can't agree to that. Please, let us see Korosensei."

Karasuma's face might have been chiseled from stone, by how much our pleas moved him. "No," he replied flatly. "The situation will only get worse if you go in and get taken as hostages."

"Wh- Korosensei would never -" Okano started to shout, before rabble from behind us caught her attention.

Suddenly, bright lights bloomed over all of us. I winced, shielding my eyes and squeezing my left eye shut tight. I didn't want to ruin my night vision.

"There they are!" a woman shouted. As my right eye adjusted, I growled under my breath, rolling my shoulders.

The vultures arrive. Fucking reporters.

"Are you the poor children the monster's been holding hostage?" the first reported asked us. Meanwhile, cameras were rolling, with shutters flashing and clicking nearly constantly. "Can you give us a few words?"

"When did it first dawn on you that you were being held against your will?" "Are you relieved that he's finally been captured?" "How did it feel knowing your teacher was dangerous?" "Can you tell us what it was like being in a classroom with a teacher that could explode at any minute?" "What about the allegations that he was training you to be assassins?"

The rapid-fire hail of questions set my blood boiling, but I wasn't the first one to explode. "That's enough!" Muramatsu raged. "It's none of your freakin' business!"

"Do some basic fact-checking, people," Yada said, surrounded by a circle of reporters. "The probability of Earth blowing up is less than one percent! Our teacher's not as dangerous as he's been made out to be!"

"Please," Kurahashi cried, "leave him alone! The stuff they're saying about him isn't even true!"

As she hid her head, tears in her voice, I heard some reporter jackass say to his cameraman, "Yeah, perfect! Here's the human angle we've been looking for!"

Instantly, my temper, held together by a thin piece of string at this point, snapped. Kurahashi!

"Are these your own words, or simply what the monster told you to say?" a woman asked, shoving a mic in Kurahashi's face. "We know it must have been awful. You're in a safe place, let it all out."

I saw Kataoka pointing at Kurahashi, saying something to Isogai, but I was already moving to block her from the cameras. "It seems you've gotten your facts wrong," I said, my voice chilly. My sibilants hissed richly. "Our words are our own. If anything, _you're_ the ones putting words in our mouths."

"Clearly, these boys and girls are devastated," the woman said, turning to the camera. "Possibly suffering from Stockholm Syndrome. No doubt the trauma inflicted on them by this reprehensible creature runs deep."

"Bitch, don't start with the trauma," I muttered. I didn't want to get caught on camera and give them more ammo.

Before I could lose what little was left of my self-restraint and start smashing cameras, Isogai swept in. "Guys! Let's head back for now," our class leader said. "There's no end to the guards and media! Nothing we say is going to reach them!"

I heard a ragged chorus of groans, before we all bolted. I made sure Kurahashi was moving before I turned and darted away myself, ignoring the shouts of the reporters behind us.

Fucking vultures.

Once we were far away, in an empty parking lot, we stopped to catch our breath. "So guys..." Yoshida asked between pants, "now what?"

"...At any rate," Kataoka said from where she was comforting Kurahashi, "I want to get a good grasp of the situation, since it doesn't look like they're interested in sharing."

"Okay," Isogai said, "let's split up and scout out the perimeter of the barrier and projectors. We'll meet up here again after we finish and hold a strategy meeting. And..." he said, "I can't say it very well, but I don't want to just let it end like this."

We all nodded in agreement.

Despite the confusion, we began to move. "Okano, take Maehara and a few others and circle left. Kimura, you grab two people and go right," I said, rattling off orders. This was my time to shine; as a tactician, I knew what information I needed, and who to send to get that information. "Mimura, Sugaya, take two more get some rough troop layouts for us. Let's see... Yada, Hara, anyone else confident in their people skills, split up with the mechanical-skilled students and see if you can find a weakness in the Aegis generators' security." They were a ring. We take one down, we might be able to shut the entire Aegis down. "Everyone else, scatter in teams of three and four, we need as much intel as possible."

Nodding as my classmates chorused agreement and split apart, going off to their missions, I slumped against the wall and sighed, burying my head in my knees. "You okay?" Kurahashi asked me. I looked up to see her standing in front of me, seeming a little better.

"Yeah," I said. "Just... tired of people pitying me. I've never needed their pity. I've never _wanted_ it." Fuck... After Aincrad, there were so many experts more than willing to share their opinion about how I, and the rest of the children stuck in SAO, were oh-so-damaged. Yeah, we were fucked up, and yeah, we knew it. Didn't mean the rest of the world had to tell us. "It just gets to me, a little bit."

She hummed lightly. "Well... I just wanted to say thanks. For standing up to those reporters earlier," she said.

I laughed. "Seems to be a habit of mine," I sighed. "But hey, no problem. You looked like you were in need of assistance."

Kurahashi left with Kataoka after that, leaving me all alone in the parking lot. After a few more seconds, I pushed myself up and shook my head, like a cat shaking off water. "Alright, Nick," I said to myself. "Enough moping, let's rock."

I wasn't sure what I was going to do. What I should do, what the best thing was, or whether those were even the same option. But... No. I wasn't going to let _this_ be the end of my time in E Class.

We can't get up to Gungnir in time. There's no way, just flat out. So, destroying the assassination weapon is out of the question. Our best bet, then, was to take out Aegis; the second option, of course, would be to take out the person _wielding_ the weapon. That's what I was looking for - the mobile operation center, where whoever was in charge of this rodeo would be hiding.

By the time the sun finished setting, though, I hadn't found shit. Like we'd decided, everyone returned to the parking lot. "Report," I said distractedly, staring at the images Sugaya and Mimura had crafted for me. Isogai and Kataoka were on either side of me, studying their own phones.

I'm strangely reminded of a boss planning session. Well, if the shoe fits...

"Summing up," Maehara said, "the whole perimeter is totally guarded. No gaps we could find at all."

Fuwa said, "Any external contact with Korosensei is totally cut off. We're sure of that." She'd gone with Takebayashi, I think.

"At the bases," Hayami said, "there appears to be preparations for more reinforcements. By tomorrow, any holes we might have found would be sealed up totally."

I hissed out a breath, staring at the shining light of Gungnir. So, the defenses are impregnable, there's no calling for backup, and if we don't win now we'll never succeed.

Eh. I've dealt with worse.

"We could bust in by force," Karma offered, hands in his jacket pockets. "Like tonight, maybe."

Isogai glanced at him. "...I guess," he said. I cracked a small grin.

Yada clenched her hands. "And after that, we can explain everything to the whole world. Like, how we were feeling, and stuff."

Lights bloomed behind her.

With a squeal of tires, two black vans skidded to a halt on either side of us, boxing us in. I shoved my phone into my pockets as hooded men jumped out.

That second of hesitation was my downfall. They moved like the wind, instantly restraining all of us. I was barely able to duck past the first grab at me - only to be grabbed from behind. Someone wrenched my hands behind my back and locked them there with a click. Cloth slipped over my eyes, before I was roughly moved and then shoved somewhere. I toppled forward with a grunt, only to hear a car door slam and car engines roar. Acceleration pressed down on me.

Finally, I was able to get my bearings. We'd been captured, in just a split second. I was in one of those vans, probably with other students judging by the warm bodies around me. We were being taken somewhere. I tested my bonds experimentally, but nothing. They were securely cuffed; I could theoretically slip out of it if I dislocated my thumb, but I'd never actually learned how to do that and I had no way of dislocating it anyway.

My only option, unfortunately, is to wait and see where we're going.

After a while, we were roughly hauled out of the vans and marched forward. I was tempted to go dead weight, just to be as obnoxious as possible, but a feeling of pressure behind me made that seem like a bad idea. Whoever had captured us, they were dangerous.

"Let us go!" Terasaka shouted. He was in front of me. "What do you think you're -"

«That was fast,» a man said. «I expect nothing less from you, Houjou.»

«I've taken them under my care without a scratch, Commander.»

My eyes widened under the blindfold. «Oh, it's Scarface,» I said brightly. «Hi, Scarface! You're the one who captured us, huh? And I guess the bully boys in the hoods are your pack of perverts?» Okay, fine, so I was a _little_ mad at the rough treatment. Might not be the best idea to rile them up, but hey, I was mad.

The blindfolds were removed with a yank, and I glared up at the thug who'd removed mine, baring my teeth at him in silent threat. A thud off to the side caught my attention and I saw Karma glaring up at the hooded man who'd shoved him. «Been a while, wimpy boy,» Karma's captor sneered as he pulled off his hood, revealing an eyepatch. Hm.

I glanced around the room, taking in the surroundings automatically. Clean, austere, this was definitely some sort of military base. I could see rows of monitors through an open door, with operators sitting at them. Were we taken to the control center?

More importantly, standing in front of Scarface, and probably the guy Scarface had called Commander, was a white-haired man. He was skinny and wrinkled, with glasses. He looked kinda like what you'd get if you crossed the archetypal bureaucrat with an old racist grandparent.

«...Where are we...?» Kanzaki asked finally.

«The headquarters of this operation,» Commander said. «It's a facility we're borrowing from the Ministry of Defense.» I frowned. «And you kids will be placed here under our protection until the assassination is over.»

I barked out a short laugh, even while the rest of the class was stunned. Guess I'm just more used to these sorts of hostage situations. «Protection better be in massive air quotes, since I feel more threatened now than I did ten minutes ago.»

Commander looked at me, scowling, and I grinned back mockingly. «We've already contacted your parents,» he continued, evidently giving up on trying to get me to stop. «We told them it was to guarantee the peace and safety of the kids caught up in the storm, you see.»

«Ah, so you lied directly to their faces. A bold strategy that will definitely hold up in court.»

A hand gripped my head firmly. «Quiet,» the man said, and I listened to him. When a heavily-armed man prepared to cause you severe bodily injury tells you to do something, you do it.

"You gotta be kidding me," Terasaka grunted.

«Th-That doesn't matter to us!» Hara exclaimed. «Please, just wait on killing Korosensei! Isn't the probability he'll explode less than one percent? You don't have any reason to kill him!»

Commander smirked, adjusting his glasses. «This may be hard for kids like you to understand, but whether it's one percent or a hundred, the public will still call for him to be killed. To the masses, a little fear is enough to spark a fire, and reason won't apply. So long as there's a chance, the uproar and pandemonium will continue.»

Oh. You mean all that uproar and pandemonium that _you_ caused, you stupid shitheel? _That_ uproar and pandemonium?

I really, really wanted to say that, but the grip on my head kept me quiet. I wouldn't get hurt too badly, but at the same time I didn't want to risk it.

«Moreover,» Commander continued, «one percent may just be a figure, but should we really wager the _planet's_ survival on that figure?»

Terasaka looked at me. I glanced at the soldiers surrounding us, and then nodded with a grin.

«Additionally, in his past life, he was a fearsome and brutal hitman, wasn't he? Do you realize what could happen if we let him live? Spare a few thoughts for how his victims would feel.»

I couldn't let this one slide. «They'd feel nothing. Because they're _dead_.»

«Yes, but what about their loved ones? Their descendants?»

«He was the Reaper, I doubt they even know he existed.»

«Still,» Commander said, raising a hand to his face in faux resignation, «his death is simply his just desserts.»

That was when Terasaka slammed a kick into the idiot's face. «It must be real convenient, having a perfect little argument to justify your scummy actions!» he shouted. I noticed that Eyepatch was trying not to laugh. Good. They don't like their boss. «And who are you, anyway?!» Terasaka shouted at Commander, who was lying against the wall with what looked like a broken nose and a broken pair of glasses. «You're just some nameless shmuck as far as we know!»

«How rude!» Shmuck shouted. «My name is-»

«At any rate,» Scarface said smoothly, cutting him off, and I shivered. That guy was still terrifyingly dangerous. «You all seem to have been completely brainwashed by that monster.»

I'd do a jerk-off motion, but my hands are cuffed. I had to settle for aggressively rolling my eyes. I moved my head and everything, too.

«Take them away,» Scarface ordered.

«Roger,» replied Eyepatch. Scarface is in command, nominally under Shmuck's control, and Eyepatch is second? Got it.

«I shall also take my leave here,» Scarface said, turning dramatically. I bet he practices that in the mirror. «After all, my duty is to keep watch around the barrier, so that groups like you won't enter the school.»

* * *

I watched the TV, relaxing on the couch. Not like there was much else to do, huh... "On top of allowing a monster into your academy," a reporter shouted, "you let it force its students into carrying firearms! Have you even considered the emotional scars these experiences could leave in those children's hearts?!"

I almost felt sorry for the reporter in question. After all, he was at the press conference hosted by Principal Asano.

"If you call yourself an educator," the man shouted, "you should have fought that damn monster! You should've protected those students with your life!" Pretentious idiot.

I watched as Principal Asano adjusted his tie, his fingers brushing the golden oak leaf tie pin. I could see what he was thinking, a little; as the principal, his easiest solution would be to just find a scapegoat. "...I simply hired him because I believed that he would be beneficial to the children's education," Principal Asano finally replied. My eyes widened for a second, before I huffed out a quiet laugh. "If I had deemed that monster to be an unworthy instructor, he would have been fired a long time ago. That is all there is to it."

Naturally, the reporters kept shouting questions as the principal walked off the stage, but the news station cut back to their anchors. "Who would have thought," I said casually. "The principal, defending us."

"I know, right?" Sugino said. "Now that he's on our side, things might be okay."

"Hm," was all I had to say. I just don't know how much work he could do; he was just one man. And by refusing to find a scapegoat, his career was essentially over...

While the talk show hosts babbled on and on, I looked around. We were all in varying stages of discontent; we were in our own little room, with just the TV on the wall for entertainment. There was a vending machine just beside it, and I saw Kayano getting a snack of some sort.

The room was blank and featureless, besides the few couches that were bolted to the ground. We were all wearing the same thing, too, long-sleeved shirts and ill-fitting pants. "They even took our clothes," Sugaya sighed, tugging at his collar.

"They probably did that just in case we had weapons on us," Sugino said, taking a drink of the soda Kayano offered him. I accepted the water bottle she'd grabbed me with a smile and a murmured thanks. "It's like we're prisoners."

"Seriously," Fuwa sighed. "They're treating us like they don't care about us at all."

I glanced back at the TV to see some stuffed shirt with too many psych degrees and too few braincells rambling on about Stockholm Syndrome. It's too bad that it's not applicable here, but it's too good an excuse for the public not to eat it up. Oh, it's not our fault, we're just victims!

After that, it cut to some idiot comparing the chance of the Earth's eradication to winning the lottery. Well yeah, but getting hit by lightning is also more likely than winning the lottery. Basically the lottery sucks, and it's just a useful comparison for people trying to make a false comparison. Did you know, I'm statistically more likely to have a rabid wolverine shoved down my pants than win the lottery? Regardless if it's true, and I have no idea if it is, it _sounds_ plausible.

"...Why won't anyone actually listen to what we have to say?" Kurahashi asked plaintively.

Nobody answered for a few seconds. "Above us," Hazama finally said, "there's the worst-case scenario right there. Junior-high kids against the leaders of the world, it's obvious which side is easier to believe."

Terasaka flipped the channel. Unfortunately, every news station was talking about this, and those were the only channels we got. I'd kill for some cartoons right now, I think. Possibly literally. "...This is a violation of basic human rights!" the host was saying. "The children will likely be traumatized for the remainder of their lives... The immediate commencement of their psychological care is advised."

I snarled.

"I can't imagine," some old woman off the street said. "They're only babies, who could do such a thing? As far as I'm concerned, this devil deserves whatever they do to him."

Around me, my classmates were gritting their teeth.

"As a mother," some woman sobbed, "just thinking about that boy's pain..."

They all stared hollowly at the screen. This was their first time experiencing the pity from complete and total strangers. As for me, I punched the wall.

The stinging pain kept my anger in check, so when the door opened behind us I merely looked instead of snarling. "Five minutes," the soldier guarding our door said. "Strictly speaking, even you're not allowed access here."

"Mr. Karasuma!" the class exclaimed.

"...Please," Nagisa pleaded. "Get us out of here," he said. "Let us go to school."

"Yeah!" Kimura exclaimed. "You should be able to do that much at least, right Mr. K?"

The soldier behind Karasuma raised his hand and shook his head. Karasuma closed his eyes.

"Your detention," the agent said, "is a direct result of your own impatience. Right now, I can't do anything." Nagisa looked stunned. "If you really wanted to get there, you should have just waited. Once all the guards were in position, the perimeter would have become significantly less jittery and the soldiers would have eventually let their guards down. Day five, or around there," Karasuma said. "If you'd waited until then, you could have broken through without the perimeter noticing.

"Even so," he sighed. "Even if you'd managed to get past the soldiers at the base of the mountain, you would all have been caught on the way to the building. The ones responsible for guarding that area are comprised of an elite force... The ones who recently abducted you all.

"A group of soldiers known as the Wolfpack. They are experts at guerilla warfare. They have less than thirty members, but these men are renowned and infamous throughout the forests and jungles around the world. They're the best candidates for defending an area that large with only a handful of members.

"And the head of those elites," Karasuma said grimly, "is Craig Houjou, also known as the 'Divine Soldier.'"

Oh good. Another Paladin. Joy. At least I have a name for Scarface. Houjou, huh?

"His combat prowess is legendary," Karasuma said. "Tearing apart a lion with his bare hands is child's play for him." I raised an eyebrow. Yeah. Uh huh. Sure. "Add to that the experience of being on countless live battlefields across the world... He's undoubtedly the ultimate soldier. I saw him up close in person for the first time just now, and trust me when I say he lives up to his reputation. In fact, saying he's three times as powerful as me wouldn't be an exaggeration. That's why," Karasuma said, closing his eyes, "your work's done here."

"No it's not!" Nagisa shouted. "There's too much we haven't talked to him about! So many things we wanna try! If you're not gonna help us," he shouted, stepping up to Karasuma, "then get out of our -"

Karasuma grabbed him and effortlessly slammed Nagisa to the ground. The class gasped in shock. "Request denied," Karasuma said flatly. "You know I can't let you in there. National security's on the line right now. Now, you listen, and you listen good," he said, hoisting the disoriented Nagisa up. "Do _not_ give me a hard time."

My eyes widened.

Ah. I get it. I get it! That's... brilliant, actually.

"Is that clear?" Karasuma growled.

Crystal, sir.

"Give it up, Nagisa," Karma said from where he was leaning against the back of the couch. "He's not on our side. Just another stiff-collared company man. When it's down to the wire," he said, looking away from Karasuma, "the only thing a guy like him does is follow orders."

"You're damn right," Karasuma said. "My orders are to protect the people I'm entrusted with at all costs. The bottom line, one way or another, he has to be killed. Who does the honors is up to you. I suggest," he said, turning and walking to the door, "that you all cool off and think this matter through for yourselves over the course of the next three days."

His footsteps echoed in the quiet room. The soldiers guarding us opened the door and ushered him through before following him, closing the heavy door behind them. Once more, we were alone in the secure area.

"Son of a bitch!" Terasaka exploded, kicking at the couch. "Do you believe this bullshit?"

"Chill out," I said, sitting down and closing my eyes to better remember the conversation. "Didn't you notice?"

"What?" Terasaka asked me.

"He made it pretty obvious he wants us to take action," I said. Security would be locked in by the fifth day... We'd probably be able to sneak in then. "That's why he was slipping us information. The soldiers will relax after the fifth day. There's a small group of elites in the mountain, less than thirty members. Their leader, Craig Houjou, is three times stronger than Karasuma."

"A hard time..." Nagisa repeated. "He didn't just choose those words at random."

Terasaka snorted. "Okay, so?"

"Don't you get it?" Nagisa said. "Think back to what he said earlier. 'You've shaped up quite nicely. In fact, if I ever fall on hard times, you'll be the ones I call.'"

I nodded. "Nagisa's got it," I said. "Karasuma's hands are tied, since he's working in the system. What he was really telling us that whole time was, he believes in us. He's giving us as much intel as he can. And, that he'll respect the decision we make."

I opened my eyes to see the class staring at me. Standing up, I cracked my neck. "So, ladies and gentlemen," I said. "Shall we figure out what we're going to do?"

We know the goal. We know what we're capable of.

The only question, then, is what Korosensei would want us to do.

* * *

 **Here we are, in the endgame at last! Will E Class manage to save Korosensei? Will they kill Korosensei?**

 **(i don't know why i'm asking you, you're not the authors here)**

 **There's really three parts to this chapter – Korosensei does photos, Nick finally finishes his character arc, and then PROBLEMS. Of them all, I'm the biggest fan of finally finishing most of Nick's growth; over the course of the two books, he's gone from being a broken individual to being someone who's functional in society AND somewhat decent at handling himself. Good for him.**

 **Though Hayami snuggling a kitty is a really strong contender for best moment of this chapter, not gonna lie.**

 **Anyway, those who have only watched the show might notice some weird things happening at the second half of the chapter. This is intended; I like how the manga did things, so I'm using that instead. Craig Houjou is a better midboss than 'some rando soldier guy'.**

 **Many thanks to everyone that favorited, followed, or reviewed.**


	20. Happy Birthday Time

_I opened my eyes to see the class staring at me. Standing up, I cracked my neck. "So, ladies and gentlemen," I said. "Shall we figure out what we're going to do?"_

 _We know the goal. We know what we're capable of._

 _The only question, then, is what Korosensei would want us to do._

* * *

 **Chapter 20: Happy Birthday Time**

 **(3 Days)**

The conversation didn't really take all that long; we were mostly in agreement. We all took turns giving our points of view on the options, but it was boilerplate through and through.

First off, not a single one of us truly wished that Korosensei would die. That wasn't even in question. Of all of us from E Class, I was perhaps the most likely to kill him - but that was because I'd been hired to assassinate Korosensei, and my desire to complete the contract was separate from my personal feelings in the matter. And given the choice between killing Korosensei and letting him live, of course... Well, it was a bounty more than it was a contract, so _technically_ I wasn't going to be expected to kill him. Letting Korosensei live would be simply a refusal to go after the bounty.

Next, we were assassins. As Okano made her point, gesticulating wildly, I knew that the class was all in agreement even if nobody wanted to meet anyone else's gaze. There was no way that we'd just accept the fact that random strangers were going to be the ones to kill Korosensei. The way that they were just pushing our training to the side infuriated all of us; the training we endured over the course of the year was more than just something we'd played at.

"...So," Terasaka grumbled, fingers on his temples. I smirked - looks like all the hard thinking was stretching unused muscles. "What exactly is it that we want to do?"

Yada hummed in thought. "...That should be obvious," she said. "And I think... Korosensei feels the same way. We want to see him."

Yeah. I think we all feel the same way.

Nothing will end until we see him again.

"Alright," I said, "now that that's settled, we can hurry up and wait."

"Huh?" Okano asked. "What are you saying, Nick? We need to-"

"No, he's right," Fuwa said. "We should sit tight for now. Remember what Mr. Karasuma said - 'Cool off, and think things through over the next three days.'"

I nodded. "Like everything else, he was giving us information. There's no point in doing anything over the next few days, we won't be able to escape - but it's also a guarantee that the laser won't fire before then. On that third day, Karasuma will give us an opening. Until then... we need to be ready."

"Right!" E Class barked.

I smirked. Excellent - my classmates are on board. Well then, let's get started, shall we?

We needed to brainstorm. It was easy to scrounge up papers and a pencil; while none of us had managed to bring anything with us, the soldiers were trying to keep us more or less satisfied and not kicking up a fuss, so all we had to do was get Kurahashi to beg for the goods we need. Once we had everything, Isogai, Kataoka and I sat down to get to work.

...

Three days left.

While the three of us, assisted with others when necessary, set up plans and maps in the event we got an opportunity to escape, our classmates weren't idle. I saw Sugaya and some of the others practicing hand signals, making sure that their backs were to the security cameras placed here and there along the ceiling. Fortunately, most of the cameras were in the bedroom entrances and exits - which I'm not entirely sure _what_ that meant, though I'm not sure I wanted to know.

...

Two days left.

With the plastic silverware we were given with our meals, we all sparred; I watched as Maehara dodged Muramatsu's high kick, glancing over as Nakamura climbed over a couch to attack. Of course, Maehara's situational awareness wasn't awful, so he was able to counter her plunging stab.

They weren't the only ones, of course; Hayami and Chiba were holding practice drills while pretending to hold their guns.

"Isogai. Nick."

Karma's voice caught my attention; Isogai was writing in a notebook, but he looked up. I looked back to the papers spread out over the table - we'd made sure that the table was out of sight of the cameras on the first day, and in the rare occasion that a soldier decided to come into the room when it _wasn't_ mealtime, we could scramble to cover everything up. The maps were fine; honestly, I was just staring at the maps because I was paranoid something would go wrong.

"If we end up making it into the mountains," Karma said, "let me take point from there on out." I glanced up at him; his eyes were serious. "Please."

Isogai smiled. "...Yeah," he said finally. "I'll leave it to you, Karma. Nick, do you have any objections?"

I chuckled softly and turned the page over, looking at the flowchart of goals. "No, no, it's all yours, Karma." It's a good thing I'm content being just a tactician. Once we reached the actual execution part of the plan, barring any disastrous shift in the planning I was more useful as an elite unit. That's how I preferred it, honestly; I enjoyed the planning, and to a certain extent the reformatting on the fly, but in the end I was a solo player through and through.

Could I command? Certainly. As a member of E Class and as a tactician, being unable to deliver my strategies would make me worse than useless. It wasn't even a matter of the weight of responsibility. I had faith in us. Together, we could overcome even this seemingly insurmountable obstacle. No, the real problem was something different: I simply didn't have the _charisma_ that Isogai and Karma effortlessly exuded. I was passable at the role of leader, yes, but there were others better suited for the job right now.

And, if I'm being entirely honest, there just isn't anything quite as thrilling as taking matters into my own hands.

...

The final day.

I knew that if I looked outside, I'd see Gungnir glowing brightly in the heavens. Of course, I couldn't know for certain. Since, y'know, I was still locked up in this stupid confinement in the military base.

"...What now?" Terasaka grumbled, sitting on the couch. "There hasn't been a single opportunity for us to escape yet. Today's the day they're firing that laser."

I fidgeted awkwardly. I couldn't blame my classmates for being fidgety; I felt the need to move and _do_ something. It was like a tight red-hot coil in my gut, preventing me from sitting still. Any time I tried, the burning intensified until I had to get up and move, whether it was getting something to drink, or throwing a few punches to burn nervous energy, or just start pacing.

Each time I looked at Nagisa, I could see the despair slowly growing in his eyes. Karma's gaze, so firm the day before, was starting to go distant.

Just as I was starting my Nth lap of the room - I hadn't been keeping count - the steel door locking us away from the world let out a loud chunk as the lock disengaged. We all turned to look as someone strutted through. "Listen up!" the guard outside shouted. "You're only allowed to see their faces, okay? Man, if the higher-ups found out about this..."

"Don't worry, I understand." I blinked, momentarily taken aback by the voice of our visitor. "Just one look at them will put me at ease." Those lines sounded like they should come from a respectable teacher that's worried about her locked-up students.

Not, y'know. Not from a bitch. "Ahhh!" Professor Bitch cooed, throwing her arms out as she smiled at us. "My beloved students! I was worried _sick_ about you all!"

Everyone just stared in confusion and a little bit of despair.

Suddenly, she grasped Takebayashi's head, the poor guy flinching in surprise - before she lunged forward and drew the explosives expert into a deep kiss. Everyone yelped in surprise.

Suddenly Professor Bitch went on a kissing rampage - first Yada, then Kanzaki, then Mimura, and even Nagisa. She approached me, and I glared at her. "No," I said flatly.

"Aw, you're no fun," she simpered. "C'mere!" Before I could get away, she had me by the shoulders.

...

...Mm?!

...

I feel dirty, Kana. Please, forgive me. We can't get married anymore.

...Heh, like a kiss from Professor Bitch would stop me from being with Kana.

"How are you kids?" Professor Bitch smiled, pointing at us. I heard Mimura mumble something. "You're all doing well? Great! Then I'm out of here." Huh. That was fast.

Finally, one of the soldiers got up the courage to approach the blonde. "A-Alright, that's enough," he said.

Professor Bitch smiled sunnily at him. "Geez, there are guards outside too, you don't have to be so tense!" My eyes hardened for a second before I schooled my expression back into neutrality. "Well then," Professor Bitch said to us, blowing a quick kiss, "see ya, brats!"

Everyone fell silent as the door slammed shut again.

"W... Why the hell did Professor Bitch even come here?!" Kayano yelped, hurrying over to Nagisa. Her cheeks were bright red; guess seeing her boyfriend being kissed sent all of her panic glands into overdrive.

But Nagisa was cupping his mouth. "...Nagisa?" Kayano asked him.

He opened his mouth and spat out a small plastic baggie. Every single one of us that Professor Bitch had kissed - myself included - had an object slipped into our mouths; the one in mine was a small slip of rolled-up paper, just like Yada's. I unrolled it and scanned over the text. It was a small list of numbers and what looked like times.

"It's my explosives set!" Takebayashi smiled, wiping at his lips. Each of us had been slipped a small something, and when we all put it together, it looked like several small explosives. Takebayashi's gift was the remote detonator.

I grinned. "Well, that answers the question of when the hell we're getting out of here."

Okano frowned. "But Professor Bitch said there were guards outside," she protested.

Honestly, I'm glad someone else caught that, since it meant I got the perfect straight line. "Don't worry about that," I said, waving my piece of paper slightly. "I think we've got that on lockdown."

Blank stares.

"...Because we're locked up?" I snorted when all I got was an awkward smile from Yada, clearly trying to spare my feelings. "Hate you all."

"Maybe you should stop with the bad jokes," Nakamura snarked. "And then you'd embarrass yourself less."

I made a rude gesture in her direction. "See my previous statement regarding hating you all."

* * *

Sneaking past the guards was easy, with Professor Bitch's strangely detailed notes. She had all the guard shifts, as well as the times when we could expect the door to be mostly unguarded. Armed with that, it was simple for Takebayashi to hook up a few small bombs to the door's locking mechanisms. A press of a button later, and we were out.

Making our way out of the facility was also easy; Yada's paper had a hand-drawn map, guiding us out. At the end of the path was another locked door, to which our key was another bomb on the lock.

We crept out of the facility into the dark alley, only to be greeted by a black-clad Professor Bitch as we rounded the corner. "Still late," she said. "Even after providing you kids with a map of my perfect escape route!"

I snorted. "I was thrown by the professionalism. It's not what we expect from you."

"Stow it, brat," Professor Bitch scolded me.

Fortunately for our poor bare feet, a set of boots was set out for us. As we were slipping them on - ugh, no socks, but I feel like we have bigger problems to worry about - Yada held up the maps and said, "Professor Bitch, these..."

"Karasuma requested it," she said. "It took longer than I expected, but constantly visiting as your teacher eventually resulted in those guards opening up to me."

I smirked. "And you scolded _us_ for being slow."

Professor Bitch ignored me. "It became normal for me to join them and banter, which gave me the perfect opportunity to secure a good escape route."

Yada blinked. "How did you even manage to fit all of that equipment in your mouth?"

Professor Bitch just smirked.

"That's one of the techniques of the world's most prominent seductress," Maehara said.

"I overheard the guards saying the laser will be fired right before the clock strikes midnight," Professor Bitch told us. I glanced up at the sky to see the shining star of Gungnir. My lips curled. "I don't know how this will all end," Professor Bitch admitted. "Either way, tomorrow's your graduation day."

"This is your last class," Irina told us. "Go face it with everything you've got!"

"...Y-Yes ma'am!" the class shouted.

"Alright!" Isogai said, turning to us. "Everyone, head home as planned. They'll discover we escaped fast, so do it before the guards are alerted again."

We all turned and bolted. "Professor Bitch!" Kataoka shouted. "Make sure to bring Mr. Karasuma with you! We think you're both amazing!"

Professor Bitch stared in surprise, before smiling. "I guess I have to, huh," she said.

I smirked and turned to run for my home. The trip there was almost soothing in its familiarity, even if the streets were strangely quiet. The lack of cars on the road made my run home nearly uninterrupted.

As I cracked the door open, I made sure that I wasn't going to be suddenly arrested by a soldier keeping watch on my home. I paused just after opening the door, but the hairs on the back of my neck stayed down, and I let out a little sigh of relief. My home hadn't been invaded.

"My own little Safe Zone," I mumbled to myself as I quickly got changed. My home. Where I slept. If there had been someone waiting here, it'd be like having a mob just waiting to ambush someone at the entrance of a town. It would just shatter any faith in the rules.

After getting dressed, I slipped out of the house, shutting the door softly behind me. I started to head out, before freezing; someone had just pulled up to the entrance to the apartment complex, and I was pretty sure they were military, judging by the vehicle.

Gritting my teeth, I froze and listened. The chatter below me was... two people, back and forth. Their voices were similar in tone, but the conversation was flowing rapidly enough that it couldn't be one person talking over an earpiece. There weren't any pauses that would indicate one person speaking and then listening. I couldn't hear enough footsteps to be more than two.

Okay, that's good. There weren't enough bootsteps to be more than just the two. Now, the question was, are these people here because they know we escaped, or is this just a random check?

My mind raced. No, this probably wasn't because we'd gotten caught, or there would be a _lot_ more of them to restrain us. They wouldn't send the Wolfpack, of course, they were busy guarding the mountain, and while they might have ignored Karasuma's warnings, I doubted the military would underestimate us after the skills we've shown in the past.

Only two of them? Yeah, this was just a routine check. In that case...

I waited until I heard the footsteps going up the stairs. Once they were in the stairwell - and thus not in one of the hallways - I stood up, cracked my knuckles, and jumped off of the railing.

Grinning like a shark, I soared through the air before hitting the nearby rooftop and rolling. With no momentum loss at all, I kept going forward and jumped again, clearing the gap between roofs easily. I didn't care which way I was headed, I just needed to be out of the area as soon as possible.

Once I was a good distance away from the apartments, I changed course and angled towards the meet-up location.

When I got there, I was greeted by a sight I only slightly expected. "Glad to see you're all safe!" Ritsu chirped from Isogai's phone, giving us a salute. She was dressed as a pilot, for some reason. "I've kept the entire situation in check from above while you were gone!"

Ah, that's why she's cosplaying. I glanced up to see a quartet of drones flying towards us. They'd all been heavily modified by Itona, of course. "So this is the drones' charging station," Isogai said. I caught one of the drones as it swooped towards me and grinned, absently patting the top of the casing. Ritsu giggled.

"I can't believe you had something like this prepped up your sleeve, Itona," Maehara said.

"I was saving it to be my ultimate Anti-Korosensei weapon," Itona said, staring at his laptop. "Its performance peaks when paired with Ritsu. But... it looks like I'll be using it against a different enemy."

Isogai pulled up the map Ritsu had collected for us. "From the way things look, we'll only be pass through the barricade surrounding the mountains right here," he said, pointing at the furthest point from Korosensei. I sighed. Naturally. "Unfortunately, we'll have to go through the heart of the mountain."

I frowned. That _definitely_ meant we weren't going to get away with not clashing against the Wolfpack. Oh well. Maybe this was a good thing - I'd been looking forward to having some _fun_.

"Let's all meet up at this point in an hour," Isogai said as the drones took off.

An hour later, we were all crouched on the roof of a building just inside the barricade. Our uniforms were entirely black thanks to Sugaya's swift magic, and with the night sky above us there was no way any of the soldiers looking up would see us. Not that they looked up at all; they were too busy chatting light-heartedly.

I smirked. Sloppy work.

"Okay then, everybody," Isogai said solemnly. "Moment of truth, our final mission."

As one, with Karma in the lead, E Class took off running through the mountains. "Let's go," Karma said quietly, sharing a fist bump with Nagisa.

Countdown until Korosensei's deadline: three hours.

Ahead of me, Karma reached up to his collar, and my comms crackled to life. "Nick," Karma said, "take Okano and Kimura. You three are scouting ahead, so mark locations of any soldiers that you see. Not too far, though."

"Roger," we replied, pouring on the speed and pulling ahead of the rest of E Class.

As we grouped up, the two of them following behind me to my left and right, I recalled the map I'd painstakingly memorized. "Okano, take the left," I said. "Kimura, the right. I'm going straight ahead. Regroup at the fir tree if we can, otherwise I'll contact you with new orders."

"Got it," they chorused, before splitting off. The left had more rocky terrain, perfect for Okano; she was like a mountain goat. Kimura's path was more straight-lines that took advantage of his high speed. As a tactician, this was my perfect battleground to work my magic.

The path I'd chosen for myself had a punishing slope, but I took advantage of the hardy trees that thrived in the soil. They were tough, their bark hard and their branches sturdy, which made them perfect for what I needed. Launching myself forward, I kicked off of the closest tree and swung up into the tree branches, hiding myself in the leaves. With a feral grin, I started running through the trees.

The Wolfpack soldiers didn't even know I existed; to them, my movement was just the random rustling of the wind. As I passed by them, my lack of killing intent meant that they couldn't sense me. It was almost a form of self-hypnosis - I just saw them, marked them on my phone, and moved on. They were merely obstacles, and you don't try to kill walls or blocks when solving a maze, do you?

As I reached the end of our paths, I glanced back over the forest below me. I couldn't see Okano or Kimura, but that wasn't a surprise. What _was_ a bit of an issue was the mounted turret at the top of the hill where I had originally set up the meeting with my squad members. "Problem," I murmured into my comms, melting back into the woods and mixing my presence with nature. "Change in plans. Okano, Kimura, end your routes here and head back to the rest of the group. You're back under Karma's orders."

"Okay," they said, not questioning me. Have I mentioned I love having people that won't argue? It's really, really great.

After that, I switched channels back to the main group. "Karma," I said, "let me go ahead. I want to clear out a few problem children."

The boy laughed. "Getting a little antsy?" he asked. "Oh, it's fine. Go ahead."

My eyes lit up. "Thank you," I purred, closing the comms and cracking my neck.

After all, in the end, I'm a solo player. And this is my time to shine.

I was one of the best in the class at erasing my presence; only Nagisa was better, and that was because he had some strange line in to his target's psyche that I just couldn't imitate. Still, against this group that had been fighting only against humans in some distant location... The disparity in our experience is quite obvious.

After all, I'd spent a year in these mountains. Hunted a superbeing in the mountains. Had fun with a superbeing in these mountains. Was taught by a superbeing in these mountains.

I was used to seeing a half-second in the future with the aid of Future Step. But this was greater than that. I was seeing _everything_. I _knew_ that when I reached out, a branch would be waiting for me, sturdy enough for me to swing up onto it. I _knew_ that jumping to the right would land me on a patch of slippery gravel, while jumping to the left would put me on a patch of thicker than usual grass that would muffle the sound of my landing.

The three soldiers at the top of the hill didn't have a ghost of a chance.

Like a snake in the grass, I simply appeared behind them. My lips curled into a soft smile as I finally unsheathed my bloodlust. My left hand clenched around the taser I was holding.

The soldiers weren't bad at their jobs by any means, of course. As soon as I revealed myself they whirled, training their guns on me. But, of course, I'd chosen my position perfectly; the two on my left and right had to hesitate for a second, making sure they weren't about to shoot each other, and that was the moment I struck.

My hand lashed out, striking the bare neck of the soldier to my left. He dropped instantly as the taser crackled, sending electricity coursing through his body. The soldier that was behind me - previously to my right - gasped out a breath, and that was all the hint I needed. My training took over at this point, and I dropped. With a clever spin, I rolled back and knocked the legs out from my target, dropping him with a jab of the taser to the underside of his chin as he fell.

My grin was feral and mad as I straightened up, swaying back and forth to keep the third and final member from training his gun on me. His eyes studied me as I approached, and I smirked.

Those eyes have seen death.

Low chuckles broke out of me as I stalked forward. I could _feel_ the shift in his focus as I seemed to blur forward, nothing in my body language threatening. Oh, yes, he's seen death. And he's very skilled.

"Thank you," I said to him, smiling serenely. "I've always wanted to try this."

The melody of his motions reached fever pitch, and the jagged shrieks of the tones grew until every note was out of tune. His pupils dilated, and just before he squeezed the trigger -

\- I dropped my taser and slammed my palms together.

The man shattered like glass at the sudden sound, his grip on his gun going slack as his knees gave out. I didn't waste the chance I'd been given, dashing forward to close the tiny distance between us. A quick roundhouse kick to the head followed by a chokehold, and he was out cold.

A drone buzzed up the hillside, and I cracked my neck before waving to Ritsu. The drone bobbled in the air, waving back in her own unique way. I smiled before turning and heading deeper into the mountains. The more soldiers I could clear out, the better - and I was a solo player.

Clearing enemies on my own was something I was _very_ skilled at.

I could hear panicked screaming from down the mountain behind me, and I shook my head. That _had_ to be Karma, using one of the soldiers as bait for the others. These guys were definitely good with pain - the two I'd tased were already starting to recover by the time I'd managed to fully restrain them - but screaming like _that_ sounded like something I'd expect from our resident torture technician.

Shaking my head and marking the direction I was heading on my phone just so Ritsu knew, I marked the soldiers on the hill as neutralized, hopped down into the brush, and kept moving.

This was _our_ territory. We were the best assassination team on the planet, so long as we were confined to here. Assassinating my way through the rank and file, I left the completely destroyed soldiers behind. I'd taken out three on that hill, and another two on the way; that meant I'd eliminated at least a sixth of them on my own, with the rest of the team behind me. They had no chance against me, not when I could see everything and select the best methods of assassination. One was caught in a snare we'd originally set for Korosensei, and the other had been eliminated by a long-range tranq dart I fired. Neither of them had the slightest chance to see me coming. I was a storm, blowing through them without making a sound. I was the snake, hidden in the grass. I was the -

\- I froze.

There was just _one_ person standing at the top of the hill, his back to a single tree. The black-haired man was wearing glasses, and carrying a rifle in his right hand.

Craig Houjou, the Divine Soldier.

This man was at least three times as strong as Karasuma, and I could feel it. Even without his attention directly on me, I could feel some sort of animalistic intensity coming from the man. He was just standing there, and my heart was already jack-hammering in my chest. I needed back-up, I needed the other students, I need to _(kill him)_ get away as quickly as possible.

"Oh, don't leave so soon," Houjou said, smirking as he looked directly at me. "You haven't even said hello yet."

So, he _can_ speak Japanese.

I melted out of the trees and jumped down, staring up at him. "...You knew I was here," I said. It wasn't really surprise in my voice, so much as dull resignation. "What, do you have the nose of a wolf too?"

He just chuckled. "It seems you brats need to be taught a lesson," he said as he reached up to his glasses. "About the difference between a playground and a _real_ battleground." He pulled off his glasses. Instantly, every shred of my body went on high alert. This was _dangerous_. In response, I closed my eyes for the half-second trigger of Future Step, settling into the enforced calm.

It was never _really_ enforcing calm on me, of course. That was impossible, for a skill in Aincrad and later Alfheim. Instead, it was the ritual of activating it, the mental shift in what I was seeing, that sent me into a state of calmness. "Too bad," I said, my voice feeling distant. "I already know."

Craig Houjou smirked before shooting forward, hand already thrusting in a palm strike to my head as he closed in.

Instantly I was on the defensive, parrying and redirecting the blows that would send me flying if they connected. I knocked his hand up even as I ducked down so that his swinging punch would pass harmlessly over my head, only to spring backwards into a backflip to dodge as his leg shot out for my head. Seconds into the fight, and I'd already lost total control of the tempo to him. I needed to take it back!

I'd already lost this clash as an assassin by the simple fact that I was fighting. But I was a swordsman too, and damned if I was going to lose without getting a single blow in!

The next time I dodged Houjou's attack, I jumped away and landed in a skid, sliding back towards a nearby tree. Houjou lunged forward, hand hardened in a knife-hand aimed straight for my shoulder. I slammed my hand down at the base of the tree at the same time I kicked up with my leg, deflecting his strike. Leaves stacked at the base of the tree sprayed up, forcing Houjou to cover his eyes with his free hand.

I swung the sturdy branch that had been hidden in the leaves at his ribs. It collided solidly, and I smirked just before Houjou's kick sent me flying. "Look out!" I heard Nagisa shout.

The kick's strength was insane, and I bounced off of a few trees before landing in a heap. Still... I groaned, rolling over and glaring at Houjou. He had grabbed on to the bare tree, bracing himself right there. As he pushed his glasses back onto his nose, he said, "I'm almost impressed. You lasted twenty-one seconds."

I realized I was lying more or less behind the rest of my class, and groaned out, "Oh hey guys. Just dropping in." That bastard is _real_ tough.

"My apologies," Houjou said to all of us. "It seems we've severely underestimated your abilities." Kanzaki looked at me in shock, before turning back to face Houjou. "From this point forward," he said, "I'll give you a lesson you will never forget..."

Just as Houjou was about to slip his glasses off again, his hands let go of his glasses and snatched two darts out of the air. I looked over to the side to see Chiba and Hayami huddled in the bushes. "Tranquilizer darts," Houjou declared, dropping the darts. He'd actually caught them in midair. "I suggest that you use my subordinates' rifles... Without real bullets, you have no hope of matching my abilities."

"Don't you dare," I gasped out. We couldn't use live ammo, and if I wasn't in a surprising amount of pain I'd be able to focus long enough to figure out exactly why my instincts said not to.

"Well then," Houjou said, hand at his glasses again, "ready or not..."

Karma jumped at him, extendable baton swinging at his head. Houjou just smirked, swaying out of the way and harshly sweeping his rifle up to knock Karma away. "Crafty runt," Houjou muttered, still trying to take off his glasses.

Suddenly a rock shattered against the tree behind him as he managed to get out of the way just in time. He whirled to face where it had come from, only to be forced to shield his eyes as a bright light shone; Sugino was holding baseball-sized rocks, while Kanzaki stood behind him, holding one of Mimura's powerful lights and shining it at him.

Houjou covered his eyes, blinded, and everyone in the class lunged immediately. Even with all of our students attacking nearly simultaneously, Houjou was still able to dodge our attacks; the problem with that, of course, was that as each student jumped in, struck, and then jumped away, he had no solid targets to strike. And while he was busy trying to handle one wave, the next wave was approaching from his rear.

He was reduced to just fruitlessly blocking, unable to gain any tempo in the battle - exactly the situation I'd found myself in when fighting him one-on-one earlier. I smirked; the hit and run techniques I'd developed for bosses in Aincrad and taught the class for Korosensei were being put to good use right now. The boss is stronger, faster, and tougher than all of us put together. Even if we tried to run away, we'd lose; and if it turned into a conventional fight, just like the one I'd been in half a minute ago, we'd lose.

Thinking now that my mind was cleared from the pain a little, not using guns was using the right call. We weren't experienced with real guns, and he was skilled enough to draw our fire into each other.

Chiba shot another dart at him, having relocated while everyone else kept him busy; when he dodged, he was off-balance for long enough that Takebayashi was able to jump and kick his rifle out of his hand, throwing it away. We'd learned well, under Korosensei's instruction. The fundamentals of being an assassin. One of Ritsu's drones swooped down, firing a dart from the modified gun; it actually tagged Houjou's neck, forcing him to draw it out.

In an instant, everything shifted - I felt immense bloodlust pulse, and I looked around for Nagisa. The second I realized he was nowhere to be seen, I smirked.

Houjou was about to be destroyed.

Suddenly, Nagisa appeared, swinging down from tree branches; his legs were wrapped around the branches as he slammed his palms together right in front of Houjou, stunning the Divine Soldier. "Karma!" Nagisa shouted, grabbing Houjou's head as the soldier reeled. Nagisa swung off of the tree and behind Houjou, tilting his head up as Karma jumped from where Houjou had flung him earlier.

Simultaneously, Nagisa slammed his knees into the back of Houjou's head and Karma dropped his heel on Houjou's face.

The man hit the ground. Panting heavily, Nagisa and Karma straightened up. "Heh... Nagisa," Karma said. Nagisa looked up, still panting, before he grinned widely. Laughing, the two of them high-fived.

I rolled my eyes as I kicked Houjou's hand out from under him; the man, halfway upright, crashed back down to the ground and I tased him. "Idiots," I muttered, taking the chance to search him for concealed weapons. "Celebrate _after_ confirming the enemy's down."

"Dumbasses!" Terasaka shouted as some other students joined me in the party. "What do you think you're doing?! Finish what you started instead of high-fiving like losers!"

Both of the boys studiously faced away from us. Nagisa scratched his cheek sheepishly.

"Okay," Isogai said after Houjou was securely tied up. "Let's get out of here. As long as we get inside the barrier, we're within Korosensei's range!"

"...He's still conscious," Fuwa said with surprise. I realized Houjou was watching us silently.

"After everything we did to him," Kimura said. "This guy's a real monster."

Sugaya frowned. "Gives me the chills imagining what would happen if we fought this guy fairly."

Leaning down, I wiped off some of the blood spilling from Houjou's nose. "Sorry," I said. "This is what it means to be E Class." Smirking, I pushed his glasses back up. "Your glasses were slipping out of place. Be careful." His eyes widened.

Still grinning, I followed E Class as we jumped up the mountain.

...

Before long, we were standing in front of Aegis - after beating Houjou, there weren't any other members of the Wolfpack to fight. I sighed as I realized what shapes were visible in the foggy orange laser field. "Why is it always hexagons?" I moaned under my breath.

One by one, we passed through the barrier effortlessly. I glanced at the foliage and frowned; the plants and trees that the barrier passed through weren't harmed in the slightest. Still, the energy field was keeping Korosensei locked up. If I had to guess... It was a type of energy that only affected tentacle cells, just like the material our blades and bullets were made out of.

Whatever, that didn't matter right now. The path up to the school was in front of us, and we didn't waste time racing up the mountain.

As we burst out into the sports field of our campus, we were greeted by a very welcome sight. "I thought that sounded like you," Korosensei said, waiting for us in the center of the field. Everyone gasped in relief, seeing he was unhurt. "You've come so far," the octopus said. "Look at you."

There was a beat of silence before everyone started babbling at once, rushing for our teacher.

Korosensei indulged us in our happiness for a little while, but before long we had to stand back and explain things to him; after all, he'd been stuck in this perfect cage, so he hadn't heard any of the explanations. "The laser's almost fully charged," Kataoka said. I looked up at the bright red light directly above us, even brighter than before.

"So it would seem," Korosensei said neutrally. "I imagine they'll try firing the killing shot just shy of midnight. There's enough concentrated power in that baby to shut down even my Absolute Defense Form," he added, cutting off the first suggestion I was about to make. Stymied, I worried at my lower lip, staying silent.

"What do we do?" Kanzaki murmured.

"We have to leave!" Kurahashi exclaimed. "Let's try to find a way out of here! Oh, I know! You could take us as hostages or something!"

A few of the students nodded in agreement. It wasn't a bad plan per se, but at the same time it was ultimately pointless. "Unless your body is made of tentacles, or you're willing to let Korosensei kill a few of us and prove he is exactly as dangerous as they say he is," I said softly, "that won't work."

"Huh?"

I gestured at the building. "Look around, Kurahashi," I said, not unkindly. "They've already fired the laser once, and nothing seems to be amiss. The energy seems to only destroy tentacle cells, and nothing else." I sighed. "I don't think there's anything we could do to stop this laser short of... well, destroying the generators or the laser itself. It's a deadly weapon that will only ever kill the target it's been built for."

"As Nick says," Korosensei said, "there's no stopping this now, no matter how influential of a hostage I may take. I'm sorry, children." E Class gasped, while I felt a mix of pride and disappointment that I was right. "Too many people are aware of my existence."

Everyone in the class stared down at their feet, lost in thought. "You knew it'd come to this eventually," Hayami stated, the first to reach the conclusion I'd made a long time ago. "You knew all along."

"Even if I don't explode," Korosensei said, "the cat's out of the bag. We'd be fools to think the world would accept the existence of something like me. Sooner or later, they'll want me out of the picture. It's a perfectly reasonable reaction," he told us when the class seemed ready to dispute that.

"You can't tell me we couldn't have found a way around all that if we'd acted sooner!" Fuwa mumbled, clenching her fist. "We could have busted up the barrier protectors, gone on TV to try and make our case."

That would be impossible. The simple fact of the matter is, the world government cannot abide the existence of something stronger than itself. Even the existence of Korosensei - an incredibly powerful, independent monster roaming freely and beholden to no country - would destabilize everything. I hated it. I hated it so much. But it made too much sense.

"You would have met with resistance," Korosensei told her softly. "The public would decry you as dangerous, possibly demand you to be put under surveillance. And besides, the projector's defenses are impregnable. If I so much as chuck a rock at them, the answer is anti-aircraft artillery. Likely as not, even given _your_ skill, you would have been captured." He glanced my way. "There is a reason your tactician decided to infiltrate the mountain instead of attack the projectors."

A few students turned to me, and I nodded solemnly. The projectors were the only things keeping Korosensei in place under the geosynchronous satellite; were they to fall, Korosensei could just run away somewhere they'd never find him. Of course the defenses were airtight. We'd known that, discovered it when gathering data last week, but still...

"This was the perfect route for you to have taken," Korosensei said, his face orange with two red rings. The symbol that we were correct. "You maximized your skills, time, and numbers without fault. In a very real way," he continued, "my assassination represents the many disparate threads of mankind's cumulative wisdom brought together for a single purpose. What an accomplishment!" Korosensei breathed. "In truth, I'm honored."

I licked my lips. Like being the top player on a leaderboard, where everyone would aim for you first for the honor of saying he killed you. That recognition in and of itself was a reward.

"...So then," Yada said, "you're saying all the hard work _we_ put into this, has been for nothing?"

"Come now, Yada," Korosensei said, plopping a tentacle on her head. "I hardly think that's fair. Think about it," he continued. "You've journeyed to outer space. Uncovered vital information. Surely we don't call that nothing. Especially," he added, "when said information brought our classroom a much-needed ray of light. The past month may have been short-" Of course it was, it was February... "- but also uncommonly sweet. That's what it's all about," Korosensei said, tapping his tie. "The hard work gave you heart. You used every bit of what you learned to come and see me one last time. For a teacher, there is no greater happiness."

"...So time's up, is that it?"

Korosensei turned to look at Terasaka and made a little noise of confusion.

"The risk is still less than one percent!" Terasaka growled. "And I don't care what other people say, I'll take those odds any day! We've been a hell of a lot closer to you than any of those jerks running the show! They have an obligation to hear us out! The octopus isn't dangerous! He's a pervert, sure, but he's not dangerous!"

Hazama rubbed at her head. "As far as they're concerned, we're in over our heads," she muttered. "Why give delinquents the time of day, right? It's much easier to brush us off."

Muramatsu scowled. "Like we're just gonna take it? Bullshit!"

"Next time a government suit crosses my path," Yoshida spat, "I'm gonna -"

Korosensei appeared behind them in a burst of wind. One by one, he pressed a tentacle to their cheek in a light, sticky slap - except Terasaka. He shook Terasaka's head back and forth first, before turning the boy's head to face him. "Terasaka," Korosensei said. "All of you. Permit me to give you a word of advice."

He disappeared again, appearing in front of the class. "In life, we travel upstream, thrashing against the mighty current of society. More often than not, things simply won't pan out as you wished. Don't apportion blame. Society is in a circumstance of its own. Resist the temptation to renounce it. Believe me, your time and energy are far better channeled elsewhere. When hardship prevails," he said, making a disgruntled face, "say, 'That's life!' and marshal your dignity towards mitigating the disappointment as best you can. When the water calms, ask yourself, if society tosses me about like a piece of driftwood, is it wiser to stay the course? Or find another way?

"If E Class has taught you nothing else," Korosensei said to us, "take this to heart. In your assassination classroom, you don't _have_ to face hardships head on. You can run. You can hide. Launch a sneak attack, if it's not against the rules. Avail yourself of unconventional methods." I blinked. Suddenly, I'm remembering when Nagisa and I crossdressed to get into that club. Weird, but I guess it _was_ unconventional. "Whatever you choose, above all else, be determined. Don't give frustration the last word. The beauty of trial and error is that there's always hope. Never forget, when the moment calls for a decisive strike, _you_ are an assassin."

We let the passionate words sink in, before Terasaka finally snorted. "Ugh," he said. "Of all the times to lecture..."

"Nue-heh-heh-heh," Korosensei laughed. "What can I say? A lesson seemed appropriate! A good educator never passes up an opportunity to teach.

"Thank you," Korosensei told us sincerely as individual tentacles plopped on our heads. "Your rescue efforts mean more than you know. I'm embarrassed to admit that I've been holding back tears."

As the tentacles withdrew, I reached up to touch the place on my head where it had rested. Korosensei was calm and composed in this situation, where his death was inevitable and slated for less than three hours from now. The octopus in front of us was about to die and vanish from our lives forever... All because he was our teacher.

Because of us.

"By the way, Nakamura," Korosensei said, "I couldn't help but notice how delicately you carried yourself during the last battle." I raised an eyebrow. Nakamura? The crass girl we all knew? Her? _Delicate_? "And, uh... Do I smell something sweet by chance?" he asked, starting to drool.

"Your ears are as sharp as your nose," Nakamura said, grinning ruefully. "It's been exactly one year to the day since the moon blew up," she said as she reached in the satchel around her waist and drew out a cake box. "And, if I remember correctly," she said, revealing the delicacy, "Miss Yukimura designated today as your birthday."

The cake was a work of art; a ring of plump raspberries surrounding what I could guess was fluffy cake, topped with sparkling icing and a juicy-looking strawberry on top. It was all but literally glowing.

"Yeah, it's no big deal if you wanna shower me with praise for getting it here intact," Nakamura said, "but I - hey!" she yelped as soon as she realized Korosensei was too busy drooling over the cake to praise her.

"Sorry," Korosensei murmured, "but this is... my first taste of sweet in a week..."

"Don't you dare get your drool on it!" Nakamura shouted at him. "Ugh! So gross! Alright guys, let's sing!"

I hate singing Happy Birthday. On one hand, I hate having it sung to me; I dislike being the center of attention normally, and having a group of people surround me and sing loudly enough to catch extra attention was even worse. And on the other hand, I hate singing it; I was a classically-trained musician, and that meant that I could pick out all the clashing pitches in the chorus.

As everyone started singing, though, I joined in. We were a class, of course.

 _Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you!_

"Are we even allowed to use song lyrics in-" Terasaka started to ask, before Kataoka reached up and pinched his cheek. Right away, he started singing along.

 _Happy birthday dear Korosensei... Happy birthday to you!_

Once the song finished - and I stopped forcing myself not to cringe at every flat note - the class celebrated. Korosensei just sat there, staring at the flickering candle, and people started urging him to blow out the candle.

After a second, Korosensei reared back, inhaled, and -

-A black tentacle smashed into the cake, splattering it everywhere.

Everyone stared in shock as the tentacle retreated. We followed it up to the roof of the school, where two figures were silhouetted by Gungnir's light. "And many more," Yanagisawa sang tauntingly, Number Two at his shoulder. He smirked menacingly.

"Shiro," Terasaka growled.

"Yanagisawa..." Korosensei breathed.

I'd wondered how I'd feel the next time I saw Yanagisawa. After all, when he turned around and walked away, I hadn't known anything about him beyond the fact that he was somewhat of an asshole. I didn't know that he was a bastard on par with Sugou; while he might not have attempted to rape his fiancée, which gives him one tiny point over the smug shitheel I destroyed, Yanagisawa still had no hesitation throwing Miss Yukimura in harm's way just to escape. When I heard how he treated her, I'd been infuriated, on the brink of doing something I'd regret. The mad rage seemed to have decayed over time, but I still hated him for what he'd done.

I'd wondered what I would feel when I saw him next. Maybe I'd feel cold fury, or maybe hot blinding anger, for the way he treated Miss Yukimura. Maybe it would be disdain or sadistic pity, for having his dream shattered by the very specimen he sank time and money into, losing both his future and his eye. Maybe I wouldn't feel anything at all. In the end, I'd decided that the thought experiment was utterly pointless, and put the matter to rest.

Now, I knew how to feel.

"You bastard!" I snarled. "You smashed the cake! What the hell, what monster _does_ that?!"

Yanagisawa's eye gleamed. "The hour is upon us!" he said. Behind him, Number Two started writhing. "So then, permit me to give you the gift of the world's cruelest death."

Number two unzipped his weird suit a little bit. "Hello there," his voice burbled out. I couldn't see anything except two glowing yellow eyes. "You _do_ know who I am, don't you sir?"

Korosensei shuddered. "I should reintroduce him for the benefit of your students," Yanagisawa said. "This, boys and girls, is the pupil who stole the name Reaper from your teacher." As Number Two - the Reaper - strode forward, his suit shredded around him. "As of today... I take the privilege of christening him the new and improved Korosensei."

The Reaper's suit finally exploded outwards as massive black tentacles filled the air. The monster in front of us was massive - bigger than even Korosensei - looming over all of us. His shape was vaguely humanoid, with a torso and two arms; those arms, though, were massive pseudo-pods ending in writhing black tentacles. Uncountable tentacles came from both below and above the Reaper, waving in the air and squirming along the ground.

The monster had teeth and a human-like face - it was like looking at a black skull, covered in pulsing red veins. All the better, then, when the mouth cracked open as a deep laugh rumbled through the Reaper.

Gross.

Korosensei shuddered, staring up at the Reaper. The Reaper, back for round two, leapt off of the rooftop and landed in front of Korosensei, staring down at the octopus. "What's that?!" Yoshida yelped. "No seriously, crap!"

"Reaper Two Point Oh," Nagisa exclaimed as we all scrambled away from the Reaper. "The one who attacked us!"

"Okay, before it was just his face," Muramatsu said, "but now his entire body freaks me the hell out!"

I shuddered. "Super glad I was never on his side," I said. "Looks like the health benefits suck."

Yanagisawa hopped down from the roof, landing lightly behind the Reaper. "He underwent the same modifications as your octopus," he said. "With one difference. Quite unlike Itona and my would-be sister-in-law, he _begged_ for them. Far be it for me to judge, but I think that puts him a cut above." We all stared. I pushed at the bridge of my glasses. "I know," Yanagisawa said, "wrap your head around that! A man able to overwhelm you in human form now possesses unlimited power! Tentacles fueled by pure hatred! Can you imagine?!"

So, this... guy?... This thing has infinite cosmic power... without the drawback of the itty-bitty living space.

Well this blows.

The Reaper growled, before lunging forward. "Run!" Korosensei shouted, sweeping a tentacle behind him and sending us all flying.

On the ground, immediately where we had been, something _exploded_. We all shouted as dust and dirt sprayed up, pattering us - fortunately harmlessly. Below, Korosensei slid back, gouging a huge channel through the earth as we fell down.

We all started to pick ourselves up off the ground. "My ears," Yada moaned. I tried to get to my feet, but the world swayed around me and I staggered drunkenly before toppling over and catching myself on my hands and knees.

"That was a sonic boom," Yanagisawa observed, hands folded in his sleeves. "His tentacles have an initial velocity of Mach 2. Their top speed, however..."

The Reaper blurred behind Korosensei, then around the octopus. I tried to keep track of what was going on, but I could barely see Korosensei when the octopus moved; I had no chance here.

"...is Mach 40!"

I frowned. So... So it's just double. Just double what Korosensei can do. That's. That's it. His stats are doubled.

Okay. Cool. I guess.

Couldn't you have just said that and saved us all your stupid, end-boss monologue? I mean we can all tell you're the final boss, just give it a rest already.

The Reaper, with his much higher initial velocity, was easily able to run rings around Korosensei, slamming blows into our teacher. Each tentacle 'punch' was accompanied by a whip crack and Korosensei's grunt of pain.

"H-How is that even possible?" Okajima asked as we watched the Reaper rain blows down on Korosensei.

"In short, his basic performance level is doubled," Yanagisawa said. Seriously, that's so much easier, why couldn't you have just said that in the first place? "The tentacles amplify Two Point Oh's ungodly kinetic vision and intuition. He's readily adaptable to a supersonic world. Unlike some people," Yanagisawa sneered, "he took to his tentacles with ease. He shares that in common with version One Point Oh."

The Reaper closed in on Korosensei, dashing back and forth I could really only see a black blur until he was right in front of Korosensei. His head smashed into the octopus, knocking Korosensei into the air. "Korosensei!" Nagisa shouted.

Midair wasn't an escape from the Reaper either; the Reaper's head tentacles stretched out and started lashing Korosensei, each one cracking like a whip as it struck. "The most significant difference, though, is that his tentacles, quite unlike yours and those of the octopus, aren't designed for sustained use." My eyes flicked over to Kayano, before being forced back to Korosensei as the octopus thrashed in midair. "He requires no upkeep, rendering him effectively disposable. In exchange for being given three months to live, he can tap continuously into unthinkable reservoirs of strength. Oh," Yanagisawa added brightly, "and his expiration date does not come with an explosion."

The Reaper leapt into the air to pummel Korosensei, knocking our teacher downwards to the ground where the assault continued. "Gya ha ha ha!" Yanagisawa laughed. "Efficient, deadly, sustainable, and safe."

"Why do you always have to do this?" Kayano shouted. Yanagisawa turned to her. "Why do you always have to hurt people? Do your own dirty work for once!"

Yanagisawa stared at her, and his eyes changed. Before, they'd held mad, deranged glee at watching his creation beat Korosensei. After Kayano shouted at him, though, his eyes went flat. "You think I'm not willing to?" he asked, pulling back his hood.

He jabbed a syringe in his neck.

We all gasped as we watched a sparkling blue serum get injected into his neck. Instantly, his veins started turning a deep blue, almost black, spreading rapidly up and down from the injection point. "You think I'm not prepared to meet my own demise?" Yanagisawa asked, lips tilted up in a cruel smile. "Come now, that's _very_ naive." His almost pleasant manner of speaking roughened and deepened.

"What did he just do?!" Sugaya exclaimed.

Okuda covered her mouth. "Oh no..."

Yanagisawa threw his white robes off with a flourish, revealing a simple white tanktop underneath. His entire body was crawling with deep, bruise-colored veins, and his arms were twitching and distorting unnaturally. "I no longer give a damn whether I live or die," Yanagisawa said. "Everything I care for was stolen from me long ago. I'm merely a collection of muscle fibers, joints, nerves... Fertile ground for tentacle implantation."

Gross, dude.

"No," Yanagisawa said, "an empty temple where god-like powers can thrive! As long as I strategically implant tentacle cells, I will gain superhuman strength whilst maintaining my human functions!"

He blurred across the field. Fast! Not as fast as Korosensei, his body was still somewhat human it seemed, but still incredibly, incredibly fast. "Know this, guinea pig!" he shouted at Korosensei. His prosthetic eye shined with a violet light, and Korosensei stiffened. The light that hardens Korosensei's cells and slows him down. "Your death will haunt these children for the rest of their Earthly existence!"

The Reaper appeared in front of him, and struck with a pair of incredibly fast tentacles.

With an explosive crack, Korosensei managed to deflect the tentacles enough that they passed harmlessly over his head. "Listen to me, class," Korosensei said. "There is something I neglected to mention in my earlier lesson. A clever assassin may avoid confrontation for a while... but sooner or later the fight will come." I stared at Yanagisawa, standing next to the Reaper. "When it does, every last ounce of strength will be put to the test," Korosensei ground out. "In my case... That would be now!"

* * *

 **The final boss appears! Nick is, almost immediately, done with his shit.**

 **The first half of this (pre-escape) isn't all that exciting, but it's to be expected. Nick's already gone through a lot of what the E Class students are finding as novel; being pitied by strangers that didn't know anything was something he had to deal with after Aincrad. It's part of the reason he 1) doesn't talk about being in Aincrad all that much, and 2) put so much effort into getting healthy and fit again, so that there weren't any physical signs.**

 **The assault on the mountain has been in the works for a while. I knew that I wanted Nick to get a chance to stretch his muscles and show off just a little bit; alone, he wiped out a sixth of the Wolfpack and fought Houjou hand-to-hand for twenty-one seconds. (that doesn't sound like much but in the manga Houjou brags that he will end any fight under twenty seconds, so…) In the end, of course, everyone teams up to smash their way through the Divine Soldier and then meet Korosensei.**

 **Yanagisawa is Yanagisawa, there's really not much else to say. Dude's a dick. Nick hates him because he's similar to Sugou. The only real difference being, where Sugou was an idiot with a puffed-up ego, Yanagisawa is** _ **dangerous**_ **, so Nick is a little bit more on edge around him. Of course, Yanagisawa hasn't threatened to rape one of Nick's sisters, so he's not on the shit list just yet.**

 **Many thanks to everyone that favorited, followed, or reviewed.**


	21. Final Boss Time

_With an explosive crack, Korosensei managed to deflect the tentacles enough that they passed harmlessly over his head. "Listen to me, class," Korosensei said. "There is something I neglected to mention in my earlier lesson. A clever assassin may avoid confrontation for a while... but sooner or later the fight will come." I stared at Yanagisawa, standing next to the Reaper. "When it does, every last ounce of strength will be put to the test," Korosensei ground out. "In my case... That would be now!"_

* * *

 **Chapter 21: Final Boss Time**

 **(90 Minutes)**

The Reaper let out a roar mixing anguish and hatred before launching himself forward, leaving a blast of wind behind. Korosensei shouted and launched himself headfirst towards the mutated assassin. When they collided in midair, a loud crack echoed through the air as the two of them recoiled.

Korosensei and the Reaper disappeared from our sights. Everything was simply a blur as an insane battle took place over our heads. Every single blow and collision created another sonic boom before one combatant or the other streaked off in a different direction.

At this speed, Korosensei and the Reaper were nothing more than blurs. Little streaks of color and brief flickers of forms while they changed direction. But still... I could tell Korosensei is being pressured. Overwhelmingly so.

It's telling that every time I can catch a glimpse of Korosensei, he's being chased by the Reaper.

I gritted my teeth, snarling under my breath. The Reaper, Two Point Oh, the Second Korosensei, the Flying Purple People Eater even if he isn't purple, it didn't matter what we called him, the numbers were pretty clear. His basic abilities were double that of Korosensei's, and as any veteran of MMOs could tell you, numbers were everything. Level-based multiplayer games were inherently unfair that way, and if even if this wasn't based on a level system the concept was the same.

If the Reaper could move faster than Korosensei, he could strike twice as often. Korosensei would have to block.

We were constantly buffeted by the winds created by the speed of those monsters in the air, trying desperately to keep our eyes on our teacher. I was lucky - I had glasses to protect my eyes from the worst of the wind. I could only imagine how everyone else was doing.

Suddenly, a streak slammed into the ground not too far from us, and we all covered ourselves from the flying chunks of dirt. "Korosensei!" Nagisa cried out.

With a shout, Korosensei launched himself out of the dirt - only for the Reaper to plunge down at high speeds, smashing into Korosensei again. Korosensei hit the dirt again, before launching himself in the air.

It was insane. Korosensei was simply fighting to stay alive, so he couldn't make any attacks of his own.

A particularly brutal strike from the Reaper sent Korosensei flying, skipping off of the ground like a stone; he was moving so fast from the combined momentum of his own flight and the Reaper's blows that his skin had hardened under the wind pressure. Behind him, Yanagisawa dashed up and raised his arms, pressing at his shoulders.

Suddenly, little spiked balls launched up into the air, colliding perfectly with Korosensei's form. A series of five explosions rang out, and at the end a smoking Korosensei fell to the ground limply.

Yanagisawa was here as well, and after replacing most of his body with tentacles, he was superhuman both physically and mentally. Those explosives... They looked like they came from inside his arm, generated by the tentacle cells maybe? I don't know.

The Reaper jumped high in the air before streaking towards Korosensei at insane speeds; a harsh breath ripped out of me as I realized Korosensei was stunned, lying in the dirt and unable to move.

Just before the Reaper slammed down on Korosensei's form, the octopus jumped away. The Reaper let out a loud roar.

"Sufficiently hopeless yet, guinea pig?!" Yanagisawa shouted, clutching dagger-like objects in his hand. He threw the throwing knives into the air, forcing Korosensei to dodge the deadly projectiles. "A little math theorem! Square the inverse of your tentacles, and solve for genius."

I blinked. "Look at that, the answer's dickbag to the Nth power," I muttered under my breath.

Because he was so busy dodging the throwing knives, Korosensei's attention wandered away from the Reaper. The ex-assassin didn't miss the window, two massive black tentacles stretching up into the air to wrap around Korosensei's waist. For the first time, we could see our teacher clearly - just before he was slammed downwards.

"Factor by the power of hatred..." Yanagisawa growled, "and you get superiority!"

A massive crash rang out as the shockwave of Korosensei's landing washed over us. I'm going to have hearing issues for weeks after this fight is over...

It was happening at speed of sound. I couldn't see anything clearly. But I could still feeling the boiling hatred inside Yanagisawa and the Reaper. They wanted vengeance. The Reaper had been granted insane power for a short time, and I doubt that Yanagisawa would remain human and in control for much longer himself - they'd both poured everything they had into trying to kill Korosensei.

The crater in our exercise field was massive and deep, Korosensei buried at the exact center. Yanagisawa and the Reaper approached slowly, watching the rubble as Korosensei started to pull himself out.

Y'know, I'm starting to get tired of Yanagisawa. He irritates me.

Now, I've dealt with monsters before. The Reaper isn't really the biggest one, or the strongest. Unfortunately, he _is_ the fastest, and Future Step has taught me that being able to anticipate your opponent's moves won't help you in the slightest if you can't move fast enough to either be out of the way or block it.

 _So that means Yanagisawa is my target._

* * *

Nagisa flinched as a spike of bloodlust washed over him. He tore his eyes away from Korosensei and looked for the source, only to realize that Nick had changed slightly.

If he had to describe it, he would say that something in Nick had suddenly unsheathed its claws and was moving in for the kill.

Nagisa wasn't really quite sure what to make of Nick. His classmate had a cutting tongue and a wicked sense of humor - so a lot like Karma, in other words, down to their fondness for teasing him - but at the same time he'd seen Nick be kind and gentle with the kids at the Wakaba Park preschool. And then, when his girlfriend had appeared unexpectedly, Nagisa and the rest of E Class had been dumbfounded as the tough, aggressive assassin they'd come to know over the course of the year suddenly transformed into a doting boyfriend. It was almost a little eerie.

Nagisa knew that Nick was dangerous. He was probably the most skilled hand-to-hand fighter in the class - even if Karma was physically bigger and stronger, Nick won three out of four spars through technique alone. And his assassination skills were top-notch, to the point where Nagisa knew that he had a competitor for best assassin in the class.

This Nick was nothing like the patient, calm assassin. He was more like a deadly fighter, preparing to charge into battle. With a _sching_ sound, a gleaming metallic knife appeared in Nick's hands out of nowhere before the boy launched himself forward insanely quickly. "Nick!" Nagisa shouted, but his classmate didn't even turn to respond.

By the crater created by Korosensei's rough landing, the Reaper roared. The loud noise covered Nick's approach perfectly, and Nagisa wasn't quite sure if he'd planned for that. Probably. He was their tactician for a reason, after all.

Nick skidded to a halt just behind Yanagisawa, and suddenly the perfectly normal reading of his mental state - it had been calm the entire time Nick was running forward - spiked erratically. With a shout, Nick swung his knife straight at Yanagisawa's neck.

Nick had killed before. He'd as good as admitted it to everyone, and Nagisa wasn't quite sure how to react to the revelation. In this case, though, he was almost glad that Nick was willing to strike lethally with zero hesitation.

Yanagisawa whirled at the last second, barely dodging the sharp edge of Nick's knife. Not pausing in the slightest, Nick parried Yanagisawa's wild retaliatory swing with a careful push and ducked forward, striking at Yanagisawa's arms and legs with well-aimed punches.

Nagisa realized with a start that Nick's movements were completely different than usual. Normally he favored quick strikes in and out, waiting for his opponent to leave an opening, but right now it was like he was unleashing a beast that knew only to attack. Each knife strike was fluid and brutal, leading into the next one while keeping himself guarded; he was using the knife in his hand like a sword, a dagger, instead of as a killing tool.

It was like his style was _designed_ for fighting enemies bigger and stronger than him. Nagisa wondered where he'd learned it. But still… This was the power he hadn't shown when the two of them clashed. If Nick had fought like this, instead of asking for an assassination showdown…

The Reaper started to move, and Nagisa tried to shout a warning, but before the words could get out of his mouth Korosensei exploded from the crater and smashed into the Reaper. Instantly, the two of them were off and fighting again, the Reaper's tentacles pummeling Korosensei and creating sonic booms with every strike.

Nick was on his own.

* * *

I'm perfectly in control. That's the best part of this. I'm using my bloodlust, the viper is surrounding me, but it's not affecting my mind in any way. It's been unsheathed for now, but at any point I could just... put it away.

"Arrogant little brat!" Yanagisawa shouted at me, taking a swing with his tentacle arm. I casually tilted my body to the side and pushed down, redirecting his momentum and throwing him off balance. "I'm a genius! You're just some pathetic rat!"

"Corner a rat and it bites!" I shouted back at him. Considering my girlfriend, calling me a rat? That was a _compliment._ "You don't scare me! Do you want to know something about your big scary experiment?"

I flourished the knife I'd pulled off of Houjou. It was a nice knife, too; high-grade military steel, with a keen edge. "I've faced worse," I told him, ignoring the sonic booms behind me. If the Reaper tried to protect Yanagisawa, then Korosensei would be able to strike before I could be injured. Two on two is fair, assholes. Besides, the Reaper was so hyper-focused on Korosensei that his lust for vengeance and payback would blind him.

 _Tentacle Weakness Number One: Users become focused on one goal and that goal alone. Ignoring the goal causes pain._

"What do you mean?" he sneered. "Two Point Oh is my creation! Nothing could possibly stand up to its might!"

I chuckled. "Yeah, he's big. Yeah, he's scary. Faster, stronger, and on and on." I tilted my knife towards him, closing in slowly to raise the pressure. Yanagisawa whipped his arm out, and I stepped to the side, letting it hit the ground beside me.

The Reaper might be fast, but Yanagisawa isn't anywhere near his level. His top speed, from what I've seen, is roughly the same as the max speed I can hit in Alfheim; plus, his movements suffered from the same weakness as Korosensei – that being that his initial movements were slow and took time to reach top speed.

 _Tentacle Weakness Number Two: Initial movements are slow, then gain speed rapidly._

All things put together, as long as I stuck close to Yanagisawa and prevented him from gaining distance to build speed, he was simply faster than human. And I've dealt with faster than human before.

"I killed something like him on Floor 20."

"Wha-"

Before Yanagisawa could finish his question, I dashed forward and swung my knife. The bizarre statement had thrown him just as easily as clapping in the middle of the battle, and as a bonus I hadn't disarmed myself. The steel bit into his neck and I pulled, slitting his throat.

 _Tentacle Weakness Number Three: Easily distracted._

 _Tentacle Weakness Number Four: Moving at high speeds require focus._

Something was wrong. I knew it the second the knife moved. It didn't sink in deep enough. When I brought the knife back to bear, I snarled; the edge had been melted. Just like what happened whenever Korosensei consumed metal.

The tentacle cells. Of course. I'd forgotten. Because of the tentacle cells, Yanagisawa couldn't be killed except by Anti-Korosensei material - and I couldn't pierce his skin without steel. To make things worse, the regenerative properties were still present, the red line of my knife sealing up in no time at all as the tentacle cells rebound the split skin together seamlessly.

Shit. "Well this sucks," I sighed. I finally get a knife, aaaand it's useless. Fuck you, game.

"Hah! Do you see now? You can't beat me!" Yanagisawa boasted, pulling out more throwing knives and throwing them at me. Shino's bullets are faster than those things, and I slipped past the knives easily, closing in on him again.

I flipped my knife around to a front grip, perfect for stabbing. "I don't have to!" I snarled, thrusting forward at a surprised Yanagisawa.

The knife stabbed into Yanagisawa's mechanical eye. He shrieked as the prosthetic sparked and cracked, the delicate machinery destroyed by the weapon suddenly piercing it - the knife might have been useless otherwise, but it would still smash pretty well. I knew I wouldn't kill him, but I could at least shut down the Anti-Korosensei light it could emit. With another shriek, Yanagisawa batted me away, his blow connecting since I had no way of dodging.

I rolled with the blow, putting my recovery techniques to good use, but it still aggravated my ribs from Houjou's kick earlier. I coughed, tasting copper fill my mouth. A quick swipe of my tongue told me that I'd just bitten my cheek and that my ribs hadn't pierced my lungs, fortunately. Still, my work here was done, and I jumped back towards the class while keeping my eyes on Yanagisawa.

The asshole was clutching at his eye after the knife had been ripped out, spewing curses, and I grinned. There. Let some regular kid ruin his day and shake his unflinching hatred a little bit.

Unfortunately, my good mood didn't last long. Up in the air, Korosensei was still fighting the Reaper, and like before he was losing. He was beset on all sides by the Reaper's tentacles, barely able to do more than yelp and try his best to survive.

Everyone in E Class was watching the horrible sight; I saw Kurahashi covering her mouth, trying not to cry. Hayami clutched her rifle, but what good would it do? Beside me, Nagisa's pistol clattered to the ground seconds before the blue-haired kid fell to his hands and knees.

I might have been able to fight Yanagisawa, but only until I got hit once. I spat out a little bit more blood-colored saliva, frowning. I got lucky. That was the only reason; I was well-practiced in fighting monsters bigger and stronger than myself, with more-than-human abilities. But the Reaper...

He was out of my league. Out of all of our league. The one-sided fight he had with Korosensei, was in a dimension of its own.

All the training, all the hard work, there's no way it can help us now. It was pointless. Meaningless. Over by the school, Karasuma had his gun out, but all he could do was stand and watch.

As Korosensei was slammed into the ground by mach-speed blows, thoughts whirred through my head, but everything I came up with was impossible. We couldn't fight. We couldn't even run away. As it stood, we were just... deadweight. Something that Korosensei had to protect.

With a shriek, the Reaper sent tentacles streaking towards the panting and grounded Korosensei.

It's us, isn't it? Korosensei's biggest -

Korosensei's tentacles flicked the black tentacle to the side smoothly. Another tentacle was simply batted away as Korosensei's tentacles redirected it. He dodged the next one by the skin of his teeth, letting the black tentacle slip just underneath his leg tentacles.

Ritsu, held by Fuwa, gasped in shock.

In front of us, Korosensei was dodging the Reaper's blows. "He's dodging them!" Takebayashi gasped, adjusting his glasses. "Am I seeing things?"

"You bastard!" Yanagisawa shouted. I could see him trembling off to the side. What's the matter, genius? Your little toy broken? Can't shine your light anymore?

Korosensei dashed to the side. Immediately, the Reaper appeared behind him and struck - but Korosensei's tentacles snapped up around him, guiding the tentacles around his body. The Reaper roared in frustration.

"You're kidding me!" Fuwa cried.

Ritsu smiled. "Korosensei's using evasive moves with minimal energy!" she chirped. "And Nick stopped those blinding flashes!"

"Wait, what?" Fuwa asked, looking at me. "What did you do?"

I blinked. Had none of them seen what I did? Well, I guess they were all watching Korosensei... "I stabbed Yanagisawa," I said, holding up the mangled knife for evidence. The final stab had bent the tip, rendering it unusable, but it was a nice prize. "In the eye."

She stared at me. I blinked again.

"It closes the gap between them significantly," Ritsu continued, not really realizing that I'd done something completely insane. Either that or she just believed that I could easily pull off a feat that by all rights should have been impossible, which... I don't know why she'd have _that_ much faith in me, even if she knew the truth of my identity. "He's analyzing and adjusting for his own weaknesses mid-battle! I'm not surprised," she said with a laugh. "That's our Korosensei."

Out front, Korosensei was effortlessly dodging the tentacles. Well, not effortlessly, but he was expending far less energy than the Reaper. At this rate, he might actually win through attrition. "You may chalk this one down to experience!" our teacher shouted.

After a second, the two superbeings burst apart, sliding away from each other. Yanagisawa jumped back, landing next to the Reaper. "I am the teacher," Korosensei declared, staring at the Reaper. "You are the student. I take full responsibility for your lapse. But first..." His head swiveled towards Yanagisawa. "Yanagisawa, I'd like you to leave. This is a place of learning, not a warzone. You have no business being here!"

Yanagisawa lowered his head and sighed. "You just won't let go of this fantasy of being an educator, will you?" he asked rhetorically. "Deranged little guinea pig." Suddenly he lifted his head and sneered down his nose at Korosensei, eyes - er, uh, eye - filled with malice. "Answer me this, _teacher_! Why do you suppose we chose this of all moments to launch our final offensive?" Without waiting for an answer, he snapped his fingers.

...Oh, fuck.

The Reaper suddenly dashed to the side, appearing in front of _us_. Korosensei gasped in shock as the Reaper's tentacles glowed red. Electricity crackled across the Reaper's arms as it charged up for its super move. I snarled, my eyes darting back and forth - but this wasn't Aincrad, and I couldn't interrupt the boss's charge move with a stun or skill. "You will protect them, right?" Yanagisawa sneered. "That _is_ what a teacher's meant to do."

With a roar, the Reaper pointed its tentacles at us and unleashed a blinding beam of red electricity. The class shouted as the light started rushing towards us -

\- and then everything exploded, sending up a cloud of steam and dirt.

As the dust cleared, we all straightened up from where we'd turned and covered our eyes futilely. If that had hit us, even with our protective uniforms we'd all be smears on the dirt; by the simple fact that we were still alive, that meant we hadn't taken a shred of the attack. Which means... Korosensei took the full-power attack of the Reaper entirely.

"Are you alright, sir?" Nagisa shouted.

In front of us, Korosensei was panting. His skin was dirtied and scorched, and his robes had become ripped from the force of the blast. The class started shouting in shock and panic at the damaged state of our invincible teacher. "Well, well," Yanagisawa crowed, "aren't you the model protector? You could easily dodge these blows if you had a mind to... Yet you stay for the sake of your poor defenseless charges." He looked over at the Reaper, who hadn't moved after its attack. A cool-down? Could it not use the attack again because of the energy required? "Now then," Yanagisawa said, "I believe it's time, Two Point Oh. Another, please!"

Well fuck!

The Reaper appeared on our right this time, threatening us with another blast of energy. This wasn't electricity; there wasn't any sort of ionization in the air, so we couldn't even divert the blow that way.

As Korosensei dashed in front of us, I knew that the only way we could survive the blow is if Korosensei absorbed it all again.

The beam struck Korosensei in the chest head-on, and he grunted. The smoke this time was even worse.

"And another."

The Reaper appeared behind us this time, limbs already crackling with energy waiting to be released. What the hells? Even the most unfair bosses in SAO had a cool-down period on its breath weapon.

Korosensei blocked that one, crying out in pain.

"And another!" Another crackle of electricity, another pained cry. "And another! And another! And another!" With each command, the Reaper struck at us again, forcing Korosensei to take the blows. I snarled at Yanagisawa; even with his ruined left eye, a trail of what I'm guessing is oil trailing down his cheek like a parody of tears, his face was filled with rapturous bliss.

The latest blow, Korosensei clutched the tentacles against his chest, trying vainly to prevent the Reaper from attacking more. He'd taken incredible amounts of damage, though, and he spat up yellow goop from his mouth - his equivalent of blood. "Korosensei..." Kayano whispered.

"Corral the guinea pig with his precious students, and this was all but a foregone conclusion," Yanagisawa said, smirking. "Sorry, boys and girls, you chose poorly. Showing up here tonight only increased the likelihood of his dying by our hands."

It was like his words had pierced into everyone's minds. Their expressions were shaken. Still, I did my best to keep a straight face, scowling directly at Yanagisawa. His ruined eye sparked, making him twitch a little, and I smirked.

A pistol clacked as a round was chambered. "Shut up, Yanagisawa!" Karasuma snapped, aiming the pistol at him. Yanagisawa turned, looking at the man with a frown. "I think we've all heard just about enough out of you."

Yanagisawa's lips curled up into a smirk. Suddenly, he lunged forward, appearing in front of Karasuma. With the speed he'd been able to build up, Yanagisawa's punch sent Karasuma flying, knocking the agent to the ground. "Shut up and enjoy the show, government dog," he shouted. Karasuma clutched at his ribs, trembling, and my own ribs ached in ghost pain. "I'm afraid at this juncture there's really nothing else you _can_ do."

Karasuma had been knocked aside, trying to protect us. Korosensei was dying by slow inches, doing his best to protect us from the Reaper's attacks.

I think I'd figured it out a while back, honestly, because I didn't feel a shred of surprise. If that were the case, then I'd committed a cardinal sin and turned away from the facts as I knew them.

Like when Yanagisawa had blown up the dam and threated E Class's safety, back when we knew him as Shiro. Like when the Reaper had dropped Korosensei into a pit and threatened my classmates with death to force him to stay put.

"How does it feel?!" Yanagisawa sneered. "Watching your students quake with despair as they realize how much of a hinderance they've been?"

Korosensei's greatest weakness, beyond even his heart - the organ that, if struck, would kill him instantly.

Yanagisawa's eye was wide and his smile manic as he shouted, "Do you understand, now?! Your greatest weakness is -"

Korosensei's greatest weakness is -

\- is us.

"THAT IS PREPOSTEROUS!" Korosensei shouted. Everyone flinched, staring at him in surprise. "You're a fool if you think I'll believe it's that cut and dry! These children, they've risked life and limb to save me! What they've gone through just to be here tonight is extraordinary! Their determination, their unflappable spirit... Students like these are the greatest gift a teacher could ask for! They are not a hinderance! They are not a weakness! They are my CLASS! And _I am proud of each and every one of them_!"

I flinched, gritting my teeth. It was... That was something I couldn't deny. Korosensei was proud of us.

Of me.

Korosensei was _proud_ of me.

...I feel... happy.

His tentacles wrapped around the Reaper's black tentacles. "Call it what you will," Korosensei shouted, "but when the chips are down, I will give my life to protect them!"

The Reaper growled softly. "Yes, yes, that's all fine and good," Yanagisawa said, before pointing up at the sky. "So dutiful. And yet I'm afraid we have to deny you even that satisfaction. See, your strength will run out soon, at which point the children you're protecting... let's just say their future won't be as bright as you hoped!" His hands shook as the black veins spread and wrapped around his fingers. I think the tentacles were spreading, infecting more of his body and nervous system.

"Try it and I'll take the other eye!" I snarled. "With my gods-damned hands if I have to!" I will not let him touch my friends!

Yanagisawa flinched at my threat, before gritting his teeth and plunging deeper into the hatred that was fueling him. "Everything you've gained over the last year, you've gained by destroying our lives! I will ensure that it was all for nothing! Then and only then, will my revenge be complete."

He planted his hands on his hips. "Now then, let's continue," he said, his voice rough. "Where were we? Oh yes, of course. Mind that you play close attention -"

Suddenly a pistol cracked out. The Reaper moved his head out of the way of the Anti-Korosensei bullet aimed for the center of his skull.

Korosensei gasped in shock. "Idiot!" Karma shouted.

"What the-" Nagisa gasped.

I stared in horror. I hadn't been the one to attack.

No...

Kayano. She had drawn her pistol and fired, stepping away from the main group. As she skidded to a halt, she dropped her pistol and drew her knife. "Make a run for it, sir!" she shouted, dropping into a guarded stance. "Find a place to hide, you need to recover! I'll buy you some time!"

"Kayano..." Korosensei gasped, "what are you doing?!"

The Reaper lashed out with a tentacle.

Kayano, somehow, was able to get out of the way, and my eyes narrowed. Future Step? Could she have somehow tapped into it? That should be impossible... But Cardinal _was_ running this world, so maybe...

At the same time as the tentacle moved, her knife flashed up. Behind her, a wriggling black tentacle slowly broke apart. The Reaper looked at the smoking end of its severed limb before it regenerated. "Ah," Yanagisawa said. "Even with the tentacles excised, your kinetic vision remains."

Yeah, okay, that makes more sense than her suddenly developing my particular brand of precognition. Still, if she could see the tentacles, something even _I_ couldn't do, then she could predict where they'd go and be ready.

"No, Kayano!" Korosensei shouted at her. "Stop this at once!"

"It was all my fault." Kayano didn't even look back at Korosensei, keeping her eyes fixed on her opponent. "I brought us down. Because of me, everyone had to face the truth. We'd been like a family... and I ruined it. So please... just let me do this." She glanced at him over her shoulder. "I owe you one."

"You can't put this on yourself, Kayano," Korosensei said, still gripping the tentacles that the Reaper had struck him with. "Sooner or later, we would have all had to face reality! Your actions simply made us take stock and regroup!"

Suddenly, the Reaper thrust forward with his tentacles, sending Korosensei flying.

"Hm..." Yanagisawa said, holding up a hand. It was curled into a fist, except his thumb. "Two Point Oh."

As he grinned madly, he turned his hand thumbs-down.

"Kayano!" I shouted, starting to rush forward as I fumbled for my pistol. Damn it, why didn't I practice firing from the holster more?!

As the Reaper's arms crackled with electricity, Kayano dashed forward. When he struck at her, she saw the attack coming and jumped to avoid it, flipping in the air.

Landing on the outstretched arm, she jumped up again, easily reaching the height where she could plunge her Anti-Korosensei blade down, hopefully injuring the Reaper and earning Korosensei some time.

The Reaper's second tentacle shot up and speared her through the chest.

I staggered to a halt, staring in mute horror at the blood starting to spill through the air.

My jaw worked as I choked on nothing. Behind me, I could hear the class starting to react.

The wet _thud_ of Kayano's body hitting the ground limply echoed in the stunned silence.

"Gyaahahaha!" Yanagisawa suddenly cackled as Korosensei kneeled over Kayano's body. "Unbelievable!" he laughed, helplessly gesturing in the air. "What are the odds of that? Having both sisters die right in front of me!" he giggled. "Gyahahaha! Tragic ends must run in the family, eh?"

Motherfucker has a death wish. My hands curled into fists as I started to unsheathe my bloodlust again.

"Gyahahah! Can you imagine? I kept her around as a replacement for her sister." Suddenly, all mirth and hilarity vanished as he stared coldly at Korosensei's kneeling form. "Too bad for me. Unfortunately, I have no interest in a bitch with a hole in her."

Sugou. This jackass. They were the same. And I was going to deal with them the exact. Same. Way.

Drawing my pistol and checking the chamber with deliberate precision, I started stalking towards Yanagisawa, completely ignoring the Reaper. If 2.0 wanted to fight me, I'd show him _exactly_ why I survived the death game, even when my opponents had me out-numbered and out-classed in every physical aspect.

But before I could take more than two steps, I froze as raging bloodlust filled the air. It swallowed even my own, and I shivered. Fear. I felt _fear_.

Korosensei let out a scream of rage as the bloodlust poured off of him. His skin darkened and blackened as the antimatter in his body reacted, giving off visible waves of anger that wreathed our teacher like a fiery corona.

* * *

The literally earth-shaking waves of bloodlust pouring off of Korosensei robbed all moisture from my mouth as I backed away.

Korosensei's expression, after losing Kayano when she dove in to protect him, was - as expected - filled with a raging fury I'd never seen before. Even when he'd gone pitch black before, his face had never been quite this twisted.

"There it is!" Yanagisawa snarled. "Oh, but you're a _devastating_ creature when your emotions twist past the point of endurance!" he said, pointing at Korosensei. "Black indicates well-nigh unimaginable power! At last, your true colors are on true, glorious display! Is it liberating to shed that ridiculous facade?" he simpered, mocking our raging teacher. "All year long, you've been a smiling hypocrite! How wonderful to see you as you really are!"

I realized that Yanagisawa truly was thrilled to see this. He was ecstatic.

"But alas," the madman continued, twisting his arm unnaturally. "Considerable though your power may be in this form..." From his palm another syringe emerged. It erupted from his flesh itself, and I can't help but wonder if he'd generated it inside his body, or if he'd surgically implanted these tools ahead of time. "...The new and improved you will negate it effortlessly."

He blurred, before reappearing by the side of the Reaper. "Thank you for playing," he said, before injecting the Reaper. "Behold, his final attack."

Instantly, the Reaper's body twisted and tensed up before erupting in purple energy; as the Reaper roared, the ground underneath him started to crack and ripple outwards as the pressure broke apart the ground.

Whatever Yanagisawa had injected the Reaper with, it had unlocked all of the Reaper's energy at once, for one final blow. I recognized that sort of attack. Tanking it wasn't an option. Only two choices remained - eliminate the Reaper before he could strike, or just run like the hounds of hell are chasing us and hope to put enough distance between us and the Reaper before the explosion happened.

Judging by the look on Nagisa's face, he'd come to the same conclusion. He hurried over to where Kayano's body was lying on the ground, and knelt to pick her up. "We need to get out of here!" he shouted once he had her in his arms.

"Are you for real?" Hayami asked him.

"C'mon!" Nagisa shouted. "We're wasting time, he's distracted! If we stick around, it'll only make things worse."

"You can't be serious!" Okuda shouted.

Karma gripped her arm as we all started backing away. "Living to fight another day is a perfectly reasonable battle tactic," he told her, before pulling her along.

As tactician, I needed to make a decision; could we somehow survive this strike?

...No. And even if we did, if we were too close, we wouldn't be able to defend ourselves against Yanagisawa when the madman came hunting us. If we couldn't... We'd lose more than just Kayano.

I nodded to Karma, and he relayed the orders to everyone. The class didn't really need prompting; with the two massive pillars of ground-shaking energy, everyone was already halfway to flight as it stood, so as soon as we got the orders we bolted.

Once we reached the tree line we stopped and turned, hopefully far enough away. The Reaper screeched before twisting and striking forward with blinding speed. With a crash -

\- the tentacle collided with Korosensei, but something was wrong. A blinding column of white light enveloped the two superbeings on our field, emanating from where Korosensei had caught the Reaper's strike.

A white light? "But his tentacles are still black..." my voice said.

Korosensei started to change. "No..." Nagisa whispered. "He's gone back to yellow..."

"Nuh-uh! That's red!" Terasaka said. The yellow glow gave way to red light.

Green. Blue. White.

Every color Korosensei had taken on. Every emotion we'd ever seen him display. They were mixing together into pure white energy.

"Treasured pupil," Korosensei said. I shielded my eyes as I tried to see what was going on. But the light was too bright; I couldn't see anything except Korosensei's white glow, and his silhouette. "May your graduation... help you find peace!"

The white light erupted.

I recognized the technique; it was the same technique he displayed against Itona. He'd compressed everything into one concentrated burst of energy, and then unleashed it against the Reaper.

I saw Yanagisawa get caught in the area of effect of the blast, and something finally clicked.

Because he'd injected himself with the tentacle cells, he'd signed his own death warrant.

Aegis liquified tentacle cells. And he was headed straight for it.

My lips curled into a smug smile. Even _better_ than what I'd done to Sugou.

As soon as he passed through that batter, he'd be disintegrated.

Turning my attention back to Korosensei, I realized that the beam of light had severed the Reaper at the torso and sent him flying. Korosensei rose up in the sky to meet the Reaper, clutching an Anti-Korosensei in his tentacles by holding it with a napkin.

The Reaper screeched and struck with a scythe-like arm.

Korosensei stabbed the Reaper in the chest, directly in the heart.

As the Reaper disintegrated in a flash of dissolving cells, scattering into the sky like so many tiny crystals, I realized that the fight was over. Still, none of us were celebrating. The fight had ended and we had time to breathe and think instead of just react - which meant that none of us could escape the knowledge that Kayano was _dead_.

"Kayano," Nagisa whispered.

Kurahashi wailed, "Kaede...!"

Everyone in the class didn't want to accept it. We didn't want to accept that one of our friends had died. I just looked away and took deep breaths. I may have accepted loss as a natural part of life when Korosensei forced me to, but that didn't mean I had to accept it right here and now.

"...Lower her to the ground," Chiba said, his voice hoarse. "I'll bring a sheet to cover her up."

"Not so fast," Korosensei said, landing behind us. "One moment, please. Sorry, I'd rather her cells not come in contact with the soil."

"But sir..." Nagisa began.

"Children," Korosensei said. "I've made mistakes. More than I care to count. What's done is done - the past can never be regained or revised. If, however, we attend carefully..."

I realized small, microscopic tentacles were wiggling behind his head. Slowly, a crimson ball descended from the air, stopping just in front of Nagisa. "...it can teach us how to move forward," Korosensei said.

The smell of copper reached my nose. Blood. That was a ball of blood.

"What is... that?" Okano asked him.

Korosensei replied, "You're looking at Kayano's blood and somatic cells." My body stiffened. What was he going to do with that? "I gathered as much as I could before she fell to the ground, and stored them in a sterile membrane of compressed air for safekeeping."

"Y-You did all that in the middle of the battle?" Nagisa asked.

"I set a few tentacles aside for protecting you," Korosensei replied. "Of the rest, I used some for fighting, and some for this."

Korosensei's tentacles began glowing white with energy as he focused. "Okie-dokie, then," he said. "Time to string these cells together one by one."

Korosensei's tentacles were a blur as they moved over Kayano's body; the wound in her chest was glowing bright white. My eyes widened as I realized what he was doing. "Faster," Korosensei said, "and more accurately. You see, class, I've been improving my skills for some months now. If what happened to Aguri repeated itself, I was adamant about being prepared."

He was going to repair Kayano entirely. He was going to _bring her back to life_. The microscopic cells that floated in the air were being kept warm by his vibrating tentacles. One by one, he sorted each cell and placed it back in Kayano's body; the whole time, he was transferring his own energy to her through his tentacles.

The operation continued, at hyper-speed and with frightening precision.

"Now, some cells couldn't be recovered," Korosensei said. "So I'll leave strategic gaps. Those, I'll fill in with tiny bits of mucus. In a few days, what cells there are will have regenerated in sufficient quantities to replace them.

"Hh..." he said. "I'm a little low on blood. Type AB donors, if you please..." Tentacles reached out and planted themselves on the arms of Itona and Karma, who gave their blood freely. Come to think of it, I don't know my own blood type. I should ask Aki once I wake up.

...I know I'm just distracting myself from the operation, to not get my hopes up by thinking of unrelated topics. But still... it was too frightening to hope, right now. Cynicism _had_ to be my shield, at least for this moment.

"Nakamura!" Korosensei exclaimed. "The birthday cake! Collect it and stuff it in my mouth immediately!"

The blonde girl blinked and stared at him, eyes wide. "Do _what_?" she yelped. "You realize it's been one with the dirt for the past half hour, right?"

"That doesn't matter!" Korosensei exclaimed. "I have to replenish my energy! Besides, I can't stop thinking about it! Thirty minute rule!"

"Thirty second rule!" Nakamura snapped. Still, she gathered up the cake and did her best to hold it steady while Korosensei scarfed it down.

Smoothly, the operation moved into its final stages. Without a single thread of string used the entire time, Kayano's wound was starting to close up without leaving so much as a single scar. Korosensei even wiped up the blood that had covered her chest and chin, leaving her clean.

"Whew..." Korosensei said, wiping his brow as he gently lowered Kayano to the ground. "In a moment, her heart will start beating and she'll come back to life. According to my handy-dandy 'What to Do for a Gut-Shot Student' manual, from here on out it should be smooth sailing."

"But who thinks of writing a manual for something like that?!" Okajima, Maehara, and Sugino all shouted. Thank you, you three, for reacting to that absurdity so that I don't have to.

Korosensei raised a tentacle, and electricity crackled across his tentacles. "I didn't mention this earlier for fear of sounding foolish," he said, "but if ever your bodies were torn to shreds, I was ready and able to put them back in order piece by piece."

I paused. Okay, I like puzzles, but holy _hells_ that was too much even for me.

"The ultimate student-teacher relationship, really," he said, laying his tentacles on Kayano's chest. One just above her right breast, and one below her left breast. I recognized the position - it was where the defibrillator pads would go. His tentacles would act as the pads and inject the current needed to restart her heart.

It had only been... a minute or two. Kayano's brain cells probably hadn't even started to die yet; if Korosensei successfully restarted her heart, there should be no damage at all.

Electricity crackled and pulsed. "Because it requires," Korosensei said, "above all else, that I properly acknowledge you."

Kayano's body jolted. As Korosensei withdrew his tentacles, she lay still, and I gritted my teeth.

Suddenly her body lurched as Kayano coughed, gasping for air. She sat up, hand gripping at her chest and eyes filled with wonder. "Nue-heh-heh," Korosensei laughed, before sighing.

"What did you... You saved me again, didn't you?" Kayano asked him.

Gently, Korosensei's tentacles restored her typical wing pigtails. "As many times as necessary," the octopus said. "After all, your sister would have done the same."

After he finished, Korosensei backed off. I couldn't blame him.

After all, the entire class lunged for Kayano, laughing and cheering happily. Of course, Kayano screamed in surprise; that didn't actually _stop_ us, of course. We were too thrilled that our classmate had come back to us.

Even Karma and I were celebrating. We might not have been the most expressive students, but I could see the genuine smile on his face and knew it was mirrored on my own.

Even as she flailed and protested, trying to get down - a few of the more exuberant girls had picked her up and started tossing her in the air - Kayano was laughing.

Kayano was back where she belonged, safe and sound.

Since this was the sort of event where everyone had something to say, Kayano suffered through everyone's hugs and exclamations of relief with good graces. Finally, I managed to push through the crowd of jubilant students and looked Kayano up and down. Aside from her ripped clothes, she was perfectly fine.

"Congratulations," I said. She tilted her head curiously. "And welcome to the club," I added.

"Club?" she asked me.

I grinned and tapped my own chest, lightly tracing the scar. "You survived a chest wound that probably should have been fatal," I told her. "That means you and I are chest wound buddies, now." As she giggled, I put my arms around her and gave her a hug. "I'm glad you're okay, Kayano," I said, before letting her go and stepping back.

My friend was alive.

* * *

 **Yes, this is a shorter chapter. No, there's not really much I can do about it; a lot of the chapter, Nick just can't do anything at all, he can only watch as Korosensei fights something that's far, far beyond his abilities.**

 **Still, I managed to sneak a little bit of action in there. Remember, Nick cut his teeth originally in Aincrad, so once he got a real knife a lot of the old habits came back. Nagisa didn't really have the words to describe it, but… he was using a fighting style that's more physical and dance-like than the assassination techniques. Think what you'd normally see from SAO fighting. Also, just realized something, but the perfect weapon against Yanagisawa would be an Anti-Korosensei knife coated in a thin layer of metal; thick enough to cut through the skin, but thin enough to be melted and absorbed almost immediately, leaving the Anti-Tentacle material.**

 **Speaking of Nagisa. I like the sudden shift to third person for Nagisa's look at Nick. I wanted to get at least one view from the mini Reaper before moving on; unfortunately, the brief omake in Korosensei's car was good, but not really enough for my liking. So, we have this.**

 **And then Kayano. Sad, then straight to happy – Korosensei saved her life by tentacle microsurgery, which, uh… huh. Okay. Sure.**

 **In the end, everything's okay. Yanagisawa has been completely destroyed (that's what happens when your vitals are all made of tentacle cells and then you go through a tentacle cell-killing barrier), the Reaper is dead, and everyone is alive. Happy ending is in reach.**

 **Many thanks to everyone that favorited, followed, or left a review.**


	22. Graduation Time

**Chapter 22: Graduation Time**

 **(29 Minutes)**

* * *

The fight with Yanagisawa and the Reaper was the first time the students of E Class had been in any real danger.

We'd always been protected, thanks to Korosensei - our teacher. Because he was strong, yes, but because he was also willing to watch over us.

...

"Kayano!" Nagisa exclaimed as he knelt down, giving the poor girl a hug. Funny, that - her boyfriend was the last person to greet her. I'd almost feel bad for the young couple, if it wasn't so funny. "I don't even know what to say!"

"Nagi- _choo_!" Kayano started to reply, before a sneeze ambushed her. She sniffled. "It's cold," she whimpered.

I glanced down. "Probably because your shirt is torn in half."

Kayano looked down at her chest, before letting out a cry and trying to cover herself. "Uwaah!" she wailed, cheeks red. "What - What happened to my top?!"

Nagisa blushed, before looking at the rest of us; most of the boys had politely looked away once we got over the relief that she'd survived and realized that Kayano's outfit wasn't exactly decent. All except for Okajima, of course, but Kataoka forcibly turned the pervert's head to the side. I think I heard his vertebrae crack a little bit.

Itona, of course, seemed to have failed to develop certain social cues thanks to his time as Yanagisawa's 'assistant'. Case in point, he was kneeling down, staring directly at Kayano's chest thoughtfully. Careful, Itona, we don't want Nagisa getting protective of his girlfriend, do we? "What?" Kayano asked, still blushing.

"I'm so sorry," he said flatly.

"Shut up!" Kayano shrieked.

I looked at Nagisa, but the poor boy seemed lost; after all, his girlfriend had just died and then come back to life. Combine that with the bare skin he was seeing for probably the first time, and he was a little bit too flustered to help her out. So, I glanced around; fortunately, Maehara stepped forward, already shrugging off his coat. "Easy, now," he said, draping it around Kayano's shoulders to cover her up. "Hey, at least Korosensei fixed your hair," he said with a kind grin.

"I know," Kayano muttered, "but I wish he could have done something about my clothes..."

"So, uh, I don't know if this is appropriate for me to ask," Okajima said, still struggling against Kataoka's iron grip on his head.

I snorted. "I'll save you the time, it isn't."

"Hey!" he protested. "I was just gonna say it kinda looks like she came out of that a bigger cup size!"

I rolled my eyes. Sure enough, I'd been right.

Yada grinned and turned to Korosensei. "Korosensei, you can do that?"

Our teacher didn't reply, and all of a sudden I realized just how ragged he looked. It made sense; he took several of the Reaper's blows head-on, to protect all of us, and then burned a lot of his energy to finally kill his erstwhile pupil. And saving Kayano, that must have been exhausting, keeping all of those microscopic tentacles in place.

Slowly, Korosensei toppled backwards, crashing to the ground.

Everyone gasped. "Ah... I am exhausted," Korosensei said, his voice wavering just a little bit.

We watched him lie there, exhausted, and I knew that each of us noticed the exact same thing. While Korosensei looked more tired than ever before, so too did he look happier than ever.

"Come now," Korosensei told us. "What kind of assassin lets a target linger indefinitely on the brink?"

Everyone flinched as Korosensei's words sank in. I looked up at the sky, staring at Gungnir's crimson glow through the golden hexagonal pattern of Aegis, and I knew what was going to happen.

"Don't you understand?" Korosensei asked us. "At this point, we're just running out the clock. Now is the time to kill." I shivered as a cold chill ran down my spine. Beside me, Nagisa stared at Korosensei uncertainly. "I'm sorry, children," Korosensei said. "All things must come to an end." Karma gritted his teeth. "That's life. That's the nature of the classroom."

Everyone else suddenly seemed to realize what Korosensei was saying, and looked up at the sky. I, however, couldn't tear my eyes away from the octopus. He was lying there, so fragile. So weak. I doubted he could do more than lift his head, at this point; and even if he could run, Gungnir was still charging energy. The hour was at hand. It hurt, facing the truth that our teacher's fate couldn't be avoided - even if we didn't assassinate him now, the laser from space would eradicate him from existence.

I looked at the time on my phone; just under thirty minutes until midnight. Even Ritsu, the eternally cheerful girl, hung her head on my screen.

The laser could be fired at any minute.

We didn't have a second to waste.

"Guys..." Isogai said, and we all turned to look at him. He stared at the ground, not willing to look at us. "We have to make a decision one way or the other. ...We could stay out of it," he said, raising his head to meet our eyes. "Leave Korosensei's fate up to them." Silently, he looked back and forth at us. "Let's take a vote," he said finally. "Who here _doesn't_ want to kill him?"

Slowly, one by one, and without looking at each other, we all raised our hands.

"...Alright, thank you," Isogai said. "Hands down."

He studied us, before opening his mouth.

"Who wants to kill him?"

My heart jackhammered in my chest. Nobody moved.

It was all too easy to remember the times we'd shared with Korosensei. Like when he'd dressed up as Chiba and held a target - even Hayami had broken down laughing at that point. Sugaya showing off his art skills, with Mimura hiding behind the canvas to launch a surprise attack. Korosensei bringing in a boombox and dressing up as a DJ, dancing around while the students danced and fired their guns at him. When Korosensei had, while avoiding attacks from Isogai and Maehara, helped Hara prepare a surprise lunch for all of us.

Everyone trembled. My jaw trembled, and most of us were holding back tears, only the majority because of the few who had already lost that battle. I clenched my eyes, trying to hold back the tears. I bit my lip. I clenched my fist. Still, my eyes burned, and I let out a tight gasp, staring at the sky. I blinked rapidly, trying to keep the tears from falling.

Korosensei had become part of our lives. Our guns, and our knives had become part of our lives.

Slowly, one by one, and without looking at each other, we all raised our hands.

This was our answer. Our decision.

We are assassins… Our target is Korosensei.

I saw Korosensei's smile widen as he watched us decide to take his life. It was fitting, if painful, I suppose. The terms that needed to be fulfilled, the contract we'd all accepted the first day he began teaching us. This was the only way to honor the bond between us and our mentor.

And the only way to graduate without severing that bond.

We knew what we had to do. Without saying a word, we walked over to Korosensei, dead leaves crunching under our boots. The light of the crescent moon illuminated us as we all knelt down and pinned Korosensei.

Korosensei Weakness Number Thirty-Seven: Can be captured if everyone holds him down.

The weakness Korosensei had revealed to us as a prize for defeating A Class in our second semester's finals. Kayano cradled his head in her lap, while the rest of us gripped and sat on the tentacles. I knelt next to Karma, helping pin one of his arms.

"You can't move if we're all pinning you down," Nakamura said, her voice soft. She was sitting on one of his arms, right next to where it exited his sleeve. "That right, sir?"

"Precisely, Nakamura my dear," Korosensei replied. "Though I can't help but feel you're being a tad bit lax on that grip."

Everyone flinched. Each of us tightened our grip, squeezing Korosensei's tentacles. We didn't tighten our grips because we wanted to make sure we killed him. We all knew, deep down, that Korosensei wouldn't have been able to avoid an attack even if we hadn't pinned him.

It was because he'd praised us... Because he'd scolded us… Because he'd helped us grow, all year.

We just didn't want to let him go.

Even if nobody could bear to look at Korosensei, we all clutched tightly for all we were worth. As if somehow that would keep him with us.

"Your heart, it's... It's under your tie, you said?" Kataoka asked, her voice breaking. "Which one of us... is gonna..." Her words were fast, as though if she said them fast enough she could finish her sentence before more than the words came spilling out.

At the abrupt question, everyone looked around at each other. I looked at Karma, but he just stared at the ground. I felt Okuda's eyes on the two of us, but I just looked back down at Korosensei's arms. Nobody _wanted_ to be the one to do it. We'd all simultaneously pinned Korosensei down.

If nobody took responsibility, it would have to fall to me. Of everyone here, I was the only one who'd killed before. I knew how it destroyed me then. I didn't want my classmates to go through that.

"Guys, please..."

The one person who hadn't pinned Korosensei was the one who'd spoken up. He started walking towards us, carrying a sheathed knife in his left hand.

"Let me," Nagisa said. "I'll do it."

We all stared at him. "Sure," Terasaka said. I glanced at him out of the corner of my eye. "I got no beef with that."

"Well, you are the head of the class, so I suppose it makes sense," Karma said.

I didn't want to admit it, but I was relieved I wouldn't have to be the one to kill Korosensei.

Having received our approval, Nagisa paused and smiled at us.

Then, as we watched, he knelt on Korosensei's chest. "Sir," he whispered, looking at Korosensei.

As Nagisa started to lift Korosensei's tie out of the way, our teacher said, "It's alright," and Nagisa froze. "You can actually stab through the tie. There's been a hole in it, since the day it was given to me." My eyes widened, before I gritted my teeth. "I decided to leave it like that, for... sentimental reasons."

Nagisa nodded, and lowered the tie.

"...Ah," Korosensei said. "Before you proceed, let me say farewell to my fellow educators." I looked up to see Professor Bitch and Karasuma standing behind us, watching solemnly. "Miss Irina... Are you sure you won't join in? I'd hate for you to miss out on the bounty."

Irina's eyes lowered. "No thank you," she said, "I'd really rather not." Her words were precise and tightly controlled. She was using all of her considerable skill to keep the emotion out of her voice. "Who gives a damn? It's only money. What I've learned in this class is more valuable. It isn't about me," she said with a small smile. "It's about the bond you share with these kids."

Korosensei nodded. "Indeed. Mr. Karasuma," he continued, "I thank you. You've had a hand in molding these children into what they've become. If you please... continue to guide them on their way after I'm gone."

Mr. Karasuma lowered his head. "Of course," he said, stoic to the end. "You've given me no end of trouble over the past year, but even so, it's been a year I'll never forget." He looked up and met Korosensei's gaze. "Rest in peace, Korosensei."

That was the first time he'd called our teacher Korosensei.

"Quite," Korosensei said, smiling just a little bit wider, before leaning his head back to look at the sky. "...Okie-dokie, class," he said, "it's about that time. There's so much more I could say, but alas... I'll be lucky to squeeze in what I can.

"In lieu of tearful goodbyes, if you'll indulge me... I'd like to call roll, one final time." I swallowed past the hard lump in my throat. "When you hear your name called, please say 'here,'" he told us. "Look me squarely in the eye and answer in a loud voice. Once we've gone through everyone, you may commence with the assassination."

I had to memorize their faces. I had to memorize their names. I had to memorize everything about my classmates… Because once I was gone, nobody else would know they existed…

Everyone waited silently. I could hear my heart beat in the still air.

"Very well, then," Korosensei said, sighing a little bit. "Let us begin."

 _Karma Akabane. Yuma Isogai. Taiga Okajima. Hinata Okano. Manami Okuda._ Korosensei began calling roll, his voice slow, quiet, and deliberate. Our voices returned in response, already struggling with the grief. Karma's voice was weak and thready; Okajima's broke at the last second. Some were unable to speak, fighting tears, and some had already lost the battle.

 _Meg Kataoka. Kaede Kayano. Yukiko Kanzaki. Justice Kimura. Hinano Kurahashi._ We knew, kneeling with our teacher, that this was the last time that we would hear him call our name. The last time that we would see him smile when we responded. The last time… he would be part of our lives.

 _Nagisa Shiota. Sosuke Sugaya. Tomohito Sugino. Kotaro Takebayashi. Ryunosuke Chiba._ As I fought the tears I could feel burning the corner of my eyes, I could almost hear Korosensei telling us something… 'My sweet young assassins… As you ready yourselves… to snuff out a life… You understand better than anyone, the value of what's lost.'

 _Ryoma Terasaka. Rio Nakamura. Kirara Hazama. Rinka Hayami. Sumire Hara._ 'Because you have studied, fretted… turned it over and over in your mind… and in the process, without even realizing it, given that life meaning… It's been a privilege watching you grow… But the best part was growing right alongside you…'

 _Uzuki Fuwa. Hiroto Maehara. Koki Mimura. Takuya Muramatsu. Toka Yada._ 'So please, in this moment, let me be the finest expression of your bloodlust… If I die, knowing I've helped these twenty-nine souls find a brighter future… I die exquisitely happy.' There were only a few names left, and I tried to take deep breaths to stem the hollowness aching in my throat. But it didn't help, and my breath rattled in my chest while my classmates fought their own tears, winning and losing in equal measure.

 _Taise Yoshida. Nick Weyr. Autonomous Intelligence Fixed Artillery. Itona Horibe._ My voice, so sure and certain on the field of battle, betrayed me here. My reply stuck in my throat, only halfway making it out, and I had to try twice to reply to Korosensei correctly.

Roll call finished. Korosensei smiled. "All things considered," he said to us, "I'd say it's been an exceptionally fun year."

'Be happy.'

"I say this with all sincerity," he continued. "It's a privilege to be assassinated by you. As a fellow spirit, from one traveler to another..."

Silently, Nagisa unsheathed his knife.

"...Give a yell for all life..."

He set his sheathe aside, and gripped the knife in both hands.

"...And strike," Korosensei told us.

Nagisa gasped, tightening his grasp on his knife. The point, hovering over Korosensei's heart, started to shake.

Nagisa's whole body shook, as we prepared to end our teacher's life.

Nagisa gritted his teeth as the shaking grew worse. Slowly, he raised the knife. We all watched. The melody in his heart shrieked. With anguish in his eyes, he raised the knife above his head and screamed.

A single tentacle lightly pressed against the side of his neck, and he stopped.

I watched the chaotic notes slow down, and then clear away until only a single tone was left.

"Don't kill me with anguish in your heart," Korosensei said. "Nice, deep breath. Give us a smile."

My eyes burned. I wanted to look away. I wanted to wake up. I wanted to cry, so that I didn't have to watch this.

But I kept watching.

The memories of our time together with Korosensei. When he'd praised us. When he'd scolded us. When we'd played, and when we'd fought. Tears started streaming down Nagisa's face.

I gritted my teeth, and watched. With a deep breath, Nagisa threw his head back. He opened his eyes as the tears stopped flowing...

...and he smiled peacefully. "Goodbye... Korosensei..."

Korosensei nodded. "Goodbye... Nagisa."

The two of them didn't say anything more. Nagisa, still smiling at Korosensei, lowered the knife to Korosensei's heart...

...and plunged it in.

Slowly, golden light started drifting out of the wound. Korosensei smiled as his whole body lit up in golden light. It was like he whispered to us, 'Congratulations.'

Despite holding onto him with all our might, our teacher slipped through our fingers and started disappearing into the sky in golden, brilliant particles. When it finally ended, the last glimmer of Korosensei's life disappearing, we were left kneeling on the ground.

All that was left was Korosensei's robes, dirtied and torn. Nagisa was lying on them, his body shuddering.

With an anguished scream, Nagisa finally started sobbing. The sheer heartbreak and anguish in Nagisa's sobbing scream pierced through me to the bone, and I rocked in place back and forth to keep myself together. My eyes burned.

Every single one of us lost our battle with tears, crying and sobbing regardless of who we were. A few of us sobbed quietly. Some, like Terasaka, clenched their fists and did their best to keep a straight face. Beside me, Karma glared at the ground, choking and gasping for breath as his tears dripped slowly to the ground.

My breaths shuddered. The pain in my throat felt like something was swelling. As I tried to remain stoic, tears overflowed, spilling out of my eyes one at a time.

I tried to stop them. I gritted my teeth to keep myself from crumpling. I tilted my head back. Th-these damn tears just won't stop...

…It's… okay to cry, r-right? Just- Just this once…

I covered my eyes with one hand as I finally crumpled and started crying silently. Tears born of loss and misery poured from my eyes, splattering on the cold ground beneath me.

The sobs of E Class echoed into the cold night.

The clock was about to strike midnight. Soon, it would be Kunugigaoka Junior High's official graduation ceremony.

Of course... E Class graduated a little bit early... from our Assassination Classroom.

* * *

After the worst of the heartbreak had been sobbed out in the field, enough of us managed to pick ourselves up that we were able to shepherd the rest of the class back to our classroom.

In our devastated state, we were hoping to find some remnant of Korosensei.

When Isogai slid open the door and stepped inside, we all filed in; there were diplomas waiting on our desks, along with a yearbook. One for each of us. In addition, there were individual, personalized guidebooks for every student. 'Korosensei's Rules to Live By - Nick Weyr' was the title of mine.

The books were thick. There were more pages than a dictionary - though really, we'd come to expect that.

At the beginning, it was a friendly and easy-to-read manga. As I flipped through the pages, though...

...I swiftly realized that Korosensei had been just as thorough with these guidebooks as he had been with everything else. 'Listen up! Don't let a small taste of success lead you down a road of apathy! In order to make sure you don't end up as one-hit wonders, allow me to pass down to you nuggets of wisdom for your upcoming futures! First, food! While avoiding preservatives and chemicals is ideal, you can't forget to prioritize a balanced nutritional diet! It would defeat the purpose of avoiding processed foods if all you did was hoard up on a single thing every day!'

'You're only a monster if you let yourself act like one, Nick,' one page read. 'Live your life with your head held high, and be proud of yourself! As long as you don't forget that you're human just like everyone else, you'll never falter!'

'Future careers! Of course, the best possible outcome would be for you to find a career that you're passionate about and provides you with an incredible salary… but in the end, _que sera sera!_ As long as you're provided with a moderate income, a moderate amount of stress, and the job affords you opportunities to help others, pretty much anything works!'

'Opening up to others might be scary,' another page advised, with a little drawing of Korosensei. 'But don't fret! Most of the time, it'll be worth it. Why, when I was in town, if I hadn't introduced myself to the convenience store cashiers, I wouldn't have gotten free samples every now and then!'

'If you find yourself floating through life aimlessly, there's a quick solution. Find something you can hold dear and treasure it. Never give it up, no matter what happens, and you'll soon find that your days have meaning once again.'

'Above all else, make sure that you love and cherish the people that love you in turn. There may come a day where your loved ones, too, must leave. When they do, don't get mad! Crying is okay, but don't let your tears get in the way of spending time with them!'

'And Nick… in the future… please do try raising an individual yourself. Your very existence and wellbeing speaks to the level of love, dedication, and nurturing spent on you. To be able to pass those gifts onto the next generation… That is quite a beautiful thing.'

...It was a little like Korosensei was standing next to me, giving me the advice himself. While I welcomed it, he could be a bit overbearing. The level of detail was just a little bit too much, I think, despite how helpful all of the advice was.

As I flipped through the book, something in me refused to let me relax. Even as the rest of the students fell asleep one by one, I was awake, flipping through this incredibly thick guidebook. "Nick," Ritsu said gently, and I blinked blearily before looking at her. It felt like it took longer than usual for my eyes to focus on her avatar. "You should get some rest."

"...Can't," I said softly, my voice hoarse from the crying earlier. "What if... What if Yanagisawa attacks again? If he survived somehow? What if Houjou comes back for revenge? What if -"

They were all asleep. If something were to happen, I'd need to be able to act. Not having anyone on guard had spelled death for too many solo players in Aincrad, and I'd...

Ritsu smiled. "It's fine, Nick," she said. "Mr. Karasuma and Miss Irina are outside, remember?"

"Oh... yeah..." I mumbled, feeling my head start to nod. "I forgot... Must be more -" A yawn interrupted me, and my eyelids felt so heavy as I tried to blink them open again. "Must be more tired than I thought..."

It wouldn't hurt to rest a little bit, right? Just get comfortable, and...

...

...

...

I blinked slowly as sunlight poured through the window. The tears had given way to exhausted sleep, and I'd slept through the night dreamlessly. Around me, my classmates were breathing steadily, still recovering in the release of sleep. "Mmm... Ritsu..." I mumbled, sitting up and rubbing my neck, "...What time is it?"

Ritsu appeared, smiling. "It's early, Nick," she said. "Just after eight in the morning."

I rubbed at my eyes. "Hhh..." I stood up, pushing my chair back. "Ah... that's right..."

We'd killed our teacher, last night.

"What about the laser?" I asked her.

Korosensei was dead. He wasn't coming back.

"I think it fired minutes before midnight," Ritsu replied. "None of you noticed."

And... I think...

"Huh. Did soldiers come up to make sure Korosensei was... that the laser had worked? Aegis is down, I think. It's hard to tell in the light."

...I think I'll be okay.

"Around one or two at night, a recon squad was sent," Ritsu reported. "Mr. Karasuma blocked them from coming in. He said that while we are on school grounds, we're under his jurisdiction. You were still reading the books then, so he gave all of us the time alone in this classroom."

Yeah. I'll be okay.

As I walked over to look out the window, someone stirred behind me. I looked out at the tree as Nagisa joined me by the window. "Look," he said. "The cherry blossoms are blooming."

"...They're pretty," I said.

"Yeah," he said. "Small... delicate... and strong."

I grinned a little bit. It was a little over the top, but... it could be forgiven this once.

At the front of the room, a chalk drawing decorated the blackboard. It was a small Korosensei, waving goodbye.

Above him were the words, 'Congratulations on your graduation!'

…Thank you, sir.

* * *

 **Very short chapter… but it stands alone. I could have combined it with the last one, but I didn't want to.**

 **I like it better this way.**

 **(also go watch episode 24, i can't do the goodbye scene justice)**

 **Many thanks to everyone that favorited, followed, or left a review.**


	23. Future Time

**Chapter 23: Future Time**

 **(Congratulations on Graduating!)**

* * *

Nagisa and I were the first two awake, but gradually the rest of my classmates woke up and joined us, looking out the window at the new day. Nobody said anything. There really wasn't anything to say. The heartache and loss of Korosensei still dogged us - I could see it in the eyes of my classmates, and I could feel it in my chest every now and then - but the worst of the pain had been washed away by our exhausted sleep. In the light of the morning, we had enough things to do to keep our minds off of Korosensei.

Still... It hurt, yes, but we would heal. We would recover.

And honestly, it probably wouldn't take that long. We would mourn, yes, but we were resilient.

The first item of business for most of us was to get a change of clothes. Most of us, myself included, had left strategic changes of clothes lying around the campus in the event that we needed to change out of our custom uniforms back into the school-assigned gym clothes. The only thing any of us had left lying around were the jackets, so we just shrugged off the dirty, tear-stained uniform jackets and put those on instead. Our dirt-stained pants had to stay.

Despite my hunger, and I knew by the occasional rumble of a stomach the others were just as hungry, we didn't have time to go find anything to eat. For one, this school was still a quarantine zone. We might have eliminated the Wolfpack thoroughly, but that didn't mean we were allowed to be up here; if we went out to prowl for food, we'd probably get ejected real quick.

Second, before we could do more than get changed, Karasuma entered the classroom, Professor Bitch next to him, and asked us to take our seats. Naturally, we sat and watched him patiently.

"The target is liquidated," he started off. "The planet is safe. Your hard work over the last year has paid off. I imagine you'll find a few things difficult to swallow," he continued. "Being under constant surveillance, for example, or that you've all been slapped with a gag order. Naturally, I'll do whatever I can to lessen the burden."

He bowed to us, inclining his head without breaking eye contact. "My apologies in advance for any inconvenience."

A quiet murmur ran through the class. Karasuma respected us, yeah, we knew that, and we all knew he was proud of us, but we'd _never_ seen him bow to us, even a little bit.

"It's alright, Mr. Karasuma," Maehara said easily. "We'll be fine." Karasuma straightened up to look at him. "No worries. Whatever settles this, we're on board. We can handle it."

Okano grinned. "Seriously, we don't want to complicate things for you."

Kataoka stood up. "That said, though," she said, "we do have one tiny request." Karasuma and Professor Bitch both blinked. "Kunugigaoka's graduation ceremony is this afternoon, sir. I think we've earned the right to be a part of it. Let us walk across that stage in honor of Korosensei's memory."

Karasuma looked at her, before smiling slightly and nodding. "Sure," he replied. "Yes, of course. I'll handle things and make the necessary arrangements."

Isogai and Kataoka exchanged a glance, before our class president stood up. "E Class, rise," Isogai barked out. Our chairs slid back as we all rose to our feet with the synchronicity born of fighting together for a year.

Up front, Karasuma and Professor Bitch stared, eyes wide as every one of us bowed to them.

"Mr. Karasuma," Isogai said, "Professor Bitch. For everything you've taught us, we are eternally grateful."

"We are eternally grateful," we chorused.

After the moment passed, we straightened up and went straight to chattering amongst ourselves. "So, where's the ceremony exactly?" Sugino asked.

"The main campus is on lockdown, they're probably having it at the civic center," Sugaya replied.

Kimura groaned, pulling out his phone. "Our parents are gonna have to bring our uniforms."

Oh yeah, that's a thing. Shoot, I have to find some way of getting my uniform... Of course, I could just ask Karasuma for a ride.

When I looked up at our teacher, standing at the front of the room, he was watching all of us with a proud look in his eyes. I just smiled a little bit and turned to Nagisa. He'd already pulled out his phone to call his mom and get her to pick up uniforms for himself, Kayano, Karma, and Sugino, so it was easy enough to add me to the laundry list. I had a spare key hidden at the entrance to my apartment, fortunately, or things might have been a little awkward.

I didn't have much time to make my request and have it get in before Nakamura struck, wrapping her arms around Nagisa's neck and playfully rubbing her knuckles against his cheek. Karma laughed and patted Nagisa's head when the smaller boy asked for his help. When his pleading eyes turned on me, I just grinned and made no moves to help him out.

Around me, the rest of the class was splitting up into groups, chatting. It was, well... We were E Class, and we were tough.

That's really everything that needed to be said.

Though, I did bother Karasuma briefly, just before he could leave. "Excuse me sir," I said, leaning on the doorframe. He stopped in the hallway and looked at me. "Could, uh, could you find some food for us? We haven't eaten since we broke out of government custody yesterday."

Karasuma looked like he was about to say no, until my stomach decided to throw its weight around. With a loud groan and rumble, my insides made their displeasure known. "Hush," I snapped, poking my stomach.

It didn't really help, but it made me feel better.

Karasuma sighed, rubbing at the bridge of his nose. "I'll task some of the soldiers to bring something up for you kids," he said. "It won't be much, though."

"Eugh, military rations," I said, making a disgusted face. "Those always taste awful. But thank you, sir, my stomach thanks you." My intestines and taste buds not so much, but I'll survive. I'd suffered through a few of them while on RATH in the name of curiosity and free 'food', so while it wasn't a three-course meal it was better than nothing.

* * *

On the outside, the ceremony seemed subdued. Just a single sign marking that this was the site of the Kunugigaoka Junior High School Graduation Ceremony, standing outside of the civic center. E Class had been ferried in a few students at a time, so as to not gather too much attention; when I finally got off of the bus that had been commandeered, I glanced around to see a few student-parent pairs trickling in.

Naturally, my parents weren't anywhere to be seen. That would be a little bit _too_ weird, even for _my_ life.

Still, I did feel a small pang of loneliness when it dawned on me that I'd be graduating again; this time, though, without Kana. She'd sat next to me at our graduation from the SAO Survivor School, and, well... I missed my Catling.

Inside the hall, however, things were a little bit different. The entire hall had been reserved, with five sets of chairs set up for each of the graduating classes. E Class, surprisingly enough, was set in the center of the room, with each of the other classes at each of our corners. Up front, a podium was set up, for the diplomas.

I took my seat in the back of the rows, where I was supposed to sit; Yoshida on my right, and Ritsu's doppelganger to my left. She had her phone in her breast pocket, with the screen peeking out so Ritsu could smile and wave at me. I grinned at the AI girl's enthusiasm, before hurriedly facing front as Principal Asano took the stage.

He started reading off the names, and I sat more or less patiently. Probably closer to less, honestly, but I'm bad at waiting at the best of times. At least I had enough self-control not to fidget too much, though I didn't have the self-control _not_ to use my phone. Until Ritsu showed up on my screen and frowned disapprovingly at me, that is; I poked her cheek out of petty spite and she wrinkled her nose before giggling.

"Taise Yoshida," Principal Asano called out.

"Sir!"

Y'know, I couldn't really see the concept of E Class surviving past our graduation. If it weren't for the news plastering our situation all over TV, it might have lasted longer than it had; after all, his school was known for producing excellent students. E Class had been the necessary sacrifice for that quality, and as long as it stayed under the radar everything was fine.

Then again, Korosensei never once said that the E Class system was something that was wrong, or should be eliminated. 'The world will always be filled with injustice,' he said instead. 'If you have time give up, or hold a grudge against that injustice, then use that time to enjoy battling those injustices instead.'

"Nick Weyr," he called out.

I stood up. "Sir," I said, projecting my voice clearly.

Well, fighting injustice like that wouldn't be too hard. Thanks to Korosensei's lessons this past year, I knew the different ways of doing that. I wouldn't always be the strongest, or the fastest, or the smartest - but as long as I never lost sight of my weakness, then I would have options open to me.

I will win because I'm weak. That will be my greatest blade.

Up on the podium, Principal Asano offered me the diploma. The look in his eyes was softer than usual; he was actually smiling, for once. The gold leaf was on his tie like usual, though he had a colorful flower tucked in the breast pocket of his suit jacket. "Congratulations on graduation, and on your spot at the top of the class," he said. "It was earned by your hard work."

I bowed slightly as I accepted the proof of my graduation from him. "Thank you, sir," I said. "But maybe don't go quite so overboard next time, okay?"

He smiled. "You're not the first to tell me that," he said.

I smiled back, before heading off the stage and back to my seat.

After the rest of the ceremony, all of Kunugigaoka's students scattered and started chattering in the halls of the building. I knew that I wouldn't find any of my family members in the crowd - though that didn't stop me from fruitlessly searching for them for an instant - but I did see someone else with _his_ family. Nagisa was standing and talking with two adults; I recognized one as his mother, and the other... That must be his dad.

I'd never seen his dad around. I'd asked Nagisa about it once, cautiously, after learning about his mom's issues; according to him they'd separated, since his mother was a bit high-strung. It was why he'd asked us to use his first name all year, so that when - he always said 'when' - they got back together, he could go back to using his father's name without any issue. As I watched, Nagisa's shoulders shook. His mother offered him a handkerchief, while his father rubbed his back.

This... was probably another gift from Korosensei... How many will he leave?

E Class naturally grouped together, seeking unconscious safety in our friends among the mass of other students. That, of course, meant that we were all together when the loud bang of doors slamming open startled us.

Stomping of feet followed swiftly, and people started shouting. "Ceremony's over! They're letting out!" "Time to get some reactions!"

My eyes narrowed as I whirled to see reporters rushing towards us, their microphones and cameras held out in front of them like they were being dragged towards us. With a snarl, I stepped forward, putting myself in the front of the class. I don't think Karasuma would be thrilled with me breaking expensive equipment, especially on live TV, but you know what?

I was done with this shit. These reporters had been hounding us and harassing E Class ever since the story first broke, and I'd been irritated with it then.

But now I'd killed my teacher.

So forgive me if I wasn't in _any mood to fuck around._

As the first reporter reached me I -

\- blinked in surprise as Karasuma appeared out of nowhere. "Whoa there, folks!" he shouted, holding out his arms to block the pushy reporters. "This place is off-limits to the media!"

Government Stooge Alpha and the woman I'd seen following Karasuma around from time to time were also acting as human barriers, keeping the reporters back, but it didn't stop the vultures from doing their level best. "Tell us about the monster!" one idiot shouted. "Did he die!? How did he die?"

"Can you tell us how you're feeling at the moment!" another banshee wearing too much makeup screeched.

Beside me, my classmates gritted their teeth.

"Have you no shame?" Karasuma growled. "These children have been through enough! You're all vultures!"

"Yeah, yeah," one reporter grumbled. "Quit getting in the way, I'm trying to do my job!"

As the reporters started overwhelming the small group of Ministry of Defense agents, a few of them started slipping through the cracks. "Alright, everybody outside now!" Karasuma shouted back to us. "There's a bus on standby at the main gate!"

Unfortunately, it was too late. We were already swarmed by the buzzing gnats. Their camera flashes were blinding and disruptive, and there were too many questions being shouted at once for me to really even comprehend them, much less start answering.

The sea of obnoxious human faces pressed in on us, and I _prepared to take action -_

\- only for a group of bodies to shove their way forward, pressing between us and the media. I blinked, before sighing. Seriously, this is not helping my mental state, having to keep unsheathing and sheathing my bloodlust. It wasn't _too_ disruptive anymore, but that didn't mean I liked doing it.

"Hey! Quit pushing-!" one reporter shouted as a boy shoved her camera to the side, away from us.

Someone stepped forward, passing through E Class's ranks. I grinned lightly at Asano. "I guess I'll have to give you this one," I said. "You came through in the end."

He glanced back at me over his shoulder and smirked.

Over us, a red banner was raised, four A Class students holding one of the corners each. I looked up; it was see-through, but enough to shelter us from any aerial pictures. And around us, the rest of the Kunugigaoka kids were swarming, providing a buffer of bodies between us and the rest of the media piranhas.

Up at the very front, five students stood alone - Asano and his friends. Naturally, the Big Five were in the spotlight.

"Hey, what's the big idea?!" "You're messing with our coverage!" the reporters yelped. Asano just silently raised a hand and gestured for us to walk forward.

With the Big Five acting as our breakers, we cut through the media like they were nothing. "Ugh, coverage?" Seo grunted, thrusting his hand at some reporter's face. "You people are messing with our moment in the sun!"

Araki was holding a camera and making sure to film as many of the pushy reporters as possible. "The Internet's gonna go nuts when I post this," he grinned. "We've taken umbrage with your interview attempts, so a few choice edits and the world will be your judge, heh."

Koyama adjusted his glasses. "And remember, we've memorized what you look like, scum! Gyahaha!"

At some point, Sakakibara had dropped back to, what else, flirt with Kanzaki. Of course, Sugino was having none of that, and had grabbed the playboy's wrists to keep him from touching her. "There," Sakakibara said anyway, ignoring Sugino's death glare as he struggled to keep Sakakibara away from Kanzaki, "nothing to worry about, love. Permit us to be your escort to the front gate."

I even saw Fatso and Lizard acting as bodies in the crowd to keep the media at bay.

With a display like that... I almost take back some of the mean things I say about those two idiots.

"With graduation comes a clean slate," Asano declared, and I grinned at his back. "But abandoning former classmates in a time of need would be disgraceful." He looked over his shoulder at us. "I may be ruthless, but as your future leader I'm not about to court shame."

I shook my head, grinning. Kunugigaoka High School was in good hands, I think. A wise ruler knows that he is better than those he rules over, but also knows that it is his duty to protect them. The good king knows his people safe before he takes his rest, after all.

He'll do fine.

I was one of the first onto the bus, passing by Asano as he gestured to the open door. "It's a shame you won't be returning, Nick," he said. "So few people are worthy opponents."

I glanced at him, pausing as I was about to climb onto the bus, before I smirked just a little bit. "I'm good, really," I said. "Karma should be enough for you. Besides... if I stayed, I might have to start trying for more than just the finals."

Asano's lips quirked into what might be called a smile on someone less severe. "I see," he said. "Perhaps it is for the best after all. I wish you luck on your future endeavors."

I shook my head. "You can just say good luck, Asano, the language of the common folk isn't _contagious_." With a laugh, I boarded the bus and headed straight to the back.

I had a feeling, buzzing in my chest, that this was going to be the end of the road for my time here. I'd woken up in an empty classroom, with no one around to witness my appearance; here, in this bus, I'd probably vanish just as quietly. In the back, nobody would see me disappear.

Nagisa was the last one on the bus, and after he took his seat the bus purred to life and drove off, heading down the road.

It felt like an ending, finally. The end of my time with Kunugigaoka Junior High. The end of my time with Class 3-E. And... the end of my time with Korosensei.

I settled back and closed my eyes, letting the exhaustion I'd been hiding wash over me. As I fell asleep, I saw a bright light envelop me...

...as I was logged out of the world.

…

…

…

…I opened my eyes.

* * *

 **Hoo boy! That's the end of Viper's Kiss! With the completion of the story comes the end of the Assassination Classroom. (Stay tuned for epilogue after my somewhat incoherent ramblings, though this entire chapter is an epilogue of sorts)**

 **Only one 'book' left before Nick's journey in RATH comes to an end…**

 **(stop cheering you jerks)**

* * *

 **Yeah, this chapter itself doesn't have much going on. It's just the denouement of the story, with all of the important things being handled at the end of last chapter. It wraps up the story, ends things on a high note, and that's about it, really.**

 **Still, it's important to have, I think. Just because Nick's story isn't over yet doesn't mean we can't properly close the book on this one, I think.**

 **As for the last two stories as a whole, I'm glad I got the chance to write them. Nick as a character changed a lot over the course of the year with Korosensei, which I think is for the better. It gives me more room to play with his character next book, for one, and for two his old character was just… getting old. His core personality is the same – he's still dry, acid-tongued, and not the nicest person in the world – but there's an inner core of strength that wasn't there before.**

 **That was the point of naming the stories the way I did, by the way.**

* * *

 **Anyway, I hope you all stick around for Book Three – Viper's Eclipse. We're finally heading into the Underworld to see Kirito, so stay tuned.**

 **Many thanks to everyone that favorited, followed, or reviewed.**

 **(also shoutout to hammiam and joshua the arcanis for working on the tvtropes page)**

* * *

 **Epilogue 1: The Immediate Aftermath**

Afterwards, lots of things happened all at once after the whole incident.

...

Apparently, Yanagisawa was still alive; however, due to the near-total destruction of most of his nervous system and internal organs, his body was no longer able to function on its own. He must spend his days in a hospital connected to all kinds of machines dedicated to keeping him alive.

As for his research, it was deemed impractical both in terms of power production - using tentacled creatures to produce energy - and weaponry, and the plans were quickly shot down by the government.

In his room, he lied paralyzed, staring at the ceiling silently. He couldn't speak, and his eyes were vacant and distant. "Hello, Mr. Yanagisawa!" a nurse said as she brushed the privacy curtain back. She wheeled in a trolley with a bin of water, some towels, and other medical equipment. "It's time for me to change your bandages."

The cheerful nurse was kind; as she prepared to change his bandages, she turned his head towards the window. "Look," she said. "It's such a nice day outside."

If he learned from his own experiences, that embracing their humanity is necessary and essential for humanity's survival, he might be able to put his genius mind - the only thing he had left - to good use, for the greater good.

...

Kunugigaoka came under fire for allowing its students to participate in the assassination of a superbeing, despite all assurances that the superbeing hadn't harmed them in any way. The E Class system was quickly abolished, after being deemed problematic - thankfully, in the eyes of the last E Class students to graduate. The old campus building was closed off immediately following the graduation ceremonies, and it closed its doors for good.

As for Principal Asano, while he hadn't broken any laws, he was subject to a much harsher sentencing - one handed down from the court of the public. He had no choice but to resign from his position. Of course, being who he is, it wasn't hard to believe that he had a backup plan, or that all of this was still according to his grand vision.

With his intelligence and drive to succeed, there's no doubt he'll land on his feet.

As Principal Asano packed up the last of his office, he paused when he saw a picture album. It was a commemorative album, holding memories of ten years at Kunugigaoka, and he smiled faintly as he flipped through the pages. Soon, though, he ceased indulging in his flight of nostalgia, and continued stacking books in the boxes he'd brought.

"Anything you need, sir. We're glad to help," a man said.

Principal Asano turned, a mild look of surprise turning into a smile. "Ah! Nakai, Mori! It's been years." The two students from his first graduating class had grown up splendidly, and they both looked wonderful.

"We heard you're having trouble," Nakai said. "And, we're worried about you."

Mori added, "Not just you, actually. All the kids that came after us."

They both stepped forward. "Please, sir," Nakai said, pressing a hand to his chest. "There must be something we can do for you!"

"Let us help our mentor in his darkest hour," Mori pleaded.

Asano smiled, pleased with the way his students had grown to become wonderful people. The way he'd wanted them to grow up all along. "In point of fact," he said, leaning down towards one of the boxes he'd packed already, "your timing is excellent." He produced a bottle of champagne, as well as a set of three glasses. "You two can help me celebrate. I've been saving this bottle, new beginnings are rather high on the list of reasons to toast.

"Raise a glass with me," he said, handing his first students glasses. "Get me up to speed on your lives. I'll air my complaints."

Nakai and Mori grinned at each other. "We're glad to lend you an ear," Nakai said.

"All three of us," Mori said. For an instant, Asano wondered if he could see Ikeda smiling beside his two former classmates, but dismissed the vision as a pleasant daydream.

...

The bounty was promptly paid. There wasn't any delay, or deals attempted to be made; it was all cold, hard cash. According to Mr. Karasuma, it was hush money from the government to keep the E Class students' mouths shut, and they understood.

All that was left was to decide how to spend it.

Naturally, Maehara, Okajima and Nakamura went nuts over the amount of money they'd come into; Maehara in particular was listing all of the things he could do now, like buy an expensive car, take trips around the globe, attract hot supermodel girlfriends... Okano was less than thrilled with him after that last one.

Isogai, on the other hand, stared at the pile of money in his hands. He wasn't able to compute what he was holding – the value of the money in his hands kept giving him an overflow error.

The students discussed among themselves, and in the end they consulted Korosensei's Rules to Live By. 'The accomplishment is its own reward. Nothing stunts your growth quite like immediate access to droves of money!'

In the end, a decision was made, and Maehara yelped as Kataoka plucked the thick wad of cash from his hands. E Class kept just enough to live on; college tuition and minimal expenses, mostly. The three most excited for the money, of course, were plunged into despair at the sight.

Some more of the money was donated here and there - Sakura and Mr. Matsukata stared at the money in total shock, babbling as E Class presented them with a briefcase. Everyone smiled at the sight, though Nakamura and Maehara were still a little bummed out over losing the money.

Finally, E Class made one massive purchase as a class.

It felt a little strange making the decision without Nick present, but he'd disappeared after the graduation ceremony. Everyone had been exhausted and fallen asleep on the long bus ride - he must have been one of the first ones dropped off at his house, because he was gone when the others slowly woke up. Still, Mr. Karasuma assured everyone else that Nick had spoken with him and freely forfeited his share of the money, giving it all to the rest of them to do as they pleased with it.

As for the rest, E Class gave it back to the government as a thank-you for the support they showed E Class throughout the year. It was a largely ceremonial affair where Isogai stood in front of a crowd of reporters and handed Karasuma a certificate, but the media ate it up.

They hoped that Mr. Karasuma - or, rather, Agent Karasuma - would use the gift to make an even better name for himself.

...

Slowly, the crescent moon started to crumble. Under the influence of its own gravity, the pieces would eventually cluster together into a much smaller sphere. The explosion that created the crescent moon in the first place, though, pushed the moon into a closer orbit to Earth.

According to the scientists, after a while, the shape, size, gravitational pull... Everything about the moon would return to the situation similar to what it had been before everything went down.

Ever so gradually, the crescent that symbolized everything E Class had gone through over the past year would fade away from the current reality.

 **So, the world will gradually reach equilibrium again. Even without Nick, E Class is doing fine.**

* * *

 **Epilogue 2: Seven Years Later - Karasuma and Irina**

Seven years had passed since the events on that mountaintop. In that time, the moon had crumbled even further; by this point, it was a lot of free-floating chunks in a loosely spherical pattern.

What was more, it was still visible from the daytime, showing through the open curtains of Agent Karasuma's new office.

The years had been kind to him; the only concession to age was slightly closer-cropped hair. He was just as strong as ever, even while he rose through the ranks until being awarded a position of relative importance. One of his jobs, of course, was assigning missions to more junior agents.

"There's sectarian violence brewing in the Middle East," he said. "A group of radicals is on the warpath." He laced his fingers together, leaning on his elbows slightly. "We need a sleeper agent. An operative who's willing to infiltrate enemy ranks. You'll ship out tomorrow. Understood?"

Agent Irina nodded. "Yeah, sure. If that's the job."

She was dressed far more conservatively these days, with her blonde hair in a bun except for two long locks that framed her face. Instead of her glamorous designer suits, she was wearing a simple skirt and white blouse, though the quality was impeccable. She could afford it, naturally.

Of course...

"Oh," she simpered, "but I'm scared. Whatever shall I do, Chief? Imagine a sumptuous creature like _moi_ being captured in hostile territory," she said, sitting on Karasuma's desk and crossing her legs.

...once a bitch, always a bitch.

"Or does the thought get your motor running?" Irina continued, gazing at her husband in a sultry manner. "Your poor, defenseless wife having all sorts of things done to her, by burly men in the desert..."

She reached out to cup Karasuma's chin.

He met her eyes steadily. Likewise, Karasuma was still largely resistant to Irina's flirtations. "This assignment reflects my faith in your abilities," he said flatly. "But if you genuinely see yourself as poor and defenseless, that suggests that your self-assessment leads you to believe that failure is a possible outcome."

He stood up. "Well, I believe you know yourself best. I have no choice but to assign someone else."

"Agh!" Irina shrieked. "Wait, it was a joke!" she cried, clinging to Karasuma as he began to walk away, dragging her behind him. "Is it too much to ask for you to show a teensy bit of concern? C'mon, don't be this way! Ah..."

"So, are you going or not?!" Karasuma barked at her.

"Yes, yes!" Irina nodded.

"Then go get ready!"

Irina burst out of Karasuma's office. "Sir! With pleasure!"

With peace temporarily restored in his office, Karasuma sighed and glanced out the window. It had been seven years since the two of them met, and she hadn't changed at all.

Every now and then, his thoughts turned to the kids. _Their_ kids. What were they doing with their lives? Were they doing well? He wondered, sometimes.

 **Irina: a bitch cannot easily change her spots. Karasuma: still kinda badass.**

* * *

 **Epilogue 3: Seven Years Later - Kayano and E Class**

The train station was busy, like it always was. A woman studied a poster advertising a new morning show named Dragonfly. The main character, played by Haruna Mase, was show jumping off a cliff with a huge smile on her face; 'Jumping off cliffs is just what I do', the tagline read.

The bus rumbled into the station, and she turned. Everyone else was nearby already, and she wanted to have some time alone before meeting everyone.

She took the train, before following a familiar dirt path up a mountain. She passed the sign marking the building as the Former Campus, and knelt down by the empty trough of dirt that used to be full of colorful flowers.

She was wearing fancy clothes - nice shoes and stockings, with a pristine red dress and a black jacket over her shoulders. Still, she ignored all of that and started digging a hole with a small spade. Once it was deep enough, she placed a single flower in the hole, her sister's favorite plant. Her offering made, she stood up and clapped her hands together, praying for her sister and her teacher.

"Oh ho! We have a celebrity!"

Kayano opened her eyes and smiled in pure happiness as she heard Maehara's voice ring out behind her. She turned to see the old members of E Class gathering; unlike her, they were all dressed for a day's work of hard labor, carrying all kinds of supplies and tools. There were eleven people there, twelve if she included herself - everyone that could make it had worked this yearly visit into their schedule. "Hi guys!" she called out.

Many of her old classmates hadn't changed, except to grow older. There were a few, of course; Okajima had started growing out his hair a little bit and Hayami had dropped the twin-tails to let her hair hang free, for a few. Kayano herself had let her hair grow out back to her natural black color.

She didn't need to hide herself anymore, of course.

"Look at you!" Yada squealed. "You're in costume? Are you sure you've got time for all this?"

"Sure," Kayano nodded. "I snuck off the set during my lunch break. I can't let you do the heavy lifting without me!" Yada and Kataoka smiled.

Isogai stepped forward. "Awesome," he said, tossing a keyring in the air and catching it. "Okay, people, let's get this building up to code!"

"Alright!" everyone cheered. It might have been seven years since Isogai was one of their leaders, but he hadn't lost any of his commanding charisma.

"Yup, class president until the end," Fuwa called out.

"Hey now," Isogai protested with good nature. "You're the one who wanted me to hold on to the keys."

Maehara grinned. "What can we say, man? We know who best to leave that sort of thing to."

The E Class members went to work with a passion, throwing open the window to air the place out as they scattered to start cleaning up. The floors were mopped and the windows were wiped down; as Mimura cleaned up the blackboard even though it hadn't been used for years, Isogai used a small ladder to reach up and replace the lightbulbs hanging overhead.

The inside of the building wasn't the only thing that the young adults were fixing up. Hayami and Okajima had hopped up to the roof to re-shingle the roof, the sniper banging away while the pervert passed her the shingles. "Hey, did you ever finish reading Korosensei's advice book?" he asked her.

Hayami sighed. "Nowhere near, actually," she said. "It never ends."

Down around the building, Kimura was picking up trash while Yada swept. "Place is getting rough around the edges," he said, tossing yet another empty beer can into the trash bag. "We shoulda hired a groundskeeper when we bought the mountain."

Yada smiled. "We can handle it," she said. "If you let it get messy, you clean it up. That's one of the old rules, remember?"

Kayano was busy repainting some of the wood frame while Maehara worked on the windows. Beside her, Hara picked up an armful of trash and crumpled cans. "But wow, talk about hitting the big time, Kayano," she said. "You've made it."

Kayano paused in painting the wood to look at her friend, but Maehara spoke up first. "You bet she has. She's got the looks, she does her own stunts... Did you see her jump off a cliff with a huge smile on her face like she was jumping into bed? It'd be weird if she hadn't made it," he grinned.

Kayano smiled. "Oh, come on," she said. "I'm just using all the cool stuff I learned here." Then her smile turned a little bit strained. "Okajima," she said, without turning around, "could you stop playing paparazzi and get back to work please?"

The boy was taking pictures of her in her outfit, muttering to himself.

As the weeds were pulled and the grass mowed, Kayano smiled to herself. E Class had wanted a memorial to visit, to remind them of the fun times they'd had in the class. There wasn't a need for an honorary grave or anything like that. After all, it didn't really feel like they were gone.

She looked up at the roof. She knew it was just her imagination, but she could almost see Korosensei smiling down at them, her sister sitting next to him and waving cheerfully.

This building was still their home, just like it was for all the members of E Class.

After the majority of the repairs had been finished, everyone took a break to sit inside and chat. "I've been thinking, guys," Isogai said, setting his can of tea down on the ground. "We really oughta put this place to good use, y'know? Preserving it's fine and all, but it doesn't really feel like enough."

"Okano's using the back of the mountain a lot, lately," Maehara said. "You know she put together an acrobatic performance squad for her squad, right? Said this was the training ground she's used to, so why not?" Kayano smiled. She could see the energetic Okano bouncing around the mountain, leading the pack as her classmates tried their best to keep up with her on the rough terrain.

Maehara nodded. "Pretty sweet, huh? And recently, Kurahashi started giving nature tours to kids."

Isogai laughed. "No kidding. I swear, making money is in that girl's DNA."

Kayano clutched at her bottle of water and smiled. This building was their huge memento of Korosensei and the time they all spent with him. But personally...

...she already had someone in mind, that could put this school building to good use in the near future.

As for the rest of E Class, they'd grown up exactly how Korosensei had wanted them to. As for Manami and Takebayashi, they'd literally taken a page from their life manuals and put it to good use. Korosensei had included the chemical recipe for the revitalizing cell-activation slime in each of their guidebooks, and using that recipe as a foundation the two scientists were researching artificial blood that could be transfused to any person of any blood type.

The shy girl that had started off not wanting to do anything but science had grown up splendidly; she was the one responsible for the development of the project. And Takebayashi, who'd finally broken free from his parents' chains, was helping her work on the clinical side of things. They called their artificial blood RH Slitherblood.

And there was Sugino, who had become a college baseball star. Kayano caught one or two of his games whenever she managed to find the free time; his versatile pitching style and command of the breaking pitches caught the eye of pro scouts from all over. She'd laughed when she heard that his nickname on the time was Slithery Sugino.

As for Terasaka, his particular skills and talents had caught the eye of a certain professor-politician. Mostly his ability to haul large loads quickly, though Kayano wasn't sure he _appreciated_ being used as his mentor's personal pack mule. Once he's out of college, he'll probably start off as a personal assistant.

Yoshida and Muramatsu were thriving. They'd taken over their family business. Itona, too, went to work for his father's business as soon as he graduated from high school. Kayano had visited him once and asked him what he'd do if their business took a turn for the worse again. He simply replied, "Well, if this doesn't do the trick, I know some guys who'd be happy to come help me out. After all, those two are studying management in college."

So, he's good.

Speaking of technical stuff, Ritsu's completely online. She lives her life to the fullest every day and upgrades herself daily. Kayano had talked to the girl recently, and Ritsu had changed her look a whole lot; without the restriction of needing her clothes to be practical, Ritsu had gone all out designing fancy ornate dresses and costumes to wear. Ritsu was so cheerful, smiling and a lot more animated than she'd ever been before. "I'm parallel processing with computers from every corner of the globe! I can make songs, I can draw, I can explore my emotional range..."

As Kayano smiled, watching Ritsu dance around on her screen, she giggled. Yep, she's living the life. The free spirit. And, fortunately, she's more than willing to help out her old classmates.

Not everyone was so easy to find, though. It had been seven years, and Nick _still_ hadn't resurfaced from wherever he'd hidden. Ritsu, of all people, didn't seem to be that worried - whenever someone asked her if she'd found traces of him online, she just smiled and shook her head. Some of the E Class students had started joking that Nick was a ghost all along, or that he'd worked for the government and they'd erased his identity, or that Nick Weyr wasn't even his real name. Fuwa even suggested the theory that he'd been some sort of extra-dimensional being and had left this dimension after graduating, but everyone agreed that was just too ridiculous to be true.

Whatever the truth was, hopefully he's doing well.

E Class by and large was living the life, adapting themselves whenever necessary. Hazama had gotten a part-time job at a library, from what Kayano had heard; as for Nakamura, the outgoing blonde had gone to an international college and was living the life in Britain. Everyone was doing whatever it takes to better themselves, and take steps towards their own goals.

The break was over soon, and everyone got back to work. As Maehara sprayed the side of the wall with water, he said, "Oh, did you hear about Karma? Dude, he passed the National Civil Service with flying colors."

Chiba shrugged. "Yeah, I'm not surprised. Good luck seeing him tank, right?"

Fuwa laughed. "Well, they say the hard part comes after. He's good, sure, but now there'll be a lot of red tape. Tons of interviews, training, inter-departmental hazing... Of course, if anyone could thrive in that environment, it's him."

Kayano knew that Karma would just call the Ministry of Economy, Trade and Industry something silly, like his personal piggy bank or something like that.

Still, it's Karma they were talking about, so he'd be just fine.

As a matter of fact, everyone from E Class would be just fine.

A splash of water jolted Kayano from her thoughts, and she turned to see Okajima grinning like a loon, holding his hose. Kayano growled, and turned her own hose on him to spray the boy.

Laughing, Okajima ran away from the stream of water. "Hey, stop, I wasn't ready!" he laughed. He hid behind Kataoka.

Kayano's stream of water sprayed Kataoka in the face, soaking the tall woman.

She hurriedly stopped the water, but the damage was done. Growling, Kataoka turned to glare daggers at the cowering boy behind her. "O-ka-ji-ma," she ground out. He shrieked in fear. "What part of your brain told you that was a good idea?!"

"It was an accident, I swear!"

As Maehara and the others laughed, the rest of the E Class students present came running to join in the impromptu water fight.

Whatever the path any of the students chose, Kayano was pretty certain of one thing. No matter where that path leads them, it's a pretty safe bet that Korosensei would have approved. She could see him saying, 'It suits you.'

They had one year together; she knew you could lead a lot of lives in that time. They become part of you. They become part of you, your world. E Class had learned countless lessons about life and how to live it. They would get older, yeah, and life would get in the way, but they could always draw from those heartfelt experiences...

There's the life with pride - Sugaya the artist, making massive sculptures and getting paid what he's worth...

The life with service - Kanzaki helping older folks, wheeling the ones that couldn't walk out in the park to enjoy the nice day...

The life they're given - Sakura walking happily down the main street, full of confidence and bright cheer as she chatted with her friends about the TV show they watched the night before...

And the life they hope to bring into the world... Kayano smiled softly as she looked up at the sky. She sincerely hoped that in the future, she'd be able pass down those ideals - no matter what shape or form that might take.

The countless ways of living... passed down to them in the classroom filled with bloodlust.

Hara sidled up behind Kayano, grinning. "So, tell me the truth... have you been keeping in touch with Nagisa? What's the story there?"

Her grin was teasing as Kayano blushed. On that Valentine's Day, she'd fully expected to have to keep killing her feelings for Nagisa, no matter what - until the boy had run out after her, saying something about understanding what the chocolates meant and that he'd been an idiot for not seeing it when she gave them to him.

She just _knew_ Nick had meddled after she left that classroom, though she wasn't sure what his motives had been - genuine affection? A desire to see both her and Nagisa squirm under the teasing from Nakamura and Karma?

...She figured it was the second one, really. Either way, she got to spend the last month of her life in E Class dating Nagisa; once they went to different high schools it was a little hard to keep in contact, and they'd separated peacefully even though neither of their feelings had dimmed.

"Well..." Kayano murmured to Hara. "There isn't one," she said, smiling a little bit. "I'm not really on his radar these days, sadly. You know how he is... Assassins like him will always be focused solely on their targets."

Once he graduated and had a full-time teaching position, she'd approach him again. Until then, though, she'd be fine watching him from afar, cheering him on all the way.

 **It's like 'where are they now' epilogues except worse in every way because I'm bad at writing.**

* * *

 **Epilogue 4: Seven Years Later - Nagisa**

The sign outside the school read 'Paradise Private Academy, Senior Division." This was his first teaching position, and he had it all planned out.

"Okie-dokie, hey class," Nagisa would say, resting casually against the teaching podium. The boys and girls in front of him would smile at him, polite and cheerful. "I'm your teacher-in-training, Nagisa Shiota. Nice to meet you." It'd been seven years, he was way taller than he used to be. He'd cut his hair short. And, he'd be a beloved teacher.

...In his dreams, at least.

A gloom hovered over his head as Nagisa was surrounded by thugs and delinquents, every single one of them looming over him. "A teacher-in-training?" one of them cackled.

"You gotta be shitting me!"

"Get the fuck outta here, I know middle schoolers taller than you!"

"C'mon guys," one thug laughed, "leave the poor girl alone!"

"Why are you dressed like a _boy_?"

The classroom was totally trashed. Graffiti was painted everywhere, on the walls, floors, and even desks. Windows were broken and poorly taped up, and the blackboard had scratches all over it. Somehow, there were even dirty boot prints on the ceiling!

Nagisa could only wonder how and where things went so wrong.

Life was so unfair! He'd only managed to grow one centimeter after graduating from middle school. Everyone around him kept growing, shooting up like weeds; Kayano reached 157 cm, and when she wore her heels she'd be taller than him!

And Karma? He's over six feet tall! Seriously! This was just some sick, cruel, joke.

And as the icing on the cake, he'd been shipped off to this dysfunctional hell hole, where the power scale was completely flipped on its head from what they had in Kunugigaoka. Nothing like the assassination classroom.

At the back of the classroom, a tall thug stood up. It was clear he was one of the rulers, with some of the others getting out of his way.

The bell rang. "You have any idea what kinda hurt you're in for in this place?" one of the delinquents wearing a hoodie said, brandishing a bat studded with nails.

"From now on, this is a study hall, you got that?"

Nagisa tried to ignore the circle of high schoolers taller than him. "The bell's rung, I'd like to ask you to take your seats please."

"Aw, that's cute," one of the boys laughed, sneering at him. Cruel cackles echoed.

The boy in charge approached them, pushing through the ring until he was standing in front of Nagisa. His hand grabbed Nagisa's tie and pulled him close. "Shut up," the boy said. "You don't get to boss us around. Try it one more time..." His eyes narrowed. "...and we'll _kill_ you."

The cruel laughter seemed to fade away, as Nagisa stared up at the boy threatening him.

Kill?

"Wha?" the tall boy muttered.

Kill... him?

Nagisa's lack of reaction seemed to throw the rowdy boys, and they all stared in confusion.

 _It was an interesting word, kill. Everyone had heard it at some point in their life. Evocative, but overused._

Nagisa smiled peacefully.

 _It's lost some of its mojo._

He brought his hands up, letting the roll book fall. The boy holding him glanced down at it in confusion.

Nagisa slammed his palms together.

As the boy reared back, stunned, he let go of Nagisa.

 _For some of them, though, it still holds the right kind of magic._

Nagisa's hand grasped the boy's chin and tilted his head to the side, exposing his neck. Calmly, Nagisa pressed his middle finger against the boy's carotid artery, electric blue eyes gazing at the rest of the class threateningly. They all stared, frozen, while the boy in his grasp shuddered at his close brush with death.

Nagisa turned him around and smiled. "You're welcome to try," he said brightly. The boy's eyes widened. "You have until graduation!"

Calmly, Nagisa bent down to pick up the roll book that he'd dropped, walking back to the podium without a care in the world.

As he walked away, the thug he'd held in his grip rubbed at his neck and stared at Nagisa's back. It was almost as if... he had an aura. Of some massive, tentacled monster.

Nagisa placed the book on the teacher's podium and smiled. "Alright, people," he said with a grin. "Let's get started, shall we?"

 **Nagisa status: still a badass. Nagisa status: also still tiny.**

* * *

 **(Possible) Epilogue 5: Ten Years Later - Reunion**

It's been a while, huh?

I looked around me, noting my position automatically as well as anyone close to me. My practiced eyes scanned over the people nearby, but none of them were anything other than they appeared. Still, I pulled my phone out of my pocket and hummed in thought.

Beside me, Kana nudged my side. "Hey, hey, we don't wanna be late," she reminded me. "This's the first time ya come back here, after all."

I chuckled softly and shook my head, absently putting my arm around her shoulder. A ring gleamed on my left hand. "Yeah, I know," I said. "That's why I was checking the time, obviously."

A lot can happen in four years. Kana and I were twenty-four, now, and graduated from college – with flying colors, naturally. Or, uh, she graduated with flying colors. I _might_ have given up trying my last semester, just because all I needed to do was pass… Eh. Whatever. Still got a 4.0 for the last semester in the end. Obviously, that meant I didn't slack off hard enough.

Still, it felt weird knowing that in here, ten years had passed. My classmates were all the same age as me and Kana; and I'm certain each of them had grown up exactly the way Korosensei intended. I wonder, would he be proud of the man I've become?

"I'm jus' kinda impressed Agent Kikuoka still had the Fluctlights sitting around," Kana said absently as we walked. It was the beginning of spring, so the temperatures were comfortable, and the trees made a brilliantly colored counterpoint to the trek. "Shame Shinono couldn't come with us, though."

"The Fluctlights was a favor to me. Or, more accurately, a payment," I shrugged. "And Shino's busy with her training. Believe me, I asked."

Kana snickered. "Ya really wanna rub it in that perv's face, huh? What's 'is name, again, anyway?"

"Okajima," I answered with a grin.

"Right, yeah, him."

Well, she wasn't wrong. I doubt even ten years cured the photographer of what ailed him. Either way, it didn't really matter, and I fell silent to swim in the feeling of nostalgia this uphill climb evoked. It'd been three years since I made the trip up to the old campus building, but my body remembered it. It helped that I'd stayed in shape thanks to a combination of rigorous exercise and healthy meals. Kana had flatly refused to let me keep eating the terribly unhealthy campus food once we got our off-campus apartment, so I actually had real meals.

I stopped just before we crested the hill, Kana pulling ahead of me just a bit. "Nervous?" she asked, giving me a grin.

I grinned back weakly. "I disappeared for ten years, and didn't say a word, Kana," I replied. "Nervous might be a bit weak. What if they hate me?"

She shook her head, and then embraced me. After a quick kiss, she pulled away and said, "Done being an idiot?"

I just laughed and walked forward, reaching the top of the hill with her by my side.

I knew E Class would be there – or, well, everyone that could make it. It was the ten-year anniversary of Korosensei's death, after all. The Fluctlights had shown on the tracking monitor that E Class gathered here once a year without fail, though the numbers varied each time.

For the first time ever, though, I was going to be joining the reunion.

We walked up the dirt path, and I realized with a small jolt of surprise that the old building was, well… being used. The dirt path was swept clean, the lawn nearby was kept clean of weeds and extra-long grass, the structure of the building was sound and well-cared for. Plus, I could see inside the clean windows into the main classroom, and posters were hanging up along the walls. They were a lot like the projects E Class had made, way back when, and I smiled. Looks like someone's making good use of this place, huh?

I had a pretty good feeling I knew who was using it, too.

The casual chatter of my old classmates wasn't hard to hear – they were all in the back, talking to each other while eating grilled food, if the smells were any indication – and Kana and I picked our way through the halls. As I stepped outside and looked out over the field, I was able to count the number of heads. Everyone had shown up, it seemed, even Mr. Karasuma and Ms. Irina. I didn't see this Ritsu's tower anywhere, but she was an AI; I had no doubt that she'd evolved in the ten years to not even need a physical mainframe anymore.

It didn't take long for them to notice me, and the chatter slowly died away as everyone started looking up at where Kana and I were standing at the top of the steps. I smiled faintly as I looked over at the sea of my classmates. Okajima had let his hair grow a bit; Hayami was letting hers hang free. Kayano's hair was black, and everyone had grown. A particularly tall red-head caught my eye and grinned smugly at me, forcing me to remind myself that I was perfectly average for my age, and that _he_ was the giant.

"Hey, everyone," I said in the sudden silence. "…It's good to see you all."

I'm not sure who moved first, but I barely had time to make it down the steps before I was being swarmed by my classmates. "Nick!" Yada cried as she gave me a hug. "It's so good to see you!" I patted her back.

"Good to see you, man," Maehara said, slapping me on the back. "Where've you been hiding, anyway? We haven't heard a word!"

"Have some food!" Hara pressed a meat skewer onto Kara, who gratefully accepted.

Off to the side, Terasaka gave me a nod. He looked a little haggard but was still standing tall as an ox. I wonder, did he ever make his dream of being a politician come true? The rest of his crew were all standing around him; Yoshida and Muramatsu grinned, while Itona just kept eating his food, face deadpan as usual.

My phone chimed, and I grinned when I pulled it out of my pocket. "Nick!" Ritsu cheered. A complicated emotion flickered through me as I noticed that her eyes were suspiciously red, but I settled on simply smiling at her. She knew where I'd been, but... "You're back!"

"Hey, Ritsu," I said. "Looks like you've done well for yourself. I like the new look, it looks good on you." She giggled, before twirling around to show off her fancy outfit. It was surprising to see such a familiar face wearing clothes that were basically screaming at my eyes with their bright colors. To my right, Kana was smugly showing off the ring on her left hand, a few of the girls cooing over the jewelry. I think Okajima was busy crying somewhere – I didn't tell him about Shino. It would have been too brutal, even for me.

When the greetings were almost done, I felt something brush by my senses. I turned around, and the group spread apart.

A yellow tentacle reached out, and the white tiger inside me stirred, lifting a paw –

\- as Nagisa and I shook hands. "Welcome back, Nick," the teacher said.

I grinned. "Hey." Then I tilted my head in thought. "…You didn't grow at all, did you?"

Everyone laughed while the poor guy blushed. "It's not fair," he muttered.

I laughed. "Swap stories with Kana, she hasn't grown since she was fourteen," I told him. "So hey, how's everyone doing? I know I've been out for a while, I really didn't mean to be gone so long…"

 **A possible future. Depends on how the third book goes, y'know? Elements might be true, might not be, and some might change.** **And yes, the rings** _ **are**_ **exactly what you think (and so are the comments about Shino).**


End file.
